Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Diluc
Kys

Childe
See?
He loves me

Diluc
I will bitch slap you into the next dimension

Aventurine
💀

Venti
Aventurine hiiiii

Aventurine
Hiiiii

Ningguang
I don't know 98% of these people
Who are you
Why am i here

Venti
Hi Ningguang! :D
These are my friends
Now your friends too

Kaeya
Our friends

Blade

Aventurine
Kaeya communist 😨

Amber
I did not expect this from you

March
Smh

Firefly
Hi March

March
Hi firefly

Firefly
Who are these people and why did they add me

March
Idk lol I don't think I know half of them

Guinaifen
Hiiiiiiiiii! :D
I'm Guinaifen
LilGuiGuinevere on Ghostly Grove, Twitch, Instagram, Youtube and Tiktok
If you like spooky things or ghost related stuff, here's a link to my carrd
Little Gui's Carrd

Seele
Shameless self promo

Guinaifen
Yes

Keqing
I wish i was that confident

Sushang
Mood

Kaveh
Y'ALL
SO
I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO CHUCK E CHEESE RIGHT

Kaeya
Wrong gc 💀

Sampo
No no pls go on

Alhaitham
Pls do not

Hu Tao
I am very interested
What happened at chuck e cheese?

Lumine
Guys

Hu Tao
Hush lumine this is important

Lumine
Guys
Um so
Did you get your schedules yet

Kaeya
I got mine
Didn't look at it though

Lumine
They assigned us dorm-mates
There should be another slip of paper stapled to the schedule which tells ur dorm room and dorm mate

Childe
Weren't we already assigned tho?

Lumine
They changed it
Idk why

Childe
We're literally in junior year now why now 💀

Lumine
You*

Childe
They want to separate me from my husband <\3
Haters

Kaeya
<\3

Childe
Look at the paper first

Kaeya
I already did, it's not you bbg 😔💔

Childe
💔

Venti
Question is
Who is it

Kaeya
Idk them i think it's a newcomer

Lumine
The name dumbass

Kaeya
Somebody called jing yuan

Venti
YOU ARE ROOMING WITH JING YUAN
AND NOT ME
WHAT IS THIS RACISM
SEXISM
MISOGYNY
MISANDRY
COLORISM
TRANSPHOBIA
HOMOPHOBIA
XENOPHOBIA

Amber
💀

Stelle
Hi

Firefly
Stelle hiiii

Stelle
Hiii
Whats going on

Aventurine
Dorm assignment
Did you get ur schedule yet

Stelle
Yes
But what does my schedule have to do with anything

Keqing
Look at the back

Stelle
The back?
Oh
Im assigned with somebody called sparkle???
Who tf names their kid sparkle

Kaeya
Oh my god 💀

Childe
💀

Aether
💀

Stelle
?????

Bennett
HIIIIIII

Venti
BENNYYYYYYYY

Bennett
Hello :D
Whats this
Don't we have like 90 gcs already

Venti
Every gc serves a different purpose

Lumine
3 am thoughts
Powerpuff gays
Skibidi rizz
Ganyu the capper
Drug dealer + children
Kaeya's cringe era
Crisis
Crisis 2
Crisis 3
Crisis 4
Tweaking
Confidential information
Tea
Gossipy whores + sucrose
Shower thoughts
Minus aether
Minus childe
Minus diluc
Minus keqing
Minus kaeluc
Should i go on?
I think there's more with minus lumine and others im not in
Now we need a minus venti

Serval
DRUG DEALER PLUS CHILDREN??????

Venti
We don't need a minus venti

Serval
YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION

Lumine
We do need a minus venti to make it fair

Serval
HELLO??????

Zhongli
Hello
Have I come at a wrong time?

Venti
ZHONGLIIIIIIIIII
MY BESTIE
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
THE APPLE OF MY EYES
MY SOULMATE

Zhongli
Hello venti

Aventurine
You're cheating on me????

Venti
Babe i can explain

Aether
Baby i would never do this to you

Aventurine
I know bbg <3
Venti you are no longer my pookie
I disown you
This marriage is over

Venti
:0
:(
<\3

Seele
Damn

Stelle
Tragic

Diluc
Top ten saddest anime betrayals

Keqing
DILUC??????

Ganyu
DILUC????? 💀💀💀

Amber
Are my eyes betraying me 💀

Kaeya
💀

Childe
Don't you love some salt on the wounds

Lumine
Um no
Not everybody is a masochist like you

Childe
DAMN WHY DO YOU HATE ME

Mona
He didn't deny it 💀

Childe
Your daily allowance stops today

Mona
NOOOOII IM SORRY
PLS DON'T CUT MY DAILY ALLOWANCE

Venti
Mona gets daily allowance and i don't????

Childe
You cheated on me

Venti
Babe that was one time-

Childe
And kaeya

Kaeya
And kaeya

Aventurine
And Aventurine

Aether
And aether

Jing Liu
Wtf did i walk into
Also
Who added me

Blade
Hi

Jing Liu
Die

Blade
:(

Jing Liu
Sorry don't die

Blade
No pls kill me

Caelus
Great we have another suicidal person in this household

Lumine
Another????

Caelus
Aether

Aether
?????????

Diluc
He does it to be edgy

Kaeya
LOOK WHO'S THAT COMING FROM 💀

Diluc
Stfu
Kys

Kaeya
Kill me yourself <3

Lumine
Didn't he almost do that 💀

Childe
Girlie oh my god 💀

Aether
💀

Venti
...💀

Diluc
...

Kaeya
We don't talk about that 💀

Lumine
Aight my bad

Venti
Jing liu hi! :D

Jing Liu
Who are you

Aether
LMAO

Venti
Im in your botany class

Jing Liu
There's 21 people in my botany class

Venti
The guy that wears green everyday

Jing Liu
The venti sized kid?
Or smth
Can't remember his name

Childe
VENTI SIZED HSHAHAHAHAHHSHAHAHHSH

Kaeya
LMFAOOOOOO

Lumine
💀

Childe
💀

Venti sized
Moving on

Bronya
By bts

Venti sized
Stfu

Bronya
:(

Seele
Venti.

