Archive of Our Own

The chilling water brazenly flushed Kieran’s swelled, puffy face. He viciously scrubbed at his tired skin to bring it to life, and a light irritation colored underneath his bleary eyes after he sapped away the moisture with a washcloth. He often got little sleep, but he had felt particularly restless the night before and needed to do what he could to convince his body to stay awake. The burrowed anxiety that had sprouted and loomed over him throughout the past night had come and gone in waves throughout the unforgiving night, and now, it disguised itself with an indiscernible, oozing frustration. Kieran bitterly tossed the washcloth, slipped his shoes and slumped jacket, and secured his pack around his waist as he ushered himself out of his dorm room. 

It was the start of a new day, and it was a particular day he wanted to ignore entirely. It was an annual reminder of how out of place he was from everything, anyway. How little people would even show up and care. 

Nobody truly cared.

He had already planned ways to keep himself occupied. It was an infallible, jammed packed schedule that was fueled by the flames of his anger: he would head to the terrarium, weed out any spineless weaklings who were incapable of proving their worth to be in his club, and he would vigorously train his team to remain on the top. It was only a matter of time before his sworn enemy would challenge him, anyway. She had sullied his campus grounds with her grimy fingers mere weeks ago, once again presenting herself in an attempt to steal everything that rightfully belonged to him. It had happened in his homeland, but he swore it wouldn’t happen again. And today, she’d probably assume that he would let his guard down. 

She may have surprised him with her reappearance, but he had already decided he wouldn’t fall for the ploys of her silver tongue that laced her words with a false honey a second time. He would filter out the irrelevance of her longer locks that brought out the frame of her maturing face, and he would ignore the facade of her supposed warmth that seemed to reach out to him. He would instead wrestle away any temptation to return to his former, pathetic self. He would instead only narrow his attention to her every move and battle - it was the correct way for him to take advantage of this cruel fate; a chance for him to grasp hold of redemption after she had humiliatingly beat him to the ground and pretended to care afterward. 

Kieran’s attention wavered from his brimming thoughts as he realized his walking pace was slowing down. He scoffed at the group of students he had unknowingly caught up to. “Move it,” he warned. 

Heads flew around, and the smallest one yelped out a ‘We’re so sorry!’ before a pathway parted for Kieran to saunter through with his own head held high. Kieran quickly regained his momentum after exhaling and closing his eyes; the academy had been far too soft, and unlike some people, he knew better than to waste his time. There was a reason he was the strongest. 

“Hey, Kieran?” a controlled, well-mannered voice called further down the hall. Kieran’s eyes shifted in annoyance. Another interruption. This is exactly why it was better to be alone.

Kieran swirled around, dragging his loose arms that were by his side in a sweeping motion. His eyes landed on Lacey, who was leaning against the wall outside of a lounge room door. “What do you want?”

“Crispin was looking for you. He’s in the cafeteria.”

Kieran rolled his eyes. “I’m busy.” 

“He said it was important and it can’t wait.”

Kieran groaned, not believing those words for a second. It was typical boorish behavior from someone he refused to view as his peer - another case of a boy who cried Lycanroc. Still, he couldn’t lash out on the messenger. Perhaps he could pile up paperwork on Crispin’s desk as a punishment. Perhaps he could find someone suitable - anyone but Juliana - to train and take his place in the Elite Four. He mulled over exactly how to exact his justice as he pivoted on his heel and stormed in the direction of the cafeteria. 

As soon as he stepped in the cafeteria, the obnoxiously bright energy of his classmate burst into fruition from the open kitchen. “Oh! Kieran! Great, you’re here.” 

Kieran ignored the enthusiasm that assaulted his eardrums. His exhausted ears began to ring from the incessant chattering and clattering of dishes that echoed throughout the vicinity. He hated being here - it only reminded him of darker times. Darker times where he was weak and sitting alone at empty tables, save for his sister who found him every once in a while. He had always told her that his ‘friends just left’ or were ‘stuck in class’, but he didn’t even know if his lies convinced himself. “What’s so important that you need to take time away from my schedule?”

