Archive of Our Own

It was almost- no, it was eerily quiet in 79’s. It had been for a while. I could hear Dev humming in dissonance with the air vents as they cleaned what was probably an already spotless kitchen. It was way past too-fucking-long since we had heard from the boys. Jesse and Fives had walked in, in full armor, when they’d gotten Rex’s call. He’d sounded frantic. But he always sounded like that. They’d put their scuffed buckets on and dashed out the door without a word. Not even so much as a two fingered salute or a one-liner. 

That wasn’t what worried me. 

There had been many a time when Wolffe had strode in and hauled Sinker and Boost out by the back of their belts. I’d always just gone back to work.

This didn’t feel the same. I had always heard something from someone . The tiniest indicator of life. I hadn’t been the type to ever fuss at my friends to let me know how the war was going. What kind of an idiot would ask such a thing? Not I.

They were grown… ish. And they had more important things to worry about. 

The signs had come unsolicited, but always welcome. They took different forms: a picture of a mangled droid from Wrecker. Blurred snapshots of Fives and Jesse tangled together on a bunk, coming back from a mission. Whether it was from Tup or Kix, their hands always shook with laughter. If I heard anything from the other Batchers, I’d know it was alright to message Crosshair. He never pinged me first, yet I had always gotten a response. Monosyllabic but prompt.

And Tech. So many messages from Tech that sometimes it distracted me from actually watching the door. That was the true basis of my panic. Especially now that we were… Whatever we were.

Dating? Or would courting be more accurate? Perhaps we were just very good friends.

Not that I made it a habit to kiss my friends.

Irritation rose in me. Not at him, but at myself. When had I become the type of person who cared about labels?

The downfall of a strong character. True love.

I cracked my neck in the sudden silence. Dev started up again. Ella had sent Deena and the waitstaff home. They were all supposed to watch their comms in case something changed. The singing was starting to grate on my nerves. I tried to inhale slowly, nails digging into my palms.

They would be fine. They were always fine. And if they weren’t then Coruscant would spin on. It was a war. Statistically, not all of them would survive. The sky would not fall.

Bile rose in my throat as it tightened against the very idea of a galaxy without the clones.

A life without the Bad Batch.

How I had gotten along before meeting them, I couldn’t remember. I would have to do without Echo’s expressive face and dry remarks. Though I wasn’t usually the affectionate type, Wrecker’s boisterous laugh in my ear as he spun me around was not something I wanted to forget. I’d spend the rest of my life without Jesse’s teasing. Without watching the seriousness leave Hunter as he watched his squad like a doting mother. 

And Ella. It wasn’t just me who would be losing something integral. But I would never again see Ella stutter in Hunter’s presence. See her get flustered over a man so lethal, and yet that man panicked when she was in the room.

I’d taken it all for granted. Not realizing I was in the glory days until now they were long over.

An existence without Cross and T-

“You haven’t heard anything?” I finished my counting before attempting an answer.

My tone wasn’t as kind as I meant it to come out.

“Like I said a little while ago, Ella- no. Radio silence.”

Her frown deepened. She reached up and pulled her knitted sweater tighter around her frame. It was not especially cold out tonight, but I knew the wind wasn’t what Ella was guarding herself against.

“Not even from Tech?”

“I feel like I’m talking to L-9 when he’s powered down. I said nothing. There’s no hidden meaning behind the word “nothing,” is there? Nothing. That includes the Batch.”

Ella sounded hurt, “I was just asking.”

I rounded on her. 

“Well I wish you’d stop. Stop wringing your hands and staring at the back of my head, waiting for me to call a Code Red. It’s a waste of time and energy. All you’re doing is making me feel worse. Just-”

Though she was almost comically taller than me, Ella felt smaller somehow. Like I was the one looking down on her. Her bright curls were tumbling down from her hairclip, frizzed from where she’d been carding her fingers through it. For once, her name tag was askew. It suddenly struck me how wrinkled her shirt was as well. 

The rest of the retort died on my tongue. Ella continued to stare at her shoes, nodding to herself.

“Alright well,” she said quietly, “back to work then.” She spun on her heel and marched back towards the bar.

Suddenly exhausted, I fell onto my stool and pressed my thumbs to my temples. Yelling had drained me of the last of my energy. She was just worried. And though it had felt good to release some of my frustration, it was not fair to unleash it upon El.

I would apologize, as I always did, once my heartbeat had slowed.

“Looks like business is really booming.”

A woman stood in front of me. She wore a brown faded jacket, hair piled atop her head, adorned with gold clasps. The familiar sight of her was a welcome relief.