Venti sized
Im sorry bronya pls don't stfu

Dan Heng
?
Why another group chat?
Who are these people?
@Caelus

Venti sized
Wait i didn't add you
Who are you

Silverwolf
I did

Venti sized
Ok explains

March
Why is silverwolf here

Silverwolf
Why can't I be?

Blade
No one likes you

Stelle
💀

Silverwolf
Okay wow
I came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

Lumine
Ok anyway
Shouldn't we get introduced first to avoid confusion?

Silverwolf
Stfu lumina

Aether
LUMINA

Venti sized
LMAOOOOOOOOOO

Lumine
This is exactly why no one likes you

Silverwolf
:(

Venti sized
@Sunday

Kaeya
Why did you @ him 💀

Venti sized
He's hot

Aventurine
This is exactly why you are no longer a part of this marriage

Venti sized
😭💔

Zhongli
Venti is married?

Aventurine
Was

Venti sized
Babe don't do this to me

Aventurine
Too bad too late

Venti sized
Heart been broke so many times i don't know what to believe

Keqing
Venti is not married and neither are the rest of these idiots
They're just weird like that
Each one of them are bitchless
They flirt with each other to cope

Aether
Ouch 💔

Zhongli
Bitchless..?

Ganyu
It means not having a partner
Usually used as a lighthearted insult to imply that a person is too unappealing to be in a relationship

Sushang
Oh my god we legit have a boomer in chat

Himeko
Sushang, be nice

Sushang
Yes mommy

Himeko
???

Lumine
Same ngl

Caelus
Can the lesbians ever stop flirting in chat

Stelle
Says you

Caelus
I DO NOT FLIRT

Aether
Ok caelus that's just a blatant lie

Childe
Blatant 🤓☝

Aether
It's not my fault ur illiterate with a limited vocabulary

Boothill 
DAMN 💀

Silverwolf
Ok who are you
I didn't add you

Venti sized
I didn't either????

Aventurine
I did

Venti sized
How tf do you have mods

Aventurine
:)

Childe
:( 💔

Xiao
Pathetic

Ganyu
Why do you hate child

Kaeya
Child 💀

Ganyu
Childe*

Xiao
He's ginger

Thoma
WHY DO YOU HATE ME

Xiao
Blonde childe

Aether
LMAOOOOOOOO

Lumine
💀

Mona
💀

Jean
Oh my god 💀

Lyney

Xiao
Oh no it's shorter aventurine

Kaeya
SHORTER AVENTURINE

Aventurine
LISTEN HERE DEHYDRATED WOODCOCK

Lumine
DEHYDRATED WHAT

Aventurine
YOU ARE SHORTER THAN SUCROSE
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO CALL ANYONE SHORT

Ratio
Aventurine said calmly with all of his 165 centimetres.

Kaeya
💀

Childe
BYE

Stelle
Bro no way ratio texted to say that 💀

Silverwolf
Ok ignoring that
Who is boothill
@Boothill who are you

Boothill
Im boothill

Aether
Who tf names their kid boothill

Boothill
My parents 💔

Childe
Felt

Aether
YOU HAVE SUCH A COOL ASS NAME WDYM

Firefly
How is childe in any way cool 💀

Kaeya
His real name is ajax

Childe
We don't talk about ajax

Stelle
Why?

Childe
Ajax was an idiot

Aether
Felt

Lumine
Wdym felt you are still the aether you were 10 years ago

Aether
OKAY THAT JUST HURT SO BAD STFU

Venti sized
Girlie ur just proving it urself

Aether
This is exactly why we're divorced

Venti sized 
STOP RBIS

Lumine
I love watching venti suffer

Aventurine
Sadist

Lumine
Yes

Aventurine
Same

Childe
Aventurine you are a masochist

Aventurine
Sadomasochist

Kaeya
Same

Amber
Okay how tf does childe know that 💀

Aventurine
🤐

Childe
🤐

Sunday
Why is this what i walk into

Venti sized
SUNDAY HIIIII

Sunday
Hello..?

Lumine
Venti i am thoroughly embarrassed of you

Kaeya
You get used to it

Diluc
You are equally embarrassing

Kaeya
You too <3

Childe
Ok im outside xiao's dorm rn and
There's no xiao

Xiao
The dorms changed idiot

Childe
You had to move out of your dorm?

Xiao
Yes
You didn't?

Childe
No

Lumine
Who are you rooming with?

Aventurine
Me <3

Aether
WHAT NO THIS IS NOT FAIR

Childe
Sad

Venti sized
Kae is rooming with jing yuan and Aventurine and childe are rooming together 💔
Do i at least get aether or zhongli

Lumine
💀

Aether
💀💀

Zhongli
Aether and I are rooming together

Bennett
LMAOOOOOOOOO

Venti sized
This world hates me
Diluc?

Diluc
Even if i was rooming with you, id move out

Venti sized
:O
💔

Kaeya
Who are you rooming with

Diluc
Somebody called dan heng

Ganyu
Who is venti rooming with?

Venti sized
I didn't get my schedule yet

Lumine
Then get it

Venti sized
Lol too lazy
Xiao can u get it for me

Xiao
No

Venti sized
💔

Diluc
Top 10 saddest anime deaths

Lisa
💀

Aether
Guys do you think we're being too harsh

Aventurine
No 
He cheated on us with fucking sunday
It was okay up to jing yuan

Sunday
What do you have against me

Ratio
A lot

Lumine
????????

Stelle
HELLO, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE AFTER SAYING THAT

Topaz
Oh no aventurine is here

Aventurine
I breathed

Topaz
That's a crime
Stop breathing

Aventurine
No

Topaz
Kys

Aventurine
No

Lumine
No but what does Aventurine have against Sunday

Aventurine
A lot

Lumine
A lot what????

