Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Here's what Evan believes: if someone can do something that other people can't, if they offer some unique and special service to the world, they should do that. They have an obligation to use whatever skills they have, ideally to help people. It's just the right thing to do.

And Evan knows that he himself doesn't have a lot to offer. He's not that smart, never did particularly well in school, and while he's always been athletic and fit, he's not, like, exceptionally fit. Even if he'd had a more normal childhood, he couldn't have gone pro with football or anything. He wasn't especially talented, he just liked having something to do.

The one thing that Evan can do that almost no one else can is see ghosts. Which is admittedly really cool. Like, a literal super power. It's not like he's complaining that this is his destiny or whatever.

It's just kind of awkward, because there's not really a very clear thing to do with the ability to see ghosts. People have these problems that he could fix, but he knows better than to knock on someone's door and tell them, "Hey, I can see there's something haunting your attic, want me to exorcize it real quick? No charge."

So he's got this gift that he used for his entire childhood because his parents were the ones finding him jobs or coming up with excuses why he had to be in whatever abandoned building, and when he finally gets fucking sick of it and leaves, he doesn't actually know what his next steps are.

At first, it's a relief to just be kind of a normal guy. He learns to surf and to bartend and he hops the country around as much as he had with his parents, but at least he's in the drivers' seat now. Cats are totally right: there's a huge difference between jumping into a box and being put in one.

Still, he doesn't like just ignoring what he can do. It's worst in small, old towns, the ones with years of history, where every creaky house has been there for a hundred years at least and holds ghosts like retaining heat. Buck does what he can when he's in places like that, gives peace and comfort if he's able and almost always has to leave the state in a hurry because someone catches him breaking and entering.

But it still gnaws at him, the knowledge that he could be doing more. His parents used to tell him he was born for a reason, and even if he wished they'd thought just existing and being their son was reason enough for him to be born, they might not have been wrong, either. It's something he can do that no one else can. If that isn't destiny, what is?

He ends up in LA mostly because Connor offers him a place to crash, and he's sort of idly thinking about giving up construction to become a first responder when Jack says, "Holy shit, we should try out for this."

"Try out for what?" asks Connor.

Jack spins his laptop to show them all the post he's looking at: Casting call for Sixth Sense, First Response.

Evan lets out a surprised laugh. "What is that?"

"One of those ghost-hunting shows! I guess the hook is that most of the team is former first responders, but they want another cast member. Twenty to thirty, athletic, lifts heavy objects. You're probably the best fit, Ev, but we should all do it. It'll be hilarious."

Everyone else agrees, like this would be some hilarious joke, but something is thrumming under Evan's skin. He always kind of knew about shows like that, but his parents had been dismissive of the whole concept. Amateurs, all of them. Not enough supernatural aptitude to fill a thimble. Like his parents hadn't relied on him to tell them what to do because they couldn't do what he did.

But, well, why couldn't he be on one of those shows? Obviously, he's not going to say that he's got any actual supernatural skills, but he has the background for it. He knows all of the stupid EMF stuff and how to make a salt circle and how to chant in Latin to make it look good for people who actually believe their places are haunted. And, well, he thinks he'd probably be okay on TV. Not to be too conceited, but finding dates has always been one of the things he doesn't struggle with. He's an attractive guy and people seem to find him charming, at least for a night or two, which might be enough to get him a callback.

Honestly, they should be begging him to do their show. But he's realistic. They'll get lots of applicants. He might not make it.

Still, it's worth a try, right?

*

The interview immediately goes off the rails when the lead ghost hunter--older, white, with a friendly smile and a slight midwestern accent when he says, "Robert Nash, call me Bobby"--asks, "So, why do you want to be a ghost hunter?"

"I don't," says Evan, kneejerk, and Bobby's eyebrows shoot up his forehead. "I mean, uh, I do. Obviously. That's why I'm here."

"Okay. Can you tell me why?"

Evan clears his throat and takes a sip of the water a PA gave him. "Honestly? My parents were ghost hunters. That's why I'm kind of torn about it. You ever have that thing where, like, your parents want you to eat your vegetables and when you're a kid you hate it, but then you get older and realize they really are good for you and maybe your mom just sucked at cooking them?"

"I'm familiar with the phenomenon."

"I guess that's kind of like me with all the supernatural stuff. I didn't like my parents packing me into the back of the car and driving me across state lines so we could throw some salt at some rumors, but now I'm on my own and maybe I can do it on my own terms, you know? I love going to old houses and I don't scare easily. I know how to use most of the tools, but it's been a few years so you might have better stuff, but I think I'll pick it up fast. And I like helping people."

Bobby's face is an impenetrable mask of bland kindness. "So you're a believer? You think you'd be helping people?"

"I think it doesn't matter what I believe," says Evan. "Ghosts are real, ghosts aren't real, whatever. People who see stuff like this, experience it, they need something. Maybe it's a carbon monoxide detector, or maybe it's just someone to come out and tell them, yeah, I spent the night there, I heard some weird stuff, I did what I could. And I kind of liked being that person. I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"But on your terms."

"And for money."

That makes Bobby laugh. "Your parents didn't get paid?"

"No, I think they did. But I didn't get a cut." He bites his lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why are you doing this? I saw you used to be, like, a real first responder. Why are you changing jobs?"

"I got married."

"Oh, uh, congratulations?"

Bobby smiles. "Thank you. Not too long after the wedding, I got hurt on the job. Pretty badly. If it was still just me, I probably would have gone back anyway. Even with her, I was thinking about it. I wasn't sure what I'd do if I took an early retirement. One of my paramedics told me about this, encouraged me to try out with him. I thought I might as well see about it, and the producers like me. And I'll still have plenty of time to pick up some hobbies and drive my wife crazy."

Buck smiles too. It sounds like a really nice kind of life to have, at Bobby's age. Even at his age, it sounds pretty good. A cool job, time for hobbies, and someone to go home to. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." He clears his throat. "So, why are you looking for someone who wasn't a firefighter? I'm pretty sure there are a dozen guys like me already in the force. Couldn't you just pick one?"

"Well, that's kind of the funny thing. There are, but none of the ones who wanted to leave the force to join up really had the attitude we were looking for. The team right now--there's three of us, me, Chimney, and Hen--we're all older. Hen has kids, Chim, well, okay, Chim just really likes the idea of being a ghost hunter. But all the younger firefighters who wanted to give up on the job didn't really feel like they fit in with us. Not doing it for the right reasons."

"I guess that's why it's the first thing you ask. I was actually already studying to become a firefighter," he adds. "If that's something you need to be on the show. I've been bouncing around jobs, but I thought it might be a good fit for me."

"I think it might be," Bobby agrees. "But I'd rather have you on the show."

Evan's jaw drops. "Wait, really? Isn't there more to do? Like an obstacle course or something? Screen tests?"

"Oh, there's red tape," Bobby says, like it's nothing. "But I wouldn't worry about that. You, Evan, are exactly what we're looking for."

*

"I think he's great," says the guy that Evan now knows as Chimney. "But Evan just doesn't pop."

Evan frowns. "Uh, how can I be great if I don't pop? I sorta thought those two went together."

"Not you," says Chimney, with a dismissive wave of his hand like there's a universe where this misunderstanding is on Evan. "The name, Evan. Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad as Howard. Your parents were nicer than mine."

Evan opens his mouth to object, but closes it. He's not sure how to start that argument, and it's probably not worth it anyway. Whose parents sucked more is a terrible dick-measuring contest to get into, even if he thinks he could win against most people.

"But when you're out in the field, you want a name that feels good to yell. Something that gets attention. You ever have a nickname?"

You need friends to have a nickname, and to have friends you need to stay in one place for more than a year at a time. "Not really."

"People with one-syllable names don't need nicknames, Chim," says Henrietta, who goes by Hen for related reasons. "But you're right. I think it needs to be a little sexier. No offense."

"Uh, none taken?" says Evan. He's never had a particularly strong opinion on his name. It's just kind of there. "You can call me something else if you want. Fireplace?"

"Fireplace?" Hen repeats.

"He's Chimney!"

"Having a firefighter whose nickname shortens to Fire would be incredibly confusing," Bobby points out. "We could just call you Buckley."

Buckley is his parents' name. As in, Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, we need to talk about Evan. How many times did he hear that as a kid? All they ever wanted was for him to keep a low profile at school, but if he didn't act out, they didn't notice him. Not until they had a lead on some supernatural weirdness.

"Still a little long," says Chimney, saving Evan from having to figure out a reasonable objection. "How about Buck? Short, sweet, easy to remember."

One time, when they lived in Maine, Evan almost had a friend. A guy named Henry who came over to the house once, like Evan was a normal kid who had people over. He'd called Evan's dad "Mr. B" and Philip had told him that his name was Mr. Buckley, and Henry would address him properly, using his full name, or not at all.

Honestly, even if they hadn't moved around, Evan might not have had many friends.

"Buck," he says, trying the name out. It's not like Evan is a bad name. But this one feels better in his mouth. "Yeah, I could be Buck."

Chimney claps him on the shoulder. "Great. Welcome to the team, Buck."

Evan--Buck--feels a grin growing on his face. "Yeah, thanks."

*

The whole pre-show process is honestly incredibly weird. Buck is the only one in the cast who has any actual experience with ghost stuff, so despite being the youngest, he's kind of the expert, explaining how a spirit box works and what kinds of things they can expect to pick up if a real ghost is around.

Which is, of course, even weirder because Buck knows for a fact that half of the things they're using don't actually do anything, and the ones that do work don't work how people think. The spirit box has never let him hear an actual ghost communicating. Some of the things that detect heat signatures are decent, but they work only on a delay, telling you where the ghost was a few seconds ago, not where it is now.

If most ghosts were malicious, ghost hunting actually would be really dangerous. But most of them just want someone to help them move on. It's not really their fault they can't communicate with words and have to resort to other ways to try to get their message across.

"So, Buck," Hen says, as they do a trial run in a studio to make sure they know how things work before heading into the field tomorrow. "Are you a believer? Bobby said he couldn't tell."

"I don't think we should rule anything out," Buck says, because that's better than ghosts are real and I can see them.

"No wonder Bobby likes you, he's the same way."

"Whereas I am a true believer," says Chim. It's not really a surprise. "Ghosts, ghouls, goblins, demons, dragons, aliens? I'll take it all. Why limit what could be in the world?"

"Because of science, Chim," says Hen.

"Yeah, but you have to leave room for chance. For wonder!"

"Uh huh. Is that why you're having Buck do the solo investigations? In case wonder comes out and tries to kill him?"

"That is because I'm not as young as I used to be. These days, I'm much better equipped to provide support."

Hen rolls her eyes and Bobby shakes his head, but Buck has to smile. It's not like he's the only one who will be going into the building, but he's the front lines, and he'll apparently get to be on his own a lot.

He should have tried to get on a ghost-hunting show years ago. The whole situation is pretty much ideal. If there are real ghosts, he'll be able to try to deal with them on his own before the others show up, or after they leave, and when there aren't, he knows for sure that he has nothing to be afraid of.

And for the first time in his life, Buck is having actual fun with the whole thing. Ghost hunting was always deadly serious when he was a kid, even if it really shouldn't have been. But for his parents, his abilities had never been a cool way to help people. They'd been driven by something he's never figured out, had something they were searching for and never seemed to find. Even when he got rid of all the ghosts and the homeowners were happy and paid whatever fee they paid, his parents had never really celebrated. Only Maddie had ever told him that he'd done a good job, that it was so cool he could do this when no one else could.

Fuck, Maddie. He hasn't actually talked to her in years. Does getting cast on a TV show warrant a phone call instead of a postcard? He's not even sure he still has her number.

They're heading out to film their first episode in the morning, and he has no idea how long it'll be before it actually airs. Maddie doesn't need to know right now, but somehow, he's sure he needs to talk to her right now.

He knows better than to ignore his instincts.

He's antsy until he gets home, but luckily traffic is kind and it's only twenty minutes. As soon as he's inside, he pulls up her number, hoping it works. The call connects, but it rings for so long he worries that there's no one on the other end. No Maddie, no voicemail, just a phone somewhere forgotten that will ring until he gives up hope.

Finally, she picks up. "Evan?" Her voice is barely a whisper.

"Hey, Maddie. How are you doing?"

"It's not a great time."

He swallows hard. "Okay, well, um. Can you call me back later? Or can I call you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that. Maybe in the morning. I'll be at work starting at nine."

"Okay. I'm in California now, but I have a pretty early start tomorrow. So I can call you when you get in, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"I love you," he says, feeling desperate with it. "If you need me to come--"

"No, of course not. I'm fine. I love you, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Buck doesn't exactly miss flip phones, but he does miss having something to close with force. There's nothing satisfying about hitting the disconnect button on his iPhone, and he kind of wants to punch the wall to get the feeling out.

It would have been nice if Doug was a monster. Maybe not a ghost, but one of the less savory creatures they ran into sometimes, some supernatural being that made Buck's blood tingle with wrongness. If he could have told Maddie his bad feeling about the guy was more than just a feeling.

But Doug's just a run-of-the-mill human asshole, and Maddie can't or won't see it.

If he flew to Boston to try to fight the guy, it would only make Maddie's life worse. She doesn't want him around her; she's made that more than clear. And he has things to do in the morning.

So he goes to bed, but he doesn't sleep for a long time.

*

The studio said they'd send a car for him in the morning, which had made Buck feel like a real superstar. But Chimney is already in the backseat, which kind of ruins it. Carpooling is way less glamorous, but at least it's environmentally responsible.

"Morning," says Chim, raising a giant travel mug. "Didn't know you lived this close to me."

"I probably won't for much longer. Nothing personal," he adds quickly. "I have like five roommates. Now that I've got a decent salary I'm thinking I can go down to one or two, tops."

"Wow. Living the dream."

"I don't know if you've heard about the housing crisis."

"I know you're getting paid pretty well."

Buck shrugs. "For now. But who knows how long the show's going to be on. I don't want to burn through all the money on a nice place I can't afford in a year."

"Huh. Wouldn't have taken you for a planner. Or a pessimist."

"I spent a lot of years living job-to-job," he explains. "I'm not going to say I'm good with money, but I like to have some savings and I know that things can change fast."

"Wow. You've got layers, Buck."

"Something like that." He checks his phone. "Hey, uh, you mind if I make a call? I told my sister I'd check in when her shift started this morning."

"East coast, I hope."

"Yeah, Boston."

"Might end up there if we do get another season," Chimney says. "Very haunted state, Massachusetts. All those witches."

Buck snorts. "Yeah, maybe."

Maddie picks up a lot faster this time, and her voice is steadier. Normal again. "Hey, Evan. Sorry about last night."

"No problem. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Just a rough patch. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Mads--"

"It's fine. Really. Are you okay? It's been a while since you called."

He glances at Chimney, but he's drinking coffee with his eyes closed, apparently content in his own world.

"Yeah, I just, uh--I got a new job!"

"Great," she says, but the confusion is clear in her voice. "No postcard?"

"It's on a ghost-hunting show."

The pause is long enough that Chim raises his eyebrows over his coffee, so not only is he eavesdropping, but he can hear Maddie well enough to know when she's talking.

"We're on our way to shoot the first episode now," he adds. "Me and my new coworker, Chimney. We're going to some prison in Oregon."

"You're going to a prison in Oregon with someone named Chimney?" Maddie asks.

"Well, it sounds weird when you put it like that."

"Hi, Buck's sister!" Chim calls.

"Buck?"

"Yeah, it's my new nickname."

She lets out a breath. "What are you doing, Evan?"

"Hopefully making enough money that I can get my own place where you can come and crash if you ever need somewhere to go."

"At a prison in Oregon."

"That's not where I'm living! We're filming there for two days, then going to..." He snaps at Chimney.

"Haunted ranch in Montana."

"Montana. We have thirteen episodes for the first season and I'm making a ton of money. I mean, for me. Not, like, movie star money. But really good. Especially if it gets renewed."

"And you're okay with this."

"Right now? Absolutely. We'll see how I feel after the prison."

Maddie sighs. "Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"

"Nah. They probably don't watch whatever weird channel this is on anyway."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"I do. I'll tell you when there's a premiere date."

Chimney is still watching him when he hangs up. "Your parents did this, right? How do you get into that?"

"I have no idea."

It's mostly true. Buck knows that his parents were into the whole ghost thing before he was born, that Maddie had been dragged around before he was. Both of his parents have some sensitivity to the supernatural, but he's the strongest in the family. Once he was old enough to question things, he'd wondered how they'd started doing this, but no one had ever had a real explanation for him.

"It was just what they did," he tells Chim, the same thing Maddie told him.

"And now it's what you do?"

Buck shrugs. "Pays the bills, right?"

Chim doesn't look fully convinced. But all he says is, "Right."

*

Prisons really aren't the hotbeds of ghost activity that people assume they are, as a general rule. Buck thinks it's because most people don't really know much about ghosts. Vengeful spirits aren't very common, not in the way people think they are. The most common reason ghosts don't move on isn't hatred or trauma; it's love. The ghosts who have the most trouble going are the ones who love their homes or their families or something else so fiercely that they don't know how to leave them behind. It's part of why ghosts don't tend to be dangerous. Most of the time, Buck meets a ghost, has a conversation, and either they agree to move on or agree to a timeline for leaving. After their grandchild is born or the house is sold to a nice new owner. Easy things, most of the time.

If Buck was to guess, he would say that death strips people down to their component parts, to the bright light at their cores, and that one shining thing is what keeps them connected to the world.

And, well, as a general rule, people who die in prisons, even people who die horribly, aren't very interested in sticking around. The few times Buck has found ghosts in prisons or mental asulyms or places like that, they're usually friends. One died and the other waited, and then they both lingered, not sure how to move on until he talked them through it.

"This place gives me the creeps," says Chimney, because he doesn't know how unhaunted prisons are. "Can you really go in there alone?"

Buck sizes the place up. It's creepy in the same way all old buildings are, empty and dark, full of shadows. But he's more likely to get hurt by a falling beam or a rusty nail than he is to get attacked by a ghost.

"I'll have you in my ear, right?" he asks.

"Does that help?" asks Hen. She and Chimney will be doing their own searches too, but together and after him. "If we get a next season, you should have a buddy. In case a floorboard breaks or something!" she adds. "Not for ghosts. We're paramedics, but we need to make it to you in time."

"I'd rather have a bigger paycheck than a buddy," he teases. "I like my odds."

One of the producers steps in, apparently having finished deliberating with the other producers about next steps. "We're going to start rolling soon. Bobby, you're in the command center. Hen and Chimney, start prepping your stuff. Buck, you'll go in first, set up the base camp, and then scout with the EMF and find active areas for Chimney and Hen. Bobby will guide you with the feed from your camera."

Buck bounces a little on the balls of his feet, surprisingly eager. He's not really helping anyone here--it's not like anyone's living in an abandoned prison--but it feels like the start of something real. Something that could be good, if he can make it work. "Ready when you are," he tells the producer.

When they are still takes a while. There are a billion checks to do, trouble-shooting for the camera he's wearing, tests of their headsets and microphones. Buck's never been more ready to go in and prove a place isn't haunted in his life.

Unfortunately, the second he steps into the building, his senses burst into life, every hair on his arms standing up as he feels the presence of a ghost.

"Great," he mutters.

"You okay in there, Buck?" Bobby asks in his headset.

"He's barely in there," says Chim. "Is something not working?"

"It's creepier than I thought it would be!" he lies quickly.

"I can come if you need some backup, Buck," says Hen.

His feet are moving towards where he can sense the ghost without much input from his brain. His body knows this is what he was meant to do, no matter what else he might tell it. "No, uh, that's fine. Just needed a second to get used to it."

"Where are you headed, Buck?" asks Bobby. "We need narration for this."

He studied the map of the place on the plane, but his brain is empty now. "Heading down to the cell blocks," he says.

"Start in the old guard station," Bobby reminds him. "You need to check it first so Hen and Chimney can set up their base there."

"Right," says Buck. He gets himself turned around, even though every instinct is fighting against it. "Should have said my sense of direction sucked, huh?"

"It's our first time," Bobby says, like this isn't easier than riding a bike for Buck. "You're doing good, Buck."

Buck swallows past an uncomfortable lump in his throat. Hauntings are routine; praise is novel. "Okay, I think I see it. Gonna do a visual check and then run the EMF, then I should be ready for you two."

"Copy that."

Buck doesn't let himself hurry, even though he already knows there's nothing in the guard station and there is something in the cell blocks. But the ghost isn't moving, doesn't seem inclined to come looking for Buck. He's pretty sure they're not in any danger.

"Okay, guard room secured. You want me to wait for you two or should I start looking around?"

There's a silence on the end of the comms that sounds pointed. Chim is the one to finally say, "You want to go look around?"

"That's what I'm here for, right?"

"It's okay if you need a minute, Buck," says Bobby. "We're going to be here all night."

"Yeah, I know. I'm fine. I used to do this all the time."

He can hear talking on the comms, but it must be producers, because he can't make out any words until Bobby says, "They want you to talk about that."

"What?"

"Growing up as a ghost hunter. You can do it while you walk if you want."

"Oh, yeah," says Buck. Somehow, he hadn't put two and two together and realized that they'd want to put his background on the actual show, instead of just seeing it as a qualification. "I grew up doing this," he says, starting back towards the cell blocks. "My parents were kind of early adopters of the whole ghost-hunting thing."

"Do you know how they got into it?" Bobby asks.

They've already had this conversation too, but not on camera. "Not really? Everyone's parents have weird hobbies, right? Some dads fish, mine looked for ghosts."

"And they brought you along?" Hen asks. "How old were you?"

"Uh, I always went with them," Buck admits. "For as long as I can remember."

"I cannot let my son watch this," she says with a laugh. "He'll want to come along."

Buck brightens. "I didn't know you had a kid, Hen. How old is he?"

"Six. Denny."

"Can't wait to meet him. I love kids."

"Of course you do," says Chimney. "Cap, we're in the guard station. Getting our stuff set up, and then you can tell us where you want to go. Unless Buck finds something more pressing."

He is getting closer to something. He can feel that, the homing beacon in his gut drawing him unwaveringly to whatever is haunting this place.

Don't be too obvious, Evan, his mom's voice echoes in his head. If you find the answer too quickly, they won't believe you.

The stubborn, rebellious part of him wants to ignore it, but the rest of him knows that's stupid. His parents were wrong about a lot of things, but not this. He doesn't need to walk to a specific cell and then start doing weird shit with no explanation. He has to figure out a way to make whatever he has to do television-appropriate, and part of that is not giving away that he knows exactly where he's going.

"Checking the cell blocks," he tells the team. "I figure a bunch of people probably died here, right?"

"We're heading down to solitary," says Chimney. "That was reported as a hotspot."

Solitary confinement is probably the creepiest part of any prison, so that checks out. "What do you think happens to a ghost if there's a fire?" Buck finds himself asking.

"What?" asks Bobby.

"I mean, if a ghost is haunting a house and the house burns down, do you think the ghost sticks around? Or does it go down with the house?"

"Probably depends on the ghost," says Chimney, which is right. "Imagine getting called to a scene and the family tells you there's a ghost you have to save too. Like it's a family pet."

Hen snorts. "How would that even work, Chim? How would you know if you'd saved the ghost?"

"Maybe they know what it's haunting. Like, you've got grandpa's ashes on the mantle and he's haunting the urn."

"Then they could just grab the urn," Buck points out. "Don't really need us to do it."

The us is a little uncomfortable in his mouth, but the producers had insisted that he get his firefighter certification and had even paid for the whole thing, so it's accurate. And if the show doesn't work out, he can probably just join the force instead. That's not nothing.

"Finding anything in those cells, Buck?"

"Nothing on the EMT yet. Just a lot of dust and graffiti."

"My update is that I hate it here," says Chimney.

"This was your idea!" Hen says. "You were the first one cast."

"And I stand by it. I can want to do it and hate it at the same time."

Buck can see the ghost now, a shimmering form outside one of the cells, waiting for him. There must be something tying it there, something keeping it from wanting to come too close. "Isn't there something you want to do that you don't hate?" he asks.

"No, I think I need to hate my career a little. It keeps me humble."

Buck catches something in the light of his headlamp, and Bobby sees it too. "Buck, what's going on in that cell?"

It actually explains a lot. "I think someone must have been living here," he says,his heart sinking. "Has anyone ever found an actual body on a ghost-hunting show?"

