Chapter Text
The first time it happened was because Usopp panicked.
They had made landfall earlier that day. While Nami enjoyed the newfound feeling of freedom of living on a ship, she longed for a good night’s rest on solid ground. Preferably in the nice plush bed of a luxurious inn. Such nights were rare, of course, as they only happened when they could afford it. And considering that they were almost always broke? Very rare even. But because of her unparalleled haggling skills, Nami managed to have her way more often than not.
This particular evening would be one of those special times, especially after enduring sleepless nights thanks to the rocking of the ship in the storm she had predicted.
Living on a ship was still very new. So, even when the sea was calm, the gentle swaying would throw her off, especially when she was trying to sleep. She knew it lulled most sailors and pirates to sleep, but she couldn't help but miss solid, unmoving ground. When she complained over breakfast one morning, Sanji had told her it would take some time to adjust. Unlike her, he’d said - in a rare case of sharing something about himself - he found it difficult to sleep on land. He’d spent his entire life at sea, therefore that gentle rocking was almost a necessity for him to fall asleep.
So, when the Merry finally docked at a small tropical island, Nami couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Though they had only been sailing together for a few weeks, all the sleepless nights were beginning to take their toll. Even Sanji’s expertly brewed coffee and tea could only do so much.
After wandering through the bustling streets adorned with colourful stalls, and a few berries poorer, they finally stumbled upon the town inn.They had somehow lost Zoro and Luffy along the way, but that was a problem for later (read, she’d send Sanji or Usopp to drag them back).
Despite that, the sight of the quaint inn made her smile. Nothing could ruin their stay on this island.
“I’m sorry, but I need your surname before continuing this transaction,” the clerk stated politely, looking at Nami expectantly.
Nami couldn’t help but balk at the request. Clearly she had jumped the gun. This clerk was going to ruin everything over something this meaningless. Most sailors didn’t even have a surname. For a town that was known for welcoming sailors, that seemed like an absurd request.
A surname? She’d never had one, as far as she could remember. She’d always been just ‘Nami’. She could give Bellemere’s surname. But now that she thought about it, she had no idea what Bellemere’s surname might have been. She and Nojiko had never found it odd not to have one, it’s just how things had always been. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if Bellemere even had one.
A glance at Usopp revealed that their sniper’s usual quick thinking was eluding him. His face was twisted into the familiar expression he wore as he tried to think of an answer before inevitably lying. Hell, for all she knew he might not have a surname either.
With both herself and Usopp not being an option, that left Sanji. Come to think of it… did Sanji have a surname? Turning her gaze to the cook, she was taken aback as she took in his expression. It was twisted into a nearly haunted look, his teeth grinding into his cigarette and his face had paled to a ghostly white. Concern prickled at her, but she had to deal with the issue at hand before addressing whatever had spooked Sanji.
With her two crewmates unable to provide a surname, she realized that, as always, she would need to think of a solution herself. She thought back to Cocoyashi village, trying to recall any citizens with a surname. She’d finally settled on using Genzo’s surname when Usopp’s head suddenly shot up and he blurted out a rushed “Roronoa!”
Three heads swiveled to look at Usopp, who shrank back under their collective gaze.
“I’m sorry?” the clerk asked politely, slowly pushing his glasses back up.
“Our- our surname. It’s Roronoa.” Usopp stammered, attempting to stand taller.
Thankfully the clerk looked down to his bookkeeping, so he didn’t notice Nami’s baffled expression nor the fact that Sanji’s eyes had narrowed, glaring daggers at Usopp as he seethed at the prospect of being associated with their swordsman.
“So, just to clarify, you are all Roronoas?” the clerk asked, giving them an appraising look over his glasses. “Forgive me, but you don’t seem to be related. Are you… partners?”
The sheer absurdity of the situation and that statement alone prompted a collective, loud noise of denial from all of them. She was sure the noise they made would have been hilarious if it hadn’t come from them.
“Oh god no,” Nami exclaimed, her face cringing in disgust at the idea of such an outlandish thing. The mere thought of it was enough to make her stomach turn.
“No, we’re, uh… we’re siblings,” Usopp stuttered. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he struggled to maintain the facade. “Adopted, you see.”
“Adopted, of course. My mistake,” the clerk said with a tight smile. “Very well, how many rooms will that be?”
“Three. Three rooms, please.” Nami replied firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument. She had no intention of sharing with any of those idiots, especially not now.
“Alright, here are your room keys. I hope you have an enjoyable stay with us,” the clerk said, handing Nami three keys.
“Right, course. Thanks.” Nami said curtly. She practically dragged Sanji away from the counter where the cook, now broken from his horrified stupor, continued to glare at Usopp.
Usopp trailed behind her slowly, before turning back to the clerk. “Oh, if you see a green-haired man and a boy wearing a straw hat, tell them our room numbers. They’re also our brothers.”
The clerk raised an eyebrow. “Big family, I see. Very well, I will send them your way should I see them.”
Task completed, Usopp rushed to catch up to her and Sanji as they made their way towards the stairs leading to their rooms. The silence surrounding them felt almost palpable.
Once they were out of earshot, Sanji couldn’t contain his indignation any longer. “Roronoa?! Roronoa ?!” he exploded, rounding on Usopp with an incredulous expression. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry! I panicked!” Usopp exclaimed, his voice shaking as he shrunk back at Sanji’s fury. He raised his satchel in an attempt to hide his face behind it. “I could only remember two surnames and the other one was ‘Monkey’, which seemed less believable?”
“But why would you make us related to that directionless piece of moss?!” Sanji fumed.
“I didn’t see you coming up with any solution!” Usopp retorted. He shifted slightly to stand behind Nami, who sighed as Sanji spluttered in response. A quick bonk to the skull shut both of her moronic crewmates up.
“It is what it is,” she interjected, moving so she was no longer shielding Usopp. “At least we managed to get rooms. Who cares what surname we used? I just want to sleep in a damn bed.”
“But what if that stupid Mosshead finds out?” Sanji said, his face still contorted in a grimace.
“Oh god, you’re right. What if he gets mad?! I don’t want to be cut to ribbons because of this!” Usopp exclaimed, legs starting to shake with anxiety as he attempted to shift back behind her for protection.
“While I agree Usopp chose a… less than ideal surname, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s not like he’ll find out, especially since no one will mention it to him,” Nami said pointedly, reinforcing her statement with a hard glare.
As they climbed the stairs to their rooms, tension lingered in the air. Sanji grumbled under his breath. He lit a new cigarette and was still visibly irritated by Usopp’s impulsive lie. Usopp, on the other hand, seemed to shrink with every step, overwhelmed with anxiety.
Nami couldn’t help but roll her eyes at their childish behaviour. She wasn’t thrilled by the situation either, but they were overacting. “Enough, you two. We're here to get some rest, not to argue over a silly surname.”
Sanji shot Usopp a final glare before reluctantly conceding. "Fine, whatever. Let's just get this over with."
Upon reaching their rooms, Nami handed each of them a key. "I’m going to enjoy a nice warm bath,” she declared. God knew she deserved one dealing with this crew. “You two are on moron shepherding duty.”
She slammed the door behind her, ignoring as their squabbling started again. However, she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the back of her mind. They’d just used Zoro’s name without asking. Thankfully no one had recognised it, and she was almost sure Zoro wouldn’t care. She just hoped their charade wouldn’t come back to bite them in the ass, but knowing their luck, it probably would.
Later, as they gathered at a bar for dinner (after finally finding and shepherding Zoro and Luffy), no one mentioned anything about surnames. Nami breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed like the other two hadn’t found out. And they never would. The moment they left this island, it would all be behind them.