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“KENEDI. Get out,” Ella shrieked. “You’re supposed to be getting ready!”
I winced at her shrill exclamations, shrugging off my jacket anyways. Tossing my duffel onto her pink couch and throwing myself face down onto it.
“Mph mnot-”
She sounded baffled, “What?” I looked up.
“I can't do it, E. I can't go out with him.”
“Oh no, you're not doing this to me.”
“My apologies, your highness, but when did this become about you? This is supposed to be a pity party of one.”
“All the girls will be disappointed if you don't go, Ken. We’ve all been rooting for this. And I might not have bet money on it but a lot of people did.”
Picking imaginary lint off my uniform, I shrugged.
“Too bad, I can't go. Need the money I’ll get for picking up a shift.”
“I got someone to cover you.”
At that, my face began to burn, “Yeah about that- I erm… I called Lyris and told her not to come in, that I could make it after all.”
“Ken!”
“Besides, I think I’m getting sick. Seriously, boss. There’s this feeling in the pit of my stomach, it's all… fluttery.”
Ella did her best to hide her smile, “Butterflies? Aww, Ken!”
“Shut up.”
“No but really, you have to go home. I won't pay you.” At that, I sat up.
“You need me here. Dev did their best covering for me last time, but I saw how crazy the door got.”
“Exactly why I called Lyris. If only someone hadn't told her to stay home.”
“He’s been messaging me all day.”
“Tech?” She frowned, probably realizing I still hadn't said his name since I’d come in. “That’s good, isn't it? You guys talk everyday anyways. And you always say you hate it when dates don't confirm day-of. Communication is key.”
I pointed a slightly shaky finger at her, “Don't quote me to me.”
Ella turned from where she’d been plaiting her hair in the mirror and stared at me. She wasn't bluffing. She was not going to pay me if I stayed, and how humiliating would that be? Hiding at work from the one person I used to come to 79’s hoping I would see. My gaze slid back up to the ceiling, as if all the answers to my problems would be spelled out on the water damaged ceiling.
“If this is about Howzer, that's okay.”
Now it was my turn to look put out.
“Really? I gave you the play by play of that train wreck. It ended and we’re both better off, and he's going out with someone else now.”
“But it’d be ok if you were upset about it,” Ella said sincerely. “You guys were seeing each other for a while.”
I waved a hand as if to shoo away her words. She dropped the subject. Howzer had broken off our little fling a few weeks ago. It’d been more embarrassing than anything else, simply because it was the first time I’d been the dumpee. He hadn't made a big scene or told anyone the details. However the absence of someone who’d become such a reliable friend was… notable. It sucked. I’d gotten used to Howzer being around without meaning to. In the end, after a bit of drama that’d been on display for the whole of our staff to ogle, he’d said he was done. Done trying to convince me to let my fixation on another man go.
“ It’s not fair to either of us anymore. We’re both getting too attached when I know it's not going anywhere. We were always going to end up back here, Kenedi. I want someone who only wants me. I know that now. Casual with you just… it’s too much.”
I’d sat stone still on the end of my bed, arms crossed tightly.
“I am... truly sorry, H. Believe me. Please don’t think I did this with any intention of hurting you. I would have never…” My whisper trailed off, knowing that wasn't exactly true. “We’ve had fun though, haven't we?”
He’d smirked and came over to brush his lips lightly across my cheek.
“I’ll see you around. Count on it. Also,” Howzer turned in my doorway, “Give the guy a chance. I think Tech is way too smart to turn you down. I’ve got to head back to Ryloth before the men burn it to the ground. Be safe.”
“You too,” I murmured, but he was already gone.
There seemed to be a comfortable silence stretching between us, in which I started to hope that Ella would change her mind. Side with me as she always had. Let me avoid my problems.
It was too much to ask for I suppose.
“No,” her bright hair bounced as she shook her head vigorously, “I’m putting my foot down. Seriously, Kenedi, go home.”
I slid a hand over my face, letting it rest over my eyes. When I spoke again it was from between clenched teeth. As if saying the words physically pained me. It kinda did.
“E, I’m going to ask you for a favor.”
“Okay?”
“And I need you to not squeal at me, or to try and hug me. It’s just going to make my anxiety worse than it is.”
“Got it.”
“Will you come to my place with me? Just.. help me find something to wear and stay with me until Tech gets there.”
To my surprise, Ella looked concerned.
“Ken, you look a little green. Maybe if it scares you this much then it isn't a good idea for you to go on a date with him.”
“It’s not him that's the problem.”