Aventurine
Now if i told you what it was it won't be a secret anymore would it

Jing Yuan
Hello

Venti sized
JING YUAN HIIIIIII

Xiao
You are pathetic

Jing Yuan
Hi venti

Venti sized
He said hi to me and not you

Ganyu
💀

Jing Yuan
What's this?
Why am I here?

Venti sized
It's just a bunch of my friends and their friends and stuff
Expanding the friend group

Lumine
You mean cult
Way too many ppl

Venti
We'll just gradually remove the ones that don't talk at all

Kaeya
How discriminatory

Diluc
So all i have to do is shut up for a few weeks

Venti
What makes you think id ever remove you

Diluc
You wouldn't
You enjoy my suffering too much

Childe
This is such a toxic relationship

Kaeya
Venti is the toxic boyfriend

Childe
Diluc is the attached girlfriend

Kaeya
He couldn't leave even after all the abuse and manipulation

Childe
He started enjoying getting exploited as long as it was venti

Kaeya
Venti always took full advantage of that

Childe
Despite knowing what was going on, diluc still stuck with him

Kaeya
In a way, diluc was toxic as well

Childe
And he fell in love with that toxicity

Kaeya
Embracing it

Childe
As a part of himself

Kaeya
Until he became it

Childe
Until he lost himself

Kaeya
And he never wanted to be found again

Childe
Because he had venti

Kaeya
Forever

Diluc
What the fuck is wrong with you two

Kaeya
Everything

Diluc
This is exactly why zhongli > you

Kaeya
Ouch i put you higher than childe how could you do this to me

Childe
He put you higher than me

Diluc
You are at the bottom of my list

Childe
D: <\3

Aether
Emotional damage
Anyway
@Kaveh update?

Hu Tao
He's dead

Kaeya
Oh cool

-------
Me? The mvp of not knowing how to end chapters? 

Chapter Text

March
Class <\3

Stelle
Which class

March
Bio
You

Stelle
Calc 💀

March
💀

Stelle
Dw i have zhongli

March
I have dan heng

Dan Heng
No

March
DON'T DO THIS TO ME I WILL FAIL

Dan Heng
Then you will fail

Aventurine
Ruthless

Lumine
@Aventurine how do you have straight a's, you never study

Aventurine
Magic

Stelle
Ratio and topaz probably or he flirts with other students

Aether
Slut

Aventurine
Jokes on you im into that

Aether
Ik <3

Aventurine
<3

Lumine
DISGUSTING

Aether
That is exactly how i feel when lesbians flirt in the chat

Black Swan
Jealousy is a disease

Aether
Then that makes me a patient 

Black Swan
💀

Keqing
I suggest not trying to reason with the following specimens: Aventurine, Childe, Aether, Kaeya, Venti, Caelus, Stelle

Caelus
HEY WHY ME

Stelle
NO WAIT WHY ME

Ganyu
Are you really asking 💀

Stelle
YES??????

Kaeya
Ok guys
Listen

Diluc
No

Kaeya
Ignoring frogman

Lumine
FROGMAN????

Amber
I thought he was barman

Childe
Barman

Amber
Batman*

Childe
No he's barman too

Kaeya
Oh that reminds me
Why didn't you go to work yesterday

Diluc
Assignments

Kaeya
Oh

Stelle
You're a barman too?

Childe
No we just go to his workplace sometimes
And he's a bartender

Stelle
What's the difference

Zhongli
There's no difference

Childe
Really?

Zhongli
Yes
Bartender, barman, barkeeper, mixologist; all mean the same thing.

Lumine
Isn't ur coworker that hot dude with stubble
Forgot his name
He has like neck length hair or smth

Diluc
Gallagher

Aether
Aren't you lesbian

Lumine
Yes
And

Sparkle
Help why is blade here 💀

Caelus
Where?

Sushang
No joke he's sitting right behind me

Aether
Why is blade in the first years class 💀

Jing Yuan
Send a pic

Sushang
[Image attached]

Dan Heng
💀

Stelle
He looks so dead

Sushang
Gui told him and i quote "this is the first years class. are you lost?"

Caelus
💀

Stelle
Gui and blade have never spoken before 💀

Sushang
IKKKKK
THAT'S WHY IT'S SO FUNNY

Jingliu
Where is your class

Sushang
203

Jingliu
Alright I'll be there in a bit

Stelle
Jingliu the mom

Lumine
@Jingliu come to my class too

Jing Yuan
JINGLIU ALMOST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS HELP 💀

Stelle
💀

Caelus
Why are you with Jingliu

Jing Yuan
I decided to be a good friend and help my good friend drag our good friend out

Dan Heng
He wanted to look at blade's stupid expression for himself

Hu Tao
@Lumine you are hot

Lumine
SKKSKDKSKDHJD???????

Childe
Doesn't hu tao have a gf

Hu Tao
And

Yanfei
Lumine is hot

Kaeya
Hu Tao x Yanfei x Lumine?

Lumine
SHUT UP

Hu Tao
Yes

Yanfei
No slow burn

Hu Tao
Porn without plot

Aventurine
AYOOOOOOOOOO

Lumine
WHAT

Hu Tao
What

Amber
Have i ever seen lumine this red before

Lumine
SHUT UP AMBER

Amber
Isn't hu tao a minor

Yanfei
She's 19 💀

Amber
Minor

Asta
Stop calling every first and second year minors 💀
Ratio is literally 18 and a 4th year

Amber
Ratio is mentally older

Asta
ill*

Ratio
I have literally done nothing to you in my life

Asta
YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE SECOND FLOOR

Caelus
WHAR 💀

Ratio
For science

Asta
BRO

Aventurine
Why don't I know about this 💀

Asta
YOU WERE ABSENT
ON THE DAY OF OUR PROJECT DEMONSTRATION

Aventurine
I WAS SICK

Asta
Excuses excuses

Stelle
When was this?

