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It's been one of the best nights of Buck's life. Of course, that means it all has to go to shit afterwards.
Buck wakes up with the sun on his face, and a slight ache in his backside that has him smiling as he remembers the previous night. Tommy’s arm lies loosely around his waist, his face pressed into Buck’s curls. Buck smiles to himself. He’s in bed with his boyfriend (boyfriend!), who he just had sex with for the first time. He feels great.
Or he did until he goes to stretch, turning around to face Tommy. He instantly regrets his actions when a jolt of pain shoots down Buck’s leg, and he has to bite his tongue to suppress the whimper that wants to escape. He attempts to shift back into his previous position, but the pain only intensifies, sending waves of agony through his body. He stills, half turned towards his boyfriend, begging his leg to behave.
His leg hadn't bothered him in a month. And it had to choose now to flare up again? Just him and his ineffable bad luck.
Sensing his displeasure, Tommy shifts beside him, mumbling incoherently and pulling him tighter to his chest. Buck exhales sharply as his leg is jostled again, sliding against the mattress, feeling like a thousand hot, searing needles are being stabbed into his muscle. Tommy opens his eyes quickly, frowning at him.
“Evan?” Tommy asks, his voice deep and gravelly. If it were any other day, Buck would find that incredibly attractive. Unfortunately, he isn’t able to enjoy it. Now that he’s aware of the pain in his leg, it only seems to get worse. His leg throbs; it feels like his bones are trying to bully their way out of his flesh. He clenches his eyes shut as he wills the wildfire that burns through his limb to calm down.
“‘M fine,” he gets out through a clenched jaw.
Tommy squints at him, tilting his head to the side. “Evan,” he repeats in a way that Buck knows means he doesn’t believe him for a second.
“Just sore,” Buck says, breathing deeply as he tries to stop himself from breaking into tears in front of his boyfriend.
“Your leg?” Tommy asks, and Buck simply nods, a lone tear escaping from his eyes. Tommy raises his hand to his face, gently wiping away the tear drop with his thumb. The action in itself is so sweet and tender but Buck is in too much pain to appreciate it.
Buck presses his face into Tommy’s hand, desperately craving the comforting affection. “How’d you know?” Buck mumbles; he doesn’t think he’d mentioned his pain to Tommy before.
“Ah, Eddie may have mentioned it one time,” Tommy replies, ducking down to place a kiss to his birthmark.
Buck frowns, eyebrows scrunching. “You two talk about me?” He asks, a wave of insecurity running through him.
To that, Tommy smiles, his thumb caressing Buck’s brows until they relax. “‘Course. Had to find out information about the cute firefighter somehow.”
Buck tries to smile back, but it comes out more as a grimace as a particularly painful throb ricochets through his leg. “Sorry,” he starts, “I know this wasn’t what you were expecting to wake up to.”
Tommy furrows his brows at him, and Buck wonders if he’s fucked up again. “Evan, are you— are you apologising for being in pain?” He asks, almost incredulously.
Buck ducks his head, feeling self-conscious. “I—I just— I’m sorry in advance for not being much fun right now.”
Tommy places his fingers under Buck’s chin, tilting his head up so that he’s looking into his soft blue eyes. “Hey, you’re in pain, and I’m your boyfriend. That means it’s my job to take care of you now. If you’ll let me?” He says softly.
“You—you want to take care of me?” Buck says, eyes widening at Tommy in disbelief.
Tommy frowns again. “Of course I do,” he says, placing another gentle kiss to Buck’s forehead.
Buck struggles to comprehend the idea that Tommy wants to be around him even when he has little to offer. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve someone so kind and caring but he’s slowly learning to let himself have it anyway.
“Can you, um, get my pain meds from the bathroom? If it’s not too much trouble?” Buck asks softly, ducking his head again. He doesn’t want to ask for too much. They’ve been together for a month now and Buck doesn’t want to scare Tommy off like he seems to do in every other relationship he’s had.
