Chapter Text
Maya picked up her speed towards the house as soon as she heard it. Her heart was racing, as she rushed up the steps to the house. Almost in a flat out run as her hand reached for the handle, she hastily turned it, only to find that it was locked. She bumped her forehead against it, as she lost momentum and frantically started looking for her keys, all whilst Liam’s barking cough and his heart-breaking cries continued. “Come on, come on,” she muttered under her breath, her movements frantic, as she finally retrieved them from the bottom of her bag. Just as she did, the door flew open and a flustered babysitter holding a crying, coughing Liam came into view.
“Hi baby boy,” Maya said softly, keeping herself calm so Liam didn’t startle and panic more. Carefully she lifted him over, cradling him in her arms.
“Mama.” Liam whimpered, his voice hoarse.
“I know, bubba, I know,” she cooed, swaying back and forth with him, “it’s okay. You’re okay, you don’t feel good huh?”
Maya looked up at the babysitter, “when did the cough start?”
The babysitter stuttered, running her hands through her hair, clearly flustered, “Uh? I don’t- Carina-”
“It wasn’t like this this morning,” Maya interjected, her worry mounting as she listened to Liam coughing, “otherwise his Mamma wouldn’t have left him.”
“Carina said he had a cough this morning. She texted and asked me if I was still happy to watch him until you came home. But I was just ab-”
“He had a cough, yes, but not croup, for God sake,” Maya said, her voice louder, exasperated, because it was obvious, “he’s got all the tell-tale signs. I mean listen to him cough,” Liam was calming a little and the distinctive seal-bark cough was even more prominent now. “Look, I need to get him to the hospital, the money is in my wallet in my bag. Let yourself out.”
“Okay, I’m sorry Maya, so sorry. Bye Liam,” the babysitter played with his foot for a second, “sorry.”
“Its okay, next time call me.” Maya said, calming a little, she may have overreacted slightly carrying Liam through to his bedroom.
“Hey kid, I got you,” Maya whispered, stroking his fluffy hair, “let’s go and see Mamma and get you some medicine.”
Quickly packing a few extra changes of clothes into Liam's diaper bag and grabbing his stuffy Giraffe from the sofa, Maya carried Liam towards the door, her keys in hand.
“Mamamama,” Liam whimpered.
“I’m here, you’ll be okay, I got you,” Maya said to him with a smile, carrying him out to the car, “we’re just gonna sit in the car and go and see Mamma at work. And get you some medicine, okay bubba? And you’ll feel so much better baby.” Maya said calmly, as she placed him in his car seat. He started to wail again, tiny tears falling down his flushed cheeks. Then the cough intensified. “Oh baby boy, oh my little Liam, it’s okay,” Maya cooed, holding his hand with one hand, rubbing his belly with the other, “it’s okay, good boy, good boy,” Maya soothed, as he began to calm a little, wails turning to whimpers. “I know sweet boy, you feel crappy, huh?” Maya said, putting her forehead on his, “Mamma will make it all better. She always does.” Maya swapped her hand for a little teether on the back or the seat and stroked his cheek. “Let’s go see her.”
Five minutes into the drive, Liam whimpering and coughing every so often, Maya reaching to stroke his head at every stop light, a horrible realisation dawned on her. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she said to herself, Liam giggled and then coughed. He loved swear words which Maya wasn’t prepared to admit to Carina quite how she knew. “Uh,” she drummed her hands on the steering wheel, “hey phone, er, I- oh shit what’s it called,” Liam laughed again, “uhm, oh wait, Siri! Hi Siri?”
“How can I help?”
“Can you call Julie?”
“Calling Julie Garcia social worker.”
“Okay good,” Maya said, reaching her hand back, laying it on Liam’s forehead. She pouted, it felt like his fever was increasing. “Oh baby boy.”
The phone answered, as she pulled off from the stoplight. “Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Maya Bishop, can I speak to Julie Garcia kind of urgently please?”
“Yes, she’s just in a meeting, may I ask the reason?”
