Work Text:
Yesterday my parents’ life’s work blew up in their faces, but I am determined to make today a better day. I wake at ten AM Saturday morning to sunlight streaming through the windows and the sounds of my parents talking in the kitchen. My bedroom is upstairs, but my dad’s voice carries easily through the house.
“We’ll get it working, Maddie, don’t you worry,” he says, his usually boisterous voice missing some of its energy.
I join them in the kitchen. Mom is making pancakes, but I can tell from the look on her face that her mind is elsewhere. She must be thinking about the portal. My parents were so excited to finally power on their ghost portal last night, but it only sparked and fizzled out. I can only assume it didn’t work because ghosts don’t exist. But I wouldn’t tell them that; we’ve had that discussion time and time again, and to rub it in now, after they’ve lost all hope? I couldn’t do that to them. They’re eccentric, but they’re family, and I care about them.
“Good morning,” I say.
“Morning Jazzypants,” Dad responds, without looking up from the papers scattered across the table.
“Morning,” Mom says, her voice flat. She stares through the griddle as if waiting for the pancakes to jump up and start talking. Which, knowing her cooking, isn’t outside of the range of possibilities.
An acrid smell fills the kitchen. Danny comes down the stairs, hair tousled, still in his pajamas. “Is something burning?”
“Oh no, the pancakes,” Mom says. She turns off the burner and tosses the burnt pancakes into the trash. “How’s cereal sound?”
“Cereal is fine, Mom.” I look into Mom’s eyes. There are dark bags under them, as if she hasn’t slept. “You seem distracted. Are you okay?” I ask.
Mom grabs milk and a couple boxes of cereal and starts pouring them into bowls. “I’m fine, sweetie. Thank you for asking, though.”
Dad looks up from his paperwork. “She’s just upset about the portal. But we’re gonna get it working! These new blueprints are promising, and we’ll be going out today to discuss them with a colleague.”
“I hope they’re able to help,” I say sincerely. My parents’ obsession with ghosts could get annoying, but it hurts to see them like this.
Danny plops into a chair while Mom distributes the bowls around the table. I ask, “What about you, Danny? What are your plans for the day?”
“Oh, you know, the usual,” he says between bites. “Sam and Tucker are coming over to watch Dead Teacher III with me. We’ve seen it already, but the fourth movie is coming out soon, so we’ve been rewatching the series.”
“Sounds like fun,” I say. Danny doesn’t have a lot of friends, but he is incredibly close with the two he has, and I’m glad he is. It’s good for him to have people he can confide in. I want to be that person for him, but I’m his big sister. I understand that he won’t trust me with everything.
Breakfast settles into silence while everybody eats. Silence is unusual for our family, but things are tense right now, with my parents stressed about the portal. I’m sure everything will be back to normal soon.
A few hours later, I’m on my bed, face buried in a textbook. I’ve been trying to study for my math test on Monday, but Danny’s movie audio has been bleeding through the walls and it’s distracting. I feel like I’ve barely learned anything in the last few hours.
The sound stops. The movie must be over. I get up and peek my head out the door, and see Danny and his friends standing up from the couch. I make my way downstairs.
“Hey guys. What are you up to?” I ask.
Danny puts his hands in his pockets. “Oh. Uh, Tucker and Sam want to see the portal. I told them it doesn’t work, but they insisted.”
“It must be some really advanced tech. I gotta see it,” Tucker says. “And you know how Sam is. If it’s dark and spooky, she’s interested.”
Sam shrugs but doesn’t dispute it.
“Well, okay,” I say. “But it’s dangerous down there. I’m coming with you.” Danny opens his mouth. I interrupt, “No buts. I want to make sure nothing happens.”
Danny sighs. “Okay, fine.” He leads the way down into the lab.
“We should take a picture!” Sam says. “Hey Danny, why don’t you grab one of those hazmat suits and pose in front of the portal?”
Danny obliges, although he’s a little closer to the portal than I’m comfortable with. I say nothing as Sam snaps a picture. The portal doesn’t work, so it shouldn’t be too dangerous for him to stand near it, right?
“Okay,” Danny says. “I showed you the portal. Can we get out of here now?” He joins the three of us on the other side of the lab. “ My parents could be back here any minute. Besides, they say it doesn’t work anyway.”