“Well,” Crispin began as he stirred some sort of spicy stew, “I’ve actually been trying to track you down the past few days, but you’re usually on the move. I wanted to ask you about your favorite foods.” He paused to lower the heat as Kieran focused on his breathing while turning his head away - the pungent wafts of chili peppers, garlic, and fresh herbs that were likely harvested from the terrarium hit his nose, and his moderately famished mouth began to water from the inside. 

He tried to appear as aloof as possible. “Why is this necessary information, exactly?” 

“Oh! Um, no reason!” Crispin exclaimed. “I’ve just always seen you eat those energy bars all the time. And I know you’re a super busy person. I could whip up some of your faves from time to time if I know what you like! I already do it for everybody.”

Just as Kieran was about to jeer, Lacey had apparently appeared beside him to drag out the conversation. “You like sweet things, right? You always used to carry around candies.”

“Ohhhh, and the energy bars you have usually have a fruity sweet flavor! You’re just like Juliana.” Crispin loudly remarked. 

Juliana. 

Kieran grunted in annoyance as he registered the syllabus that formed her unforgettable name. Of course the worship for her had already begun. But Crispin had gotten it all wrong - Juliana liked sweet flavors, but she particularly prefers to have foods with a more bitter taste. Her absolute favorite foods would even have a hint of sourness to them; Kieran had learned so himself back when they enjoyed the candy apples he had bought from the festival stands at Kitakami. She had squished her own face like a Magikarp and rattled it back and forth, and Kieran nearly melted because of his nerves before she erupted in a delighted, bubbly laughter. And it was there, in the remaining hours of the borrowed time that was their delicate friendship, that they agreed to find dishes to try that were sweet and sour. Juliana’s excitement over this would ease up the knot in his stomach while twisting his now shriveled up heartstrings. 

It was almost insulting that Crispin couldn’t figure out such an obvious fact about her. 

...But what if her tastes had changed?

No, no. He was certain of her favorites. Certain. He had her memorized like the back of his hand. 

Kieran shook his head to dissolve yet another unwanted memory that haunted him most nights. Why be so nosy and boisterous about such a trivial thing, anyway? The ridiculous request almost peeved him as much as seeing Carmine and Drayton enter and approach. They were babbling on about something - with his sister looking irate and fired up by what Kieran assumed was Drayton’s teasing. It was just another waste of time, and if he hadn’t gotten distracted by all of the commotion, he’d be out in the terrarium by now. “It doesn’t matter.” 

“I am not! ” Carmine barked. 

“But all pretty girls do.” Drayton egged on, from whatever their conversation was about.

A huff escaped his sister in protest. 

“You’re right though, I guess you’re just gorgeous instead.”

“S-Stop it!” 

“You’re so cute when you get all red, though!” 

Kieran tried his best to keep his eyes averted from the touchy pair. Annoying, petty distractions. He whipped his head around to Crispin when he began to speak. 

“Can I just know what kind of cake flavors you like the best, then?” Crispin bargained. 

Cake flavors? Such a preposterous and random inquiry. “Why cake flavors?”

A second later, Lacey jabbed Crispin at his side as he grimaced. She seemed to condemn his name in a hushed tone just as the bothersome noise from behind Kieran died down.

“He always liked funfetti cake the best.” Carmine chimed in.

“Funfetti?” Crispin repeated.

Heat rushed to Kieran’s face. “Sis, shut it!”

“Ohohoho,” Drayton cooly chuckled as he threw his arms over his head. “You know she was spot on after that lil’ man’s roar, though. Right, Kiki?” 

“I don’t wanna hear it from you either, ex-Champion.” Kieran quipped as he began to tap his foot. He was already tired, and this was not how he wanted to expend his energy. The only thing that mattered right now was honing his battle strategies. He had assembled the perfect team, and now the only remaining puzzle piece to solve was to have a perfect counter for every possible move that would work to an opponent’s advantage. Especially one with a Meowscarada as an ace…

“Okay, that’s easy enough!” Crispin responded chipperly. “What about icing?” 

“And what’s your favorite color?” Drayton queried. “Juliana said it was black, but I wanted to make sure.”