Which was true, it wasn't. I was self aware enough to know that I’d been alone for so long that just the idea of anything serious gave me hives. That was why I’d always kept everyone at such a distance. In the back of my mind, I knew that if I let myself feel for Tech that it might not be something I recovered from. Not something I would survive if it ended badly.
Or maybe I’d built this whole thing up in my head. Perhaps the date would go awfully and I could let the idea of Tech go. Then I could call up Jesse and Hevy and we'll drown ourselves in Pamarthian wine. That would be Plan 2.. just in case.
“Let's go,” Ella said, slinging her purse over one arm.
I stood and began to jerkily gather my things. It would be fine. Everything would be fine. Dating was supposed to be fun, wasn't it?
“So can I do your hair?” I stifled a groan as I led our way to my speeder.
I did, in the end, let Ella do my hair. The shorter pieces that normally framed my face were curled into loose ringlets. She’d tried to put small pearl clips scattered throughout the deceptively complicated up-do, but I’d protested. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard. Calm, cool, collected. I was calm. Tech had messaged me twice since we’d arrived at my place. Once to say he was on the way, and the second time to ask if I could buzz him up. Ella offered to answer the door.
“Actually could you hide?” She stifled a laugh and wandered into my room just as I heard a knock.
Before I could take a step towards the panel to slide the door open, I felt arms wrap around my shoulders. The smell of vanilla and something floral enveloped me completely. I could feel Ella’s curls tickling the back of my neck as she bent down to embrace me.
“Ugh E, come on! I’ve got to get the door before Tech changes his mind and runs off,” I said, prying her off me.
“Good luck buddy!” With one last squeeze around my neck, Ella skipped into my room and threw herself backwards on the bed. My headboard, and as a result all my bookshelves in there, slammed against the wall. There was no door between my room and the living room, just a curtain of beads. Hopefully there’d be no cause to take Tech beyond the livingroom tonight.
Oh he definitely heard that , I winced at the banging.
He did.
“Is everything alright?” Tech peered around the room behind me, not offering a greeting. “I thought I heard a scuffle.”
I cleared my throat loudly. He wasn't in his armor, though I didn't know why it had surprised me. Most of the clones had some type of civvies to hang out in when they weren't on a mission, the Bad Batch especially. Since they were a smaller force, they were not dispatched as often. There was no Jedi General to drag them from one fight to another. I just haven't ever seen Tech in these garments before. There’d been a few times in the 79's that the Batch had come in and shed the top halves of their armor to get comfortable. That had been torture enough. Seeing the clones in their skin tight designated blacksuits was always a sight that left most of the staff and patrons drooling. I’d thought Ella was going to combust from frustration.
This was something else.
Tech’s clothes were by no means skin tight. He wore a dark brown jacket, the fabric glossy in the lamplight of my kitchen. Cool blues and vibrant green spears of light were scattered across his arms. My gaze trailed along his sleeves, following the curve of them like a constellation of stars. They didn't quite reach the comm cuffed on his wrist, as if the jacket was meant for someone a bit shorter. It hung open, unzipped, over a slightly wrinkled shirt.There seemed to be an oil stain on the hem near his belt. And though it was not his usual leather belt, which housed endless pockets and a variety of tools hanging from it, it did seem low slung in the same way. As he leaned forwards, one hand stuck to the hallway wall, the shirt rode up. The flat planes of his hip peeked out. Tech’s goggles were perched faithfully on his narrow nose. My heart gave a little squeeze
To put it politely, Tech looked adorably rumpled. To put it impolitely, or maybe the better word would be “improperly”-
His eyes darted down to mine, and I realized he was leering above me in his attempt to assess any damage. Tech leaned back onto his heels.
“My apologies. Are you ready to head out? Not that I am in any rush. We could also spend our time here, if that would put you at ease.”
For some reason, this made me feel a bit defensive.
“What makes you think I’m nervous?”
“Your heart rate.”
My eyes widened a bit, barking out a laugh in amazement as a bit of tension left me.
“Have you developed a sixth sense like your brother now? You don't even have your helmet,Tech.”
“I do not need it,” his gaze narrowed a bit. “I can see your pulse racing at your throat. If you have changed your mind about this I would not be upset.”
“Absolutely not. Also stop looking at my throat. I require to be wined and dined before engaging in such scandalous activity.” His brow furrowed. “I was being facetious.”
“Ah. That was funny.”
“Here, come inside. I just need a jacket and my speeder key. Did you walk all the way here?”
Tech stepped inside, the door sliding closed behind him. His hands were clasped behind his back as he began to survey the interior.
“No,” he examined the faded pictures attached to my fridge in an almost clinical manner. “I had Echo drop me off on the roof.”
