Chapter Text
You float amongst the stars, nestled in clouds of debris. The universe reclaimed you…the star keeping you alive finally returning to its home. To the place stars are born.
You lazily drag a hand through the orange cloud cradling your form. The stardust parted at your touch, only to be pulled back in. Nucleating around your form. The Universe reclaiming what belongs to it, taking you with it.
You let your eyes close…you did your job. Your stardust got his happy ending and now- now your wish is being fulfilled.
For it to end.
That’s what you wanted. That’s all you've ever wanted.
An end.
Yet your heart aches. It aches and cries. You feel something warm drift past your face, bidding your eyes open as it settled in your lap. Did you hate what you found? Or did you love it? You weren’t sure anymore.
Either way, you brought your hands up, cradling the familiar ball of light. The star embedded in your head pulsed, flashing against your eyes, throbbing in your head. One more star. A star guided you out of your hell. Now…it will deliver its end. It's warm, it's comforting. Your mind starts to relax as it shines around you.
You don’t want to go.
A star guided you to the little rogue, the mirror you got attached to against your own better judgment. The duplicate that took your place. The stardust you came to admire. His smile of excitement. The way his voice would hitch when he got excited. That attempt at a wink when he thought he was being cheeky. Those…those amazing puns. He understood you in a way no one had before.
You don’t want to go.
You pull the star close to your chest, its glow joining your broken wish. Your wish, you knew, you remembered. To stay with them. You lost that chance, now. They were so far away…they stared at you like a stranger and you were. You were a stranger! These were not your allies! But- But they could be…
You don't want to go.
You closed your eyes. It didn’t matter what you wanted. The light surrounded you, consuming you, your soul.
Your body.
Your mind.
Claws dig into skin, peeling back
Fingers piercing flesh, digging deeper…deeper
Tight grip wrapped around the rotten pit
Tighter…tighter…tight…CRACK
Siffrin jolted awake, blinking and looking around in confusion. They were…where were they? They know this room it’s- Oh! It’s the in- ah…infirmary! Yeah. Siffrin settled back, licking their lips, it tasted like peaches. Strange.
No, wait. That’s a smell in the air. The burning echo made it hard to tell what was a taste and what was a smell anymore. The smell was coming from beside them.
Mirabelle.
Siffrin smiled. She was asleep in the chair beside him. She looked peaceful, for once in her life. They knew they shouldn’t get up, they should just lay back down and go back to bed. Yet there was a buzzing in their body. Mira will be sad if she wakes up with them gone, he’s supposed to be resting!
But…a short walk shouldn’t hurt! She won’t wake up! Siffrin shoved himself off the bed, stumbling a little before taking a steady breath and straightening up. Their cloak felt heavy on their body. It needed to come off!
Siffrin tugged the heavy cloth over their head, taking a deep breath of air. Ah- but what to do with it now? He can't just leave it wherever, it's too important! So where….
They stopped and looked down at Mira. No one would move it if she was using it as a blanket. And she needed one anyway! It can't be comfortable sleeping in a chair to begin with, but to do so in her uniform and with no blanket.
Terrible!
Siffrin draped the cloak over the housemaiden, smiling a little before moving away. She deserved comfort…after everything.
The rogue moved through familiar halls in unfamiliar directions. He dared not open any doors, even those familiar he knew did not lead where he thought they would. They remembered…Odile telling him when he was half awake that the house was back to normal, the rooms weren't warped and shuffled.
Mira almost always mentioned that the house felt wrong. Now it all feels wrong to Siffrin. Yet still, he found himself in the center hall. He knew this area, he knew these pillars. On habit he thought of the death corridor.
He thought of its button in its stupid pillar. They thought of those first loops, so far away now. Every new room…every new hall, more pillars. Even if he couldn't die, he didn't want to get crushed again. So he checked every single one.
His hand ran down one of the pillars as the memory consumed his mind…and from a crevice he plucked a small bottle of thyme. It shouldn't be here, but it's good to know that still works.
Siffrin tossed the glass bottle over his shoulder, focusing on the stairs as the shatter echoed softly through the hall. Up…nothing wrong with a walk! They started up the stairs, counting each step just to distract themself from the familiarity. Just don't think about it.
