Work Text:
Despite being incredibly anxious the entire night, buck really did like Tommy. He enjoyed the date, regardless of the obstacles they encountered throughout it. Eddie and Marisol made a surprise appearance, and after that Buck failed to keep a steady flow of conversation with Tommy. Did he notice? This is all so new to him. Buck wasn’t out to anyone yet and the fact that Eddie caught him in the middle of their date spooked him a little. I mean, he even lied to Eddie, which was also something he rarely did. Maybe he bought it and thought they were just hanging out. Buck could only hope.
“Wow, 16 screens huh?” Buck said with a nervous chuckle while taking short glances at Tommy. “18” Tommy said bluntly. “Wow, so many choices,” Buck said with a light smile. Buck glances towards the quiet street as a car pulls up. “Oh hey is this ours,” Buck said gesturing towards the white car making its way towards the curb.
“No it’s mine. I think I’m gonna skip the movie” Tommy said, looking back at Buck. Buck’s expression dropped. Not necessarily sadness, just confusion. “Why? What do you mean” Buck said desperately, searching for answers on Tommy’s face.
“Evan, I think you’re adorable. I really do. But I don’t think you’re ready. Not with me at least” Tommy said, taking long glances towards the ground. “What do you mean? Not ready? If not with you, then who else? I’ve spent all this time trying to get your attention…” Buck said, trying to get out as many words as possible in the small amount of time. Tommy had already opened the door to the cab, and it was clear there was no convincing him to stay.
“I don’t think it was my attention you were trying to attract Evan” Tommy said, cutting him off. It was the last thing he said before getting into the car. Buck watched as the car began to drive off, leaving him standing outside the restaurant more confused than ever.
------------------------------------------------------
The last sentence Tommy said had been weighing on Buck’s mind for hours. What did he mean?
“I don’t think you’re ready. Not with me at least” has played over and over in his head a million times by now. It was bothering him so much that he decided to go visit Maddie early the next morning. He didn’t have a shift today, which gave him an infinite amount of time to think about the events that unfolded last night.
------------------------------------------------------
“So you lied to Eddie” Maddie questioned as she unlocked her front door and headed towards the kitchen.
“Yeah, and it’s kinda been eating me up inside,” Buck replied, while frantically looking around the house. “Chimney’s not here is he”, Buck interrogated.
“No, he’s on his way to take Jee to daycare” Maddie said with a slight tone to her voice that Buck couldn’t quite make out. It was normal for Buck to sporadically come have morning coffee or tea with Maddie on his days off. They’ve both been busy lately and were often missing each other a bit.
“What’s been going on?” Maddie asked, while settling into the kitchen.
“So I had a date. We picked a place that was kinda out of the way. Or so I thought, because when we were sitting there Eddie and Marisol walked in. So Eddie knows this person and I guess I was feeling caught off guard because I lie. I make it seem like we’re just hanging out.”
“Are you dating a married woman?” Maddie interrupts, sounding shocked before she even knew the answer . “What no, I would never do that” Buck says quickly in response. “Is it a celebrity?” Maddie questioned again, trying to get as much information out of Buck as possible. “Listen, who it is doesn’t matter. The point is I lied to my best friend's face.
“Okay, so why do you think you did that?” Maddie asks. It was a question he hadn’t really thought about. Buck didn’t think that Eddie would mind, or so he hoped. He was caught by surprise and hadn’t even begun to think about ways to tell people he’s come to terms with his bisexuality. To be fair he’s barely been able to process it himself. Everything happened so fast. There were only a few days between his first kiss with a man and his first date with Tommy. He’s been so caught up in work that he hasn’t really had time to think. This is the first time he’s getting all his thoughts out to someone other than his bedroom walls, so he begins to ramble. Maybe a bit too much.
“I don’t know.” he replies simply. “It’s like it was my voice but someone else was talking and the lie just slid its way out of my mouth and I couldn’t stop it. It was humiliating. My date was right there and as you can imagine the night ended pretty quick after what happened. He left me standing outside the restaurant and now I just feel like a fraud” Buck explained.
“I’m sorry, who left you outside of the restaurant?” Maddie asked out of genuine confusion. “My date,” Buck replied simply. “Can we go back to the pronoun?”
Buck’s head began to spin. How did he let that slip? He hadn’t even noticed. He didn’t plan on coming out to Maddie today, but there was no way around it now. He had already come this far into the explanation, and if anyone could help ease his mind right now it would be his sister. He took a deep breath, thinking about his next words carefully.
“ Uh, yeah okay I was on a date with a guy. Again, not really the point” Buck said quickly. He tried to gloss over it. Maybe if he pretended it wasn’t a big deal, Maddie wouldn’t put too much of a stressor on it.
“Hmm could be very much the point” she says in a high pitched voice. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t weirded out. Just surprised. Buck could deal with that. Relief quickly fell over him.
“Well it shouldn’t be though right? I mean, I’ve always been an ally” Buck said with confidence. “Well now you’re more than an ally,” Maddie says. She was right. Buck couldn’t keep calling himself an ally. Not when he’s this deep into things. He had his first kiss with a man. His first kiss with Tommy. The truth is he loved it. When he kissed him, everything slowly began to make sense. It’s like there was a broken puzzle in his head and all the pieces slowly started coming together when he kissed Tommy.
“It was my first time. It was dinner and a movie, and I didn’t even make it to the movie” Buck chuckled slightly, recalling the incident that unfolded outside the restaurant.
“Wow…I didn’t think that that’s where your interests would lie” Maddie states. Although there is some truth to that, Maddie has always had certain thoughts in the back of her head when it came to her brother. The way he acts with Eddie specifically, wasn’t purely platonic. It couldn’t have been. I mean when Eddie was trapped underground on that call, he tried digging to him with his bare hands because the rest of his team wasn’t moving fast enough for him. That was love if she’s ever seen it. She was thinking of these incidents as Buck continued.
“I mean I love women, I’ve always loved women.” Buck adds. Maddie glances at him again, thankful that he’s come to her about all this. “Well how long have you been leaning in the other direction?” she asks. “I haven’t. Not specifically. I mean sure I’ll check out a hot guy's ass but that’s normal” he says.
Maddie chuckles. “There it is. That’s normal? Really Buck” she thought to herself. She was questioning how he was having those thoughts and didn’t find out sooner, but happy he’s finally discovered it now. “Uhh it’s not abnormal..” She decided she would reply after going through multiple responses in her head.
“I mean with Tommy… I don’t know, he’s just so confident. He’s interesting..” he goes on. ‘Wait… it’s the SAME Tommy” Maddie asks out of surprise. The same Tommy who he’d come to her about days ago because he was playing basketball with HIS best friend. The same Tommy who Buck was just jealous of. The same Tommy who was stealing the attention of Christopher and making Buck think he’s being replaced. That Tommy?
“Okay. I don’t think you’re a fraud. I just think that maybe you aren’t sure of your own feelings yet. If there’s something that you need to tell Eddie… you will. In your own time”. Maddie says with a light smile. She doesn’t think Buck is lying about his sexuality. In fact, she’s had the thought in her head for quite some time now. What she wasn’t sure about is who Buck was truly having these feelings for. It seemed to her as though he was deflecting his feelings for Eddie onto Tommy. But what did she know? It wasn’t her place to outright tell him. He’ll figure it out soon enough.
“Now tell me more about this hot pilot” she says while letting out a soft laugh and giving Buck a short half hug. This is it. This is exactly what Buck needed. His sister.