The hairs on Kieran’s neck nearly stood up as her name was uttered yet again. Why would she be talking about him?! Unless she was trying to get strategies against him. Yes, that had to be it. This was just a cover up. And it was probably something she had orchestrated to minimize suspicion. 

“And do you have a favorite pokemon typing?” Lacey added.

There it is. She was trying to confirm what typing his ace would likely be, or maybe even verify whether or not he had selected a particular essence to his team that she could counter with type matchups. Little did she know, he had planned against both of those presumptions. His ace was predictably a Hydrapple, sure, but it was a fighting type Hydrapple. And his team had been shuffled around to perfection. Both in terms of type diversity as well as through double match up plays, specifically. Juliana had probably become overwhelmed by his school’s battle culture - she must’ve been doing anything to study him for possible weaknesses. And she’d use the people that were in closest proximity to him to get the answers to her questions. It was all too easy to see. 

They had to be mocking him. 

Kieran waved an arm and began walking. “I’ve had enough of this nonsense.” He nearly grit his teeth as Carmine gripped on his forearm. 

“Oh, Kiki please. Play nice. Crispin’s trying to do something nice for you. They all are.” 

Kieran tugged his arm away from his sister’s grasp. “I don’t see how pestering me is nice,” he snarled. “But maybe if you all spent time training instead of loitering around to give me a proper challenge for once, that’d be nice.” 

Carmine raised her tightened fists and flared her teeth. “Don’t give me that attitude! You should be grateful, especially because Juliana is behind organizing-!” 

Carmine slapped a hand over her mouth, but Kieran’s eyes widened at the last mention of his nemesis’s name that he could tolerate. “Because Juliana what?!”

“It’s nothing! It doesn’t matter.” Carmine fired back. 

“Hey, where are the balloons?” It was another voice - Amarys - peeking through the archway of the kitchen. “Juliana and I are almost done setting up for-” Amarys voice weakened, but then quickly recovered after a brief pause. “...a flying exercise her Gigas will be evaluated on.”

Kieran pressed down on his jaw as he seethed even further. He would not lose focus. He stepped closer to Cramine and eyed her down. “What. About. Juliana?” What was she plotting?!  

A light tap pushed against Kieran’s shoulder, and his scowl threw daggers at Drayton next. “Cool it, dude. We know you got Juliana on the brain-” 

Kieran interrupted as the rage in him began to build, resulting in him furiously tapping his fist against his leg. “You all keep bringing her up.” 

Drayton raised an eyebrow. “You’re usually the one who brings her up.” 

“I want nothing to do with her or this conversation.” Kieran snapped back in a growl as he stomped off. His sister called for him angrily, but he allowed her efforts to be futile as her voice was drowned out by the crowd of students seated in the cafeteria he was now leaving.

Juliana this, Juliana that. 

She practically made herself at home in a corner of his mind, rent free. The last thing he needed was to have other people rope her closer and closer to the center stage - especially now that she could pop out from the other end of the hallways Kieran roamed at any given moment. The thought of such things uneased Kieran; he didn’t like being snuck up on, and he didn’t want to be burned by her again after she had done nothing but that to him since meeting him. It was only a matter of time before she would be able to pinpoint his evasive routines. 

Although…he’d only managed to find her after an announced match against the Elite Four. He had no idea where her dorm room was, or where she spent most of her time. With the exception of their re-encounter in the cafeteria on her first day, wherever she conducted herself was a complete mystery to Kieran. 

His stomach sank at the thought, and he wanted to furiously rub his head as his mind swirled into a charged confusion. 

He couldn’t let himself care about that. He couldn’t let himself care about anything to do with her anymore. Outside of taking her down.

Still, his thoughts betrayed his palm tingled from the recent memory of how she had grabbed his hand to plead him to stay after Lacey’s trial. She had chased him as he left the arena and asked if she was able to spend time with him. He knew better than to pretend he had free time, but he couldn’t muster up the ability to tear his hand away until she had let go.

Kieran looked up and past his wrath as the sight of long and light brunette curls whirred past him. He froze in place and zeroed in on the mane, only to unlock his shoulders as he realized that the locks didn’t belong to the passing girl he had imagined. He rolled his head around and pressed onward. 