“Of course, I can,” Tommy says, like the thought of saying no didn’t even cross his mind. “I’ll be right back,” he says, pressing another kiss into Buck’s curls before sliding out of the bed and heading for the bathroom. Buck instinctively moves to follow him as he leaves before wincing as his sensitive leg brushes against his duvet causing his nerve endings to scream in protest; the usually soft duvet feeling like sandpaper against his sensitive skin. He lifts the duvet off his leg as carefully as he can, sighing as the limb becomes exposed to the cool air. He hates when his leg becomes so sensitive like this; like someone is pulling on all his leg hairs at once, his skin becoming raw and hypersensitive — he expects to see his leg bright red and inflamed but it’s completely visually unharmed aside from the faint scars that are littered along the skin. He reflexively brings his hands down to cradle his legs, but when his fingers brush against the scars, he has to once again bite his tongue as shockwaves of pain ripple down his limb.
Buck slumps back on the mattress as he catches his breath, a few more tears escaping down his cheek. He wills his body to relax, sniffling as he wipes at his face. His first morning after having sex with his boyfriend and he’s in so much pain he can barely think straight. Not that he’d be thinking straight anyway, but... Certainly not the way he saw this day going. He wanted to wake up to morning kisses and show off his breakfast-making skills to Tommy. He wanted light teasing and morning cuddles that left that warm feeling simmering in his chest. Instead he’s about to give Tommy a crash course in why everyone leaves him: make him see how he’s always too much. Tommy’s already been so gentle with him, letting him take this relationship as slow as Buck needed. Buck wanted to treat him with breakfast for once! And now Tommy has to help him again.
Buck wants to curse whatever god exists. The universe clearly doesn’t like him having too much of a good thing.
Tommy returns before Buck has time to spiral any further. He places a glass of water on the bedside table before handing over a container of pills and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Do you have a wheat bag or anything I can heat up for you?” Tommy says, running his fingers through Buck’s hair so softly Buck thinks he could melt.
“Oh, um, yeah, it’s in the bottom drawer,” Buck says, pointing vaguely to the nightstand. “Thank—thank you.”
Tommy withdraws his hand from his head to move towards the drawers. Buck instantly misses the touch, seeking the soft affection to soothe him.
“Ah hah!” Tommy says, pulling the heat bag out of the drawer. “Let me heat this up for you, sweetheart, and then I’ll get started on breakfast, okay?”
Buck's brain struggles to comprehend what Tommy’s saying. There’s no way he wants to stay even when Buck isn’t going to be fun to be around. “I—I— you want to make me breakfast?” You want to stay? He means.
“Of course,” Tommy says. “I told you, I want to take care of you.”
“You—you do?” Buck can feel his eyes water again, this time it’s not the pain that’s causing it.
Tommy smiles softly at him. He reaches out and grasps one of Buck’s hands between his own, squeezing gently before bringing their joined hands up to his face and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Yeah, Evan. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
Tommy makes his way down the stairs, leaving Buck lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Buck doesn’t understand how he got so lucky to land someone as soft and caring as Tommy. Someone who wants to look after him. Part of him feels bad that he can’t give anything more to Tommy right now in thanks, but another part of him is just so completely grateful. He hates pain days, as he’s come to call them, but knowing Tommy’s here is already helping him more than he has the words to express.
After a moment longer of thinking about how lucky he is, Buck slowly pushes himself into a seated position, reaching over to grab the pills that Tommy left on the bedside table. His leg doesn’t appreciate the movement, but he bears through the pain, grabbing three pills and swallowing them down all at once before downing the glass of water too.
