Chapter Text
Lily straightened her dress nervously, tugging at the embroidered yellow fabric. It was pretty, but not exactly her style, too loud, and it clashed with her bright red hair. She also knew that when the time came to wear it in front of the ton, her mother would lace her up so tight she could barely breathe.
“You look beautiful.” Her mother smiled happily, giving her a huge smile of relief that they’d finally found a non-bankrupting dress that looked half decent on her, “What do you think, Petunia?” Lily’s sister looked over from where she’d been browsing. Petunia had long blonde hair, pinned back in graceful curls, a slightly thin face, long neck, and light blue eyes that looked like she was staring into your soul. Petunia gave a hum of agreement, turning back to look at the fabric she’d been admiring. Lily felt herself deflate slightly, ever since Petunia had been presented at court, she’d gotten more uptight and more sharp, and since she’d got engaged to Vernon Dursley, she’d been almost insufferable. Their mother had been over the moon, and Lily had congratulated them as she had been expected to, but she still privately thought he was a prick.
Lily tuned out her mother’s excited mutterings about new dresses and balls, just humming and nodding when it seemed like she was supposed to speak. Lady Evans had a wonderful talent for keeping a conversation going all by herself, which was rather useful at times.
“Well, you look lovely darling, you’ll wear this to Lady McGonagall’s ball.” Her mother smiled, “It will be the perfect thing to show you off.” Lily nodded dutifully, inwardly scowling at the thought of being paraded around like a prized pig. She wanted more. Her mother bustled around with the seamstress, sliding the yellow dress off her. Petunia followed after them, asking about some ribbons or something or other. Lily rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache forming around her temples. An assistant hurried over, inquiring if she was alright, but the redhead just waved off her concern airily, letting the assistant help her back into her purple dress.
Glancing over, it looked as if her mother and Petunia were still busy with the seamstress, fixing some detail or other.
“Lily!” An excited voice cried behind her, and Lily turned to see her best friend, Marlene McKinnon, standing in the doorway, accompanied by her extremely bored brother.
“Marls!” Lily returned Marlene’s excitement. The McKinnon family were very well off, with Marlene’s older brother having married well and having a good head for business. Marlene, unlike Lily, had already been presented at court. She had curly blonde hair fashioned into a bun, and a sky blue dress made from a shimmery fabric that made her seem as if she was floating. A wide grin was split across her face and her eyes were shining as she looked at her.
“How’s dress shopping going?” Marlene asked, slightly mockingly, taking a hold of Lily’s arm.
“You see that yellow dress over there?” Lily asked, pointing over to where her mother was standing.
“Yes.”
“That’s mine.” Lily faked a smile.
“Yikes.” Marlene winced, before hastily correcting herself, “I mean, I’m sure it’s wonderful, but I just never thought of yellow as particularly… your colour.” Lily rolled her eyes in response.
“It’s not, really.”
“Are you coming to visit later?” Marlene asked as her brother motioned for them to leave.
“Have you got somewhere to be?” Lily raised an eyebrow as Marlene glanced at the door.
“‘Fraid so, we only stopped because I saw you.” Marlene pursed her lips, “We’re going to the Potter’s for afternoon tea. Between me and you, I think my Mama is still trying to get me to marry James, I’ve told her a thousand times it’s never going to happen, but she’s not so good with the hints.”
“If you call for me later, I’ll probably be in.” Lily told her, hoping that Marlene would stop by. Her life was never as interesting without the company of her best friend.
Marlene winked cheekily, “See you later, darling.”
Lily watched the McKinnon siblings walking away, Marlene getting chided by her brother. The bell tinkled as they left. She already felt their absence.
“Was that Marlene McKinnon and her brother?” Her mother inquired, coming over to stand at Lily’s side.
“Yes.”
Lady Evans hummed, “That girl is a will unto herself, I’ve heard her mother’s going half mad trying to convince her to marry.”
Petunia tutted, “I heard that she’s stringing along that Potter boy.”
Lily scowled, “She’s not.”
The two turned to her, surprised at her fierceness. Lily knew Marlene knew about what people said about her, they weren’t particularly subtle, and she knew she tried to pretend like it didn’t bother her, but Lily knew Marlene better than to believe her.
“Don’t scowl. It’s unladylike.” Was all her mother said, turning back to Petunia to carry on gossiping about something or other, gesturing for Lily to follow them out of the shop.
.~.
The birds tweeted out in the square, perched happily on the branches of freshly-blooming spring cherry blossoms. Faint chatter from the people below drifted up to the window where Lily sat, staring out at the square from her room. Pride and Prejudice was open on her lap. She’d read it as soon as it came out, and it quickly became one of her favourites, although Marlene wasn’t a big reader, she’d been thoroughly invested in the scandals of Mr Darcy and Elizabeth.
As she watched the people strolling along the street, Lily let her mind drift to the thought of the next day. She was going to be presented in front of the queen. The thought made her stomach turn. Being thrust into the public eye had never been her idea of a ‘good time’, and being examined by all those eyes… It made her feel slightly sick. At least she’d have Marlene to keep her company, although her mother had been making some comments that made her think she might not see as much of the blonde as she hoped. Mrs Evans had dropped some hints that sticking to the side of Marlene McKinnon, the girl who very infamously didn’t want to get married, like glue, might somewhat damage her chances at finding a good husband. Unfortunately for Lily, her family weren’t as well off as Marlene’s, and her mother was desperate to get Lily and Petunia married as quickly as possible.
In and out. Lily schooled her breathing as it started to quicken. She’d gotten used to it. Stop the fits before they start. Nobody can know, she reminded herself, repressing her watery eyes. Her mother had tried in vain to get rid of her fits, doctors, shouting, beating, herbs, teas, nothing had worked. When everything got too much, Lily’s breath would get away from her, she’d feel light headed, like she was about to collapse, the world would spin and she’d break into sobs. She’d cry even harder when they came near her, trying to touch her when everything felt like it was on fire. In and out. She’d gotten used to hiding them.
A knock sounded on the door to her room and Lily clenched her fists.
“Come in.”
“Miss Marlene McKinnon’s here for you.” Their maid informed her.
“I’ll be right down, Linda.” Lily smiled, sliding off the window seat, smoothing down her dress. Linda nodded, backing out of the room. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Lily took in her round face, carrot-red hair and miss-matched freckles that always got her judgemental looks. If she wasn’t in fine clothes, she could easily be mistaken for a commoner and she knew it. Shaking off the thoughts, Lily turned and left the room, heading downstairs to meet Marlene for a stroll.