Asta
During first year
This gremlin was 15

Ratio
Gremlin?

Asta
You were quite literally a gremlin back then
Then a year later topaz transferred

Topaz
I regret it

Aventurine
Come on we had so much fun with inert salsa

Aether
Inert salsa? 💀

Topaz
😭
Kys
Right now
Please

Asta
Inert salsotto 💀
It was a planar ornament prototype we were supposed to replicate as a group project
That and the wastelander relic set

Aventurine
Inert salsa

Ratio
Aventurine

Aventurine
Ye

Ratio
Shut up

Aventurine
:(

Topaz
He laughed he found inert salsa funny

Ratio
I did not
Misinformation

Topaz
Do you want me to record you?

Ratio
Im leaving

Aventurine
Where are you
And why have you abandoned me

Topaz
Library

Aventurine
Oh nvm
Have fun

Guinaifen
Big mood

Chapter Text

Jing Yuan
Hiiii

Dan Heng
???

Jing Yuan
Dan Heng!

Dan Heng
Bailu?
Yanqing?

Jing Yuan
It's me bailu

Dan Heng
Why do you have your brother's phone

Jing Yuan
Brother jing yuan came to visit!
But he fell asleep :(

Dan Heng
Does he have no locks on his phone

Jing Yuan
He does but he has the fingerprint thingie on too hehe

Dan Heng
Idiot
What are you doing, though?

Jing Yuan
I got bored so I opened his messeging app

Dan Heng
Messaging*

Jing Yuan
Yeah yeah whatever
Why don't you visit? >:(

Dan Heng
Im sorry I've just been very busy
I'll visit next week, how about that?

Jing Yuan
Yayyyy!
Promise?

Dan Heng
Promise
Why are you not at school, though?

Jing Yuan
Im sick

Dan Heng
Sick sick or pretend sick?

Jing Yuan
Um

Dan Heng
Don't worry, I used to do that too
I won't snitch

Jing Yuan
Wait really??

Dan Heng
Yes

Jing Yuan
You always look like a goody two shoes
Im surprised

Dan Heng
That's your impression of me?
I don't know how to feel about this.
Anyway, forget that
Aren't you in 6th grade now?

Jing Yuan
Yes! :D
I will grow taller than yanqing some day and dan heng and jing yuan

Dan Heng
Yeah you will
Where exactly is jing yuan?
Passed out on the floor?

Jing Yuan
No, under the kota something table

Dan Heng
💀
Bailu I love you
It's called kotatsu

Jing Yuan
Yeah yeah whatever
But dan heng can't love bailu

Dan Heng
Why can't dan heng love bailu?

Jing Yuan
Because dan heng has to love jing yuan!

Dan Heng
What?
Bailu, what are you talking about?
Please elaborate

Jing Yuan
What is elaborate

Dan Heng
Give me more information or basically explain

Jing Yuan
Ohh
Bailu learned something new today

Dan Heng
Good job

Jing Yuan
Do i get a star now?

Dan Heng
You get three

Jing Yuan
Really?!
Yayyyy

Dan Heng
Can Bailu elaborate now?

Jing Yuan
Yes! Bailu will elaborate!
Dan heng cannot love bailu because if dan heng loves bailu and j

-

Dan Heng
???
Bailu?

Jing Yuan
Im so sorry

Dan Heng
Yanqing? Jing yuan?

Jing Yuan
Jing yuan
Did she do something embarrassing

Dan Heng
No, she just talked to me
Why are you sleeping on bailu
She missed you

Jing Yuan
It was not in my intention
I just fell asleep

Dan Heng
You made bailu sad

Jing Yuan
Stop making me feel guilty

Dan Heng
She had no one to talk to and only me as company
For like 5 minutes
She must've been so alone before that

Jing Yuan
😭
Im taking her to aurum alley
Bye

Dan Heng
Bring me berrypheasant skewers when you come back

Jing Yuan
THEY WILL ROT
IT'S A 2 DAY FLIGHT

Dan Heng
Do y'all hear something

Jing Yuan
Insufferable

Dan Heng
You hang out with me everyday

Jing Yuan
...

Dan Heng
Isn't bailu waiting?

Jing Yuan
Bye

Dan Heng
Trip on a rock or smth
Bye

Stelle
Um

Aventurine
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IR IS TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND NOT TALK DURING A CONVERSATION

Childe
I do understand
I wanted to talk so bad but didn't know what to say

Lumine
Who is bailu

Aether
Can you read
They literally had a three para conversation about her being jing yuan's sister

Dan Heng
I want no part in the conversation that follows
Bye

Mona
Ok 2 day flight???
Where even does jing yuan's family live

Blade
Luofu

Jingliu
Luofu

Baiheng
The entire quintet is from the luofu in fact

Mona
Where is luofu

Baiheng
Uhhhhh
Closer to liyue ig
But still far
It's mostly an island but too big to be considered an island

Jingliu
Closer to liyue 💀

Baiheng
Oh shut up im bad at geography

Blade
Luofu is NOT an island wtf 😭
Most of it is literally on a fucking mountain
Fucking clouds

Jingliu
Does baiheng deserve rights

Baiheng
THAT MOUNTAIN IS LITERALLY ON AN ISLAND

Blade
NO?????

Jingliu
Give it up

Baiheng
YINGXING KYS

Aether
💀

Jingliu
Harsh
He is already suicidal

Aether
And emo

Jingliu
And emo

Baiheng
HE SENT ME LUOFU'S MAP IN DMS

Caelus
LMAOOOOOIOI

Childe
CRYIHN

Diluc
💀

Kaeya
Today, the highlight of my day is me having a pleasant, normal, idle chat with Lisa in dms and my keyboard correcting Diluc to Dildo.

