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It was perfectly average day for Kousuke – until it wasn’t.
For lunch they’d had pork rice bowls, the steam still rising up as the club said their pre-meal chant. Although the weather was warming with each passing day, both morning and evening were still chilly enough to raise goosebumps on Kousuke’s exposed forearms when heading to and from practice. Their training regimen did keep them active for most of the day, but even then, he appreciated the hot and filling meal.
After lunch came a quick break via a nutrition lecture from Mr. Shiga, then it was time to clean up and head back outside. When he heard Coach announce that Hamada had arrived to help practice the anthem, Kousuke mumbled (mostly to himself), “Do you think Hamada finally became a second year?”
Two of the new underclassmen from Ara-Sea leaned in from behind him. “Who’s Hamada?”
Yuu took a moment to explain how everyone knew the cheering captain, but at a comment on how nice it was that four members had been in the same class, the third baseman let out a sigh. “I wish we didn’t have to shuffle classes.”
Now, it wasn’t as though Kousuke was completely unaware of the yearly switch – unlike Ren, who’d frozen up at the words and needed a nudge from Kousuke to start walking again – but he admitted that it’d been… pushed to the back of his mind, so to speak. Whether it was school hours or a break period, he was either practicing baseball with the team, or doing baseball-adjacent activities with the team, or hanging out with his friends. Which, surprise, meant hanging out with his teammates. And since he had classes with them, he’d naturally grown the closest to Ren, Yuu, and Hamada.
With how often they were normally together, it hadn’t sunk in that the amount he saw them would change with the new year.
As they practiced the school song in the warmth of the afternoon sun under Hamada’s guidance, though Kousuke was just barely able to keep his voice from leaning too off-key, he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. Some warbling and sniffling from Ren had gotten them confirmation that Hamada was advancing grades, and while that eased one of his worries, statistically speaking it didn’t do much for the classmate situation. There was a decent chance he’d be paired up with at least one fellow baseball player, but who exactly Kousuke ended up with could impact things. Getting placed with someone he wasn’t especially close to would mean basically starting from scratch; or worse, having multiple teammates in his class who were already friends could leave him unable to join in on a pre-established dynamic.
Then there were the friendships he’d built over the past year. Kousuke glanced to his left, where Ren’s quiet singing was getting drowned out by Yuu’s belting, then back to Hamada, who was waving his hand like a conductor in an attempt to keep everyone on-beat. If he wasn’t classmates with a single one of them, would they be able to maintain their current level of familiarity? Ren was childhood friends with Hamada and nearly attached at the hip with Yuu, but Kousuke didn’t have anything like that going for himself. The closest tie he had to their group was being Hamada’s old underclassman, and that connection would only grow more tenuous as time passed.
Afternoon strength training cleared his mind for a while, if only due to how exhausted it left him. But after the excitement of enjoying their first dinner under the newly installed lights wore off and it was time to head home, Kousuke’s stomach sunk like lead as he watched Hamada walking home with Yuu and Ren while he headed off in the other direction. It was only because they lived in completely different areas, but tonight, even that bothered him. Now matter how their classes changed, those three would always be able to leave practice together.
With such thoughts swirling around his head, it was no surprise that by the time he arrived back home, Kousuke was feeling rather miserable.
***
Yesterday had been the final day of training camp, so Kousuke had no plans for his last two days of spring break. Still frustrated from the day prior – though mostly at himself – he lingered under his covers for a bit after waking up. That got boring quickly though, so he dragged himself out of bed, scrounged together some leftovers for breakfast, and got dressed.
After all that, it was… still mid-morning. Great.
Upon returning to his bedroom to grab his phone, Kousuke found it void of messages. He could try sending a text in one of the group chats, but his thumb hovered over the home button. If he struck up a conversation, would he be annoying? Or if he stayed quiet, was he being distant? Being too clingy or being too aloof – which would be worse when it came to his friends’ opinions of him?
With a groan, he turned off his phone. The only thing that could keep his mind clear would be baseball practice, and lots of it. There wasn’t space in the backyard for him to do anything too crazy, not like Yuu’s place, but he could at least exercise on his own and maybe finagle his brother into playing catch with him later in the evening.
Stretching came first, after which Kousuke went for an endurance run around the neighborhood, wanting to make his rounds before the afternoon heat came in. It wasn’t quite the speed they normally maintained during practice, but he kept at it long enough to tire himself out despite that. After returning home, a quick break, and some more food, he took the sliding door out back (the grassy area being relatively shaded in the afternoon by the big tree in their neighbor’s yard) for sprinting practice and agility-focused drills.