Sam is not dissuaded. “Come on, Danny. A Ghost Zone? Aren’t you curious? You gotta check it out.”
I step in. “Hold on. I’ll check it out first, just to be safe.” I have an uneasy feeling about Danny going into the portal, and I want to make sure nothing happens to him.
Tucker says, “Okay, Jazz, you might as well. But then Danny can check it out, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. I don’t feel right, but it would be hypocritical of me to go in myself and not allow him to. I grab a hazmat suit from the closet and put it on over my clothes.
As I approach the portal, the air starts to feel cold. A rock settles in my stomach. Is this a good idea? I’m not so sure about it anymore. But… some part of me wants Danny’s friends to think I’m cool. I take a big step over the thick cables snaking their way through the portal.
My foot catches on one of the cables and I start to fall. I catch myself on the wall and feel something click beneath my glove.
The world explodes. Electricity flows through every cell in my body, and I know nothing but pain. I scream, agony tearing the sound from my throat.
—
I wake up in my bed, still screaming. Early morning sunlight fills the room. I take a few deep breaths to ground myself. I’m in my room, I’m safe, I’m alive.
A few moments later, Mom runs into my room. “What happened? Are you okay?” She’s in a panic.
My heart is still pounding, but I reply, “I’m fine. It was just a nightmare.” Was it? It felt so real.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Mom comes over and offers me a hug. I graciously accept and wrap my arms around her. It’s comforting, knowing she cares and came to check on me so quickly.
“Thanks Mom. I’m alright.” I glance at my phone on my nightstand. It’s 10:02 AM, Saturday morning. “I’ll be down in a minute for breakfast.” Mom leaves, and I take a moment to myself. I’m still shaken by whatever just happened. It doesn’t feel like a dream. I’ve had nightmares, and none of them have ever felt like that . I can’t shake the feeling that I actually experienced death, and somehow lived through it.
Once I calm down, I head downstairs. The kitchen smells stale and burnt. Mom, Dad, and Danny are at the table eating cereal. A bowl sits at my seat, waiting for me.
“So, I burned the pancakes,” Mom says sheepishly. “I hope you don’t mind cereal.”
“No, that’s fine.” I sit and ignore the uncomfortable familiarity of the situation. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
Dad is looking at a pile of paperwork on the table as he eats. “Your mom and I are pretty worked up about the portal failing. But we’re gonna get it working! These new blueprints are promising, and we’ll be going out today to discuss them with a colleague.”
“I hope they’re able to help,” I say. “What are you gonna do, Danny?”
“Oh, you know, the usual,” he says while he eats. “Sam and Tucker are coming over to watch Dead Teacher III with me. We’ve seen it already, but the fourth movie is coming out soon, so we’ve been rewatching the series.”
“Oh.” The uncomfortable feeling in my bones grows deeper. “I hope you have fun.”
Danny nods. We all continue eating, and I want to break the silence, but I can’t think of anything to say. My thoughts swirl around my head as we finish breakfast.
As soon as I’m done eating, I excuse myself and head up to my room. I slump into my disheveled bed. That was a dream, right? How did I know what they were going to say? Am I having prophetic dreams? That would explain why it felt so real, but that’s crazy. I’ve done a lot of research on psychology, and precognition isn’t real. But then what could it be?
I spend a couple hours studying for my upcoming math test, but my heart isn’t in it. I can hear Danny’s movie from downstairs, and I’m still disturbed by my dream, or whatever that was. As soon as the movie ends, I go downstairs to talk to Danny.
I try to sound casual as Danny, Sam, and Tucker rise from the couch. “Hey, where are you guys headed?”
Danny turns to face me and sticks his hands in his pockets. “Oh. Uh, Tucker and Sam want to see the portal. I told them it doesn’t work, but they insisted.”
My heart drops into my stomach. “No,” I say before I can stop myself.
“What do you mean? It doesn’t even work, it’ll be fine,” Danny says.
I take a deep breath. It was just a dream. Nothing’s going to happen. “Okay, but I’m coming with you.”
As we go down to the lab, my déjà vu only increases. Sam takes a picture of Danny next to the portal. She tries to goad him into going in.
“Hold on. Let me check it out first.” I put on my hazmat suit, my hands shaking as I do up the zipper. I approach the portal. Thick cables wind their way out of the hole in the wall. I step over them, very carefully, and walk into the portal. There, on the side of the wall, is a large panel with two buttons that say ON and OFF. I facepalm. Why would they put the on button inside the portal?
