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“I’m scared.” He muttered, barely above a whisper. It was so uncharacteristically truthful that the words caught Simeon off guard. Enough that he thought he simply misheard. Asmodeus, Jewel of the Heavens himself was at his most vulnerable. Simeon turned his eyes towards him.
“..How so?” A foolish question. He wished he didn’t say it at all.
Asmodeus almost immediately straightens up, away from the warm embrace they’ve shared together in the cool breeze. “Nevermind..! It’s nothing- Really, trust me!” He hastily tried to get his words out, his hand tidying up the strands of hair that became disheveled.
Simeon reached to hold Asmo’s hand in his. It was warm, Simeon’s hands were warm. Like they always were whenever they were out on these trysts. Familiar as ever… And as taboo as ever. They were angels. Simeon is an angel. They were never supposed to indulge in things like this,
“I thought you had already made your choice?” The question stung, it stung because he was right. Asmodeus has already chosen between the Celestial Realm and his brothers. There was no choice to begin with. He’d always choose his family.
“Of course I have.” Yet his lips began to quiver, his hand lightly trembled. Simeon’s grasp softened.
Asmo tore his gaze away from Simeon’s, looking at his hand in his. He felt himself grit his teeth for a moment, words bubbling in his throat, threatening to scorch him from the inside, yet he cannot seem to find the right ones. Charming Asmodeus, beloved by all, Jewel of the Heavens, will that all disappear by dawn’s light? The thought terrified him.
“Then that’s that.” Simeon sighed, a reluctant smile on his face. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
“You won’t stop me? You won’t tell me to stay with you..?-” The tremor in his voice only served to make his dilemma clearer to the other angel.
Simeon put Asmo’s hand up to his face, Asmo felt the warmth of his cheek even through the cooler air. “I’ve failed to convince Lucifer, I’d assume that I’d fail here as well, Asmodeus.” As Asmo was going to defend himself- if that even was the right word, Simeon interrupted.
“Simply because as you’ve said, you made your choice. I know the love you hold towards your family will take you farther than what the Celestial Realm will permit.” Farther from me. Simeon left unsaid. “And so, I only wish to spend this night the same as all our other nights.”
Asmo felt much too warm. It felt overwhelming to discuss this with someone. He was always the lovable and adored Asmodeus, yet with Simeon, it was far too much. He loved him too. He wanted to say- it was so unfamiliar to him. Such a far away concept that he couldn’t grasp. Yet the moment he met Simeon’s eyes again, it’s like the words died in his throat.
“Are you just fine with that?! The fact that this might be the last time we see eachother again- You’re just- letting me go?!”
“That’s not-”
“Then why can’t you come with us? With me? ” Asmo’s breaths came quicker, desperate to say all the wrong things. He took his hand away from Simeon’s, the warmth he felt dissipating far too soon.
Simeon was taken aback. He looked to the side, his hand tensing. “You know I can’t do that.”
Asmo’s heart tightened. All those nights they’ve spent within the shadows of night, blanketed from Heaven’s light, was it truly all for naught?
He knows it isn’t. They both do. That they weren’t meant for this and that Asmo never should’ve taken an interest in human indulgences. Yet they still chose to do it anyway.
“You seem to yearn to be loved.”
“Perhaps you got it mixed up a little, Simeon.. Everyone simply adores me! Who am I to not acknowledge the way I’m praised? ♡ ”
“Hm.. That’s not quite exactly what I meant. Something more akin to the stories of how humanity chooses to love. The ones you’ve recounted to me in, let’s say, great detail.”
“You!- Come on! Maybe you’re just jealous of all the attention I get!”
“Haha. Perhaps I am? Who knows, maybe I simply want to be held in higher regard than the others?”
“Oh? Do give me a subtle reminder on why you deserve special treatment from the dazzling Asmodeus himself, Angel.”
“Let’s see..”
Asmodeus pulls away from Simeon entirely, scrambling to get up. He takes in breaths that seem to burn his lungs with every inhale. The air felt like it got colder and colder, unforgiving in the way the moonlight has shed light on their misfortunes. Even in the frigid atmosphere, Simeon still looks as breathtaking as he did as when Asmo first laid eyes on him.
He could only hope Simeon saw him the same.
“What if this really is the last time we ever see eachother again..?” Asmo asked, shakily.
“Couldn’t we atleast spend it together for longer?” Simeon tried to persuade him as he turned his head back at him, just in time to see the way the light made his eyes glassy. The way he clutched onto himself with unsteady hands.
“I’ve… I’ve stayed here for far too long already.” They both doubt that it was in regards to this night’s tryst. “I- I still..” He’s run out of things to say, there were far too many things to say, yet he couldn’t reach for any of the words in time before he turned his back at Simeon.
“..Goodnight, Simeon.”
He couldn’t reach out to stop him. He could only watch as Asmodeus disappeared into the shadows of the night. He could only ruminate on countless other nights they’ve bid their farewells. Where one of them would ask to stay for longer. But they couldn’t.
This was yet another one of those nights, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe when they meet again, they can laugh at the absurdity of it all. Say all the words left unspoken, all the foreign concepts they never got to explore.
“Goodnight, Asmodeus.”