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he was going to get them all killed. it was only a matter of time and if tanjiro was too stupid to realise that then zenitsu would just let them be. there was a difference between being a royal knight and a royal pain in the ass and looking at inosuke? he wasn’t sure what the fuck to think.
“ino!” tanjiro, the CROWN PRINCE, rushed forward just before his so called “royal knight” could step into another bear trap. it had been the 4th one that day and it was barely afternoon.
he was starting to wonder if they’d actually die before they reached the palace gates. it would not be an honourable death and he’d torture them in their next life.
“thank you, your highness” inosuke says, “but i’m perfectly fine”
he wasn’t.
“i know that” tanjiro smiles so brightly at the idiot, zenitsu has to look away before he’s blinded, “you’re the most precious thing in the world to me, I just want to make sure you’re not too tired”
it’s a lie, at least the last part. zenitsu is also annoyed because it’s so very obvious the two are head over heels for each other and it’s disgusting. how can they be so sappy when the prince is supposed to carry himself properly, especially in public.
the only thing keeping zenitsu sane is the fact that they’re almost home and he can finally see his precious nezuko.
“you’re damn right i’m precious!” inosuke scoffs
“oi!” zenitsu throws a rock at him but it misses, good thing too because inosuke would have no problem tackling him onto the ground and they needed to look presentable in front of the royal family, “don’t speak to the prince that way, he is not your friend!”
“shut your damn trap” inosuke flips him off and zenitsu, much like everyone else, wonders why the hell tanjiro kept him around and where he even found him.
the thing is, inosuke is strong, ridiculously so but he isn’t as strong as the crown prince and he’s too calm clumsy half the time. no one wanted to imagine how he’d be in battle, trying to defend tanjiro while also not slipping and falling right onto someone’s sword. it’s embarrassing really and zenitsu rolls his eyes, climbing back onto his horse.
if zenitsu sees the dreamy look tanjiro sends inosuke’s way when he moves the hair out his face, he decides against commenting on it. inosuke might’ve been a sappy weirdo when it came to the prince but zenitsu had no doubt he’d beat his ass if he said anything and he wanted to look good for the princess.
“you cannot be serious?!”
oh but he is. tanjiro is extremely serious and it’s why he’s made sure to count the gold himself. he can’t have any mistakes in case they decide to be evil and cut his poor bab— his very capable and strong knights hair in retaliation.
“pay them what they ask for” tanjiro says firmly, no room for arguments.
“this is insane!” genya says, “am i the only one that sees that?”
“a fucking kidnapping?!” he adds, “OF A ROYAL KNIGHT?!”
“say it any louder and you’ll wake the entire kingdom” giyuu shakes his head, “tanjiro—”
“prince tanjiro” zenitsu clears his throat but giyuu ignores him.
“tanjiro has given an order” giyuu continues, “just pay the fools what they ask for”
“so that’s it?” genya scoffs, “no punishments?”
“we’ll deal with them after” tanjiro says, “but not before i have inosuke back”
“we will follow close by but we can’t make it obvious” giyuu says, “the royal guards have already been given their orders so just do your job”
genya knows better than to try and argue so he nods and picks up the heavy boxes alongside zenitsu. no one was going to go against tanjiro anyway, not even the king, his own father.
this almost felt like a bad plot of a terrible romance movie, only the damsel in distress was a very strong royal knight that was super gay for his prince and super loud about it. that thought sent an unpleasant shiver up genya’s spine.
“i’m starting to think that fool gets himself into trouble on purpose so he can have all your attention” zenitsu frowns
accept that he’s not. inosuke was just so clumsy and well, it did not help that tanjiro distracted him so much on and off the job that he was starting to worry about his own life.
he needed some serious, SERIOUS, reinforcements.
he contemplates this as he watches the very large pack of wolves surrounding him. he’s already dealt with a few but call him stupid, he doesn’t want to hurt them so he’s not sure how to go about this. he knows he’s strong, stronger than anyone else tanjiro knows and it makes him feel fuzzy inside when he thinks about the prince and his stupid smile and stupidly handsome face and his perfectly soft hair.
it’s why he’s in this damn situation in the first place. he wondered off to get wild flowers to make a flower crown for the prince but he didn’t pay attention to the route and ended up in a den.
a den full of very angry wolves, especially after he may or may not have injured their pack leader.
before they can charge at him, tanjiro comes swinging from a branch and lifts him off the ground. he will never admit to the squeak he lets out or the way he swoons, watching his prince move faster through the woods while holding him!
truly worthy of his title as crown prince and it’s why inosuke is perfect for him… as his royal knight of course.
“you silly man” tanjiro sighs fondly, “what am i gonna do with you?”
“kiss me!” inosuke yells and he’s never been more thankful that they’re alone.
“wha—”
“KISS ME RIGHT NOW GONPACHIRO!” he yells louder and tanjiro laughs because how can he not? he was so fond of this big idiot.
he really was in trouble.
tanjiro sighs into the kiss. he can admit he’s thought about this moment one too many times and inosuke’s lips are as soft as he imagined them to be and they taste like peaches.
“coconut!” inosuke gasps when they break up, “you ate it without me?”
tanjiro giggles and flicks his forehead.
“it’s the chapstick you gave me” tanjiro smiles, “you told me it smells good”