“I’m Liam Davison’s Mom, uh, Foster mom, she’s his social worker and he’s got croup, he’s going to need care at hospital, I’m taking him now but I don’t have the medical authorisation letter and I'm not clear on the process honestly.”
“No problem, are you happy to hold?”
“Yeah,” Maya said, relieved as Grey-Sloan Hospital came into view. As soon as the hold music started Maya turned her attention to Liam in the back, “we’re here little Liam, hopefully Mamma is around but I’m gonna take you into the ER and I’ll call Mamma,” Maya said, there would be no point in going all the way up to Carina’s office to come back down to the ER. Liam coughed and started crying in response. “Oh baby boy, you poor thing,” Maya cooed, as she took her phone and climbed out of the car. “Hi bubba,” Maya said, as Liam reached his arms out for her, “I got you,” Maya said, picking him up, rubbing his back as she lifted out the diaper bag and the blanket.
“Hello? Maya?”
Maya scrambled to grab her phone that had been in Liam’s car seat, “Julie? Hi.”
“Liam has croup?” Julie asked, just as Liam gave another loud cough, as if bringing the point home.
“Yeah, so I’m taking him to the ER but I don’t have the medical authorisation letter, once my wife is with him I can go back for it but I just wanted to know what the procedure was.”
“Can you access your emails on your phone?” Julie asked calmly.
“I do, oh, oh god yeah,” Maya said, realisation dawning on her, “you emailed it to us, I’m so sorry for calling.”
“Not at all, it’s stressful when little one gets sick, especially when you’re fostering, if you run into any issues let me know.”
“I will, thanks Julie.”
“Bye Maya, hope the little guy feels better,” Julie said kindly.
“Me too,” Maya sighed, as the phone disconnected. She dialled Carina’s number as she walked quickly towards the entrance. “Come on then bubba, let’s get y- hi babe,” Maya said as the call connected.
“Ciao bambina, how’s Liam?” Carina’s concerned voice came through the phone.
“Come meet me in the ER; it sounds like croup. I’m here with him now.”
“Cazzo, croup, really? But he’s so little.”
“I know, but he’s 8 months, right on the cusp. He’s fine, I think he just needs steriods, can you come meet us? I’m just walking in now.”
“I’ll be two minutes, poor Pulcino.”
“See you soon, babe,” Maya said and pocketed her phone, as she shifted Liam off her shoulder and into the crook of her arm, his tiny body pressed against hers. Maya joined the queue up to reception with him, finding it odd to be the patient. Well, the patient’s mom. “Oh my Liam boy,” Maya said softly, stroking his flushed cheeks, “you’ll be okay.”
“Next!” Maya stepped up to the free clerk. “Oh, Lieutenant Bishop, hi.”
“Hi, Sarah.”
“How can we help you?” Sarah asked warmly.
“Uh, my baby, Liam, I think he has croup. Well I know he does; he’s got that seal-bark cough and he’s really sucking in at his belly sometimes and her has a fever,” Maya explained, looking down at Liam.
“Poor little guy, we’ll get his details and get him checked in, do you want me to page Dr DeLuca?”
“No, she’s on her way d- and here she is,” Maya chuckled as Carina as Carina appeared, slightly out of breath, her bag slung over one shoulder.
“Hi,” she panted, joining them, her eyes immediately on Liam, as Maya offered to let her hold him. Carina just shook her head and simply reached out to stroke his cheek, her touch gentle against his flushed skin. “Ciao pulcino, non ti senti bene?” Liam let out a little cry and then coughed. “Oh, bambino, non ti senti per niente bene, vero? Va tutto bene, ti prenderemo delle medicine,” she cooed then looked up at Maya nodding, “definitely croup.”
[Hi, chicken. you don't feel well? … Oh, bambino, you're not feeling good at all, are you? It's all right. We'll get you some medicine.]
“Yeah.”
“Will he go straight through or sit in here?” Carina inquired, concerned with getting Liam and Maya out of the busy waiting room. Now was about the only time she’d use her ‘I work as a doctor here’ card and get priority.
“With it being croup he can go into the paediatric exam room,” Sarah answered.