There's a long silence as Buck keeps moving towards the cell. He can see it now, the sleeping bag, a few possessions, and, yeah. A corpse, most of the way to decay. Someone was squatting here, years and years ago now, and they loved it so much they haven't been able to leave.

"Someone should probably call the police," he points out, when the silence keeps stretching.

Chimney is the one to finally speak. "We're definitely getting renewed."

*

Buck robbed his first grave when he was, like, seven, but he can't tell anyone that, so he pretends to be kind of shell-shocked as he sits by the body and tries to figure out how he can help the ghost move on while he's filming and other people are listening.

"How did no one else find this?" Hen asks. "She's been here for at least five years."

She and Chim came to join him, since they're both trained paramedics. Not that the woman needs a paramedic, but they could at least do a visual scan to see what they can see. They agreed she'd probably died of natural causes, which makes sense to Buck. It would have been weird if someone had stabbed her while she was squatting in an abandoned prison. Most likely, she was homeless, living here, and died here.

Buck shivers, but no one seems to notice. The ghost is hovering to his left, waiting. She knows he can help. They always know.

"Most of the people coming here are probably stupid teenagers looking for thrills," says Chim. "Maybe a friend dared them to come into the cell blocks, but they wouldn't come down this far. And it's not like you'd notice the smell, not with all the other smells."

There's movement in the corner of his eye, and Buck and the ghost both turn. The window's glass is gone and the bars have mostly corroded away too, and in the opening there's--a cat. Sort of. It's not a ghost cat, but it's also not a cat cat.

"What's up, Buck?" Hen asks.

The cat jumps off the window and lands without a sound on the floor. It walks not to the corpse, but to the ghost, rubbing up against her legs, and the ghost's love shines out like a beacon.

"I thought I saw something," he says. "You don't see anything?"

"Something like what?" asks Hen. "You're freaking me out, Buck."

He crouches down, looking around everywhere, not just at the cat. "A raccoon, maybe? Or a cat? Some kind of animal."

"Probably a big rat," says Chim. "It would make sense if there were rats. We're probably surrounded by rats right now."

The cat comes to sniff Buck's hand, and no one comments on it, even though it must be in the middle of his camera feed too. So that's that: the ghost is here because it loves a magical cat, and Buck's not just the only one who can see the ghost, he's the only one who can see the cat.

Great. The only thing better than one supernatural entity to deal with is two.

The cat butts its head against Buck's fingers, and he turns his head away so the camera won't see him petting thin air.

He's still trying to figure out what he's going to do when the police show up, but they actually give him the opening he needs. They have to cut off their cameras and mics once it's an official crime scene, and while Chimney and Hen are distracted with the cops, Buck can focus on the ghost and her cat.

"So, you're pretty smart, right?" he asks the cat, his voice as soft as he can make it.

The cat cocks its head at him, blinking at him with huge yellow eyes. It's mostly black, he thinks, but its colors keep swirling, like there are galaxies on its fur.

"And she won't leave because she's worried about someone taking care of you. So when I leave, you follow me, and I'll take you home and take care of you. And then we can let her go, yeah? She doesn't need to stay here anymore. She can move on."

The cat considers him for another long moment, and then it jumps up onto his shoulder, settling in behind his neck like a soft, fluffy scarf.

No one notices, but the ghost reaches out, scratches the cat behind the ears, and smiles at Buck as she fades away.

Easy as pie.

The cat stays on his shoulders as the police finish up and they get back to their investigation, and it's with him as they leave.

So apparently, he's got a cat.

*

The ranch in Montana is actually occupied, so it's more like what Buck's used to, a family who's feeling so uncomfortable in their own home that they're considering actual supernatural phenomena as an explanation.

"Are we allowed to suggest they get a carbon monoxide detector?" he asks as they drive over. The cat is in his lap, invisible to the rest of the car. He's managing to occasionally pet it and make it look like his hand is just twitching. "Everyone should have a carbon monoxide detector."

Bobby's mouth twitches. "The show's official position is that all of these are potentially legitimate hauntings."

"Anything is potentially legitimate," Buck says. "I'm not saying we shouldn't check it out. But we might as well tell them to check the carbon monoxide while we're at it."

"We are first responders," Hen points out. "That's part of the hook, right? So we should be allowed to give practical, actionable advice. Buck's right, not everyone can get a ghost hunting team to come check out their house, but they can and should get a carbon monoxide detector."

"Exactly," says Buck. "Thank you."

"I'll see what I can do," says Bobby, a smile playing on his lips. "Okay, for the prison, I just had the caretaker to interview, but this is a working ranch, so we have more people to talk to. The owner is the one who got in touch with the show, so I'll be talking to him. Then we have…" He scans his list of names. "Two workers and one of the owner's kids to talk to. You three can divvy those up among yourselves."

Bobby hands over three sheets of paper with brief profiles: Amy Logan, 29, horse trainer; Luis Ortega, 34, supervisor; Reina Parker, 12, owner's daughter.

Buck and Chim both go for Amy at the same time--the picture attached to the file is cute, okay?--but Chim gets it first and hands Reina to Buck. "You said you like kids, right?" he asks, with a twinkle in his eye.

"I would love to talk to Reina," says Buck. She's cute too, albeit in a very different way. "Thank you, Chimney."

Buck worked on a ranch before, so he's actually kind of familiar with the setup. He's not close enough to the house to know if it's haunted, but it feels haunted in the way wide-open spaces do. Lonely, and like anything could happen.

If they're two-for-two on genuine haunted locations, he might have to start giving the producers more credit. But he doesn't find anything in the preliminary walk around the property, and when he goes into the house to meet Reina, there's nothing trying to pull him anywhere.

A camera person films this one, instead of Buck just having a camera on his body, and he feels like he's a reporter talking to a source. Reina's a little older than she was in the picture they had of her, fully entering teenage disinterest even though she's not thirteen yet.

"Is this for real?" is her opening question.

"What do you mean?" Buck asks.

"I mean, do you really think you're going to find a ghost?"

He checks the producer's notes. "We do show that, um, you had some unexplained experiences. That's why I'm talking to you. You don't think you saw one anymore?"

She huffs. "I think this place is old and weird and I was scared of it when I was a kid."

"So it's been happening for a while," Buck says, jumping on the opening. "Not just recently."

"I was like seven when we moved here. We used to live in an apartment in Portland. Then we came here and it was really old and really empty and really creaky. Of course I thought it was haunted. But ghosts aren't real."

Buck gives this due consideration. "Have you ever had a carbon monoxide detector?"

*

Ghost hunting for TV is pretty different from ghost hunting for his parents, but it's not like that's a bad thing. If they don't find enough real evidence of paranormal activity, they stage some, which is kind of fun, and no one is mad or disappointed if he doesn't find anything, because no one thinks there's anything to find. Everyone jokes around on the comms, and the weird cat is a pleasant, constant warmth on his neck or by his side.

Buck could really get used to this.

They finish up the ranch and head back to LA for a couple days off. Buck's apartment technically doesn't allow pets, but since the pet is invisible and doesn't seem to need to eat or use a litterbox, he figures it's not a big deal.

He also has enough money in his account to start looking for a new place, and the producers have been talking about turning the Oregon prison into a two-part opener, ending with Buck finding the body, because it turns out it doesn't matter how things actually happen for reality TV. They can pretend he looked around some other places first, put some focus on Hen and Chim, and build to the big reveal. The producers are thrilled, even talking an early season two renewal with more episodes.

So Buck starts looking at apartments. He doesn't find anything before they're heading to Texas and Michigan, but he talks with the rest of the team about if they know anywhere to live, and it turns out Bobby had a decent, cheap apartment before he got married and there are vacancies there, so Buck reaches out and has a visit scheduled by the time they get back.

He doesn't bring the cat on the trip, but when he gets back to the hotel in Texas, he finds her (he's like 90% sure it's a girl, and it's not like she cares or he can get a second opinion) sleeping on the foot of his bed like she lives there.

"Well, that's easier than carrying you around and looking like I'm nuts," he says, and takes the other side of the bed so he won't disturb her.

That's how it is for the rest of filming, pretty much. Buck goes into a bunch of houses that aren't haunted and it's fun. He falls through a floor in an old barn in Oklahoma and gets bruised to all hell, but Hen and Chim pronounce him basically fine, and then they have to do three more takes of it so it'll be sufficiently dramatic in the episode.

It's weird, but it's honestly a blast, and Buck is so glad when the second-season renewal comes through while they're filming the eighth episode, so he doesn't have to worry he's done with it. He'd be pretty bummed, honestly, if he never got to do this again.

*

He spends the first week after filming wraps getting moved into his new apartment. He didn't actually have that much stuff--the furniture in his room had come with the apartment, and he's happier leaving it behind for the next person than moving it--so he gets to go out and buy actual, adult furniture that he might actually want to keep, and then he gets to put it together.

The first Friday after they finish, Bobby invites him to a cookout, and he meets Bobby's wife and her kids, and Hen's wife and their kid, and he and Chimney pretend to be single and cool with it instead of single and weird about it. But after that, at least, the floodgates of communication are open. They have two group chats--one with Bobby, for actual conversations, and one without him for memes, because Bobby fundamentally does not understand memes--and talk almost every day. It feels like he's making actual friends, ones he can rely on, ones who might not just come with the job.

He sends Maddie a postcard with his new address, and makes sure to let her know that he has a guest room with an actual bed in it, and she's welcome any time. Not that he's expecting a response or anything, but he feels better having told her.

Chim calls him three weeks after filming finishes. "Are you bored?" he asks, without any kind of greeting.

Buck is lying on his couch, staring at the ceiling while Cosmo--he figured he wasn't getting rid of the cat, so he might as well name her--naps on his chest. "Incredibly."

"Great. Hen and I are picking up some shifts with our old house while we're not filming. I thought you might want to give real firefighting a try."

"Wait, seriously?"

"You did all the training, right? You're supposed to be a real first responder. And we know you work well under pressure and you've got no fear. The 118 would be lucky to have you."

"No, yeah, that would be amazing. I've been climbing the walls a little."

"Yeah, you didn't seem like the kind of guy who did well with downtime. Text me your address, I'll give you a ride in tomorrow. Introduce you to the captain, put in a good word, and we'll see if we can get you on the duty roster."

"Yeah. Yeah! Seriously, man, I can't thank you enough."

"You can owe me one. I always collect. Tomorrow, seven a.m."

"I'll be downstairs waiting."

He flops back onto the couch and Cosmo climbs back on him, her small, sharp claws kneading his chest without actually hurting, just little pinpricks of sensation, twinkling like stars. Like she's pressing constellations into his skin.

For the first time ever, things might actually be going his way.

Chapter Text

Buck picked up some overtime for extra cash, so he's just pulled his first ever forty-eight shift and is half dead on his feet and looking forward to just collapsing into bed and sleeping for at least twelve hours when he finds he can't unlock his door.

He looks down at his key, which is the right key, and then at the lock, which is a lock, and pushes the key against the lock again, like maybe this time something different will happen. He really can't figure out where the disconnect is occurring. All the pieces are there.

He only stops when the knob turns and the door moves away from him. For one wild moment, he thinks that Cosmo must have taken pity on him and used whatever still unknown powers she has to let him in, but then he looks up from his hand, still hovering at lock-level, and sees a man in the door instead. He's a few inches shorter than Buck, brown hair and brown eyes, looking more unimpressed than suspicious. Behind him, Buck can see a bunch of cardboard boxes in various states of unpacked and a ghost.

"This isn't my apartment," he says, like maybe the guy doesn't know.

"I sure hope not."

Buck checks the number, just to be sure; he's in 3E, and this is 3B. He rubs his face, his palm catching on stubble. It's the second of the month, isn't it? This guy must have moved in yesterday and brought a ghost with him, and Buck's feet just assumed he'd want to deal with that now.

"I'm really sorry, man. I'm a probationary firefighter and I just finished my first forty-eight hour shift. I'm lucky I made it to the right building."

"You sure about that?"

"Like ninety percent."

The guy cocks his head at Buck, a small frown creasing his handsome features. He's handsome, right? He seems really handsome. "Is your name Evan?"

"Uh, yeah. Did you get some of my mail? I'm in 3E, so they probably look kind of similar."

"I think you exorcized my grandfather. El Paso, 2007."

If his brain was running on enough cylinders to expect things, it would have been the last thing he expected. He's never actually met anyone his parents took him to see again, hadn't ever really thought about them. And, of course, he barely remembers his own name at this point, but, well, the guy does look kind of familiar. If he squints.

"Diaz?"

It had been pretty rare for him to see teenagers on the job, and he vaguely remembers the Diaz grandkid was about his age and usually crossing his arms and glaring.

He remembers the ghost, too. His parents had always tried to find malevolent spirits, ones that were doing harm, and the Diaz family had been an outlier. The grandfather had loved his wife and the rest of his family, and he hadn't wanted to leave without knowing how things would turn out for them. Buck had convinced him that they'd be okay on their own, and he'd finally decided he could go. Buck had gotten to tell the widow the whole truth about the haunting and the exorcism for once, and she'd cried and thanked him and told him what a good boy he was, plus a bunch of other stuff in Spanish that he didn't catch.

It's one of his nicer childhood memories.

Diaz offers his hand. "I go by Eddie, actually. I guess we're neighbors."

"Sorry I didn't remember you. And that I tried to break into your apartment."

"I probably wasn't as memorable for you as you were for me," Eddie concedes. "My grandmother brought in so many people to try to help her talk to Abuelo, and you were the only one who actually helped. When you left, she really believed he'd gone to a better place and she stopped wasting money on…" He trails off, apparently realizing what he was about to say.

"People like me," Buck supplies.

"No offense."

"None taken. It was my parents' idea, anyway."

Eddie opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, then closes it, shakes his head, and says, "Well, uh, you should try and find your actual apartment. Get some sl--"

"Dad! I need your help!"

"Looks like duty calls for you too," says Buck. "Sorry again about the--" He waves his key vaguely. "Hope your grandmother is doing good."

Eddie is smiling like Buck has said something kind of weird, and there's still a ghost in his apartment, but Buck simply does not have the bandwidth to think about any of that right now. The ghost will keep. "Yeah, she's good. Get some sleep, Evan."

"Buck," he corrects. "Welcome to the building."

He makes it three doors down to 3E, where the key works on the first try. When he glances down the hall, he sees Eddie is still watching him, as if he wanted to make sure Buck got home safely. Buck waves, and Eddie waves back, and Buck staggers into the apartment and falls face first onto his bed.

*

After his 48 hours on, Buck has 48 hours off, so he knocks on the door of 3B around nine the next morning, like a normal person. When it opens, he's expecting Eddie, but there's no one there until he looks down, and down, and sees a small boy with curly brown hair and thick glasses, a little unsteady on his feet. The ghost is right behind him, much closer than it was to Eddie. A woman, Buck thinks, but she's already getting vague at the edges. A newer ghost, probably here for less than a year.

"It's not Pepa!" the kid yells.

Buck wonders if this door will ever open without being profoundly confusing.

"It's not?" Eddie asks, coming out of the kitchen, drying his hands. "Oh, hey, it's not Evan."

"Buck," he says. "Did you actually say to call you Eddie or was I even more out of it than I thought?"

"Yeah, I'm Eddie."

Buck crouches down so he's at eye level with the kid. He's not the best at ages, but he'd put him somewhere from five to eight. "I don't think we got to meet yesterday." He offers his hand. "I'm Buck."

"Christopher," he says, shaking. "Were you trying to break in?"

Buck laughs. "Not on purpose. I thought this was my apartment. But your dad set me straight." He stands back up, looking at Eddie again. "Sorry for just stopping by. Are you expecting company?"

"My aunt. She's dropping off some more dishes for us and taking Christopher to check out the park. Were you just apologizing or did you want to come in?"

The offer seems genuine, and Buck would like to hang out, even aside from the ghost thing, but he still feels a little weird about it. Eddie might have appreciated Buck helping his grandmother out like ten years ago, but that doesn't mean he'll take it well if Buck tells him he brought a ghost into the building and that Buck can help with that one too.

Especially since he has yet to see any sign of Christopher's mom. Buck has his suspicions about who's haunting them.

Before he's come up with an answer, Christopher pipes up. "You should come in. Dad didn't cook."

Buck feels a smile tugging on his mouth. "Wait, didn't cook?" he asks, following Christopher as he heads into the apartment.

"He's really bad at it," says Christopher. "All he can make is cereal."

"You like cereal!" says Eddie. "Don't act like you're too good for cereal." He gives Buck a smile. "Hi again."

"Hi. Did I meet your aunt before?"

"No, she was already in LA. I think it was just me and my parents and my abuela back then."

Christopher is looking between them. "Back when?"

Buck stays quiet; it's definitely up to Eddie to figure out how he wants to explain the whole exorcized grandfather thing. That's way beyond Buck's paygrade as a new neighbor.

"We met one time in high school," says Eddie. "Coffee, Buck?"

"Please."

He pours Buck a mug and brings it over. The breakfast that he didn't cook is a plate full of pastries; Buck waits until Christopher has taken one before he grabs one himself. Eddie settles in with his own coffee and checks his phone. "Oh, looks like Tía Pepa is running late. Guess that explains it."

"Thanks for letting me crash your breakfast. You guys must have just moved in."

"Yeah, lease started on the first," says Eddie.

"Where are you moving from?"

"Other side of LA."

"We had a house," says Christopher. "But I like the apartment!"

His smile is infectious; Buck is physically incapable of not returning it. "Yeah? I like the apartment too. Feels like I'm really living in the city when I've got a lot of people in the same building."

"Yeah! And we have a balcony now."

"We used to have a yard," Eddie points out, smiling into his coffee.

"I like the balcony," says Christopher firmly.

"We have to be careful on the balcony, buddy. If you fell on the grass, it was no big deal. Fall off the balcony and we'll have to call Buck."

It feels like a very, very dark joke, and Buck's expression must show his alarm, because Eddie pales too.

"You said you were a firefighter, right? You could rescue him."

"Oh," says Buck, all the tension rushing out of him. Eddie can't just say shit like that when there's a ghost hovering behind his son. Buck might be better rested, but he's still off-kilter and feeling strange, and Eddie is making much darker jokes than he thinks he is. "Yeah, uh, for now. Firefighter for a few more months, and then I've actually got a TV gig."

Christopher perks up. "You're going to be on TV?"

Buck realizes instantly that this was a very bad thing to say, because Christopher is probably way too young for ghost-hunting shows, and now he has to either lie to a child or tell a child that he's on a TV show that he's probably not allowed to watch.

But both Diazes--and the ghost maybe-Diaz--are watching Buck, waiting for his reply, and there's nothing to say but, "Yeah, I'm on this ghost-hunting show."

Christopher's entire face lights up. "You hunt ghosts?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

"With your parents?" Eddie asks, his tone completely unreadable.

"Oh, no way," says Buck. "Yeah, no. I just saw a casting call and figured I had the background for it, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Christopher is looking between the two of them, suspicion in his eyes. "What's his background, Dad?"

Eddie smiles a little. "Well, your bisabuelo died when I was just a few years older than you are now. And Bisabeula, she had a really hard time with it. Like we've been having trouble since Mom died. And she thought it would help if she could reach out to him."

"Did Buck hunt him?" Christopher asks. It's hard to tell if he's excited or horrified by the prospect.

Eddie rolls his eyes, so probably excited. "No, he didn't hunt anyone. He just made Bisabuela feel better." His eyes flick to Buck's, as if he's daring him to contradict the story. "Most people who are dealing with grief like that, they just need time to process and someone to say the right things to them. But it's easy to take advantage of people who are grieving too. To take their money and not make them feel any better. Buck made her feel better, and she didn't have to talk to anyone else after that. He didn't fight any ghosts."

"I don't really fight any ghosts on the show either," Buck puts in. "We just wander around creepy buildings and see what we find. It's pretty fun."

"That sounds awesome! You should do that, Dad."

"I don't think I'm really cut out for ghost hunting, kid."

"Buck could teach you."

"What is it you actually do, Eddie?" Buck asks, trying to get them back on track.

Eddie shoots him a grateful smile. "A little of everything. Honestly, I kind of wanted to pick your brain about the firefighter thing. I was a medic when I was in the army, figured there might be some transferable skills."

"Would you believe I only got the firefighter certification so I could be on the ghost-hunting show?"

He lets out a surprised laugh. "I would not believe that. I didn't know it was a prerequisite."

"Not usually, but I guess there are a lot of ghost-hunting shows now, so the hook for this one is that the whole team are real first responders."

"Huh. Does that work?"

"No idea. First season hasn't come out yet, so I guess we'll find out. We're already renewed for a second, but after that…" He shrugs. "Personally, I'm just happy to get paid. And help people feel better about their homes," he adds, mostly for Christopher's benefit. "Sometimes, you just need someone to listen to what you're going through, like your dad said."

"There's no way that's what a reality TV show is looking for," Eddie says.

"No, they liked it better when I fell through the floor of a barn and almost broke my arm."

Christopher is very interested in that story, so Buck gives him all the details--it's technically a spoiler, but he's pretty sure Christopher isn't going to tell anyone--while Eddie watches with an unreadable smile. At some point, there's another knock on the door and Eddie goes to get it, but Christopher stays, listening to Buck like he's the most interesting person in the entire world.

Eddie probably needs babysitters; Buck should volunteer.

"Hey, Chris," Eddie says, gently breaking into conversation. "Tía is going to take you to the park, okay? I've got some errands to do."

"But I'm talking to Buck!"

"Hey, I live right down the hall," Buck reminds him. "I bet your tía came a lot farther to hang out with you, and I don't want to hog you. But maybe I can watch you for your dad another day."

His whole face brightens, and Buck is gone hook, line, and sinker. It's been less than an hour and he already adores this kid.

"Really?"

"Yeah, absolutely! I'll see you again soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Buck watches as Eddie helps him into a pair of crutches, then leans down to give him a hug and a kiss, probably murmuring something about how he loves him. Christopher says, "Love you too, Dad," loud enough that Buck can hear, and then adds, "Bye, Buck!"

Buck waves. "Have fun at the park."

The ghost follows Christopher out, so once the door shuts, they're really alone.

Eddie collapses back into his seat. "You didn't have to say that. You don't have to watch him."

"Are you kidding? I love kids. And he seems like an amazing one. Sign me up for the babysitting roster."

For a long second, Eddie just stares at him, apparently speechless with shock. Then he laughs. "I'm going to take you up on that."

"Good." He fiddles with the handle of his coffee mug. "Can I ask what happened to Chris's mom?"

"Car accident. She was crossing the road, got hit…" He trails off with a shrug. "Just bad luck, really. Wrong place, wrong time."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"To be honest? It's been weird. Not…I loved Shannon, don't get me wrong, but we'd been separated for most of our marriage. I enlisted to try to support her and Christopher, took another tour of duty after he got diagnosed with CP. I don't think she ever really forgave me for it, and I don't blame her. Once I got back, she took off to take care of her mom, and I can't really blame her for that either. We were trying to reconnect, see if we could be a family again, but then..." He wets his lips, lets out a hollow little laugh, and tries out a smile on Buck. "Sorry, man. Too much information, huh?"

"I don't mind."

"Guess you're probably kind of used to it."

He is, and the picture is coming together. Eddie and his wife, trying to make things work for Christopher and not quite getting there. No wonder he's the one she's attached to. "It seems like you need someone to talk to. That can be me. How long's it been?"

"Since she died? About eight months. It's part of why we moved. She wasn't actually living with us in the old house, but she'd been spending more time there. I could tell Chris was having trouble with it. I thought a fresh start would be good."

People can tell when they're being haunted, even if they don't know what it is. A lot of the time, it just feels like part of the grief, a weight following them around that they can't crawl out from under. It's why Buck actually had been able to help Eddie's grandmother in the first place; he got the ghost to leave, instead of just pretending he'd talked to him. He'll be able to do the same for Christopher, sooner or later.

Hopefully sooner. It's kind of nice to have neighbors. He doesn't want them to move again.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," he says without thinking, and then cringes. "Uh, not glad for the circumstances, obviously, but--"

"It's fine," Eddie says, with a wry smile. "Honestly, I'm glad we're here too. I needed a change."

There's a part of Buck that wants to linger in the half-unpacked kitchen, nursing his coffee until Eddie kicks him out, but the rest of him knows better. He's an uninvited guest, and Eddie is clearly a busy guy. He has things to do while his son is gone.

