Chapter Text
William Shakespeare was new to time travel, especially that was which in a alien's UFO. There he had been, writing his next big hit play that a bunch of kids in couple 100 years would probably need to analyse, when these aliens just came and picked him up.
"Unhand me, thy ignorant fools!" they ignored him, beside him in the other cage was this rather large, hairy beast.
"How ya going mate? Me names sassy, sassy the sasquatch"
"My word! What are the foul creature?" he demanded, staring confused as the beast spoke.
"Whatyetalkinabeet?" mumbled sassy, rolling between his fingers what seemed to be paper, foul smelling paper.
"Aww mate, ya want some? I swear it's light...hehheheh heh hehe" The beast giggled.
Shakespeare was not well versed in this...this paper. "What is this creation?"
"A dooby"
“I would much rather, a delectable foul drink of sorts.”
“A goon bag?”
“A what bag?”
“Here I’ll give ya one, and I’ll even hang it on the clothesline forrya.”
“I am quite thy unbreathable.”
“Mate ya talkin gibbys bruh”
“?????????????????????”
“Here ya go mate, a hung goon bag, have at it and ill smoke ma dooby.”
William was shocked at the brashness of this beast, but somehow found him quite likeable whilst they remained locked up. Drinking this strange liquid from a silver bag...SILVER BAG GOD HE COULD MAKE A FORTUNE FROM It.
"Say you beast, Sassy, I raise a toast to the for this silver for once I return to my era I must sell it for many a coin" William praised him. Sassy stared back empty, his little beady eyes staring into his soul, "whatyetalkinabeet? That bag was worth like fiddy bucks"
Fiddy bucks? That sounds plentiful, as he turned to question this monster he found he was gone, rather communing and smoking his strange object with the green Aliens aboard.
"Woahhh how the fuck did you get out"
"Nah mate just give me back my weed, that's so not cool"
"Get the fuck out, stop, don't touch that!"
Sassy picks up around looking object, a new technology not from Williams time, the Aliens warned Sassy not to touch the button, but alas Sassy did not listen.
"Hehh hheehhehe hhee, yo Willzo look at this, hehe hhehehe hee"
And he shot it, causing a huge hole in the ship, "Sassy thy beast, what have ye done, my time does no longer applaud me as now I no longer commune with them"
"You've got a funny voice, reminds me of Clarence, you look like Clarence with that head....hehh hhe" Sassy says whilst he breathes in another breath from his joint.
“I CANNOT RETURN TO THINE HOME.” William was red in the face, which promptly made Sassy burst in laughter.
“Ay mate, when ya auzzie, the world is ya home brather.”
“WHAT WORDS DOETH MEAN WHENTH YOU SPEAKTH THEM?”
“Take a hit of this mate.” Sassy shoved his blunt in William’s mouth, not asking for consent at all. Which would be okay in William’s time, since consent was not invented and women were objectified as housemaids and incubators for sons.
William shoved the blunt and turned around to cough stealthily.
“Ay mate pretty good AY.”
“I jus wanna go home…”
“Yeh bra”