Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-Class 1-gAy-

Alien Queen
GOOD MORNING GAYS
and Satou, Hagakure, Ojiro, Iida, and Shouji

forgotten child
the slander??? what happened to the energy u gave the gays????

Alien Queen
I got blasted away by ur boringness

forgotten child
nuh uh

The Rock
I like how you’re just assuming everyone else is queer even though you don’t know for sure
like, what if I were straight huh
what would you do then?

Alien Queen
cry probably

Deku
I LIVED
THREE BROKEN RIBS BUT I LIVED
WHAT’S UP GAYS
AND NOT GAYS
YIPPEE

forgotten child
HI MIDORIYA
see mina, u don’t have to be gay to get an enthusiastic good morning

Pikachu
YOOOOO MIDORIYRAAA
GOGOD MORINGIN HOW ARE YOU FEELINH

Deku
ABSOOLUTELY BAGNNGIN BUT I MIGHTHT BE DYING
YOU KNOW HOW IT SI

Pikachu
REAL HONESTTLY GET BEETTER SOON BEDYDY

Deku
THAKNAS THAT THT EEGOSL

Emo
why do they automatically get worse at texting when they’re texting each other???

ribbit
hey uraraka can you translate

Kirbyknife
“yooooo Midoriya, how are you feeling?”
“absolutely banging but I might be dying. you know how it is”
“real honestly, get better soon buddy”
“thanks, that’s the goal”
yw

mini-zawa
you’re an angel, uraraka

Kirbyknife
ikr

The Rock
i wish i was as confident as Uraraka 3

Pikachu
beleive in yourself bro

The Rock
bro

Pikachu
BRO

Edgelord
Can we refrain from starting another “bro” chain? The last one was so long the darkness came and went. It fell asleep because it was so long

mini-zawa
this actually happened I was there when the darkness fell asleep

duct tape
are you and the darkness buddies

mini-zawa
yes
dare I say you could call us pals

Alien Queen
HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEEENNNNDDDDDD

mini-zawa
I walked into that one

duct tape
LMFAOOOOOO

boring :)
damn I didn’t even think of the song
I was thinking of that one horror game monologue
“don’t keep the darkness waiting, old friend”
smth like that

Emo
The line is actually “don’t keep the devil waiting, old friend”, but I get where you’re coming from

Pikachu
"erm actually"
^^ you when you said that

Emo
kys

Pikachu
no u

Emo
dumbass

Pikachu
at least i have an ass

Emo
DAMN YOU

MOMo
Kaminari, let's not insult each other

Pikachu
sorry i insulted your gf mom but she deserved it
she called me dumb

Emo
YOU ARE DUMB

Pikachu
NUH UH

The Rock
I love you bro but you’re kind of dumb

Pikachu
NOT MY OWN BHROTHER
MY OWN BLOOD AND DNA
HOW COULD YOU

Kirbyknife
the betrayal
is this how having siblings is usually like?

ribbit
yes

duct tape
yes

mini-zawa
yup

traumaroki
I don’t think my opinion on this is valid
anyways we’re out of lucky charms

Alien Queen
omfg no not the lucky charms

ANGER ISSUES
Serves you right

traumaroki
okay gaylord

ANGER ISSUES
SHUT UP ZEST FEST

traumaroki
be more creative than your boring fashion taste

ANGER ISSUES
I AM LITERALLY A MODEL WTF DO YOU MEAN ‘BORING FASHION TASTE’

Alien Queen
UR A MODEL
WHAT
WHAT
AHWTA
WHA
TA3HT

traumaroki
i win

ANGER ISSUES
KILL YOURSELF TWINK

duct tape
BAHWABHWBHABAHABSASHSB TWINK

Pikachu changed traumaroki’s name to ‘Twink’

Twink
I did not consent to this

ribbit
this really matches your username in the other gc

mini-zawa
oh god

Alien Queen
wait what his user in the other gc?? WHAT OTHER GC??

ribbit
Todoroki’s is ‘Manwhore’

The Rock
HEKKPLPPP;PPP

forgotten child
what’s urs

ribbit
Manipulate
Midoriya’s is ‘Mansplain’
Uraraka’s is ‘Malewife’
Iida’s is ‘Manslaughter’
and Shinsou’s is ‘Fear’

duct tape
WHY IS IIDA’S MANSLAUGHTER
WTF

Class Prez
It’s a long story

Kirbyknife
i remember when you told me the first time and I was like :(
and then I thought about it and it was honestly kind of funny tbh

ribbit
^^^^

mini-zawa
Iida’s murder story is NOT funny idk where you’re getting these takes

Pikachu
Iida’s what now

Class Prez
Like I said before, long story

Kirbyknife
I can’t believe deku and todoroki are enablers
i expected better of you two

ANGER ISSUES
Deku was suspended four times in junior high
twice for fights, once for carrying a fucking knife
once for drinking alcohol in the classrooms DURING CLASS
why would you ever assume he would be normal

Deku
shuuttup at least i wasnt a coward aboutt it

ANGER ISSUES
SHUT UP AT LEAST I WASN’T KNOWN AS THE KID WHO BROKE SOMEONE ELSE’S ARM

Deku
????? i didn’t break anyones arm

ANGER ISSUES
You broke fucking
uh
fuck what was his name
that one kid with the orange hair
the annoying one

Deku
OHHHH YEAAHHHHH
i didn’t break his arm i broke his wrist
and he broke my nose soooo

ANGER ISSUES
You literally attacked him

Deku
he stole my stuff idk what you wanted me to do

MOMo
Who raised you to be so violent? Certainly not me

Deku
kacchans fault

Twink
Bakugou is the reason midoriya swears like a four year old who just discovered the words as well

Deku
I do not

Class Prez
You do

Deku
what is this???? izuku slander day

ANGER ISSUES
Aunty would be very disappointed in you if she heard the sorts of things you say to me

Deku
my mom would not give a SHIT about what I say to you
have you ever heard her and your mom argue???

ANGER ISSUES
No, my dad banishes me before I ever get to the good part

The Rock
Banishes you???????

ANGER ISSUES
yes

Kirbyknife
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MISS MIDORIYA
I LOVE HER SO MUCH
DEKU YOUR MOM IS THE BEST WOMAN

ribbit
Midoriya Inko best woman award say aye

Emo
aye

Kirbyknife
aye

Twink
Aye

boring :)
AYE

*sparkling*
Aye!

Alien Queen
aye!!!!

Deku
AYE
MY MOM IS THE BEST

Pikachu
AYE AYE

The Rock
CAPTAIN

duct tape
I CAN’T HEAR YOU

Alien Queen
AYE AYE CAPTAIN

Pikachu
OOOOHHHHHHHHH

duct tape
WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

ANGER ISSUES
SHUT THE FUCK UP

The Rock
you can sing that to the tune sooo
ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE

Alien Queen
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Pikachu
IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE IS SOMETHING YOU WISH

The Rock
SPONGE. BOB. SQUARE. PANTS.

duct tape
THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH

ANGER ISSUES
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

mini-zawa
my mom banned spongebob
mostly because she didn’t know english and she didn’t want me to learn

duct tape
that’s depressing spongebob slaps

mini-zawa
does it really or are you just shitting me

Deku
nobody is shitting you shinsou

mini-zawa
WILL THERE BE A DAY WHERE I CAN GO WITHOUT MIDORIYA TWISTING MY WORDS

Deku
No

Edgelord
Why does that single word have so much certainty behind it.
It's like he's a god or something.

Pikachu
midoriya are you god

Deku
not yet

Twink
that’s ominous

Deku
I live to spite god and then when I die in like two years I’m going to beat him in a fistfight and THEN I’ll be god
kacchan goes to hell

ANGER ISSUES
KILL YOURSELF

Deku
that’s a new one
may 5th, 2218

ANGER ISSUES
why tf do you have the date memorised

Deku
It was a momentous occasion
also i met all might

ANGER ISSUES
that makes more sense

Chapter Text

-The M Word-

Manwhore
hey izuku

Mansplain
yo

Manwhore
when you die can I have your all might posters

Mansplain
why

Manwhore
I’m going to make copies and then hang the copies all over my house to piss off my dad

Mansplain
if you promise you’ll keep the originals in good quality then I would love to donate to the fuck endeavour cause

Manipulate
Can I have your shirts that say ‘shirt’ on them

Mansplain
yes

Malewife
can I have your mom

Mansplain
No

Malewife
NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fear
can I have your mom???

Mansplain
My mom is not my property

Manslaughter
Midoriya, can I have all of your Ingenium merch?

Mansplain
absolutely

Fear
OH MY GOD
GIVE ME YOUR ERASERHEAD STUFF
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

Mansplain
only because you asked so nicely

Fear
thank you midoriya

Manipulate
you’ll be giving kirishima your crimson riot stuff, right?

Mansplain
yeah
I should make a will

Malewife
top ten deku quotes
‘i should make a will’

Fear
JWDBJSDJSFB
Denki made a quote book btw

Mansplain
he did not

Fear
It’s actually for the whole class but… it’s mostly you

Mansplain
damn my inability to shut up

Manslaughter
Do I have quotes?

Fear
yes
my favourite of yours is ‘keep sparkling, whatever that means’

Manipulate
golden
is the time he said ‘when I go to jail for this, will I get a lesser sentence for being a minor?’ in there??

Fear
NO???? I’M ADDING IT RIGHT NOW

Malewife
this conversation is too funny to keep to ourselves
LET’S MOVE TO THE CLASS EVERYBODY
PACK IT UP

—

-Class 1-gAy-

duct tape
look, if I were given a hundred bucks, idk

Pikachu
homiesexual

duct tape
you’re on thin ice, denki

Twink
What in the world did I just read?

ribbit
hey class 1gay
I have a new quote for the quote book

Alien Queen
OH NO
WHAT IS IT

boring :)
the fear that just surged through my body

Edgelord
if it doesn’t make sense, I’m feeding the book to dark shadow

ribbit
It’s actually pretty simple this time
“I should make a will” -Midoriya

The Rock
HELP?????? WHAT

mini-zawa
the other one is ‘when I go to jail for this, will I get a lesser sentence for being a minor?’ -Iida

ANGER ISSUES
what the fuck four eyes

Class Prez
It was an important clarifying question!

duct tape
Will I ever get context for the whole thing Iida has with crime???

Pikachu
why did you make it sound so dirty

duct tape
THAT’S IT.
YOU’RE DONE FOR KAMINARI
I’M GETTING THE SANDAL

Pikachu
NOOOOO
I’M RUNNING

Kirbyknife
to answer your question, sero
No. no you won’t.

Deku
I FINISHED MY WILL

Emo
YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT MAKING ONE???

Deku
Of course I was
there’s no way i’m living long enough to make an actual will, so I’ve written a makeshift one just in case i die early

ANGER ISSUES
‘just in case’ like you’ll actually live to see adulthood

Deku
that’s what the will is for
ANYWAYS
“My mom gets first pick on all of my stuff. Whatever she leaves can be distributed however seen fit as long as they follow these guidelines:
All Might posters go to Todoroki for copying, and once he’s done with them, the 20th anniversary poster goes to Mirio.
Mirio also gets all Nighteye merch.
Tsuyu gets all of the shirts I own that describe what they say on them. Ex: ‘t-shirt’, ‘white shirt’, ‘workout shirt’, ‘tanktop’, ‘murder shirt’, etc.
Ochako gets all Thirteen merch. She also gets all of my jewellery.
Kirishima gets all Crimson Riot merch as well as some Fat Gum merch, which he can share with Amajiki.
Shinsou and Eri get all Eraserhead and Present Mic merch.
Kaminari gets his mother’s merch as well as all of my manga.
Iida gets all Ingenium merch.
Kacchan gets my notebooks, all remaining All Might merch, and that box of random things I’ve stolen from him over the years.
Anything not already taken can be distributed throughout Class 1-A of U.A as they see fit.”

The Rock
YEAAAHHHH I GET STUFF
YOU HAVE CRIMSON RIOT MERCH???? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

mini-zawa
what happened to giving me all of the eraserhead merch, hmmm?????

Deku
sorry but Eri’s my favourite

mini-zawa
HOW DARE YOU

Pikachu
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU MIDORIYA
I LOVE MANGA SO MUCH
CAN I KISS YOU

Deku
uhhhh
no….?

Pikachu
damn, rejected again

duct tape
I FOUND YOUUUU

Pikachu
NOOOOOOOODSOIGDJOFIGJHL

Pikachu is offline

Kirbyknife
UWUWAUAHAHAHUWHH THANK YOU I LOVE YOU DEKU

Deku
awww i love you too

Kirbyknife
I CAN’T WAIT FOR WHEN YOU DIE

ribbit
OCHAKO

MOMo
Oh god

Kirbyknife
WAIT NOT LIKE THAT
I MEAN
FUCK????

ANGER ISSUES
Pink cheeks gets it
I want deku dead too

Deku
been waiting twelve years yet you still can’t get rid of me

duct tape
how long have you two known each other because twelve years is a long ass time

Deku
all our lives I think??? Aunty was there when I was born and Kacchan was like, six months old soooo

Emo
sixteen years is crazy

ANGER ISSUES
what can I say??? he’s a leech

Deku
awwww thanks i love you too

ANGER ISSUES changed Deku’s name to ‘Leech’
Leech changed ANGER ISSUES’s name to ‘Host’

Host
You’re disgusting

Leech
I try

The Rock
I wish I had a friend that I was that close to
damn i’m lonely
mina console me
please

Alien Queen
I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

The Rock
DFJONKJSNFKJNBLFNBLKBNLBNB
YOU DID?????

Alien Queen
YEAH I HAD A PSEUDO CRUSH ON YOU AND EVERYTHING

The Rock
BRB CRYING
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO COOL???? AND TO THINK THAT YOU THOUGHT THE SAME BACKKKKKK

Alien Queen
AWWWWWWW BABES

Emo
vomits
sorry I love you both but like
get a room idk

The Rock
Jirou i have some bad news
I’m gay

Emo
oh shit

duct tape
BAHBWWHWHABHHAHAAAAHAA

Emo
SHUT UP SERO

Kirbyknife
aint no way you actually thought kiri was straight
girl….

Emo
AJFNSKJFGNFKGNDFKGN

Alien Queen
Jirou I also have bad news

Emo
please don’t say you’re lesbian

Alien Queen
I’m aroace

Emo
SDNJSONOGFNGFOGNJGKONGJGF
I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S WORSE

MOMo
Wow!!! are we all coming out right now???
I’m lesbian!!!!!

ribbit
same

Emo
y’all…

Kirbyknife
not a lesbian but close enough????
I’m bi

Leech
SAAAMMMMEEE

Kirbyknife
OMG BESTIESSSS

Leech
RAAAGAHHHHHH

Emo
wtf who else here is bi

mini-zawa
I am

Pikachu
MEEEEE!!!!

mini-zawa
wtf when did you get back

Pikachu
long story I’ll tell you later

mini-zawa
aight

Pikachu
anyways bisexual people we should make a special little bisexual chat

Kirbyknife
I’m so down

mini-zawa
oh god

Leech
YAYAYAYY I LOVE GCS

Class Prez
We’re well aware

Leech
damn you didn’t have to hurt me like that

Emo
does this mean I’m officially in an active midoriya gc

Leech
why’d you say it like it’s a whole thing

Emo
because it is
do you even know why we have a quote book in the first place???

