Chapter Text
Yuji stared at the coffee maker with barely concealed murderous intent. The oblivious coffee maker continued churning out freshly made brew (that smelt delicious, by the way, the beans were imported). No matter how many times he pushed the off button on the thrice damned machine, it continued making latte. More latte. So much latte that he'd had to put a bucket underneath to make sure no perfectly fine coffee was wasted. Yes, his problem solving skills left a lot to be desired.
He'd also had to put up a 'closed' sign on the front door of the coffee shop to prevent unsuspecting customers from coming in and witnessing the coffee catastrophe -catascoffee?- and then never coming back in again. How could he show off his newly acquired latte art making skills that he'd learned from YouTube tutorials, in these conditions?
When he'd been hired as a barista in the 'Jujutsu cafè' and saw the almost ancient coffee maker in the cafe for the first time-and he means , ancient ancient, it was old and beat up, with weird black lines running through the body of the machine- he thought his problem would be the opposite of what it was now. Naturally, like a rational person, he'd thought he would've had to work hard to make the old machine work, maybe give it a few kicks for good measure when it wasn't churning out enough coffee.
But alas, because the universe hated Yuji, the old and beat up coffee-maker was in prime condition! It never stopped making lattes and Espressos, no matter what he did. And trust him, he tried everything! From hitting the off-button a million times, to not putting in any coffee beans and milk in the machine, or even pulling the plug on the machine (which, admittedly made him feel very bad, like he was pulling the plug on an old person in the hospital, if the old person in question could easily run a few hundred miles in a second).
But no matter what he tried, the stubborn coffee-maker that he'd started to call 'emperor curse' in his mind, kept. On. Making. Coffee. In fact, whenever he'd tried to make the coffee maker stop, it had churned out even more coffee as vengeance. Yuji could not recall of a bigger hater of him than this coffee machine.
He sat despondently in front of the coffee maker, staring at it still churning out coffee, wondering where it all went wrong. The coffee maker had a pink lid, a pink colour that matched his hair so well that once or twice, his mind had inevitably wondered if there was something his pink-haired father had with a coffee maker that Yuji hadn't known about.
Twenty minutes and three full buckets of latte later, the coffee machine was still churning out coffee. It's gleaming logo, 'SUKUNA' written in a stylized font, gleamed in the dull lighting of the back room, almost taunting him. What kind of brand was 'Sukuna', anyway? Must be an off-brand knock off of an actual reputable brand, no wonder it was faulty.
And the thing was, the only person who was tormented to such an extent by the coffee maker was Yuji, and no one else! Nobara and Yuta, two other baristas in the cafe were also troubled by emperor curse, but not to the level that Yuji was! Usually, when they used sukuna, it was functioning well, erratic at times, but nothing unmanageable.
With Yuji, however? All bets were off, the stupid machine never stopped, or made absolutely shit tasting coffee. As much as the emperor curse loved to hate Yuji, it loved to love Megumi, it seemed. Megumi, another barista and the first friend he'd made when he joined here, was the coffee maker's absolute favourite. Whenever Megumi was operating it, it made perfect lattes, in the perfect quantity, with a taste so divine, like the coffee gods themselves had blessed it. It just wasn't fair!
He sighed and watched the fourth bucket fill up halfway through with latte. Should he just quit and look for another coffee shop near the hospital where his grandfather was? Or just any other job where they allowed people under 18, without a school graduation degree, and didn't underpay? He sighed again, there wasn't any, it's why he'd applied here in the first place.
Not that there was anything too wrong with this cafe, the wages were quite fair, actually, certainly more than the minimum wage, and the manager, Gojo, a guy in his mid-twenties with striking blue eyes and white hair, though immature at times, was the best manager he could ask for! He was fun, never shouted at Yuji even though he had a tendency to fuck up coffee orders at times (Megumi shouted at him enough, honestly), wasn't strict about shifts, and never understaffed the cafe! A dream manager, to be honest. Even if he wasn't any help when Yuji wanted help in making a coffee-
"Gojo, a customer just asked for a frappe, do we have them on the menu?"
Gojo usually replied along the lines of, "What's a frappe, Yuji-kun?". And so, Yuji had never bothered to ask him again.
