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Summary
Gorgug stays the night. Fabian ponders ceramics and tin.
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Favourite Thistlecaster fic :)
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Bookmark Notes:
Albarello; a type of tin-glazed ceramic jar used to hold medicinal supplies. Albarello are distinct from other tin-glazed ceramics in that they bear the name of their intended contents.
*
He has been broken before, Fabian realizes. He’s already been the drumstick, the spanner. Gorgug has already taken him in his hands and snapped him in half. He was first, actually. If anything, both spanner and drumstick would be jealous of him.
Because Gorgug has broken him, and then taken all those broken parts, and laid them down, and poured gold between the cracks. Like what they do to pottery. Gorgug is not proficient in ceramics, but he could do this. Fabian is sure of it. Gorgug is brilliant, beautiful, wonderful. Gorgug hugged him in the Forest of the Nightmare King. Gorgug gave him a tin flower on the first day of school. Maybe that’s what he used to piece Fabian back together again.
Not gold. Tin.
It’s not something you sell. It won’t fetch you much, and that’s fine, his father once told him when they were stopped in a port. Years before he ever stepped foot on Solace. Years before he ever knew Gorgug’s name. But it’s flexible, durable, and it’s made to last. You keep tin for building, for mending, for reinforcing. You don’t sell your tin. You use it when you want to make something strong.
*
Gorgug watches him, looking up from where he is, kneeling at the side of Fabian’s bed. His hand falls, almost instinctively, to Fabian’s knee. It is crushing, burning, and comforting all at once.
No matter. Fabian was not born unbreakable, but he has been reinforced. He has been made to last, and he has lasted.
Fabian looks at Gorgug. “When you do this, it makes me want to kiss you,” he says, and his voice shakes on every single word.
*
Gorgug squeezes his knee. “Do you like… like me?” He asks, very small.
Fabian swallows. “I want to kiss you right now.” He hopes that explains enough. Mazey didn’t really get it when he tried to explain that he might want to kiss later. He still sort of wants to kiss her a lot, actually.
But Gorgug is here, and his hand is on Fabian's knee.
Even quieter, Fabian adds, “Or hug me. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”
Whatever lets me feel your breath. Whatever reminds me that we're both real. This house is so empty, and you've somehow always found me when I was cold and shaking and alone. A kiss is hotter than a hug. A hug is tighter than a kiss. Spring break, I believe in you. You went to the friendship section of the library for me. Hoot growl. We are not the same boys who met each other. I hope I get to see every version of you from tomorrow until the end of the world. I want to dance with you. Thank you for staying. You fixed my bike. I'm sorry I slapped the last tin flower out of your hands, could I maybe get another shot at that?
Fabian's voice is barely a breath when he concludes, "A high five would sting, but I'd get it."
*
He leans down. Gorgug catches his face in two massive hands and pushes them back. “Not like this,” he says, and then pushes Fabian flat on the bed.
Fabian’s head lands right next to the Tinkers’ Tools. He barely notices them, holding his breath as Gorgug crawls up onto the bed and over Fabian’s body. He is so big and broad and even this shirt is kind of tight around the shoulders. His hair hangs loose around his head. His dark orcish eyes are so bright in the dark.
“Oh, we’re making out,” Fabian realizes, quickly adding before Gorgug can second-guess himself, “Which is good. I was gonna settle for like, a peck, but this is great. I’ve been meaning to get my kisses in.”
Gorgug smiles and leans in without another word.