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The bell rung, signaling the end of another day at Akademi High. As Taro shuffled out of the center courtyard he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the days recent events. The disheartening video recording he heard from Osana’s phone
“What about that boy from class 3-2?” Museme mused.
“That guy's a total creep! I wouldn't date him if he was the last man alive on earth! He can go jump off a cliff for all I care!” replied Osana
And that…hurt. Of course he wasn’t unfimilar with how Osana treated him, the insults, the teasing. But he always knew deep down that she didn’t mean the things she said, atleast that’s what he thought. Tough love perhaps.
Which was one thing when it was just between them. But quite another when she talked about him so negatively to another person, especially a person known to spread drama and gossip.
Maybe she just didn’t want Musume to keep bugging her about him, but still how shortsighted or uncaring would she have to be to not realize it came at his expense? How that could damage his reputation?
And along with all the other stuff that happened during the week. The disgusting bento, the book he graciously lent her ending up destroyed, standing him up for an hour. All of it pointed to a general sense of carelessness. And the recording today was the straw that broke the camels back.
He still had feelings for her of course. But he was quickly wavering on if he ever wanted to pursue them. Even if she did like him back, he wasn’t sure…
His thoughts were interrupted when the mundane routine of opening his locker brought a surprise. A pink surprise.
“Huh, what’s this?” He said to himself as he grabbed the pink paper, which now he could identify as a note.
A note?
He could hardly contain his shock, he hardly ever got notes since his days in middle school. Suspense flowed throughout his entire body as he began to read.
“Senpai
Please meet me under the chery tree the one behind the school at 5:20 pm today its important.
-Osana”
Dread and hope pooled in his stomach simultaneously. Osana? What did she want to talk about? Was she going to apologize? Explain herself?
He looked around himself to make sure nobody else was watching him as he examined the note closer. The handwriting was shaky, and he wasn’t the best student but he was pretty sure “chery” was suppose to have two r’s.
‘Careless’ a more curt side of him thought.
But most of him felt like it was simple nervousness on her part. He couldn’t remember the last time she had actually stated something was “important” to her. She never was one to leave herself that open, atleast to him.
Realization sweeped his face as he checked his watch. 5:19 pm.
Quickly he closed his locker, stuffing the note in his pocket and turning to run out of the building. He couldn’t leave her hanging of course.
A few of the lingering students and staff gave him odd looks as he sprinted across the courtyard to the east side of the school. But he didn’t care, he needed to know what she wanted to talk about.
As he got several yards away from the tree he made out her unmistakably orange twin tales. He only sprinted faster upon recongintion.
Finally reaching the tree he stopped for a moment in front of her to catch his breath.
“O..Osana?” He said. Ready to hear why she wanted to see him.
“you...you kept me waiting...you dummy” even as she said it, he could tell just from how quieter her voice was that she didn’t really mean it. Even still, apart of him felt annoyed at her continued insults but he pushed it aside.
“Listen up, okay? Because...I have something...really important to say.” Taro could almost feel his entire body tense up. Never in their practically life long friendship did she ever appear so...vulnerable.
“What is it?” He said, his mind racing with possibilities.
“You know...a lot of boys ask me to go out with them...but...I always turn them down...it's not like I'm not like interested in boys...I just didn't feel like dating anyone...except for one person.”
A sense of deep dread filled his chest. He had confirm it first though.
“Who?” He forced out. Clining onto the small hope that he was just misinterpreting things. That he wasn’t about to have to…
“Someone who's always been there, right next to me...up until now, I always thought of you as just a childhood friend…
“You” was the part that echoed in his mind the loudest.
“…no...I was just trying to tell myself that, because I was afraid to admit my feelings...but...I finally realized...I can't keep lying to myself, and lying to you...I have to be honest with my feelings...this is...so embarrassing, but...I can't stand just being friends anymore! Listen up, okay?! Because...it takes a lot of courage to say this! I...I love you, you idiot! Iloveyoumorethananythingelseintheworld!”
The initial tension of what she wanted to talk about was relived in his mind finally…but it was replaced with an entirely new type of tension as she closed her eyes and placed her hands neatly together. Silently beckoning his response. One that he had to take pause to formulate, for both their sakes. A balance between honesty and tact.