"I should get going. You have errands, right?"

"Yeah. But if you're serious about babysitting, you should give me your number. I won't be offended if you don't, but if you do, I will use it."

"Give me your phone, I'll text myself."

Eddie opens a text message and hands it over, and Buck puts in his number, enters his name as Buck (let me babysit), and texts himself Buck, text me your schedule so I know when you can watch Christopher for good measure.

Eddie laughs when he sees it, and warmth swoops in Buck's stomach. He doesn't think Eddie has gotten to laugh a lot lately; he wouldn't mind helping with that, either.

"Only child?" he asks, to Buck's surprise.

"Uh, no, I've got an older sister."

"But no nieces or nephews."

"Oh, no. Thank goodness." Eddie frowns, and Buck sighs. "Don't get me wrong, if Maddie ever has a kid, I'll love them more than anything. I'd be in the delivery room if she let me. But her husband is a piece of shit, and he probably wouldn't let me. I hope she leaves him before he manages to get her pregnant."

Eddie winces. "Sorry. That sucks."

"It's part of why I moved here, actually. I've got a guest room ready and waiting for her whenever she's ready."

It doesn't seem like a weird thing to say, but Eddie is watching him like he's trying to put him together, like Buck is a puzzle missing a piece.

Buck feels like that himself sometimes. If Eddie figures it out, hopefully he'll fill Buck in.

"Let me know if you do go for the firefighter academy," he says, when Eddie doesn't have a response to the Maddie thing. "I can help you study. My number works for more than babysitting."

"Thanks. Really."

Buck finds himself grinning. "Any time."

*

Eddie and Christopher slot into Buck's life with an ease like they'd always been in it. Living so close, it's easy for Eddie to text Buck when he has to run out and needs someone to watch Chris for a bit, and once he realizes that if Buck's around, he'll always say yes, he seems to lose his guilt about asking. And once Eddie decides he does want to apply to be a firefighter, he has a lot of questions about that too, hours and compensation and risk levels, and behind every one, Buck can hear the unspoken concern: if I do this, am I going to leave Christopher all alone?

Buck, for his part, can't stop thinking about whether or not he really does need a partner on the show. The premiere date for season one is coming up, and once it starts airing, the producers are going to nail down filming for season two. It might be nice, actually, to have someone to go along with him. Five people seems like a good number for the team.

And Eddie would probably be great at it. Christopher can come along when he's not in school, and the extra income would help them out. And even if he couldn't tag along, Chris would love it. He'd think it was so cool. He's already asked Buck about it a couple more times.

"But I don't know where to start," he explains to Bobby, a month into his friendship with Eddie. "Like, if I ask him first and the producers say no, I will have gotten his hopes up. But if I ask the producers first and he says no, they'll be pissed at me."

"They could probably find you another partner," Bobby says, looking amused. "Even if he wants to do it, they might want to do a casting call. Just because he's your new best friend doesn't mean he'll get along with the rest of the team, or that they'll like him for the part."

Buck waves his hand. "No, Bobby, you gotta trust me. He's perfect."

"For the show, or in general?"

"Kind of both. Hey, maybe he and Chris could come to you and Athena's next get together! You guys could meet him, try to sell him on the show. And Chris would love it. He needs more friends, and I think he and Denny are about the same age."

"Sure, bring them along on Friday. But Buck…"

"Yeah?"

"If you want a partner in general, you should tell the producers. But if your heart is set on it being Eddie, you should think about how you'll feel if it doesn't work out."

"Just meet him," Buck says. "And you'll see. You can help me talk them into it. That's what you did for me, right?"

"They agreed with me on you."

"There you go! You're going to agree with me on Eddie."

"And what if I don't?"

Buck just stares at him. Of course Bobby's going to agree with him. There's no way anyone could meet Eddie and not think he's perfect for the show. He's not a firefighter yet, but he's former military, hot as hell, and he and Buck get along great. If you were going to design Buck's TV ghost-hunting partner in a lab, you couldn't come up with anyone better than Eddie.

Still, Bobby's not going to believe that until he meets him.

"If you don't think it's a good idea, I'll drop it," says Buck.

"Really."

"Promise. I trust your judgement."

"You don't actually think I'll disagree with you, do you."

"I don't! And if you do, you're going to have to tell me why. But I promise I'll listen."

Bobby regards him for a long moment, then nods. "Okay, fine. See if he can come to our place on Saturday. I think it would be great if we had another person on the team. I just want to be sure that it's the right person for the right reasons."

Buck can't help grinning. "You won't regret this, Bobby."

"I probably won't. But if I do, I'll tell you why."

He was already planning on going right from lunch with Bobby to Eddie's place, but that's because he's watching Chris while Eddie has an interview for some construction job that Buck doesn't want him to get. Firefighter is a better fit, whether he joins the show or not.

So it's just going to be Buck and Christopher and Shannon's ghost, which Buck's hoping he's going to figure out how to resolve soon. If he could just talk to Shannon on her own, without Eddie or Chris around, he thinks he could convince her that Eddie has things handled, but he hasn't figured out how to get her alone yet. All she wants to do is follow Chris, and unless Buck can get him to take a nap or something, he doesn't know how to separate them without turning Shannon into a very angry spirit. Which has never ended well for him.

If Chris ever brought her up, Buck could probably steer the conversation in the right way, because he thinks Chris probably is going to be fine. Eddie's a great dad, he's got a decent support system, and Chris is a tough kid. But he's a tough kid who's been through a lot, and he doesn't seem very inclined to talk about it, at least not to Buck.

It's sort of a new issue for him, if he's honest. After he left his parents, he met people, made something like friends, but Eddie and Chris feel different, even from Bobby and Chim and Hen. They're coworkers, even if they're coworkers he likes and hangs out with outside of work. Eddie is a friend, probably his first, and Chris is too, just with an added layer of responsibility. He's never had to try to deal with a haunting for people like this because he's never had people like this. It's completely uncharted territory.

Eddie gave him a key about two weeks into their friendship, so he can just unlock the door when he arrives. "Hey, Diazes!" he calls.

Christopher is playing video games on the couch, and he perks up when he hears Buck, just like always. "Hi, Buck!"

Buck ruffles his hair. "Hey, buddy. Where's your dad?"

"Getting dressed!" Eddie calls from the other room. "Hi, Buck."

"Dang, Diaz. Almost two o'clock and you're not dressed yet?"

"Getting changed," Eddie corrects. "It's an interview, I want to make a good impression."

Buck sprawls on the couch next to Christopher, who's already started his game back up. "Is that really a thing in construction? The last time I did construction work I just walked onto a site and they put a hardhat on me and told me to get to work."

There's a pause, then Eddie comes out of his room, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket, and Buck's mouth goes a little dry. Eddie's a pretty casual kind of guy, most of the time, but he cleans up really nicely. Definitely going to make an amazing impression.

"Construction was yesterday, this is some temp agency."

"Temp agency?"

"Yeah, I figured it was worth signing up."

"You know you can't actually take all these jobs, right? There aren't enough hours in the day."

"I know. Just trying to figure out what's the best fit for us, you know?"

"Yeah. I still think you'd love being at the 118."

Eddie sighs. "I know. I really want that to work. But the long shifts…I'd have to figure out something for Chris. Not as easy as covering a 9 to 5. Especially not if I'm working the same long shifts you are and you can't help out."

"Better pay, though. And long breaks, too."

"I'm thinking about it," he promises. "Okay, I gotta go." He leans down to kiss Christopher's head. "I love you, be good for Buck."

"Love you too!" says Christopher, and Buck waves.

By now, he's gotten pretty used to being alone with Christopher. The first time, he was nervous; for all he loves kids, he doesn't actually have much experience with solo babysitting. But Chris is a great kid who's pretty good at keeping himself occupied. He doesn't want to do his homework, but he's still responsible about it, and if he wants Buck to do stuff with him, he'll tell him. All Buck really needs to do is hang out, and hanging out with Christopher is never a burden.

"So, what do you want to do today? Your dad said you're good on homework, so the world's your oyster."

"I don't want an oyster, Buck."

Buck grins. "Okay, well, the world's yours. We've got a couple hours. What do you think?"

"Maybe the park?"

"Park sounds awesome! Do you know how to get there? I haven't been there much."

"I can show you. But I need to go to the bathroom first."

Shannon doesn't follow him, lingering with Buck instead, and that has to mean something. Ghosts know he can talk to them, and Shannon has avoided being alone with him. Staying means she's ready to listen.

"Christopher is going to be fine," Buck tells her. "You don't have to worry about him. Eddie's got this. He's a great dad." She's still watching, like she's not convinced, and Buck swallows hard. "And he's got me too. I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

"Who are you talking to?" Christopher asks.

Buck smiles, watching Shannon's ghost lean down to kiss her son on his head, an echo of Eddie's earlier affection, before she drifts apart, whatever remains of her letting go and moving on to what comes next.

Even if she wasn't haunting him, Buck feels her leaving like a weight lifting off him. "Nobody. Ready to go?"

*

"So, that's the famous Eddie," says Chimney. He regards Eddie for a moment as he's talking to Bobby, then nods. "Yeah, I can see it."

"Famous?" asks Buck. "Who said he was famous?"

"You haven't shut up about him, Buckaroo," says Hen, clapping him on the shoulder. "I was wondering when we were going to meet him."

"I'm trying to convince Bobby that we should add him to the team. You know, on the show. I think he and I would work pretty well together."

"Huh," says Chim. "Well, it never hurts to have more eye candy. And you said he was in the army, right?"

"Yeah."

"Honestly, it's a pretty good idea," says Hen. "He'd probably pay for himself."

"Right? I knew it. Bobby's worrying over nothing."

"Looks like Eddie might be winning him over," Chimney observes, as Bobby grins at something they can't hear. "Where did you meet him again?"

"He's my neighbor. I tried to break into his apartment after a long shift because I thought it was mine."

"Wow, Buck, that's quite a meet-cute."

Buck shoots him a look, but Eddie is leaving Bobby and coming over, so he doesn't bother following up. Chim can make fun of him for having an awesome friend all he wants; once he gets to know Eddie, he'll get it.

"You want me on your show?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't we? This is the rest of the team: Chimney and Hen. Chim, Hen, this is Eddie Diaz. Former army medic, future firefighter and ghost hunter."

Eddie snorts, but he shakes hands with both of them. "I haven't agreed to anything yet. But if you're doing tryouts, I could give it a shot. I could use the extra money, as long as you don't care that I don't believe in ghosts."

"Not even a little?" Chim weedles. "I don't know if I can work with someone who doesn't believe at all."

Eddie glances at Buck, surprised. "You're a believer?"

"I exorcized your grandfather," Buck points out.

Chimney holds up a hand. "Wait, I thought he was your neighbor."

"Yeah, the grandfather thing is unrelated," says Buck.

"You didn't actually exorcize him," Eddie protests. "My grandmother just needed someone to talk to. You listened to her and made her feel better."

"And it helped, so I'd say that counts as an exorcism. I'm willing to believe there could be ghosts. They could be real."

"Huh. I thought that was all your parents."

"It was. But now I get to decide for myself, and I've decided I don't know."

"Which is not a decision," Hen puts in.

"Agnostic!" says Buck. "It's a thing. I am ghost agnostic and there's nothing wrong with that. But having someone who just doesn't believe would be good too! It'll add to the dynamic."

"You sure about that?" Eddie asks.

Buck grins. The thing is, he is pretty sure. He could already see it before, but as the cookout goes on, he just gets more and more confident. Eddie fits into this just as easily as he fit into Buck's life. He's a little nervous at first, not totally comfortable in a large group of people who all already know each other, but with Buck there to introduce him and tease him, he relaxes quickly enough. Especially once he sees how much fun Christopher is having hanging out with Harry and Denny.

This could really be good for them. Buck can only hope he's not visibly puffed up with pride.

As usual, once dinner is done, Buck rushes to help Bobby with the dishes, despite Bobby's repeated assurances that it's fine.

"I want to talk about Eddie anyway," he explains shamelessly. "What do you think?"

"He seems like a very nice young man."

"Yeah, and?"

Bobby sighs. "And you're right. I think he'd fit in and be an asset to the team."

"I knew it!"

"Don't get too carried away, he's not hired yet. But I'll talk to the producers. Let them know that we have someone we think would make a good addition, see what they say. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Eddie: I'm not making any promises. They might not even have the budget to add another person to the team."

"Hen said he'd pay for himself."

"Like I said, Buck, I'll do what I can. I think we've got a pretty good shot. But Eddie doesn't just have Eddie to worry about either. He's got his son. He needs to be sure this is something that will work for him, even if he wants it."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He did."

"See, he's responsible! I knew you'd like him."

Bobby laughs. "I do like him. He seems like a great guy. And I think we've got a pretty good shot at getting him a spot on the team. I just want you to keep your expectations in check."

"They're so checked, Bobby. You don't even know."

"Where can I put this?" Eddie asks, coming into the kitchen with a salad bowl.

"Right over here, Eddie. Thank you. You don't have to help."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to let Buck show me up," he says, not missing a beat, and Buck checks his hip against Eddie's automatically.

"Boys, don't fight," says Bobby, and there's no way this isn't going to happen.

It's going to be perfect.

*

When Buck's phone rings three days later in the grocery store with an unknown number, he assumes it's an update from the producers about the possibility of Eddie being added to the show, maybe them asking his opinion on it. He picks up and sticks the phone under his ear as he pushes the cart along, trying not to grin. "Hello?"

All it takes is one word for his heart to drop: "Evan."

He straightens up, his whole body going rigid. In one breath, he goes from relaxed, independent adult to scolded child.

He didn't even think they had his phone number.

"Dad."

"Reality television, Evan? Really?"

There's just as much disdain and disapproval in the voice as there was before, but Buck finds himself relaxing again anyway. His dad is somewhere else, doing whatever it is his dad does. Even if he came to LA, even if he found Buck, what could he do? Try to drag his adult son out of his apartment by force? Write a strongly worded letter to the network telling them to cancel Buck's show? They can't do anything to Buck, and he doesn't have to care if they approve of him or not.

"I thought it would be fun," he says.

"This is what you're doing with the gift your mother and I gave you." He's always talked about it like that, as if because he's Buck's father, he's solely responsible for every good thing Buck has ever done, like Buck isn't even a person in his own right. Just an extension of his parents.

"I mean, yeah," says Buck, grabbing a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. "Obviously this is what I'm doing. What, did you see a preview?"

There's a long pause. "Where are you, Evan?"

"Right now, I am at the grocery store. Then I'm having dinner with friends. What about you, Dad? What are you up to? Haven't heard from you in a while. How long's it been, five years?"

"We needed you, and you left us."

"Sorry you can't make as much money scamming scared and mourning people without me. I'm sure you're doing fine. I'm hanging up and blocking this number," he adds, before his dad can reply. "Don't call me again."

He does as promised, both the hanging up and the blocking, and then he rests his head on his shopping cart for three breaths as the adrenaline leaves him.

Maddie always told him they had a reason they acted the way they did. But she never told him what the reason was, and no one else did either. So he doesn't really see why it's on him to be the bigger person here. He doesn't owe them anything, not after a childhood spent being dragged around and used like a sideshow act. Any debt he had to them was repaid a long time ago.

He wasn't supposed to go to Eddie's until six, but he gets home and puts away his groceries and the idea of staying in his own apartment for another hour and change makes him want to chew on the walls. He's never told anyone about his parents, but Eddie kind of already knows, right? Not everything, but he's got a better idea than most people do. Buck can probably figure out a way to complain about some of it.

Mostly, he doesn't want to be alone, and as much as he loves Cosmo, she's not cutting it for company. He needs someone who will talk to him, instead of just swishing her tail and yawning like his problems are below her notice.

He grabs a six-pack and knocks on the Diaz door, smiling as he hears some thuds inside like Eddie was not prepared for guests. He opens the door sweaty, in a tanktop, and frowning, but it's still a really good look for him. Buck's not sure he has bad looks. He's going to devastate the LA dating scene whenever he's ready to get back in the saddle.

"Are you early or was I really in the zone?" Eddie asks.

"I'm early, sorry."

"It's fine," says Eddie, stepping out of the door and gesturing him in. "Chris isn't back yet but I'm almost done. Any particular reason you're…" He checks his watch and frowns. "Over an hour early?"

"My dad called and now I want to strangle someone."

"So you came to murder me? I wouldn't have led with that if I were you. Now I'm ready for it."

Buck has to smile; he knew he was coming to the right place. "I want to strangle him, but I'll settle for having a beer with you. Or having a beer near you while you finish your workout."

"Yeah, you get started and I'll get one when I'm done."

He returns to his mat to finish up whatever regime he's doing while Buck grabs a beer for himself and puts the rest in the fridge, then settles down in the chair nearest Eddie with a sigh.

"I still haven't figured out what the deal with your parents is," Eddie observes. "I don't remember them as well as I remember you from Texas, but they kind of seemed like your managers. And like assholes."

"Assholes definitely, managers kind of. All of that stuff, the exorcisms, the haunted houses, that was all them. I felt like a prop they pulled out to make themselves look legitimate."

"Yeah, but why?" says Eddie, with a grunt of frustration that seems to be about half from the workout and half from Buck's life. "I didn't think ghost hunters needed teenage mascots."

"I guess if you've got a kid, you have to do something with him."

"I have a kid, and I'd never bring him to haunted houses."

"I thought you didn't believe in haunted houses," Buck teases.

"It's not about believing or not believing. It's about how I treat Chris."

Buck swallows down on a strange surge of emotion. "I thought he might want to come. He seems like he thinks it would be cool."

Eddie snorts. "Yeah, he's really excited. If I get the job, and if he wants to come, he can walk around the sites. But I'm not bringing him to whatever we're doing at night. I'm already worried he'll have nightmares watching the show."

"You're going to let him watch?"

"Are you kidding? He loves you. He'd never forgive me if I didn't let him watch you nearly break your neck in an abandoned barn."

"We found a body in the first episode," Buck admits, mostly because he can't quite wrap his mind around Christopher loving him. "So be careful about letting him watch that."

Eddie nearly drops his weights, staring at Buck with wide-eyed horror. "A body?"

"Abandoned prison. I found it."

"An actual human body?"

"I'm not sure how much more clear I can be about this, Eddie."

"Did they give you counseling or something?"

Buck doesn't want to explain that he's seen plenty of corpses in his life for a lot of reasons, chief among them being that it's not going to make Eddie feel better about this whole situation. Instead, he says, "They probably would have, but honestly it was pretty old. Mostly bones. It's not like I found a recent murder victim or something. Just a squatter who no one else had ever found."

"Okay, well. I'll tell Chris we're starting with episode two."

"Three. It's a two-part premiere."

"Thanks for the head's up. Where were we?"

Buck tries to remember too. "My parents making me part of their whole ghost-hunting roadtrip."

"Yeah, that. I wouldn't do that to Chris, and I don't know how your parents could do it to you."

"Well, you're a good dad, and my parents suck. So that's probably a factor."

"I'm not even that good a dad. They just set the bar low."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short. You're doing an amazing job with that kid."

"I haven't always." He clears his throat before Buck can argue further. "And this isn't about me. What did your dad say when he called?"

Buck picks at the label on his beer bottle. "He's mad about the show. I guess he must have seen an ad or someone must have told him about it. I ran away because I didn't want to do that shit anymore for them, and now I'm doing it for TV. He says I'm being selfish."

"I think kids are supposed to grow up and do what they want," Eddie says. "That's kind of the whole point. They aren't supposed to do whatever you want forever."

"I am going to remind you that you said that when Chris starts hitting the teenage rebellion phase."

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Buck wants to stuff them back in. Chris won't be a teenager for six more years. Even if Eddie joins the show, there's a pretty good chance they won't run for that long. It's stupid of Buck to assume that Eddie's still going to want to be friends with him in six years. He'll have made new friends by then.

But all Eddie says is, "Please do. I'm already freaking out about that. I still can't believe how big he is." He puts his weights down and lets out a breath. "Okay, done. I'm going to jump in the shower before dinner. Don't burn down my apartment."

"Come on, you know I can put out any fires I start."

"Don't try it." He waves over his shoulder as he heads towards the bathroom, and Buck moves from the chair to the couch, sinking in like he could live here. Their apartments have the exact same layout, but somehow, he likes Eddie's so much more.

His phone buzzes, but when he checks it, it's just a text from Maddie: Did Dad try to rip you a new one?

Buck mulls over a few different responses before settling on, Can I call you?

Instead of answering, Maddie calls him. Buck picks up with a stupid grin. "He tried, yeah," he tells her, by way of greeting.

"I guess a former client is really into ghost-hunting shows. They saw you were on one and told Dad. He called me after you hung up on him."

Buck winces. "Sorry about that. What did he think you were going to tell him? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Neither did you," says Maddie firmly. "But he thought I knew."

"You did."

"I did," she agrees. "But not until after you signed up. I would have told you not to."

"It's been great! It's way more fun than doing it when I was a kid. And I think they're going to add my friend Eddie to the cast next season."

"Evan, you made a friend?" she asks, sounding genuinely delighted for him.

"Two friends, if you count his son. Which I do."

"How old is his son?"

"Seven. He's an amazing kid, Mads, you'd love him."

"Is the mom in the picture?"

Her tone is a little off, but Buck can't tell why without seeing her. "She passed away." He listens, making sure the shower is going, but still lowers his voice to add, "I helped her move on, actually."

"Oh, Evan," she says.

"What? She needed the help."

"I just worry about you."

"I have a job--two jobs--I have an apartment, I have a cat, I have friends. What's there to worry about?"

"You have a cat?"

"Kind of," he corrects. "It's complicated."

"Oh, so nothing else about your life has been complicated, but the cat is?"

The shower turns off. "I gotta go, Mads. I'm fine! Sorry Dad called you."

"It's fine."

"I still have a guest room. If you ever want to come visit, I'll buy you a ticket."

"I have money, Evan."

"In your own bank accounts?"

Eddie walks by in a towel on his way to his room, and Buck misses whatever Maddie says in response. "Sorry, what?"

"Thank you for worrying about me," she says, her voice soft. No wonder he didn't hear her. "But I'm the big sister. It's my job to worry about you."

"I think we can worry about each other. I told the producers I want us to do something in Massachusetts next season, I'll let you know if they say yes."

"It would be really great to see you."

"Yeah, you too. I'd even put up with Doug, if you wanted."

She laughs. "I wouldn't make you do that. I'll talk to you soon."

Eddie comes out of his bedroom, still toweling his hair dry. The timing is perfect enough that Buck suspects he was waiting to hear the call end.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"My sister. My parents called her. So, as okay as it can be."

"Was she their mascot before you were?"

"She's a lot older," Buck says, like that's an explanation. "By the time I was old enough to go out with them, she was going to college."

Eddie just shakes his head. "I still don't get it. How you could do that to your own kid. Why you'd do it."

Buck's chest twinges. "Yeah, I don't get it either."

Christopher comes home not long after, and he and Buck get started on dinner, since Eddie really is useless with cooking. Chris can't contribute that much, but he likes to measure, so Buck lets him do all the measuring, and he fills Buck in on his day and his plans for the next day and anything else that crosses his mind while they cook. It's one of Buck's favorite things.

Eddie steps out to take a call as Buck's getting the chicken into the oven.

"It's probably one of his jobs," Christopher says, watching him go. "I want him to work with you."

"Me too," Buck admits. "But he wants to be responsible and make sure you're taken care of. So even if I really, really want him to work with me, I know he's doing the right thing."

"I guess," says Christopher, with a sigh like it's a great concession.

Eddie comes back in a few minutes later, staring at his phone like he's in a trance.

"Everything cool, man?" Buck asks.

"That was your show," he says. "Our show, I guess. They offered me the part."

Buck drops his spoon. "And you said yes?"

"They told me how much they'd pay me and said they'd give me a stipend to get someone to watch Chris so yeah. I said yes."

Chris rushes over to hug him, and Buck kind of wants to too, but that would probably be weird. Eddie and Chris have one of those healthy parent/child relationships where they hug each other; Eddie and Buck have one of those guy relationships where Buck overthinks it every time he wants to touch Eddie.

At least he can give Eddie a huge grin. "That's awesome. I can't wait to work with you. That's really it? You're all set?"

