Chapter Text
“I’m sorry… that I couldn’t give you a strong healthy body…”
Those were the last words she spoke to him. She used her final breath to apologize to her killer. To her child… To him.
Why? Why had he killed her? Why had he killed his parents?
He remembered everything now. The gentle blue eyes he inherited from his mother, her care for him, always nursing her sickly son, spending restless nights by his side whenever his health would falter. His father’s dark hair, so similar to his own, and his calm demeanor, comforting his son whenever he would dwell on his frail body.
Every day, they would give up everything to help him, never once complaining, never once blaming him for wasting their time with his weakness. He would be too frail to walk outside for long periods of time, always prone to catch diseases over the slightest reasons, he even had difficulty breathing, yet his parents never faltered, they never lashed out at him, never saw him for the liability he truly was.
All he wanted was to free them from the burden he was, that he had always been since the day of his birth, to erase the mistake that was his ill existence.
So, when that man appeared and offered him a way to alleviate their suffering, to cure him, Rui accepted his offer.
“You poor thing. I’ll save you from this harsh life.”
He had experienced many doctors and medical practitioners who tried to treat him, but at best all they could provide was momentary remedies. But that man felt different from anyone else Rui had ever met. His aura was supernatural, his deep voice was firm and absolute, and his red eyes pierced through his very being.
With the way he had seemed to have just materialize from the night, as the moon illuminated his rich western suit, with a white cape draping over like wings covering his arms, all the young boy could rationalize was that the man before him was an ethereal being manifested to answer his prayers.
Only now did Rui realize that the devil could mask as an angel in order to corrupt the world.
Why had he not realized it was too good to be true? Was he really that foolish? That naïve? That desperate to erase his weakness?
The miracle the man performed on him was nothing but a curse. He was relieved from his pains, not only being able to stand, walk and run like any other child he had watched from afar, but he felt faster, stronger and more powerful than anyone else too. All of it granted at the horrible price of needing to consume flesh. Human flesh.
Rui was now a demon. A man-eating beast which hid from the sun and prayed on others.
After his transformation, Rui killed a man -whoever it was he could not fully recall- in his house without a hint of remorse. Of course, his parents were appalled by him, terrified by his new nature. He could now remember the panicked yells of his father as his mother broke down into tears.
“What have you done!?” He shouted with pure dread. “What on earth have you done, Rui! ANSWER ME!”
All his life, Rui could not recall a time his father had raised his voice at him. At the time he could not understand what had he done wrong. Could they not see he was cured? He could be a normal boy now and they could finally lessen the burden he had been.
Now all he could do was gag at the memory of his inhumane thoughts. He was so terribly weak he had fallen for temptation the moment it was offered to him. He truly was undeserving of his worthless life.
After that event, all Rui could remember now was when his father attempted to kill him with a knife while he slept.
At the time he felt betrayed. After all the time they had cared for him, tolerating all of his flaws and ailments, he had believed that they loved him. Yet when he tried to repay them by freeing all of them, instead of loving him unconditionally, they would finally discard him (like how he knew they should have done it long before). So, in his anger, he fought back and killed his parents.
Clearly, he had thought, they must not have really loved him. They repaid his own love by trying to murder him. Could they not see he had become this for them? All he wanted was to help them. To reciprocate the labor, effort and time they had spent with their failure of a son. Could they not see he was cured? They were all free!
So, when his mother’s last words were spent apologizing for failing him, Rui could not understand.
Just as he was questioning what had she meant, that man had manifested again, like a guardian spirit of the night, and “encouraged” him.
“It was their fault for not accepting who you are.” He whispered with a honey-coated voice . “Take pride in your own power.”
He now saw those words for what they truly were: Venomous lies spewed by a forked tongue. Yet his past self could not accept the alternative, could not wrestle with the sins he had committed, so he chose to believe the shadows instead of facing the blinding light.
But now the truth pierced him like the rays of sunlight that would burn his unnatural demonic body. The final words of his father he had suppressed for decades resurfaced like the morning sun, impossible to ignore now that the shadows no longer surrounded him.
“Rui, listen...” His father whimpered through choked sobs. “We are going to die with you.”
Even after he faltered, after he tainted his soul by committing one of the gravest of sins, his parents chose to carry his mistakes with them. Despite losing his humanity, they still would treat him like their son and would sacrifice all they had for him. They loved him so much they could not bear to let their son continue to sin, yet they could not live without him, so they would go to hell as a family.
All his life, he knew deep in his heart that was the truth. Every single day he would feel something missing, he'd sought to fill the void by becoming stronger, by creating fake bonds, by seeking the approval of that man instead. Yet all along all he wanted was to have his parents back, even if just for one fleeting moment, just so he could apologize.
‘ I’m sorry .’ He wanted to say. ‘ It’s my fault, I’m to blame for everything. I’m sorry you sacrificed everything for me yet I still failed again and again. ’
He was a mistake, his body was frail and pathetic, his resolve was weak and he committed countless evils. He should have never been born at all. Had his parents never had him, had they had a better child, they would be alive, the lives he took would have not been lost. He was better off dead.
That was where Rui, the spider demon, Lower Rank 5 of the Twelve Kizuki, the Demon Moons of the Demon Progenitor, found himself. Crying, as he contemplated his long forgotten human memories, after nearly losing his life at the hands of a distinctive demon slayer accompanied by their demon sister.