Kirbyknife
I KNOW WHY
It’s cause deku is awake at like four am and then he posts the strangest things in gcs

Leech
WHATTT
DO I

Host
DO YOU NOT BACKREAD???

Leech
NOT USUALLY NO???

Host
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????
DEKU
IZUKU
MY BROTHER IN CHRIST

Leech
KSDJFNJSDKNKDFJGN

Edgelord
I didn’t mention it earlier, but I am also bi.

Emo
oh god

Kirbyknife
that’s it
I’m making the chat rn
wish me luck

Pikachu
godsend sister
godsend

ribbit
I’ll make a chat for the lesbians

MOMo
that sounds fun!

The Rock
I’LL MAKE ONE FOR THE GAYS
GAYS SAY SOMETHING

Host
something

The Rock
why do you have to be such a smartass

Twink
I’m gay

Emo
WHAT
YOU’RE JOKING
NO YOU AREN’T

Twink
I’m not joking.

Emo
QUESTIONING MY SANITY
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ANY OF THIS

Alien Queen
girl

Emo
I’M SORRY I JUST ASSUMED HE WAS STRAIGHT
LIKE
TODOROKI GIVES OFF STRAIGHT MAN VIBES

Kirbyknife
is his username not twink???

mini-zawa
when I saw him at the sport’s festival my first thought was “what a gay man”
idk what that says about me as a person but you catch my drift

Emo
I’M GOING TO GO RETHINK MY LIFE
I’LL CATCH YOU ALL LATER

Emo is offline

Chapter Text

-Pretty Committee-

Invisible Girl
nobody ever listens to me. it's like i’m invisible :(

Alien Queen
girl i have bad news for you

Uravity
JSADBKADFBSKD
HAGAKURE

Invisible Girl
LMAAOOOOO SORRY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY

Froppy
It was, dw

Invisible Girl
I’m glad gfldjfgnkjdfgn

Creatii
I’m only slightly confused by this

Uravity
shuddup money machine

Froppy
broke bitch

Uravity
:(
that hurted

Earphone Jack
that is NOT how you spell that word

Alien Queen
did you not get that reference

Earphone Jack
No, I did, I just refuse to give memes of any sort a response
Kaminari rotted my brain

Creatii
But memes are hilarious?

Earphone Jack
you laugh at children falling

Creatii
So do you???

Froppy
I can’t laugh at kids falling because it reminds me of my siblings and then I feel bad

Alien Queen
idk about you guys but if I had siblings and I saw some random kid fall over I would start laughing even harder

Froppy
My siblings are one, three, and five respectively

Alien Queen
less funny

Invisible Girl
important question I just thought of
if we were to pick one of the boys to join the pretty committee who would we pick

Uravity
deku

Earphone Jack
kirishima

Froppy
both

Alien Queen
idk iida maybe??

Froppy
absolutely not
do you know what he would do with that power?

Creatii
What about Todoroki?

Uravity
maybe…

Earphone Jack
No, back up
wdym ‘do you know what Iida would do with that power’
?????

Froppy
one time we gave iida admin in a group chat and he fucking timed everyone out

Uravity
yeah that was funny
he went full on moderator mode
and then he spilled everything said in the chat to his brother and I kind of feel bad for the guy

Alien Queen
okay so maybe not iida

Invisible Girl
so… midoriya, kirishima, or todoroki????

Earphone Jack
todoroki would be too scared to say anything I feel like
and kirishima cannot keep a secret for the life of him so we’d basically be letting bakugou join as well

Uravity
yikes
what about kaminari

Alien Queen
no

Uravity
okay damn

Creatii
No shade to Midoriya, but isn’t he the ‘problem child’ in a class with Bakugou, Mineta (previously), and Kaminari in it???

Froppy
He’s absolutely unhinged but like
he would make a good woman

Uravity
ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED SENTENCE

Froppy
I am not lying and we both know it

Earphone Jack
we aren’t asking them to become women tsu lmaoooo

Froppy
I know that, I’m just saying

Alien Queen
wb shinsou
they’re pretty cool

Creatii
Maybe
I like Shinsou

Uravity
Shinsou can keep a secret
they have my vote

Froppy
have we already ruled out midoriya

Invisible Girl
he has the same problem as kirishima
he tells bakugou EVERYTHING
shinsou’s cool af i wouldn’t mind them being in the pretty committee

Earphone Jack
shinsou’s pretty too so they really fit the bill

Alien Queen
you think shinsou’s pretttyyyy????

Earphone Jack
I can hear you squealing from here
yes, they’re pretty
I have eyes

Uravity
AGREED
SHINSOU IS VERY PRETTY MWAH MWAH

Froppy
^^^ but in a not creepy way

Uravity
fuck youuuuu

Froppy
:)

Creatii
So, does that answer your question, Hagakure?

Invisible Girl
yeah
shinsou honorary pretty committee member

Earphone Jack
their title can be “Master of Manly Affairs”

Uravity
JNFDKJFNKDFN

Froppy
real
I don’t like interacting with men shinsou can do it for me

Alien Queen
GIGGLING THIS IS SO SILLY
wait a damn second if shinsou has a title then why don’t the rest of us

Invisible Girl
girl we do

Alien Queen
???????

Creatii
She’s correct
I’m the “Vault Handler”

Froppy
“Scribe of Secrets”

Uravity
I’m the “Head of Violence”

Earphone Jack
pretty sure mine is “Keeper of Vibes”

Invisible Girl
yup yup
I’m “Gossip Collector”
I thought we told you about this

Alien Queen
NO????
WHAT’S MY TITLE

Froppy
Isn’t it “Secretary of Style”?????

Alien Queen
it doesn’t matter if it was or not because it’s that now

Alien Queen changed their name to ‘Secretary of Style’

Secretary of Style
absolutely bomb title

Froppy
I have been waiting for this moment

Froppy changed their name to ‘Scribe of Secrets’
Scribe of Secrets changed Uravity’s name to ‘Head of Violence’
Scribe of Secrets changed Invisible Girl’s name to ‘Gossip Collector’
Scribe of Secrets changed Creatii’s name to ‘Vault Handler
Scribe of Secrets changed Earphone Jack’s name to ‘Keeper of Vibes’

Scribe of Secrets
yay

Head of Violence
slay

Gossip Collector
Anyways let’s go torment the class

Keeper of Vibes
you know me so well hagakure

Gossip Collector
;)

—

-Class 1-gAy-

Kirbyknife
honorary pretty committee member shinsou…
we want to bestow upon you this title as a token of our appreciation

mini-zawa
what the actual FUCK does that mean

Host
what.

*sparkling*
am I a member of the pretty committee???

ribbit
not yet but we're considering your request

*sparkling*
:DDD

mini-zawa
no hold on
wtf is the pretty committee
why am I an honorary member
what is going on

Pikachu
bro you just got promoted

mini-zawa
??????

MOMo
Can I?

forgotten child
yeah sure

MOMo changed mini-zawa’s name to ‘Master of Manly Affairs’

Master of Manly Affairs
WHAT DOES THIS MEANANNNN

duct tape
JABHSBDJHABS WHAT IS THAT USER LMAOOOOOO

Leech
yoooo congrats shinsou

Master of Manly Affairs
y’all
why am I the only one who knows nothing about this

The Rock
i can’t believe you got into the pretty committee before todoroki did

Twink
I’m not surprised
Shinsou’s very pretty

Master of Manly Affairs
???????

Pikachu
that was kind of gay todoroki

duct tape
I will smite you

Twink
I’m serious
they deserve it

Master of Manly Affairs
look I appreciate whatever this is but what the fuck does it mean

Emo
you’re an honorary member of the girl’s only group chat and your username is your title in that chat
we won’t be adding you though

Master of Manly Affairs
what…
what are the requirements???

MOMo
Well, our first thought was we had to pick someone who wouldn’t snitch about what we talk about in the pretty committee

Emo
which is why midoriya wasn’t chosen

Leech
I WASN’T EVEN PART OF THIS CONVERSATION????

duct tape
I’m assuming another requirement is being pretty

ribbit
yeah
that was the reason shinsou was even brought up in the first place
jirou was like ‘what abt shinsou they’re pretty af’ and we all agreed

Pikachu
damn shinsou

Master of Manly Affairs
I… thank you???

ribbit
yw

Host
can we go back to what we were talking about before now
since you’re all done being weird af

Kirbyknife
sure

Host
YOU CAN’T PUT SUGAR ON EVERYTHING AND THINK IT’S GOOD
IT’S UNETHICAL

Sugar High
YOU’RE UNETHICAL

Host
KYS

Sugar High
I WILL PUT SUGAR IN YOUR BED

Host
I WILL COMMIT A CRIME DO NOT DO THAT

Sugar High
I WILL BAN YOU FROM THE KITCHEN
I LITERALLY HAVE TO EAT SUGAR FOR MY QUIRK

Host
SO YOU’VE SAID
BUT LIKE,.. ON CHICKEN??????? FOOD CRIMES RIGHT THERE

Sugar High
I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT’S DELICIOUS AND YOU SHOULD TRY IT

Host
NO THE FUCK I SHOULDN’T
DIE

Sugar High
HAVE AN OPEN MIND BAKUGOU

Host
YOU’D HAVE TO FORCE FEED ME THAT SHIT

Sugar High
MAYBE I WILL

Pikachu
gay

duct tape
KAMINARI.

Chapter Text

-The M Word-

Manslaughter
If I hear Todoroki say “I have a theory” one more time I’m going to kill somebody

Manipulate
you’re so real for this

Manwhore
I thought we had something Iida

Manslaughter
Yeah
Barely concealed hatred

Mansplain
it’s okay iida I get you

Manipulate
^^^^^

Malewife
but todoroki’s theories are my favourite part of any conversation :(

Fear
You’ve never been rudely awoken by his squeaky ass whiteboard being dragged into the common room at four in the morning because Todoroki “saw you were awake” when in reality you were napping on the couch and did not want to be disturbed

Manipulate
why the fuck were you sleeping on the couch
do you not own a bed in your dorm room????

Fear
changing the subject
you need to calm down iida
we cannot have a repeat of the hosu incident

Manslaughter
YOU need to shut the fuck up

Manwhore
kys

Manslaughter
I’m going feral
Midoriya hold me down

Mansplain
okay :D

Malewife
it’s finally happening

Fear
poor todoroki
he will not be missed

Manipulate
rip tobleroni
again

Manwhore
so totally unrelated and not to instigate Iida or anything
I MAY have a theory

Manslaughter
TODOROKI
SOVNXBLNB
FUCK YOU

Manwhore
:)
me when I ctnsdkgjgslgkhflhkhgkhgghkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Manwhore is offline

Manslaughter
THERE.
HE’S DEAD.
GONE.
fuck yes I needed that

Malewife
LMAOOFFOFOOO

Mansplain
kill me next
please

Manslaughter
You freak of nature

Mansplain
:(

Manipulate
hey iida

Manslaughter
No

Manipulate
should we make you a hitlist

Manslaughter
Yes

Malewife
what a 180
dw iida deku has a hitlist already you guys can share

Mansplain
no the fuck we can’t
these guys are mine
MINE

Manipulate
okay gollum

Mansplain
die

Fear
wait I’m still new to this why does MIDORIYA have a hitlist

Mansplain
I was bullied

Fear
me too but that doesn’t mean I want to kill the fuckers

Mansplain
you were bullied because people thought you were going to kill somebody. I was bullied because nobody would ever suspect I COULD kill somebody
we are not the same

Fear
what the actual fuck is wrong with all of you

Manipulate
midoriya how would you kill someone

Mansplain
depends on the situation
probably painfully

Manslaughter
Knife

Malewife
HELP????

Manipulate
stain core

Manslaughter
Asui Tsuyu i know where you live

Manipulate
I know where i live too you aren’t special

Malewife
tsu
babe

Manipulate
I won’t back down
I’m not afraid to fight a sonic reboot

Manslaughter
You want to fight me right now???? Are we fighting???

Manipulate
common room rn
fists only
first one to give loses

Mansplain
you guys will get in trouble with sensei

Manslaughter
fuck you’re right
Tsu I hate you

Manipulate
I hate you more

Fear
you guys should kiss to relieve tension

Malewife
what the fuck

Manslaughter
Does that even work?

Mansplain
yes

Malewife
I don’t want to know how you know that

Fear
I do
spill

Mansplain
one time when I was eight kacchan was yelling at me and I didn’t want to listen to him yell anymore so I needed to cover his mouth with something and at first I was like… hands???? but kacchan “used” to bite and it hurt so I decided to just kiss him instead and it worked
he didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day

Manipulate
how is that somehow one of the most tame stories you’ve told us about you and Bakugou

Mansplain
once I licked his arm for science reasons and got sent to the er
on an unrelated note Kacchan’s sweat both tastes and smells like caramel. do with that information what you will

Manslaughter
Why am I alive other than just to suffer

Malewife
money

Manipulate
okay mr krabs

Fear
dare I say to torment others?

Manslaughter
I suppose

Manwhore
“I suppose” you 18th century scholar

Malewife
wtf when did you get back

Manwhore
I was lurking

Mansplain
you’re always lurking

Manwhore
thanks for noticing
anyways

Manslaughter
Do you have anything to say to me

Manwhore
perchance

Manipulate
you can’t just say perchance

Malewife
SHUT UP
let him live his life

Manipulate
Don’t tell me to shut up I will fuck you up

Manslaughter
are you going to tell me what it is?

Manwhore
I might have a theory

Manslaughter
YOU MOTHERFUCKER PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING HALF AND HALF TRAUMATISED SHITTY ENDEAVOUR KNOCKOFF
I WILL BURN YOUR BODY

Manwhore
<3

Manslaughter
EAJGHEJAGAEEAJRHOLHE0EGWHYOGHGGLKNSGDSKLNGSDGRJHGOUHOGH

Manslaughter is offline

Mansplain
i think you broke him

Manwhore
as if I care

Manipulate
oh god he’s going off in the main chat

Fear
oh fuck

—

-Class 1-gAy-

Class Prez
Somebody needs to give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill todoroki right now

MOMo
????

boring :)
I am so afraid

The Rock
UH UH UH UH UH
HE’S REALLY NICE

Class Prez
BEEP try again

The Rock
FUCK?????

Pikachu
he’s hot af

Class Prez
I’m straight

The Rock
he’s endeavours son so endeavour would probably put you in jail??? or like??? hurt you???

