Chapter Text
Tony blew into SHIELD headquarters, intent on finding and retrieving his favorite big green rage monster and fetching him home to Stark Tower where such a stunning mind clearly belonged.
“Candyland, I told him about candyland, why the fuck would he be doing anything in SHIELD’s substandard facilities when my fantastically awesome labs are ripe for the plundering?” Tony paused, eyes narrowed in thought. “Fury. That sneaky one-eyed motherfucker doubtless has something to do with it.”
Tony continued muttering imprecations against inscrutable pirate ninja spies while randomly invading random rooms and labs, on a spirited but hopelessly inefficient search for Bruce. He didn’t run across his new science boyfriend, but in a rec room, he did stumble over an archer, looking downtrodden and slumped into a sofa that matched the SHIELD decor, ultra-modern, hideous, and uncomfortable as hell.
“Legolas! Do you know where SHIELD is hiding my favorite breach of the law of conservation of mass?”
Clint looked away from whatever he was watching on the television. “What the hell?”
Tony cocked his head. “My new science bro, breathtaking anger management issues, is any of this ringing a bell? How hard did you hit your head when you went through that window, anyway?”
Tony tilted his head the other way. “Is that Supernanny?” he said, considerably more subdued.
Clint stared for a few seconds, then slumped back in front of the television without saying a word.
Tony watched the program for a few seconds, then watched Clint for a few more seconds, and shook his head. “Okay, Katniss, up and at ‘em, we have a search and rescue mission to accomplish.”
Clint groaned, “Stark, I don’t know where Banner is, but I’m sure you’ll find him in a lab somewhere, you don’t need my help.”
Tony just grinned and grabbed Clint by the arm, pulling and whining. “Nope, that’s enough Style Network for you. Your feathers are looking disheveled and droopy, you obviously need to get fresh air and sunshine, maybe some fresh birdseed, what do hawks eat anyway? Whatever it is, I’m sure I have some of it, now come on, we’ll go fetch Bruce, and both of you crazy kids can come to the Tower. Lots of windows, lots of sunlight, and the best entertainment technology on the planet. Win-win, Birdbrain.”
Clint, for some reason, allowed himself to be towed along on this wave of words and terrible bird humor. But before Tony hauled him bodily from the rec room, he managed to wedge a word in to ask, “How’d you know Supernanny airs on the Style Network, anyway?”