Work Text:
"What do you want to do?"
The question was so simple, it should have been easy to answer. For as long as you can remember you knew what you wanted. You wanted to leave, to get out of those chains and go out into the world beyond this cabin castle. But now the first part of that is done, your dashing hero has slipped your wrist through the shackle and freed you for a second time, and this time you didn't even have to lose the hand! But now that freedom was so close, now that all that was left was to go up the stairs and go through the cabin door, you weren't sure what to do after.
After a minute you say that you're not sure what you want. You think your beloved was wondering the same thing given the glazed daydreamy expression he usually had like, he was focused on something else. "Nobody's ever asked me what I've wanted before."
That felt right to say. You don't think you've been asked it, the words felt so new to you. But you also don't think you remember ever being asked anything before. Or being talked to before. Or... seeing anyone before...
Before... him...
"I think I want to leave? And I think..."
You try your best to think of an answer. You close your eyes and try to imagine what might be out there for you two to see. You're a princess, so do you have a kingdom? Did you have parents? A princess has to have a king or a queen as parents otherwise she wouldn't be a princess, right? What would be awaiting you outside? Would it be a kingdom? The wilderness? Would people be there?
Would it even matter?
You try to picture the moment in your mind, you stepping out of the cabin into the big wide world. It's night, you could see the stars from your window. And there weren't any noises outside until your hero opened the door so there's probably no other buildings around.
It would just be you and him. You and him and the world outside. That sounds nice to you. That sounds... right, somehow. It feels like the way that things should be. But what else could you add to that? You would be together, sure, but what else could you want? What else could he want?
Maybe you should ask him!
"What do you want to do?"
He looks just as confused as you must have been when you were first asked that question. It doesn't look like he knows either. Perhaps in an attempt to deflect he asks you again what you want. By this time though, you've already decided.
"I just want to make you happy!"
This answer feels right, you say it almost on instinct. Something changes in his expression though, he looks unsure and worried, and he has that same glazed look again. You start to feel something in your mind, like a fog has appeared in your head and the room starts to feel strange.
You think you might have said something wrong but it makes complete sense to you. He helped you, he saved your life and now he wants to help you get out. Why wouldn't you want someone like him to be happy? Why wouldn't you want to make him happy?
"But you need your own thing. You just met me. You can't base your entire happiness around me."
Why not? Does it really matter if you just met him? You barely know anything about this world, about this place, about yourself. You may not know him very well but he's the thing that you know best and the only thing you've known that has been kind to you!
"You have to want something more than just making me happy."
Why? Why was he questioning you? Why do you need to want something more? It's such a simple goal, so why do you need more than that? But maybe that's what he wants? If he wants you to want something else then maybe that's not so bad? You can want him and want something else after all!
The fog gets worse and worse in your brain. Your body feels wrong somehow, a static numbness creeping across you.
"But what would make you happy?"
Does he think you making him happy is wrong? Does he not want to be happy? Does he want you to make him unhappy? Why wouldn't he want to be happy, why wouldn't he want you to make him happy?! He deserves to be happy! He's been kind to you and is going to save you so why shouldn't he be happy? Does he hate himself? Does he think he doesn't deserve it? Is that why he looks at you like that, like everytime you say you just want him to be happy its a lie? Like you're being forced to say this?
"There must be something you want!"
THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT.
You just want to make him happy you don't know how many times you have to say this! You feel like a broken record talking to him, no matter what you say he doesn't believe you he doesn't trust you you love him so much and yet he doesn't believe that that's! What! You! Want! You know what you want already and you've told him so many times why doesn't he get the message?! Does he think you're too stupid to think on your own? That all your thoughts and feelings and desires are just something someone else has told you?
“I just want to make you happy!”
The room around you has disappeared. There is nothing but you two now. You feel strange. You feel flat. You feel like you have been torn open and looked at and rejected. It feels... cold.
You feel the touch of a thousand hands. Holding you, carrying you off gently. Until you are no longer alone, with him.
Maybe now you can know what it's like to be whole.