Chapter Text
He told her he doesn't sleep. He never liked it and failed to see the point of it. Now, though... It was different. He told her he dreams of her. And she couldn't be happier.
This sweet man who's spent millennia of suffering in solitude- she thought he deserved the world. For a long time now, she had wished him peace. Even for just a few minutes, she wanted him to have a taste of respite. She can hardly believe the sight before her now.
For the first time, she's seeing him at ease. Relaxed and calm, all on his own. She hadn't needed to nudge him or encourage him. She felt her heart soar. It was like it was leaping among the clouds.
She never thought that her heart could be so full. She never once imagined she would feel such a strong sense of contentment from watching this poor, tortured soul sleep. She had to fight the urge to tuck a strand of his green and black hair away behind his ear. She wished not to startle him. She only wished to bask in this rare sight: the sight of this yaksha truly at ease, without her gentle nudging. It was a privilege, seeing him relaxed. Without having his guard up. His vulnerability was not one he allowed many, if anyone to see.
She can still remember the first time she found him sleeping. He wasn't pleased then. He had insisted he doesn't sleep. It was not in the way of the adepti. Now, to have seen him doze off next to her, unprompted, was a true gift for her. For the first time, he let himself be vulnerable. And the first person who gets to experience this, to witness this, is... her.
For the first time in a long time, she too, feels at ease. There's no nation to save, people to help, or errands to run, nothing. She didn't even have the constant chatter of Paimon to keep her occupied. She thought she would feel restless, with nothing to do. But... no. Right now, all she wants is to sit here, beneath this great tree, right next to a friend most dear.
Right now, in this moment, she has no other wants. She doesn't want to run around and do commissions, she doesn't want to chase after any bounties, she doesn't want to hunt for any treasure like she usually does. No. She doesn't even want to go searching for clues or leads of Aether. And he's the whole reason for her journey through Teyvat. Right now, she wants to stay right here. For the first time in a long time, she wants to do nothing but sit quietly next to him. She wants to be there for him when he wakes. She wants him to experience a sweet awakening, not just sweet dreams. She lets her eyes focus on the way his chest rises and falls with each breath and the way that his arms are nowhere near his body at all. She feels honored that he feels such safety with her. He feels comfortable enough with her to rest his head on her lap without batting an eye, and that, to her, was absolutely special.
Slowly, his eyes blink open and he looks up at her with his sharp, amber eyes. The very same eyes that looked into hers when they first met, atop the balcony of Wangshu Inn, on a warm night with teal and gold fireflies aplenty. She had thought that those sharp, piercing eyes hid something far softer and more delicate then. Now, four years later, not only did she confirm that she was right, but she came to realize that he himself hides how soft and sweet he truly is.
She sees his gentle nature every single time they meet. He sees it in the way he instantly comes to her side when she calls for him, in the way he lovingly keeps all her gifts and trinkets, and in the way he exchanges quiet words with her in private. She sees it now, in the way he smiles at her, serene, content, and sweet when his amber eyes meet her golden ones again.
"Hi. Did you have a sweet dream?" she asks him.
A moment of silence passes between them before he shakes his head softly as he reaches up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"I have no need for sweet dreams when the waking world is far sweeter," he whispers.
Dreams. He never liked them. Every time, he always saw red. Red, red, red, red. Red everywhere. It stained the grass and flowed through verdant fields and soft dirt. It spread like wildfire, scorching pure white snow. It dripped down his hands, stained the tip of his spear, and dyed his clothes.
Red. Red, red, red, red. The manifestation of his sins. They constricted and strangled him. They tortured and tormented him, like crimson bonds- no. They were crimson bonds. They wrapped around his wrists and ankles. They're the reminders of the sins he committed and the atrocities he carried out and they would forever hold him back. They would forever haunt him. That was his fate. That was his karma. That was his debt. One that he could never repay.
Red. His constant companion. Red. His constant tormenter. He saw nothing but red. He would forever see red. That was one fact of his life he was resigned to. He is a cursed being. A tainted being. A harmful being. Those that got in his way faced nothing but regret for ever crossing his path. His foes; slaughtered. His comrades; lost. Civilians; caught in the crossfire while he battled with the damned. He destroyed. He protected. But his protection was through merciless slaughter. No matter what, he would always be stained with red.
But recently, his dreams were... different. Over the past few nights, the red... waned. Faded. Dulled. From dark, bloodlike crimson to a red the color of roses. The red then turned to pink. Pink like the clouds at sunset. And the pink gave way to other colors. Green, blue, yellow... and gold. Beautiful, gleaming gold. They shone like twin suns. They illuminated his world. And with gold, was white. Pure, clean, white. Untainted.
His dreams are now ever sweeter. More peaceful. Gone are the crimson-red karmic bonds. Gone are the bloodstains on the earth. Gone is the red that stained his hands.
For the first time, he liked dreaming. What once tormented him now brings him peace. They soothe him after battles and offer him respite during the days when his karmic debt brings him to his knees.
For the first time, he enjoys his dreams. He's no longer bound by crimson chains or tormented by the voices and screams of the slaughtered. Instead, he dreams of leisurely strolls and light-hearted outings. The red has been replaced by shining golden suns and pure, untainted white. The fear dissipated and gave way to serenity and joy. His dreams are now of her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her care. Gone is the red. Gone is the torment. But... does he deserve this? Does he deserve her? He is tainted. Corrupted and broken. Are these sweet dreams really what he deserves? She should have kept her distance. She should have. But... she didn't. Instead, she inched ever closer, every day. Every month. Every year. These sweet dreams... he wants them. He looks forward to them. He wants to deserve them. He wants to deserve her.
For the first time... he enters the waking world with a smile. Twin golden suns greeted his eyes, accompanied by a pure, untainted white. He reaches out to them, arm raising up and running through soft, golden hair. For the first time... both his dreams and reality are sweet.