Aether
HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Aventurine
DILDO

Stelle
RHAT WAS SO RANDOM
WE WERE MOT DONE LAUGHING AT BAIHENG WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Childe
HELP

Venti sized
HIIIII :D
WHAT IS LUOFU AND WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

Blade
Kys rn

Lumine
What is luofu 💀

Jingliu
To be fair you just said luofu and expected everyone to know

Blade
You too

Jingliu
We*
Anyway
We're talking about one of the Xianzhou states
Xianzhou Luofu

Venti sized
Ohhh
So like
Is that a country

Baiheng
Uhhhh

Blade
Don't ask her
You probably know more about luofu than her

Baiheng
HEY
JUST BC IM BAD AT GEOGRAPHY DOESN'T MEAN I'LL GET HOW THINGS WORK WRONG FOR A PLACE I GREW UP IN

Jingliu
I mean it is a country...? But also not

Blade
It's kinda a country
But kinda not

Venti sized
So country or no country?

Blade
Country

Jingliu
Country

Venti sized
Oh ok

Blade
Its culture is kinda similar to liyue's just a bit stricter ig
If you know liyue's culture

Venti sized
Yeah, i grew up in liyue for half of my life
The other half in mondstadt

Zhongli
Yet you still end up offending liyuen citizens

Venti sized
Shut up that never happened

Zhongli
Whatever you say

Baiheng
Anyway
Y'all should visit luofu

Venti sized
Why

Baiheng
Wdym why
It has the best view in the world
You can literally touch clouds

Venti
Won't we run out of oxygen?

Jingliu
No
Astonishingly, the luofu is quite abundant in oxygen
Like, literally fresh air
No pollution bc nobody uses things run by fuel there

Stelle
Abundance
Why am i getting strong deja vu
Can't say why or what it's about like

Caelus
Good or bad

Stelle
Bad

Zhongli
Then it's better to not dwell on it

Stelle
Yeah prolly
Anyway
Where's dan heng

Arlan
Library

Stelle
How do you know

Arlan
Im with him

Stelle
Oh k

Sushang
Why are you on your phone in the library

Arlan
Um
Why can't i be

Caelus
Valid

Stelle
Stfu caelus you've never been to the library

Caelus
UM????
BOLD CLAIM???

Stelle
You have no evidence to refute it

Caelus
Do you have evidence that you've ever been to the library?

March
She has a witness
Me

Caelus
This is literally not fair
I've never done any lesbian anything wrong
They STILL gang up on me

Aether
Mood

Guinaifen
Why do the fourth years like never talk here?

Aventurine
Um?

Guinaifen
Not you three
The other fourth years
Himeko, Kafka, Serval
And Welt
Like, i don't think he ever said anything in the group

Lumine
To be fair, they're fourth years
Also, all four of them are in the council

Guinaifen
But aren't jing yuan and the others in the council too

Baiheng
"And the others"

Jingliu
We don't rly have a lot to do
Just go over stuff
Most of it is done by the seniors anyway
And fu xuan

Baiheng
And jing yuan

Lumine
What does dan heng do?

Jingliu
He's the archivist
He stores everything like, data
And writes stuff
When i mean everything, i mean everything

March
That sounds so stressful and annoying

Jingliu
Ikr
Idk how he's still sane

Blade
Nobody in the quintet is sane

Jingliu
Right my bad

Thoma
I FINISHED THE ASSIGNMENT

Diluc
How

Thoma
Its not so hard once you get it done halfway
Then the rest just comes to you

Diluc
Send

Thoma
No

Kaeya
💀
What assignment
Im not in hebrews class

Keqing
HEBREW

Aether
Hebrew?

Keqing
Mr. Herbert
That's our history teacher

Diluc
Assignment on fucking rivers

Kaeya
Damn
I can't help then

Diluc
When did i ever ask you
I know you couldn't help

Keqing
Thoma I will give you my allowance

Thoma
My boyfriend is rich

Lumine
Living the zhongli life

Zhongli
???

Venti
You know exactly what that means

Zhongli
I haven't the faintest idea

Venti
Me when i lie ☝🤓

Zhongli
No
You would never say that

Venti
You're right
Im not a founding father
Id be like "idk what ur talking about"

Zhongli
Founding father
@Childe do i sound like a founding father

Kaeya
Did childe just go offline 💀

Aether
💀

Lumine
💀

Zhongli
@Xiao

Xiao
Hi
Bye

Ganyu
💀

Yanfei
Have you ever seen zhongli sulk

Hu Tao
Yes

Ganyu
Yes

Venti
Yes
On behalf of childe, yes

Kaeya
Yes
On behalf of diluc, yes

Diluc
Why on behalf of me

Kaeya
I needed that extra screentime

Caelus
Fourth wall

Lumine
Childe rn
 

Aether
💀

Keqing
Anyway
Thoma
Ask for anything
Money?
Power?
My body?

Thoma
EW NO
NO OFFENSE IM GAY

Kaeya
💀

Aventurine
Aint no way 💀

Lisa
You are really willing to sell your body for homework? 💀

Keqing
Yes

Lumine
Isn't keqing the topper

Keqing
Being the topper doesn't mean i can do everything 😭

Aventurine
Isn't zhongli good at history and stuff?

Keqing
He's sulking

Diluc
@Dan Heng

Aether
💀

Lumine
Are you that desperate 😭

Ganyu
Aren't they roommates?

Kaeya
Ye

Ganyu
He can just ask him irl

Aventurine
Uhhhh
The thing is
Both of them have social anxiety irl

Ganyu
Ohh

Lumine
Who's ur roommate?

Venti sized
Why do you wanna know who everyone's roommate is

Lumine
Bc

Venti sized
Who's urs

Lumine
Jingliu

Jingliu
Huh????