Class Prez
Worth it

Kirbyknife
IIDA WHY ARE YOU HERE
GO TAKE A SECOND DAMN

Class Prez
GIVE ME A REASON URARAKA
I’M GOING TO HAVE HIS HEAD

twink
BUT I LOVE YOU

Class Prez
IF YOU LOVED ME I WOULDN’T BE LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW
APOLOGISE
YOU GAY FUCK

twink
no
i stand by what i said

Class Prez
ASKJFHSDISGBDOGDSUDBGSLDGJ

duct tape
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING RN
IIDA JUST SAID FUCK

Class Prez
MIDORIYA

Leech
uh
uh
uh
I love him dearly and killing him would make me sad????
also you owe me

Class Prez
Good point
Todoroki, apologise
Or else I will rip your skull off your spine

twink
i’m sorry
for speaking my truth and refusing to back down to threats
fight me, bitch

Class Prez
THAT’S IT. RULES BE DAMNED I’M GOING TO KILL THIS PIECE OF SHIT

Emo
why is iida so angry with todoroki
what happened

ribbit
todoroki don’t say it

Leech
I actually won’t be able to stop him if you keep going shouto

twink
:)

Class Prez
Don’t you fucking dare

twink
I MIGHT have a theory

Class Prez
OASNFALKNGBLBNSBKPBNSLBSNBLKBNLSNB
SOMEONE SEDATE ME
TODOROKI SAY YOUR LAST WORDS

twink
can my last words be “i have a theory” or is that too far

Class Prez
FUCK YOU

Class Prez is offline

twink
bye fuckers
see you in hell
also izuku i wanted to ask you if you coufosjjjjjjjjjjjjjjghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

twink is offline

Leech
welp
I dunno if he’s coming back from that one

ribbit
yup
rip tobleroni for realsies this time

Kirbyknife
may he rest in piece

Master of Manly Affairs
you mean pieces, considering how feral Iida was being just now

ribbit
i wonder if hell has cold soba

Leech
that would imply that cold soba is bad enough to be in hell

ribbit
I said what i said

Host
okay can someone explain what the fuck just happened

Master of Manly Affairs
wdym this happens all the time

Kirbyknife
Iida and Todoroki are working through some differences

ribbit
todoroki’s a little shit, Iida falls for it, and midoriya enables both of them

Leech
Iida’s inability to accept that Todoroki is a conspiracy theorist has nothing to do with my enabling tendencies
don’t involve me when I’m not involved

Kirbyknife
babes you’re always involved

Leech
nuh uh

boring :)
lemme get this straight
Todoroki is a… conspiracy theorist??? and Iida doesn’t like that???

ribbit
todoroki keeps saying “i have a theory” and Iida is going mad

Class Prez
I’m back and with news
I may be in house arrest right now for fistfighting Todoroki

Pikachu
wtf

Class Prez
It was worth it
Midoriya

Leech
no thanks
I’m good this time

Class Prez
I wasn’t offering to beat you up you idiot
Bring me your class notes after school so I can catch up

Leech
oh
sure :D

Host
what

Leech
dw about it

Host
i wasn’t kys

Emo
Does Iida have a hitlist???

ribbit
we’re working on it

The Rock
does this have anything to do with Iida’s murder story

Kirbyknife
perchance

ribbit
how many times do I have to tell you

—

Chapter Text

-League of Trauma-

stabs you
so I might have a terrible horrible no good idea (¬‿¬ )

Bacon Bits
toga it is three in the fucking morning

stabs you
and???
My bestest ideas come at three am!!! (´｡• ω •｡`)

Shiggy
which one of you is in the living room rn playing fucking pokemon
im going feral let me sleep

LIZARD
sorry shigaraki
it’s a fun game

Bi-myself
AGREED

stabs you
(☆ω☆) I love pokemon!!!!
tomu-chan do you play pokemon???

Shiggy
I thought we agreed that you would stop calling me that
I play pokemon sometimes
i like shooter games more though

Bacon Bits
I couldn’t tell

Shiggy
I will remove your staples while your sleeping

Bi-myself
you’re*

Shiggy
fuck you
wait
why the fuck are you all awake
go to bed
let me sleep

LIZARD
I’m not tired though :(

stabs you
yeah (╥_╥) me neither

Chicken Nuggets
I’M ALIVE
HEYYYYY
WASSUP GANG

Bacon Bits
Don’t ever call us ‘Gang’ again
I will use your eyebrows as feather dusters

stabs you
Σ(°△°|||)︴

Chicken Nuggets
bro

Shiggy
WHO THE FUCK IS IN THE KITCHEN?????
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?????

mom
I apologise, Tomura. Himiko asked me to make her apple slices with peanut butter

Shiggy
toga fucking himiko
go to bed

stabs you
BUT I HAVE A COOL IDEA

Bacon Bits
involving peanut butter and apple slices???

stabs you
yeahhh!!!! (* ^ ω ^)
and raisens!!!

Bi-myself
raisins*

stabs you
ooh fancy pants over here correcting my spelling (◔ д◔)

Bi-myself
WHAT???
I COULDN’T JUST LET IT SLIDE???
RAISINS DOESN’T HAVE AN E

that one k-pop group
good morning!!!! I’m awake
fuck all of you for waking me up

Shiggy
^^^^
please i am so tired god

stabs you
It’s okay tomu-chan!!!! you can sleep in tomorrow!!!!! ♡ ～('▽^人)

Bacon Bits
no the fuck he can’t
hawks is cooking breakfast

Chicken Nuggets
wtf is that supposed to mean

Bacon Bits
have you ever heard yourself navigate a kitchen

Chicken Nuggets
?????

that one k-pop group
you burnt the water and set off the fire alarm idiot
it was an honest mistake

mom
Who decided Hawks was in charge of breakfast tomorrow? I heard it was going to be Kenji

stabs you
big sis has a cold ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

mom
Ah, alright. I’ll make sure she’s doing alright this afternoon

LIZARD
we love you kurogiri

mom
I appreciate the sentiment, Shuuichi, but aren’t you already in a relationship?

LIZARD
I LOVE YOU IN A PLATONIC WAY!!!!!!! I DO NOT LOVE YOU THE SAME WAY I LOVE TOMURA

mom
I wasn’t aware there were different types of love
Thank you for informing me

Shiggy
spinner did you just proclaim your love for me in a gc???
WAIT
AM I THE PERSON YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH????

LIZARD
YES???? DID YOU NOT THINK WE WERE DATING?????

Shiggy
…

LIZARD
SHIGARAKI????

Bacon Bits
couldn’t be me

Chicken Nuggets
dabi i am in love with you

Bacon Bits
stop
people will think you’re being serious

Chicken Nuggets
and what if I am???

stabs you
(/////////) dabi-chan rn

Bacon Bits
wait are you being fr???

Chicken Nuggets
toga do you have a flirty kaomoji I can borrow

stabs you
(❤ω❤)
(¬‿¬ )
(｡・//ε//・｡)
σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡
take your pick

Chicken Nuggets
(¬‿¬ ) maybe I am
dinner tomorrow at my place??? I’ll sneak you through the window

Bacon Bits
what the fuck is happening
I’m going to bed

Bacon Bits is offline

Shiggy
PLEASE
PLEASE GO TO BED
HAWKS DON’T YOU HAVE A JOB????

Chicken Nuggets
???? what
OH FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT
GN EVERYONE ILY

that one k-pop group
sleep well!!! or don’t, idc
i do care please sleep well

Chicken Nuggets is offline

that one k-pop group is offline

mom
So, Himiko, what was your cool idea involving apple slices, peanut butter, and raisins?

stabs you
so you know how raisens kinda look like ants

Bi-myself
raisins**

stabs you
STOP ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻
anyways I put peanut butter on the raisens and stuck them to the apple slices so they look like ants in a little ant line

mom
That’s very cute, Himiko

stabs you
(〃￣ω￣〃)

mom
I think it’s a good time for all of us to head to bed now that we’ve had our fun

stabs you
OKAYYYYY
GOOD NIGHT MOM!!!! ♡ ～('▽^人)

mom
Good night, Himiko

Bi-myself
goodnight!
also, toga, it’s raisins

stabs you
I hate you

stabs you is offline

mom
Good night, Atsuhiro

Bi-myself
nighty night kuro!!!

Bi-myself is offline

mom
Good night, Shuuichi. You should turn off your game now, before Tomura gets angry with you

LIZARD
kurogiri am I doomed

mom
I’m unsure of what you’re asking me

LIZARD
that’s fine
gn

LIZARD is offline

mom
Dear lord, these problem children

Shiggy
bro

mom
You’re still online, Tomura?

Shiggy
I was making sure EVERYONE went to bed

mom
That’s very kind of you

Shiggy
i was only doing it so i wouldn’t have to actually go force them

mom
Still.

Shiggy
…right
anyways
goodnight kurogiri

mom
Good night. Sleep well, Tomura

Shiggy
you too

Shiggy is offline

mom is offline

Chapter Text

-Conspiracist Theorists-

Theoryroki
i have a theory

CATspiracy
of course you do
tell me

Theoryroki
Michael afton was the protagonist of fnaf 4

Camera Man
NO HE WASN’T

Theoryroki
??? yes he was

Camera Man
NO IT WAS CHRIS YOU IDIOT
WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE SCARED OF THE ANIMATRONICS????

FACE MAN
did you just call evan chris

Walking Encyclopaedia
I didn’t know the crying child had a canon name

Camera Man
he doesn’t
the fandom calls him chris

FACE MAN
no the fuck we don’t

CATspiracy
both names can be correct
maybe his name is Evan Christopher Afton
like two first names

Theoryroki
quit distracting me
michael was the fnaf 4 protag

Camera Man
NO HE WASN’T
HE LITERALLY WASN’T

Theoryroki
He draws the nightmare animatronics in one of the books though??/ how does he know what they look like if he didn’t have the nightmares

FACE MAN
i always thought both of them had the nightmares

Walking Encyclopaedia
waitwaitwait
how are they having the nightmares??? I’m not well versed in fnaf lore

Theoryroki
william made them hallucinate

FACE MAN
wait if william was making both of them have the nightmares wouldn’t elizabeth get them too

CATspiracy
No, elizabeth died by the time that was happening

Camera Man
didn’t chris die first???

FACE MAN
HIS NAME IS EVAN

Camera Man
IT’S NOT CONFIRMED

FACE MAN
NOTHING IS CONFIRMED

Theoryroki
anyways michael is the fnaf 1,2,3,4,5, and 6 protagonist

Walking Encyclopaedia
I thought some guy named Jeremy was the fnaf 2 protag/??/

Theoryroki
He is, but michael is the person playing the night six shift

FACE MAN
no, jeremy is the fnaf 2 protag
on night six phone guy says that he’ll be on the day shift the next day and we never get anything on michael
where are you getting your information

Theoryroki
i’ll be honest i’m making most of this up on the spot
but you know what I’m not making up??? michael having a mullet

CATspiracy
real

Camera Man
duh of course he had a mullet
here’s the real question: when he got scooped did he or did he not keep his hair

FACE MAN
did not
obviously

Walking Encyclopaedia
if he never washed it or messed with it then he probably kept some of it

Theoryroki
he didn’t have hair on his character sprite so I would assume he did mess with it

FACE MAN
exactly
plus he literally turned purple
it isn’t logical for him to have kept his hair

Camera Man
that makes sense i guess
what about william

FACE MAN
i bet that fucker was bald even before he died

CATspiracy
bro definitely had a receding hairline

Theoryroki
the fanartists would like to have a talk with you

CATspiracy
the fanartists can suck my dick

Walking Encyclopaedia
i wouldn’t beef with an artist if I were you
they can and will draw you pregnant

Camera Man
who do i have a feeling you’ve experienced this first hand

Walking Encyclopaedia
kacchan is a good artist
a very good artist

Theoryroki
:(

CATspiracy
what did you even do to him to deserve that treatment

Walking Encyclopaedia
uuhhhh next question

CATspiracy
midoriya

Walking Encyclopaedia
OKAY OKAY
i may have pushed him off a roof

FACE MAN
you pushed him off a roof so he drew you pregnant???

Walking Encyclopaedia
yes

CATspiracy
what is your life

Walking Encyclopaedia
he has drawn worse

Camera Man
I’m not surprised

Theoryroki
wait why did you push him off a roof
what were you doing on a roof

Walking Encyclopaedia
we were trying to climb this massive tree but we couldn’t get to the branches unless we got onto the roof first
and then the silly won i guess

Camera Man
‘the silly’
you pushed him off a roof

Walking Encyclopaedia
it was payback for him pavlov conditioning me into thinking that every time he screamed there was something flying at my face

CATspiracy
do you think it still works on you

Walking Encyclopaedia
they will never find your body

Theoryroki
you know whose body was found? William Afton

FACE MAN
me whenever anyone says anything relating to any of my interests

Camera Man
real

Walking Encyclopaedia
you guys should teach me more fnaf lore
make it a youtube video

FACE MAN
“We taught our clueless friend FNAF lore”

Theoryroki
i like this idea
shinsou write this down

CATspiracy
already done
it’s on the list now, which means we can’t talk about fnaf lore in front of midoriya until we make the video

Camera Man
remind me what else is on the list rn???

CATspiracy
“Mt. Lady: Gigantification or Shrinking?”
“We Debated on Whether the Moon Was Real or Not”
“Are the U.A Dorms Haunted?”
“Brainrot: The Guide”
and now… “We Taught Our Clueless Friend FNAF Lore”

FACE MAN
the ua dorms are definitely haunted
i swear i saw a ghost last week

Theoryroki
I keep hearing voices in the halls where nobody is
also the moon isn’t real

Walking Encyclopaedia
yes it is shouto
We’ve had this conversation before

Theoryroki
I will never give up on the truth, izuku
you know this

Camera Man
idk man the tides are pretty damning evidence that the moon is real

Theoryroki
government cover up

FACE MAN
how does the government control the tides????

Theoryroki
jirou has earphone jacks coming out of her ears
ashido is PINK
the government controlling the tides is not that far fetched

CATspiracy
you’re giving me grey hairs

Theoryroki
I’ve been told I’m good at that

Camera Man
Me personally I believe the moon is real

Walking Encyclopaedia
that’s generally the opinion people have, yes

FACE MAN
Brainrot the guide is going to go crazy by the way
nobody on the internet knows how much I’ve corrupted Todoroki

Theoryroki
the internet doesn’t need to know everything about me

CATspiracy
with the amount you overshare I was beginning to think you thought the opposite

Theoryroki
It’s not my fault I was never taught what the right amount of personal information was to share with other people

Camera Man
alright traumaroki let’s pack it up

FACE MAN
you shut up you call evan chris

Camera Man
BECAUSE IT’S HIS NAME YOU DINGBAT

FACE MAN
NUH UH

Camera Man
I WILL FIGHT YOU
IRL
RIGHT NOW

FACE MAN
I AM GOING TO GET OUTSIDE OPINIONS
shinsou ask sensei what his name is

CATspiracy
okay…????
give me a second

FACE MAN
god I’m such a genius

Camera Man
You’re an idiot is what you are

FACE MAN
nobody will ever be able to convince me his name isn’t Evan

CATspiracy
My dad said, and I quote, “anyone who calls him chris can catch these hands” and then Hizashi said “fuck yeah” and Eri said “fuck yeah” and then I got in trouble for teaching her bad words

Walking Encyclopaedia
how dare you teach eri the fuck word

Theoryroki
the fuck word

CATspiracy
it wasn’t me
it was kirishima

FACE MAN
FUCK YEAH
EVAN WINS

Camera Man
I’M NOT AFRAID TO FIGHT MY TEACHER
SHINSOU TELL HIM I’M WILLING TO FIGHT HIM RIGHT NOW

CATspiracy
he said no

Camera Man
HE’S A COWARD

FACE MAN
JUST ADMIT YOU SUCK AND THE NAME CHRIS SUCKS AND YOUR OPINIONS SUCK

Camera Man
I’M GOING TO THROW HANDS

FACE MAN
RAHJAGAAHARGHAG

CATspiracy
bro let out his inner wolf

FACE MAN
HUH?????