The only thing he despised more than thinking about her so much was to have the Colgate idiot point it out. She had stolen practically everything from him: Ogerpon, the love of his family, the lousy inklings of his social life…even the most minimal attention he could receive in fake niceties on his birthday. Ever since she treaded on Blueberry grounds, he could only be reminded of how much loss he was trying desperately to overcome. 

Kieran halted in place as he mentally scanned through his morning and realized that he forgot to pack his potions. He switched directions to make a pit stop at his room. 

Yet another mistake, all because he was reflecting too much on a burned bridge with a girl who he should’ve never met in the first place.

The worst part of it all wasn’t even his absent-mindedness, or even his failures. The worst part of it all was that she stole his train of thoughts more now than ever, no matter how hard he tried to resent her. 

Kieran readied his temper as he grabbed the handle to his door. The knocks that barraged it moments ago were deceivingly soft, but he had already braced himself for a screaming match with Carmine given that she probably dared to follow him. The others wouldn’t even try.

Unless it was Drayton - he would if it meant being able to get under Kieran’s skin. He was toast if he had the nerve to show up at his doorstep to try to do so today of all days.

Kieran swung the door open and nearly stumbled backwards as a pair of rich, earthy eyes locked in an unbreakable glance with his own. Juliana’s long eyelashes fluttered meekly in response to the sudden movement of the door, but her gaze quickly eased. Kieran’s heart began to race in response. “J-Juliana?!”

“Hey, I gotcha! Carmine said I might find you here.” 

He should have expected something like this. He should be sussing out what her next move was, now that she was being bold and finally coming to him herself. But his mind could barely grapple onto the fact that she was mere feet away from him now, and looked even more appealing up close. He had also realized he was tilting his head downward, and began to feel a lightheadedness grow over him as he speculated about how he was probably tall enough to rest his chin on the top of her head. He wondered if he were able to lift her up and spin her around, too…

Lift her up?! Spin her around?! Rest his chin on her head?!

The sudden epiphanies caught him entirely off guard - that must’ve been it. She was standing all cutesy and bashful, and the demeanor was probably part of her cooked up scheme to disarm and dethrone him. She had said something else, but Kieran was too entranced by the cadence of her gentle, yet bubbly tone to register whatever she was talking about. He instead studied the glow in her eyes, and felt something deep inside of him unravel as his heart skipped a beat in rhythm with her smile. The warmth of her presence graced his desolate wrist, and made him realize in a flash how numbed his senses were due to the limitations of sleep deprivation. 

“...So can you come with me?”

“W-What?” he breathed as she tugged him and his feet fell forward. 

Her melodious giggle danced through the air. “I said I wanna take you somewhere! I can’t bring the surprise to you!” 

“The surprise?” Kieran stammered. His legs were feeling wobbly - she wasn’t letting go even as stood still after she managed to separate him from his room.

“Yeah, let’s go! It’ll be so much fun and it can’t happen without you, I promise. Come on!” 

Suddenly, Kieran was being pulled forward once more. His mind went blank as the brightness from her sunshine surfaced through the dark storm clouds that brooded through his consciousness. He wanted to resist - or at least pretend that he wanted to - but the rays of her alluring radiance were striking through and tearing down his walls of merciless might. As he quietly allowed her to lead the way, her hums of joy only melted away his shield further. 

Even if this was all just a ruse, Kieran couldn’t help but entertain the idea. He was always cast to the shadows, forgotten, until he fought again and again to prove his importance. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had genuinely wanted to spend quality time with him, or the  last time someone genuinely invited him somewhere for fun. 

He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time something couldn’t happen without him. He felt as if others preferred to not have him around instead. 

But as she skipped at his side, still leading the way by pulling his loosened wrist, he rode the wave of delusion that whispered how his company was desired. She must’ve studied up hard on her craft; she was practically waving her wand around in his face as she summoned a swirl of Butterfrees in his stomach with her wizardry.