“I- you jumped onto my roof?” I laughed in bewilderment.
“Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I fell onto it, since I slid down a steel cable. It was easy enough to find my way down from there.”
“Then why did you ask me to buzz you in from the front door?”
“Echo advised that I not brief you on how I got into your building, but your initial reaction led me to believe you would find it more amusing than anything else. Was I correct?”
“You always are,” I threw my bag over my shoulder. “If you were anyone else I’d be annoyed about that, just so you know.”
“I will note the momentous privilege I’ve been granted, then.”
“Make sure you get a timestamp on there. Alright, I’m good to go.”
“They also advised that I try not to ramble as much as I often do, so as to not bore you. Of course I have found that the more invested I am in a topic the more I have to say on it. Though I fail to see how that would pose an issue so long as the person I am conversing with has a shared interest in it as well. My brothers can tend to tune me out.”
“Anecdoche.”
Tech blinked, then “hmmed” quietly.
As we started walking out, I froze. My keys. They were in my room. With Ella. My head whipped around, hearing the distinct soft jingle of beads. A pale hand with sparkly nails held out the key between two fingers. I darted over to snatch them, jogging back as Tech turned.
“After you. Actually,” Tech tilted his head to the side. He was looking at the chrome door as if trying to decipher something in another language.
He turned, “Would you mind if I left this here? It’s Hunters, and while he insisted I wear it, it’s inhibiting my range of movement.”
Tech shrugged off the jacket and shook it. I nodded and indicated he could toss it on the floating island.
“Ahem, as I said earlier: After you.”
I did my best not to stare too intently at his arms. Tech wasn't bulky like most of the clones were. He and Crosshair were tall, almost willowy in stature. But there were distinct lines of muscle that made it clear he was more than capable of throwing around droids on the battlefield. Though Tech definitely used smarter strategies than that.
We took the lift downstairs in companionable silence. Tech seemed to be lost in thought, which wasn't anything new. He’d often gone silent, sometimes in the middle of a sentence, at 79’s. I started to wonder if maybe offering me a way out was in the hopes I would take it. No, that was not the line of thinking I would go into this with. It’d taken a lot for me to ask him out, and Tech had accepted happily. Or he appeared excited about the prospect.
“So, what’s the plan for tonight?”
“There is a book shop I feel we would both enjoy on one of the mid-levels. That is our first stop. Then the rest of the night is a surprise. To both of us really.”
“I don't understand.”
“Would you be averse to me driving?” Tech looked at me.
I’d always declined on previous dates. I haven't even let Howzer drive my bike.
“Can I ask why?”
He seemed to really consider the question before answering. Not in a calculating way, but as if he truly hadn’t given the request any thought before asking it.
“This is a romantic outing,” Tech said softly. “I thought it would be prudent to establish that should you decide, at the end of this excursion, that you would like to pursue a formal courtship with me… Well- I wanted to show you how I would conduct myself if we were together.”
“And you would prefer to drive if we were dating because..?” I let the implications hang between us.
Tech’s eyes widened behind his goggles.
“It is not because you are a woman. You-you told me in our messages how anxious flight made you when you were younger. That you felt you had no choice but to conquer it in order to be independent. This,” he took the keys from my outstretched hand, “is merely a way I would want to show affection. You dislike flying, I rather enjoy it.”
There it was again, the fluttering. Despite the blush in my cheeks, I grinned.
“You’re sure it has nothing to do with having a woman of above average looks wrap her arms around you?”
He held out a hand so I could swing my leg over, shooting me an exasperated look. Without his helmet it was easier to see how expressive his face was. The secret smiles I’d caught from Tech at 79’s were sometimes all that got me through a shift. It was one of my favorite things about him.
“You simply will not let that go, will you?”
“First impressions are forever, Tech. Can I uh..” I held out my hands on either side of his waist.
Tech covered my ringed hands with his calloused ones, pulling them around his waist and powering up the speeder.
“Are you ready?” There was a boyish energy to his voice now. “I’ve been told I fly fast.”
I pressed forward, hiding my smile against Tech’s back, and nodded.
END
(DELETED SCENE)
It wasn't just a bookshop. It was a famous bookshop. Famous to the probably three people on the planet who’d read the fantasy books I had. The one I’d memorized to the point of obsession. It’d been the first book Tech had read of mine. He’d accidentally gone home with it after the first time we’d met. Later I’d gotten him to confess he’d known he’d tucked it into his belt, and had merely been curious based on the cover. In the book there’d been dozens of settings based on the lower and mid-levels of Coruscant, since that was where the author had written it.
