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Hermione’s shoulders were tense as she surveyed the room. This engagement celebration needed to go perfectly. She knew that her parents still didn't exactly approve of Lavender, but they had shown remarkable restraint in the past month, holding back any negative commentary ever since she told them that her free-spirited girlfriend had proposed. That they offered to throw a party in their honour had been nothing short of a miracle.
While it wasn’t her responsibility to ensure that everything ran smoothly, she couldn’t help herself. She checked items off her mental list: the caterers circled the room with hors d'oeuvres, the guests all had drinks in hand, and tasteful harp music filtered through the murmured conversations.
Hermione heard her fiance’s distinctive laugh cut through the surrounding noise and turned in that direction. Lavender’s head was tilted back in delight, nose scrunched and eyes squeezed shut as she giggled. Hermione simultaneously loved and envied Lavender for her ability to be unapologetically herself. She had never been able to make friends easily, but Lavender was like a magnet, drawing everybody in towards herself with the force of her energy—perpetually surrounded by friends and admirers.
She looked beautiful tonight, as always.
Her stomach churned as she continued watching Lavender interact with everyone around her. A caress here, a coy smile there.
It's different with me.
“Are you okay?”
Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin at finding Colin and his ubiquitous camera next to her.
“I'm fine,” she bit out. Just because they had found common ground recently did not mean they were friends now. Especially since the frustration of dating Lavender was the common ground.
Colin shuffled awkwardly. “I wanted to apologise for the other day. I'm sorry if I planted any seeds of doubt about Lavender.” His expression was pained as he admitted, “You're good for her.”
But is she good for me?
“Thank you.” She let him squirm under her gaze for a few seconds before sighing and turning to watch Lavender once more. “But you can't take responsibility for something that was already there.”
Hermione endured what seemed like a relentless onslaught of well-wishers. Wave after wave dragging her back out to sea. When she finally caught a moment to herself, she let out a deep sigh.
An arm slid around her waist and Lavender planted a sloppy smooch on Hermione’s cheek. “Hi, pookie,” she cooed.
Hermione grimaced. “Don’t call me that.” It was exactly what Colin had mentioned the other day. “You know how I hate nicknames.”
“It’s not a nickname—it’s a pet name.”
“I’m not a pet either,” she retorted, annoyance ringing clear in her voice.
Lavender smirked. “Then put your claws away, kitten.”
Hermione rolled her eyes but huffed a small laugh and tried to relax into Lavender's embrace. “Where have you been hiding? Everyone wants to meet you.”
Lavender gestured vaguely in front of them. “Here and there. Took a breather outside for a bit. Who are all these people anyway? Your parents’ friends?”
“Yes, mostly. Plus a couple friends from uni,” said Hermione. “The Allens are headed this way. Want to escape and get us some drinks before you're trapped in small talk purgatory with me?”
“I love you.” Another kiss on the cheek. “I will tell tales of your bravery and sacrifice for years to come, my lady.” With a cheeky curtsey, Lavender scampered off to the bar and Hermione bolstered herself for more congratulatory remarks and invasive questions.
Once again free, Hermione made her way towards the bar in the next room. Time slowed as she watched the very attractive bartender slide a slip of paper across the counter towards her fiance and Lavender picked it up and tucked it into her bra.
Hermione was surprised that nobody in the vicinity heard her heart as it cracked into pieces.
She leaned heavily on a nearby cocktail table, thoughts racing with everything she wanted to say.
When Lavender turned and saw her, she didn't appear contrite or concerned at being caught out. Hermione wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse. Lavender smiled and immediately headed towards her.
“What was that?” The words burst from Hermione, unable to hold them back.
An expression of amusement crossed Lavender's face. She placed Hermione's drink on the table in front of her. “What was what?”
“With the bartender, just now,” Hermione demanded. She pushed the drink away. She felt sick.
“We were just talking,” Lavender said slowly, confusion clear. “Why?”
“What's on the paper?”
“Oh, that.” Lavender waved her hand dismissively. “It's nothing, I was going to throw it away later.”
“Or you could have turned it down.”
“Well, I didn't want to be rude or hurt their feelings.”
“Rude?” Hermione couldn't believe her ears. “Unbelievable. What about my feelings?”
“Are you upset?” Lavender's eyes were wide in disbelief, no doubt surprised that Hermione chose this moment to air her concerns. She let out a small, incredulous laugh as she searched Hermione's face. “Oh my god, you are! I can't help it if people find me attractive! Just because they hit on me doesn't mean I'm going to say yes to them,” she protested.
Hermione face burned, but she refused to back down. “But you don't discourage it! In fact, you revel in it!”
“Your insecurities are not my responsibility! I chose you. I proposed to you. Why can't you see that? You don't trust me?” The hurt was plain on Lavender's face, though it was rapidly giving way to fury.
Hermione placed a hand on Lavender’s elbow and tried to direct her to a more discreet corner. “You're causing a scene,” she hissed.
“You think this is a scene?” Lavender pulled away from Hermione and in two swift steps was standing atop one of the tables. “Now this is a scene!”
“Lav, get down.”
“No.”
Seeing all the curious looks from their guests, Hermione was mortified to feel hot tears pooling in her eyes. “I can't do this right now,” she muttered, turning and striding quickly from the room.
“This is who I am, Hermione. Take me or leave me,” Lavender called after her.
She hesitated when she reached the doorway but continued without looking back.
It wasn’t long before Hermione heard the clack of heels following her down the hall.
“Hey!”
Hermione sped up her pace.
“Hey!” Lavender called again. “You don’t get to just run away from this! That’s what you always do.”
Hermione stopped abruptly in her tracks and pivoted to face Lavender, fuming. “What else is there that we could possibly say?” She could still see the anger simmering below the surface; it was clear in the rigidity of Lavender’s body. But there was something else too. A fragility, perhaps.
“I can’t–” Lavender paused, gathering her thoughts. “I can’t be what I’m not. I don’t fit in with your hoity-toity family or your barrister friends, but I’m the one that you come home to, that’s in your bed every night. I thought that you liked me this way!”
“I do, but I can’t share you, Lavender. I can’t bear to watch you flirt with everyone who shows an interest.”
Frustrated, Lavender threw her hands in the air. “Then you should feel lucky that I’m with you when I have so many options!”
Hermione had heard the subtext in Lavender’s statement. “And you should feel lucky to be with me! I may not be as exciting or… or as adventurous, but I am a catch! So take me for what I am, Lavender.”
“A controlling, over-attentive snob?” Lavender snarked. She covered her mouth with her hand as soon as she said the words, as if she could pull them back and prevent them from escaping in the first place.
They stood, frozen in mutual grief. This time when Hermione left, nobody followed.