The cafe itself, however was....shady. He loved working here, don't get him wrong, but there was a reason the 'help needed' sign outside the shop had been up for so long. The rumors about the cafe and it's 'heartbreakingly beautiful ' manager were famous all through Shibuya, where it was located.
The dark and brooding decor here, the weird strange noises that customers always heard when they were just trying to enjoy some espresso, and say nothing of the ensemble cast of characters that were their regulars, it was no wonder the people thought what they did.
Some said it was a Satan-worshipping organization. Some said it was a front for the yakuza. Yet others said it was a base aliens operated from. And the requirements for a barista that were hanging on the window didn't help it's reputation, they were-
1)Should not be a scaredy cat.
2)Should not ask too many questions.
3)Should be fine with handling the cafe on their own for extended periods of time.
If Yuji hadn't been absolutely desparate for a job to cover the bills for the new medication his grandfather needed, he wouldn't have applied, but alas, here he was, watching as the fourth bucket of latte was close to filling up.
One, Yuji wasn't a scaredy cat, infact, he was in the supernatural club of his school.
Two, he was a curious person, but he could stop asking questions if that was what was needed.
Three, well, he used to think it was unfair that someone should have to man the entire cafe by themselves for extended periods of time, but a promise of double plus extra by Gojo, for any time he would be required to handle the fort on his own, had been more than enough to make it fair.
He'd been handling the cafe on his own for twenty minutes now, twenty minutes since Nobara had left,
"Oi, Yuji, handle the cash counter, I'm going out shopping!" She ordered him, it wasn't really a request.
And Yuta,
"Yuji, can you handle the pastry counter? Miguel called me for something urgent." Poor guy, Miguel must be his grandpa or something, Yuji hoped everything was okay, ofcourse he'd agreed.
"Sure thing, Yuta-senpai!"
And even Megumi,
"Yuji, I have to go visit Tsumiki, please don't mess up any coffee orders you get in my absence."
Megumi's older sister Tsumiki was just discharged from the hospital after a long time, and Yuji wanted to help them as much as he could! So he'd agreed to him too, ofcourse.
"Sure thing, Megumi!"
And then Gojo,
"Yuji-kun, I'm going to get something sweet from the sweetshop near the station!"
"Can't you eat something from this cafe? You are the owner, after all, Gojo."
"A true chef never eats his own food, Yuji-kun!" Oh damn, Yuji was learning something new everyday!
"...... really? I didn't know! Thanks for telling me, Gojo!" Ofcourse Yuji couldn't say anything about Gojo leaving, he was the boss.
"No problem, Yuji-kun, see you!"
All of them had left around the same time, twenty minutes ago, leaving him alone in the cafep.
It was the slow hour, so there hadn't been a single customer in the cafe, and as a result, he'd started to feel sleepy and thought of making a coffee for himself.
That had been his first mistake. His second mistake was using 'Sukuna' instead of just using another coffee-maker. His third mistake was naively believing that Sukuna would work this time. Alas, hubris leads to downfall, and so Yuji is sitting here now, watching the Latte waterfall continue.
Just as he's contemplating straight up punching the machine, the front door opens. Nobara, Yuta, Megumi and Gojo all come back at the same time. That's odd, they left at the same time and came back at the same time? Before he's had a chance to think about this too much, Megumi's yell rings out through the cafe,
"Yuji! Shut the coffee maker down!" He looks very irritated, even more so than usual.
"I'm trying, Megumi, But the coffee maker just won't stop!"
Ofcourse, that's exactly the moment that Sukuna chooses to stop making Latte, quietly shutting down, looking like an innocent coffee maker instead of the bane to Yuji's life it actually is.
Megumi rolls his eyes, his voice as flat as the lattes Yuji usually made turned out to be, "Oh it won't? Seems like it just did."
Yuji is this close to shaking both Megumi and Sukuna till they believe him, but thankfully, Gojo comes to his defense,
"Megumi, Yuji is right! That coffee maker is a stubborn one, it's practically a fossil, after all!"
"See, Megumi? Gojo understands me! Though, why won't you just throw it out, Gojo? We could get a newer model!" Suddenly, as if taking offence to Yuji's words, a burst of latte spews from Sukuna, which finds it's unsuspecting victim in Yuji, who was the only one standing close enough to be absolutely covered in Latte from head to toe.
Yuji really, really hates this coffee maker.