He knows he has to get up. Now that he has had a chance to gain his bearings, he realises how desperately he needs to pee. He takes a deep breath, psyching himself up to make his way to the bathroom. As gently as he can, he uses his hands to lift his leg at the thigh, twisting his body around before slowly bending his knee over the edge of the bed. Another sharp pulse of pain travels through his joint as he moves, the intense gnawing sensation causing a wave of nausea to pass through his gut. He swallows a few times, forcing himself to take a few breaths before trying again, moving until his feet touch the ground.
Exhaling again, Buck closes his eyes for a moment before pushing through and attempting to stand. His leg instantly buckles under his weight and he falls back down onto the bed. A whimper escapes from his lips before he has a chance to suppress it. Buck brings his hands to his head, pulling on the strands of his hair in an attempt to have something else to focus on, choking out another sob.
Buck tries again, wiping at his eyes before lifting himself to stand up on his good leg. He wobbles briefly, unable to keep his balance he braces himself to fall but large hands reach out and catch him before he can.
“Hey, hey, Evan, what are you doing?” Tommy says almost frantically, lowering Buck back down onto the bed and cradling his face in his hands. Buck slumps into his touch, humming softly.
“Need ‘o get up,” he practically whimpers, his voice breaking as he tries to speak.
“Evan, baby, I can help you. You don’t need to try to do this on your own, okay?” Tommy says calmly.
Buck nods at him, his eyes firmly locked on the ground. “I—I need to pee,” he says.
“Okay, okay,” Tommy says, assessing Buck in an attempt to figure out how they were going to do this. “Do you want me to carry you?”
Buck huffs. “You can’t carry me.”
Tommy simply tilts his head, and unsaid Evan, being communicated. Okay, Tommy certainly had no issue throwing Buck around last night. Buck blushes at the memory, red blooming across his cheeks.
“Mm,” he grumbles out.
“What was that?” Tommy asks.
“I— you can carry me if you want,” Buck mutters.
“If I want?” Tommy teases gently.
“Can you— can you help me please?” Buck asks, finally looking up at Tommy, who smiles at him.
“Of course,” he replies sincerely. “Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom.”
“How should we…” Buck trails off as Tommy steps closer to him, placing one hand on his back and the other under the thigh of his good leg before scooping him up slowly and carrying him bridal-style towards the bathroom. Buck lets out a surprised little yelp at the sudden movement, but he quickly melts into Tommy’s hold. He wraps his arms around Tommy’s neck and burrows his face into his boyfriend’s broad chest, soaking up his heat.
Tommy carefully deposits Buck on the toilet seat, chuckling slightly as Buck tries to cling onto him as he moves away. “Think you can manage the next part on your own?” Tommy asks.
Buck nods. “Yeah—yeah, I can.”
Tommy gives Buck another once over. When he’s satisfied with what he sees, he nods before placing a sweet kiss to Buck’s birthmark. “Okay, I’ll leave the door open. If you need anything, just yell, okay?”
Buck nods again. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Tommy repeats again. He says it like he doesn’t even need to think about it. Like, of course, he would help; there’s simply no other option. It leaves Buck feeling warm and loved in a way he doesn’t think he’s ever felt before.
Buck manages to relieve himself without too much difficulty, even managing to hold himself up at the sink to wash his hands. The pain has been slowly softening to the point where Buck doesn’t have to clench his fists tight every time his leg moves at all. It’s a start.
He sits himself back onto the toilet seat, aware that there was no way he could walk himself out of the bathroom quite yet. He wants to call for Tommy to come back, but he is worried that it would be asking for too much. After taking a few more deep breaths, he works himself up into yelling out Tommy’s name. Tommy is there in an instant as though he’d been waiting right outside the door in preparation.
“Ready to get out of here, kid?” Tommy says, moving once again to carry Buck.
“Yes, please,” Buck responds, and that’s all Tommy needs to hear before he scoops Buck back into his arms.
“Where to?” Tommy asks. “Do you want to go back to bed? Or do you wanna come downstairs and sit on the couch? I’ve whipped up some pancake mix if you’re feeling hungry.”