Don't think about it.
Just keep moving.
Up to the king….
The top of the house, where the king was waiting. Siffrin stopped at the door at the very top. Their head felt dizzy, their mind buzzing as, for a moment, they were back in the lightless cursed halls.
Open the door.
Light leaked through the cracks. It wasn't the heavy darkness that plagued their loops. They needed to open the door…they needed to see that he was beaten.
To stop the shaking.
Stop shaking.
Open the door Siffrin!
With a grunt and a groaning creak the door swung open. Light halls, bright pillars, and the only speck of darkness is-
….Loop?
Wait-
Yeah! That's Loop. Their body the only speck of darkness., illuminated by their glowing head. But something was wrong. Dread sunk into Siffrin's stomach before Loop even turned to look at them.
Dust swirled in front of them, where there was supposed to be a man in armor. Loop themself looked different, less like a human. Siffrin tried to focus on that, on the strange tail, the star burst tapping against the floor, on- on….
On anything but the dripping. On anything but the black liquid sliding off Loop's clawed hand, dripping against the light floor…pools of it seeped between the tiles beneath Loop's paws.
Siffrin started to step back, but froze as Loop moved. Turning around…their eyes locked onto Siffrin.
Their eyes were blank.
Their footsteps were quiet.
Siffrin couldn't move. Couldn't move couldn't think couldn't-
The smell of rust choked the air…of something burning that should never burn.
They left a trail dripping from their hand as they moved.
The clawed hand came up and Siffrin shrank back, not fast enough. It reeked like their knife, sharp as one too, trailing up his throat, then pressing into his chin. Loop forced their head up, to meet their soulless gaze.
Dread for what was done, turned into fear. Fear for what was about to happen. Siffrin knew Loop was strong…even after everything Loop still beat them. But Loop would never hurt them. Loop had their chance and didn't take it.
Loop would not kill them!
But….
But this isn't Loop…
A black hand moved up, palm pressing against their forehead. It was cold against Siffrin's skin…yet something in the soulless body softened.
“Sleep.”
The word echoed through the chamber, echoed through the rouge…echoed through reality.
And darkness overcame the treasured traveler.
You gasp for air as your body is real again, as your mind is assaulted by senses.
The smell of burning blood
Siffrin
Marble white in morning lig-
SIFFRIN!
You push forward, catch your stardust before he smacks his head against the marble. You look at your arm, sticky…black turned burgundy.
Red drips off your elbow…staining marble white.
Your gaze hurriedly flicks to your stardust, searching him for any signs of…anything! Did you do this? Did someone else? Was this-
No. No…it wasn't his blood.
He's asleep…he's okay.
You try to shake the blood off your hand before pulling your stardust close. His head rest calmly against your chest as you shakily cradled him. You forgot how calm he looked asleep.
How small he was.
How light…how cute.
He shouldn't be here. You know he shouldn't. But he is…and he saw-
Blood stained marble white…leading back…you didn't want to look behind you.
You don't want to see what you did.
You don't want to think about what wonderful thing you did while you weren't in control.
….don't remember. You weren't here. So it's not your problem!
You're here. Right now. Holding your stardust gently in your arms. He shouldn't be here.
Your feet move, falling into unfamiliar halls that led to familiar rooms. You just needed to follow, your instincts, the pulsing in your chest to-
To the infirmary.
Yeah, after everything your stardust belongs here. An empty bed, with the housemaiden sat beside it. Your heart aches seeing the old faded fabric draped around her.
You miss its weight.
You miss its warmth around you. You miss the flam-
You find your gaze locked on the brazier, the flames flickering, bathing the room in light. You couldn't even miss things without remembering…without thinking of everything that happened.
Shaking your head, you focus down, on the sleeping rogue. He’s free…you're free…tomorrow will finally come.
You gently set your stardust in the empty bed and tug the blanket over him. You reach for his white hair…then stop as a drop of blood stains the white pillow.
Right. You're still-
You still reek of iron and rust and blood.
You feel a pulsing in your chest and let out a tired sigh. Still the puppet…still the joke. There's something you have to do.
You pull back, your heart aching to stay but you have to leave. There's something you have to find.
So says The Universe.