Lumine
I wish 😔
Amber

Venti sized
Damn

Amber
WDYM DAMN
IM A VERY GOOD ROOMMATE

Venti sized
🤐

Amber
UNGRATEFUL MFS

Venti sized
Anyway, ganyu

Ganyu
Keqing

Aether
Why are all the lesbian couples together?
Discrimination
Ganyu and keqing, bei and ningguang, black swan and acheron, jean and lisa
And then none of the gays are together

Venti sized
I mean, most of us are bitchless 💀

Lumine
Wdym all the lesbo couples
Me and jingliu aren't together

Jingliu
WHAT

Aether
You are an incel you don't count

Lumine
HOW DARE YOU

Venti sized
She's seeped too far into her delusions

Amber
Poor jingliu 💔

Lumine
WHY AM I GETTING BULLIED

Venti sized
The cycle must go on my friend
It's a mesh topology not a tree topology

Lumine
Kys

Childe
Venti i will murder you with my own two hands

Venti sized
???????
WHAT????
WHAT DID I DO

Childe
DO NOT SPEAK OF TOPOLOGY YOU OVERGROWN RAT

Venti sized
I LITERALLY BREATHED????

Thoma
Huh 💀

Kaeya
Unresolved trauma

Thoma
Ok

Beidou
Ok so
Um

Stelle
Whats wrong

Beidou
Did you hear that noise?

Aether
Noise?

Kaeya
I heard it
It sounded like a mixture of splash and thwack

Diluc
Very informative and insightful, thank you monsieur kaeya

Kaeya
You're welcome pleb

Diluc
Kys

Ganyu
I heard it too
What exactly happened

Xiao
Idk but im checking
Came from the lockers or the janitors room beside the lockers i think

Ganyu
Don't text while walking, it's unsafe

Xiao
K

Aventurine
Guys 💀

Lumine
What

Acheron
💀

Stelle
What happened?????

Black Swan
So yk argenti right

Stelle
The red haired senior who's always yapping about idrila or sumn?

Black Swan
Yeah him

Aether
Sooooo
What happened

Black Swan
So uh we have kind of a three stooges trio in class 💀
Idk if you know them
Boothill, Argenti and Velite
Terrible three, three stooges, whatever you will

Aventurine
Ok didn't ask

Acheron
Sleep with both eyes open

Lumine
💀

Childe
Why is acheron giving threats so scary 💀

Black Swan
Ok so anyway
Our literature class was ending
We were getting assigned essays

Childe
What did u get

Black Swan
Peas

Childe
What 💀

Black Swan
Peas

Acheron
I got fleas 💔

Childe
WHAT

Acheron
<\3

Lumine
Anyway
So yeah, you got assigned essays
Then

Black Swan
Yeah so anyway
Boothill was in the restroom for like 20 minutes already
The class was ending
So, the teacher told velite to go get him 💀

Acheron
Everyone almost laughed 😭

Aether
Why?

Acheron
Um
So
The thing is
Argenti likes Boothill

Aventurine
Wait fr?

Acheron
Yes
Anyway
Velite likes Argenti
Boothill just exists
Idk who he likes
He's almost zhongli

Lumine
I love how dense = zhongli now

Zhongli
I have literally done nothing in my life to deserve this

Lumine
Exactly
You did nothing
But that still doesn't explain the noise

Black Swan
So like
We had 20 mins remaining
Velite didn't come back for 10
So, teacher sent Argenti

Aether
💀

Acheron
We don't rly know what happened
But uhhh
There was this loud noise 3 mins into sending Argenti so the teacher went to check
And the rest of the class followed shortly
We found them in the storage room 💀
Like, the classroom on third floor that's not used and and used as a room to store equipment

Aventurine
Isn't it allegedly haunted

Black Swan
Probably

Acheron
Anyway
So
When we entered the classroom, our teacher turned on the lights
We found velite sitting on top of a fucking tape recorder
Boothill passed out cold on the ground
And Argenti just standing there like a fucking tree
The teacher asked what happened
Velite being the only sane one, decided to explain

Black Swan
Bro DID NOT explain 

Acheron
He did but uh 💀

Black Swan
He said boothill is possessed and he accidentally broke the tape recorder while like making all the objects float in the room 😭
And he said it wasn't a bad ghost and stuff
I think he's traumatized
Argenti just kept staring off into space
We think HE is possessed

Acheron
Long story short, all three of them are admitted to a hospital rn
Very eventful 7 minutes of my life

Aventurine
What 💀

Acheron
Idk either
But anyway
Half day <3

Childe
WAIT FR

Acheron
Yes
They told us this period is the last
They'll announce to the other classes eventually
Idk why tho

Childe
It doesn't matter, i won't have to do calc*lus

Acheron
Mood

Lumine
Anyway back to roommates

Aventurine
💀💀💀

Lumine
@Blade

Caelus
I told you blade and i are rooming together like 3 days ago 💀

Lumine
Mb
@Luocha

Aventurine
How do you know luocha

Lumine
I know everyone

Caelus
But why

Lumine
You never know when they come in handy

Aventurine
Based

Dan Heng
He won't reply
He barely checks his phone
Also, we're in bio rn
It's his favorite class

Aether
Bro has issues

Caelus
I can solve them <3

Kaeya
💀

Childe
CAELUS?

Aventurine
CAELUS ?????