Walking Encyclopaedia
bros the alpha

Theoryroki
bro needs to protect his pack

FACE MAN
STOP
OR ELSE

Walking Encyclopaedia
‘no more mister nice guy’ ahh

FACE MAN
that’s it
this is my villain origin story

Camera Man
me when they run out of licorice at the convenience store

Theoryroki
ew

Camera Man
fuck you you like sweet tarts

Theoryroki
:(

CATspiracy
dude stop candy shaming

Camera Man
that is NOT a thing

Walking Encyclopaedia
I’m still confused, by the way
Is his name evan or chris?

Chapter Text

-Class 1-gAy-

Disney Princess
lived up to my name today

The Rock
you’re always living up to your name

Disney Princess
yeah but this was a special instance
there was a bird and I called out to the bird and the bird RESPONDED in PERFECT JAPANESE and we had a conversation and it was scary
anyways moral of the story is my quirk works on quirked animals

Alien Queen
omg???? that’s so cool

Disney Princess
it’s scary

duct tape
does that mean your quirk could work on principal nedzu

boring :)
please do not ask that question ever again

Leech
I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION

Disney Princess
how?
i didn’t even figure out my quirk could do that until today

Leech
I have my ways
ANYWAYS THE ANSWER IS YES!!!! nedzu would be mad though and he is very scary when he’s mad

Emo
I hate when you just have information

Leech
what

Emo
Like, you have knowledge on the most random things and it’s always so out of pocket when you reveal them

Edgelord
Jirou is correct. How do you know the things you know

Leech
i have adhd and I used to have a lot of free time

Host
back when you didn’t have any friends

Leech
man!!! i wonder why!!! i have so many friends now so why was i unlikable in junior high!!!

Pikachu
I felt the sarcasm in that
also where’s shinsou I’ve been looking for them for like twenty minutes and they are MISSING

Master of Manly Affairs
uh
help

Pikachu
ask and you shall receive i guess
i wish i had one billion dollars

Host
you didn’t ask that in a question format idiot

Pikachu
SHUT UP LET ME LIVE MY LIFE

Host
WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC

Pikachu
YOU’RE ONE TO TALK

Host
I’M IN YOUR WALLS

Master of Manly Affairs
i still need help
kirishima you hate monoma right
like you hate him hate him

The Rock
oh my god i fucking hate monoma raoajorhoahalrkr
the things i would do to him if i had the power

Master of Manly Affairs
okay great will you come fight him because he won’t leave me alone and it’s freaking me out
also kouda congrats on discovering you are the biggest threat to principal nedzu and you should be feared

Disney Princess
um

The Rock
I WOULD LOVE TO FIGHT MONOMA
SHINSOU KEEP ME FROM GETTING DETENTION

Master of Manly Affairs
I will make no promises but trust that I will give my best efforts

The Rock
GOOD ENOUGH
BRB GONNA GO BEAT A KID

The Rock is offline

MOMo
This feels like a very bad decision.

Master of Manly Affairs
your mother

MOMo
How dare you insult my mother

Emo
YOUR MOTHER

Master of Manly Affairs
Jirou i know you love your girlfriend but just so you know I have two dads

Emo
YOUR BIO MOTHER

Master of Manly Affairs
fuck, got me there /sarcasm

Emo
Keep Yourself Safe

MOMo
Kyouka

Emo
sorry

Kirbyknife
OOOO SHE GOT FOLDED

Emo
SHUT UP OCHAKO

Kirbyknife
sips my strawberry iced tea

Leech
yw for that btw

Kirbyknife
omg yes thank you babes

Leech
it’s good right

Kirbyknife
I’m going to take himiko and tsu there later :))))

Twink
can I come

Kirbyknife
what

Twink
and can touya come

ribbit
no and no

Twink
but :(

ribbit
stop trying to tag along on our dates

Twink
I just want to see my brother is that so much to ask

Host
doesn’t your other brother visit him like every other fucking day??? just go with him

Kirbyknife
awww are you trying to be nice to me bakugouuuu

Host
I WILL KILL YOU PINK CHEEKS
BACK OFF

Twink
Natsuo doesn’t let me go with him because he calls me a liability

Pikachu
you ARE a liability

Twink
what why

Pikachu
dude we cannot take you anywhere it’s like taking a very curious dog places without a leash

Twink
give me one example of that claim

Edgelord
Last time I took you to the mall, you got lost within three minutes. We hadn’t even entered the first store. It took me several hours to find you and when I finally did you were hiding in the back of the Claire’s looking at the headbands

Twink
I was pulled there by the sounds of childlike wonder

Host
How do YOU know what childlike wonder sounds like

Twink
damn

Emo
BWAHAHHAHA

Leech
me personally I wouldn’t take that kind of disrespect

Host
shut up

Leech
okay :(

Twink
moving on
the claire’s thing was a one off
give me another example

duct tape
I took you to watch Jurassic Park and somehow you got into the theatre showing Lion King because you followed some guy that was wearing the same shirt as I was
his hair was PINK

Emo
I lost you in a hot topic and found you at the food court eating pretzels with a stranger

ribbit
last time I played hide-and-seek with you we couldn’t find you for four hours

Twink
that one was your fault. I thought you were trying to goad me into leaving my spot

ribbit
okay yes maybe we should’ve explained the concept of crying uncle but tbf I have never met a person who didn’t know how to play before you

Host
I lost you in my own house

Twinkv
I was in a closet

Host
I know that. The point is I’ve lived in that house my entire life and you somehow found a place that I’d never seen before within the first forty minutes you were there

Twink
your mom knew about the closet

Host
counterpoint irrelevant my mom knows everything

Kirbyknife
mama’s boy

Host
I will fucking end you

Leech
I can confirm he is a mama’s boy

Host
die
die
die
die
die
die

Emo
OKAYYYYYY we get it

The Rock is online

The Rock
hey shinsou it’s time for you to use your nepo baby powers and get me out of trouble
btw mina I know you know how to wash blood out of clothes can you come help me with that pretty please

Alien Queen
oh god
okay omw

Master of Manly Affairs
On it

Master of Manly Affairs is offline

The Rock
anyways what were we talking about

Edgelord
How we can’t let Todoroki out of the dorms unless he’s being watched very carefully because he keeps getting lost

The Rock
oh yeah that’s a reccuring issue
we should put you on a leash todoroki

Twink
oh.

duct tape
please don’t say that’s a trauma thing we just unearthed
please roki

Twink
Touya was leashed when he was very young but only when my family went to big, open spaces like parks, so no, it’s not a trauma thing

The Rock
thank GOD
we should leash you then

Twink
please do not do that

forgotten child
omg aoyama help me bedazzle todoroki’s leash

*sparkling*
Sure!!!! Let’s do it!!!

Twink
oh my god

Pikachu
fun fact I was a leash kid

Emo
you look like you were a leash kid

Pikachu
oh fuck youuuu

Leech
kacchan was a leash kid!!!!

Host
SHUT UP
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT

Leech
we literally grew up together

Twink
bakugou would be a leash kid

Host
why the fuck would you say that

Twink
just stating the obvious

Kirbyknife
YOU WOULD BE LEASHED BAKUGOU HAHAHAAHAH

ribbit
girl you don’t get to talk

Kirbyknife
I was leashed so that I wouldn’t accidentally float away
bakugou was leashed because he probably had rabies or smth
we are not the same

ribbit
fair

Host
I DON’T HAVE RABIES

The Rock
you don’t ANYMORE
you were cured before you got into U.A

Class Prez
I hate to admit that I, too, was leashed as a child, but not because of behavioural issues

boring :)
why is everyone in this class a leash kid
midoriya is that a statistic

Leech
did you seriously just ask me if being a leash kid was synonymous to getting accepted into U.A and becoming a top hero

MOMo
It’s a fair question at this point

duct tape
midoriya you should ask all might if he was a leash kid

Leech
i will not be doing that

Host
I will

Leech
no, no you won’t

Host
Yes, I will. I ain’t afraid of some guy

Emo
‘some guy’ is literally all might

Pikachu
somebody sedate him damn

Twink
did you just say ain’t unironically

Host
All of you shut up. let me get my answer
he said yes

Leech
oh my god

The Rock
KAWBKAJBFKJSDBGKGJBKSJBGKG

boring :)
Midoriya, is it a statistic??????

Leech
I GUESS SO???? I’LL DO SOME RESEARCH I GUESS

duct tape
ROKI ASK YOUR DAD IF HE WAS A LEASH KID

Twink
i don’t want to talk to my dad

Host
I’ll do it

Twink
thank you so much i love you

Host
shuddup

Pikachu
wait why are you offering to do something for todoroki of all people
no offence to todoroki of course but don’t you hate him

Host
Yes, BUT
The urge to ask really famous people embarrassing questions trumps that hatred

ribbit
you’re so real for that

Host
I’ll do it tomorrow since it’ll be a saturday

Master of Manly Affairs is Online

Master of Manly Affairs
dude i am so sorry

The Rock
that’s not what I wanted to hear

Master of Manly Affairs
You’ve been summoned to his office
sorry
I promise I tried my best

ribbit
let’s hold a funeral for kirishima
we will be missed by many

Kirbyknife
sniff
it’s almost like it was ten seconds ago when he was still here

Pikachu
I’ll miss u bro

Alien Queen
midoriya please tell me you know how to bury someone

Leech
I do, why

Emo
see? this is what I mean

Chapter Text

-Class 1-gAy-

Host
Zuko where is Endeavour

Twink
why do you insist on calling me that
I don’t get that reference

Host
WHERE IS HE

Twink
He’s at his agency

Host
brb gonna go hunt down endeavour

MOMo
You’re going to get put on the news if you keep this up, Bakugou

Host
It’s not the first time that’s happened

Edgelord
Nobody is surprised by this information.

Pikachu
midoriya when was the first time kacchan got on the news

Host
stop calling me that

Leech
he was like
eight??? probably
he beat up a criminal posing as a pro hero so he got in a lot of trouble since they didn’t know it was a villain

Host
not my fault the guy was going to rob some weak ass kids

ribbit
i expected this self sacrificing attitude from midoriya, not you

Leech
WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYYYSSSSS
stop making fun of me :(

Host
everyone make fun of deku
NOW

Pikachu
only if we get to make fun of you next

Host
fine idc just DO IT

The Rock
damn okay
midoriya I thought you had a perm when i first met you

Leech
why was that the first conclusion you came to
why would I have a perm

The Rock
I DUNNO I JUST
WEKJNSKJGN

KirbyKnife
the first time we met I thought you genuinely couldn’t speak because you didn’t answer me when I asked if you were alright

Leech
huh
i did answer you

KirbyKnife
no tf you didn’t????

Leech
oh my god I imagined responding to you

Emo
LMFAOOOOO
midoriya your cheery attitude pisses me off
does it hurt to be realistic every once and a while

Leech
that one actually hurted a bit
also, i am realistic 1000000% of the time

Twink
that was a good joke

Leech
I wasn’t
joking

Alien Queen
DKFNSDLFKNSLDFKN

Pikachu
mido i know you said your first costume was made by your mom but it was UUUUUUUGLYYYYY

forgotten child
i thought you were imitating a rabbit

Class Prez
He isn’t?

Leech
NO??????
someone kill me

Host
i can do that after I finish up with endeavour

Twink
is it bakugou’s turn to be insulted because I’ve been saving a few

KirbyKnife
HELP???

The Rock
do it

Twink
Bakugou, you sound like a fucking rabid dog whenever you yell and it hurts my ears. shut the fuck up. Your hero costume is impractical and looks like it was designed by a six year old, and I know I can’t really make fun of it considering my first costume, but from ugly to uglier, you need an upgrade. Also, what the fuck is up with your toothbrush? It looks more abused than me
ps your hero name sucks, get one that’s shorter

Host
DIE

Twink
unoriginal, pick a new comeback

Host
FUCKKKK YOU YOU’RE LUCKY I’M AT YOUR DAD’S STUPID FUCKING AGENCY
WHERE IS HE

Pikachu
bro’s throwing open the doors like he owns the damn place

The Rock
“I HAVE ARRIVED” ahh

Host
SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR
HE’S NOT AT THE AGENCY
TODOROKI

Twink
???? he’s probably at the house then

Host
UGGHHHHHHHH
I’m going to find your house

ribbit
can you even do that

Host
of course I can, I’m not stupid like deku

Leech
I LITERALLY TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THAT

Host
SHUT UP YOU WASTE OF SPACE
i found your address
eta 3 minutes

Twink
a car takes 29 minutes to get from the agency to the house, how the hell are you going to get there in 3?

Host
trust the process

MOMo
Please don’t break any laws

Host
no promises
I see your house and your dad
he’s inside
wait wtf is that your sister

Twink
probably? who else would it be

Host
what’s up with her
she looks different

Twink
????

Host
oh fuck that’s your mom

Twink
what

duct tape
ROKI’S MOM????

Pikachu
pictures or it didn’t happen

Twink
what
what
what
what

Host
fuck endeavour caught me
fuck your siblings remembers me
FUCK YOUR MOM KNOWS WHO I AM
WHY DOES YOUR MOM KNOW WHO I AM

Twink
I talk about you

Host
?????

Pikachu
gay asf

duct tape
kaminari I swear to god

Twink
am I not supposed to talk about my friends with my parents? Izuku said he talks about us all the time

Host
WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. SHUT UP.
oh my god she invited me over for dinner
what do i do

Twink
accept
please

Host
she’s really fuckin sweet what the hell

Kirbyknife
I’m watching this like it’s a sitcom

Host
Oh my god halfnhalf get me away from your family wtf

Twink
no. eat dinner with my mom.

Host
DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
I DON’T WANT TO EAT DINNER WITH YOUR FUCKING MOM

Twink
Bakugou. do it.

Host
NO I DON’T WANT TO
She’s dragging me by the arm into Hell

duct tape
roki can I please eat dinner with your mom sometime

Twink
sure??

Host
i hate this fucking house
it reminds me of your room

Kirbyknife
how do you know what todoroki’s room looks like

Twink
Bakugou tends to throw himself onto my floor when he’s upset about things.