I back out and look around the lab. There’s a broom a few feet away, leaning against a wall. Perfect. I pick up the broom and head back towards the portal.
“What are you doing?” Danny asks.
I sigh heavily. “Mom and Dad put the on button on the inside of the portal.” Danny’s face blanches.
Making sure to stand outside of the portal, I reach in with the broom. It takes me a couple seconds to find it, but I manage to hit the button with the end of the broom. A flash of light engulfs the room and the broom explodes into splinters. I let go and jump back. The death I experienced in my dream flashes in my head and I start to panic.
I take a deep breath. It’s okay. I’m alive, I’m fine, I didn’t die. I look back to the portal. It’s lit up, swirling green, bathing the lab in an eerie glow.
Danny, Sam, and Tucker all say, “Wow,” at the same time.
“So… the portal isn’t broken, I guess.” I shrug, looking more confident than I feel.
Sam stares at the wooden splinters on the floor. “Man, it’s a good thing you didn’t press the button while you were inside the portal.”
“Yeah,” Tucker adds, “you’d end up in worse shape than that broom.”
Don’t I know it. I say nothing, chuckling uncomfortably. I came that close to dying. Again, maybe.
Danny and I are on the couch discussing the day when Mom and Dad come home.
“Hey, you’ll never believe what happened while you were gone,” Danny says when they walk in the door.
“What happened? Does it involve ghosts?” Dad asks.
“Actually yes, sort of,” I say. “The portal is working!”
“It what? ” Mom says.
I explain, “Okay, so. Danny and I went downstairs to look at the portal.” We decided to leave Sam and Tucker out of it, since Mom and Dad wouldn’t want them down there unsupervised. They headed home anyway; there’s been enough excitement for one day. “I noticed that the on button was on the inside of the portal, so I hit it with a broom. Turns out it’s not broken after all!”
Mom facepalms. “Of course it was something as simple as that. How did we not catch that when we were going over the blueprints?”
“Our little girl is a genius!” Dad shouts. “She figured it out when we couldn’t. I’m so proud of you!”
Some genius. I figured it out the hard and painful way. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Well, we should go ahead and get working,” Mom says. “The Ghost Zone isn’t going to study itself!” Mom and Dad disappeared into the lab.
Danny turns to me. “They seem happy. I’m glad you got it working.”
“And without anybody getting injured,” I say, nodding. “I’m gonna head up to my room. It’s been a long day.” Longer than he knows.
I sit at my desk and pull out my journal. I write about my weird dream last night. Usually a dream like that would start to get foggy after a whole day, but the memory of getting fried by the portal is still clear in my mind. I’m satisfied that I got the portal working, but I can’t help but feel that something is still wrong.
—
I wake up bright and early the next day and head downstairs for breakfast. “Morning,” I say cheerfully. “How are you doing?”
“Morning,” Mom says. She’s at the stove, staring into the distance.
“Are you okay? I thought you’d be feeling better today,” I say.
“She’s just upset about the portal,” Dad says. “But we’re gonna get it working! These new blueprints are promising, and we’ll be going out today to discuss them with a colleague.”
Oh no. I glance down at my phone. 10:05 AM, Saturday morning . Oh no. Oh no no no.
Danny’s footsteps come into the kitchen. I look up at him, still in his pajamas. “Is something burning?” he asks.
“Oh no, the pancakes,” Mom says. She throws the pancakes in the trash, “How’s cereal sound?”
“Cereal’s fine, Mom,” I say, voice shaking. This can’t be real. “I’ll… I’ll be right back.”
I leave the kitchen and sneak down to the lab. The portal is off, just like it was yesterday morning. No green glow, just an empty tunnel in the basement. This can’t be happening.
Sam and Tucker come over after breakfast. I head up to my room and grab my journal. As I feared, my entry from the night before is gone. I sit at my desk, head in my hands, and decide to write a new entry. Even if this one disappears too, the act of writing helps me think.
As far as I can tell, I‘m stuck in a time loop. The same things keep happening over and over again. Everything that’s been done the last two days has been undone. But how, and why? What could be causing this?
The first loop was when I went into the portal and died. That was… uncomfortable, to say the least. Agonizingly painful, to say a bit more. I’m definitely not trying that again. But my death must be what triggered the loop to begin.