Caelus
What

Jing Yuan
To answer your question, his roommate is a senior called welt iirc
He's rly cool
The roommate i mean

Stelle
I still don't understand why they would room juniors and seniors together

Jing Yuan
At least it's not seniors and freshmen or juniors and freshmen

Stelle
Wait
So
Who is ratio rooming with

Topaz
He's alone

Stelle
Sad

Ratio
No

Dan Heng
I don't think there is anything sad about having a room to yourself

Kaeya
So you hate diluc

Dan Heng
Where did i say that

Diluc
Ignore him

Kaeya
Ok i will ignore dan heng

Diluc
Kys

Kaeya
Gasp diluc
Why are you telling dan heng to kill himself
So rude :(

Stelle
💀

Chapter Text

Hu Tao
No but why
Bitches be like communicate
Be clear
Be upfront
And then "you can't just ask that"
Damn make up your mind 😭

Lumine
Sorry

Hu Tao
💀
????
Why are you saying sorry 😭
I meant in general

Lumine
Idk 💀
Uhhh

Xiao
💀

Stelle
@Sparkle hi

Childe
Why would you do that 💀

Stelle
She hasn't spoken in a while

Aventurine
Which is good

Stelle
Sampo hasn't as well
And alhaitham
And kaveh
And gepard
And a lot of other people

Xiao
Maybe it's because they have lives?

Stelle
No, sampo does not have a life

Aether
💀

Lumine
What even is berrypheasant

Zhongli
Berrypheasants are animals that live in symbiosis with plants, with a lot of fruit hanging from their tails. Berrypheasant Skewers are actually fruit skewers, and no Berrypheasants are harmed during the production process.

Lumine
Thank you Google

Zhongli
Lumine

Lumine
Yes

Zhongli
Kill yourself.

Aether
GASP

Pussytoes
Oh my god 💀

Lumine
😨

Thoma
She's dead

Jing Yuan
Why are people named pussytoes and clitoris

Amber
💀

Clitoria
Clitoria*

Sunday
Again, why is this what i walk into

Stelle
How are we supposed to know that
Why do you keep walking into stuff like this

Aventurine
He does this on purpose
Then pretends he doesn't know what's going on

Sunday
Ok

Lumine
Bro why is sunday like a totally different person irl than online

Asta
I mean ive never met him so

Cheeseweed is typing...

Caelus
💀

Ratio
Don't.

Lumine
??????
AVENTURINE STOPPED TYPINH???

Stelle
HOW DID YOU DO THAT

Thoma
Anyway so
Back to the previous topic

Aether
💀

Diluc
Thoma

Thoma
Ye

Diluc
What was the previous topic

Thoma
Uhhhh
Wait a sec

Aether
💀

-

Thoma
Oh.

Sparkle
@Aethet atp just change ur nickname to skull emoji

Pussytoes
AETHET

Lumine
AT FIRST CHANGE YOUR NAME

Pussytoes
Whats wrong with my name :(

Lumine
...

Dan Heng
https://youtu.be/48rSt3eM7XE?si=qmjdBGxVS_7e4wHm

[Approximately 4 system minutes later]

Aether
IS THIS REAL????

Aventurine
BLADE IS 5 INCHES???

Keqing
WHY IS THAT WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT
CYLINDERS?????

Aether
BANANA

Aventurine
MICROWAVED MASHED BANANAS

Aether
HELP AHHAHSJAJAHHAHAHAHBAHAHAHHS

Caelus
SHUT UP DID DAN HENG POST THIS ON HIS PERSONAL YT

Jing Yuan
How did you even find this post 💀

Baiheng
Dan heng the stalker? 😱

Lumine
@Blade

Jingliu
Don't @ him 💀

Baiheng
@Dan Heng i can't keep defending you if you keep digging your grave

Aether
He's in his extra literature class rn 😭

Thoma
Who

Aether
Blade

Stelle
Which means he'll check his phone in like 2 hrs or smth

Aventurine
HELLO, DIGITAL FOOTPRINT????

Dan Heng
Technically, nobody can use this information against me

Thoma
Where is childe 💀

Keqing
He's doing homework 💀
This is so funny

Thoma
CHILDE, IS DOING HOMEWORK

Keqing
Yes
We're at the library
Im sitting two rows away from him
Bro is almost falling asleep

Aventurine
Mood

Zhongli
Which library?

Keqing
Third floor library

Zhongli
Okay, I'll be there
Do you need help with something, too?

Keqing
Eh?
No
Im just idling here, i don't have anything to do

Zhongli
Alright

Dan Heng
replying to Dan Heng:
"@Jing Yuan did you bring the skewers"
@Jing Yuan you still haven't responded

Jing Yuan
I told you they'll go bad
It was a 2 day flight

Dan Heng
Did you bring them or not

Jing Yuan
...
Yes

Aether
BRO NO WAY HE ACTUALLY DID

Blade
You can't refrigerate them, they'll go bad 💀
What did you do
Unless it's already rotted

Jing Yuan
It's not rotten
I had them delivered

Jingliu
💀
Bro
What

Baiheng
Rich ppl be like

Caelus
Question
How much does it cost to have stuff delivered from xianzhou to here

Jingliu
Uhhhh
Lowest is probably around 3 thousands (in mora)
But if ur delivering smth that goes bad easily
Well, like berrypheasant skewers
It's probably gonna cost you triple the amount

Lumine
EXCUSE ME, TRIPLE?????

Jingliu
Approximately

Dan Heng
Wtf you actually bought it

Jing Yuan
YES?????
YOU LITERALLY ASKED ME TO????

Dan Heng
I didn't think you'd actually do it

Jing Yuan
???????

Baiheng
💀
I AM CRYING

Blade
Yes, we can hear you
Shut up

Jingliu
Ur gonna get kicked out of class in 3
2

Blade
She got kicked

Jingliu
1
Ah mb
Miscalculation

Dan Heng
Bro
A luofu native just dropped this bigass CRATE of berrypheasant skewers at my doorstep 😭

Aether
💀

Dan Heng
What am I supposed to do with this

Jing Yuan
IDK, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH SKEWERS?

Dan Heng
This is, frankly, too much for one person

Aether
Can i help

Dan Heng
Yes
I was expecting like, a box
Containing like 6 of them
Or none at all
I didn't expect a fucking crate

Blade
@Jing Yuan are you retarded

Jing Yuan
replying to Dan Heng:
"https://youtu.be/48rSt3eM7XE?si=qmjdBGxVS_7e4wHm"
@Blade

Jingliu
JING YUAN???????