“Perfect, Maya, you take him to that, I’ll get him booked in,” Carina said leading them to the end of the desk where there was a staff door to the main department, “you know where it is?”
“I think so.”
“Okay,” Carina buzzed Maya through the door with Liam.
Maya paused, her lip wobbling, as emotions started to flood her. She blinked slowly, swallowing them down and kissed Carina, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“He’s gonna be okay,” Carina reassured, and rubbed Maya’s back a few times, “babies get sick.”
“Okay,” Maya nodded, it was like seeing Carina had just opened up all of the fear and worry she had been keeping at bay. But she couldn’t afford to fall apart right now, she still had Liam. Taking a deep breath, keeping it away for a little longer, she walked down the hall towards a brightly decorated door. “Here we go, Liam baby, Mamma’s gonna make it better. She always makes it better. Always,” Maya said. And that really was the truth, Carina always made things better.
As Maya moved to lay Liam on the examination bed, he let out another screechy cry, followed by a series of harsh coughs. Maya winced and scooped him back up, instinctively deciding to lie down with him on the bed. She curled onto her side and laid Liam next to her, his little hand bunching in her top, as he settled immediately. “That’s it bubba,” Maya whispered, “I got you, bubba, I got you.”
“Hi,” Carina’s gentle voice filled the room as she entered.
“Liam, here’s Mamma,” Maya said, her voice wavering, as she looked up at Carina, her lip wobbling again. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to stay strong and keep the worry at bay.
“He’s okay, I’m going connect him up to the monitor whilst we wait and then cuddles.” Carina reassured Maya, her voice steady and calm. Liam looked over at Carina and scrunched Maya’s top. “Sì, e' tua mamma, ti ama tanto, piccolo. Ti sta mantenendo al sicuro.” Carina said tapping his nose gently. “Metti questo sul tuo piede, bambino,” she continued, taking a sock off Liam’s foot, she tickled it and then taped on the sats probe onto it. “Good boy,” she said, stroking his head. Maya and Carina looked up at the monitor, both breathing in relief as they saw his oxygen saturation were 99%.
[Yeah, that's your mommy, she loves you so much, piccolo. she's keeping you safe. … let’s put this on your foot, bambino]
“Does he have a fever?” Carina asked Maya, placing her hand on his forehead.
“Yeah, but I don’t know how bad, I just heard the cough and panicked.”
“You’ve done great, Maya, I think he’s generally okay,” Carina reassured, placing a thermometer under his arm. “His work of breathing is a little bit up,” Carina observed, her hand on his stomach, “but I think he’s okay, just needs a little bit of dexamethasone and probably some Tylenol. And... Tante coccole dalla sua Mommy e dalla sua mamma!”
[Lots of cuddles from his Mommy and his Mamma.]
Maya nodded and then promptly burst into tears. Hiding her face in her hands, curled around Liam. Carina shuffled up to the bed, closer to Maya and rubbed her back, whilst holding Liam’s hand. “Bambina, Liam is okay, you did everything right.”
“It was just scary…” Maya began, her voice breaking with emotion, “I could hear him coughing before I even got in the house and at first it sounded like he was choking and then I heard the barking cough and I just knew. And he was just screaming between coughs and he reached out for me as soon as I saw him,” she stuttered, her lips on Liam’s head.
“Poor Pulcino, poor Mommy,” Carina cooed, gently prying Maya’s hand away from her face, wiping her tears. “Babies, they get sick my love. And it is scary, it is, he’s such a little guy,” she looked down at Liam who was now just coughing every so often, sucking Maya’s t-shirt, “But you were calm, you got a bag together and brought him here. And he was calm when I came over, so you must have calmed him down. The paediatrician is going to come and check him out, maybe give him a nebuliser, definitely a dose of dexamethasone.”
“He wasn’t this bad when you left, right? You said he was sniffly and had a cough,” Maya asked, stroking Liam’s head.