Host
wait now’s my chance to ask about the leash kid thing

Pikachu
holy shit you’re still going through with that? in front of his wife?

Host
AJAAJHAJAHAJAH HE JUST STARED AT ME AND DIDN’T ANSWER LMAOOOOOO

Twink
in front of my mom??? seriously????

Host
HELP YOUR BROTHER WINKED AT ME
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

Twink
he’s confirmed our theory
midoriya, write it down

Leech
oh my god
okay

boring :)
are you kidding me? is this actually happening?

ribbit
new pro hero lore just dropped, you’re more likely to be successful if you were a leash kid

*sparkling*
tokoyami I may have a request
can you get in touch with hawks pretty please

Edgelord
Fine. I will ask Hawks if he was a leash kid.
You owe me for this, Aoyama.

*sparking*
of course!!!!

—

-Birbs-

Baby Birb
Hawks, I have a question.

Big Birb
shoot

Baby Birb
Well, some of my class has been running an experiment where they’re asking a lot of top heroes the same question in an attempt to see if there’s a correlation behind it, so.
I cannot believe I am about to ask you this.
Hawks, were you put on a leash in an attempt to curb excitable behaviours as a child?

Big Birb
whar
are you asking me fi im a leash jid???
kid*

Baby Birb
Yes, I suppose I am.

Big Birb
uh well
in a sense? I was put on a leash but maybe not the reason syoure thinkgin of

Baby Birb
What’s that supposed to mean?

Big Birb
ill tell you when youre not sictenn
sixtenen*
sixtenn*
ssixten**
SISXTNE*
holy shit
SIXTEEN***
jesus chrsist

Baby Birb
Uh.
Thank you for answering my question honestly, Hawks.

Big Birb
no proplemo chickadee
btw what does being a leash kid have to do with popularity as ahero??

Baby Birb
We’re trying to figure that out now, actually. If you happen to have any insight or overhear any other heroes mentioning being leash children, I would appreciate it if you let me know.

Big Birb
yeah sure
spekaing of which
rumi’s a leash kid

Baby Birb
Rumi?

Big Birb
oh
miruko

Baby Birb
I’ll be honest, I can see it. Thank you.

Big Birb
anytime!!!! come visit my agency sometime soon, alright? I haven’t seen you in person since forever

Baby Birb
I’ll try to make a trip later this week.

Big Birb
sounds like a plan
i should probably get back to work
good luck with your experiment!!!!

Baby Birb
I’ll let you know once we have conclusive results. Stay safe, Hawks.

Big Birb
you too chikadee

—

-Class 1-gAy-

Edgelord
Hawks has confirmed that both he and Miruko were put on leashes as children.
He also said that he’ll ask around and let me know if he figures out about anyone else.

duct tape
this is absolutely wild wtf

Leech
dear god

Pikachu
shinsou, crazy idea

Master of Manly Affairs
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
NO. NOPE. NO THANK YOU.

Pikachu
PLEEEAASSSEEEEEEEEE
I WILL DO LITERALLY ANYTHING

Master of Manly Affairs
anything?

Pikachu
anything legal
please

Master of Manly Affairs
fine.

—

-Yamazawa-

Cat child
this is about to be the dumbest thing I have ever asked either of you ever. please do not make fun of me

Yelling dad
We won’t make fun of you!!!!

Sleeping dad
Speak for yourself. I might make fun of you.

Cat child
wow that’s so reassuring

Sleeping dad
You’re welcome.

Cat child
okay
were either of you leash kids growing up

Sleeping dad
I am making so much fun of you.
What made you even think of that scenario?

Cat child
blame midoriya
and bakugou
and by association todoroki because he started it

Yelling dad
Why am I not surprised by that??

Sleeping dad
For your information, Hitoshi, I was not a leash kid. even if I were, it would be to get me to go places, not stop me from going.

Yelling dad
Now I’m imagining you being dragged along the floor as a baby
cute asf!!!

Sleeping dad
You shut up.

Yelling dad
Hate to break it to you, Toshi
I was a leash kid :(

Sleeping dad
I can see that.

Yelling dad
Wow, thanks husband. Really feeling the love right now

Sleeping dad
You’re welcome.

Cat child
well then
thanks i guess

Sleeping dad
Are you not going to tell us what any of this means or why you’re doing it?

Cat child
just assign an essay that can be about anything and watch the midoriya magic unfold

Sleeping dad
Fair enough.

Cat child
okay love you bye

Yelling dad
Love you!!!!! See you later!!!

Sleeping dad
Don’t die or let anyone else die.

Cat child
yessir

—

-Class 1-gAy-

Master of Manly Affairs
I have crazy news

Leech
AUGGGHHHHHH
YOU’RE JOKING

Master of Manly Affairs
dad was not a leash kid but hizashi was

Alien Queen
present mic, right???

Master of Manly Affairs
correct

KirbyKnife
wow deku you should probably get started on a spreadsheet or something

Leech
SOMEONE KILL ME

Chapter Text

-World’s Biggest Idiot Sandwich-

Hemmingyay
guys if I eat a glowstick do you think I would glow in the dark

Raccoon Eyes
80% sure u would just get poisoned but try it anyway

Shitty Hair
record it
for me bro

Hemmingyay
bro, I gotchu

Shitty Hair
bro… (with rizz)

Earphones
EUGHGH
SOMEONE HELP
SAFE ME

Scotch
save*

Earphones
SHUT UP

Scotch
well damn

Kacchan
ALL OF YOU SHUT UP I’M WORKING

Hemmingyay
you have a job??????

Shitty Hair
who tf would hire you?

Scotch
bro’s got to have a service voice

Raccoon Eyes
yes sir, I’m great with customers. I can control myself in the face of idiocy.
-bakugou lying during his job interview

Kacchan
I DON’T HAVE A JOB IDIOTS I MEANT I WAS DOING HOMEWORK

Shitty Hair
…we have homework???

Kacchan
Kirishima.

Shitty Hair
I’M SORRY!!!!!!!! I MUST’VE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION OR SUM

Scotch
dude we’re all cooked….

Kacchan
I’m genuinely confused on how you’ve made it this far

Raccoon Eyes
good looks and a flashy quirk unfortunately
how did u even remember the homework anyway? I asked iida about it and he said even he forgot we had it

Kacchan
idfk you just remember
How do you forget stuff???? that’s stupid asf

Scotch
???? people forget things all the time

Kacchan
Not me
The only reason I don’t have memories from before I was three is because my brain wasn’t developed enough to remember ANYTHING then

Hemmingyay
bro what
what’s your earliest memory????

Kacchan
deku’s third birthday. He had an all might cake and when I played with him he bit my arm like a wild animal

Shitty Hair
do you have a photographic memory or smth because what

Earphones
me when I enter a good memory competition and my opponent is bakugou katsuki

Kacchan
MY MEMORY ISN’T EVEN THE MOST IMPRESSIVE THING ABOUT ME!!!!!?!?!!?!? WHY ARE YOU ALL SO SUPRISED I KNOW SHIT

Hemmingyay
my first memory was when I was eight

Raccoon Eyes
two ends of a spectrum
I was five when my braincells finally activated!!!!

Shitty Hair
my first memory is when my ma kissed my mom in front of government officials when I was like, six

Scotch
are you going to explain that or…

Shitty Hair
okay so basically my ma works with the government sometimes (idk her job but whatever) and there were a couple of politicians who hated gay ppl or smth that worked with her and made comments abt lesbians being attention seekers??? idk I wasn’t there but ma brought mom and i to an event where they kissed in front of the homophobic politicians and I was kind of just there… y’know, gaining sentience

Hemmingyay
that’s such a metal first memory

Shitty Hair
blushes

Kacchan
What the fuck.

Shitty Hair
//////

Kacchan
STOP

Shitty Hair
heh, thanks for the compliment…wow, I’m pretty bad at accepting things like that, huh? guess I’m just a bit of a weirdo… *my ruby orbs stare into your soul*

Kacchan
I’M GOING TO TWEAK
FUCK YOU.

Raccoon Eyes
woah I used to say stuff like that
during my emo phase

Earphones
okay but were you actually emo or were you just weird

Raccoon Eyes
both??? idk
i wore black eyeshadow and hoodies and silver bracelets and pins that said stuff like ‘nobody gets me’ or ‘you don’t want to find out what i’m hiding’

Scotch
ngl I could see you wearing pins like that now

Raccoon Eyes
…
is that a compliment?

Scotch
If you want it to be

Raccoon Eyes
:) thx sero u’re soooo nice

Kacchan
I’m going to claw my eyes out
Why do you type like that

Raccoon Eyes
why do YOU type like u’re writing a formal essay

Kacchan
If my typing is what your formal essays look like we might need to have a conversation

Scotch
bakugou translator: he’s going to beat you up

Raccoon Eyes
yeah i gathered

Hemmingyay
i never left my emo phase
it just kind of shifted a lil bit

Earphones
real

Shitty Hair
does a depression phase count as an emo phase

Scotch
mayhaps

Hemmingyay
everytime you say mayhaps I lose a braincell

Kacchan
Surprising that there’s anything there to lose

Hemmingyay
wow thank you kacchan

Kacchan
Don’t call me that

Earphones
kirishima you okay or smth??

Shitty Hair
yeah!!!! just fine
now

Raccoon Eyes
he hated himself in middle school lol

Shitty Hair
bro you didn’t have to put me on blast like that

Kacchan
Only idiots hate themselves

Scotch
bakugou translator: he’s happy you’re doing better now

Kacchan
STOP FUCKING TRANSLATING ME
I AM SAYING EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO SAY AT ALL TIMES

Scotch
Bakugou translator: angry

Earphones
he’s always angry
like a rabid dog

Hemmingyay
he’s an evil little fluffy dog named fucking ‘foofoo’ or smth

Kacchan
WHAT????

Scotch
one of my sisters named her hamster foofoo

Raccoon Eyes
omg i forgot u had siblings
how many do you have again???

Scotch
one older brother and three younger sisters

Shitty Hair
i always wanted siblings :(((

Hemmingyay
what are their names???

Scotch
my brother’s name is kyou, my twin sisters are mana and jun, and my baby sister’s name is kaede

Raccoon Eyes
cuties
you should introduce them to us sometime!!!!

Shitty Hair
YEAHH!!1 i want to be the first of your classmates to meet your siblings!!!!!

Scotch
yeah no you’d be the second lol

Shitty Hair
what.

Scotch
roki got to meet them first
he was very befuddled by the happy sibling dynamic

Shitty Hair
oh. nice. good for him. I’m not seething with rage or anything.

Hemmingyay
you should insult him publicly

Shitty Hair
you are so fucking right

Hemmingyay
hell yeah I am

Earphones
oh no

—

-Class 1-gAy-

boring :)
one of these days I’m going to lose it and it will be kaminari’s fault.
just letting you all know

MOMo
Oh dear.

The Rock
TODOROKI SHOUTO.
I KNOW YOU’RE HERE.
I HAVE SOME WORDS FOR YOU.

Leech
uh oh

duct tape
ROKI RUN

The Rock
NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T
TODOROKI

Twink
yes?

The Rock
WHY WOULD YOU STEAL THIS OPPORTUNITY FROM ME
YOU COULD’VE WAITED
YOU COULD’VE LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING
BUT NOOOOO YOU HAD TO GO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME

Twink
?????

Pikachu
he’s mad bc you met sero’s siblings before he did

Twink
oh
they were nice

The Rock
RAAHAHAGHAGHRGAHAGRHARGRHRGRHRG

KirbyKnife
SOMEONE GET RABIES SHOTS HE’S GOING FERAL

duct tape
gang if i knew this would be that big of a deal I would’ve had both of you introduced at once

Edgelord
I believe Kirishima is exaggerating his displeasure.

The Rock
NO I’M NOT
I’M FR CRYING
SOBBING LOUDLY IN A CORNER

Host
STOP WITH THE THIRD PERSON NARRATOR SHIT
I’M DONE WITH YOU

Emo
WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING

Pikachu
ACTUALLY WE’RE JUST TYPING IN CAPS LOCK

Emo
SHUT UP

Master of Manly Affairs
erm actually!! -you just then

Pikachu
I am putting approximately 34 goldfish in your bed

Master of Manly Affairs
like, alive ones or…

Pikachu
NO NOT ALIVE ONES YOU DUMBASS I MEANT THE CRACKER

ribbit
did you just call goldfish crackers

Pikachu
that’s literally what they are????

ribbit
they’re chips

Pikachu
NO?????

Emo
kaminari, they’re chips

Pikachu
NO THEY AREN’T
STOP HAVING SHITTY OPINIONS

Emo
YOU CANNOT TELL ME YOU LOOK AT A GOLDFISH AND THINK
yeah that’s a cracker

Master of Manly Affairs
this is the evan vs. chris debate all over again

Leech
oh god

Chapter Text

-Class 1-gAy-

Mystique
jus warning u guys, I changed EVERYONE’S usernames to what they’ll be dressed up for halloween as :p

Morticia Addams
you’re a real one for this

Mystique
:DD

Gomez Addams
what’s that i see??? my beautiful wife morticia

Morticia Addams
I will gut you

Gomez Addams
true love right there

Ghost
yippee halloween

Witch
REAL!!!

Ghost
!!!!

Werewolf
God help me.

Crimson Riot
YOU’RE DRESSING UP???

Gomez Addams
WHAT.

Spiderman
no way

The Invisible Man
LIKE IN TWILIGHT????

Werewolf
NO NOT LIKE IN TWILIGHT
DAMNIT

Mystique
trust me, i was weirded out too

Werewolf
I get in trouble if I don’t send my dad pictures of me trick or treating every year, which is the ONLY reason I still dress up.

Naveen
does your mom, like, kill you or smth if you don’t

Werewolf
No???? Didn’t I just say I send them to my dad???

Ghost
do you still send him photos of me too

Werewolf
Of course I do
What do you think I am??? Stupid???

Eraserhead
i think you’re pretty stupid but that might just be me

Morticia Addams
are you fr going as your dad

Eraserhead
yeah lol
Hizashi and I thought it would be funny

Spiderman
he was right this is very funny

Sailor Moon
are you all going to take pictures of my costume???? i’m very proud of it this year!!!!!

Ghost
HELL YEAH I AM!!!!! I LOVE SAILOR MOON

Mystique
ooooo aoyama!!!!!
you, me, jirou, yaomomo, and kouda NEEEEEDDD to take a ‘bad bitch’ photo frfr

Chappell Roan
Ah, that’s sweet!!!

Morticia Addams
YOU’RE GOING AS CHAPPELL ROAN???
i think i just fell in love

Gomez Addams
bro, are you cheating on me???

Morticia Addams
if gomez, my husband, keeps calling me bro, then I might be

Gomez Addams
dude

Morticia Addams
not better

Cinderella
why would I be in a photo with that kind of theme??

