Chapter Text
“Tell your husband to stop annoying me.”
“Would if I could, bub. Not like he listens to me, either.”
Wile E. rolled his eyes at Daffy’s response. Standing behind the curtain as Bugs and Daffy were getting ready for a live comedy show, Beep Beep had insisted that he and Wile E. tag along to support the duck and rabbit duo. Reluctantly, the coyote agreed.
He was regretting it now, being forced to listen to the rambling of Bugs as he explained in excruciating detail the filming and behind the scenes process that went into The Big Snooze, a personal favorite of the hare’s. Wile E. had at first tried walking away from it, but as Bugs kept following him and purposefully talking even louder, he decided to accept his fate. All the while, Daffy and Beep Beep were having their own chat, though much less one-sided and much more enjoyable. Wile E. only felt a little bad for interrupting it.
Just a little, though.
Sighing, he checked the watch that definitely was not on his wrist before. His excitement shot to the roof as he realized the two were set to go on stage in five minutes- though of course, he didn’t let it show.
Instead, he looked back up from his now watch-less wrist with a small smirk, cutting off Bugs from his rant. “Time’s up. You’re on in five.”
“Oh wow, already? Man, does time fly when you’re wrapped in a good conversation!” Bugs exclaimed.
Wile E. narrowed his eyes. He knew he was doing this on purpose, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. Not humoring him with a response, he looked towards the two birds instead.
“Better let ya’ go then,” Daffy said to the roadrunner with a sigh. “You’re watching the show, right?”
Beep Beep nodded. “Of course! We wouldn’t come all this way for nothing!” He paused. “Well, I would. But probably not Wile E.”
Daffy snorted as he rolled his eyes, “Oh I’m sure.”
“Hey,” Wile E. spoke out, having to raise his voice just the slightest bit given the couple feet between the two pairs.
“Oh whoopsie, did you hear that?” Daffy said in faux surprise.
Wile E. growled just slightly. “Okay, we’re done here now. Let’s go, Beep.”
“Yuck, pet names.”
“That’s not even a pet name, you daft duck!”
“Is too!”
“Daff, quit arguin’ with the pissy coyote and fix your bow tie, we’re almost on!”
“Spoil sport,” Daffy mumbled out, his lisp messy as ever.
Walking to his partner’s side, Wile E. and Beep Beep made their way to the backstage stairs, exiting into the hallway. Then re-entering through the main doors into the crowded audience, they sat down in the front row v.i.p seats next to many of the other Toons. Though not required, the Toons all did their best to come to each other’s shows to support each other.
Plus, it gave them dirt on one another if one of them happened to mess up.
“Well, it’s a surprise, I say, it’s a surprise to see you here, Coyote! Don’t you usually have- and this I quote- ‘better places to be’?”
“I do,” Wile E. responded bluntly to the rooster to the right.
From his left, Beep Beep peeked his head around his face to look at Foghorn with a smile. “I convinced him to come along!”
“The influence you have on him is remarkable!” Speedy Gonzalez states from where he’s sitting to Beep Beep’s left. “I never thought I’d see the day where Señor Coyote actually showed up to an event like this!”
“Want me to go? Because I will, mark my words.”
“No no no! That’s not what they’re saying, don’t go! I won’t allow it!” Beep Beep protested, clinging to Wile E.’s left arm.
Not like Wile E. would have left, anyway. He’s not one to go back on his word. Still, it was amusing to see the roadrunner get in such a tussle about it.
Rolling his eyes, he instead focuses his attention to the stage as the lights dim and the instrumental music playing gets louder. Beep Beep relaxes by his side, seemingly convinced now that he won’t leave. His wings stay wrapped around his arm, though.
He doesn’t protest.
After the show- of which Daffy claimed was his biggest hit yet- the Toons all gathered backstage, slapping the rabbit and duck on their backs and shouting loud compliments.
Their rambunctious behavior was truly something to behold. Not like he was any different, though. But that, he’d never admit.
“Amazing job, you guys! You killed it out there!”
“Aw shucks, Lola, you do flatter me!”
“Oh please,” Daffy scoffed with a harsh lisp, “She was referring to me!”
“No, it was me!”
“Me!”
“Me!”
“Me!”
“Me!”
“Me!”
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“I say it was you and that’s final!”
“Nyeh, whatever you say, doc,” Bugs conceded with a shrug. Daffy huffed in pride and looked quite smug with himself for about three seconds before his face dropped, realizing what happened.
Narrowing his eyes, the duck pushed his forehead against Bugs’, glaring daggers into his eyes. “Why, you despicable little rodent-“
“Guys, come on,” Lola’s exasperated voice chimed in, “You were both amazing and you know it. Now how about we all calm down and go get some pizza?”
“Pizza!? Why, don’t mind if I do!” Daffy exclaimed with excitement, jumping away from Bugs with a smile on his face, prior events seemingly not on the forefront of his mind anymore. The rest of the Toons each shouted in agreement.
