Work Text:
I was not special.
Ever since I saw the world around me, ever since I was better people. A haunting fear of ordinary settled deep inside me and that I might get behind in this track of life. I look around myself, I see people with great ambition and great dreams and great talent but when I look in the reflection in the window beside all I could see was a ordinary person with dreams that were way out of reach.
I walk past the mirror.
I walk past the mirror not daring to look into the eyes of a face I was not prepared to see. I endure it, I tell myself the same lie on and on again until my mind believes me but my heart is cruel. I tell to the reflection in the reflection of my glasses that it’s fine; I am enough but my heart burns with envy. It envy’s the better people around me. It envy’s the carefree around me with their passionate smiles. It envy’s the people who don’t have to hide their heart desires.
I wish I could say , blurt it all out about how I wish to understood , to be seen as I person with real dreams and not childish imagination which will die as soon as I see the world with its cadaver like head. But I still hope that maybe not today, that maybe not by the people around me, I would be understood. I would be understood by a person miles away, I would be understood by children with gleams of hope in their eyes. And at last I would be understood by the world of my own people.