Buck lets out a small whimper at that which has Tommy freezing. “Are you okay? What happened?” Tommy says.
Buck shakes his head quickly. “No-no, it’s not— you’re just being so sweet to me, and I—I really appreciate you,” he says, his eyes glossy as he looks up at his boyfriend.
Tommy leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Buck’s lips. “I told you, I want to look after you.”
Buck tilts his head up and pouts his lips in a silent plea for more kisses which Tommy easily understands, kissing him a few more times. “No one has ever wanted to look after me before. Except my sister, but—but not like this,” Buck admits quietly.
“Well, I’m here now,” Tommy breathes, helpless to do anything but kiss Buck again. “But,” he starts, “as much as I love having you in my arms, you are getting pretty heavy, so where are we headed?”
“If—if it’s not too hard— could we go to the couch? So I can see you cooking?” Buck queries, looking up at Tommy with the softest expression drawn on his face.
“Can’t say no to that cute face,” Tommy says, scrunching his nose as he smiles in the way that has Buck’s heart leaping out of his chest. He buries himself further into Tommy’s arms as a dusting of red paints his cheeks at the compliment.
They make their way down the stairs of the loft, Tommy only stopping once to rearrange Buck in his arms. When they reach the bottom, Tommy slowly places Buck onto the couch, picking up the heated wheat bag he’d left and gently laying it over Buck’s leg. Buck sighs in relief, closing his eyes as the heat spreads through his muscle, soothing the pain slightly. He still feels like his leg has run a marathon in his sleep but the heat helps to soften the feeling.
“Thank you,” Buck breathes out, opening his eyes and looking up at Tomm, who’s still standing over him, looking at him fondly.
“Hey, I told you I want to help, Evan.”
“I—I know but… thank you anyway.”
“You’re very welcome.” Tommy nods, patting Buck’s good leg before strolling over to the kitchen. Buck closes his eyes and listens to Tommy tinkering away in the kitchen, humming some tune that Buck’s unfamiliar with.
He must doze off briefly because he wakes to a gentle hand stroking through his curls. He blinks up slowly, humming softly as the hands continue to caress his hair.
“Breakfast is ready,” Tommy whispers, and Buck’s stomach chooses that moment to make itself known, grumbling in response. Tommy laughs, reaching over to the coffee table and bringing the plate of hot pancakes to his lap.
“Mm, smells good,” Buck says groggily. It really does; the smell of vanilla and maple syrup floods Buck’s nostrils, making his mouth water.
“Let’s hope it tastes good, too,” Tommy jokes. “Let me feed you?” He adds.
“Hmm?” Buck questions. He struggles to process what his boyfriend is asking him, his head still not feeling clear. “Sorry, the pills make me feel funny.” It almost sounded like Tommy wanted to—
“Nothing to apologise for,” Tommy reiterates. “I just— can I feed you?” Tommy says as he starts cutting up the pancakes on his plate, raising the fork to Buck’s mouth. Buck responds by opening his mouth and letting Tommy feed him. He moans as takes a bite.
“Good?”
Buck groans. “So good, what did you put in these? Crack?”
Tommy laughs and rolls his eyes. “Can’t give away my secrets.”
Buck pouts at him. “You gotta tell me, Christopher would love these.”
“I’ll show you how to make them sometime when you’re feeling better then,” Tommy says, bringing some more of the pancake to Buck’s lips.
“Yeah?” Buck says after he’s finished chewing.
“Yeah,” Tommy agrees. “This is the one thing I’m good at making, and that’s only because my niece can’t get enough of them.”
“You have a niece?” Buck asks curiously.
Tommy simply hums in affirmation.
“I—I love kids!” Buck grins.
Tommy chuckles and shakes his head fondly. “I know you do, Evan.”
“How old is she?”
“Four, you wanna see a photo?” Tommy says, taking his phone out of his pocket.