"They're sending the contracts for me to sign tomorrow. I have to finish at the firefighter academy before a certain date, but as long as I do that, yeah. I'm in."

"Then I guess we'd better start studying," says Buck, and Eddie smiles.

"Yeah, I guess we'd better."

Chapter Text

"So, how did you explain to Christopher that he wasn't allowed to watch the first two episodes?" Buck asks Eddie. They're all at Bobby's place to watch the premiere, except for Chris, Hen's son Denny, and Athena's son Harry, who all had to be told they were too young for this one. Eddie had tried to protest that he didn't really belong at the party either, since he isn't on the show yet, but Buck wasn't having any of that. Eddie is part of the team now.

"He knows there's stuff that he's not old enough to watch yet," says Eddie with a shrug. "We talked and agreed that I'll watch the episodes first and some of them might have stuff he's too young for. He's trying to convince me to edit it down into some kind of Buck super cut if I don't think he can watch the whole episode? But I don't know what that means."

"Just my scenes," says Buck, puffing up with pride.

"Yeah, I can't do that. I can barely make videos I take on my phone shorter."

Buck can't say he's surprised that Eddie is technologically impaired. "I probably could. Can't be that hard."

"He'd love that."

Buck knocks his shoulder against Eddie's. "Then we'll figure it out."

He doesn't realize he actually has no idea what the show is going to look like until it's actually starting. He knows what they did, of course, remembers what the format is supposed to be, but somehow he just hadn't actually thought about watching himself and his team on a real TV.

Bobby does the intro, and the whole room cheers when he starts talking. It's actually hilarious, because Bobby is basically the least egotistical person Buck has ever met, and the more he gets to know him, the less he understands how Chim and Hen talked him into doing the show. He just looks completely embarrassed that everyone is hearing him talk.

He's good for the intro, though. His voice has a natural kind of gravity to it, and his solemn earnestness works well as he explains the background of the prison.

Buck had known, in theory, that Bobby did a walkthrough before they went on site, seeing the layout during the day so he'd be able to support the rest of the team when they're in there during the night. But he hasn't actually seen it before. It's a little weird, hearing Bobby ask questions as he and the caretaker walk around, like it's a piece of property he's thinking about buying.

"Wouldn't it be better if you all walked through?" Eddie asks, frowning at the TV. "Having just the guy who's not going in later doing it seems kind of unhelpful. No offense," he adds to Bobby.

"None taken. And I think it depends on what you're going for," says Bobby.

"Yeah. Not to blow anyone's mind, but I suspect our producers might be more interested in drama than actually hunting ghosts," Chim says dryly.

"Buck's parents did the same thing, though. When he was a kid."

Everyone's attention turns to Buck, and he tries not to squirm. It's not really Eddie's fault; he didn't ask to have privileged information about Buck's past.

Eddie doesn't seem to have expected it either. "Uh, they did, right? That's how it was with Abuela. Your parents came first to find out what was going on, and then they brought you in to actually do the work."

"I forgot you knew Buckaroo way back when," says Chim, like Buck hasn't been purposefully avoiding them giving any more information about his and Eddie's history than he has to. "What was he like? I always picture him in a suit and tie, like one of those folk healer kids."

"Surprisingly normal," says Eddie. "Just like any other teenager. He looked like his parents were dragging him along on a boring vacation when he wanted to stay home."

Buck keeps his attention on the TV, as if Bobby seeing solitary confinement is really important and meaningful. There's something about knowing that he left an impression on Eddie back then, that Eddie had opinions of him, that makes him feel like his skin is too small. All he really remembers about Eddie is that he looked kind of annoyed. He should have realized there was more to him. There should have been a neon arrow pointing to Eddie to say this one's special, you should pay attention to him.

"You really didn't go far into the cell blocks, huh, Cap?" he asks Bobby, the world's least subtle subject change.

Bobby gives it to him. "No, we didn't think we needed to. Honestly, I think the caretaker was afraid of them. He didn't want to go back there."

"You think he knew about the body?" Hen asks. "And didn't tell us?"

"I didn't get that impression. I think the whole place just freaked him out."

It makes sense to Buck. That ghost probably made the place seem even more uninviting and creepy, possibly without meaning to. The bad vibes alone would have kept the caretaker from wanting to go very far in.

Buck appears after the first commercial break, and he kind of hates watching himself. He doesn't listen to his own voice much, and the way it sounds out of his head is so much worse than he ever remembers, too high and excited. He looks like a kid on the first day of school, nervous and trying to hide it with bravado.

But Chimney wolf-whistles, "Looking good, Buck," and Hen pats him on the knee like he did a great job. So at least there's that.

He's the last of the team to do his intro, and once it's done, the camera is back on him as he "secures" the base camp for Bobby. It's a little ridiculous, seeing himself using the EMF to check the place out, like the biggest danger in the rotting security office is ghosts and not, like, mildew in the walls or something, but that's what he signed up for.

Eddie leans in close, private. "Very cool."

"It'll be you and me doing this next season," Buck shoots back.

"Can't wait."

Buck doesn't have many strong memories of the shoot, aside from finding the ghost and Cosmo, and everything else just happened after that, so he also doesn't have a great sense of how out-of-order everything is. Hen and Chim seem to have written down an actual timeline, though, so they give running commentary on that, apparently fascinated by the ins and outs of editing choices.

It's fun, but every commercial break teases the shocking ending, and Buck is getting impatient. They're making it into such a big deal, and he just wants to get it over with.

When they finally do, it's not what he was expecting. Watching it from his own perspective, with his own camera, it's so much creepier than it felt at the time. Of course, at the time, he'd had the ghost to distract him, but he can't actually see her in the episode. It's just him, walking to the end of a long hallway, looking down and seeing a corpse.

"Damn, Buck," Eddie breathes.

"You really didn't make it sound that bad," says Hen. "You were so cool about it."

To be fair, he'd been expecting it, on some level. He knew he was going to find something back there, even if he didn't know what. "Glad I went there early in the shoot," he says, his voice steady. "I would have been way more freaked out at two a.m."

"The editors deserve a raise," Chimney puts in. "They freaked Buck out more than the actual body did."

"Did anyone ever tell you who she was?" Athena asks. "Did the police follow up?"

"Not with me," says Buck. He hadn't really been worried about it; he had a pretty good idea of what happened, anyway.

"The producers probably found out," Bobby says, nudging Athena with a small, private smile. Buck likes watching them in a way he doesn't want to examine too closely. His parents never seemed to have a bad marriage--if nothing else, they seemed to like being married way more than they liked having children--but he'd never really thought of them as in love. Mostly, it felt like they were on one team and he and Maddie were on a different one. But seeing marriages like Bobby and Athena's and Hen and Karen's, it was easy to think that maybe it doesn't have to be like that, like you could be married and really in love and still care about other people. Like maybe relationships could actually be good, instead of just varying degrees of shitty.

Which is a dangerous thing to think, because all of his relationships so far have been on the shitty side. Not that he's had many that lasted more than the time it took them to have sex. But that's its own kind of shitty.

"I bet they'll have something at the end of the second episode," says Chim, sipping his beer. "Some epilogue text about if they found anything. Or an RIP Jane Doe if they can't get anything more than that."

"It was a pretty good episode," Athena's daughter offers. "I'm not really into this kind of show, but they did a good job with editing. And all of you guys are fun."

Bobby gives her a nod of appreciation. "Thank you, May."

"You can't let Harry watch, though. He'll either be afraid and won't admit it, or he'll get way too into it and start trying to hunt ghosts around the neighborhood."

"Knowing Harry, it would probably be both," says Athena. "But May's right, it was a nice show. Fun. Except for the body. But I assume those won't be a regular occurrence."

Hen shakes her head. "Probably not real ones, but if this goes over well, I bet they'll get some dummies and ask us to fake it."

"Undoubtedly," Chim agrees. He looks over at Eddie. "And what did you think? Still want to join us next season?"

"Better than Buck finding bodies alone," is all he says, and Buck feels like he's glowing. Like everyone must be able to see it.

But if they can, none of them bring it up.

Eddie gave him a ride, so they leave together. On the drive back, they discuss a possible Christopher edit, but it's hard to know exactly what they'd need to leave in at this point, so whatever they do will have to wait until after the next episode. Still, they can agree that he's certainly not seeing Buck finding the body for at least five years, if ever.

Chris's new caretaker, Carla, had him for the evening, and the plan had been for them to go to the movies and then be waiting for Eddie at home. But when the elevator doors open, she's right there in the hallway, with no sign of Christopher. Eddie goes from relaxed and joking to stiff as a board like someone flipped a switch.

"Is he--" is all Eddie gets out before she's holding up her hands.

"He's fine. He just wanted to wait out here with Maddie."

It's Buck's turn to tense, his heartbeat going into overdrive as he looks over Carla's head and down the hall. They're sitting on the floor next to Buck's door, Chris small and a little shy, looking at the floor, Maddie watching him with a smile Buck recognizes from when he was Chris's age.

"Your sister, right?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah."

"You weren't expecting her."

He shakes his head, not sure what to say. He hasn't seen her for so long. He hasn't known how to help her. But here she is. She finally came.

Eddie pushes the small of his back, just hard enough to get Buck's feet working, and he stumbles only a little as he starts walking towards them.

Maddie sees him first, but he just smiles at her before crouching down to greet Chris. "Hey, bud. Were you taking care of my sister?"

"I didn't want her to be alone."

"I know she really appreciates it." He swallows hard. "Hey, Mads."

"Hi, Buck. Christopher told me everyone calls you Buck now," she adds, with a smile. "I'm trying to get used to it."

"Yeah, pretty much everyone does. Sorry to keep you waiting, but we can go in now. Chris, you ready to go home?"

"Yeah."

Eddie leans down to pick him up, and Maddie stands as he does. "You must be his dad."

Eddie juggles Chris so he can offer his hand. "Yeah, Eddie Diaz. You're Maddie?"

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of my brother."

"Is that how he tells it?" Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows at Buck.

"That's how Christopher tells it."

"He's not wrong," says Buck. "I've got a shift tomorrow, but I'll see you the day after, right?" he adds, to Chris.

"Yeah!"

"Thanks again for sitting with me, Christopher," says Maddie. "Goodnight."

He waves over Eddie's shoulder, and Buck and Maddie watch and wait until they're in their apartment before they hug.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he tells her. "You could have called."

"I was thinking about it, but then Christopher came home and told me where you were. That kid adores you, Ev--Buck."

"The feeling's mutual. He's a great kid." He finds his keys and gets the door open. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? You can put your..." The words die as he really takes her in. "You didn't bring anything." She has a bag and a backpack. That's it.

"No," she admits. "I didn't want him to know I was leaving."

It's not worse than he thought, but being right isn't a comfort in this case. He wishes he'd been overreacting. It would be so much better to be wrong.

"Okay, well, uh, I'm working a 24-hour shift tomorrow. But I can get you Eddie's key and you can make yourself a copy. Do you need money? For clothes and stuff? I can get an Uber to work, you can take the jeep..."

She hugs him again, a little too tight. "I'm fine. I promise."

"You still need clothes," he says. "I can go get Eddie's key right now, you don't have to stay here all day tomorrow. He won't mind."

"He seems like he's a really good friend," Maddie says, watching him with a thoughtful expression.

"Yeah. I've never really had a best friend before. It's kind of great."

"If you're sure he won't mind, that would be helpful," she says at last.

"Yeah, no problem! You relax. Have a seat on the couch, turn on the TV if you want. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

Buck knocks softly but doesn't wait for a response before he unlocks Eddie's door. Chris was up a bit later than planned, but he probably won't actually be sleeping yet. The sound of people in the bathroom confirms, and he waits for Eddie to stick his head out, toothbrush in mouth, before he explains, "Just grabbing your key for Maddie."

"I told you you needed another spare."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get her to make two copies tomorrow and get it back to you."

"No problem. She doing okay?"

"No idea, honestly."

Christopher's head sticks out from the bathroom door under Eddie's. "Buck?"

"Yeah?"

"She was crying."

His heart sinks. "She was?"

"Yeah. I didn't tell her I saw. I don't like it when people I don't know see me crying."

He'd hug Chris, but there's still toothpaste on his mouth, so that might be messy. "That's exactly right, buddy. You did perfect."

He nods and bobs back into the bathroom.

"You can give her my number," Eddie says. "I know you're working tomorrow, but I'll be around after six if she needs anything."

"I'll tell her. Thanks."

Buck gets his key off Eddie's key ring, calls goodnight to Christopher, and heads back to his own apartment to find Maddie on the couch with Cosmo in her lap.

"You know, when you said you had a cat, I assumed you meant you adopted a stray or something."

"I kind of did. I got her in Oregon. She belonged to the ghost. I honestly wasn't sure you'd be able to see her."

"She kind of…flickers? Sometimes I can see her really clearly and then sometimes she just completely disappears. But that's pretty normal for cats, from what I've heard."

"I think so, yeah." He keeps his focus on Cosmo when he asks, "Do you need to talk about it?"

"You already know."

"Not really. I know he didn't like me and I didn't like him. I know he didn't treat you well. But I don't know what you're feeling."

Maddie leans her head on his shoulder. "You've really grown up since you left home."

"I'm trying. I want to help, Maddie. I've never known how."

"It was hard," she admits. "This isn't your fault, but I knew all of you didn't like him. So I thought if I left and went back to Mom and Dad, I never would have heard the end of it."

"Yeah. And you knew if you came to me, it would be just as bad."

"Hey, no. I knew you'd be happy I left, not smug. Or even mad that I married him. But you have to admit, you didn't exactly have a great place to host someone until recently. And I don't know. The longer I stayed, the more I felt like I couldn't leave. That I was already ruined, and leaving wouldn't fix anything."

"You're not ruined, Maddie." He squeezes her shoulders. "You can stay here for as long as you like. I've got plenty of room. As long as you don't mind the cat and Christopher. They're non-negotiable."

"He comes over a lot?"

"I have a Playstation and he doesn't. So if he wants to play that, he comes over. If he's playing his Switch, we're at Eddie's."

It feels like she's on the verge of saying something, probably about how Buck shouldn't get too attached. Like it isn't already too late, like he doesn't already know at some point they'll be done with him and break his heart. Eddie will get a better support system, Christopher will grow up. Life will happen, and they'll leave him behind.

"You want to take a shower?" he asks, before she can say anything else. "Or just go to bed?"

"A shower would be nice. Thank you, Evan."

He doesn't correct her, just smiles. "You're welcome. I'm really glad you're here."

*

It's weird, learning to live with Maddie again. It's nothing like it was before, when she was his annoying big sister who hogged the bathroom and always seemed to leave a trail of unidentified things in her wake, even when she wasn't holding anything. He's always loved her, and she'd been his only ally against their parents, but they still butted heads.

This Maddie cleans every dish as soon as she's done with it. She puts her shampoo and conditioner under the sink when she's done in the shower, like she doesn't want to leave any trace of herself. She flinches at loud noises, and Buck's pretty sure she has nightmares. And she doesn't talk about any of it, nor does she really say anything when he asks. Which he assumes means he shouldn't ask, but it's hard to be sure. Maybe it means he needs to push harder.

He and Christopher go to the library on his first 24-off after she arrives, and Buck asks the librarian for books about domestic abuse while Chris focuses on dinosaurs and space and, if he's lucky, dinosaurs in space. The librarian has a lot of suggestions for DV, which is both nice but also kind of depressing, and Buck lies and tells Chris that they're about taxes, mostly because he's afraid that if he says they're to help Maddie, Chris might want to read them. Since he's the one who found her in the hall, he's a little bit protective.

Buck loves that, but he's pretty sure Chris would be better off making her a card.

Chris is excited about one of his dinosaur books and wants to read it right away, which sounds like a great afternoon to Buck. He grabs Why Does He Do That?, which was the librarian's highest recommendation, and settles in on the couch with Chris's head in his lap, where he stays, give or take a bathroom break, until Eddie gets home from the academy.

"Good books?" he asks. He has groceries, and Buck disentangles himself from Christopher to help unload them.

"Yeah!" says Chris, following them into the kitchen. "Did you know..."

New dinosaur facts get them through unpacking groceries, and then Chris thankfully goes off to play video games so Buck can lean against the counter and ask, "Can I leave some books here?"

"Sure. Why?"

"I don't want Maddie to see them. But I don't want Chris to see them either, so I need to hide them somewhere."

Eddie considers this. "Why don't you just stash them under your mattress like everyone else?"

"It's not porn!" he protests in a hissed whisper.

"Okay, what is it?"

Buck grabs up his bag and pulls out The Gift Of Fear. Eddie takes one look and comprehension dawns.

"Okay, yeah. We can put them in my room."

"Thanks."

Buck hasn't actually been into Eddie's bedroom before, but he tries to be a normal amount of interested in it. It's a pretty unremarkable room, all things considered, minimally decorated and impersonal. The only real personal touches are pictures, two on the dresser and one on the nightstand, all of Christopher. The one on the nightstand is him and Eddie together, and the dresser has one of Chris and his mom and one of just Chris. It's not a bad room, but…

"Have you thought about putting up, like, one poster?" Buck suggests.

Eddie opens up the closet and pulls down a box of spare bed sheets. "Here, you can put them in this. And just come in here and get them whenever you want."

"Thanks."

Eddie leans against the wall. "How's she doing?"

"I don't really know. She's really quiet. I don't know what to say to her. Whatever I do feels like it's too late. I should have gotten those books years ago. Maybe I could have helped more."

"It's not your fault."

"It's not her fault either."

"I"m pretty sure it's his fault. Her ex. He's the abusive asshole, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Buck," he says, his voice gentler than Buck can remember hearing, even with Christopher. "She's, what, ten years older than you?"

"Eight."

"You must have been a kid when they got together."

"And?"

"And you didn't do anything wrong. It's not Chris's job to protect me from bad relationships, and it wasn't yours to protect your sister."

"Abusers alienate people. From their families. And I let him do it."

"Look, she came to you. That means she knew he didn't scare you off. You're right, it's probably a good idea to do some reading now, but don't beat yourself up about not doing it ten years ago." He gives Buck's shoulder a gentle shake. "You're good at this stuff. Don't overthink it."

"At some point, you have to stop giving me credit for making your grandmother feel better in high school."

"Okay, how about giving you credit for the last couple of months? Chris loves you. You're great with him."

"He's a great kid."

"He is. But it really hasn't been that long since he lost his mom. He wouldn't be doing this well if he didn't have you."

It's true, but not for the reason Eddie thinks it is. Buck was the one who got Shannon's ghost to stop hanging over Chris's shoulder like a cloud of grief, the same way he got Eddie's grandfather to leave. Anyone could do it, if they could see ghosts.

"I guess," is all he says.

"I wouldn't either," Eddie adds, to his surprise.

"You?"

"You babysit for me," says Eddie, counting off on his fingers. "Help Chris with his homework. Cook dinner sometimes. Hell, you got me a job. Seriously, Buck. I already can't remember what I did without you."

"Oh," says Buck, just barely.

"I gotta go make dinner. Unless you want to stay."

"You're not making dinner if I'm staying?"

"If you're staying, you should cook."

He considers. "Can I invite Maddie?"

"Sure. And Buck?"

"Yeah?"

"It hasn't even been a week. Give her some time."

Buck bites back on a smile. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Eddie."

*

Maddie joins them for the second-episode watch party, to Buck's immense relief. He doesn't really know what she's doing with her time, but she's usually in his apartment from what he can tell. The only times he's sure that she leaves are with him, and so far that's been for groceries (once) and to go to Eddie's for dinner (twice). She has clothes, so she must have bought some, but...

Intellectually, he knows Eddie's right, and it's only been a week. But he thinks it would be good for her to have some friends, and he thinks he has some good ones. He'd be happy to share.

"So, what happened in the first episode?" Maddie asks. "I missed it."

"Your brother found a body," says Chim.

"He told me about that."

"That was really the only plot point. Did you help with the ghost hunting when you were kids?" he asks. Chim seems a little more curious about Maddie than Buck was expecting, but Maddie seems fine, so he's trying to let it go. "Or was that just Buck?"

"I did some, but our parents thought Buck was better at it. So once he was old enough, I was pretty much off the hook."

"What makes a kid good at ghost hunting?" Hen asks. "What kind of parents think that?"

"The Buckleys," says Buck, raising his beer. Of course, he was good at it. But they had to figure that out, and they had to decide to take advantage of it instead of just letting him be a kid. If Eddie found out Christopher could see ghosts, or Hen found out Denny could, they wouldn't be on the road selling their kids' abilities to the highest bidder. They'd probably just be trying to help their kids grapple with all of that.

"They were always really into the supernatural stuff," Maddie says, her voice careful, as if she's trying to measure out exactly the right amount of truth and not a word more. Buck's probably as curious about what that will be as anyone else in the room. "We'd go to haunted houses and try to find stuff before he was born, but they didn't really start getting a reputation for it until they brought Buck. He's really good at talking to people."

"Sometimes," says Buck.

"Yeah, I remember my grandmother heard about him through word of mouth," Eddie puts in. "A friend of a friend said her cousin in Albuquerque talked to some gringo boy and he got the angry spirit out of her kitchen."

Buck hides a smile in his beer. He remembers the kitchen poltergeist in Albuquerque, a woman who died at almost 100 and was mad that the new owners of her house had remodeled. He'd ended up having to walk her through every single new appliance that had been bought since she died in the seventies, to assure her that the kitchen was actually doing better, and even then she wouldn't move on until the family got an espresso machine.

"So what do you do for work, Maddie?" Bobby asks, with a glance at Buck like he knows Buck wants this conversation to be over. "If you're out of the ghost-hunting business."

"I was a nurse," she says. "But I'm not sure I want to go back to that. I worked in the ER and it was…I just don't know if that's where I want to be. But it might be nice to be working again."

"I can put you in touch with my temp agency," Eddie says. "Not that I actually ever worked with them, but they seemed pretty good."

"And there are other jobs in emergency services and healthcare, if you'd like to stay under that umbrella," Athena says. "The 9-1-1 dispatch is always looking for people who can stay calm in a crisis."

"And, you know," says Chim, "if you want to get back in the ghost-hunting business, we have a show for that."

That makes her laugh, and Buck feels some kind of way about it. Chim's always cracking jokes, and some of them even land, but he looks pleased with himself now, like making Maddie laugh is better than usual.

It probably is. Maddie hasn't been laughing enough lately.

The second episode isn't as exciting as the first, in Buck's opinion. There's a lot of far-off footage of the cops checking the scene, taking away the body, and then a few interviews with them about who the woman is and what she might have been doing there. As Buck already knew, she wasn't an inmate, just a squatter, someone in a bad spot who needed a place to stay and didn't end up surviving. He's almost surprised the producers didn't come up with a more exciting backstory for her, but the police probably wouldn't have approved.

Shifting back into the team wandering around with their various overpriced ghost-hunting gizmos after that is a bit of an adjustment. Hen and Chim picked up some kind of ominous strings of words on the spirit box, and Buck went to a few more places, which again, look much creepier on the weird night-vision camera he used than they did when he was just walking around on his own. People who like ghost-hunting shows will probably still like it, even without the wow factor of the first episode.

And he thinks they'll like it better once he has Eddie with him. He talks to Bobby on the comms, and Chim and Hen sometimes, but his solo explorations aren't nearly as fun as Hen and Chimney bickering with each other. He and Eddie can definitely do that.

Athena gives Maddie the number for someone she knows at dispatch before they leave, and Bobby makes sure to invite all three of them to the cookout they're having in a couple weeks. Chim lingers by the door to say goodbye like he wants to do a gesture of his own, but all he ends up with is saying he hopes Maddie is back for the next viewing party.

Buck drove this week, and Eddie insists on Maddie taking the front seat, even though his legs are longer, and it feels kind of like high school. Maddie had already been gone by the time he was learning to drive, but it still feels like he's being evaluated somehow. Like they're both grading him on some rubric he hasn't seen.

"Let me know if you want me to talk to Chim," he says, and he can see both of them turning to look at him like he's a crazy person out of the corner of his eye.

So, not only being graded, but failing. He soldiers on anyway. "Just if you want him to back off, or whatever."

"Back off?"

"If you don't want to be friends."

"I thought the whole point of you bringing me to that was for me to make friends," she teases.

Eddie is still silent, and now Buck's in a fun-house mirror version of his own childhood, the parent talking in the front seat instead of the kid listening silently from the back.