“Okay, okay! Here we are!” Juliana eagerly exclaimed as she stopped in front of the league room. The doors were shut, and the lights were off. It was entirely unusual for Kieran, but his lonesome guard was too mystified by her tricks to become abrasive. 

“Why are we here? Why are the lights off?” 

Juliana was one step ahead, opening the creaking door. She released his wrist and Kieran’s fantasy with it. “Why don’t you turn them on?” 

Kieran took one final look at Juliana, and she seemed to be suppressing a small giggle. He knew she wanted to show him something, and he couldn’t detect a hint of malice in her expression. 

She always seemed so innocent. It was what made the knife in his back sting the most. Kieran braced himself as he flicked on the switch. His eyes winced at the blaring lights that seared his weary eye sockets, but flashes of vibrant, spherical colors entered his vision as he temporarily shut his eyes. When he opened them again, he opened to a chorus of cheers. 

“SURPRISSSSSSSSSSE!!!!”

The faces of the Elite Four and his sister had suddenly emerged from the once empty room, and the circular shapes solidified as colorful balloons that were scattered about in clusters. Each person had their arms thrown up high in the air, and some began to clap as Kieran’s jaw dropped. 

“W-What’s going on?!” 

“We’re gonna play some games, bro!” Drayton exclaimed. “Now that Juliana pinned you down and brought you here. Of course it would be her that’d get you to come…” he mumbled with a snicker. 

Kieran felt his chest tighten, and he shot his attention back to the beaming girl beside him as his pulse began to beat wildly.

“We wanted to throw a little surprise party for your birthday!” 

“Wh-What?” Kieran spilled out, struggling to find words as the heated pressure of having all eyes on him seared through his brain. “I have ta’ train-!” 

“Oh come on, Kiki!” his sister called, but he couldn’t look away from Juliana. Her pearly white smile and flushed cheeks were brighter than the sun.

“It won’t take that long! Like, maybe an hour?” Crispin chimed, but he couldn’t look away from Juliana. She was grabbing his wrist again, and he could only helplessly babble as she dragged him into the room. 

“We can do an hour, and we can keep going if the game goes well and Kieran likes it!” Juliana looked to Kieran for reassurance. “Right?”

“Y-Yeah,” Kieran muttered as Juliana claimed two seats at the table that everyone gathered around. He felt completely torn away from thoughts of the terrarium and of his busy schedule as his eyes darted back and forth between the people that were occupying the space with him. He had Drayton across from him, Carmine to one side, Juliana at the other…and the rest of the elite four circled around in the other seats. They were all chatting in a bunch of different directions, and Kieran barely registered the rules of the game before the barriers of folders emerged between himself and the party of people. Kieran opened the folded paper he randomly drew from a hat, and gulped as fate yet again taunted at his weakness. 

Of course he had drawn her name. She always had a better stroke of luck than him. 

Kieran quietly contemplated his choices, and recalled the acquired daintiness that spoke to him. He dipped his paintbrush into the cup of water that was placed to his side and reached for the pastel paints in front of him.

He knew exactly what to pick for the theme of her mask. 

.

.

.

.

.

“Okay! Anyone need more time?” Carmine hollered over the music that Drayton selected on the stereo. A small crowd of ‘no’s responded, and Kieran was one of them. “Then put your masks on your laps. Underneath the tablecloth where nobody can see. We’ll go around the room and share. I’ll start as an example.”

Carmine held up her painted mask, which depicted a Slacking and got reactions of ‘oooohs’ mixed in with speckles of laughter. “This is for Drayton. He’s lazy and unmotivated just like a Slacking.” 

“Uhh, Carmine, weren’t these supposed to be compliments?” Crispin hesitantly asked. 

Drayton however, was laughing louder than anyone else. “Yeah, I’d put the moves on you every other turn. I know you want more. I’ll treasure this forever, though.” He winked.

“Ah! S-Shut up!” She barked. The two began to push at each other from across the table as Carmine attempted to shove the mask in his hands, and Amarys stepped in to control the mess that was mildly overstimulating Kieran. His foot was bouncing restlessly on the floor, and he was trying his best to stay grounded. He didn’t know why, but he was nervous to present his mask to Juliana…

What would he even say as a justification for the pokemon he picked?