Nodding, Buck takes the phone from his hand, grinning at the little girl in a bright purple tutu smiling at him from the phone screen. “That’s around Jee’s age. We should check with Maddie, they could have a playdate,” Buck says.
“That sounds like a great idea.” Tommy leans in and kisses Buck softly. “How are you feeling now?”
The ache is still present in his leg, but it’s softer and more mild now. He’s not about to go on a hike any time soon, but it’s much more manageable. “Mm, better,” he replies. He doesn’t want to tempt fate by stretching again, so instead, he slumps further into the couch. “Be even better with some more pancakes, though,” he adds cheekily.
“Yessir,” Tommy jokes, giving a mock salute to Buck before walking back over to the kitchen. “Coming right up.”
Buck thinks he’s falling in love with his boyfriend. His boyfriend who is so ridiculously handsome and loving. Who wants to take care of him but still treats him like he’s capable. Who jokes with him and makes him laugh. Who can carry him around with ease (that is a bonus in more ways than one).
Buck’s always been the one in a relationship who takes care of everyone else. Who takes girls on dates, buys them flowers, and tries to treat them right. But for the first time ever, he has found someone who cherishes him in a way that makes him feel so unbelievably loved. Makes him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Someone who makes him pancakes in the morning when he can’t. Someone who can carry him down a flight of stairs when his leg won’t work. Someone who gives him sweet kisses all over his face that has him melting into a puddle, desperate for more.
So yeah, he thinks he might be falling in love.
“Tommy,” Buck says when he returns, carrying another plate of fresh pancakes and maple syrup over to the couch.
“Mm?” Tommy says, settling down beside Buck.
“I just— I really appreciate you looking after me. It just— it means a lot to me.”
Tommy smiles, crow’s feet scrunching at the corners of his eyes. “Well, that’s good,” he says, “because you mean a lot to me.”
Buck blushes and ducks his head, hip lips quirking up into a soft smile.
“You’re adorable, Evan,” Tommy says. That only causes Buck to blush harder, a deep red, almost the colour of his birthmark, growing on his cheeks. He doesn’t think he can ever get over how easily affectionate Tommy is and how soft and gooey that makes him feel. Before their relationship, Buck had never had someone call him adorable, or cute, or one of the other adjectives Tommy will throw in.
Tommy slides closer to Buck’s side, pressing their thighs together and wrapping an arm around Buck’s back so that Buck can tuck into him. That’s another thing that Buck can’t get over; the way that Tommy is bigger than him. It makes him feel small in the most delicious way, something he definitely discovered last night.
Clearly reading his thoughts, Tommy says, “Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown you around so much yesterday, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He says the words so softly, so apologetic and kind.
“No!” Buck says, probably too fast. “It’s not you. It just happens sometimes. I–I swear — please don’t — I really enjoyed last night.”
“Yeah?”
Buck nods, “Yeah. Definitely need more of that, thank you.”
“Well, if you insist .” Tommy grins at him, squeezing him closer so that they’re cuddled up together. Buck leans his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, careful not to jostle his leg as he twists himself in Tommy’s arms.
“As soon as my leg is better we are having a repeat of last night, okay?”
“As you wish.” Tommy beams at him. “It’s certainly not a hardship for me. Though… it is hard in other ways,” Tommy says, raising his eyebrows suggestively, causing Buck to laugh.
“Hey! You can’t say things like that now. Not when I can’t do anything about it,” Buck grumbles.
Tommy raises his hands in apology. “Sorry, sorry, eat your pancakes.”
“Yes, sir, ” Buck says, rolling his eyes. Tommy just glares at him.
Buck eats his pancakes.
“Seriously, how are these so good?” Buck asks.
“Mm, the secret ingredient is a dash of love,” Tommy says, bringing a finger to wipe a drop of maple syrup at the edge of Buck’s mouth. Buck’s heart skips a beat, and he smiles. “Fine, the secret ingredient is banana,” Tommy caves.