“Phee.”

“Chin up. The clones are like swarming bugs. I’m sure they’ll buzz on in at some point and cause all kinds of trouble.”

Sitting up straight, I rolled my eyes at her ridiculously apt analogy. I never saw Jesse without Fives. And vice versa. The boys did tend to travel in packs.

“Here to meet with your buyer on the upper levels again?”

Phee shrugged mysteriously, folding one arm over the other.

“His pockets run deep. Wanted to thank you for putting me in touch. Old guy has a real appreciation for the treasures I come across.”

I smirked, “Pirate.”

“Hey now, dont get snarky with me. That's not all I came for.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“It is,” Phee covertly glanced around, then stepped closer and lowered her voice. “If you still want answers.”

I stared at her for half a beat, then stood and gathered all my things. Gesturing for Phee to follow, I slammed my stool down at the bar. Ella jumped and shot me a look. It didn’t take long for me to toss my jacket in Ella’s office and power down my devices. My comm as well. Phee and Ella exchanged hello’s as Dev took off for the night.

“Ella,” I reached for her wrist.

She jerked back as if I’d burned her, giving me a look that made it clear I was not yet forgiven. Fair enough.

Phee’s gaze darted between us curiously. She hadn’t known us long. Her work kept her away from the Core Worlds, which she had explained to me. However recently she had lost an ally and been out a considerable amount of credits. People in the Capital had vaults of money on hand, so this had been her best bet to settle her accounts. 

It had been around the time everything had started to get weird. Public channels of the Republic’s triumphs had become filled with static. We had heard big picture statements, but nothing of the fate of the men who had fought so hard for a future they might not even see.

I had seen Phee around, and since I hadnt been anywhere other than Coruscant and Pamarthe.. Well, I figured making more well-traveled friends might prove useful.

My pleas were quiet, “E, come on, dont shut me out right now. Phee has a… business idea to put to you. Just some information that might get our profits up.” I spoke slowly.

Ella looked at Phee as if the woman had come in holding a baby loth cat. I jerked my chin towards the staircase, shouting for L-9 to come pull his weight and watch everything. He was flitting around the kitchen and re-checking Dev’s work. A waste of time. 

This time when I reached to tug at Ella’s arm, she let me.

Phee kicked her feet up as I slid a circle of metal from my pocket and flipped it open. Ella shut the curtains tightly. I slid a thumb over the red ring in the middle, cringing almost imerceptibly at the buzzing noise it emitted. I sat it on the center of the table as Phee kicked her boots onto it. Despite her lax pose, there was tension in her face.

“Might not be what you want to hear.”

Ella frowned, “What does that mean? Ken, what did you do ?”

“Bad news is better than no news. What did you hear, Phee?”

“Word is that the monks-”

“The Jedi,” I corrected.

“Ngk, whatever you say. That they tried to kill the Chancellor. Wanted to take over and run the galaxy.”

“There's no way! They’re heroes, the good guys. We know some of them, and the boys have never had a bad thing to say about them. Wolffe especially, and he has bad things to say about almost everyone. That’s just- Ken, back me up. They wouldnt do that, right?”

I wouldn’t even look at her. 

“What else?” I spoke through gritted teeth, hearing iin Phee’s voice that this was not the worst of it.

Her gaze was steady, “On one word from the Chancellor, the clones turned on the Jedi and shot them all down. Killed every one they could get their hands on. They’re gone.” Now Phee looked at Ella.

“The wars over.”

We had heard the last part of course, but hadn’t processed it fully.

If the Clone War was over then where were the clones? I had seen some of the Coruscant Guard around in the past week, but they’d never been much for 79’s in the past. The wide berth they’d given our street didn’t surprise me.

It was unsettling how much Phee’s claims made sense. Though it went against what I had seen of the Order members in our few encounters, I couldn’t deny the evidence. 

Ella had called me in the dead of night not long ago, sounding frantic. She had seen smoke rising in billowing clouds from the Jedi Temple. Half asleep, I had reassured her that if the war was ending, then it was probably a last desperate strike from the other side. That if we hadn’t heard about evac we just needed to stay inside.

I felt another wave of guilt crash over me. A big part of me had just been irritated. She'd woken me after such a long shift. 

I’d called her dramatic, told her to go back to bed.

“It’s not- they couldn’t,” Ella was still shaking her head.

The war was over. 

Wasn’t that the one thing we’d all been working towards? Even the staff, in our own way. Now it felt tainted.

This was wrong, all wrong.

“What’re you thinking over there?” Phee leaned her elbows on the table, leering at me. “Not going to tell me I’m a liar?”