“Yes just a little cold this morning, but Croup is worse in the evenings. And over night. Oh, Liam Andrea hai spaventato tua Mommy,” Carina cooed, as Maya cried again. Carina reached out and stroked her hair. “Do you need a minute, my love? Step away?”
[Oh, Liam Andrea, you scared your Mommy.]
“I’m- I’m okay,” Maya nodded, her voice trembling, “I think the adrenaline is wearing off. I forgot the medical authorisation letter.”
“It’s on our emails.”
“I know, I called Julie.”
“You’re smart,” Carina kissed her cheek, “Liam, Mommy è davvero super intelligente!”
[Liam, Mommy is really super smart.]
“I’m not, I panicked.”
“Doesn’t sound like you did, stop punching yourself up about it Maya.”
Maya chuckled sadly, correcting her wife, “you mean beat yourself up.”
“Yeah, stop doing that,” she picked Liam up and laid down next to Maya with him on her chest. “Well, at least you got me off work early, Liam,” Carina added, kissing his head.
“Were they okay?”
“More than, they called in the on call fifth year so there’s cover. Liam is very loved by his little OB family.”
“I’m sorry if I scared you when I called.” Maya apologised, resting her head on Carina’s shoulder, playing with Liam’s hand.
“You didn’t, I promise.”
“I should have called you sooner.”
“Maya, stop, seriously, you’re going to make yourself ill with the worry. Please stop, my love.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Carina kissed the top of her head.
“I wish they’d hur-” Maya was cut off by the door opening. Startled, Maya almost fell off the bed in her haste to stand up, Carina simply sat up cradling Liam who chose that moment to have another loud coughing fit. Both parents sprung to action, hovering over him, Maya rubbing his back whilst Carina reassured him in Italian.
“Ooh now that sounds like croup.”
Carina nodded, “he’s had a little cold Dr Calder and when my wife came home he was having a croup attack.” She sat him in her lap, and took over rubbing his back as Maya offered him his stuffed Giraffe.
“Okay little buddy,” Dr Calder said, approaching them, “I had a quick read of his chart. Born at 36 weeks?”
“Yeah, via a post-mortem C-section, his biological mom didn’t make it. We’re his foster parents.”
“I have his medical authorisation letter,” Maya chimed in.
“Its okay, it’s attached to his chart. Other than being slightly early, and a slightly traumatic birth, any other illnesses? Up to date with immunisations?”
“Sì, he’s had them all. And now, this is actually his first little cold,” Carina said, kissing Liam’s head.
“Okay, I’ll listen to his chest, his vitals look good, even after he’s been coughing. He’s nice and pink. Any rashes?”
“Not that we have seen,” Carina said, lifting the back of Liam’s onesie up, to have another look.
“And his diapers?”
“Completely normal, no changes. And he’s eating solids as fine mostly. I think the babysitter told me he was not as hungry but he still ate.”
The doctor nodded and listened to Liam’s chest, as his mom’s held their breath. Liam kicked unhappily, his face scrunching up in tiny annoyance, fists wheeling. Maya took his hand and squeezed it, pulling funny faces at him, which seemed to work, as soon the doctor was straightening up with his assessment.
“There is a small upper wheeze so I will do salbutamol neb as well as some liquid dexamethasone. And did he have a fever?”
“Yeah, 100.76.” Carina said, cuddling Liam close as he started to cry, Maya’s hand back on his back, so he had both of them close.
“Okay, little guy,” the doctor said, rubbing his foot, “Tylenol too. And I’ll get a nurse to do a blood glucose test in his foot but once we have given the dex and Tylenol.”
Carina nodded gratefully, “thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Mamma was right Liam, so medicine and then you’ll be all good!” Maya said, relieved that it wasn’t something more. Liam reached his hand out for Maya. She took it and kissed it, but Liam held his other hand out.
“Looks like Pulcino wants Mommy,” Carina said, brushing his fine hair off his forehead. Maya smiled and picked him up, cuddling him to her chest. Carina watched as Maya immediately started swaying, her lips on the top of his head.
“I got you Liam.” Maya whispered.
“Okay so Nia texted,” Carina said, finally looking at her phone.