“Sufferin’ succotash, how long has it been since we’ve all been able to go out like this?”
“Far too long, puddy! Far too long!”
“It’s been, I do say, it’s been far too long, indeed!”
“H-how does everyone f-f-fee- f-fee- f-fee- fe- think about v-veggie delight?”
“Oui, that would be quite delicious, no?”
“No, chère moufette. I want fish.”
“Ahh, but mon cher pigeon, you must expand your palate to more than just that, don’t you agree?”
“Maybe she likes it because it covers up your stench, skunk boy.”
“Daff!”
“What!? I can’t joke around with an old pal?!”
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Beep Beep smiled in amusement at his friends, trailing along beside them. Wile E. was to his left, sticking close to him to avoid being bumped into by the others.
Looking back from where she was leading in the front, Lola smiled back at the two. “Wile E.! You coming along too this time?”
“I suppose I am,” he replied with a sigh. And if a small smile made its way to his face upon seeing Beep Beep’s eyes light up, well… no one had to know.
Despite their fame and riches and their ability to go to, quite honestly, literally any place they could ever dream of, the Toons decided upon a little run down pizza place on a corner block, the lightbulbs hanging by a mere string and flickering as if in a bad horror movie. It was more of a shack, if anything.
Still, there was no denying that their pizza was incredible. That, even one as proud as Daffy could admit to. And he made it abundantly clear by shouting out every two bites how indubitably ravishing it was.
“Waiter, waiter! More pizza for this dear old duck, please!”
“D-D-Daffy, you’ve h-had f-f-five whole pizzas already!”
“That’s right, fat boy! And I’m about to make it six!”
From his place across the table (well, four tables pushed together to be one), Wile E. shook his head. “The way you tolerate him never ceases to amaze me.”
Bugs snorted, his head in his hand as he gazed at Daffy. “Yeah yeah, whatever you say, doc.”
“Besides, haven’t you eaten seven already?” Lola asked the coyote with a smirk. Having noted his annoyed behavior upon arriving, she had graciously taken the free seat to his left, as aside from Beep Beep, she was the closest he considered an equal out of all the Toons.
Waving his hand in the air, Wile E. brushed her off. “Bah, besides the point!”
Beep Beep laughed from his other side, having finished his meal quite a bit ago. Now, he was merely enjoying the company of the others. One of which being the very tall rooster sitting to his right.
“Why, he’s a growing boy, I do declare! He needs, I say, he needs his nutrients!”
“I’m only three years younger than you,” Wile E. replied, an edge to his voice.
He was ignored.
“Such a spindly thing, I do declare! A scrawny lad indeed!”
Wile E. slapped his hand across his face. Beep Beep attempted to hide a snort by holding his wing in front of his beak. If anything, that only made it all the more obvious.
With a good natured laugh, Lola shook her head. “Oh come on now, that’s not very nice!”
“But it’s true, is it not?” Pepe Le Pew insisted from a few seats down, “He may not be the starving canine he plays in the movies, but he sure does look like it, does he not?”
Penelope huffed a laugh from his side. “I mean, he does have a point, no? It’s why he’s such the perfect actor.”
“Well, merci, dear pigeon-“
“I was talking about Wile E., not you.”
“Ah.”
“Oh, will you rackin-smackin’ varmints be quiet for one second!? Some of us are trying to eat here!” The shout of Yosemite Sam reverberated throughout the small building.
“Ehh, wrong group to hang with if you want peace and quiet, doc!”
Wile E. smirked as he pointed to Beep Beep. “Especially with this one around.” This earned him a rough shoulder bump, which only made his smile grow.
As the group devolved into the routine of comfortable arguing once more, Wile E. felt a buzz on his lap. Picking up his phone, his eyes narrowed and nose scrunched. He then promptly turned it off, standing up abruptly.
It was sudden, unexpected. It made him feel sick.
Without bidding a goodbye, he exited the little shop. Beep Beep was quick on his trail, grabbing him by the arm.
“Wile E.! What are you doing!? I know going out isn’t your favorite, but come on! An Irish goodbye? Really?”
Heaving deep breaths, Wile E. growled something under his breath.
Beep Beep huffed. “Come on, you know I don’t have crazy good hearing like you. Just tell me what-“
“My sister,” he said louder, interrupting the bird.
A pause.
“What about your sister?”
Turning to look at his roadrunner partner, Wile E.’s face was sour and cold. “She found my number.”
Beep Beep’s eyes widened, but he didn’t get a chance to even fully process what was told to him before Wile E. continued.
“She’s on her way over to Hollywood as we speak.”
And just like that, what comfortable peace had been established after the few months following Beep Beep’s ceremony was suddenly shattered as the bomb of Wile E.’s own sister- of which he had disowned alongside his parents- coming to visit dropped.
He could only hope the aftermath wasn’t nearly as messy as it had been with his own family.