Eventually he managed to wheedle his brother off the computer, though only for just under an hour. At least his mom was happy to see them spend some time together outside – or maybe she was just enjoying a moment without either of them loitering around indoors.
Only after completing his training for the day did Kousuke turn his phone back on, at which point it immediately started buzzing with a string of messages spanning the past few hours. Apparently, some of the guys were thinking of going out tomorrow to buy new school pants and maybe browse one of the local sporting goods shops. Several people had already agreed: Hanai, Takaya, Yuuto, Shouji… And Yuu and Ren. Shintarou had morning plans but suggested that if they went in the afternoon, they could grab dinner afterwards.
“Sorry . . . can’t . . . make it . . . Got . . . family plans.” Kousuke muttered to himself while typing up a bold-faced lie as he shuffled down the hallway back to his room.
They’ll probably have more fun without me anyways.
He watched a few sad emoji reacts pop up before he closed the app, tossed his phone onto his bed, then followed suit himself, flopping face-first into his pillow. Maybe he should go, talk to his teammates and reserve himself a spot in whatever future dynamic would be thrown his way. But Kousuke didn’t want to start back at square one and hope for the best. And yet he couldn’t stay with his current classmates, so rather than celebrate an end to the year, he’d just rip off the Band-Aid now and be done with it. Whether that was better, he couldn’t say, but it was certainly easier.
***
Ding dong.
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
Sunday had started out much the same: mope in bed, finally get up and go jogging, then return home. But early in the afternoon, the doorbell began incessantly ringing.
“Get the door, would you, Kou?” His dad asked-slash-instructed him, so Kousuke meandered to the entryway, not bothering to check the peephole before swinging it open.
Awaiting him was an extremely familiar trio of faces: one smirking, one grinning, and one anxious. “I told you he was lying!”
“We’re borrowing Kousuke, Mr. and Mrs. Izumi! We’ll be back after dinner!”
One of his wrists was grabbed by Hamada, the other by Yuu, and the two of them had dragged him out the front door before he had a chance to react, only a faint “M’kay!” of acknowledgment from his dad coming from back inside. The door was promptly closed and the four of them began walking – nay, marching – down the street.
“Where are we going?”
“Didn’t you read the group chat? We’re getting pants and stuff!” Yuu tugged him a bit further forward when he dug his heels into the ground. “Hamada was all, ‘there’s no way he’s busy, he said just the other day that he had no plans,’ and everyone else ended up being able to make it if we did it in the afternoon, and we’re getting matching pants, so we need you there too!”
“Yes, I read it, but –” Kousuke tugged on his arms a bit to no avail, then sighed. “– why does that mean I need to come along?”
“Kousuke, do, do you not…” Suddenly Ren, who had been keeping his head down throughout most of this exchange, looked up at him with possibly the saddest, wettest puppy-dog eyes Kousuke had ever seen. The pitcher took a deep breath, trembling slightly. “Do you not like us anymore?”
Luckily, he had enough sense to avoid instinctively yell out a ‘hell no, that’s not it,’ as just the act of raising his voice would’ve sent Ren running all the way back home. Averting his gaze, he glanced over at Yuu and Hamada, whose eyes were both sparkling.
Ah. They’d realized he was acting up and pulled the ‘sad Ren’ card to weasel an answer out of him. Kousuke had already fallen into their trap the moment he’d failed to prevent them from pulling him outside.
“No, it’s not… that…” Kousuke frowned, all his thoughts slipping away the moment he attempted verbalizing them. “I’m just – we’re… you know?”
Ren’s eyes started darting around, a clear sign that no he did not. After a moment, Nishiura’s ace locked eyes with the cheer captain and redirected his pleading, at which point Hamada stepped into the conversation.
“Well, I know we’re friends. What of it?”
“It’s because we’re friends that this is so frustrating… Does it just… not bother you at all? Becoming second years?”
Hamada rubbed the back of his neck and gave an apologetic grin. “I’m just glad to be advancing a grade this time, personally.”
“Look, that’s all well and good, but not exactly what I’m getting at here.”
“And what are you ‘getting at here’? Izumi, we won’t understand it properly if you don’t tell us.”
They’d stopped walking at some point, all crowded together on some random street corner, which wasn’t Kousuke’s ideal place to be having this discussion. But all three of his friends were looking at him expectantly – patiently, actually – and so Kousuke took in a deep breath, forgetting to exhale slowly.