“Oh god, can you apologise from me for shouting at her. I was just… I was stressed,” Maya admitted quietly, her guilt evident in her voice as Liam started to settle, rubbing his eyes every so often
“She said she hopes Liam is okay, she was about to call me about his cough when you came home because it had only just started like that-”
“Oh I feel so bad,” Maya groaned, her stomach sinking as Carina summarise.
“She said he didn’t nap so he’ll probably be tired,” Carina gestured to Liam who was growing more tired with each passing second. “And she said she apologises, like she says sorry a lot in the message, and she said she loves looking after Liam and she hopes we’ll have her back but understands if not.”
“Oh god,” Maya groaned again, sinking into the chair now that Liam was almost asleep, coughing growing a little less frequent. “She’s really good with him, and the house was spotless even though he’d been unwell. Please tell her how sorry I am, that Liam’s okay and that we would love to have her back. And we should also get her a gift card,” Maya added, feeling so guilty for how she had treated the babysitter. “And we’ll pay her extra.”
Carina chuckled, “I’ll just tell her that Liam is fine, we would gladly have her back, and that you’re sorry and you were just worried.”
“Yes, oh god, I’m so sorry of she doesn’t come back Car.” Maya said anxiously. Carina had spent weeks interviewing people to become Liam’s babysitters, as there was long waiting lists for crèches in the area. They had three, but Nia always left the place clean and Liam was always happy with her. Maya liked Nia.
“Maya it’s fine. I’m sure she more than understands that Mammas get stressed when their babies are sick. Even you, big strong fire fighter,” Carina teased, pointing at Maya with a smile. “How was work?” She asked her fingers tapping away on her phone as she typed a response to Nia.
“Good. Nothing big. Missed you and Liam last night.”
“We missed you too, I got that snot sucker you insisted we needed out,” Carina said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed so she was now facing Maya.
“And?” Maya inquired eagerly, grinning.
“And it worked, but I was scared the moccio was going to up into my mouth. But he stopped snoring and waking himself up,” Carina explained with a small laugh, it had been a fairly comical ordeal getting the snot out of Liam’s nose.
“Oh my poor guy, you didn’t sleep well right?” Maya asked Carina, nocking their feet together.
“I was surviving on coffee. He mostly wanted cuddles and I don’t like falling asleep with him.”
“Yeah,” Maya sighed empathetically, “I think he might be tired too,” Maya turned to the side and showed Carina Liam, who was sucking his finger, fast asleep. “Too bad they’re going to disturb him.”
“I know, poor bambino.” Carina fixed his onsie, “it’s nice to know in a few months we won’t need to clarify we’re his foster moms.”
“I know,” Maya agreed, a warm feeling spreading through her chest at the thought. They were just waiting for a court date for him. Nobody had contested the adoption. They had passed all of their interviews and home visits, and soon he’d be theirs officially. Maya kissed the top of his head and whispered, “forever ours, baby boy.”
“And we might be pregnant by then?” Carina said hopefully.
“Yeah,” Maya nodded, as long as Carina was feeling well and her body was ready they were planning the in-utero implantation of their little blastocysts in the next month.
“Are we a little crazy for doing two under two?” Carina chuckled stroking Liam’s foot, thinking about having a toddler and a baby wreaking havoc.
“Probably, but I mean, look at him,” Maya turned again, showing Carina his peaceful face, “he’s too cute not to want more!”
There was a knock at the door. A nurse entered quietly, holding Liam’s medicine, “oh, it’s good he’s sleeping,” she said, as Carina motioned for her to be quiet, “But I am going to have to be the bad guy and give him is medicine. Dr Calder wants to hold off on the nebuliser until he’s had the dex. So I’ll so this and the Tylenol and then his little heel prick. All going well an hour of observation and he’ll be good to go home with some more dex just in case.”
“Thank you,” Carina said, “can I give it to him?”
“Can she?” Maya said, “she’s really good, he always takes it and never cries when his mamma does it.”
“Of course,” the nurse said handing Carina the two syringes, “You’ve got a cute one Dr DeLuca.”