“I shall continue our affair,” Amarys reached down to her seat where she had left her mask after getting up, “This one is for you Carmine.”

The flurry of emotions that were spearheading Carmine moments ago faded as she cooed over the sight of Amarys’s craftsmanship by placing her hands on her cheeks. “Oh my ARCEUS, it’s a LEVANNY!” 

“It’s sooooo detailed and life-like! Amarys, you’re so good at this!” Lacey mused. 

Amarys turned to the group. “I am a painter, so it was no chore.” She shifted her attention back to Carmine. “Carmine, you are a compassionate nurturer and a strong protector. Levanny was an obvious choice for you.” 

Carmine continued to squeal over her new gift as she cradled it in her arms. “It even has the little star freckle that mine has! Thank you!” 

“...I…I c-can go next,” Crispin stuttered, his face suddenly as colored as his hair. “Um…Lacey?” 

Lacey perked up, and Kieran suddenly felt a tension in the room that he couldn’t discern. 

“I m-m-made you this!” Lacey tilted her head, and others began to clap even though Crispin’s work was difficult to interpret. “A Deerling. B-Because you’re….a…dear…LING! You’reLIkeADeerling!” He choked out. 

“Awwwww, is it because I change my bows out every season?” 

Crispin seemed to deflate, and then gave a defeated ‘yeah’. 

“This is so thoughtful! Thank you Crispin!” 

Crispin gasped as Lacey threw her arms around him for a brief hug, and he exasperatedly asked if she actually liked the mask when she pulled away. She reassured him, and said it was like looking at a cute little kid’s drawing, which seemed to bring conflicting emotions to Crispin’s face. 

Kieran nearly threw his head back as the moment finally hit him: did Crispin have a crush on Lacey?

“Your painting's great, Crispin!” Juliana reassured, but Kieran still held his own doubts. He felt his nerves rise as Juliana stated that she wanted to go next - he couldn’t fight his curiosity much longer and yearned to know if she drew his name  just as he drew her name. He felt some of the surge die down as she announced that she had something for Crispin instead.

That’s just not fair. 

But…it shouldn’t matter if she drew him instead - this whole game didn’t matter. He needed to remember that and he needed to get a grip. 

“I made you a Chimchar mask! Sorry if it’s not that good, but-”

“It looks perfect, Juliana.” 

A crowd of eyes temporarily shifted to Kieran, and horror shrouded over him as he realized he spoke without thinking. Drayton in particular seemed to rub salt in the wound of his embarrassment with a snicker, but everyone else carried on by agreeing as Juliana gifted the mask to Crispin after talking about his curiosity and playful nature. 

“Ooh! I’ll go next!” Lacey rejoiced. “Amarys…this is you! You’re a Gothtelle - so brilliantly beautiful, and also so brilliantly smart and wise.” 

“Spot on!” Crispin hollered, and the group continued their rounds of applause and cheers as Amarys dusted her wet eyes. 

“This is so incredibly kind, Lacey.” She managed. 

“Awww, Amarys! Come here!” Lacey said as she pulled her into a tight hug.  

“Why don’t you go next Kieran?” Drayton taunted. 

“Wh-Wha? Me?” 

Carmine was still standing near Drayton, and smacked his shoulder. “How about you go instead, dummy?” 

“Yeah, you go Drayton!” Lacey cheered.

“Dray-ton! Dray-ton!”

“Alright, alright. I’ll go first.” Drayton stated, appeasing the calls of the group. “It’s actually for the birthday boy.”

Kieran’s mood immediately flattened as much as his face. “Oh, great.” He uttered dryly. 

Drayton flipped up his sloppy mask, which seemed to be a wild excuse for-

“Are you kidding me?” Kieran huffed as others laughed and cheered. Juliana was giggling beside him, and his roar died down to a softened groan as he glanced over at her. 

“Everyone! This is KIKI. The super edgy, super macho man Incineroar!” 