My mind was racing.

“No,” I said slowly, ignoring Ella’s look of betrayal. “We- we didn’t know the Jedi the way we did the boys. They knew the Jedi in a way we could never understand.. If they really did try to overt-”

“Shut up,” Ella said fiercely. “Fives would never hurt General Skywalker.”

“We don’t know what happened.”

“Ken!”

“ Ella . We have to think about this based on what we know. Be rational. None of them have come back except some of the Guard, what does that say to you?”

“Don’t do that. Do not act like you don’t care.”

“I’m not.”

“If you’re done with the live theater,” Phee said, waving a hand.

I fell into the booth across from her.

“I want to go home,” I murmured into my hands.

“Where’s home?”

I wasn’t even sure anymore.

My apartment had felt like a tomb for the last few dozen rotations. So many relics of the family I’d curated loomed around me. It was like living amongst ghosts, all of them screaming for my attention. A stack of colorful volumes on my crooked shelves. The matte black of a cracked scope on my nightstand. And pictures. So many blurred images both printed and holos, taped along my walls and displayed on my fridge.

Ella had been peeking out of the thick red curtain dividing us from the balcony. She had basically built this place from the ground up when she’d come into ownership. Invested so much time, credits, and love into the place.

Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to just offer an apology. Ugh, I’d probably have to hug her or something.

Phee seemed to be studying us both, then came to a decision. She nodded affirmingly at her own thoughts.

“Not to be a downer,” she said to Ella’s still turned back, “but they’re probably gonna shut you down, Red. Or at best they’ll cut your budget. Clones won’t need much in the way of morale since we’re all peaceful now.” Phee spat the word “peace” like it was a curse.

“Thank you, Genoa,” I said tightly. “That’s very empathetic.”

“I was going for honest. Let me talk, Shortstop.” I glared but stayed silent. “This is the heart of the Empire now. If you want out..”

“For how much?” The ice in Ella’s tone shocked us all.

Phee raised an eyebrow so high it almost hit her blue headband.

“You cared about them. The clones.”

Neither of us spoke. There was nothing that could be said to encompass what they meant to us. Well… nothing I would ever say outloud.

“Just consider it,” she shrugged.

“Y’know you haven’t actually said anything.”

“I’ve got a place. It’s a safe spot if you two wanted to take a vacation from all this mess,” Phee templed her hands. “Regimes fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that, I’m-”

“A pirate,” I interjected, smiling tiredly.

“Liberator of ancient wonders.”

Ella looked at me, then to the floor.

“I don’t know.”

“We have nothing holding us here, E. Phee is right, we’re on borrowed time. And the only reason I’ve stayed so long was because of the boys. Jess, Fives, Cr-'' My voice cracked. “I can't exist here without them.”

“They might come home,” Ella said meekly.

I looked at her steadily.

“This isn’t much of one. Not anymore. Listen if- if we weren’t here.. If we left and saved up for a ship, had a safe place to come back and forth from then…”

“What?” I set my jaw.

“I would look for them. You once told Fives you thought I’d wage another war to defend the clones and I rolled my eyes but… I would. We could look for them.”

There was a pause. It was so long, I wondered if Ella was even going to respond. Maybe she was realizing I was insane and thinking about which girl would replace me as I flew off with Phee.

“Okay.”

“O-okay?”

“Yes. But I wanna leave a note for the girls and Ed.”

I nodded once, “Record it on L-9 and I’ll progam it to delete after playing.”

“Who taught you how to- oh, right.. Nevermind.” 

She scratched a painted nail along the table. CT numbers had been carved there, overlapped and jumbled. We both looked to Phee as she stood and reached for the sky.

“Pack for warm weather, ladies. I’ll be out front in a few hours. Shortstop, wait for my call. Move quick, I have a date.”

Two hours later I stood in the exact spot I had been in the last few years of my life. Jesse had joked more than once that it looked like I’d worn a groove into the stone. It was true, there was a dip here where I always paced and perched my stool.

I’d thrown only essentials into my backpack. Things that could not be replaced with any amount of money. A printed, framed photo of Jesse and I, cheeks flushed with wine. The first edition copy of my favorite novel, given to me on my last origin day by Tech (and Crosshair, though he still denied having contributed to the funds.) My sister’s necklace. And that was all. The only things I could not live without, all stuffed hapazardly into a ratty second hand gym bag I’d bought in my teen years. I wasnt sure if I should be relieved at the convenience of it, or sad at how little a mark I had left on this planet.

I jolted as Ella spoke from beside me, “I think I overpacked.” 

