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Qiu never held something so precious in their hands in years, not since the day Yaja scraped her hand at the park. Her coiled reddish-pink hair sprung from between their fingers, ending at her shoulders. She had scars and indents weaved into her deep brown skin from wading through the forests surrounding the cul de sac, and the thin blue strap of her camisole crept precariously over the slope of her shoulder, framing her shoulder blades. Cranberry strands settled onto Autumn’s palm. Qiu's chest twisted tight as they imagined running their fingers down her spine, memorizing every mark and groove.
"My hair's not that bad, is it?" Yaja said.
"No. It's cute." There was no hesitation, no witty retort.
"Cute?" she scoffed, "I've heard a lot about my hair, but cute?"
"You don't think you're cute?"
"I'm gorgeous." It was an exaggeratedly flirtatious tone, but Autumn’s face and neck ran hot all the same.
"Right, sure." Two things could be true at the same time.
Yaja turned around, her nose a mere few inches from theirs. “Then you agree. That I’m gorgeous.”
Her eyes glinted like fresh berries covered in dewdrops. It would be the easiest thing in the world to kiss her soft, full lips, yet Autumn froze in place.
No one would be surprised if Qiu and Yaja started dating; most of their classmates in school assumed they were secretly together. Every person in Golden Grove (their parents, teachers, classmates, even strangers on the street) will be watching them. An entire lifetime flashed behind their eyes; dating, marriage, house, two-point-five kids and a dog, just like everyone wants. But what did Autumn want, really? To be pushed along this railroad just because of the way they were born and who he was with? What if the court of public opinion decided they were a boy, despite everything? They would be living like one in the world’s eyes, forced into the same groom’s monkey suit like every man was expected to, working some job to provide a roof over their head and put food on the table–
“Qiu?” Yaja’s voice cracked, “Are you okay?”
Their future felt like a gaping black hole. “I’m fine.”
Qiu was better off fighting the pull.