“...Osana...to tell you the truth…” he paused, looking at her now open eyes, desperate for an answer that wasn’t coming.
“I'm very sorry...but I don't think we're right for each other.”
“...wh...what...?” She squeaked out. Her face dropping into shock, quickly spiraling into an expression that could only be described as heartbreak. Senpai instantly felt a tinge of guilt in his heart.
“Is this...because of the way I've treated you...?” She said, pleading for an answer.
“No...it's not that.
It's...more than that…” he said, intentionally keeping it vague, both out of tactfulness and because he knew were this was going, desperately not wanting it to go there. Hearing her pour her heart out to him only to get rejected was hard enough. He wasn’t sure if he could bear to listen to her begging him for a chance.
But despite his efforts it did go there. “I...I can...I can change!... I, I can, I can stop...I, I can…” she said, resembling a nervous breakdown.
And Senpai couldn’t listen to her anymore.
He began, cutting her off. “Osana, please...don't.
It's just...not going to work.
I'm sorry.”
During the whole exchange he bravely kept eye contact with the heartbroken girl. Seeing the tears finally flow free down her cheeks was too much for him.
“Goodbye…” he said reluctantly turning away.
“S...Senpai...no...please...wait...!” She cried. He didn’t turn back. He couldn’t.
He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath on the way back until he reached the school gate.
He audibly sighed now that he was alone.
“Osana.” He muttered to himself. Aunguish at how things turned out. How in all probability, things would never be the same between them. Their long standing friendship seemingly broken.
Logically he knew it was the right thing to do, for both there sakes, but was overwhelmed with the amount of raw guilt he felt. Maybe he should of let her down more easy. Promised that he cared about her or something to that effect.
The mental image of her bawling her eyes out under the cherry tree, completely alone, made him refrain from stepping of school grounds and going home. He already felt like a jerk. He couldn’t help but feel like a complete scumbag if he just left.
“I...I should check on her.” He said to himself, sighing and turning around, walking back into the school entrance.
It didn’t take long to find her, considering she stayed in the exact same place, unmoved.
She was leaning on the side of her legs, head down into her open palms. Her audible sobs were a lot to take in. But he continued walking up the hill towards her. She didn’t notice his approach, too overcome with sadness. Until he crouched down and put a hand on her shoulder.
“H...Huh?” She whimpered, looking up in bewilderment. Her eyes seemed to freeze as they connected with his soft browns. “Osana...are….you okay?” He said. His face a mixture of concern and remorse.
Osana didn’t reply. Opting to sniffle, close her eyes and turn away slightly.
He sighed. “Look...Osana I know this is hard but you’ll get through it.” he said giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. She didn’t respond.
“And I know you said you can’t stand being friends anymore but I want you to know I’ll always be there for you, if you need someone. Just because I don’t think a relationship would work out between us doesn’t mean…doesn't mean I don’t care about you Osana.” He finished, slightly exhausted
He was half tempted to confess his full feelings towards her. But ultimately he decided against it. It took more than just romantic feelings to make something work, that was simply the barrier to entry. But Osana clearly wouldn’t understand that in the state she was in. Instead of being comforting like intended, it would be an act of giving her hope.
Osana looked back with tears still in her eyes but no longer falling. “S…Senpai…” she said softly. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself into him, her face on his shoulder. He froze for a second, but returned the embrace. She needed it. And that’s what he’d said he do right?
“Thank you.” She whispered as she extinguished the last of her tears into his black uniform.
The two stayed like that for a couple minutes or so. Not needing to say anything. Letting the cherry blossoms fall around them. Creating an unintentionally romantic image for anyone who happened upon them. Eventually they seperated and looked into each others eyes.
“Are you okay now?” Senpai said.
She looked at him and paused, formulating her thoughts.
“Your being honest right?” She said more steadily, wiping her eyes. “You won’t stop being there for me because of this?”
“Of course I won’t Osana. I’d never hurt you like that.”
Satisfied, Osana sighed and wiped her face once more. “I believe you.” She said.
“Want me to walk you home?” He said, taking note of the darking sky.
“Why wouldn’t I dummy.” She replied.