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he opens his eyes, the ceiling of the room fading into view. he can feel the cold sweat drenching his head and back, another nightmare, he assumes, though he does not remember.
with his unfortunate inability to return to rest and his seething spite regarding the exhaustion that tugs at his eyelids, he pulls himself from the mattress of a run down motel, changing into something less sweat-soaked.
He finds himself staring into the mirror as he often does, though never as an act of vanity. he looks on his expression as disheveled and unmaintained. he looks tired and beat up, and he is.
looking in the mirror reminds him less of what he has, and more of what he has lost. he is reminded that his losses amount to all too much.
leaving the motel long before the due time, he heaves his belongings on his back, and carries himself on his feet.
his goal is to make up for what was lost, although deep inside himself he knows that no real thing can be done to get it all back. to get his life back, to get his family back. maybe his family wasnt ever what it had seemed, though he had little care for such trivial matters now.
days of this persist. check ins at cheap motels, startling wake ups, loathing himself in the mirror, and going on his (not so) merry way.
at last his destination makes itself known, a base all too noticeable for its own good, he thinks. but who he is looking for isnt inside, thankfully. no awkward introduction or stick-em-up scenario. although, maybe sitting atop a building isnt any better.
he takes mental note of the faint green glow, and quiet whirring of a mechanically aided breath. the sound makes his stomach sink into his feet.
silently climbing atop the building, with help from only the light of the moon and stars, he stands behind the other man, making himself known with a clearing of his throat.
“So, my invitation was… well received?” The other man questions. It’s a relief to see his ability to perceive has yet to be hindered.
After a long pause, he responds with a sigh. “Well… it is still in consideration.” He thinks for a moment. “Although there are not many other options for me, at this point.”
“No,” The other man agrees, “I suppose there is not. But the offer is not to corner you, it is simply the last helping hand I can offer.”
He scrunches his face in disbelief. Had their positions been swapped, he would have never lended a helping hand to begin with.
“I… do not think the offer is… well deserved.” He admits.
“Maybe not, though you would not be the first.”
The other man never turns to look at him, his position held firm, looking over the edge of the building into the vast canyons below.
It’s better this way. with his stomach already sunken to his feet, having to face the man personally might send it through the floor, partially out of guilt, partially out of shame.
Alas he knows he must face his fears sooner rather than later, as he takes a step forward to sit beside the other man, still avoiding eye contact.
He feels the man finally turn to look at him, hearing a quiet, near robotic chuckle. hearing that sound again, a soul crushing reality.
“My word, anija, you look rough.”
Hearing the other man using that word made his skin chill, a chill so cold he felt he was burning. He was furiously filled with contempt upon hearing the name, a title he did not deserve.
But instead of lashing out like he might have done in a past day, he attempted to release a majority of that contempt through a heavy sigh. leveling his head, he turned to look at his brother, the sunken, crushed feeling making its return.
“You do not look so good yourself.”
The delivery was terrible. the joke itself was awful, and generally in bad taste. though, despite not being able to see his brother’s mouth, he could tell a smile was there from the look in his eye. a real, honest smile.
“It’s good to know you are in there somewhere under all that mess.” His brother remarks, the smile audible through his words.
———————————————
He wakes up to his alarm, in a bed he now knows as his. the heat of the comforter begins to be slightly unbearable, leading him to getting out of bed.
upon entering the bathroom, he looks upon himself in the mirror again. could be better, but has most definitely been worse, he thinks, as he puts up his hair.
he ponders what he has regained, what he has yet to regain, and what he can earn from this life he now lives.
He hears a buzz coming from his nightstand. as he opens his phone, he sees a text.
G: You awake? I’m gonna be up and training most of the day today, you should join me
He decided against responding. His attendance is enough of a response anyway.