"I just wanted to make sure you were good," says Buck firmly. "That's all."

"I'm good. He was nice. Everyone was nice." Her pause feels deliberate, so he's not surprised when she adds, "And he was cute."

"Chim?"

"Not your type?" she asks, all innocence.

"I think he's a little old for me," says Buck, although he isn't even that old, now that Buck thinks about it. He's just…Chim.

"Well, I'm older than you."

The conversation dies a natural and not even particularly awkward death, and Eddie gives Maddie the number for his temp agency before he says goodnight, so that's probably fine. He also texts Buck Try not to worry too much basically as soon as his door is closed, which makes him smile. It's never bad advice.

"I do appreciate you worrying about me," Maddie says softly, as he's feeding Cosmo. The cat still doesn't need to eat, from what Buck can tell, but she seems to enjoy it. "But I'm good, really. It's nice to be around people. And sometimes, I'm going to be around people who want to flirt with me."

"He's a great guy. If you ever, um…if you wanted that, I'd be good. But I know you're still…"

"I'm not looking for anything yet," she confirms. "But if he asks, I can tell him that myself. I don't need you to do it."

"Okay. And you know if you want to get a job, you should get a job, but don't worry about it. I'm doing really well, you don't need to pay me rent or anything. I'm totally set."

"You are doing well, aren't you?" she asks, a smile playing on her lips. "It's kind of hard to believe."

"Hey!" he says, making his tone much more outraged than he actually feels.

"You told me you'd settled down a lot of times. Every time you found something new, it was the thing. Your calling."

"Yeah," he admits.

"I wasn't expecting your actual thing to involve ghosts," she teases.

"Really? I kind of was. It would be a waste, right? If I could do this and I didn't. If I can help people and I don't."

Maddie studies him for a long moment. "And are you? Helping people."

"Not as much as I'd like," he admits. "I want to! And I think...if it gets popular, and people start watching, I can make a name for myself. And help more."

"You already had a name for yourself. If this was what you wanted to do..."

"I couldn't do it with them. You know that. They were always chasing monsters. They didn't want to help people. I had to beg them to let me work on regular hauntings."

"I know."

"You know why," he says, half-accusing. "Right? You do."

"Some of it."

"But you won't tell me."

Maddie lets out a long breath. "I want to convince them to tell you themselves. Honestly, I still don't really get it. I can't give you answers because I don't have them either. It's like I'm trying to put together a puzzle with only half the pieces."

"You think you can convince them?"

"I told them that I thought if you told them what I know, you'd want to help. But they think you'll be mad."

He frowns. "I'm already mad. I left. How much worse do they think it can get?"

"I don't know. I wish I knew what they were thinking."

"They're thinking that they didn't want a kid, they wanted a robot. Someone who would always listen to them and do exactly what they told him to." And he'd tried that, honestly. He really had. But it still hadn't been enough.

"You might be right."

"Could I help them?" he asks at last. "If I wanted to, do you think I could? Because they had me for like twenty years, and they never found what they were looking for."

"I honestly don't know. I don't know if there's anything to find."

"Okay. Sorry," he adds. "Whatever this is, I know it's not your fault. Even if you know more about it than I do."

"It's not yours either," Maddie shoots back, and Buck remembers Eddie saying the same thing.

"Just theirs."

"Exactly. The show is nice," she adds. "I'm glad it's something you like."

"Making the best of it," Buck agrees.

"You're making it good, Evan."

He has to smile. "I'm trying to."

*

Buck used to go out to bars a lot. Most nights, really, because what else was he going to do? It used to be that he was already at the bar, back when he was a bartender, but even when he did other jobs, going out every night was kind of his default.

He's not totally sure when that changed, if he's honest. It's been happening gradually, as his schedule changed, as he had more things going on. First it was the filming, then getting used to shifts with the 118, then Eddie and Chris, and finally Maddie. Going out still happens sometimes, but it's shifted into a social activity with people he knows instead of one with people he doesn't.

Which makes sense, really. He used to need to meet people, and now he just has them. He's still not sure how to feel about it. Obviously he loves having friends, but he's still a young, single guy, right? And he misses, well, sex. He used to have a lot of it, and now it's been him and his hand for the longest stretch since he lost his virginity in the first place.

"You ever, like, go out?" he asks Eddie. It's Saturday and he has no plans tonight. In theory, he could go to a bar. Instead, he's on Eddie's couch, already one beer in.

"Sure."

"To find dates?"

"Oh. Then no."

"Never?"

"I'm not very good at that."

He kicks Eddie's foot. "Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not?"

"I mean, you're a cool guy. You're attractive. Which part are you bad at?"

"I had one serious girlfriend. Who I got pregnant, married, abandoned, came home to, got abandoned by, tried to reconcile with, and failed. And then she died. At what point in that timeline were you thinking I had game?"

"Born with it, obviously."

"Yeah, definitely not. Why?"

"Thought you might be a good wingman."

"No. Not at all."

"That's even better!"

Eddie gives him the mother of all dubious looks. "Really."

"I can be a good wingman for you. Uh, whenever you're ready to get back out there, obviously. I don't really know how long that takes."

"Getting over your wife dying?" he asks, vaguely bitter, but not really at Buck, it doesn't seem. Just kind of at the world.

"Getting over anyone. I've never really had, like, a relationship relationship."

"How much relationship does it need to be to get the second relationship?"

"More than a week? Hell, most of the time I didn't even get a full night."

"Really?"

He sounds surprised, which isn't the reaction Buck usually gets to that statement. No one's ever expected him to be anyone's boyfriend, himself included. He never had trouble finding someone to hook up with, and, for years, he'd told himself that was the only reason to be in a relationship, anyway. The rest was just stuff you had to do to get the sex.

But he's old enough to admit that he thinks he'd like the other stuff too, now. That it might be nice.

"Yeah. I'm not relationship material."

Eddie stares at him. "Wait, you're serious."

"Uh, obviously."

"Buck, come on."

"What?"

"When's the last time you tried dating someone?"

"It's been a while," he admits.

Eddie doesn't respond, just keeps staring at him, waiting for him to break. It must be a genetic thing for Diazes; Chris does the same thing, and Buck always caves.

"I think I was twenty-two. I asked her on a date, she said we could just hook up in the bathroom. And we did. So that worked out."

After another long silence, Eddie sighs. "Okay, well. I'm not saying I'm an expert. I already told you my entire relationship history. But you seem like the total package. Don't sell yourself short."

"Uh, you think?" he asks. Eddie's not allowed to say things like the total package and not elaborate.

"Yeah."

"I think you'd actually be a pretty good wingman," Buck says, nudging him. "If you talk me up like that."

"There's absolutely no way I'm going to a bar with you. But maybe you should try looking for people somewhere other than a bar. Might have more luck finding someone who wants a real relationship if they're not doing body shots off you."

"See, that doesn't sound real to me. Someone just seeing me and thinking, yeah, that guy. I could date that guy."

"I thought that," says Eddie.

He says it so fucking casually. A verbal shrug. Not even like he's winning the argument. Just a statement of fact.

"Uh, sorry, what?"

"Back in high school," he clarifies. "You were my bisexual awakening."

"Uh," says Buck, his brain still scrambling. "Cool? Thanks? But that sounds pretty physical, you know?"

"Are you arguing with me about my coming out experience?" Eddie asks, although he sounds more amused than offended.

"No! No. Definitely not. But you didn't know me, right?" He frowns. "You definitely didn't like me! You were pissed off the whole time."

"I didn't want to like you. You were grifting my abuela."

"Oh," says Buck. It's kind of hard to argue the point. From teenage Eddie's point of view, a guy--a hot guy, apparently--showed up at his house claiming to be an exorcist, took his grandmother's money, and then did nothing but talk to her for a while. "So if she hadn't felt better, you wouldn't have been into me?"

"I would have been more pissed about it. And I probably wouldn't have wanted to date you. But you were obviously a good guy, Buck. Even back then. And I told myself it was probably mostly your parents doing the grifting, so it was okay. And I was right."

"You were, yeah."

Eddie claps him on the shoulder. "Anyway, I think you're selling yourself short. You've got a lot to offer. If you want a relationship, I think you can get one. And it kind of seems like you want one."

It's a clear and decisive end to the you were my bisexual awakening in high school conversation, which sucks, because Buck wants to talk about that forever. Eddie liked him. Eddie, who is smart and cool and a great dad and stupid hot, looked at Buck when he was an awkward kid sweating in the Texas heat and liked him despite his better judgement.

It's incredible.

But it's probably also kind of embarrassing.

"Thanks for telling me that," he tells Eddie, offering him a smile. "Honestly, it's probably the most flattering thing anyone has ever told me in my entire life."

Eddie seems to cycle through a few possible responses before he settles on, "You're welcome."

"So, uh, if we ever do go out and I want to wingman you, I should be looking at guys too?"

"I don't want you trying to set me up."

For a wild moment, Buck wants to ask if he's still interested. If he doesn't want to go out on dates because Buck's here, and he still thinks he's hot and not a grifter after all these years. If Eddie would go out with him, if he asked.

But Eddie had kept the whole thing firmly in the past tense, and Buck isn't asking him out. He's straight. So he sips his beer and asks Eddie how his training is going, and when Eddie asks if he's going out after dinner, Buck just smiles and says, "Nah, I'm good here."

Chapter Text

A couple days before filming for season two starts, Buck and Eddie finally manage to coordinate a day for Eddie's grandmother to make them all dinner. Isabel has been trying to set that up ever since Eddie mentioned to her in passing that he'd met Buck again, but scheduling was a total nightmare. Now that Eddie is done at the academy and picking up shifts with the 118, it's actually a little easier. They're working the same schedule, more or less. Their free time lines up a lot better.

"Do I need to dress up?" Buck asks, on their way to the locker room.

"Well, I wouldn't wear that," says Eddie, nodding to his uniform.

"Very helpful, thanks."

"Date night?" Chim asks.

"Dinner with Abeula," says Buck. "She wants to thank me again for helping her husband cross over."

"I did not know that was a perk we got."

"Yeah, this is actually a first for me too."

"I think to get that perk, you have to actually help someone," Eddie tells Chim. "So far, I haven't seen that on the show."

"Harsh but fair." Chimney studies him with a slight frown. "So, you don't believe in ghosts, but you do believe that Buck helped your grandmother."

"Yeah," says Eddie, as if he has no idea why anyone might think these two ideas are contradictory.

"How?" Chim prods, when it becomes clear that no further explanation is forthcoming.

"Because he did help her. Whatever she needed, she got from him. Doesn't have to be about ghosts."

And he thought I was hot, Buck does not say. It's been threatening to burst out of him at stupid times ever since Eddie told him, even when it's only tangentially related to the subject at hand. Even when it's not related at all. He wants to tell everyone in the entire world that Eddie Diaz had a crush on him when they were kids, and he deserves so much credit for not having told anyone.

"So I want to continue that good impression with an appropriate outfit," he says instead. "But Eddie won't tell me what to wear."

"Your normal clothes are fine. Don't worry about it."

Chimney is looking between them again, a crease in his brow. "Is it just going to be the three of you?"

"And Chris," says Buck. "Obviously."

"Obviously," Chim agrees.

Buck drove them in today, and he spends the drive back to their building quizzing Eddie on anything that he might somehow fuck up during this meal, until Eddie definitely starts lying about family traditions to mess with him.

"I just want her to like me!" he says. "What's wrong with that?"

"She invited you for dinner because she already likes you. Also, how often are you planning to hang out with my abuela?"

"As often as she invites me."

"Oh, be careful with that. She's going to love you. If she had her way, we'd be over for dinner every week."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Not a bad thing. But you saw how hard scheduling this was. I don't want her to start guilt-tripping you."

"It sounds kind of nice," Buck admits. "Having family who actually wants to spend time with you."

There's a beat, and then Eddie laughs. "Wow, okay. Now I feel like an asshole. You're right, it's nice. But there's such a thing as too much of a good thing."

"And I would love to experience that. So you can tell me how to make Abuela absolutely love me."

"Just be yourself, Buck. You don't have anything to worry about."

Of course, Eddie's right. Buck remembers Isabel better than he remembered Eddie, since he spent more time with her, and she still sees him as her savior. She wants to hear everything about Buck's life, says she's been watching the show and loving it, but can't wait for Eddie to be there so they can take care of each other. She sends them home with boxes of leftovers, but only once all three of them have promised that they'll do this again soon.

"Wow. So that's what it's like having a grandmother," says Buck, looking down at the food in his lap.

"You don't have one?" Chris asks.

"My parents had me when they were a lot older," says Buck. "And their parents were older when they had them too. By the time I was born, I just had one grandfather left, and he died when I was younger than you."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah. And if I have kids, they won't have grandparents either. Well, not on my side."

"What happened to your parents?" Chris asks.

"They're not good parents. They don't love me. So we don't talk. I don't know if we're ever going to talk again."

"Why don't they love you? You're Buck!"

He wants to laugh, but it gets a little caught in his throat and doesn't come out right. "Yeah, I don't know. They wanted me to do something for them, and I couldn't do it. And they never forgave me."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Chris hugs him before they part at the Diaz door, which he doesn't always do, and Buck hugs him back, trying to absorb every ounce of affection Christopher is giving him. He doesn't need parents. He has people he loves. He's good.

Really.

*

"Chimney asked me something," Maddie says carefully the next morning. "And I thought I should tell you. But I don't want to make you feel weird."

"You're making me feel weird now. What's wrong? Is everything okay? Is he quitting the show? Did he ask you out?"

"He asked me if you and Eddie are dating."

"Oh," says Buck. "We're not."

"Yeah, I thought not. But…"

"But?"

"But I understand why he asked."

Buck is remembering a few of Chim's comments that make a lot more sense now, so he does too. But Maddie is looking serious and worried, like this is somehow a problem. "You say it like it's a bad thing," he says, carefully. "Eddie's a great guy. I should be so lucky."

"Would you…be interested in that? Dating a guy, I mean," she clarifies, when he frowns.

"Oh. I don't know. I've been thinking about it, kind of."

If he's honest, he's been sort of trying not to think about it. Being an ally has always been an important part of his identity, ever since he found out what gay meant, and he'd always sort of thought, well, he could date a guy, probably. If he met the right one. But it had to mean something that he'd never hooked up with a guy before, right? It wasn't like guys had never hit on him before. He'd just never said yes.

"Because of Eddie?" Maddie asks.

"Maybe. It's not like…" He sighs. "You can't tell Chimney this."

"Okay, I won't."

"Eddie does like guys. He's bisexual, he said. And he figured it out when he was a teenager. When he met me, actually."

"Um, sorry. What?"

Buck rubs his neck. "Yeah, he told me a few weeks ago. I was being kind of down on myself, I guess. About how I've never really had a relationship. And he told me he kind of had a thing for me back then to cheer me up."

"Weren't you in El Paso for, like, 24 hours?"

"Obviously it didn't go anywhere. But I guess that was the push he needed to figure himself out."

"Okay. And now you're thinking you might be interested in him?"

"No!" says Buck, probably too quickly. "I'm just thinking about how, I don't know. I had this huge impact on him, right? Not just him, but the rest of his family too. And I barely even remember it. And it feels like such a waste, right? He's this amazing guy, my best friend, and I met him and had no idea. I keep thinking about, like…we just passed through El Paso on our way from Tucson to Dallas. But what if we'd been there for six months, instead of working out of Dallas? What if I'd stayed there?"

"You would have had a friend for six months?" Maddie offers.

"Yeah. Maybe we could have stayed in touch." He lets out a breath, not sure why it's so shaky. "Maybe I would have had someone to go to when I left, you know. Someone that meant something."

"You never really answered my question. About dating men."

"I know." He rubs his face. "It doesn't matter, right? Like, he had a thing for me when we were in high school. For twenty-four hours. It doesn't mean anything now."

"Did he say that?"

"Not in so many words. But it was implied. And we were talking about dating! Which he said he doesn't want to do generally. And he was telling me I should. So that's not encouraging, right?"

"Encouraging?"

"You know what I mean."

"Honestly? I'm really trying to figure it out. It sounds like you want him to still be interested in you. And if you do, you should maybe figure out why."

His mouth goes a little dry. "Yeah. Um, yeah. That's…good advice. Thanks."

She squeezes his knee. "Good luck."

*

This is Buck's first sexuality crisis, and he doesn't really know if the timing on it is good or bad. On the one hand, he doesn't really have much time to think about it because he has a shift at the station, then twenty-four hours off, and then they're headed to Massachusetts to film, because the producers apparently did listen to him, even if he doesn't have any particular reason to visit Boston anymore. On the other hand, the car comes to pick up him and Eddie together, which means that he's sort of thinking about it whether he has time or not, because Eddie's right there, and will continue being right there for the foreseeable future. It's not like he doesn't have plenty of time to stare at Eddie's profile as he looks out the window and wonder exactly how handsome you can think a guy is before you stop being straight.

"Are you nervous?" he asks, when he starts to feel kind of creepy.

Eddie startles away from the window. "Huh?"

"Nervous. About the show."

"Honestly? Not really. Based on the first season, it seems pretty easy. Walk around with you, talk about how ghosts aren't real, pick up a paycheck. I could do that in my sleep. Why, are you?"

"No way. I'm the expert here. I'm going to be giving you tips. Carla's staying with Chris?"

"Yeah. Chris wanted to go to your place and stay with Maddie, but I know her schedule is pretty weird now that she's working at dispatch."

"Is he still worrying about her?"

"About half worrying about her, half wanting to hang out with your cat."

Buck's entire brain hiccups. "My cat?"

"Yeah, I don't think you ever told me her name. It's her, right?" he adds, when Buck continues to just sort of stare blankly. "I'm pretty sure we learned calico cats are usually female in high-school biology."

There just isn't a good way to say I didn't think you knew I had a cat. Eddie has been over plenty of times, and if Cosmo was a normal cat, it would be completely unsurprising that Eddie knew about her. Buck would have taken it for granted.

"Yeah," he finally manages. "It's her. Cosmo. I didn't know Chris was such a big fan."

"She's pretty shy around him, doesn't get close enough for him to pet her or anything. He thought maybe with you gone, she'd be desperate."

"She likes Maddie too. But I bet if Chris is patient, she'll get used to him soon."

By which he really means that he's going to have a firm talk with her about being nice to Chris, and also about why Chris and Eddie can see her, as soon as he gets home.

"Anyway, if he and Carla want to stop by when Maddie is home, I know she won't mind. I think she likes the company."

Eddie shifts a little, moving fully away from the window and into conversation with Buck. "We haven't talked about that in a while. How's she doing?"

"Better, I think. She still doesn't want to talk about it, but she's getting more relaxed. Sometimes she doesn't wash her dishes right after she uses them. I still feel like I'm not really helping."

"This is going to be hard for you to hear as someone who wants to fix everything, but I think not doing anything special is probably the best thing you can do for her right now. If she wants to talk, she knows you'll talk to her. But nothing is the right thing to do."

Buck groans. "You're right, that's hard for me to hear."

Eddie pats his shoulder. "I said you're doing the best thing you can."

"I know. Still."

Eddie goes back to looking out the window, and Buck tries to think about kissing him. Because that's the whole thing, right? It's not a question if he likes Eddie. That's obvious. Attraction is murkier, but he's pretty sure it's there. Eddie is really good-looking, and Buck has noticed it more than once.

So it's really just the kissing. The wanting. If he could want a guy.

Eddie looks like he'd be a good kisser, not that looks are actually a good predictor of skill, in Buck's experience. He's definitely made out with some girls who were so hot no one had ever told them that their technique could use some work. And Eddie has said, in as many words, that he's really only been with one person.

Does that mean he's never been with a guy? Has he had other crushes, or was it just Buck back in high school? He hadn't actually thought about that, when Eddie told him.

He's one of only two people Eddie's ever admitted to being interested in. It's kind of amazing.

Buck sleeps on the plane to Boston, which isn't actually their destination. The producers decided Salem would be a great place to film the opening, even though it's such a cliche. It's one of the things Buck always wonders about shows like this, how many times people can see the same places and still think there's stuff to be found there. But he's not the expert, and it's not like he minds. They hadn't made it to New England at all in season one, so they're doing five days here: two for Salem in general, two for some ski resort in New Hampshire, and one for a family home in Vermont. It'll probably be fun.

"You wanted to come here, right, Buckley?" one of the producers asks.

"Yeah, my sister used to live here. But she moved, so…"

For a wild second, he thinks about reaching out to Doug, but he can't think of anything stupider than talking to his sister's abusive ex. Except maybe punching him, which is what would probably happen if they met up.

"So I don't need to stop or anything," he finishes, with a smile. "Salem, here we come."

It's a short drive that takes a long time with all the traffic around the airport. It's not worse than LA, just bad in a different way. Buck had only visited Maddie a few times in the city, but he remembers a lot of the quirks, like the way no one uses turn signals and they all seem to consider every other driver on the road as a bitter enemy. But at least he's not behind the wheel to try to deal with it.

Once they've gotten to the hotel, the five of them have dinner together. Buck drinks a little too much and laughs a little too loud and tries not to look at Eddie's mouth, which he thinks he probably would kiss, if Eddie wanted him to. If Eddie was still interested in that.

When he gets up to his room, Cosmo is sleeping on the bed.

"Of course," he says. "Did you tell Maddie you were leaving, or can you be in two places at once?"

She yawns, blinks at him, and stretches.

"Don't let Eddie see you here. And be nice to Christopher."

She goes back to sleep, and Buck goes to shower.

Big day in the morning.

*

"Bobby is getting the historical tour," says Leanne, the producer who most often tells Buck what to do. "You four are going to enjoy the town. We want some footage of all of you together and some of you in as pairs. Some cute B roll to get everyone reintroduced to the three of you and introduced to Eddie. We probably won't use much dialogue, but we're recording, so don't say anything you don't want on tape."

"So our job today is to enjoy a quaint New England town?" Chim asks. "Sounds terrible. I don't know how we'll manage."

"You two can start exploring first," Leanne tells him and Hen. "Buck, you're going to tell us about Eddie. Some background, why he's joining the team, how you know him. Eddie, you can jump in if you have something to add."

Buck and Eddie exchange a glance. How they met isn't exactly fraught, but Buck has two options for what to say, and one is both more interesting and more private. His past is known, but this isn't just his. It's Eddie's and his family's too. It's Isabel's grief and the family's skepticism and Eddie's sexual awakening.

And it was just another day for Buck.

"So, after last season, everyone agreed that if I was going to be finding bodies and falling through ceilings, I could probably use a buddy," he tells the camera. They're filming in a park, him and Eddie side-by-side, an immediate team. "So, this is Eddie."

"Hi," says Eddie, with a wave.

"Eddie, why don't you tell them how we met?" Buck suggests, slinging an arm around him. It's a companionable move that he wouldn't be overthinking at all, except for the whole thinking about kissing him thing.

"First time or second time?" Eddie asks, without missing a beat.

"Well, the first time I was really cool and you owe me forever."

"So, the second time, when you tried to break into my apartment."

"I tried to open your apartment with the key to my apartment," Buck corrects. "Which sounds a lot like breaking in from the other side. He lives down the hall from me and I was really tired," he tells the camera. "But the first time we met, I helped his grandfather cross over to the other side."

Eddie snorts. "If you believe in that stuff."

"Okay, but you said I helped. You're on the record that I was helpful."

"My grandmother was in mourning and you comforted her. And, judging from last season, you probably gave her a carbon monoxide detector, just to be safe."

"Everyone should have one!"

"You're not wrong."

"Eddie and I are at the same firehouse now. And he has the best kid in the world. Hi, Chris!"

"Don't say hi to my kid on TV before I can, he already likes you better than me."

Buck rolls his eyes. "Not even possible. So, what are you doing hunting ghosts if you don't believe in ghosts, Diaz?"

"Making sure you don't break your neck," he says, and Buck could definitely kiss him right now.

*

Working with Eddie is just better than working on his own, in every possible way. Buck knew it would be, hadn't been worried, but it's still kind of amazing to actually experience it. When he'd been told he'd be alone on the show, he'd taken it in stride because alone was what he was used to. His parents rarely came in with him on jobs, and he'd just taken it for granted. He was the one with the powers, so it just made sense that he was the one who went into danger first.