She unceremoniously let her bags fall to the ground like stones. Her cheeks were pink with strain. She reached up to brush back her bangs, giving me an awkward half grin. We stood in a silence that wasn’t completely comfortable for a long while.

I hadn’t heard back from Phee again, and part of me started to wonder if she’d changed her mind. I’d also made sure to program L-9 before going home. Ella had had all the time she’d wanted to say whatever she thought was so important to the rest of the staff. I, personally, didnt think there was anything to say. Everyone knew how I felt about them, and if they didn’t then that was telling enough in my opinion. 

I was shit at goodbyes.

“So,” I said, cringing at how high my voice had come out. “About earlier, you know when you came out to ask me about the boys.”

Ella pursed her lips, still not looking at me dead on.

“I remember it, vaguely.” I pinched the bridge of my nose between two fingers.

“I was,” I cracked my neck and looked up at the night sky, “you know? Anxious. Not good when I’m worried and help-” I looked at her. “And sometimes you can be really..” I made a vague shape in the air with my hand.

“But I shouldn’t, and I know that. So there.”

“Very… succinctly put, Ken.”

“Ella.”

“I could always demand a real apology, as per the written terms of our friendship,” she said teasingly.

My face went dark, “No.”

When Phee appeared, I quickly tossed all our bags on the floor of the landspeeder. I also made sure to do my best to make it seem as though I didn’t almost throw out my shoulder. Ella must’ve packed all her hair products. Or maybe a few boulders.

“Alright,” Phee said loudly, clearly trying to break whatever moment we were having as we stared at 79’s.

“Let's get this show on the road.”

We had fallen asleep promptly upon takeoff. Though, for myself, it was restless. I trusted Phee, clearly, otherwise we would not be here. It was just that her flying was a little… erratic.

“I know you’re awake, Shortstop.”

“Really wish you’d call me Kenedi,” I grumbled, walking over.

“And I really wish you’d quit moving around and strap in, you’re gonna fall over when we enter the atmosphere.”

I eyed the white streams of light tunneled around us. Phee huffed and rolled her eyes when I continued to stand stubbornly. She clicked a few buttons. As predicted, I stumbled forward awkwardly, catching myself on the copilot chair and glaring. Ella yawned and sat up on the bench behind us. 

“Welcome to island life, ladies.”

Phee introduced us to the mayor and his daughter first. Shep seemed nice, and chuckled when I gave Phee a sharp look as she apologized for bringing in “more strays.”

“Y’know, Ella used to be a teacher back in the day.”

“Before the droids became cheaper to hire,” Ella mumbled.

“I know the school is a little shortstaffed,” Phee went on, turning to give me a quick wink. “Sorry, Shortstop. They don’t need security.”

Lyana beamed and beckoned for Ella to follow her. Apparently she wanted to show her where they held classes. Ella looked at me, but I just offered to take her bags again. She was already looking brighter at the idea. Shep told his daughter to be back for dinner, and to make Ella feel welcome. That they could always use more people to wrangle in the kids.

He gestured for me to follow him, offering to take a bag- which I declined. (In hindsight, not my best move. The walk turned out to be far, and the sun started to burn the back of my neck.)

“Thank you,” I said unevenly, trying not to sound as out of breath as I was. “For doing this, letting us stay. I don’t know how much Phee told you about us but.. Well, you must trust her a lot.”

Shep hummed. “Don’t you?”

I said nothing. He smiled though, and nodded as if I had.

“Pabu is a good place for a fresh start. Phee is a pretty good judge of character.”

Part of me wondered if we were taking the scenic route. Fishermen were pulling in their stock in mismatched boats, bobbing along blue waters. The stairs we climbed were an amalgamation of various stones, all different textures and sizes. It was idyllic.

Shep prattled on casually as we went. He told me we were heading to his house to leave our bags so I could wander the island a bit without the extra workout. A few volunteers would be setting up an empty house that had just been built on the lower levels. Rebuilt, actually, according to him.

I started to dig in my duffel for credits, but Shep shook his head.

“Keep it,” he reassured me. “You worked security on Coruscant?”

I searched for hints of doubt in his tone, but couldnt detect any.

“Of a sort. Not exactly what I want to do for the rest of my existence.”

“Fair enough. It’s just that we have a few other newcomers helping keep things in order since our last storm.”

“Oh?”

“Nothing to worry about, we’ve got a better system in place. All updated and ready to go. But rebuilds can take a bit of time. If youre not against hard labor I’m sure theyd welcome the help. We all would.” He opened the door, letting me go first.