Judging by the way time loops work in stories, there’s got to be some kind of condition it’s trying to fulfill. So what is it? What will help me escape from this loop?
I would think that getting the portal working without anybody getting injured or dying would satisfy the… whatever is causing this. But I tried that yesterday – last loop? – and here I am, still Saturday.
Maybe it doesn’t want the portal on at all. Maybe I should keep Danny and his friends from going down there at all. I have time until their movie ends. I’ll need to find some way to keep them out of the lab.
So, that’s that. Keep them out of the lab, and that should get me out of the time loop. I hope. Hopefully this isn’t a Groundhog Day situation where I’m stuck like this for years until I learn some kind of lesson.
I put my journal down and go downstairs. The movie has ended, and Danny, Tucker, and Sam look to be heading to the lab.
“Hey guys, where are you going?” I say.
“Oh. Sam and Tucker wanted to look at the portal. I figure it couldn’t hurt to look at it, since it’s not working anyway.” Danny replies.
I can’t let them do this. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s dangerous down there. Somebody could get hurt.”
“Come on Jazz, it’s harmless. What’s the worst that could happen?” he says.
“You could trip and fall into the portal and turn it on and die. That could happen.”
Danny scoffs. “It doesn’t even work, how would it kill me?”
Sam and Tucker stand there, watching uncomfortably. They don’t seem to want to join in the argument, although they’re clearly on Danny’s side.
“I’m not trying to ruin your day, just keep you safe,” I tell them. “How about you guys go bowling, my treat?”
Danny looks like he wants to argue, but he folds. “Okay, fine. I do like bowling. What do you say, guys?”
Tucker shrugs. “I’m down for bowling.”
Sam looks like she wants to say something, but decides against it. “I don’t go out bowling often, so sure. Sounds fun.”
I breathe a sigh of relief as they walk out the door.
When Danny comes home a few hours later, he’s alone. Mom and Dad get back not long after. As soon as they walk in the door, they head downstairs to try and repair the portal. I go to bed and hope for the best.
—
I wake up at 10AM sharp. It’s Saturday again. Of course.
It’s been Saturday for… maybe a week now? It’s hard to keep track. It’s not like I can keep tally marks in my journal, because it keeps getting reset to how it was.
The portal has to be the focus of the loop, but I can’t figure out what it wants. I tried convincing my parents to dismantle the portal. I tried turning it on by myself – from the outside, because I am not eager to get fried by it again – before Danny finished his movie. I tried telling everyone I was in a time loop, but nobody believed me. Of course they didn’t; I wouldn’t, in their place.
I’m out of ideas. I don’t know what to do. I’m so done trying to get out of this loop. I want to just lay here until it all goes away. And I just might.
…Wait. I can’t do that. If I lay here, Danny will go down to the portal, and what if he ends up getting killed by it the same way I did?
Oh no. What if that’s what caused the loop? I interfered. I stopped him from going into the portal. I stopped him from getting himself killed.
The time loop wants Danny to die.
What kind of big sister would I be if I just sat back and let him get electrocuted by the portal? I couldn’t live with myself. I can’t do that to him.
There’s a knock at the door. Danny peeks his head into my bedroom. “Are you coming down to breakfast?”
“Yeah,” I say. I can’t look him in the eye. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Okay,” he says. He starts to close the door, but turns back around. “Are you okay?”
My heart breaks. “Yeah Danny,” I lie. “I’m fine. I just need some time to get dressed.”
“Okay…” he says. He clearly doesn’t believe me. It’s fine. He won’t remember this conversation anyway.
—
I wake up, 10AM, Saturday morning. It’s been several more loops since then. I’ve been grappling with indecision ever since I had the realization that Danny needs to go into the portal. I’ve spent every loop convincing Danny to go out somewhere with me. We went to the zoo, we went to an amusement park, we had a movie marathon, we went out to nice restaurants. I think I just wanted to savor the time I had left with him.
I can stay in this loop forever and spend as much time as I want with my baby brother. But I don’t think I’ll stay sane if I do this much longer.
This is it, then. I have to do it. It’s now or never.
Danny peeks his head into my room. “Are you coming down to breakfast?” he asks.