He always knew that if anything happened, no one would come and save him, and he never really thought about it. He must have been scared the first time, right? He must have been scared until he learned what ghosts were like, and he just pushed through it. He stopped caring that no one ever came with him. It felt right, that he was the only one who would get hurt. The natural order of things.

And now there's Eddie, and it's just really nice. Buck hadn't been afraid, mostly. He knew there was nothing there, most of the time. But he had been lonely, and now, he's not.

It's a great feeling until they get to the ski lodge and it's not only haunted, it's badly haunted. There's something malevolent there, something that wants to hurt people. Maybe a ghost, maybe something else, one of those things he doesn't know the right name for.

Whatever it is, Buck has to deal with it, and he has to deal with it with not only the cameras on him, but with Eddie by his side.

It's a two-night shoot, so he avoids the ghost on the first night. It's not hard, because the ghost is feeling him out too, following them around at a safe distance, trying to figure out what Buck wants. When he's leaving, he can feel its smug satisfaction, and a warning: it won't be so nice if he comes back.

So that's great.

He sleeps until eight-thirty, at which point his brain wakes him up so he can stress out about the stupid ghost, so he goes to the coffee shop in the lobby, grabs two large black and two bagels, and bangs on Eddie's door until it opens.

It's not the first time Buck's lost his breath at the sight of Eddie, but it's the first time he's been aware it's because Eddie isn't just hot in general, he's hot to Buck specifically. He's shirtless, his shorts riding low, his hair a total mess, and all Buck wants to do is push him back into the bed and crawl on top of him.

"Buck," he says, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

"I need to talk to you."

"And it couldn't wait until we'd gotten more than five hours of sleep?" he asks, but he's stepping aside and letting Buck in anyway.

Buck shoves the coffee at his chest and says, "I can really see ghosts."

"What."

"I really saw your grandfather's ghost. That's why you never needed to call anyone else. I got him to move on. Ghosts are real and I really do exorcize them."

"Buck…"

"I'm not lying. You know me. I wouldn't."

Eddie's jaw works for a minute, like he has to actually chew on Buck's confession. But what he finally says is, "And your parents know."

It's not a question, but Buck says, "Yeah," anyway.

"And they still did that to you," Eddie says, and he's so pissed that Buck almost grins, even though it would be wildly inappropriate. "It was bad enough when I thought they were just sending their kid into empty houses alone in the middle of the night, now you're telling me the houses actually had stuff in them?"

"Ghosts usually aren't aggressive. Your grandfather was really nice."

"Buck."

"Listen, I would love to break down my entire shitty childhood for you. Honestly, it would probably be good to talk about it with someone. But I told you this now for a reason."

"I figured." He sits down on the edge of the bed, sipping his coffee. He's still shirtless, and Buck is still into that. "What happened?"

"This place really is haunted."

"Really?"

"It's only the second time it happened."

"Was the first time that prison corpse?"

"Yeah." Buck pauses, but if he's being honest, he might as well keep going. "That's where I got my cat."

Eddie takes a much longer sip of coffee. "I can't believe you're doing this to me on like five hours' sleep. Is your cat a ghost?"

"No? Honestly, I don't know what she is. She was the reason the ghost didn't leave. It doesn't matter."

"You brought it up."

"Okay, yeah, you're right. Sorry. This is our first bad haunting. Ghosts are usually pretty cool, actually? They just want someone to tell them that the things they love are going to be okay. But this one's mean. And I have to figure out how to get rid of it without anyone else knowing. So I need your help."

Eddie is just staring at him, probably about half-ready to call Bobby in to make sure Buck doesn't have a concussion or something, when Buck feels the familiar weight of Cosmo appearing on his shoulders.

He closes his eyes.

"Is that your fucking ghost cat," Eddie says.

"Yeah," says Buck. "She does that."

*

"We can't just go in before filming starts and deal with it?" Eddie asks. They've finished their coffee and eaten their bagels and Cosmo is on Eddie now, somehow sitting on his shoulder perfectly straight even though he's pacing. "We're not on call til two."

"Not this one. The longer a ghost stays, the less connected they are to the world? This one is pretty old, so it won't come out until after dark. It can't survive during the day anymore."

Eddie looks like he has a lot of follow-up questions but also realizes now isn't the time. Buck will be happy to give him a whole presentation later, if he wants. "What do you do with a ghost like this?"

"Kind of depends. See, all I ever do is talk to them. I figure out what they're staying and talk them into going. Usually it's not that hard. They love something, they stay for it, but staying makes it worse. Like with your grandmother. She knew she was being haunted, she could feel it. So she couldn't move on until he did. Until she stopped feeling him next to her."

Eddie is too smart, just in general. He fixes Buck with a shrewd look, and Buck realizes what's coming a second before Eddie says, "Was Shannon…?"

"Yeah," Buck breathes.

"And you got her to move on."

"She was worried about Chris. I told her he'd be okay. That you'd take care of him."

"And she believed you?"

"I promised," says Buck. "I said I'd be there for him too."

There's a long pause before Eddie says, "Thanks."

"You always knew he got better after he met me. Now you know why."

"That's not why, Buck."

"It's part of why," he insists. "I'm not just good at talking to people. I actually do something for them."

Eddie looks like he wants to argue, but he lets out a breath instead. "Okay. So you need to talk to it?"

"Yeah. But it'll probably try to kill me."

"Kill you," Eddie repeats blankly.

"It's never worked," says Buck.

Eddie mutters something in Spanish that Buck assumes is either obscene or blasphemous. "If I ever meet your parents again, we have to come up with an alibi for me in advance."

It's probably not supposed to be romantic, but Buck is romanced anyway. "It was kind of sizing me up last night, but it'll make a move tonight, when it sees I'm back."

"So what do you need me to do? Turn off my camera and pretend we're having technical difficulties while you yell at a ghost?"

"That's not my first choice," Buck admits. "But it might end up happening."

Eddie rubs his face. "Not a serious suggestion. Do you have a plan?"

"You talked to someone on staff yesterday, right?"

"Yeah, one of the cleaners."

"Did they say anything about staff lore about the ghost? Do they have someone they think it is?"

"Didn't you talk to someone too?"

"Yeah, and he didn't have anything helpful."

"Uh, I don't really think so? She said it had been happening for like four years, though."

That's actually interesting. "She remembered it starting?"

"Yeah. It was always creepy, but she said it never bothered her until about four years ago. They closed down for the summer to do a big remodel before ski season started, and when they came back, she said it was different."

Buck had talked to someone at the reception desk, but he'd only been on staff for two years. To him, the place had always been like this.

"Okay, yeah, that's good. That's really good. A remodeling totally makes sense."

"Does it?"

"Like I said, ghosts are usually motivated by love. They want to protect something, to make sure it will survive beyond them. So if this ghost had something it loved here in the hotel, some part of the building, even just a photograph, and they got rid of it in the remodeling…"

"Then the ghost would be pissed."

"And it would turn on them."

"So, if my abuela had died before you'd gotten Abuelo to move on…"

"I think they probably would have both stayed around to watch the family. But generally, yeah, that's how ghosts go bad. I think there must be other people like me? Ones who can help them move on. Otherwise we'd have a lot more spirits around. And the longer you wait to get rid of them, the more likely something like this happens. Eventually, something will always happen to whatever it is that's keeping the ghost around. Kind of unavoidable. Except maybe the cat," he grants. He's not sure if the cat can actually be killed, but it wouldn't have been safe for him to leave her ghost hanging around regardless. "The cat might be immortal."

"You still haven't given me an actual plan, Buck."

"Yeah, I still don't have one. Last time, I dealt with the ghost while everyone else was talking to the cops. But I don't think I can plan on finding a body every time they accidentally find a real haunting."

"Yeah, we're not doing that."

"Do you have plans before we start filming?" Buck asks.

"Sleeping, but that was a bust."

"You want to come to the ski lodge with me and look for clues?"

It feels hopelessly immature as soon as the words are out of his mouth, like they're amateur detectives in a children's book or something, but Eddie's eyes light up. "Does that work?"

"They might have some pictures or stuff about the remodel. Or someone might be able to tell us more about it."

"Bobby might have more from his interview. He got the most background."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to tell Bobby."

"Is that bad?" Eddie asks. "You told me, and I don't even believe in ghosts. Bobby wouldn't need much convincing, neither would Hen. You'd make Chimney's entire year."

It hadn't even occurred to Buck. He's just so used to keeping it secret, to thinking that no one would believe him. He'd been sure he could convince Eddie, because he and Eddie are friends, and Eddie can see the cat, so he thought he could get her to help if he had to. Mostly, telling Eddie had felt safe, and Eddie was the one who was going to be on the job with him, so he seemed like he'd be in the best position to help.

But Eddie's not wrong. If everyone knew, they could all help.

"I don't think Chim's good at keeping secrets," he says. "And I don't want the producers to find out."

"If it's just him, they probably wouldn't believe it. But it's up to you. If you just want me to come play Hardy Boys with you, I will."

"Let's start there, yeah."

As they head over to the resort, Buck turns over the idea of telling the rest of the team in his head. Eddie should have been the hardest one to convince, but he was also the only one who had really seen Buck in action. Eddie has been close to two hauntings in his life, and he saw things improve after Buck intervened both times.

But Eddie's also their resident skeptic, so if Eddie believed him, wouldn't everyone? And even if they didn't really believe him, wouldn't they help him? Bobby might think he's having a psychotic break, but he'd do everything he could to help Buck through that.

"You don't think I'm having a psychotic break, do you?" he asks Eddie, just to be sure.

"If you are, I am too. I can see the cat." He rubs his face. "Honestly, I kind of hate it. I don't want to believe you. But it explains a lot."

"You know what, I'll take that."

"So, am I going to know there's a ghost around? Will I feel haunted?"

"I don't really know. You didn't last night, right?"

"No. Did it touch me?"

"No, it never got that close."

"Okay, so, will I know?"

"I've never actually done this with another person around," he admits and regrets it mostly because he should probably stop making Eddie want to murder his parents. Except he doesn't really think Eddie would murder them, just give them a dressing down. Which Buck would love to see.

"Do you think Chim and Hen are in danger?"

"No," he says, too quickly. "I'm the threat, it should just be interested in me."

"But you've never done this with other people. So you don't actually know. And if it was so safe and they'd just go after you, why didn't your parents go in with you?"

"I don't know if it's worse if they knew they were safe or if they knew they wouldn't be," Buck muses.

"That's because both options are so bad."

"It's not like I thought they were good parents or anything. I've known they weren't like parents should be for as long as I can remember. But I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of awesome how much you hate them."

"That's good, because I wasn't going to stop hating them if you didn't like it."

Because sometimes the universe just sucks, Bobby is already in the lobby at the resort, even though their call isn't for hours. He's sitting there reading, completely casual, almost like he was waiting for them.

Buck stops short and Eddie crashes into him, nearly knocking both of them over. Bobby is just watching them with eyebrows raised, like they're a comedy act performing just for him and he's not particularly impressed.

"Hey, Bobby," says Buck, raising one hand.

"Hi, Bobby."

"Buck, Eddie. You two are awfully early."

"So are you," Buck points out.

"Wondering if Athena and I would enjoy a vacation. I've never really skied before. Maybe I'd like it. What about you?"

Buck and Eddie exchange a look, which is enough for Buck to crack. "I think this place is really haunted."

Bobby's expression doesn't change. "And you got Eddie to agree with you?"

"I got him to come look around."

"Which couldn't possibly wait until tonight, when our entire job will be looking around. Do the producers know you're doing this?"

Buck's jaw works. He can feel Eddie's eyes on him, the weight of years of not telling anyone on his shoulders. "I don't want them to know."

"Why not? Seems perfect."

"I know it's really haunted. And I don't want anyone else to know that I know that, or that I really can fix it."

"And you can?" Bobby asks. He'd sounded worried that time Buck fell through the floor, but Buck has yet to actually see him rattled. He's the calmest person Buck has ever met.

"Uh, yeah, I think so."

Bobby's focus shifts to Eddie. "And you believe him?"

"I might not believe in ghosts, but I believe in Buck," Eddie says, so casual and easy that Buck's whole stomach flips over. He'll just say stuff like that and move on, as if it's no big deal, as if Buck would be the weird one for asking to get it in writing. "He needed backup and that's why I'm here. And he's got a ghost cat."

The eyebrows at least go up at that. "Ghost cat?"

"Long story."

Bobby pats his thighs and stands, nodding at Buck. "Okay. What are we looking for? How can I help?"

*

Of course, Eddie was right about Bobby's more privileged information. He's a thorough guy, so he knew about the remodel and had already had his own theories about whether or not it might have affected the increased reports of haunting.

"They've always had them," he explains, as Buck and Eddie watch him in slightly awed silence. He looks like he should have a conspiracy board behind him. "Pretty standard stuff, what you'd expect from an old building where the staff work overnights. Easy to get scared and see things that aren't real."

"Yeah," says Buck. "But it got worse after they remodeled."

"See, I was thinking it must have been something about how they did it. Some cut corners and bad measurements in construction could have caused some of this."

"How come you didn't tell us?" Eddie asks.

"I haven't gotten the impression that our producers really care about solutions to the problems these places are facing. I don't--I didn't," he corrects, nodding to Buck, "have an answer that involved ghosts, so I didn't think it was worth mentioning to them."

"Maybe not to them, but to us. You know we want to help too," Buck says.

"That is true. Have there been any other haunted sites when we're filming?"

"Just the first. The prison. That woman's ghost was still there. But she wasn't doing anything bad. Just needed some help to move on."

"Interesting," says Bobby. Buck gets the distinct impression that he's filing all this away for later analysis, but at least he's staying on task for now. "Okay, so, tonight we'll have a few different priorities. First, of course, is to make our show, without tipping anyone else off about the fact that we are actually looking for a ghost. We'll want to tell Chimney and Hen about this at some point, but I don't think there's enough time for Chim to process it before we start filming tonight. Second, and more important, is making sure no one gets hurt. This place may be haunted, but the ghost hasn't done anything more than spook people and drop things so far. It's not worth putting yourself in danger, Buckley."

"Understood."

"Third is getting rid of the ghost. Which only you can do?"

"Unless Eddie has some skills he doesn't know about. But then he probably could have exorcized his own grandfather."

"That's true," says Eddie. "I did not do that."

"Oh, that was real too," says Bobby. "Good to know. Buck, I don't think anyone will mind if you show if and when you're really seeing something. The producers will probably be thrilled if you start acting as if you're catching ghosts out of the corner of your eye. Just make sure you do that to let Eddie know if there's anything he needs to watch out for."

Buck nods. "I can do that."

"What about his mic?" Eddie asks.

"I'm the one who sees when mics are on and offline. There's a producer nearby, but they don't monitor very closely. If I don't blow the whistle on him, I think he should be able to get off mic for a little while without anyone being the wiser until later. As for the camera, if it picks anything up, that's fine. If they want audio from Buck, I can say there must have been an issue with the mic and we'll rerecord it. It's not as if they actually care if everything is real."

"And you're just…good with this."

Bobby studies him. "If you'd come into your interview and told me you could see ghosts, I wouldn't have believed you. And I wouldn't have hired you. But I've seen you work now, Buck. I've seen how you are. I don't think you'd lie about this. And if you're not lying, you're telling the truth. And if you're telling the truth, I want to help you help these people."

It makes sense, but it's also a little like getting the wind knocked out of him. Buck's never had people who trust him like this before. Of course, he'd met people who believed he really had powers, but that hadn't been about him. Believers like that were desperate for anyone who could give them hope; they'd just gotten lucky that Buck wasn't a grifter. It was nothing personal.

But here are Eddie and Bobby, smart guys who never particularly believed in any of this stuff, who will take Buck's word for it just because he's Buck. That's all it takes.

"Okay," he says, with an awkward clearing of his throat. "Okay. So, I think it's probably a missing architectural feature. You'd be amazed how attached some ghosts get to stuff like that. I saw one flip from friendly to nightmare over a broken mug. But that was a mom haunting her daughter and I think they had some other issues, to be honest."

Eddie snorts. "So you just have to, what? Convince the ghost that the new color looks nice?"

"I'm hoping it's also invested in the business. Because this place has been a resort for a while, right, Bobby?"

"I think that's what it was built to be. Not that it was called a resort back then, but somewhere for travelers to stay and enjoy the mountains."

"Okay, that should help. The ghost probably cared about the whole place, so if the remodel was good for business, I just need to convince them it was a good idea and the business will keep thriving. It'll be harder if it was, like, a painter who did a portrait that got destroyed in the remodel, but I can improvise if I have to."

Bobby and Eddie frown at each other, and Buck can't really blame them. They haven't actually seen him do this before. It doesn't sound very plausible.

Bobby's the one to finally say, "Okay. Sounds like we have a plan. And if this doesn't work, maybe we could come back here sometime for a team vacation to clear it out. Or the two of you could just bring Christopher."

"I'm not bringing my son to a haunted resort," says Eddie, presumably because he's not distracted wondering if Bobby also thinks they're dating.

"I could come on my own, clear it out--" Buck starts, and Eddie glares at him.

"I'm not sending you into one alone either. We'll figure something else out."

Buck's still trying to figure out a response to that when crew members start turning up, first a few PAs and camera people, then Chimney and Hen, the producers, until the whole cast is assembled and they're ready to start prep.

Buck can feel the ghost waking up as night sets in. It knows he's here as surely as he can feel it, and he can feel its anger, sharp and hot.

"I really don't like this place," he tells Eddie. They did the top two floors last night, and tonight they have the bottom two and the fucking basement. Buck is pretty immune to creepy places, but he's never gotten used to New England basements, which in his experience universally have some weird dark opening leading straight into what looks like a hell dimension.

"Anything in particular?" Eddie asks. "Or just the vibes?"

"It's a worse vibe tonight. But, uh, nice place overall," he adds. "Still a good vacation spot."

"Are you worried about them losing business?" Chim asks into his ear. "Because I'm pretty sure ghost vibes bring in more business than they scare off."

The ghost is getting closer and closer. Buck is looking around as much as he can without being suspicious, trying to move his eyes without moving the camera, and he keeps catching Eddie doing the same thing, except he's watching Buck. Waiting for a sign.

When Buck is sure the ghost is in the room next to them, he spins and opens the door, hoping it'll be fast enough to catch the ghost off guard. He sees it for only a split second, an inhuman mass of anger, bright and hot, before it drops down through the floor. Buck can feel when it settles, inevitably, in the basement.

"Did you do that for a reason?" Eddie asks.

"I thought I heard something," he says, doing a slow turn around the room to make it look good for the cameras. "But there's nothing here."

Eddie appears by his side with a heat reader. The ghost's trail lingers, lighting up the display in red. "This thing's actually responding. What's the room number? Hen and Chim should come and do a real investigation."

"Yeah, good idea," says Buck, trying to pour gratitude into the words without anyone else noticing. Hen and Chim can stay safe up here, where there's nothing, while he and Eddie check out the basement. "You two come up here, check out 218. Eddie and I are gonna hit the basement."

"Not the first floor?" Bobby asks. "I thought we were going in order."

"Yeah I was thinking about that," says Buck. "The basement is probably going to be way creepier than, like, kitchen and reception? So we should go down there first to make sure we have enough time for it."

"Sounds good. Go ahead."

They go in their usual order, Buck in front, Eddie a step behind him on his left, a comforting presence, his eternal backup. It's only their second site together, but it already feels right to Buck. Like this is how it's supposed to be.

Eddie did say he wouldn't let Buck do this alone.

Either the basement was redone in the remodeling too or resort basements are just better than residential ones, because most of it is fine. There's a big laundry room down there, some administrative stuff, and Eddie cracks jokes about how creepy it is and how right Buck was to be worried as they take their time investigating those.

Then they get to the unfinished part of the basement, which is, of course, where the ghost is. Buck can see it, bright and hazy and leaking around the edges into the darkness, waiting like a coiled spring.

"Okay, fine," says Eddie, startling him out of his concentration. "This is creepy."

"I told you, there's always a part like this in New England."

He forces himself to cross the threshold of the unfinished basement. This is the ghost's domain, he knows it, but he doesn't understand why until he does a sweep of the area and sees it's full of old wood.

"Looks like stuff they took out in the remodeling," Buck tells Eddie.

"Some of this woodworking is really nice, I'm surprised they got rid of it."

Buck sees him leaning in close to a mantelpiece a second before the ghost lashes out, one long burst of energy headed right to Eddie. Buck grabs his arm and pulls him back, and the woodwork that Eddie had just been admiring falls into the place where he'd just been standing.

So clearly the ghost wasn't attached to that.

"What just happened?" Bobby asks. "Buck, Eddie, you two okay?"

"Yeah, fine," says Eddie. "I guess they got rid of it because it wasn't very stable."

Buck squeezes his arm once before he lets go. "Yeah, I could see a crack in it. Maybe Eddie getting close jostled it."

"Oh, so it's my fault?"

Despite his nerves, Buck grins over his shoulder, making sure Eddie's camera will see it. "Hey, one of us nearly got hit and one of us noticed and pulled the other one out of the way. That's all I'm saying."

"Do you two need backup?" Hen asks. "No one's actually hurt, right?"

"No one's hurt," Buck confirms. "You two stay up there." He swallows. "Eddie, check out that side," he says, jerking his chin away from the ghost. "I'll take this one."

Eddie's not stupid; he knows exactly what Buck is doing. For a second, his jaw works, like he doesn't want to split up, even a little bit. But he nods instead. "Sounds good. Let me know if you find anything."

As soon as Eddie turns around, Buck switches off his mic.

The ghost is huddled in the corner, bright white and angry as Buck approaches. It lashes out again, knocking down an old light fixture next to Buck, and Bobby, in his ear, says, "Eddie, I think that knocked out Buck's microphone. Keep an eye on him, will you?"

"On it," says Eddie.

"Leave if more stuff starts falling. The ground might not be stable if it's unfinished down there.

"I'll drag him out if I have to," Eddie promises.

Buck is only watching the ghost. He's almost close enough to see…

"Oh," he says.

The ghost is crouched on top of an old sign, and Buck cannot believe that no one, in this whole process, mentioned that the place got renamed in the remodel. Albertson's Inn. It was named after someone, and now it's not.

"Wow, that sucks," Buck tells the ghost, his voice whisper soft. "You built this whole place, made it successful, and then they just took your name off it? No wonder you're pissed. I would be too."

The ghost reaches out, curling its energy around Buck's throat. It's not squeezing enough to hurt him, not really, just enough to remind him that it has enough power to snap his neck if it wants to.

It probably won't.

"But the most important thing is that the place is doing well, right? This is still your inn, and people still love it. But they're not going to keep coming if there's an angry spirit breaking shit in their rooms."

"You two still good?" Hen asks.

"Buck is staring at some plywood," Eddie reports. "It's riveting."

"You can't help this place anymore," Buck tells it. "The only thing you can do is ruin it. And I know you don't want to do that."

For a long, breathless moment, nothing happens. Then, it slowly unwinds from around his neck, not leaving yet, but waiting for him. Wanting to hear what else he has to say.

"You can go," he prompts, in case it hasn't figured this out. "You can go, and this place will go on. And it will always be yours."

The ghost explodes.

Not literally, obviously, but it bursts apart with more force than any ghost Buck has ever met. The shock of it actually pushes him back, and he falls, not hard or far, but enough for Eddie to rush over.

"What was that?" Bobby asks.

Buck fumbles his mic back on, trying to catch his breath. Between the falling and the mild strangulation, he's felt better.

"Whatever it was, it fixed your mic," Bobby continues, because he is an amazing leader who knows exactly how to do this, somehow.

"Oh good." He clears his throat. "Sorry, I was just looking at the sign. I guess this place used to be named after someone."

"So maybe that's our ghost," says Chim, right on cue. "He's the one who built the place, and he's mad that he doesn't get the credit anymore."

Bobby sighs. "I wasn't asking about the sign, Buck, I was asking why you fell over."

"I must have tripped on something."

"Or the ghost shoved him," says Chim.

"Those are the two possibilities," Buck agrees, taking the hand Eddie offers him and letting himself be pulled up.

"But you're good now?" Eddie asks, his eyes roving over Buck, checking him for damage.

Buck has to smile. "Yeah. We're all good."

*

Of course, they have to film and refilm the basement stuff. It's a surreal experience because objectively, nothing actually very scary or dangerous happened. Some things fell, but didn't hit them. Buck fell down, but wasn't hurt. He looked at a sign for a while. It's hardly high drama, but it's also the most real, actual stuff that has happened to them since the floor gave out on Buck, so of course they have to milk it for all it's worth.