I stowed our bags in a corner of what Shep said was his home office. He started fiddling with papers, so I went back out into the middle room. There was a slight breeze coming from between a curtain of seashells and colored glass that dangled on strings. A balcony. I carefully moved them to the side so I could step out onto it. Coruscant had a beautiful sunset, but something told me it would have nothing on Pabu’s. I laid a hand on the stone railing, looking out on the small clusters of people in the square. The brightly patterned towels laid out on the beach. The air felt different here too, lighter somehow.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Shep appeared at my side. “You didn’t leave anyone back home? Phee didn’t say much about you. Is Ella your sister?”

I snorted. 

“No. To both your questions. There were a few friends, a handful of people that I would’ve considered family. They’re gone now. Ella would be an asset for your school, though. Kids love her. She’s good with those sticky handed little monsters. If the Republic hadn’t been so desperate to save money and funnel it into the war, she’d probably still be a teacher right now.”

He nodded, “I’ll let them know to expect her for an interview.”

“Good. And about the labor job- I’d be happy to help. I could use the money and the distraction. Just direct me to my new boss.” I tried to smile, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes.

“I prefer not to be a freeloader.”

“Well alright then,” Shep patted my shoulder, looking down at me with gratitude.

It took everything in me not to shrug it off.

A sudden woosh of air came overhead. The crack of a ship entering the atmosphere from hyperspace, like the snap of a treebranch. I looked up. My stomach dropped like a stone laid atop a cloud. Shep might have spoken again, but he sounded a far distance off. His hand fell from my shoulder. Only a second later did I realize it was because I had stepped out from under it. Staggered was probably a more apt description.

I pushed my way towards a gate just off the side of the balcony between two bushes of blossoms. There were a few people milling around, but most had cleared the space for the ship that was now landing. I stood in the shade of a looming tree, shivering as a few petals shook loose and brushed my arms. Someone stood on my right.

“Didn’t wanna ruin the surprise,” Phee said, by way of greeting. “Guess I should’ve known Brown Eyes would fly back early and spoil my fun. For someone so smart he’s pretty-”

“Tech,” my voice sounded like I was about to cry. 

Which of course, I was not. It felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. My palms were slick with sweat.

“So you do know them. I wasn’t sure if youd be able to name every clone. Honestly the fact that these ones came out to party is kind of a shocker. Were you close?”

The Marauder landed smoothly. Distantly, I could hear Lyana approaching, and even more ditantly I registered that that meant Ella was back too. She made a strangled noise as the ramp came down. 

Wrecker and Echo came out first. Then Hunter, who froze immediately on the top step. Eyes locked on us. Even from where we stood, I could see the shock register.

He looked very briefly at Phee and I, then his gaze slid past us again. His next few steps down were quick, then he seemed to pause as if remembering something, looking back into the ship.

It felt like someone put bricks into my boots. I jerked back as a flash of red whizzed by me. Phee put a hand on my back to steady me.

Ella was darting past, almost running. Hunter seemed to finally gain momentum again. He was walking briskly to meet her.

A girl followed after Hunter, though she seemed to buffer at the sight of Hunter staring down at Ella in front of him. Her little blonde head tilted to the side. Lyana waved and ran forward, chatting at a rapid pace to the girl.

Ella had wrapped her small arms around Hunter’s neck, one of his winding tightly around her waist, the other hand burying itself in her hair.

The girl was openly gaping now. She seemed to be trying to drag Lyana over to Echo and Wrecker.

“Wow,” Phee said dramatically, “I didn’t know Hunter knew how to smile at anyone other than the kid.”

It was a fifty-fifty chance which one of them would come out of the Marauder next.

He seemed to appear between one blink and the next. It had not struck me yet that the ramp was going back up after him. That sinking feeling disappeared as if it had never existed, replaced by a buzzing of nerves.

He was more tan. His posture still abysmal. Tech continued to get closer to us without looking up from his screen once. Only when he stopped beside Hunter and turned to speak to him, did he process the girl hanging from his neck. His eyes widened behind his goggles, head snapping around.

All the air left my lungs, and blood rushed to my face simultaniously.

The Girl was standing a little ways off, but I could feel her gaze. She pointed aggressively at Hunter and Ella. Wrecker’s gaze followed her gesture. He shouted, half shoving Echo and bounding over to where Hunter had finally let Ella down.

Tech was still glued to the same spot. His hands were opening and closing at his sides.

Echo was behind him, exchanging greetings with El most likely. I saw him give Tech an exasperated look, and then elbow him in the side. When Tech spun around to shoot him a look, Echo pretended to be fully invested in whatever Wrecker was saying. Tech turned back, seemed to shake himself, then came over.