“He’s absolutely adorable,” Maya grinned, “it’s the cheeks for sure.”
The nurse chuckled, “it probably is. I bought a little numbing for his foot.”
“You can just do it,” Carina said, gently rousing Liam.
“Sure?” Both mom’s nodded, “okay.”
“Okay, buddy, Mamma has some medicine,” Maya said. Carina put the syringe into the side of his mouth put it in and blew on his face. Liam swallowed it and whimpered, cuddling into Maya. “One more, my guy, and then all done!” Maya turned so Carina could see him. She repeated the process with the second syringe and then took Liam, rocking him.
“How can I help?” Maya asked the nurse who was preparing the things.
“If you can hold his foot still, that would be great.”
Maya nodded and stood next to Carina holding Liam’s foot. They both winced as she pricked it but Liam continued to play with Carina’s hair. He whimpered a bit when she squeezed it but then it was done and he was back to sucking his fingers and rubbing his eyes to soothe himself.
“Va bene, piccolo, va bene,” Carina stroked his hair as Maya gave him the Giraffe.
“Okay, well pop in every so often but you should see an improvement almost immediately.”
“Thank you,” Maya said, focused on Liam. She stroked his forehead as Carina hummed to him softly. “I love you,” she whispered, kissing his little warm forehead, “forever.”
“Andrea had croup a lot when he was little,” Carina said, settling on the bed with him.
“Yeah?”
She nodded, “between ages two and four. Sometimes it was okay and just a small attack. Sometimes Mamma would take him to the ospedale and I would come if Nonna and papa weren’t around. I always used to stroke his hair in the back seat whilst Mamma drove. I can’t wait to show you where I grew up when Liam can travel.”
“I can’t wait to see it, I’m sorry we haven’t been.”
“Ah well covid and babies and trying to make babies it got in the way but soon, no?” Carina shrugged, thinking ahead to all of the places she wanted to travel with their kids, home to Sicilia being the number one.
“Babe?” Carina noticed how her tone had shifted to be more serious.
“Sì?”
“Do you get, uh triggered, when you’re in the ER?” Maya asked hesitantly.
“Triggered? I don’t think so, why?”
“Just Andrew and I were both treated in that room,” Maya pointed through the window to the trauma room.
“I know, but I only saw Andrew there, you were in the CICU when I saw you. Do you?” Carina returned the question, sensing there was something else.
“I… I don’t like being in there for longer than I have to,” Maya said, unsure. “I mean I, I bring patients in, but as soon as I’m not needed, I go. I remember waking up and being so confused.”
“Jack said you kept asking for me,” Carina nodded, thinking back to that horrible evening.
Maya nodded, “I think I didn’t want you to come because Andrew had been in that bed and-”
Carina nodded understandingly.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Maya rushed out, “I’m sorry I threw his death back in your face. I’m sorry I didn’t help myself.”
“I know you are. You tell me too much. I have forgiven you entirely, Maya. I know how ill you were. You need to forgive yourself, my love.”
“I’m working on it,” Maya said, kissing Carina’s forehead, “I promise.”
“I love you too.”
Maya chuckled, nuzzling their noses together, kissing Liam’s hair.
“I know we just got the crib at night-time down, but could he sleep in the bassinet tonight?” Maya asked, as they entered the house, hours later. Liam had improved massively, to the point where a sniffly nose was all he had to remind them of the horrible ordeal.
“I was thinking the same. And maybe some cuddles on the sofa until we’ve eaten. Because I don’t really want to put him down just yet.”
“What do you want?” Maya asked, already on her phone.
“Thai?”
“Yep. Thai it is,” Maya grinned and kissed Carina and then Liam who was playing with her hair. She was so relieved Liam was on the mend. She crouched down next to him, taking his hand “bubba, promise me you won’t scare me like that again.”
“Oh he will,” Carina chuckled at Maya’s plea, “he’s part DeLuca, part Bishop, he’s bound to scare us again. We just have to be there when he does! Sì?”
“Sì,” Maya smiled.