•●•
How had it happened? Why had the corrupted darkness that hid his past been cleared? The will of that twisted abhorrent tyrant should have been absolute, his overwhelming power should have blinded Rui to compliance until his end. Yet, when he had witnessed the bright beams that exude from that slayer during their battle, he felt it cut through the shadows like a shining light in the darkest of nights.
It was so vivid, the swing of their sword, the embers that engulfed their blade, was like the sunrays piercing the skies after a thunderous storm.
His burgundy hair was alarmingly familiar, as was the obsidian black blade, which, despite being broken in half by Rui’s treads, almost seemed to turn red with determined fire, until actual flames combusted from the webs the spider demon had weaved. All of which, combined with his uncannily familiar earrings, harkened back to memories not of his own, shaking Rui to his core.
Had it not been for Rui flinging his own head off with his treads, an action born out of sheer fearful desperation, he was certain he would have died.
It had all been so overwhelming.
The night had started with demon slayers invading his mountain home, Mt. Natagumo, where he and his fake family resided. It should have been easy, his family should have slaughtered all the foolish swordsmen which dared oppose them, yet that boy, the demon slayer with the hafuna earrings, proved again and again to be different, to be stronger, more capable, more determined, and more special than the rest.
Rui himself decided that he would personally deal with the peculiar swordsman, especially after he dared criticize how he treated his poor excuse for a family. What an arrogant idiot had he been. Not only did the boy continue to show his unwavering bravery, but he once more proved his undoubtful superiority by demonstrating a true familial bond.
The odd wooden box the young slayer carried contained none other than his own sister, a demon, which had leapt out and protected him when Rui began his assault.
Needless to say, Rui was beyond shaken. In pure envious insolence, he attempted to steal the girl for himself, which only awoke the true fraternal strength of his opponent. Even when he was certain he had the slayer cornered, the boy would break through and humble him once and for all, as even his sister, a demon like Rui himself, went against her nature and used her Blood Demon Art to support her sibling.
It was at that very moment, as the boy's broken blade began cutting his neck, with a power he could only equate to the sun itself, that Rui felt all the darkness biding his every cell fleeing him like squirming cockroaches afraid of exposed light. In pure unparalleled panic, he resorted to decapitating himself like a coward to avoid his imminent demise.
While his body fell and his head flew away, the shadows that shrouded his mind were cleared by the sunlight of the slayer's blade. It all came rushing at him like water breaking out of a dam, flooding his mind and quickly drowning him. His old life, his parents, their death, it all flashed in his mind. It was too much.
Completely overwhelmed, he remained motionless, allowing for both him and the sun blessed slayer to rest and regain their composure.
Still, from the corner of his eye, the fallen demon watched as the boy clutched his sister tightly and breathed deeply for a couple of minutes. Oh, how Rui longed for the same, to be embraced after such turmoil, but as the visions of his actions flashed on his mind, as he was reminded of his crimes, of his failures, he now knew he was not deserving of any love. He was a monster who killed the only people who had ever accepted him for his failures. He was pathetic.
For what had to be minutes, he replayed all of his life in his mind.
Despite being a demonic beast, one which murdered humans and demons alike mercilessly, he broke down into tears. The Lower Moon cried like what he had been before, a helpless little boy who desperately needed his parents to come and comfort him.
But he knew he would not have his mother come to caress his hair and soothe him, or his father to hug him and whisper ‘it will be okay’ in his ear. He murdered them in cold blood. Not even in the afterlife would he get to meet them again. He’d be going to hell alone and there was no way they would forgive him.
But what he experienced next was what truly broke him. As he slowly grew accustomed to the tears flowing from his eyes, he saw the slayer glancing at him. But whereas Rui expected disdain, hatred or disgust from the boy, all he witnessed was… Sorrow.
The boy gave him a somber look, one of pity, grief and angst. An expression one would see a brother giving to a crying sibling who was lost in the dark. It was like someone comforting a victim, rather than glaring at an abuser.
Suddenly, the echoes of his mother's last words chimed on his mind…
“I’m sorry…”
Her last words were an apology for something that was never her fault. Even as he killed her, she continued to love him.
And now, the slayer, who had witnessed Rui mistreat his family, kill his peers, kidnapped his sister and attempted to end his life, looked at him with mercy.
He felt something snap within him. It was as if a web he had been entrapped in for decades, constructed by a predatory manipulator, had suddenly broken away with the flap of a butterfly’s wings.
It was too much.
So, like a frightened child, his body scrambled and ran away, picking up his fallen head and attaching it to his neck. He fled as fast as his inhumane physiology allowed him too, be it sprinting through the forest floor or balancing from the various webs set up on the canopies.
He wanted -he needed- time to understand everything: His memories, his emotions, his past and his future. Now that he no longer felt limited by the dark shackles on his mind, he wanted to explore his newly found freedom, one granted by the light.
If he continued here, he knew he would undoubtedly be executed before he could come to terms with these swirling emotions within. Perhaps a monster like him should be put to death as soon as possible, but a selfish part of him wanted to live just a bit more to experience these new revelations. So, he decided to falter one more time and cowardly hide away until he felt ready to pay for his sins.
Yet, inexplicably, he felt a whisper telling him that it was going to be alright, as a ghost feeling of hand patting his hair attempted to soothe him, encouraging him to live and change the fate of his life.