At least they don't know they should very lightly choke him, too. That would suck.

Once the producers are satisfied, they drive to Vermont and Buck spends the entire trip sleeping on Eddie's shoulder, which does wonders for his whole mood. This house isn't haunted, just a normal, run-of-the-mill old house that creaks and groans and has some weird old portraits with eyes that follow you wherever you go. Eddie teases Buck about whether or not he's going to fall over in any strong breeze, and Buck retaliates by telling Eddie not to walk too close to any old wood, just to be safe.

They fly back to LA the next morning, and before they all go home, Bobby says, "Lunch at my place tomorrow, noon. No families. I think Buck has something to tell us." So that's happening.

He and Eddie get driven home and Buck sticks his head in to say hi to Christopher, then goes back to Maddie.

"I told Eddie and Bobby," he tells her. "That I really can see ghosts."

"Oh, wow. Why?"

"Because there was a ghost that wanted to kill me in New Hampshire. It was fine," he adds, at her startled look. "Just some light property damage and I got it to leave. But I wasn't going to be able to do that without Eddie noticing something was up."

"So you told him."

"Yeah."

"And it went okay?"

"Yeah. Really good, actually."

"How's that crush going?"

"Uh…crushing," he says, with a laugh. "Yeah. That's another thing I'm going to have to figure out. But we have to tell the rest of the team first. And I actually think it's going to go okay?"

"That's amazing, Evan! I'm so happy for you."

"Is it? I still feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like I never should have told them."

"That's Mom and Dad in your head," she says, dismissive. "They always told us if people knew, everything would fall apart. But you really can see ghosts. It's not like you're lying."

"Yeah, but I usually can't prove it. It's not like Eddie saw anything in that basement, except for some stuff falling down. If he didn't trust me, I couldn't have convinced him. Not without Cosmo, anyway."

"Cosmo?"

"She showed up on his shoulders. Hard to argue with evidence like that."

Maddie scratches the cat, who's now conveniently by her side. "That's a good girl."

"But he could already see her," Buck says. "He and Chris knew I had a cat."

"Yeah, I know."

His jaw drops. "You knew?"

"It's a cat, Buck! Of course people know you have a cat."

"She's invisible half the time! I thought the only reason you could see her was because you've got some powers too."

"Sounds like she decides who sees her. And she really likes Eddie, for some reason."

"Not dealing with that right now," he reminds her. "Anyway. All they have is my word. It's not a lot to go on to believe ghosts really exist."

"No. But they trust you, Buck."

"Yeah, I guess they do."

*

"I can't believe I trusted you!" says Chim. "And you've been holding out on me all this time."

"It hasn't really been that long," Hen counters. "How long would it take you to…" She shakes her head. "Never mind. If you could see ghosts, you would tell everyone, immediately. You would get a billboard."

"Hi, I'm Howard Han, and I see dead people," Chim agrees, offering his hand like he's introducing himself. He turns his attention back to Buck. "We've seriously only had two real hauntings?"

"It's honestly more than I was expecting."

"So, what does this mean, Cap?" Hen asks Bobby. "For us."

"It means that sometimes, Buck is going to tell us that we've got a live one. Metaphorically speaking, obviously. And if he does, he'll tell us what he needs, and we'll do it."

He makes it sound so simple, and everyone else just agrees, too. Chimney has about a billion follow-up questions, of course, but not in a bad way. And not even in a new way. Nothing has changed for them, he realizes. Everyone believes him, and everyone likes him just the same as before.

No matter what Maddie said, he knows it wouldn't have always gone like this. Not everyone would believe him, not everyone would help.

But he has these people now.

"Are you going to tell Chris?" he asks Eddie, as they drive home.

"I've been trying to figure that out, and I still don't know. I think he still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny, but I always told him ghosts aren't real."

"To be fair, you didn't think they were."

Eddie snorts, but his amusement is short-lived. "I never want to lie to him. Not if I can avoid it. But I can't help wondering if he needs to know. If it would be good for him to know. But the longer I don't tell him, the worse it's going to be if I have to later, or if he finds out."

"To be honest, I wish I could have found out when I was older. I shouldn't have been dealing with that at Chris's age. Maybe it could be another thing like watching the show. It's not that you're not telling him, it's that you're waiting until he's, like, ten. Or whatever age you think is old enough. He'll understand!" he adds, when Eddie shoots him a dubious look.

"I'm not sure about that."

"Not right away. But I bet I can talk him through it."

He says it without thinking, like he always does, but the statement snags in his brain like loose cloth in a nail. It's nothing he hasn't said before, or nothing radically different. But he's started noticing that when he says stuff like that, Eddie doesn't disagree. Eddie says it too.

"You probably can," Eddie says, proving his point. "You're good at talking to him."

"It's a big, scary secret. I think we don't have to make a decision right away."

The we slips out, natural and completely unnatural all at once, somehow even worse than an I. It's Buck's secret, of course, so maybe he should have a say, but it's Eddie's kid. Eddie's decision.

He'd love to blame this one on Chim, who doesn't know if they're dating, and Maddie, who made that Buck's problem, but it probably isn't. He probably would have said it before too, he just wouldn't have known why it made his stomach churn.

"You," he corrects himself, for once. Eddie would probably let it go. "Sorry, it's your decision. I trust your judgement."

"I trust yours," Eddie shoots back. "You're kind of the expert here, Buck."

"I don't feel like it. I really don't know what I'm doing. I never thought I'd tell anyone, and now all of you know."

"And do you regret it? Wish you hadn't had to tell me?"

It's nice to not have to think about the answer. "No. But that doesn't make it any less weird."

"I guess it wouldn't. You want to come over for dinner? We've got enough for Maddie, if she's around."

"She's got an overnight shift tonight. But, yeah, I can come."

"Cool," says Eddie, and Buck tries to pencil in some time to think about that whole thing, too.

*

They make it through filming the end of the season without any more real ghosts. They do a couple houses in the LA area, so Chris tags along for those, sitting with Bobby in command until it gets too late and Carla takes him home. It's kind of fun having him around, but the producers try to convince Eddie to let him appear on camera despite Eddie's repeated refusals, so Buck's not expecting it to happen much more. Eddie's pretty firm on the whole parents not exploiting kids for ghost hunting thing, and Buck can't really blame him.

Life shifts again, once filming is done. Everyone except Bobby is back on rotation with the 118, and the station seems pretty happy to have them. Bobby gets really into playing chess in the park, which Hen tells the rest of them is because his wife was going to (lovingly) strangle him otherwise. Maddie starts looking for a place of her own to live, even though Buck swears up, down, left, and right that she doesn't have to. He stops short of saying he doesn't want her to, because that's more his issue than hers. As it turns out, he doesn't actually like living alone.

He goes to a bar one night when Eddie is busy and a guy recognizes him from the show and they end up making out a little. He tries to give Buck his number, but considering Buck was cataloguing every way the guy wasn't Eddie the whole time they were kissing, it seems like a bad idea.

Three weeks into hiatus, Bobby calls him over and gives him a big pile of file folders.

"Is this homework?" Buck asks, frowning.

"These are rejected cases from the producers. Apparently, we're officially too popular. We're getting more submissions than we have episodes."

"That's good, right? Probably means we'll get renewed."

"Almost certainly. We're also allowed to take on submissions off the air."

"Wait, really?"

"Of course. It's good for the brand. Adds some legitimacy to our organization, and more word of mouth publicity. The producers were thrilled when I said we might be able to take on some extra work. We won't get paid, unless the clients decide to pay us themselves, and the network won't cover airfare. But if this is something you're interested in, it's something we can do. I thought you'd be in the best position to identify cases where we could actually help. You are our expert."

Something warm and proud blossoms in Buck's chest. "Yeah. Uh, yeah. Thanks. I can definitely take a look."

"No pressure. I know you've got a lot going on. But I got the impression you were hoping for something like this when you signed up."

"Yeah, no, I was. This is awesome, really," he says, although the words catch in his chest.

Bobby tilts his head. "So, what is it?"

"Waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess? I can't believe I just told everyone everything and it's fine. Everything's fine. Better, actually. Things are great."

"Well, you're right, it won't last."

Buck lets out a surprised laugh. "Wow, Bobby. Not what I was expecting from you."

"We're not going to turn on you, Buck. I don't mean it like that. But things won't always go well, and they won't always go badly. At some point, things will not be fine, no matter what you do. Enjoy the calm until the storm shows up. And let me know if you think you can fit this in your schedule, or if there are any you think I can handle on my own."

"Will do."

He's driving home when Maddie calls, which he ignores until he's parked, because he's a responsible first-responder who knows better than to drive distracted. She's finally moved out, but luckily not that far. She's on the fifth floor of the building, and he sees her almost as much as he had before she moved. She just has space of her own, and he does too.

It's probably good for him.

"Hey, what's up? I just got home."

She doesn't reply, and the longer she doesn't, the more Buck's heart sinks. He should have enjoyed the calm more.

"Are you okay? Is it Doug? Mads, what--"

She lets out a shaking breath. "Mom and Dad are here. They want to talk."

Chapter Text

He almost says no.

It's tempting to just tell them he never wants to talk to them again. To tell them it's too late, and whatever they want to say to him, he doesn't want to hear.

To call Eddie and let him come and tell the Buckleys exactly what he thinks of them.

But Eddie is busy and Buck actually does want to hear. If they came all this way to talk to him, he's kind of curious why. And if it turns out they just wanted to talk to Maddie and she's the one who insisted they talk to him too, his apartment is just downstairs. He can leave and never see them again at the first sign of shittiness.

When Maddie opens the door and he sees his parents for the first time in more than five years, his first thought is that they look old. Worn out and rough around the edges. Like always, he wonders what they were looking for so relentlessly, why they didn't tell him. Why they'd refused to let him help in any way other than going alone into haunted houses to deal with whatever he found there.

"Evan," says his mother, and the word hits him like a physical blow. It's not like Maddie doesn't still call him that sometimes, not like he minds it from her. But it's too much baggage, hearing it from his mother.

"Actually, it's Buck. I go by Buck now."

"Buck," his dad repeats, the single word dripping with disdain.

"Yup." He crosses his arms, leaning against the door, refusing to get closer. "I didn't know you were coming."

"You blocked my number," Philip shoots back.

"But you still found us."

"Your…program," says his mother, like somehow "show" is too polite a word. "It said all of the cast are active or former members of the LAFD."

It shouldn't be that surprising, but somehow, Buck had assumed they'd never interact enough with Sixth Sense, First Response enough to learn anything about him from it. Not that it makes him feel better, exactly, but it makes something strange twist in his gut, something new and alien.

"Right. Okay. Well, if there isn't anything else..."

"Buck, wait," says Maddie. "They said they'd tell you. Everything. They promised. I didn't give them my address until they did."

The my is a small, precious gift. They know she lives here; they don't know he does. He could live anywhere.

"Okay," he says, relaxing by about half a degree. "So talk."

The story comes out in fits and starts. Buck realizes quickly that it's probably their first time explaining themselves to anyone, their first time laying everything out like this. No one has ever made them justify their actions.

"It's on my family's side," his mother explains. "Your abilities. A long time ago, my great-grandmother made an agreement with a supernatural force to give us good luck and prosperity, and the seeing. Your father's family aren't all involved, but…"

"There was an incident. Your uncle died when he was young and he was very attached to the family dog."

Buck winces. Ghost kids are rare; they don't often have strong enough attachments to keep them around. It's always bad when they do stay, though. Buck's good with kids, but even he struggles with those conversations, and not just because it makes him so upset to think about them dying so young.

"Her family came to help, it's how we met."

"Okay," Buck says slowly. "Sorry? That must have been hard."

"It was."

They lapse into silence, Buck vaguely wondering if that's somehow it. If that's the whole story of his weird family, it doesn't explain much.

His mother finally starts again, not meeting his eyes. "I told Philip about the agreement my family had made, before we married. If the oldest daughter had sons, they would be very powerful. And the being would take the son to serve it. But we hadn't had sons for a few generations. I didn't really believe it. But then I had a son and…it turned out it was real, after all."

Buck's blood runs cold. "So, what? You thought you were going to lose me so you decided not to get attached? You figured it didn't matter if I died because I was going to be taken anyway? Hey, when's that happening? I should tell my team so they aren't worried."

His parents are looking uncomfortable, but it's Maddie who gets his attention. She has her hands over her mouth, absolutely horrified. Like she's finally put the puzzle together, and the picture is a nightmare. "You never told me why," she breathes. "Just that he was a secret. You said you wanted Buck to find him, not…"

"Find who?" Buck asks, but his mother has turned her face into his father's chest and his father is stroking her back. Even in a conversation where the two of them agreed to talk to him, they're leaving a lot of the heavy lifting to Maddie. It fucking figures.

"Find who?" he asks again, directing the question to her this time, and Maddie lets out a ragged breath.

"We had a brother. And he was gone just a year after you were born. They never told me why, just that something had taken him, that some monster had him. But you wanted to give up Evan instead, didn't you?" Maddie asks their parents, her voice as harsh as he's ever heard it. "Somehow you made sure you were having another boy, one with power, because you thought that whatever was going to take Daniel would pick him instead."

Their parents don't confirm, but they don't really need to. The crying increases, and it just makes too much sense. They never cared about him because they never wanted him. They had done something--who knows what--to make sure that they would have another boy who could see ghosts, and they'd only had him so they wouldn't have to lose the son they already had.

They'd gambled and lost and had to keep him anyway.

"And when it didn't take me, you thought, what?" he asks, his voice foreign in his own ears. He's never been as mad as this, and he's been mad at them for as long he can remember. "If I found him, you could trade me in? Even if it didn't work the first time, maybe the next time you saw that thing, it would want to trade Daniel in for a newer model?"

"No!" Margaret says, fast enough it's either true or an easy lie. "We just wanted to know…We don't know what happened to him, Evan. We just wanted to know."

"And if you could have?" he asks, not looking away. "If you could trade me for him now, today, would you do it?"

"That's not fair," says his dad. "You can't ask us that."

"Fair?" he spits. "I don't think you want me to start talking about fair. I've got a lot I could say about fair."

He almost wishes that Philip would fight back. One more shitty response and Buck will completely lose it, and maybe he'd like to lose it a little. But his mother is crying and Maddie looks sick and Buck doesn't actually want to do this with them. They're not worth his rage.

"Whatever," he says. "Honestly? I don't even care. Good luck finding Daniel. He can be your only son, just like you always wanted."

*

He goes home and manages to stay there for about thirty seconds before he scoops up Cosmo and takes her down the hall to Eddie's. There's no one home, which he knew, Eddie still at his basketball game and Chris at a friend's house until after dinner. He doesn't have any more company than he would if he'd stayed home, but he feels better. If his parents somehow found his address, they still won't find him there. And as soon as Eddie gets home, Buck can…

Can he tell Eddie? Does he actually want anyone to know? It's not like he did anything wrong, but it's still staggering, discovering the depth of his unwantedness.

He texts Eddie, i'm on your couch, so he won't be surprised when he gets back, and then he starts the Switch. Cosmo is curled up next to his leg, not quite in his lap but a warm, solid weight, reminding him that he's not alone.

He has a Stardew Valley game that he started on a whim because Christopher was playing it and he likes playing the same stuff Chris does so they can talk about it. He's not often in the mood for low-stakes farming, but he's a little worried that if he starts fighting things, he's going to go back up there and punch his dad. Farming seems safer.

Eddie texts back after about half an hour to ask if Buck wants anything from the store, and Buck resists the urge to tell him to skip groceries and just come the fuck home. It's not like he's figured out what he's going to say anyway.

Maddie texts while he's telling Eddie he doesn't need anything, just a simple: I'm so sorry.

Me: you really didn't know?

Maddie: I thought they just wanted you to find him
I promise I didn't know the rest
They never told me about the curse

Me: it's not your fault
did they leave?

Maddie: They did
I said I'd call the police if they didn't
I can't believe they'd do that

And she probably can't, that's the weird thing. They wanted her, and even if she knew they didn't want Buck in the same way, it's not the same knowing it as living it. Buck can believe it with no effort at all.

Me: hope you don't have any sons

She doesn't respond to that and he feels a little bad, but what else is he supposed to say? It would suck if she did. At least he missed out on that part of the family curse.

He just got another part.

After five minutes, she asks, Are you at home?

Me: no

Maddie: Is Eddie taking good care of you?

He tangles his fingers in Cosmo's fur and closes his eyes.

Me: I'll be fine

Then he silences his phone and goes back to his farm.

Eddie gets back twenty minutes later with groceries. "Hey, are you--" he starts, and immediately stops. Which answers the question of how bad Buck looks, anyway. "What happened?"

"My parents are here," he says.

Eddie drops heavily onto the couch next to him. "I have witnesses who saw me playing basketball, so there's my alibi. I just have to do it, like, right now."

Half of Buck's mouth wants to smile, but he doesn't think it really happens. Not judging from Eddie's expression. "I'm done with them. I don't want to ever see them again."

"Good."

He laughs, but it's going to tip over into crying every second. Tears are already lurking in the corners of his eyes.

Maybe Eddie can tell because he adds, "Sorry. I guess I wanted you to give up on them more than you did."

"I kind of thought I already did. I didn't know how much worse it could get."

"Do you want to talk about it? Drink about it?"

"I still don't know all the details. But the big takeaway is that they don't want me. They never did. I was supposed to save their first son, the one they actually loved, and when I couldn't, they wanted me to find him. And I couldn't do that either."

"Huh," says Eddie. "Fuck them."

Buck wipes at his eyes. "I know. I know! It's stupid."

"It's not stupid, Buck. You thought maybe there was a reason they were like this, and it would make you feel better."

"And there was a reason, but it made me feel worse."

"Yeah, that sucks. But it's not your fault, and it's on them."

"It was probably hard for them."

"So what? It's always hard. Being a parent is hard. That's not an excuse. They could have done better and they didn't. They could have tried."

"What if they tried and they sucked at it?"

Eddie leans back, looking up at the ceiling. "I know I say this a lot, but I remember how they were in El Paso. Abuela was hugging you and saying how great you were. They were there too, but it was like they didn't even hear. She said they must be proud and your dad said not really."

Buck winces. "Yeah, I don't remember that."

"That was kind of the worst part. You didn't even blink, you were so used to it. You should have heard her talking about it, she was mad at him for weeks."

"I'm really glad you had a crush on me," Buck blurts out.

Eddie blinks. "Okay."

"You probably wouldn't remember all this stuff otherwise."

"You were pretty memorable anyway, Buck." He pats Buck's knee as he stands. "You want to help with dinner?"

"Not gonna try to convince me to do it myself?"

"If you want to, go ahead. I figured you'd rather not tonight."

"I might just come sit in the kitchen," he says, feeling absolutely pathetic. "If that's okay."

Eddie doesn't even tease him, which is probably the best indication that his face still looks like an open wound. "Yeah, grab the Switch."

*

Eddie makes pasta with jarred red sauce and Buck barely tastes it, but that's not really anyone's fault. He offers to do the dishes and then insists he'll do them when Eddie tries to protest, and Eddie waits until he's done so they can both go get Christopher.

"Buck!" he says, when he sees Buck in the front seat. "I didn't know you were coming over."

"Yeah, I didn't tell you," says Buck, putting on the nicest smile he can manage and hoping it fits. "But I wanted to see you guys. Is that okay?"

"Yeah!"

"Buck had a bad day today," Eddie tells Chris, to Buck's surprise. "So we need to take care of him."

"Are you okay, Buck?"

He leans back in the seat, shutting his eyes. "I'm getting better. It's really good to see you."

"We can watch a movie when we get back. Or you can play with my Legos, if you want."

All at once, Buck realizes how easy it would be to be an asshole about this. To hear what Chris is offering and tell him no, that he can't help. That movies suck and Legos are boring. That there's nothing Chris can do because this is a big adult problem, and nothing he offers will be good enough.

Maybe Buck is just lucky that it's not true. Maybe if it was, it would be really hard to handle Chris's earnest concern. If he was wishing Chris was some other kid, maybe it would be unbearable.

But it's just too much to wrap his head around. He doesn't know how you could do that to a child, any child. Your child. Just a small, helpless person who has nowhere to go. He knows Chris isn't his, not in the full-time way he belongs to Eddie, but he's always wanted kids of his own. And he can't imagine doing to them what his parents did to him.

He'd do better. He'd have to work hard to do worse.

"I think a movie would be awesome," he tells Chris, smiling over his shoulder. "Thanks for looking out for me, buddy."

Chris generously lets Buck pick what they watch, which actually is kind of a tough call. There aren't a lot of kid-appropriate movies that have absolutely nothing to do with parents, so he settles on Wreck-It Ralph after a lot of browsing, because video games don't have families. And, yeah, he cries at the end, but he always cries at the end. He might cry a little more than usual, but Eddie and Chris are polite enough to not mention it. And Chris hugs him for literally the entire movie, while Eddie keeps his arm on the back of the couch, not quite around Buck's shoulders, but close enough he can feel warmth. A reminder that Eddie's here for him too.

They watch the full credits, like they always do, because Chris likes to see the Pac-Man screen at the end, and Buck realizes somewhere in the middle of the Japanese racing song that he's going to have to leave after this. Cosmo took off when they picked up Chris, presumably so that Chris wouldn't realize she could be brought from her apartment to his, so he won't be alone at his place. And Cosmo will probably even sleep with him tonight if he asks her to. He'll be fine.

Eddie takes his arm away to turn off the TV. "Okay, Chris, can you go brush your teeth? Buck and I need to go over to his place to get some stuff, but we'll be back in a couple minutes."

Unlike Buck, Christopher has no follow-up questions. He just says, "Okay!" and heads into the bathroom.

"What stuff?" asks Buck.

"You haven't wanted to be alone since I got back," Eddie says. "I'm not going to make you go home for the night. You can stay here."

"I love you," Buck says without thinking.

Eddie, somehow, doesn't even blink. "So let's go and get what you need for the night."

"I could go alone."

"Yeah, you could. Or Chris could brush his teeth alone. Only one of you is in crisis right now. I think he's got this."

Buck would love to argue that he's more capable of being left unsupervised than Chris is, but Eddie might have a point. Even with Eddie hanging out in the living room, scratching Cosmo's ears, Buck feels a little overwhelmed getting changed and brushing his own teeth. He grabs clothes for the morning too, and then feels the instant relief of having Eddie back in sight as soon as he leaves his bedroom.

"Good?" Eddie asks.

"Not really."

"Yeah, I guess not. Come on."

Buck hasn't ever spent the night at Eddie's, given that he lives only feet away and he's not sure it would be possible for him to get drunk enough he couldn't make it home without also passing out in a pool of his own vomit. Even now, knowing he needs it, he feels a bit pathetic over it, because obviously he could go home. He doesn't need to be here.

"Hey, Buck, will you read to me tonight?" Chris asks, before he can spiral too hard.

"What, he's here at bedtime and suddenly I'm not good enough for you?" Eddie demands.

"Yeah, duh."

So Buck reads to Chris while Eddie presumably brushes his own teeth and gets the couch set up for Buck. Chris only lasts about two-thirds of a chapter before he falls asleep against Buck's chest, and Buck can barely breathe with how much he loves this kid.

But his parents never felt that way looking at him, somehow. They couldn't have.

He finishes the chapter, just to be safe, then kisses Chris on the head and disentangles himself with deliberate care. Chris makes a soft noise, but doesn't wake up, just curls into his sheets, warm and safe and so loved. Loved enough his mother stayed for him. That Buck will too, for as long as Eddie will let him. And he's not jealous at all, to his relief. He wants every kid in the world to have that, even if he didn't.

"Goodnight, Chris," he murmurs, and turns the light off on the way out.

There are no sheets on the couch, but Eddie has changed into a t-shirt and shorts, and for a second Buck wants to curl up against him so much he can almost taste it.

He clears his throat instead. "Do you have sheets?"

Eddie glances up from his phone. "For what?"

"The couch."

"We're sharing the bed," he says, in a tone that welcomes neither argument nor commentary. "Come on, Buck," he adds, when Buck just sort of gapes about it. "If you're going to sleep on the couch, you might as well just sleep at your place."