“You are here.”

Tech sounded like he’d uncovered the answer to an equation he had been struggling with for some time. Equal parts satisfaction, awe, and… pride?

My voice came out embarrassingly hoarse, “You hate when people state the obvious.

His lip twitched.

“How did you find us?”

“Relax, Brown Eyes. You’re not compromised. I brought them here.”

Tech seemed to remember she was there, and went to step back a little. A flash of panic gripped me, and I reached out to snag his wrist.

Phee looked at me in surprise. I let go instantly.

He hadn’t tried to pull away, but I was mortified all the same. He wasn’t going anywhere, I wasn’t sure why I’d reacted that way. Tech, to his credit, didn’t comment on it. Just stared down at me. That endearingly familiar line appeared between his eyebrows.

“Hello.” It was The Girl.

She’d appeared at Tech’s side. Smiling as bright as the sun, she waved.

“My name’s Omega.”

“Oh, alright. I-I mean I’m-” I looked between the two of them, a question forming on my lips.

“KEN!” Wrecker wrapped me in his arms and spun me.

By the time he set me down I was breathless from laughing. Slightly dizzy as well. I stumbled, but this time it wasn’t Phee who steadied me, it was Tech. His hand splayed between my shoulder blades. The pressure grounded me. 

Hunter ambled over, hand in Ella’s.

Omega seemed to be almost vibrating with excitement. She was grinning unabashedly at Hunter, clear hero-worship on her face. Apparently they’d done their own little introduction while I was busy trying not to fall over. Tech’s eyes were still on me. I could almost feel Phee’s smugness like poke in my ribs. I felt Tech’s hand brush my elbow as Echo came to hug me.

I wanted, more than anything, to ask him about Jesse. About all the 501st. But this was such a huge win, I couldn’t bring myself to spoil it with the possibility of bad news.

Hunter gave me a nod, which I returned with an eye roll.

He looked from Ella to me, “Ken, how did you-”

“Phee. Short story. But what about you? All of you- you couldn’t send either of us a damn message to say you were still breathing air? You absolute-”

“Ken,” Ella frowned.

I took a breath, not realizing how angry I’d been.

“What happened out there?”

Hunter’s face became dark. At least that hadn’t changed.

“That’s kind of a longer story.”

My eyes didn’t leave his, “And… where is Cross?”

All of the boys looked down. Tech stepped forward and into my direct line of sight. I felt pressure around my wrist. He was squeezing so tightly it almost hurt.

Not good at all.

I was going to be sick.

Omega spoke loudly in the silence, clearly having picked up Wrecker’s talent for whispering.

“Since when does Tech do that? Does he always stare at her like that?”

I gave Omega a half startled half amused look and cleared my throat, looking anywhere but at Tech. I reached up a hand for her to shake. She was perched comfortably on Wrecker’s shoulders.

“I’ve been told he does. I’m Kenedi.” 

Omega looked to Hunter, who nodded, one arm around Ella’s waist. She took my hand in hers, clearly trying to squeeze it as tight as possible.

I pressed my lips together. It reminded me of the first time I’d met Jesse. I’d given him so much crap for his loose handshake that he’d tried to break my fingers the next time we’d met.

I turned to Echo, “Seriously though, I think I want a rundown of what the f-”

“Ken, language!” Ella looked pointedly at the kids, who were giggling.

“Oh- ah, right. My bad.”

Phee spoke up, “We can use Shep’s place. He won’t mind, right Ly?”

The walk there was mostly silent. My brain started to replay the way I’d ran from the balcony. I started to worry that Shep would think I was rude for dashing off amidst his hospitality. When I tried to apologize though, he waved me off with a laugh. Said a reunion of old friends was never something to apologize for. That those moments of happiness were to be celebrated.

I was still hyperaware of where Tech was every step of the way. He wasn’t by my side every minute, but I had a feeling we were tracking one another. He’d released my wrist when I’d stepped up to greet Omega. When our group headed back up the island, Tech had walked silently between Phee and I.

Ella seemed to be in a better place. Better than I’d seen her in a long time. Hunter had yet to let her go. He kept staring down at her as if reminding himself she was real. The high points of her cheeks were flush, and I doubted it was from the sun.

Everyone looked so different. Obviously they’d changed their armor, but that wasn’t the whole of it. It was the way they held themselves. The way they all looked at Omega constantly. Especially Hunter. When he wasn’t staring at Ella he was looking at-

“Sister?” I choked out.

Phee reached around to hit me on the back as I inhaled my water. Omega looked a little smug and nodded.

“Technically I’m older than them too.”