He must've looked very, very pathetic because even Nobara, who usually had no sympathy for his stupidity, sighed and fetched him a towel. He cleaned up his face, arms and legs as best as he could, but his clothes were still ruined with Latte.
Fortunately, Gojo spoke up again, "There's some spare clothes in the store upstairs, Yuji-kun, you can change into those. Megumi? Go with him."
"Thank you, Gojo!" Why did he ask Megumi to go with him, though? That seemed odd, Yuji wasn't a five year old who needed a chaperone.
~~~~~~~~~
The store was a dark and gloomy room that was the stuff of nightmares. It was full of things that Yuji, for the life of him, could not recognise, and when he'd tried asking Megumi about them, he'd just shrugged him off.
"Uh, Megumi? What's that box? Why does it have eyes on it?"
"Table centerpiece."
"Why are there so many knives and staffs hung up on the wall?"
"Gojo is weird."
"What are tho-" he'd been about to enquire about the weird scroll hung up on the wall, with something written on it in a wierd language, when Megumi had shoved some clothes at his face to shut him up.
"Here, I'll turn around, change and don't touch anything."
This was getting weirder. His grandpa had always said he was too trusting at times, he always brushed him off, thinking his old grandpa was just too cynical, but what if this time he was actually right? Maybe he should have thought twice before following Megumi into a place that looked like a serial killer 's wet dream.
Was he about to be murdered here? Megumi didn't seem like a serial killer but then again, no one who was in the good graces of that damn coffee machine could be not evil.
As Yuji put on the yellow tshirt that was two sizes too big for him, and brown trousers that he'd had to roll up four times to make them the right length, he couldn't help but notice a weird purple light coming from one of the boxes.
His eyes widened, Oh god, was it on fire?! He immediately rushed forward to open the box, to look for the source of the light, when he was yanked back by Megumi. He was glaring at Yuji.
"What did you do, Yuji?!", he bonked Yuji on his head. Seriously, Megumi has got to stop doing that! Since they'd met a week ago for the first time, Megumi had already bonked him three whole times, didn't he get it was making him dumber?!
"Me?! I didn't do anything, I didn't even touch anything! I swear, it was on fire before I even tried to touch it!"
He struggled against Megumi's grip, "Megumi, let me go! We need to stop the fire! Where do you keep the fire extinguishe-"
He was abruptly cut off by Megumi. "Fire?! Have you ever seen purple fire?!" Megumi was pinching the bridge of his nose, now.
"I'm not good at science!"
Before Megumi could reply, the box flung open on it's own, and a hideous creature, short and round, with rows upon rows of teeth, one single eye without an eyelid that seemed to be looking into their souls, and more limbs than Yuji cared to count, sprung up from it.
What? Yuji pinched himself for good measure, maybe dealing with Sukuna for twenty minutes had induced insanity in him. Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream, as the creature didn't immediately vanish but lunged at them, hissing and clawing.
They jumped out of the way, and Yuji landed flat on his back, on one side of the room, and Megumi on the other. The creature advanced in Yuji's direction, fully intent on attacking, but before Yuji or the monster could do anything, the door slammed open.
Gojo was standing there, with an expression on his face that Yuji had never seen before, his face looked...... serious. He looked...angry. This has to be a dream, Gojo was never serious!
Gojo snapped his fingers, and the creature vanished, leaving behind a very confused Yuji, and some purple goo.
What the fuck had just happened here?!
Gojo then turned to Yuji, who was trying to do his best impression of a shocked fish.
"Ah, Yuji-kun, you weren't afraid, were you?" His voice had an odd inflection to it, almost like he was gauging him. Yuji had the faintest suspicion that he was being tested right now.
Yuji shook his head. "No, but Gojo, that thing was absolutely disgusting, what the hell was it?!"
Yuji looked wildly between Gojo and Megumi, the former of which looked sheepish and the latter of which looked irritated, though that wasn't a new expression for Megumi. If Yuji didn't get any answers soon-
Megumi spoke to Gojo, an undercurrent of smugness in his tone, "I told you we should have told Yuji beforehand."
"Told me what!? Gojo? What does he me-"
Yuji was abruptly cut off as Gojo gently tapped his forehead, and immediately darkness surrounded him, sending him into a deep slumber. The last thing Yuji thought about as arms caught him was, 'Man, I really, really hate that coffee maker'.