“No. I’m not feeling well. I’m going back to bed,” I say. And it’s not exactly a lie. I feel awful, knowing what I’m about to do to him.
“Okay. Feel better.” He goes to close the door.
Before he can close the door, I say, “Danny… you know I love you, right? Can I have a hug?”
He looks uncomfortable with the sentimentality. Brothers, am I right? “I know. Love you too.” He takes a few steps into the room. I lift myself out of bed and hug him tight. I can’t help the tears that pour down my face.
“Jazz… are you okay?”
I sob into Danny’s shoulder. “I’m just having a rough morning. I’ll be alright.” I take a deep breath and try to stop crying. It doesn’t work. “Thank you for being the best little brother I could ever ask for.”
“Yeah… No problem.” He breaks away from the hug before I’m ready. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready, so I let him go.
A few hours later, I’m trying to lose myself in a book when I hear Danny’s movie end. This is it. I hear footsteps head off in the direction of the lab.
I wait, the anticipation almost making me forget to breathe. A few minutes later, I hear the worst sound I’ve ever heard. A piercing, gut-wrenching scream that I will never forget.
I can’t breathe. I fight for air, heaving breaths coming too fast. The room spins around me. My little brother is dead. I did this to him. I let him die. I sob, tears running down my face and soaking my shirt. I can’t believe I was so selfish, so eager to leave the time loop, that I let my brother get painfully killed by the portal. I remember how much it hurt. To make him go through that… I am the worst sister ever.
I hear the front door close. I get up and look out my bedroom window. Sam and Tucker are walking away from the house, talking amongst themselves. They watched Danny die and just left without telling me?! How could they? As far as they’re aware, they just killed him, and they didn’t even think to tell anybody he’s dead?
I stalk out of my room and slam the door. I take the stairs two at a time, determined to catch up with Sam and Tucker and give them a piece of my mind.
I reach the bottom of the stairs. Before I can reach the door, I glance over to the couch, and – Danny?! He’s sitting on the couch, staring into the distance, eyes unfocused, hands shaking. He’s not okay, but he’s alive. How?
Thoughts of Tucker and Sam gone, I inch over into the living room and lower myself gently onto the couch.
“Danny?” I say quietly. “Are you okay?”
He looks at me as if only just realizing I was there. “Yeah,” he says. “I… uhm… the portal is working.”
I try to look surprised. “Wow. What happened?”
He takes a moment to search for the words. “Mom and Dad were stupid and put the on button on the inside of the portal. I reached my arm in and hit the button, got a bit of a nasty zap.” That’s a lie. I can see it written on his face. He walked into the portal and turned it on from the inside. How didn’t it kill him?
“I see. And you weren’t injured?” I ask, although I know he must have been.
“No. It stung, but I’m fine,” he says. His voice is devoid of emotion. I let it go. I can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m just glad he’s alive. We’ll handle the trauma later.
When my parents come home, Danny feeds them the same story he gave me about the accident. I don’t correct him. They don’t need to know.
I really hope this will be it. I better not have put Danny through that for nothing. I give Danny space for the rest of the day. He’s been through a lot, and clearly wants to be alone. I spend some time journaling, wondering if my journal entry will still be there in the morning.
—
I wake up to rain pattering on the roof. I pick up my phone and check the time. It’s 11:15 AM, Sunday morning! I’m free!
I run downstairs. “Whoa, Jazz, what has you so excited?” Danny says. He looks more lively than he did yesterday.
“Just happy that it’s not Saturday,” I say truthfully.
“Uhhh, alright. Weirdo.” He sticks his tongue out at me playfully. I walk up and ruffle his hair, ignoring his protests.
I look over to Dad and Mom, sitting at the table eating eggs. “How’s everything going with the portal?”
“Everything’s great, Jazzerincess!” Dad booms. “The portal is up and running and everything looks perfect!”
“We’re going to learn so much from this,” Mom says, glee in her eyes. “After we eat we’re going to head right back down there and start running tests.”
I grin, excited that everyone is doing so well. “I’m happy for you. It’s great that the portal is working now.” I look over to Danny. He’s leaning on the kitchen table. He startles, his arm going into – INTO the table?? I did not just see that. What just happened?
Danny looks panicked, so I pretend not to have seen anything. I wonder what kind of effects getting zapped by the portal would have on a person. But I won’t bother him with questions.
He can tell me when he’s ready.