Kieran began to protest as Drayton teased him relentlessly, but then crossed his arms and stared at the ground as Drayton continued. “Okay, okay, but really. You have a strong fighting spirit, and you’re pretty damn good at what you do. Just don’t fly too close to the sun and take some more breaks, okay? Now it’s your turn! You’re the only one left!” 

Kieran tried his best to collect his composure, but there was a slight jumble and pressure to his words as he faced Juliana. He attempted to examine the ground as he searched for the right words to say in order to stall presenting his gift. 

“It’s um…I thought about it a lot…and had a few different ideas, but…I uhh…made you this because…you’re kind of like a little fairy.” His voice quieted, and it was almost a muttered whisper. “You’re…very kind…and…”

Pretty.

Adorable.

Easy to love. 

“...sweet, so. This is um…” He lifted the mask.

“A Ribombee mask?” Juliana’s face once again eclipsed over the moon that was Kieran’s aching heart. “I love it!”  

She leaned in and wrapped her arms around Kieran, and he froze before carefully and lightly placing one of his arms on her back. Everyone was clapping and cheering - it looked normal, it probably even felt normal to her. Other people have been hugging after all. But as he inhaled the sugary sweet kiss of her scent, the drum that was heart only began to boom louder and louder as he started to recognize why it was so hard to think about anything but her. 

How he deduced in himself what he deduced about Crispin moments ago.

Oh. OH NO.

And Juliana burying her face against his shoulder only paralyzed him even further. He felt as if he wanted to stay as they were forever while simultaneously wanting to drown at the same time. 

“Okay, okay! One more thing to wrap the night. Everyone, wait here!” Crispin stated as he clapped his hands together before disappearing from the room once again.

Kieran yawned as he felt a wave of tiredness cradle over him. He didn’t mean it, but he ended up spending the day in the League Room with the very group he had been pushing away. He didn’t understand why, but he felt lighter, and he felt seen. They were playing a bunch of games that became progressively more enjoyable, and Kieran nearly fainted whenever Juliana kept calling him as her partner any time they had to work in pairs.

By the time Crispin entered the room again, Drayton had dimmed the lights. There was a faint glow casting from the candles on a confetti cake with vanilla icing on it, and his sister had plopped a party hat on his head that had suddenly appeared on everyone else. Kieran felt his throat closing as the cake came closer, and the group began to sing:

“Haaaapppyyyy Birthddaayyyy toooooo youuuuuu,

Haaaapppyyyy Birthddaayyyy toooooo youuuuuu,

Haaaapppyyyy Birthhhhdaayyyyy deeeeearrrr Kieerrrannn, 

Haaaapppyyyy Birthddaayyyy toooooo youuuuuu!” 

.

.

.

.

.

Kieran hurried back to his door room, selfishly attempting to breathe in the air that had escaped him back in the League Room. He had thankfully remained sturdy throughout the cake celebration, and he was mere seconds away from being able to pour out the tidepools of his sickened, sorry self out on his floor. 

He didn’t know why, but he became overwhelmed.

He was overwhelmed with the attention. With the smiles and laughter that went from threatening to tolerable to questionable. His throat began to tighten again as he couldn’t help but feel like this was all too good to be true - that they would all go back to being far, far away from him. Just like how it had always been. 

He may be the Champion now, but he never felt so alone. And it was better to leave before you get left. 

He turned to slam the door, but it caught on something just as he was about to succumb fully to his weakness. 

“Are you okay? You really seemed to rush out of there.” 

Of course it was her. Maybe this was her plan all along.

“I’m fine,”  Kieran choked out as he clutched his chest. “Just leave me alone.”

“...Okay.” Juliana quietly mumbled. “But before I go, can I just run something by you real quick? It’s…really important.” 

Kieran paused, not sure of what to do. He was vulnerable, barely keeping himself at the seams. He heard the door creak open from behind him and shut. It seemed that she was determined to have her way, and all he could do was helplessly attempt to look stronger than he actually is. 

He had a lot of practice with that. 

“I came up with that mask game because I figured you wouldn’t want everyone to give you a gift. I thought it might feel a little overwhelming. And I figured it would be easier if everyone was getting a gift that we all made on the spot. And the rest could just be some nice quality time together. But…I got upset that I didn’t draw your name.” 