We’d gotten to the shop, and Tech had promptly asked the soft spoken old twi’lek at the desk if we could pile our purchases behind the counter.
“Because there will be many,” Tech half-whispered at my raised brow.
And there were. We picked out books we wanted each other to read, to continue our ongoing unofficial book club. Tech’s choices were more non-fiction than my own, but that was fine by me. He chose ones that I would enjoy. Texts about how to write the kind of books I liked to read. He hadn't read those himself but thought I might like them based on the descriptions. I’d never mentioned wanting to write to him, though the knowing smirk Tech gave me made it clear he’d guessed. It was a mountain of a pile, which I insisted on paying for half of. His protests were well thought out and concise. They made no difference to me. Chivalry scored high in my book, but I had to draw my line in the sand somewhere.
I had, however, allowed him to pay the extra fee to get all the stacks delivered to my apartment. Then Tech had tugged my hand back toward the speeder. I didn't comment on how for the rest of the night he did not let go. Not when he flew us to a view from atop a bridgeway and began to recite:
“The darkness of the crystal moon beamed down on us. The bridge had long since been abandoned since the last King Ermon fell. Flowers with their vines wrapped around the turrets-” I gasped, arms tightening around Tech’s waist.
“This is from my book. Tech, you memorized my book?” I was incredulous.
“I have an eidetic memory. This is said to be the location of the main character's realization that her mission is flawed.”
My smile was so wide it hurt my face, “Yes, it is.”
Despite how high up we were, I leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek. Tech’s face became warm. I could feel the heat of him radiating like a furnace. He tightened his hands on the steering and spoke clearly.
“On to the next.”
When it began to grow late, Tech said he had one more spot to show me. I’d half guessed it already. It was the zero-gravity aquarium. It was a place mainly meant for children. However it was the place that had inspired the first kissing scene of the two main love interests in my book. It wouldn't be straight from the page, given that the characters had been flying with feathered wings- but I got the gist. Both of our faces were burning as we entered. It was surprisingly empty of younglings though.
Not all of the creatures behind the glass were bioluminescent, but the ones that were shone bright as a star. The curving glass all around us was throwing shards of bright lights around like a kaleidoscope of color. I could feel Tech’s gaze on me as I spun around, feeling a sense of wonder I’d never quite experienced before.
I made a noise of surprise as a weightless feeling overcame me. Tech had pressed the paneling near the door. I floated upwards to the glass ceiling, laying a hand along the bright water as neon fish swirled by. Tech popped up beside me. He leered over my shoulder and began pointing out the names of creatures he knew. I snorted as he began recounting a story of how Wrecker had tried to catch fish by hand on a mission once, when they’d been short on rations. Without thinking, I leaned back into Tech as the anti-gravity wore off and we touched back down. He froze.
Very slowly, the hand that was not pointing at the glass came up to rest on my waist. Steeling myself, I turned to look up. Tech’s brown eyes were, for lack of a less-cheesy term, smoldering. His gaze started at the top of my hair and traveled down to my lips, lingering there.
“Well,” his voice was dry, as if he needed water desperately. Tech clenched his jaw and tried again.
“Should I recite this passage as well? It seems required.”
I was shocked at how even my voice came out.
“You know very well I have it memorized. I know what happens now.”
“If you want it to,” Tech murmured.
Instead of replying, I reached up a hand to place it on Tech’s bare forearm. As I stepped closer he bent down to meet me halfway. Smiling, I ghosted my lips over his and pulled back again. His were soft, and there was a thin white scar on Tech’s nose. When I opened my eyes again, Tech looked dazed. He blinked as if waking from a dream.
“Basorexia,” Tech said.
My hand tightened around his wrist and I whispered, “The overwhelming desire to kiss.”
He pressed his lips firmly against mine. The kiss was unyielding, insistent. It almost felt as if Tech didn't want to kiss me at all. Like he was trying to steal back a breath I had taken from him. My resolve melted. Any part of me that had been holding back for fear of getting hurt was shot to hell. I lifted a shaky hand to pull Tech down further to my height, and he relaxed under the touch. I walked backwards and probably would have banged my head into the glass if not for Tech’s hand on the back of my hair.
When I pulled away for air, his mouth chased mine. I pressed a thumb to his lower lip and breathed out a laugh. Tech grinned a little sheepishly.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be, please don't be sorry,” I pressed my lips together. “Just to be clear though- about my book, Tech…”
“What about it?”
“We are not having the same ending,” I said, with mock sternness.
Tech leaned down to kiss my temple, “I thought that was obvious.”
END END