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James was full of excess energy as he bounded into the room and flopped into the couch across from his lover.
"We talked about staring, didn't we?" Regulus asked as he flipped the page of the novel he was reading.
"We did." James confirmed as he bit his lip, his foot fidgeting where it hung off the couch.
Regulus sighed as he picked up his bookmark and stuck it between the pages before shutting his book to give his boyfriend the attention his eyes begged for.
"Can I tell you something?" James whispered.
Regulus nodded, a puzzled look on his face.
"You feel like a garden." James spoke before grinning brightly. "Well, not a garden- the garden from school- all vibrant and-"
"Excuse me, what?" Regulus laughed at the absurdity.
It was like slow motion, watching his boyfriend's face drop as he tried to explain until he just- stopped.
"I-" Regulus started to speak but James recovered quickly, plastering a fake smile over the his expression of hurt as he sat upright and planted his feet on the floor firmly.
"Haha, right- funny." James pretended to laugh as he stood. "I have a thing- I- enjoy your book."
James was quick to leave the room, leaving Regulus alone in the lounge.
Regulus thought about going after him, but thought better of it. Deciding to give him a few moments alone before he makes his move.
He picked up his phone to see Barty had sent a TikTok to the group chat.
Regulus shrugged his shoulders as he loaded the video. He had a few minutes to kill before he needed to address what the fuck that was with his boyfriend.
The video was a slideshow of aesthetic photos while a song played in the background.
"Everywhere, everything
I wanna love you 'til we're food for the worms to eat
'til our fingers decompose
Keep my hand in yours..."
The music played as the photos cycled through until it paused on the last and text popped up in the middle of the screen:
"My partner doesn't feel like home. My home was toxic. They feel like my nana's on a cold day in the fall, a warm cup of tea in my hand and leaves falling on the ground. What does your partner feel like to you?"
"Shit." Regulus sighed as he realized James' confession wasn't so silly after all.
Regulus knew James had a good childhood, though, riddled with learning disabilities and a hard time making friends due some mental illnesses that presented early.
He remembered James spending hours cultivating the garden at their boarding school, spending afternoons with his hands in the soil as he worked up a sweat, and tanned his skin in the spring sun. Helping things grow with his hands, and his heart.
The way he never gave up on those, or on the plants in their flat- or on people- on him.
Even when Regulus begged James to leave him for dead, he didn't.
Wouldn't.
He couldn't see the rational in comparing himself to the garden- but he could understand association.
He had some serious making up to do.
Regulus was quick to head to the kitchen and start preparing his 'I'm sorry' lunch for James.
"Jamie?" Regulus knocked on their bedroom door.
"It's open." James' voice was distant, not caused by the door between them.
James was looking his way as he opened the door.
"Will you go on a drive with me?" Was the first thing out of his mouth.
Sure, he could have opened with an 'I'm sorry' but he knew James would just shrug it off.
James was one for grand displays, and he needed to get James to see his; sure it wasn't grand, it would be only them. But it was grand to Regulus, sharing something so personal. They just needed to get there.
"Where we going?"
"The beach." Regulus answered easily.
"Okay." James nodded. "Let's go."
The drive was long, the sun was high in the sky, warm spring air was salty and fresh.
"It's pretty out here." James smiled as Regulus pulled the cooler and the blanket from the back seat.
"It is." Regulus agreed before he gestured to the path down. "Let's go."
The walk down to the shore was relatively easy.
Regulus set everything up as James stared out over the water.
"I've never been to this spot." James smiled fondly as he looked to Regulus who had laid out the blanket and was now unloading their lunch from the cooler.
"This was my spot, with Siri and Cissa." Regulus responded with ease.
"With Cissa?" James asked as he sat down across from his lover.
Regulus nodded. "Sometimes, when things got to be too much at home, Cissa would come by and pick us up. She was already married, so it wasn't often but... but it was nice. Needed."
"I didn't know that."
"You remind me of this spot." Regulus blurted out. "Salt on my face, breeze in my hair. The sun hot and the water cold. My brother happy, smiling. You feel like this exact spot. Safe."
"I do?" James asked in surprise.
Regulus nodded again. "I- I didn't understand until I thought about it. Until I saw the context."
James nodded in response. "I get it-"
"I'm sorry." Regulus whispered between them. "I understand now."
"It's okay." James whispered sweetly.
"Can I ask a question?" Regulus asked softly.
"Yeah."
"Is there a specific plant that I feel like, to you?" Regulus wondered aloud.
"Yes, but it's not something we have outdoors." James explained with a grin. "Fragrant, beautiful, versatile, hates the cold."
"Arabian Jasmine?" Regulus asked as he thought about the vined plant in his corner that James took meticulous care of.
"Yes." James grinned. "A plus for Mr. Black."
"I love you." Regulus snorted.
"Love you too, Starboy."