Kieran turned, knowing fully well that his sullen expression was undressed. But Juliana was averting her eyes, and her face had a hue of a rosy pink. 

“I knew I probably wouldn’t!” She rapidly exclaimed, making temporary eye contact. “So…I had this gift ready anyways. I hope it comes across right, and I hope you can accept it.” 

Kieran blinked rapidly and waited, but then Juliana sheepishly asked him to close his eyes and hold out his hand. He obeyed, and the weight of what felt like another mask rested on his palms. He opened his eyes and they widened as Juliana took a breath and began to explain the gift.

“You’re very strong. You have always been, and you’re so capable in so many ways. I thought about making all of the masks, but I felt like the Teal Mask made the most sense. Ogerpon used to hide behind it because she didn’t want others to think she was weak. She took on everything alone, but she started to shine the brightest when she let others in and just let herself be free. In so many ways…you’re like Ogerpon. You’re legendary, and I think you’re one of a kind.”

The words struck at Kieran like a Hyper Beam, and he nearly forgot to breathe. He felt his insides turn to mush as his eyes began to well up beyond his control. But Juliana was still looking down as she continued to explain her creation.

“And I…just hope you know, I really do want you to be able to be friends with her like you’ve always imagined. I’ve always wanted that. I’ve always wanted to be by your side, too.” Her voice began to quiver, and tears spilled down her own cheeks. “I’ve… really missed you , and I just hope we…can…be okay if we’re not? I’m…I’m not sure if we are, I feel like you’re far away even though we’re in the same place again. And I’m really sorry if I still hurt you back at Kitakami. I never meant to trick you or anything like that. But I know I could’ve still hurt you, anyway.” 

Kieran’s face began to falter as more tears rolled down her cheeks, and as he grunted, they poured out over his own stinging face. “Juliana…I…am so sorry, too.” 

Juliana breathed a mix of a whine and a relieved sigh before lunging at Kieran, but this time, he opened his arms and held her tightly in an embrace that released the rain from the storm that lurked in his tortured mind. He clung to her as if she were a lifeboat in the forceful tides that erupted from the wild, untamed depths of his mind. They gushed out of his throat like chlorine cleaning acid as he clutched her while he fell to the ground and wept in her arms. She seemed to be swimming in her emotions, too, but her kindness enveloped him anyways, and gradually soothed the storms of his soul. 

When he finally calmed, he felt like he could sleep against her like a fluffy pillow. He pulled away and quietly uttered her name as they stared at each other, and then her tender hand cupped his cheek after tucking away a strand of his hair. She had shattered the dam that guarded his hidden fragility and had managed to solidify it as an even stronger force. She was here now, in the trenches of his isolated mind, sparkling her beautiful beams of light and filling the void he had been burned with. It was as if their differences had synced into a harmonious blend, the dichotomy in their hearts mixing into a united force. His eyes flickered to her lips, and the two slowly inched closer and closer together…

“HEY, BIRTHDAY BOY. Oh, and Juliana!” Drayton exclaimed as he slammed the door open. Both Kieran and Juliana yelped and immediately ushered away from each other. “Am I interrupting something?” 

“No!” The two shouted in a suspicious unison. 

“...Right….well,” Drayton continued, and Kieran internally swore he was going to strangle him later, “You both left your stuff in the League Room. We’re gonna play another round of Charades if you’re interested, but no pressure if you rather head to bed.” 

Juliana looked to Kieran, and he cleared his throat before he spoke. “We’ll go but…Juliana’s gotta be my partner."

“Oh really?” 

The two stood up, and Kieran grabbed Juliana’s hand to guide her out the door. “She’s always gonna be my partner.” 

Juliana giggled at his side, and it was music to his ears. “Yeah, what he said.”

“Mmm…called it. Whatever you say, lovebirds.” Drayton mused as he fell in step. 

Kieran would definitely get revenge on him later. 

But for now? He would be happy. 

He looked at Juliana once more, and couldn’t help but smile when their eyes met again. 

Perhaps birthdays didn’t have to be so bad.