Mystique
cuz you’re going as the queen of small feet, the glorious gorgeous baddie Cinderella

Cinderella
:)))))

Spiderman
is there anyone else who’s going as an mcu character????
other than mina

Mystique
no,,,,,, just me

Spiderman
we need to take a duo photo fr

Mystique
yesssss

Black Doom
I feel my costume is a bit out of place.

Gomez Addams
HEY SHADOW, IT’S ME, THE DEVIL
I’M HERE TO CONVINCE YOU TO DO SIN!!!!

Morticia Addams
NEW SIN IDEA: ADULTERY

Crimson Riot
THIS GUN ISN’T VERY EDGY AURHAUHRARKRJHRRJRHARUGRJRARGRRK

Vampire
…something just happened.

Gomez Addams
LMAOOOOO I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WATCHED SNAPCUBE

Vampire
i was feeling out of the loop

Werewolf
You’re always out of the loop

Vampire
are you sure you aren’t going as a twilight character?

Werewolf
ARURHUARHRUARGUARHRARUH

Ghost
gawg

Witch
what???

Ghost
what
OH
I MEAN DAWG

Naveen
gawg

Spiderman
gawg

Ghost
no

Morticia Addams
gawg

Eraserhead
gawg

The Invisible Man
gawg

Ghost
STOP

Werewolf
gawg

Gomez Addams
gawg

Davy Jones
gawg

Crimson Riot
hawg
FUCK I MESSED UP

Werewolf
hawg

Crimson Riot
LEAVE ME ALONE
I DIDN’T MEAN TO

Ghost
lol

Crimson Riot
GAWG

Ghost
dawg why are you on friendly fire

Eraserhead
do you mean gawg
or hawg

Ghost
SHUTUP

Crimson Riot
IT WAS A MISTAKE

Spiderman
yo denki
isn’t it nice to not be the laughing stock of the class

Gomez Addams
yeag

Spiderman
…

Mystique
you had one job

Naveen
yeag

Sailor Moon
YEAG

Witch
yeag

Frankenstein’s Monster
What a productive conversation.

Chappell Roan
I know, right? Incredible.

Werewolf
JOIN IN

Chappell Roan
No thank you!

Werewolf
PUSSY

Morticia Addams
DON’T CALL HER A PUSSY YOU’RE SCARED OF YOUR DAD

Werewolf
YOU WOULD BE TOO IF YOU MET HIM

Ghost
yeah, scared of how someone like you could come from a guy like that

Werewolf
You aren’t allowed to make fun of me
Not when you’ve met my dad

Ghost
i am definitely allowed to make fun of you bc I’m scared of your dad too

Crimson Riot
i like your dad
he’s nice

Werewolf
Until you make him mad
My mom’s all bark and no bite

Ghost
uncle masaru is the scary one real

Werewolf
real

Vampire
how terrifying must a man be to make bakugou and izuku agree on something

Spiderman
the world should hope to never know

Black Doom
Wise words.

Mystique
…anyways
todo i saw you were making fun of bakugou for being a twilight character but aren’t you going as a vampire

Vampire
not as a twilight vampire

Werewolf
sure
You keep telling yourself that.

Vampire
I haven’t even seen twilight
i didn’t know werewolves were even in it

Willy Wonka
why were you making fun of bakugou then???

Vampire
I never pass up a chance to make fun of bakugou
it would be like ignoring a chance to win the lottery

Frankenstein’s Monster
Please do not promote gambling

Gomez Addams
you know what they say about gambling
90% of gamblers quit right before they win

Frankenstein’s Monster
That. That is not true.

Gomez Addams
back me up ojiro

Karate Kid
what
why me

Gomez Addams
just do it

Karate Kid
i don’t know anything about gambling

Gomez Addams
damn

Eraserhead
it’s true, iida
are you denying the truth because you lost a lot of money to gambling before???

Frankenstein’s Monster
No, I have never been gambling!!

Morticia Addams
hmmmm idk,,,,

Witch
iida you are such a liar

Frankenstein’s Monster
I am not lying!

Davy Jones
I know how to cheat in gambling

Crimson Riot
and this is why card games are banned during game night everyone

Davy Jones
Just because I know how doesn’t mean I choose to

Eraserhead
me personally if I knew how to cheat without getting caught I would do it constantly

Naveen
wow, you’re such a good person
/sar

Eraserhead
i know right
i’m such a fair player

Davy jones
Don’t cheat just to cheat. You have to wait until you’re already winning to do it so it doesn’t look suspicious

Eraserhead
shouji you are a genius
teach me your ways

Davy Jones
that might be difficult considering you don’t have six arms and a bunch of retractable eyes

Eraserhead
oh

Witch
this is why quirk use during game nights should be prohibited
then we can play card games

Naveen
aren’t you just going to cheat anyways???

Witch
it’s not my fault my mom taught me how to win any game using a deck of cards

Ghost
go fish hasn’t been fun in months

Witch
go fish is too easy to win
you just have to lie a little

Gomez Addams
literally the point of go fish is the honour system

Witch
good thing I don’t care :))))

Frankenstein’s Monster
Of course you don’t.

Witch
WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Naveen
we all know what it’s supposed to mean

Witch
:0
rude

Sailor Moon
I love go fish!!!!!! midoriya, you should play with me sometime!!!!

Ghost
i would love to!!!!!

Werewolf
Don’t. He’ll scam you worse than pink cheeks ever could

Ghost
HEY NOW!!!

Morticia Addams
no way midoriya’s a better scammer than uraraka

Werewolf
He isn’t in general
But go fish?
You should’ve seen him in elementary

Ghost
it’s not my fault the other kids were gullible and rich
i scammed you once

Werewolf
no you didn’t

Ghost
yuh huh
in the second grade I convinced you to play go fish with me and you bet like 2000 yen and I cheated and won but you didn’t notice

Werewolf
didn’t I fucking blow your face up for that

Ghost
it was 2000 yen and I was eight so it was worth it
2000 yen kacchan

Witch
real
hey bakugou do you want to bet 2000 yen on go fish with me :D

Werewolf
Watch yourself, pinky.

Chapter Text

-Class 1-gAy-

Twink
fun fact strawberries aren’t berries

KirbyKnife
that is NAWT a fun fact :(

Twink
another fun fact i’m allergic to strawberries

Class Prez
I saw you eating strawberries yesterday?

Twink
yeah

Class Prez
???

duct tape
roki please don’t tell me you eat strawberries even though you’re allergic to them

Twink
I will not tell you that I eat strawberries despite being allergic to them

duct tape
GODDAMMIT

Leech
shouto i hope you know that’s like,,,, bad for you

Twink
if they’re so dangerous to me then why do they taste good

Emo
uh, maybe because not everyone is allergic to them???

Twink
fake

The Rock
bro…

Twink
oh my fucking god I’m joking
it’s a joke

The Rock
oh
my bad bro

Twink
jesus christ

Pikachu
you kind of look like a strawberry

Twink
wow, thanks

Pikachu
LMAO I MEANT LIKE,,, THE RED HAIR??? IS THE COLOUR OF STRAWBERRIES

ribbit changed Twink’s name to strawberry head

ribbit
yw

strawberry head
this is bullying

Host
No tf it isn’t

Leech
yeah you would be an expert on that wouldn’t you

Host
SHUT UP???

boring :)
oh my god I’m so glad you guys see it I have been thinking this for MONTHS

strawberry head
you’ve been thinking that I look like a strawberry for months????

boring :)
YES

Emo
wait lwk me too

strawberry head
????

KirbyKnife
me everytime I see shouto and deku together
strawbs

Leech
oh my god
wait you’re actually correct
wait

strawberry head
stop
don’t give in
STOP

Leech
what if

strawberry head
please izuku i can’t do this anymore

Leech
what if we were little strawberries in a strawberry container and we got dipped in chocolate and the chocolate stuck together when it cooled and we were stuck because of the chocolate and we kissed and then we got eaten by a couple who thought we were cute idk

duct tape
bro tried to sneak it in

strawberry head
i am giong to run away to live in the woods

Pikachu
giong

Host
KYS GAY FUCKS

Leech
BUT KACCHAN I LOVE HIM

Host
AUAUFHSJGHDFKJBGKFDJFOFIGJGSIPJG
I HATE MY LIFE

The Rock
does that mean you don’t want to be a strawberry with me :(

Host
That is not what I said

ribbit
bro folded

Host
Keep Yourself Safe

Edgelord
Did you know that strawberries signify love, passion, and purity?

KirbyKnife
STOP THAT’S SO CUTE

The Rock
fruits have meanings???

Host
Dumbass

duct tape
(affectionate)

Host
LEAVE ME ALONE DAMN

Alien Queen
why are all of you being so GAY holy shit

*sparkling*
it could always get gayer!!!!

MOMo
Are you… offering?

Emo
HEKP

Pikachu
I am
smirking emoji

Master of Manly Affairs
literally who would allow you to do that

Pikachu
YOU

Master of Manly Affairs
WHAT????

strawberry head
choking on strawberries to get out of this conversation

Class Prez
Do NOT do that.

Sugar High
Do I need to lock the strawberries up with like,,, a metal lock or something??

strawberry head
i will melt through it
trust me

The Rock
tokoyami! my favourite fruit is mango what meaning does it have

ribbit
if you melt through a lock to get to something you’re allergic to I want to record it

Edgelord
Wealth, fertility, and immortality in some cases.

The Rock
DO YOU HEAR THAT??? IMMORTALITY!!!

Pikachu
can I watch

ribbit
yes

MOMo
Please don’t melt metal in our fridge
Or our kitchen, for that matter.

Class Prez
Or the dorms, please
PLEASE

The Rock
guys did you not hear my cool mango fact :(

Host
Yeah yeah you’re immortal let’s MOVE ON

The Rock
:D
you WERE listeningggg :DDD

Host
No I wasn’t what the fuck

ribbit
THEY’RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER TO MAKE FREAKING CLASS 1-A GAY
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

strawberry head
it sounds like a slur when you say it like that

ribbit
good

Master of Manly Affairs
is this lesbian + gay hostility

ribbit
yes

strawberry head
yeah

MOMo
Why can’t we all be lesbian + gay SOLIDARITY? Why do we have to fight??

Pikachu
yeah guys, why can’t we all just get along???

KirbyKnife
violence is funny

Class Prez
I hate to agree
But…

duct tape
WHY DO YOU KEEP AGREEING WITH VIOLENT IDEAS IIDA

Leech
he has like,,, really bad anger issues

Class Prez
That is not true.
My anger issues should not be classified as ‘really bad’

Master of Manly Affairs
even though they are?

Class Prez
Yes.

duct tape
you know what? fair enough

Chapter Text

-League of Trauma-

Chicken Nuggets
LMAO

Bacon Bits
Do not say a fucking word

Chicken Nuggets
i have super silly news to share

Bacon Bits
I’m fleeing the country

mom
What happened?

Chicken Nuggets
okay so basically we were watching avatar right

LIZARD
the one with the blue alien dudes??

Chicken Nuggets
no, we were watching atla (the better avatar) (dabi is literally zuko) (don’t even try to deny it)

stabs you
OHHHH HE KIND OF IS!!!!! (*≧ω≦*)

Bacon Bits
I am not??? What???

Shiggy
daddy issues, burn scars, short temper, terrible social skills, autistic
he’s literally you

Bacon Bits
First of all, fuck you
Second of all, my social skills are fine I just don’t use them
THIRD OF ALL, I do not have a short temper, you’re just exceptionally good at pissing me off

Shiggy
damn
should I put that in my bio

Bi-myself
“really fucking good at activating Dabi’s anger issues”

LIZARD
*daddy issues

Bacon Bits
What the fuck did I ever do to you

LIZARD
You call me lizard

Bacon Bits
It’s literally your username???

LIZARD
oh yeah you right

Bacon Bits
???

BIG SIS
so, tell me about what happened while watching atla?

Bacon Bits
No, don’t

Chicken Nuggets
we were watching atla and dabi cried during the agni kai scene when zuko was 13
again

Shiggy
AGAIN??

Chicken Nuggets
again
we’ve watched it together like six times

Bacon Bits
I am going to throw myself out the window

BIG SIS
Don’t do that

Bacon Bits
I’m ending it all
Play good music at my funeral
If I have a funeral
Actually don’t do a funeral I’ve already had one and it sucked

Bi-myself
are you going to elaborate on that or…??

Bacon Bits
I had a funeral held for me when I was a kid because everyone thought I was dead

LIZARD
oh!

mom
We would hold a funeral for you if you were to pass, Dabi, unless you really don’t want one.

Bacon Bits
I don’t really care
Do whatever you want as long as the music is good

Shiggy
deal
can I dance on your grave

Bacon Bits
Only if you record it and post it on the internet

Shiggy
damn
idk if that’s how I want to lose my dignity

that one k-pop group
literally what dignity
WHAT HE SAID

Chicken Nuggets
LMAOOOOO
even the alter ego agreed

Shiggy
keys

Chicken Nuggets
locks

Shiggy
I will fucking end you

Bi-myself
shiver me timbers

mom
Dabi, does that scene in ATLA trigger you? I wouldn’t recommend watching it if it causes you distress.

stabs you
(っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)
it’s okay dabi
we’re here for you

Bacon Bits
I don’t even know how to respond to that to be honest

Chicken Nuggets
why did kurogiri clock your daddy issues like that, damn

Bacon Bits
Sleep with your fucking eyes open
Anyways I usually skip the agni kai but hawks won’t fucking LET ME

Chicken Nuggets
how would you feel if people skipped your burn scene :(
I’m giving him SYMPATHY

Bacon Bits
I would be so fucking angry that someone would choose to watch that if that happened to me. Also, Zuko is a fictional character.

that one k-pop group
zuko is more like that todoroki kid than dabi

Bacon Bits
Don’t ruin atla by comparing Zuko to todoroki fucking shouto

Chicken Nuggets
dude shouto is such a funny kid

Bacon Bits
i’m running away

Shiggy
again

Bacon Bits
fuck you
at least i didn’t murder my entire family when i was five

Shiggy
at least my family is fucking dead, dumbass

LIZARD
oop
he’s got you there

Bacon Bits
Shut up, Lizard

LIZARD
SPINNER
SPINNER
SPINNER
MY NAME IS SPINNER
YOU BURNT CORPSE

Bacon Bits
I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU
FUCKING STAIN WANNABE

LIZARD
STAPLED BITCH
YOU SMELL LIKE FUCKING SHIT

Bacon Bits
YOU PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING TALK

Shiggy
what’s wrong with lol

Bacon Bits
Ew
You abbreviated it

Shiggy
uh, die?

BIG SIS
I think that’s the most polite you’ve ever been

Shiggy
I’m always polite, fuck you

Bi-myself
lmao
okay king

Shiggy
what.the fuck?

BIG SIS
Don’t shame each other about your interests, boys.

LIZARD
yes ma’am :(

Shiggy
don’t tell me what to do

mom
Tomura.