I looked to Echo, already dreading the next part, but knowing I’d have to be the one to ask.

“And.. Everyone else?” He shook his head slightly.

Ella turned her face away as I looked at her. Her hands were laced together tightly on the tabletop, almost like she was praying. It was becoming harder to breathe again, like someone was standing on my chest.

Hunter took over telling their story from there. My fists were clenched so tightly that my knuckles were white, my hands shaking. Tears seemed to have evaded me. I stared dry eyed as Echo spoke, relaying monotonously what he had heard from Rex about the 501st.

Tech jumped in frinally when it came to explaining the chips. With Echo quietly reminding him of Fives’ part in that.

That seemed to be Ella’s undoing. Her face was in her hands, which became too much for Hunter. He placed gloved hands on her shoulders and pulled her to stand. 

“Maybe we should take a break. Give everyone some time to…”

Everyone took that as a cue to disperse. Echo and Wrecker trailed out of the gate, mumbling about repairs for the ship, their faces somber. Tech stood as well, but sat back down after Hunter spoke to him as he led Ella inside.

Omega, surprisingly enough, came to stand in front of the chair I’d half pulled away from the table. I was still seated, but was angled as if I’d been going to walk off as well. I looked at her blankly.

“You cared about them. The clones.” It wasn’t a question.

I could feel Tech’s eyes on us.

“They were all I had,” I croaked.

She set a small hand on my shoulder.

“Come on Omega,” Echo led her away.

Phee placed a cool hand between my shoulder blades. It was the first time I had seen her pretty face configured into an expression that was not amusement. The lack of humor, or at the very least mild exasperation, was almost shocking. 

“You look green.”

“I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

Her hand slid around as she knelt to meet my gaze. The pressure of her fingers seemed to be the only thing keeping me from sinking into the floor.

“Hey now,” Phee squeezed my shoulder until I looked at her. “Hold fast, Shortstop. You’re tough. You’ll make it through.”

Before she walked out, she stopped beside where Tech was typing on his datapad. The way Phee placed a hand on his arm and murmured made my eyes narrow, despite everything I’d just heard. 

I stood, my chair making an obnoxiously loud scraping noise. It almost toppled over completely. Darkness was creeping in at the edges of my vision. It felt as if the cobblestones were spinning.

“Kenedi.”

I slammed my hands down on the stone edge overlooking Pabu. My breaths were coming in short pants, my knees felt as they did after a long shift.

The yellow of Tech’s goggles came into view, but he was blurry. There was pressure against the center of my palms.

“You are having a panic attack. Here, sit down where you are. On the ground, yes, and put your head between your knees.”

All I could see were the colored stones between my boots. My heartbeat had slowed. A bit. But my hands, which were intertwined at the back of my neck, were trembling.

“Would you like some water?” Tech’s voice was slowly becoming more clear.

As if he’d been calling to me from the end of a long tunnel, and now he was walking closer and closer.

“Talk.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I need you to just-” I inhaled slowly, trying to count backwards. “Tech I can’t, I cannot th-think so I just- I need you to please. Talk. Anything .”

“Ah, of course. You wish for a distraction from your own thoughts, and given how prone I am to fits of long winded explanations you seek one such thing. I will do my best. Let's see… Well,” he hesitated, “I did have the thought to send you a message. Encrypted, obviously. Hunter wanted to do more.”

“And then?”

Tech looked at me dryly, “You know very well that given our current predicament and status as fugitives under the Empire, it would have only put you in danger. Crosshair would have-”

“ Crosshair.”

A ragged noise escaped me, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Tears sprung from the corners of my eyes. 

“Is he really..?”

“It was his choice.”

“Possibly.”

“Yes, possibly. As I said, it could also be the remnants of the inhibitor chip. There is simply no way of knowing. He said the chip was gone but… I am not certain.”

“You really dislike being uncertain.”

“I really do.”

My eyes were trained on Tech’s boots, “But he’s alive.”

“Yes. Crosshair is alive.”

Now I did look at him. His armor was different, though only slightly. That was a welcome sight. I pulled my knees in close to press against my chest. Tech was on one knee, an arm resting on it.

“Changed your gear.”

“I was never truly in regulation armor. None of us were.”

My smile was shaky, “Hair is longer. Suits you.”

Tech reached up a hand as if suddenly self conscious. His movements were stiff. His thumb ghosted over the bruised circles under my eyes, as if he could wipe them away. I wish he could. My throat felt dry. I should have taken the drink when it was offered. 

“Are you feeling well again? Your pulse has slowed.”

I inhaled sharply as Tech laid the back of his palm against my cheek. His lip twitched.