Baiheng
YOOOOOOOOO

Caelus
AIN'T NO WAY
/AIN'T NO WAY/

Stelle
@Dan Heng RUN

Baiheng
A-Liu what's going on 💀

Jingliu
He's watching it 😭
I can't read his expression
He's just watching it intensely

Aether
Intensely?

Jingliu
Like, his nose is glued to the screen
Yk uhhhhh
Idk how to explain
Like
Emo ppl have this gaze

Thoma
EMO PPL

Baiheng
Basically the edgy gaze
We first came across it when dan Heng and i befriended jingliu

Jingliu
Kys
Also, i befriended you two
Dan heng couldn't socialize to save his life
and you were literally this manic pixie dream girl

Sushang
Oh yeah
Didn't you say it was just you and blade at first, then you, blade and jing yuan and then dan heng and baiheng joined?

Jingliu
Precisely

Baiheng
Kinda
A-Heng apparently already knew yingxing and jing yuan from kindergarten or smth 

Jingliu
No, he changed schools in the middle of kindergarten year
So he roughly knew them for about 6 months

Baiheng
He didn't know them for like 2 years or smth?

Jingliu
No?

Baiheng
Ah aight
Memory was never my strong suit

Aether
Anyway
Where are the people in question 💀

Jingliu
Oh fuck i got distracted
Yingxing isn't here
💀

Caelus
@Diluc

Diluc
Don't you think saying if he's in the dorm or not in the gc is just going to give his location away

Caelus
Oh
Right
Tell in dms

Diluc
No

Aether
💀

Sparkle
Again, change ur nickname to skull emoji atp

Caelus
Why???
That is my best friend
I need to know his whereabouts

Diluc
That is my roommate

Baiheng
WHOAAAAAAAAAAA

Aether
DILUC???????
POG

Diluc
Never say pog again

Aventurine
@Childe why do you never stick up for me like this

Keqing
He's not going to answer, zhongli is here 💀

Lumine
Oh no 💀

Keqing
Bros are NOT studying 😭

Lumine
We know
Ever since zhongli said he's going to the library
We've known

Keqing
This is so frustrating to watch
They keep staring at each other like
Disgusting
Bleh

Baiheng
Dan heng and yingxing do that too

Jingliu
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

Jing Yuan
Baiheng, do you have a death wish 💀

Aether
IT'S NOT THE SAME 😭

Caelus
DAN HENG AND BLADE STARE AT EACH OTHER AS IF THEY WIPED EACH OTHER'S ENTIRE BLOODLINE, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND EVERYONE CLOSE TO THEM

Baiheng
I want what they have

Jingliu
BAIHENG?????

Baiheng
😔

Aether
You have issues

Baiheng
Yes

Jingliu
Can I solve them?

Baiheng
WHAT

Jingliu
WHAT

Baiheng
JSKSKZHXGSKKXHSKKDHXJDIDJDH

Jingliu
JSMSKKSKSKSJX

Jing Yuan
DID JINGLIU KEYBOARD SMASH????

Caelus
Pls don't use caps
It ruins the 7000 years old boomer image i have of you inside my mind

Aether
CARLUS????

Guinaifen
CARLUS

Stelle
CARLUS HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Caelus
Question is
IS DAN HENG OK

Jing Yuan
Have you considered
Dming him

Caelus
....
Oh.

Stelle
Dumbfuck

Sushang
WHY DOES BLADE KEEP SHOWING UP IN OUR CLASS

Dan Heng
💀

Caelus
DAN HENG

Jingliu
Im not picking him up this time 💀
For the good of everyone
Pls tolerate him for the day

Sushang
Alright

Lumine
@Jingliu can i call you mommy

Jing Yuan
💀

Dan Heng
She dropped her phone 💀

Jing Yuan
Delete that

[Dan Heng deleted a message]

Jing Yuan
Nobody comment on that
It will give away his location

Dan Heng
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO PUT ME IN THIS PREDICAMENT???

Jing Yuan
Im also the one who got you out of it

Aether
Well childe isn't here and kaeya is muted so @Aventurine venti x diluc 3.0?

Lumine
💀

Aventurine
Jing yuan is the manipulative, gaslighter bf who puts dan heng into calculated dangerous situations that won't rly harm him bc he'll always be there to save him. But they'll surely traumatize him

Aether
The saviour and the victim?

Dan Heng
Ok
This is where i leave
Bye

Jean
You people need help

Aventurine
Help needs me 😔

Aether
"I can fix him" bro needs fixing himself
Bro is me

Aventurine
Same
@Ratio can you fix me

Ratio
No

Aventurine
😔💔

Jingliu
Question
How did you make jing yuan sound accurate bc this is exactly how this mf would be like if he was toxic and unhealthy

Jing Yuan
How would you know that 💀

Jingliu
You are manipulative
And very good at it
It's a compliment
You never use it to harm others but it's still scary how good at it you are
Even if i tell someone you are manipulative, you'll still find a way to manipulate them anyway

Aether
That is scary 💀 we were just bluffing

Aventurine
No?

Aether
????

Aventurine
I have experience with manipulative ppl
Jing yuan isn't evil from what i know
But he does have the choice to be evil
Just saying

Jing Yuan
Why are you talking about me in front of me, with me 💀

Aventurine
It's fun that way

Dan Heng
Jing Yuan x Aventurine???

Aether
DAN HRNG OMG

Jingliu
💀

Baiheng
LMFAOOOOOOO

Ratio
Enemies to lovers?

Dan Heng
Toxic yaoi?

Ratio
Manipulator x ex repeat manipulation victim?

Dan Heng
Am i manipulating him or is he manipulating me?

Lumine
Oh my god 💀

Mona
@Dan Heng are you autistic

Dan Heng
Idk

Lumine
The autistic army is just rising
@Childe become adhd

Aether
💀

Chapter Text

Chapter Text