Shiggy
UGHHHHH FINE DAMN

Bacon Bits
lmao

Shiggy
OHHHMYYGOODDD KILL YOURSELFFFFF

Bacon Bits
all in the plans, dw about it

Bi-myself
don’t kys it’s lowkey cringe

that one k-pop group
i am actively losing braincells listening to this conversation
I AM A THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS

Shiggy
old ahh

Bacon Bits
baby

Shiggy
what the fuck is wrong with you

Bacon Bits
You’re TWENTY ONE
My SISTER is twenty one
I was WALKING by the time you were conceived
The ONLY people in this group that are younger than you are spinner and toga
and hawks maybe idk I don’t pay attention to him

Chicken Nuggets
:(

Shiggy
twenty one isn’t even that old
calm down grandpa

stabs you
how old is kurogiri????

mom
I am thirty one, I believe.

stabs you
oh wowie!!!!! (✧0✧)
that’s so old!!!

that one k-pop group
that hurt a little bit, not gonna lie
I WON’T LET YOUR WORDS AFFECT ME!!!!

mom
Thirty one is not old, Himiko.

stabs you
it is though!!
i’m probably not even going to live to thirty one that’s how old it is!!

Bacon Bits
Real

Shiggy
lwk relatable

Chicken Nuggets
me core

LIZARD
jesus what is wrong with you people
i fuckin better live to thirty one

BIG SIS
you know who else is thirty one? Eraserhead

Shiggy
STOP TALKING ERASERHEAD MENTIONED
he’s so cool

Bi-myself
help????

Shiggy
like sosososososo cool i feel like a fucking fangirl whenever i see him
the one hero i’d be okay with sparing

LIZARD
are you
are you being fr rn?

Shiggy
YES
he’s genuinely the coolest person alive

mom
I am also a fan of Shouta’s.

Shiggy
why are you talking about him like you’re friends

mom
We went to highschool together.

Shiggy
WHAT? YOU DID AND NEVER TOLD ME?

Chicken Nuggets
I thought eraser went to U.A?

mom
He did.

stabs you
woah!!! kurogiri went to a hero school???

Bacon Bits
Not just any hero school, U.A.

Shiggy
was he cool in highschool too???

Bi-myself
I don’t recognise you when you get like this

mom
He was, yes, but not the same way he is now. I don’t think you would’ve been a huge fan of his then.

Shiggy
sigh
i need to like
meet him or something

Bacon Bits
I don’t. He kicked my face in

that one k-pop group
actually, that was one of my clones

Bacon Bits
Close enough

LIZARD
I’m confused tbh
I never thought i’d live to see the day where tomura FANBOYS over a HERO

Shiggy
not just any hero
eraserhead

BIG SIS
eraserhead can get it tbh

mom
Oh dear.

Bi-myself
NO I SEE IT
it’s the gruffness amirite

BIG SIS
EXACTLY!!! He’s just so,,, naturally hot
If he cleaned up a little he might actually get a date

Shiggy
he’s married
and has two children

Chicken Nuggets
WHAT
how do you know these things
how did I not know about this????

Shiggy
idk you must not be a very good spy

Chicken Nuggets
well damn

Bi-myself
wait no, go back
What do you mean, he’s married with children??

Shiggy
he’s married to that one limelight hero
the blonde one
with the radio show

mom
Oh, of course. Hizashi. I went to school with him too.

Bacon Bits
present mic?

stabs you
how do you know him???

Bacon Bits
I listened to his show when I was a kid
Used to call in sometimes, mostly so my siblings could talk to him

LIZARD
awwww sibling bonding

Bacon Bits
ew

Shiggy
his daughter is the girl with the rewind quirk
Chisaki’s kid
and the other is the brainwash kid who transferred to the hero course recently

BIG SIS
Honestly? I was rooting for that kid during the sport’s fest. they seemed like a pretty capable person. Wouldn’t mind seeing heroes like them more often

Bi-myself
they almost got midoriya, it was great
wished they would’ve beat the guy so the finals could be more interesting

Shiggy
real
I fucking hate midoriya
little bitchass all might fanboy

that one k-pop group
alright, calm down eraserhead stan

Shiggy
DON’T COMPARE ERASERHEAD TO ALL MIGHT YOU FUCK

Chicken Nuggets
I like midoriya, personally
he’s a pretty funny kid
did you know he recently got with his class and asked a bunch of pro heroes if they were leash kids in order to write an essay about whether or not being a leash kid contributed to being successful in the heroics industry?
he,, like, sorted all of the information out and everything. he’s releasing the paper soon, if my sources are right

that one k-pop group
I like him now

BIG SIS
So? Does being a leash kid have an influence on success?

Chicken Nuggets
probably, seeing as all three of the top heroes were leash kids
the top three being all might, endeavour and i

Bacon Bits
lmao you were a leash kid

Chicken Nuggets
also according to my sources, you were a leash kid too, dabs

Bacon Bits
And i’m not a fucking top hero, am I

LIZARD
bro touched a nerve there

Bacon Bits
WELL???? I’M FUCKING NOT?????

mom
Dabi, please calm down.
I can smell you burning from across the house

stabs you
and kurogiri doesn’t even have a nose

mom
I have a nose.

Shiggy
what

mom
Of course I have a nose? I have all of the parts of a normal human being. Ears, eyes, nose, mouth, et cetera.

LIZARD
I don’t have ears
must be nice

Bi-myself
You don’t have VISIBLE ears
dumbass

LIZARD
THAT’S WHAT I MEANT

Chicken Nuggets
every day i thank god for giving me ears instead of the wackass equivalent birds have

Bacon Bits
Didn’t get so lucky on the leg side of things

Chicken Nuggets
don’t insult my chicken legs :(

Bi-myself
*hawk legs
honestly, I feel like I know more about your anatomy than you do

Chicken Nuggets
that is not as reassuring of a statement as you think it is

Bi-myself
I wasn’t trying to be reassuring.

Chicken Nuggets
oh, my bad for assuming you had human empathy

stabs you
we’re the league of villains!!! what did you expect ծ_Ô

Chicken Nuggets
you know what? good point

Chapter Text

-Polyam more like I polyamnot getting bitches-

shut up
every day i wake up
suffering

loud
you don’t wake up during the day
insomniac

shut up
i will END YOU kaminari denki

LOUDER
GUESS WHO WON TODAY!?!?!?
WHAT’D YOU SAY??? “MOMONA NEITO”????
LOUD CORRECT BUZZER

loud
we didn’t even say anything king

LOUDER
SHUDDUP
you were thinking it tho ( ˘ ³˘)♥

loud
NUH UH

shut up
what did you win

LOUDER
life tbh

loud
me whenever i think of my super awesome and cool partners

LOUDER
aw shucks (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

loud
:3

shut up
holy HOMOS

loud
hey so fun fact you’re gay too

shut up
oh really? i would’ve never known if it weren’t for you
(sarcasm)

LOUDER
wait you mean we weren’t your first crushes
˙◠˙

shut up
that is the SADDEST face i think i have ever seen
i almost feel bad now

LOUDER
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙

shut up
stop

LOUDER
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙
˙◠˙

shut up
STOP
NOW
OR ELSE I SWEAR TO GOD

loud
but the little face is so sad hitoshi :(
that’s what neito and i look like rn btw we are so sad

LOUDER
˙◠˙
us because you don’t love us anymore

shut up
i never said that

LOUDER
˙ᵕ˙

loud
real

shut up
jesus you two are insufferable

loud
thanks

LOUDER
thank you omg
anyways
‘what did you win exactly, neito?'
oh i’m glad you asked

shut up
i literally asked that exact question

LOUDER
no you didn’t
let me have my moment

loud
what did you win exactly, neito

LOUDER
OH, I AM GLADDDDD YOU ASKED ᕙ(  •̀ ᗜ •́  )ᕗ
i won an art competition against some of the best juvenile artists in the country
first place, babeyyyy

loud
OH WOAH CONGRATS

shut up
good job
send me a photo of your piece later

LOUDER
OF COURSE I WILL
HAHEYAHEYHAEHEAHYEHAEJAGEHAGEHAGEHAKJFG
I AM SO HAPPY
JUMPING FOR JOY

loud
:D
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD ARTIST NEITO

LOUDER
( ùᗜú)
why thank you

shut up
unrelated but neito i need you to find me the most smug, arrogant, confident pos kaomoji you can please

LOUDER
oh say less
( ˵ •̀ ᴗ •́˵)
(≖⩊≖)
(˘ ˘ ˘)
¬‿¬
(≖⌣≖)
I feel like you’ll especially appreciate this one
(¬‿¬)凸

shut up
you’re right i do appreciate that one
thanks

loud
what do you need a smug emoticon for

shut up
bragging
about being better than someone

loud
i’m not surprised
do i know them

shut up
nah
they’re someone i knew in elementary and middle school
little fucker kept trying to force me to use my quirk on the people he didn’t like and become his henchman or smth
he just texted me for the first time in over a year

LOUDER
you should challenge him to a duel

shut up
i love you so much you’re so dumb

LOUDER
hey
that was uncalled for

loud
it was lwk called for

LOUDER
ALL I SAID WAS CHALLENGE THE GUY TO A DUEL
IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE TO THE DEATH JEEZ

shut up
neito do you
do you challenge people to duels when you disagree with them??

LOUDER
no, that would be ridiculous
i challenge people to duels when they wrong me in some way

loud
do they,,,, agree?

LOUDER
usually, yeah
and I win EVERY TIME

loud
brb

shut up
istg

—

-Class 1-gAy-

Pikachu
jirou i challenge you to a duel

The Rock
what

Emo
????

Master of Manly Affairs
why are you like this
wait
what did JIROU do to you????

Pikachu
jirou’s opinions on most things infuriate me because they’re the wrong opinions. like how she calls evan chris and thinks goldfish are chips (like a freak)
and so i’m dueling her
winner gets to have the correct opinion

Emo
oh you are fucking ON denki

strawberry head
can we place bets

Host
Hell no

Kirbyknife
HELL YEAH
200 yen on kyouka

strawberry head
2000 on denki, then. to even it out

duct tape
you mean 200

strawberry head
no

Leech
300 on kaminari!!!

Class Prez
Midoriya! This is unacceptable behaviour. Let’s not bet on our classmates and let’s certainly not DUEL.

MOMo
5000 on Kyouka

Emo
i am in love with you

Class Prez
Yaoyorozu!

MOMo
Sorry, Iida, I have to represent. Especially if Shouto is going to bet on Kaminari

strawberry head
what did i ever do to you

MOMo
I am still upset over that time you didn’t wave back at that gala

strawberry head
i was having my photo taken??? my dad was holding my wrists together behind my back because i kept trying to punch him????

MOMo
Not my problem, to be honest.

Edgelord
Another one joins the dark.

The Rock
so true king

boring :)
i don’t have money, can I bet our meal plans for next week on jirou?
like, if i win i get to pick what we eat for a week?

duct tape
oh HELL no
i bet meal planning on kaminari
i am not letting you pick your bland ass dinners
we are having SPICES

Host
KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF MY MEAL PLANS
I’LL KILL YOU BOTH

Master of Manly Affairs
hey iida

Class Prez
Yes, Shinsou?

Master of Manly Affairs
just letting you know that if anything terrible happens, blame monoma neito

Class Prez
Why???

The Rock
oh I KNEW MONOMA WAS BEHIND THIS

Alien Queen
atp you should get an award for how often you guess monoma’s behind something correctly

The Rock
it’s my specialty
think of it as my monoma detector

Host
Like my Idiot Detector but for jackasses?

The Rock
EXACTLY like your idiot detector

duct tape
you have an idiot detector?

Host
What kind of dumbass question is that? OF COURSE I have an Idiot Detector
Oh, what’s that? It’s going off? Oh! It must be because you are an IDIOT
don’t ever ask a stupid question again, I will KILL YOU.

duct tape
:(

Leech
kacchan

Host
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Leech
KACCHAN

Host
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-
Look what you’ve done, Deku. You’re so dumb you BROKE the Idiot Detector.

KirbyKnife
is this roleplay?

Host
AUHAUEHAUEHAUHKSJFHDKGJGNBBKC
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Faceless
I have several thoughts about this interaction
none of them positive

Edgelord
I wholeheartedly agree.

KirbyKnife
you guys cannot tell me neither of you have ever roleplayed

Host
SHUT THE FUCK UP IT’S NOT ROLEPLAY

The Rock
i love you dude but that was definitely roleplay

Host
KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU

ribbit
anyways i bet 300 on jirou

Pikachu
why do you hate me

ribbit
it’s kind of my whole thing tbh

Master of Manly Affairs
this is ridiculous
i need a drink

*sparkling*
WINE!?!?!?

Master of Manly Affairs
no??? i’m underage, idiot
i meant coffee

*sparkling*
haha yeah me too

Alien Queen
WINE!?!?!
FERMENTED GRAPE JUICE?!?!?!
JUICE?!?!?!
ORANGE JUICE MENTIONED?!?!?!

Class Prez
I love orange juice!

duct tape
let’s all thank Iida for trying so desperately to keep us from going ape shit

Leech
no don’t thank him he isn’t any better than the rest of us
if we’re thanking anyone it should be me for staying sane all these years

strawberry head
thank you izuku for never going insane

Leech
yw

KirbyKnife
yknow what? thank ME for being the bad bitch that I am
i get money AND bitches AND I’m pretty
top that

Host
You get money?

KirbyKnife
shut up richie

Host
I’m not even rich

The Rock
once you gave me 10000 yen because you wanted to cheer me up

Leech
kacchan is rich he has two floors
and a giant backyard/garden

boring :)
I’m sorry, TWO floors?

strawberry head
i don’t have two floors
what is this madness

Leech
counterargument
shouto your house has more square metres than ochako, me, tsuyu, and kaminari combined

strawberry head
yeah you’re right

KirbyKnife
I’m CRASHING OUT
WHY DO YOU GUYS GET THE BIG HOUSES
SAVE SOME CASH FOR THE REST OF US
WHO ELSE HERE IS RICH

Class Prez
I suppose I could be classified as rich

MOMo
I think we’ve had conversations about my wealth before!!

The Rock
bad news bears

ribbit
wait what

The Rock
remember when I said my ma worked for the government?
Mina’s pretty rich too

Alien Queen
wow thanks for outing me
but yeah we both went to a pretty expensive private school lolol

duct tape
sighs loudly
god hates me

KirbyKnife
REAL!!!!

strawberry head
every time someone says they wish they had my life because I’m rich, I’m reminded of that one saying where it’s like
‘rich but sad, poor but happy’ or whatever

KirbyKnife
not me bro I’m suffering over here

Faceless
real

strawberry head
wishing i was poor and happy rn

Leech
is this the day where i out myself as wealthy or should i keep it to myself
chat what do you think

KirbyKnife
you’re WHAT
I THOUGHT YOU SYMPATHISED WITH ME
I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE SAME BOAT
YOU LIVE IN AN APARTMENT
AN APARTMENT

Leech
because my mom likes the size of them!! we could live in a house if we wanted to but we don’t
also how could you think i was poor i own so much merchandise
have you SEEN the price of those things

The Rock
i’ll be so fr i thought bakugou bought it for you

Host
Why the fuck would I do that?