“Well, for a moment it had.”

Reaching up, I pressed his hand with mine to hold it in place. When he didn’t pull away, I intertwined our fingers lightly and let them fall into my lap.

Tech began to knead my hand like a piece of clay, pressing his fingers into the tense places. It made me want to cry again.

He had done that often when we were together in my place on Coruscant. Constantly, actually. As we sat together and read on my couch, one of my hands was in his. Watching a holomovie. Just any spare moment. Tech had said it kept his hands busy, though I hadn’t asked why he did it, in fear that he would stop. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it.

“So,” I bit the inside of my cheek, “Brown Eyes, huh?”

Tech glowered, “We all have brown eyes. In any case… Shortstop? I do not recall you ever taking comments on your height as acceptable terms of endearment when at work.”

I gave him a mock stern look.

“You have to admit that your nickname seems a little more intimate than mine.”

“That seems an exaggeration.”

“No need for a talk with her then? I mean, we’re friends. Friendly. But you’ve seen me deal with the crowd at 79’s. I could have a semi-civil conversation. Woman to woman. I could handle myself.”

Tech looked completely baffled.

“Now I am utterly lost.”

I shrugged, forcing nonchlance, “Phee didn’t know about me. And you didn’t tell her.”

“She did not ask.”

“Fair enough,” I said through gritted teeth.

Tech’s fingers stopped moving, “You also did not contact me.”

I jabbed a finger into my own chest.

“I didn’t want to compromise your mission. When have I ever messaged you first when I knew you were deployed? Never. I would never risk you like that.”

“The same logic I employed. Placing you in the Empire’s direct line of sight was not an option. We did not have a base camp anymore. Which is what I told Hunter when he suggested we extract Ella from Coruscant.”

“Oh he’s such a- wow. What a grand gesture.”

“Indeed,” Tech was looking at something just over my shoulder. “On the topic of Phee..”

“Mhmm?”

“You said the two of you were friendly. I would not hold it against you if you have moved on.”

I lowered my face against my knees, mumbling into them.

“You astound me, Tech.”

He blurted the next bit as if he’d been holding onto it for a millenia.

“Howzer is alive and well.”

I really wanted to break something. Maybe one of Shep’s chairs.

“Alright.”

“I am, truthfully, elated to see you,” Tech said evenly. “It was never our intention to cause you strain. There was simply too much to handle at present. I had every intention-”

He carefully disentangled our hands, pulling back to a respectable distance. I glared at him.

“Tech, you and I both hate it when people cut you off.”

His lips prused, “Which you have now done.”

“Well no offense but I wanted to cut off whatever train of thought was rumbling through that genius mind of yours, because I fear you’re dreadfully off course.” He blinked twice and cocked his head.

I held up a hand, and was grateful he didn’t comment on how it shook.

“Indulge me. I hate miscommunication tropes.”

“Which is relevant because?”

My head snapped up.

“Tech, I wasn’t just wringing my hands over my lack of tips at work. I was barely holding it together. Any mention of you set me off. I met Phee on Coruscant and she brought us here to get away from the core of everything.” I stared at him pleadingly. “I told Ella I wanted to look for you.”

“You do not have a ship,” he said oddly.

“I needed to know you and the Batch were alive. That you were alive, Tech. Phee is not- we’re not,” I ran my hands through my hair. “And I’m so glad H is okay, but he was never y-.. I made my choice long before all of this.”

I spoke firmly. Setting back my shoulders, I leaned forward slowly. Letting my hands ghost over Tech’s face. They hovered and slid downwards to the sides of his throat. I still wasn’t touching him directly. I waited patiently for him to move forward into the embrace. His skin was warm under my hands, those glorious brown eyes searching mine. 

He cleared his throat.

“To speak plainly, you do mean me, correct? As in, you have chosen me to be your partner- in a romantic sense.”

I made some odd, strangled noise, and pulled Tech forwards to press my lips against his. When he gave no resistance, I tightened my hold on him. His hands flew up to cup the back of my neck.

It was not a particularly long kiss. It didn’t matter. My stomach somersaulted, as it did everytime he touched me. Tech had always smelt of mint and burning. Probably from all the cauterizing of wires. He seemed to melt, his body falling forwards, as it always did when I put my fingers in his hair. I pulled back. His grip fell to my waist though, so I didn’t get far. Instead I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his, brushing my thumbs along his cheekbones. My hands were a little more steady.

When I finally opened my eyes, Tech was already staring at me.

“Do me one favor, Tech.”

“What.. is it?”

“Next time you disappear, take me with you.”

END