Buck frowns. “B-banana? I’m allergic.”
Tommy pales, “What? Then why do you have some in the—” Tommy glares at Buck, who just bursts out laughing at him. “You’re a little brat, aren’t you, Evan.”
Buck continues to laugh. “Shoulda seen your face,” he chuckles. “Seriously, though, these are delicious.” To drive home his point, he stabs a large section of pancake with his fork and practically inhales it. Tommy just looks at him fondly, shaking his head.
“Guess I’ll have to make them for you every morning.”
“Guess so,” Buck agrees. The thought of waking up with Tommy next to him every day has his heart stuttering. He thinks he could get used to that. “Did you know that people who are allergic to bananas are also more likely to be allergic to latex?” Buck says.
Tommy quirks an eyebrow at him. “I did not. Why do you know that?”
Buck shrugs. “Also, bananas are actually berries. But strawberries aren’t,” he adds.
“Do you go googling banana facts in your free time?” Tommy teases, but he’s looking at Buck so fondly, the way he always looks when he’s intently listening to his random facts.
“Something like that.” Buck nods.
“You really are something special, aren’t you?” Tommy says, eyes tracking over Buck’s face, as though cataloguing the features. Buck always feels so cherished under his gaze.
Buck continues eating his pancakes, letting out little moans after every few bites which has Tommy rolling his eyes at him, a faint blush appearing on his face regardless.
“So, Love Actually, or Princess Bride ?” Tommy says after they’ve both finished eating, their plates licked clean (Buck actually licked his plate clean, causing Tommy to laugh and tell him he can always make more).
“Hmm?” Buck says against Tommy’s chest.
“Which movie should we watch?” Tommy repeats, fingers gently scratching at the hair of Buck’s neck.
Buck frowns, pushing himself up and looking at Tommy. He winces slightly as his leg twists, but the pain subsides relatively quickly. “You— you wanna watch a movie with me?”
Tommy tilts his head. “Well, yeah, figured, since you’re not up for going anywhere, we could just spend the day on the couch and watch a movie. Is that okay?”
Buck wants to cry. In fact, he does. A few droplets of tears escape through his lashes, running down his cheeks. He hates how easily emotional he gets on days like these. But Tommy doesn’t make him feel bad about it.
Tommy wipes the tears from his eyes. Searching his face for signs of discomfort. “Hey, hey, what’s going on? Do you need more pills?”
Buck shakes his head, tilting his head and kissing Tommy’s cheek. “No, you’re just perfect.”
It’s Tommy’s turn to blush this time. A rosy pink tint spreads across his face. He takes Buck’s face in his hands and kisses him deeply, smiling when he pulls back. He gives in to the temptation to give a few more chaste kisses to Buck’s lips before asking, “So, what do you wanna watch?”
“Hmm,” Buck thinks for a moment, “you choose.”
“Well… my favourite movie is Love Actually.”
“Knew you were a secret softy,” Buck teases.
“Nothin’ soft about me last night.”
“Tommyyy!” Buck whines.
Tommy chuckles. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, untangling himself from Buck and standing up. Buck makes a noise in protest which only has Tommy chuckling more. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just going to put our dishes away and reheat your hot bag.”
“You’re the best,” Buck says, making grabby hands at Tommy until he leans down and gives him another kiss.
“Be right back.” Buck watches Tommy walk away, a feeling of immense joy radiating in his chest. He woke up thinking today would be an awful day, but Tommy has made it so much better. He’s so lucky. There’s a subtle ache that still lingers in his leg, but the pills have helped, and the heat soothed it significantly.
The pair spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch, watching Love Actually, Tommy pointing out his favourite bits every 5 minutes, which has Buck smiling and him so fondly. Buck drifts off half way through the film, with gentle hands playing with his hair, a hot bag resting on his leg, face tucking into his boyfriend's chest.
It may not have been where Buck saw his day going, but it was still perfect.