“We’re not going to be in the same class this year, dammit!” Ren’s flapping mouth swung closed in a wince as Kousuke raised his voice, so he took care to keep it steady as he continued. “It bothered me, but then it frustrated me that I was bothered, and I didn’t want it to bother me any more, so I wanted some time to get used to it. That’s all. Can I go home now?”
After a moment, Yuu finally let go of his wrist, Hamada following suit. The third baseman closed his eyes briefly as if contemplating something, nodded, then opened them again.
“Were you worried we’d stop being friends, Kousuke?”
“…”
“Well, I don’t want that to happen. How about you, Hamada?”
“Nope.”
“And you, Ren?”
A violent shaking of Ren’s head served as the pitcher’s response.
“We want to stay friends with you, and you want to stay friends with us. Just because we won’t see each other in class doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out; we just have to put in some effort for it. And when you want to do something, it’s easy to make an effort, right? It’s like baseball that way.”
Kousuke blinked, digesting the surprisingly insightful statement. “Yuu, that… might be the wisest thing you’ve ever said?”
“Eh? No way! I say wise-y things all the time!”
“Name one thing –”
It was only a brief conversation, consisting of small affirmations. But somehow, Kousuke’s worries began to dissipate like the morning dew from the grass in his backyard, fading with the rising sun. His friends still liked him, and wanted to see him. Heck, the meetup spot for today’s get together was up near Fumiki’s place, which meant the three of them had gone far out of their way just to drag him to a social event and try to cheer him up. So as they resumed walking and the conversation turned to their usual nonsense, a spring returned to Kousuke’s step.
The matter of everyone’s new pants (well, everyone sans Hamada, who didn't need them) was a quick discussion: they decided on a color and had Shouji pick out the style he thought looked the nicest. Then the team made their way over to a sporting goods store that was relatively close by, and although they’d talked earlier going to a few different places, they ended up walking through the entirety of the store instead, only leaving once their stomachs started rumbling. Udon won the group vote for dinner, so Takaya found them a local joint with above average reviews. It became something of a goodbye dinner for their first year after all, with everyone clustered in groups corresponding to their old classmates, but Kousuke no longer minded.
“Cheers, Class 9!” Yuu raised up his glass of water as everyone was giving personal toasts.
“Cheers!” Kousuke clinked his glass against his friends’ and they all chuckled lightheartedly as Ren teared up while smiling.
Eventually it came time to leave, but despite having reached the point where Kousuke should’ve split off from everyone for the final stretch, he found himself followed by three tag-alongs.
“It’s not often we walk home with you, yeah? I suppose it’s not so bad every once in a while.” Hamada grinned and slung his arm around Kousuke, who couldn’t be bothered to shake him off and instead just shook his head.
When it was really, truly time to say goodbye for the night, they all stopped at his front door to give the usual pleasantries. Just as Kousuke grabbed the door handle to head in, though, Ren spoke up.
“K-Kousuke!”
He looked back over his shoulder.
“See you… tomorrow!”
Ren smiled – the rare wobbly grin that meant he was extremely happy.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
***
The very first thing Kousuke did upon waking up Monday morning was look for the class listings on his phone and make good use of the in-page search function. First, he found himself (Class 4). Then he continued checking: Yuu, Class 2; Hamada, Class 5. Feeling that anxiety bubble up once again, he searched for Ren.
Class 4.
“Hell yeah!” Kousuke pumped a fist in excitement, only to slap a hand over his mouth at the realization he’d yelled, and quite loudly at that. Who could blame him though? If nothing else, it was a guarantee he wouldn’t be completely alone, somehow the only member of the baseball club in the class while the rest were crammed together elsewhere. He scrolled back up to the top of the Class 4 listing to check for any more members, or maybe any familiar names from last year.
Right there at the top was Takaya. Directly above his own name, actually, leaving Kousuke surprised he’d missed it on first scan. There’s nobody else from the baseball team there though, so it’ll just be him, Ren, and Takaya.
Him, Ren, and Takaya…
Ren and Takaya, as classmates…
It’ll be okay, right?
With a nod to convince himself that there was nothing to be worried about, as Nishiura’s pitcher and catcher were getting along the best they ever had, Kousuke got dressed and headed to school. He arrived at class not too long before Takaya did, so the two of them chatted for a bit before Ren eventually showed up.
“Did Ren always call you Takaya?”
“Huh?”
“The way he calls you – it used to be ‘Abe,’ right?”
“… What?”
It only took that brief morning conversation before Ren teetered slowly to his seat, overwhelmed. As he slumped into his chair, Takaya turned back to Kousuke, still looking confused as to what had just happened. “Uh… I’m counting on you this year.”
It’ll… be okay, right?