There's an undeniable logic to that, but Buck's not exactly unbiased here. "You, uh--" He clears his throat. "You heard what I said earlier, right?"

"Which part?"

"That I'm in love with you."

Eddie freezes in a way that suggests maybe he didn't hear. But what he says is, "That's not actually what you said, Buck."

"Oh. Well, uh. That's what I meant, so maybe I should sleep on the couch."

That seems to snap Eddie out of whatever he's going through. "No, come on. We're sharing the bed, and we can talk about that when you're not…" He sort of waves at Buck's entire deal. "When you're feeling better."

"We don't have to wait that long," Buck protests, and Eddie snorts.

Buck's never really slept in someone's bed without sleeping with them first, which is not a great thing to realize as he's following Eddie into his room, but it's probably not that different. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to be in the bed instead of on the couch. He hadn't even realized the bed was an option, and now he's going to want to sleep there all the time.

"This is usually my side," Eddie says, unnecessarily. It's the side with a nightstand next to it and a book on there. Buck could have figured that one out.

"Yeah, this side works for me," he says, and makes himself climb in on the side without a nightstand. Eddie invited him! It's not weird that he's doing it. It's not. It's just like being in a hotel, except that Eddie is here.

He stares up at the ceiling and tries not to move at all.

"You need to talk about it more?" Eddie asks, into the deafening silence. Buck can feel the slight heat of him on the other side of the bed, not actually close enough to touch without doing it on purpose.

"I thought you wanted to wait."

"Not that. Your parents. What happened."

In the dark and the quiet, the prospect feels less daunting. "I asked them if they wanted to trade me for him. If that's why they wanted to find him. And they said no. But I asked if they would, and they didn't have an answer." A breath shakes out of him, rattling his lungs. "I know they had him first. I know it must have hurt to lose him. But I'm their son too, you know? How can they love him so much and not give a shit about me?"

The question hangs in the air for a moment, then Eddie murmurs, "Jesus, Buck." He clears his throat. "Because they suck, okay? Because they don't deserve you, and they never have. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I think that might be worse? Like, it would hurt if it was personal, but I spent like half my life trying to figure out what I did, how I could fix it. And there was nothing. I couldn't have ever done anything. It was always going to turn out the same way."

"Probably, yeah."

"And I keep thinking about Chris, you know?"

"About Chris?"

"What would I do, if someone said they'd take him. What would I do to keep him safe? I think I'd do almost anything."

Eddie is quiet for a long moment, and his voice is a little thick when he says, "You wouldn't do that, Buck. You wouldn't make a…a human sacrifice! Not even for Chris. I know you, okay? Even if you tried it, the second you met that new kid, you'd love them, too. Even if you did all the same things your parents did before you were born, you'd never be like them."

"Do you think I should try to find him?" Buck finally asks. "My brother."

"Do you think there's anything to find?"

"I don't know. I still don't even know what really happened. There's a curse on my family, kind of? I guess magic is real too and they didn't tell me." He rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I'd have to get them to tell me more if I was going to try."

"Charge them," says Eddie, flat, and Buck laughs a little. "I'm not joking. If they want your help, they can be clients. You don't owe them anything. You can tell them you'll look for him for five hundred bucks a day, plus expenses."

Buck doesn't have a response to that and Eddie huffs a sigh. "Listen, don't freak out about this, okay?"

It's on the tip of his tongue to say he's trying not to freak out about this, but before he's figured out how to phrase it, Eddie rolls over and throws an arm over Buck's chest. It's not quite cuddling, not the way girls have wrapped themselves around him before, but Eddie is a warm, solid presence, kind of like Cosmo had been on the couch, and something about the solid weight of his arm makes it easier to breathe.

This is probably why people like weighted blankets.

"Try to get some sleep, Buck," he says, his nose pressing into Buck's shoulder.

"Yeah," says Buck. "Thanks."

*
It would be nice if it was the best sleep of Buck's life just because he was sleeping with Eddie, if Eddie's arm on him was a ward against evil. But he keeps having nightmares about someone who looks like Christopher but who he knows, in the way you know things in dreams, is Daniel. Him being taken, screaming, into the dark. Some strange, unearthly being saying that Buck can trade himself for the boy, and if he doesn't, what kind of person is he?

But every time he wakes up, Eddie has shifted closer. Every time he tries to jolt out of bed in a cold sweat, Eddie makes a sleepy noise of protest and his hand tightens in Buck's shirt.

Around three, Buck finally gives in and rolls over to wrap himself around Eddie, holding onto him like a lifeline. He matches Eddie's breaths until he falls asleep again, and when he dreams of Maddie's unborn son falling into a giant gaping mouth, at least he doesn't want to scream when he wakes up.

At five-fourteen, he gives up on sleeping. He disentangles himself from Eddie with some regret and rolls out of bed. It's too early for Chris to be up and the thought of coffee makes his stomach turn, so he goes back to his place to make a mug of tea instead. Being alone at least doesn't fill him with as much anxiety as it did yesterday, so that's something. And he and Eddie both have a shift starting at eight, so that'll be a distraction.

Eddie's alarm goes off at six-forty-five, when Buck is in the living room with his second mug of tea and his now-thriving Stardew Valley farm. The alarm shuts off immediately, and then Eddie is staggering out, wild-eyed and panicked, and he doesn't relax until he sees Buck.

"Oh, good."

Buck raises his mug. "Sorry. I made it to like five."

"Could be worse." Eddie rubs his face. "If you want something other than cereal, you're making it. I'm going to shower and wake up Chris. Carla will be here at seven-thirty, but I usually feed him first."

Buck goes to the kitchen to start coffee, then finds that Eddie has everything he needs for pancakes and gets those started. The motions are easy to go through, and Buck's mind stays blank and uncomplicated, not thinking about his parents or Eddie or anything until he feels Eddie's hand on his arm.

"I think that's enough pancakes, Buck," he says, gentle, and Buck sees the plate is stacked with more food than the three of them can possibly eat.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'll put the rest of the batter in the fridge, it'll keep."

Eddie squeezes his arm, just once, and then lets go. "Thanks for cooking."

I'm in love with you, Buck thinks, and wonders when they're going to talk about it.

Carla relieves them at seven-thirty sharp, and Chris gives Buck the tightest hug he's ever gotten before they take off, whispers, "I hope you feel better," in his ear.

Eddie drives them to work, which is safer for everyone, and Buck tries to figure out what to say.

"Thanks for last night," he finally goes with.

"You'd do the same for me. And for Christopher. Of course I've got your back, Buck."

It's not exactly I love you, too. But it's not bad, either.

Chim is clearly waiting for them when they get in, which Buck should have seen coming. He doesn't bother with a greeting, just, "Please text your sister, I can't actually help with this."

"What did she tell you?" Buck asks. His phone has been silenced since last night, he's only now realizing.

"Nothing specific. Just that your parents came to town, things were said, they're even worse than she thought, and she's worried about you."

He has a lot of texts from Maddie, two from Chim, even one from Bobby, although that doesn't seem to be related.

Please just talk to me, Evan, is Maddie's last text, from this morning, and bile rises in his throat.

I never want to be called Evan again, he says, and her reply comes back instantly.

Okay, Buck.

*

They text off and on, when Buck has time between calls. Their parents have been trying to convince Maddie to convince Buck to get him to give them another chance to explain "properly," but Maddie has remained firm that this is Buck's call and she won't be intervening on their behalf, and they're lucky she's still talking to them. It seems to mostly be to run interference, and if it keeps them off his back, he's grateful for it.

Buck tells her that he's doing okay, which he thinks is probably even true. Not good, but not terrible either. There are enough calls to keep him busy, and Eddie sticks to his side as much as possible, a concerned, benevolent shadow, doing his best to make sure that Buck doesn't obviously spiral. It's mostly helpful, except for the way Buck can't help thinking it's just guilt, that Eddie feels bad for him because his parents suck and his entire life was a lie and he's in unrequited love with, well, Eddie.

Around midnight, they end up in a haunted house. Not because it's haunted, of course, but there was some noise and what sounded like a scream, so a neighbor called for a wellness check. It's an older woman, at least eighty, who fell down the stairs, not in critical condition yet, but she probably wouldn't have made it if the call hadn't come in. Buck lets the rest of them work as he hangs back with the ghost, an anxious kid, probably about fourteen or fifteen when he died.

She's my sister, the ghost tells him, in the way ghosts can sometimes talk to him. I take care of her.

Buck glances around. Eddie is watching him, a shrewd look in his eye, but everyone else is busy. "You did take care of her. Hard to have a longer life than she already has. And we got to her in time. She's going to be fine."

Not forever.

"No one's fine forever," Buck points out. "And, you know, it'll be a lot easier when she moves on to whatever comes next if her big brother is there to help her settle in. She'll need you there even more."

"You okay, Buckley?" Garcia calls, and Buck tries not to wince. Is it hard to change your name? Maybe he could legally just be Buck. Like Prince.

"Yeah, fine, sorry!" he calls back, watching as the ghost goes to say goodbye to his sister on the gurney before he drifts apart. "What do you need?"

"All set," says Eddie. "Come on, we're heading back."

Buck jogs over to join them, and Eddie nudges his shoulder.

"Someone else here?" he asks, low.

"Not anymore. You could tell?"

"You were kind of off in the corner, talking to nothing," Eddie says, not unkindly. "You're pretty good at looking casual about it, but…"

But Eddie knows him and knows what he can do. Of course Eddie could tell.

It's actually kind of nice. Eddie can cover for him.

"Like I said, he's gone now."

"And you're good?"

"Pretty used to it."

"Yeah, but it's your first one since…"

It does feel a little different. Obviously that ghost didn't have anything to do with Daniel, but maybe he's always going to remember the brother he barely knew when he does this from now on. Even when it's not siblings.

"I'm doing a lot better," he says, and that's true too.

Eddie studies him for a minute, but then he nods. "Okay, good."

In theory, Buck's supposed to be sleeping once they get back to the station. He knows he should catch whatever sleep he can get. But he's thinking about the ghost, who must have stayed for decades and decades, watching out for his sister. He was just a kid when he died, but he still knew he was the older brother.

Maybe Daniel would be like that too. Maybe he's glad Buck survived, and that Buck is doing okay. Maybe if someone asked him, he would have given himself up for his baby brother anyway. Maybe it's what he would have wanted.

Eddie sits down next to him on the couch, pressing a mug against his leg. Buck sniffs it; herbal tea, nothing that will keep him up, but nothing that will put him to sleep either.

"You know, when I told you how I realized I was bi in high school, I was hoping you were going to have a story like that. Or just that you were going to say you liked guys too. And then you didn't, so I figured, you know. You wouldn't be interested, so I should stop being interested in you."

Buck blinks a few times, takes a sip of the tea. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah," says Eddie. "It didn't work."

"No?"

"Nope. I couldn't stop. Honestly, it just keeps getting worse and worse."

"Being interested in me," says Buck, like there's something else Eddie could possibly be talking about it.

"Yeah. So, you should try to get some sleep. And you should come back to my place when we're done here."

"I was going to drink my tea first," says Buck, his heart racing stupidly, giddily fast.

"Okay," he says. "Then I'll sleep here."

He puts his head on Buck's shoulder and closes his eyes. Buck glances around, but it's dark and quiet and private, just the two of them not in the bunks. He leans down to press a kiss into Eddie's hair, which is a little stiff with whatever product he uses, but under that he can feel warm skin and smell Eddie. And it's a thrill just to do it, to be able to.

"Wake me up if you move," Eddie mumbles, and then he's asleep.

*

Chimney saying, "I think this is my new wallpaper," wakes Buck up. He blinks into awareness, realizing he never left the couch, Eddie's head never left his shoulder, they've been slumped together for however long they've been sleeping, and Chimney is taking pictures. He holds his hand up in an automatic attempt to shield them from the camera, but he's not even sure why. The damage has clearly been done.

"Oh, that's a nice one," says Hen, looking over Chim's shoulder. "Send me that. Rise and shine, Diaz," she adds.

Eddie startles awake, but he catches up as fast as Buck did. "Oh, hey. Good morning."

"You know they already think we're weird because of the ghost-hunting thing, right?" Chim asks. "We don't need to add to that."

"I don't think we can help adding to it," says Hen, taking the spot next to Buck while Chim sits next to Eddie. "How are you doing, Buckaroo? I heard something happened with your parents."

Buck leans forward to shoot a look at Chim, who shows absolutely zero remorse. "I tell Hen everything. You want to keep your secrets safe from her, keep them safe from me first."

"I didn't tell you either."

"He told me," says Eddie, like this will somehow help.

"To the surprise of no one," says Chim.

Hen nudges Buck, ignoring the two of them. "Seriously. Are you okay?"

Buck takes stock of himself. As fucked up as it is, he slept better on the couch than he had in the bed last night. Eddie is still half-leaning on him, and his head feels a little less foggy. The world is in sharper focus.

"My parents are even worse than I thought. I'll tell you about it next time we've got the team together. But yeah. I'm doing okay."

"Anything we can do?"

"Chim can stop flirting with my sister," he says, mostly to make her laugh.

"I'm not flirting! I'm befriending. I'm befriending your sister."

"He's flirting," says Hen. "He just calls it befriending because she's not flirting back."

"Not flirting back yet," Chim says. "And if she never does, I will still have a wonderful new friend. It's win-win!"

Buck's trying to decide if he wants to try to menace Chim a little more when the alarm starts to blare. It's a minor traffic pileup, messier than it is fatal, and by the time they've got it sorted out, their shift is over. They get changed and he and Eddie leave together, and even though it's nothing special, Buck can't help feeling like he's getting away with something. Are they even allowed to date? There's probably some rule about disclosure.

"Do we have something to disclose?" he asks, halfway back to their apartment building. They're stuck in traffic and his mind is working overtime on the Eddie thing because it's actually fun to think about, unlike the rest of his life.

"Huh?"

"Don't you have to, like, tell HR if you're dating someone you're working with?"

"Yeah, eventually. I don't think we have to be in a hurry. We only work there some of the time anyway." He frowns. "We should tell the producers, too."

"But that is what you were saying, right? That we have something to disclose." It's like a disease, not being able to shut up.

"Yeah, Buck. That's what I was saying."

He nods. "Have you--have you ever dated a guy before?"

"No. Have you?"

"No, but I made out with one at a bar a few weeks ago."

"Really?"

Buck shifts a little. "I was trying to figure it out. If I actually liked guys. I didn't want to tell you I was interested and then I tried to kiss you and it didn't work or something. Not that it worked with him! But just because I wanted to be kissing you instead."

They roll to a halt again after moving forward about fifteen feet, and Eddie takes the opportunity to look at him. "Buck?"

"Yeah?"

Eddie seems on the verge of saying something, but then he leans over the center console and presses his lips against Buck's. It's quick, barely a kiss, but it gets the point across and he's driving again before anyone starts honking.

"I just checked, I like it too."

Buck lets out a surprised laugh. "Okay, but that wasn't making out."

"I'm not going to make out with you in the middle of traffic. I don't want to get rear-ended. Don't say it," he adds, as soon as Buck opens his mouth.

"I just think that really wasn't a fair check, and we should probably check more. Like, a lot more. Next time Christopher isn't around."

Eddie laughs. "So you really are feeling better."

"I'm not going to say I'm feeling 100%. But yeah." He leans back. "I don't know, it still sucks. It's probably going to suck forever? But it would have sucked anyway, and at least now I know. And no matter how bad the answer was, I think I'd rather know."

"Then I'm happy for you."

"And I think you're right. If I ever decide I'm willing to help them, I'm going to give them a daily rate and see what they say."

"Awesome. Can I be there when you tell them?"

"Oh, definitely." He bites his lip. "Is Chris home now?"

"He should be. I'm taking him to Kyle's house at one and then picking him up before dinner."

"Then would you be okay with me going to talk to Maddie when we get back? I know I said I'd come over, but…"

"It's fine." He shoots Buck a grin. "But if Chris starts noticing you're only around when he isn't home, he's going to be upset."

"I will be back before one. And I will hang out with Christopher the whole time, because he's actually my favorite Diaz."

"Yeah, I know."

He texts Maddie once they get through the worst of the congestion to let her know that he's coming to visit unless their parents are there, and she swears they aren't. So either they really aren't there, or he has to be done with Maddie too.

Once Eddie has parked and they're out of the car, Buck pushes him up against the driver-side door and really kisses him. It takes a second for him to catch up, but as soon as he does, he's in, his hands bunching in the fabric of Buck's shirt to pull him closer and his mouth opening for Buck to lick into. It's so, so much better than kissing that guy at the bar, and even than the girls Buck has kissed.

He should have tried making out with people he actually had feelings for years ago. It really makes such a difference.

When he pulls back, Eddie looks a little dazed and very thoroughly kissed, and Buck has to lean in for one more quick one before he steps back to collect himself.

"That was making out," he says.

"Yeah, thanks for clearing that up, Buck." The sarcasm mostly lands, but he's losing the fight against a huge, sappy grin, which is a way bigger accomplishment.

He takes Eddie's hand as they're walking too, mostly to see what he'll do, and the answer is that he'll hold Buck's hand.

The elevator stops at three and only then does Eddie let go. "You're coming down for lunch?"

"Yeah. I'll bring Maddie, if she wants to come. I know Chris likes to check on her."

"Sounds good."

He kisses Buck before he steps out, fast again, and Buck hopes that at some point, Eddie will kiss him and linger.

Admittedly, it seems pretty likely.

Buck rides the elevator up two more floors to five and knocks on Maddie's door. His improved mood drops immediately when he sees her, eyes red, hair a mess, looking on the verge of tears.

He's gathering her up into a hug before the door is even closed. She laughs as he does it, but it's a familiar, watery kind of laugh. One that could go wrong any minute.

"I'm okay," she protests. "I'm worried about you!"

"I'm okay too. And I'm sorry for going radio silent. I just needed some space."

She pulls back so she can study his face. "Wow, you really are okay, aren't you?"

"At least for now. I got some sleep and made out with Eddie, that helped a lot."

Her eyes widen, but then she smiles. "Turning childhood trauma into a hookup? Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed, but…"

"I like him, Mads. I did before Philip and Margaret showed up. I'm not spiraling." He pauses. "Okay, there might be some spiraling. But that's separate from Eddie. Totally unrelated."

She looks at him for another long minute. "I actually believe you."

"Thanks." He rubs the back of his neck. "Did they leave town yet?"

"I don't think so. They feel bad."

"Yeah, they should."

"I know. It's just kind of…amazing, honestly. I don't think they had any idea, Buck. I don't think they knew they'd done anything wrong, and now they're suddenly realizing how badly they screwed up."

"You don't feel bad for them, do you?"

"No, I don't think so. But I'm surprised, I guess? I thought they knew. I thought I'd told them. But I guess they didn't believe me. And I can't help thinking maybe if I'd explained it better…"

"Hey, it's not your fault. What's that saying? You can lead a horse to water, or whatever. If they didn't know, it's because they didn't want to know."

It sounds like something Eddie would tell him, which is probably a good sign. He thinks Eddie is probably more right about his parents than not.

"Do you think he's still around somewhere?" he finds himself asking. "Daniel, I mean."

"No. I couldn't, I guess. I knew Mom and Dad wanted to think that, but that didn't help me. I tried to just mourn him and move on."

Buck frowns. "I kind of forgot about that. That you knew him."

"My first baby brother," she says, with a small smile. "I miss him. But I can miss him and still love you."

"Yeah, that's what normal people do." He exhales, makes himself say it to her, just to be sure. "There was nothing I could do, right? If I'd been different, if I'd been better…"

She squeezes his arm. "Buck. No. This wasn't about…"

Maddie clearly doesn't want to actually say it, but Buck can. "It wasn't about me. My whole life wasn't even about me."

"Of course it was!" It's so rare to hear her raise her voice that he jumps a little. "Their lives weren't, Buck, and I'm sorry for that. But your life has always been about you. It's your life. You can make it about whatever you want. They can't take that away from you anymore."

The words hit like a punch to the throat, leaving him breathless. Maddie is still gripping his arm, like she can make the words sink in through sheer physical force, and he loves her for that. He still has a family. A bigger family, even. A better one.

"I want it to be about going downstairs to have lunch with Eddie and Christopher," he says, and it's true. That sounds like absolutely the best life he could be having right now. "You want to come?"

"I do," she says. "Now that you and Eddie are officially a thing, I have to ask him about his intentions toward my little brother."

Buck snorts and holds the door open for her. "Yeah, well, you can't do that at lunch. We haven't told Christopher yet."

"But you're planning to tell him?" Maddie asks. "It's that serious?"

"Obviously," Buck says, without even thinking about it.

"Oh, obviously," she teases. She loops her arm in his. "I'm really happy for you, Buck."

"I'm…getting there," he says, a smile spreading on his face. "But yeah. I think I'm gonna be good."

*

For the second season, Buck convinces the producers to send them screeners ahead of the episode premiere dates so the parents can decide if their kids are allowed to join the watch party. Athena checks the first episode on behalf of the group and deems it unobjectionable, so Chris is allowed to come along with Buck and Eddie as they head over to the Grant-Nash household for the premiere.

(Maddie is driving over with Chim, because she was hanging out at his place, and Buck really is happy for her. She deserves something good.)

"Are you two going to be boyfriends on the show too?" Chris asks.

"Uh, not yet," Buck says, since Eddie is driving. "We didn't start dating until after this season finished filming. Maybe next season."

"Maybe," says Eddie. "But I think they'll want people to think Buck is single. Because he's so handsome."

"Oh, I'm handsome?"

Eddie shoots him a quick, amused look. "Why are you acting like that's an insult? I'm complimenting you."

"Anyway," says Buck. "We told the producers we're together, so I guess they can decide what they want to do with it. But not until next season."

And Buck really thinks he's telling the truth with that one. It's just that, as it turns out, he's never actually seen how he looks at Eddie, or heard how he talks about Eddie, or had any real awareness of how he is around Eddie.

It's really good they figured this whole thing out before the show started airing. Buck can't think of anything more embarrassing than finding out he was in love with his best friend from watching himself on TV.

At least Eddie is also kind of obvious about it, albeit not as obvious as Buck. Or maybe he's just better at reading himself, and this is exactly as mortifying for Eddie as it is for him. He can check on that later.

"See, this is why I thought you were dating," says Chim, as on-screen Buck shares a fun fact about lobsters for reasons he no longer remembers and Eddie watches indulgently. Which is actually kind of nice, because at least it's not during one of the scenes where Buck is looking at Eddie like he's an ice cream sundae on a hot summer day.

"They are dating," Chris says.

"Kid makes a good point," says Eddie.

On the TV, Eddie is talking to the camera while, in the background, Buck climbs a tree to rescue a kid's balloon. It hadn't been planned, as far as he knows, just a lucky coincidence. The kid had been excited to have the rescue caught on film and his dad had been excited to do anything that would prevent a meltdown.

Buck hadn't realized Eddie had been doing narration.

"What he lacks in grace, he makes up for in tenacity," Eddie is saying as Buck's foot slips on the tree bark and he nearly hits his chin on a branch. "Good job, Buck!" he calls, and Buck waves awkwardly over his shoulder. "See, this is why I'm here. He definitely needs backup."

The camera cuts to a closer shot of Buck in the tree, which Buck now knows means that they're cutting away from someone prompting Eddie with a question. When they cut back, Eddie is rubbing his chin.

"He doesn't like talking about it much, but we were in high school when we first met. When he was still doing amateur ghost-hunting with his parents."

The mention of the Buckleys doesn't hurt anymore, just sort of twinges, like he thinks people's scars do when it's going to rain. He'd love it if he had no reaction at all, but he's probably not that kind of person. He's always going to wish things were different with them. But he's done trying to make it happen.

"He definitely made an impression. He wasn't the first one my grandmother talked to. She had a long line of people coming in to try to help, and he was the only one who actually did anything. Definitely the best of the con artists she tried." The TV Eddie frowns. "Can I say that? I guess I did. Anyway, I liked him. Enough that I said I'd work with him. And that I'm going to go get him out of that tree. Excuse me."

Buck settles in a little more comfortably against Eddie's side, smiling as, on the screen, Eddie helps him clamber down with balloon in hand. Maybe having video evidence of how much his boyfriend likes him isn't the worst thing in the world. Even with Chimney cracking jokes and everyone else, even Bobby, laughing along with him.

Buck doesn't mind at all, actually. He could do this forever.