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He can see by the shape of her shoulders and the arc of her back whenever there is something on her mind. He needs only to glimpse her from the corner of his eye to see if she is troubled. As much as he wishes to stay by her every moment, if they are to survive, there is some mild separation that is unavoidable. The winter months have begun to close in now; snow weighing down the roof of their small hut, ice engulfing the wells and springs. Time had lost all meaning apart from the changing of the seasons. But even as time was meant to heal all wounds, some injuries of the heart lingered on to fester.
Heisuke returned one mid-morning with a fresh batch of firewood, stashing it in the shed to keep it dry. He brushed his hands off and warmed them with his breath before jogging back to where Chizuru awaited him.
Chizuru sat on the floor with her back to him, tending the hibachi and humming idly to herself. A soft, melancholy tune that gave him pause for a moment. Something about that melody seemed familiar, but he ignored that thought and pushed on. He put on his best smile and walked over to sit down next to her. Chizuru was so deep in thought that she didn’t even notice him at first. Heisuke frowned, seeing how close he could move his face to hers before she noticed. He kept getting closer and closer until he just decided to place a quick peck on her cheek. Chizuru let out a yelp of surprise, turning to meet Heisuke’s eyes before she laughed her shock away.
“Goodness, Heisuke, you startled me! You should have told me that you were back!” She said, her words bubbling out over her laughter.
Heisuke grinned, nuzzling her cheek for a moment. “I’m back,” He said while looping an arm around her waist.
“Welcome home.” She said, her voice nearly a sigh as she leaned into his touch.
“I’ve gotten us enough firewood to last us a few more days, but I’ll go out again once the weather is a little bit better.”
“I can still help, you know,” Chizuru said with a small pout. “I can still gather kindling from around the house.”
Heisuke laughed a bit. “I’m not stopping you,” he said. “You don’t have to feel so much pressure to make yourself useful though.”
Chizuru continued to frown, looking away. “But I want to. And my body isn’t so weak that I’ll freeze to death.”
“Then by all means go ahead. I just assumed that you would rather stay inside where it’s warm. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think that I…” He paused, Chizuru had looked back up at him. Wide, round, impossibly deep brown eyes that told him more than her words could ever hope to convey. These were the eyes of the girl who had left her home in search of her father, braving the dangers of Kyoto without a second thought. This was the girl who after being taken in by men who would as soon as kill her as look at her, insisted on being helpful and useful in any way that she could possibly be. But above all, this was the girl who was used to constantly being shut down. Always told to stay back and keep from getting hurt. A girl who had been forced to stand back as the people she cared about got hurt and even died.
Something as simple as gathering firewood, Heisuke could never have guessed. But this simple reassurance of permission made her eyes light up as if she had been given the world.
“Really?” She asked, as if she could scarcely believe it.
“Yeah of course.” Heisuke sometimes still had to remind himself that she wasn't an ordinary human girl in need of protecting. She was Chizuru. A proud demon in her own right who had stayed by his side no matter how dangerous things became. “I’m not gonna keep you from doing anything that you want, okay? Even if it’s dangerous, I’ll be there to protect you, so it will be fine.”
Chizuru giggled suddenly. It was funny to her, how this had started off as a simple discussion over firewood. She leaned her face against his, smiling into his cheek. Heisuke responded by putting his arms around her, relishing in her warmth and happiness.
After a few moments, the burst of joy started to settle, and her earlier thoughts started to float back into her mind again. She suddenly tightened her grip on Heisuke, her fingers digging into the fabric on his back. She pressed her face against his neck, nosing the collar out of the way.
“…Chizuru?” He asked, worry entering his voice.
Chizuru still wasn’t entirely sure why she had been so sad earlier. If she tried to articulate the feelings it only made them stronger and harder to swallow. All she wanted to focus on in that moment was Heisuke. The fact that he was there with her, alive and breathing.
“I’m fine Heisuke,” Chizuru said with difficulty as her voice started to falter. She was understanding now. The snow and the cold all around her, it made her deeply nostalgic for the old days. When everyone was alive and together.
“Chizuru,” He said her name low in her ear, holding her tightly to his chest. “You know that you can always talk to me no matter what it is. If there’s something wrong,” he trailed off, starting to rub soothing circles on her back. “You can tell me,”
“I know,” Chizuru sniffed. “Nothing’s wrong though, not right now.” She said almost as if she were trying to convince herself first and foremost. “You’re here Heisuke, and that’s all that matters.”
Heisuke gave an affirmative sound, feeling her body relax under his touch. Somehow her feeling relaxed
“You miss them, don’t you. The others, I mean.” It wasn’t difficult to guess, no matter how much time passed he found that he still missed his old friends, his old life.
Chizuru let out a small sigh. “It’s alright. I still have you after all.”
Heisuke heard the silent implication in her voice. She still had him, and so she should be grateful. She had no right to be sad when it could still be so much worse. He tightened his arms around her just a little tighter, words falling short. Any thought that he head felt silly and trivial, he had no idea what he could possibly say so her. Just as he opened his mouth to try and say somethin, he heard Chizuru start to speak. Her voice floated up to him through his shirt and his skin. He had to strain to hear her but he had no trouble understanding her.
“Yes, I miss them all. I miss everyone, they were all so brave and kind,” as much as she wanted to repeat their names in memory, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to keep from crying if she did so. “But I’m still happy though. I get to be here with you, Heisuke. I would never give this up, no matter what.”
Heisuke blinked. When she said that, it was almost in answer to his secret thoughts. Part of him always wondered if she regretted it, making a life with a dead man who could die again any day. He wondered if she wouldn’t be happier with Sen, with her own Kinsmen. But when she said it like that, her cheek pressed against his chest, her fingers knotted in his clothes. With everything he was feeling from her, he would have to be a complete and utter idiot not to believe her.
“Thanks, Chizuru.” Heisuke replied, letting his had fall from her back and shifting away from her slightly.
Chizuru began to sit up herself, her eyes wide in mild confusion. “Heisuke?”
Heisuke smiled at her, cupping her cheek as her face became level with his.
Her look of curiosity didn’t wane as she started to take in the look on his face. “Heisuke,” She said, trailing off a bit. Smiling at him in return, she leaned in, angling her head so that she could kiss him gently on the lips. The kiss was brief, but it was easier to use than words in that moment. She was weary of implications and subtleties, she just had one thing that she wanted Heisuke to know, and a kiss was a perfect way to tell him.
Chizuru drew her lips away and she could feel Heisuke following after her, not wanting to stop so soon. She laughed softly and rested a hand in his hair. When Heisuke met her eyes again, he saw a look that simply said “Not now.” And he gave a minute nod in agreement. He took both of her hands in his and smiled gently as she found her place against his chest again. This time he leaned back, letting them both fall into the blankets and pillows that lay scattered around the house’s main source of heat. But with the two of them twisted together like they were, there was no possibility of catching the chill from outside.
There was still so much more to be said. So much more that could be done and shared between them. Even in the cold they could share their love for a each other in a million different ways. But for now, this was enough. The two of them lying together, holding each other’s hands and guarding each other from the chill. If there were any tears to be cried, he would be there to dry them.