Pikachu
sugar daddy

duct tape
Watch yourself, denki.
watch yourself.

Host
I fixed the idiot detector, Kaminari, but that comment broke it again.

Emo
wow you really do like roleplay

Host
What was it you said earlier, Sparky? A duel? Count me fucking in.

Pikachu
HELL YEAH

Chapter Text

-World’s Biggest Idiot Sandwich-

Scotch
if i had a dollar for every time midoriya and bakugou argued over literally NOTHING i would be a rich, rich man

Racoon Eyes
real shit

Kacchan
We wouldn’t argue so much if he weren’t so damn stupid

Hemmingyay
lwk i think it might just be you

Kacchan
WHAT

Hemmingyay
I’M NOT CALLING YOU STUPID OR ANYTHING
HAHA NO I WOULD NEVER

Shitty Hair
I think kami means like,,, maybe you’re just picking fights???

Kacchan
I don’t pick fights

Earphones
yes? you do?

Kacchan
NO?
I wouldn’t fight people so much if they didn’t respond to my threats

Racoon Eyes
so
you’re basically saying,,,,
it’s other people’s fault that they get upset when you threaten them?

Kacchan
Exactly.
I’m not mean, people are just fucking sensitive

Scotch
did your mom tell you that?

Kacchan
Shut the fuck up

Scotch
I’M BEING FR

Kacchan
oh
Yeah, she did, but I only believe it because my dad says the same thing

Hemmingyay
dear jesus, please never let me meet kacchan’s parents, thank you
also, i wish i was rich

Earphones
amen??

Hemmingyay
AMEN!!

Shitty Hair
amen bro, amen

Kacchan
y’all are a bunch of pussies

Racoon Eyes
NUH UH!!! i’m a coward, there’s a difference

Hemmingyay
:(
i’m not either a pussy OR a coward, i’m just dumb

Scotch
sighs
real

Shitty Hair
I AM VERY MANLY AND NOT A PUSSY

Earphones
alr bro whatever you say

Shitty Hair
JUMPS YOU

Earphones
WHAT. THE FUCK?

Hemmingyay
also jumps you

Earphones
I’M NOT A FUCKING TRAMPOLINE GO AWAY

Hemmingyay
:(

Kacchan
This is picking fights
I don’t do that

Scotch
ain’t no way you actually believe that bro

Kacchan
What’s that supposed to mean?

Scotch
Nuthin
dw about it

Shitty Hair
sighs

Racoon Eyes
why are we roleplaying???

Shitty Hair
SIGHS
i miss my mooommmmmsssss

Kacchan
Mama’s boy

Shitty Hair
you do not get to talk

Kacchan
No, I hate my mom

Hemmingyay
okay mr. perfect parents

Scotch
bro has good grades, a good quirk, a good home life, and good friends, and he STILL acts like that

Kacchan
I act like what?

Scotch
haha

Kacchan
No, answer me. I act like what?

Racoon Eyes
you’re so intimidating :( even over text

Kacchan
It’s an art

Hemmingyay
speaking of art

Shitty Hair
OHMYYYGODODDDD literally nobody cares about monoma

Hemmingyay
I CARE ABOUT HIM DIE
anyways did you guys see the pretty art that made him win the contest

Earphones
you’re such a yearner I can FEEL the fond smile through the text

Hemmingyay
i was built for loving bro,,, not fighting,,,

Kacchan
Can’t relate

Scotch
yeah yeah you’re aroace shutup

Kacchan
What? No, I’m not?

Racoon Eyes
wait what?
i thought you were?

Kacchan
Genuinely, what have I ever said to make you think that

Shitty Hair
“I hate this training exercise and this LOVE STUFF” the last part was you shouting

Hemmingyay
Mineta thought you were aroace too

Kacchan
of course he did
Is that why he would randomly tell me he “didn’t understand” why I was the way I was??

Scotch
prolly

Earphones
holy reference

Shitty Hair
doctor, will she make ti???
it*

Scotch
prolly not

Hemmingyay
imagine misspelling a two letter word

Shitty Hair
imagine being hopelessly in love with not one, but two dudes
simp

Hemmingyay
at least MY partners weren’t accused of being aroace by literally everyone they knew

Kacchan
Don’t talk about me

Hemmingyay
my bad

Racoon Eyes
wait baku,,, ik you’re gay but are you fr not aroace???

Kacchan
I’m on the spectrum

Earphones
not surprised
you’ve always had that autism stare

Kacchan
I MEANT THE AROACE SPECTRUM YOU DUMBASS

Earphones
eh, same thing

Shitty Hair
not even close queen

Earphones
i do NOT care

Racoon Eyes
so like,, demi?

Kacchan
idfk
Labels, schmabels

Hemmingyay
REAL

Scotch
Every day I love you more

Hemmingyay
oh wowie

Scotch
sighs
i was talking to bakugou

Hemmingyay
oh :(

Kacchan
No, no you were not
Never speak to me again

Scotch
sorry bro, you’re stuck with me

Kacchan
ew

Earphones
^^^^

Scotch
wow just say you hate me next time

Earphones
I hate you

Kacchan
I hate you

Scotch
oh
i don’t know why i was expecting anything different tbh

Chapter Text

-I FOUND YOUUU!!!-

Himiko!!! added 28 people to -I FOUND YOUUU!!!-

Himiko!!!
hehe

Tomu-chan
wha
WHAT

Izuku-kun!!!
wait what’s going on

Kat-chan
Killing myself as we speak.

Spin-chan
ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Tenya-kun
What is going on?!

Magne-chan
oh dear

Kiri-kun
what in the world

Hito-kun
WHAT THE FUCK???

Himiko!!!
:3

Dabi-chan
I AM GOING TO ROAST YOU, TOGA

Shou-chan
oh hey touya

Dabi-chan
JUMPS OFF A ROOF

Kat-chan
Me and you both

Dabi-chan
GO AWAY

Hawks-kun
erm

Kyouka-chan
HAWKS????

Fumi-kun
Genuinely what the hell are you doing here.

Hawks-kun
okay so
i can explain

Mina-chan
holyshit this is great

Yaomomo-chan
NO IT ISN’T???

Tenya-kun
We need to report this to Aizawa-sensei!

Tooru-chan
orrrr we could…. not?

Kami-kun
imagine the possibilities iida

Tenya-kun
I will NOT be doing that, no thank you.

Hanta-kun
i am
losing it
the NAMES

Tomu-chan left the chat

Himiko!!!
hey wait you can’t do that

Tomu-chan joined the chat

Tomu-chan
LET ME LEAVE

Tomu-chan left the chat
Tomu-chan joined the chat

Tomu-chan
AUGHGHGHHHHH

Kuro-kun
This is most frustrating.

Mashi-chan
okay grandpa

Dabi-chan
LMAO
I like you, kid

Mashi-chan
i don’t know how to feel about that tbh

Izuku-kun!!!
RELEASE ME

Ochako-chan!!!
NO STAY

Tsu-chan!!!
wait why are our names special

Himiko!!!
(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Tsu-chan!!!
oh

Kyouka-chan
sighs
i wish i got a cute special nickname

Himiko!!!
i have one for you!!
cute-covered-in-blood-kyou-kyou-kyouka-chan!!!

Kyouka-chan
nvm i’m good actually

Yuuga-chan
I want a cute nickname!!!

Himiko!!!
can’t-stop-yuuga-chan-from-sparkling!!!

Yuuga-chan
aaaa i love it!!! thank you!!!

Himiko!!!
no problem!!!

Compress-chan
I like to think you don’t have one for me, but I’m sure you do.

Himiko!!!
blue-magic-shiny-compress-chan-who-wears-a-mask!!!

Kat-chan
Why are all of your nicknames so damn long?

Kiri-kun
okay great explosion murder god dynamight

Kat-chan
k.y.s

Tomu-chan
what if I killed myself? what if I ended it all?

Kami-kun
PLEASE, bro
we’ve been waiting for this

Tsu-chan!!!
please, shigaraki
please

Tomu-chan
fuck you all now I’m not going to

Izuku-kun!!!
damn :(

Tomu-chan
OH FUCK YOU I HATE YOU

Izuku-kun!!!
I HATE YOU TOO
bitch

Shou-chan
damn tell him how you really feel

Izuku-kun!!!
I hate you because of everything you represent and how, even though you have the option to stop and to find help and atone for what you’ve done and HELP US stop the people hurting you, you chose to regurgitate that cycle of violence you were forced into and it feels like you don’t even feel any remorse for it, which makes me angry because you’re so blinded by your anger that you can’t see that this is going to backfire terribly on you and you’re going to regret it all one day when you’re rotting in a prison cell, too far gone to go back on your choices and seek guidance.

Dabi-chan
Holy shit?

Tomu-chan
…

Dabi-chan
he literally clocked your ass?

Tomu-chan
shut up you are your father’s son

Dabi-chan
WHAT.

Shou-chan
I AM DISTRAUGHT

Dabi-chan
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL??!?!?!?!?

Hanta-kun
well damn

Mina-chan
why are all of you getting roasted what

Kuro-kun
This is normal.

Mezou-kun
oh!
that isn’t concerning at all!

Spin-chan
we kill ppl and the fact that we use our past trauma to insult each other is what you’re worried about?

Mezou-kun
lwk yeah

Yaomomo-chan
Agreed! That’s not a very good work ethic :(

Tenya-kun
WHY ARE YOU HELPING THEM?!?!?

Yaomomo-chan
I’m not! I’m just saying that they’d work better as a team if they lifted each other up rather than made fun of each other’s weaknesses!

Kiri-kun
there is an emoji for how i’m feeling rn but i can’t find it

Himiko!!!
(·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

Kiri-kun
oh my god that is exactly it

Himiko!!!
(˶ˆᗜˆ˵) your welcome!!!

Compress-chan
You’re*

Himiko!!!
EAT SHIT AND DIE (ง ‵□′)ง

Compress-chan
I COULDN’T JUST LET IT SLIDE?!!?

Himiko!!!
I CAN SPELL HOWEVER I WANT!!!!

Hito-kun
You quite literally cannot, actually

Compress-chan
Thank you for being on my side, Hito-kun

Hito-kun
never call me that again

Compress-chan
I don’t know your name!!! what else would I call you!!?!?!?!

Hito-kun changed their name to Hitoshi
Himiko!!! changed Hitoshi’s name to Hito-kun :(

Himiko!!!
NO CHANGING YOUR NAME!!!111!1!!!!!!1!!

Hito-kun :(
was my punishment the sad face???

Himiko!!!
break the rules again and you’ll get something worse

Hito-kun :(
????

Dabi-chan
She’ll find a dick kaomoji

Hito-kun :(
oh
i’ll take the sad face

Tenya-kun
That is SO inappropriate

Izuku-kun!!!
genuinely what were expecting
it’s toga himiko

Tenya-kun
But still!

Kyouka-chan
personally, i think it’s funny

Hito-kun :(
you would

Kyouka-chan
I’ll kill you?

Tomu-chan
please do

Kuro-kun
Tomura, don’t interrupt other people’s conversations.

Tomu-chan
this is a groupchat? I can say whatever i want?

Kuro-kun
It is rude, Tomura.

Mashi-chan
why is he literally your dad

Magne-chan
That’s what I keep saying!!!
I like you, kid!

Mashi-chan
why am i gaining all of the villain’s favours :(

Himiko!!!
i favour you too!!!

Mashi-chan
I DON’T LIKE THIS ANYMORE
TOORU SAVE ME

Tooru-chan
I GOT YOU BAE

Mina-chan
YEAAAHHHH GET UR MAN

Yaomomo-chan
I have a solution to our problem!

Tooru-chan
EVERYONE LEAVE MASHI ALONE!!!!

Yaomomo-chan
Everyone!

Tooru-chan
BEGONE FOUL BEASTS

Mina-chan
BEGONE

Ochako-chan!!!
BEGONE

Yaomomo-chan
Everybody!!!

Tomu-chan
BEGONE
but only dabi

Dabi-chan
BEGONE SHIGARAKI’S DUSTY CRUSTY EYE WAX
BEGONE SHIGARAKI’S NASTY GAMING CONTROLLER
BEGONE SHIGARAKI’S DISGUSTING BREATH
BEGONE BEGONE BEGONE BEGONE BEGONE

Tomu-chan
FUCK YOU

Twice-chan
BEGONE!
that was not worth it

Spin-chan
i’ve seen BEGONE so much that it doesn’t even look like a word anymore

Yaomomo-chan
EVERYONE.

Kyouka-chan
!!

Kat-chan
Damn

Yaomomo-chan
I said, I HAVE A SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM.

Kami-kun
gets down on my hands and knees
please yaomomo

Yaomomo-chan
Just… log off. Turn off your phone. Stop replying to messages.

Hawks-kun
oh my god.

Izuku-kun!!!
…

Kiri-kun
oh!

Tsu-chan!!!
dear god

Satou-chan
ain’t no way none of us thought of this
midoriya aren’t you a genius?

Izuku-kun!!!
definitely not!!!

Kat-chan
No he isn’t. I’ve seen him lick paint off of walls.
Wait, did logging off actually never cross any of your minds?

Fumi-kun
I was going to ask the same question.

Hanta-kun
is this implying that you DID think of this?

Kat-chan
You cannot be that stupid.

Yuuga-chan
:(

Kat-chan
Holy shit?
did none of you think of this?

Magne-chan
I’m going to go crawl in a hole and die now, thanks!

Spin-chan
…no way bro NO WAY WE DIDN’T THINK OF THIS

Himiko!!!
:(( but guys this is my fun and silly groupchat!!

Tomu-chan
everyone log off at the same time three two one go

Himiko!!!
NO DON’T!!!
guys?
GUYS?!?!?
NO?!?!?!!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOO
GUYS COME BACK
(╥﹏╥)
WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO SHIGARAKI OF ALL PEOPLE?!!?!??
GUYSSSSSSS
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
okay i give up :(

Chapter Text

-I FOUND YOUUU!!!-

Froppy
can we address the fact that HAWKS is in this chat?

Hawks
runs away
haha no im not

Tsukuyomi
???

Hawks
LISTEN
listen
it’s complicated

Tsukuyomi
Sure, it is.

Hawks
don’t sass me, kid

Red Riot
are you not like,,, four years older than us??

Hawks
what is this
insult hawks day

Dabi
I’ll get in on that

Hawks
you shut up

Dabi
No thanks

Mr. Compress
Personally, I’m more interested in how Himiko did this at all

Himiko!!!
i coded it

Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight
Obviously

Chargebolt
everytime i see your username i giggle

Earphone Jack
did you HAVE to use the full name? you couldn’t have abbreviated it?

Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight
Would you prefer my username be GEMGD?
Because that sounds stupid as shit

Shouto
Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight also sounds stupid but here we are

Dabi
Okay, Shouto

Shouto
hi

Dabi
Don’t talk to me

Shouto
you started it???