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You sighed, annoyed, while your feet moved on the wet sidewalk.
“No, I’m telling you that Arsenal is gonna win this season”, Gaz said, behind you.
“And I’m telling ya that yar delusional”, Ghost answered, and Gaz groaned.
“Alright, what proof do you have?”
“Man United simply has a better team”.
Gaz laughed sarcastically and for a moment you knew what was coming. This argument about football was going to keep going until you were at base if you didn’t do anything and, since you knew Gaz and Ghost and how passionate men could be about football, this could get into a physical fight fast.
You turned your head to Soap, who turned at the same time to look at you.
You didn’t need to say anything, for him to understand you. Usually, he would have joined the discussion a long time ago, but you guess that he was not in the mood for a conversation of that caliber, not when his favorite team had been a bit low this season.
What he was in the mood was for one of his fucking moments and you knew pretty late, after seeing the mischievous smirk grow in the corner of his lips.
He was on it before you could stop him.
“Let Italy boast of her gay gilded waters, her vines and her bowers and her soft sunny skies, her sons drinking love from the eyes of her daughters, where freedom expires amid softness and sighs!”
Before you could even hold it, you were snorting and putting a hand over your mouth to stop the laugh that was trying to get out. The effect was immediate, Gaz and Ghost stopped talking and when you looked at them, they were looking at Soap very confusedly.
Even if they were quiet now, Soap didn’t stop.
“Scotland’s blue mountains wild where hoary cliffs are piled, towering in grandeur are dearer tae me, land of misty cloud, land of the tempest loud, land of the brave and proud, land of the free!”, it was funny because he was out of tune, but the traditional Scottish dancing he started doing in the middle of the sidewalk was rather impressive, even if people were stopping to look.
Ghost was not amused.
“Can you stop it, Johnny?”
Soap made eye contact with him, before singing louder.
“Enthroned on the peak of her highland mountains, the spirit of Scotia reigns fearless and free, her green tartan waving o’er blue rock and fountain, and proudly she sings looking over the sea!”, at that moment, several people were looking while Gaz was trying to hold his laugh as you and Ghost was praying to get swallowed by a hole.
But also, at that moment, some other voices joined the song from the other side of the street. When you looked, you found other soldiers of the task force. Two of them waved at Soap who waved back.
“Here among my mountains wild I have serenely smiled, when armies and empires against me were hurled, firm as my native rock I have withstood the shock, of England, of Denmark, of Rome, and the world!”, at this stage of the song, the other voices had joined, and the soldiers were crossing the street to join Soap in his dance.
You got your phone out and started recording even if you wanted to die of laughter with how so off-key they were singing.
“But see how proudly her war steeds are prancing, deep groves of steel trodden down in their path, the eyes of my sons like their bright swords are glancing, triumphantly riding through ruin and death!”
They paused before they held each other, and then they started singing in the same voice, louder and with the same passion that normal people put in when they sang their national anthem.
“Bold hearts and nodding plumes wave o’er their bloody tombs, deep eyed in gore is the green tartan’s wave, shivering are the ranks of steel, dire is the horseman’s wheel, victorious in the battlefield, Scotland the brave, bold hears and nodding plumes wave o’er their bloody tombs, deeply eyed in gore is the green tartan’s wave, shivering is the ranks of steel dire is the horseman’s wheel, victorious in battlefield, Scotland the brave, victorious in the battlefield, Scoooooootland the braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!”
And when they stopped singing, they cheered in a very Scottish way, the people around applauded and laughed, and Soap turned to the other soldiers and they all started talking in rushed Scottish accents you couldn’t even understand.
You stopped the video while some giggles escaped you. When you looked back at Soap, he was talking about being from Glasgow, with the usual spark he had in his eyes whenever he talked about his home city or home in general.
Ghost complained beside you, clearly annoyed and Gaz was rather amused.
You just observed with your phone still in hand.
It wasn’t the first time Soap broke off an argument by singing off-key. Earlier versions of his non-violent methods had included pop songs like California Gurls or some random song from the Spice Girls, but once or twice he had started singing a traditional Scottish song, which somehow always annoyed Ghost. You thought it was amusing.
Well, Soap as a whole was amusing. He didn’t have to do much for you to get to that conclusion, you just had to see him off duty or win a friendship status to know that he was kind of an idiot when he was not on the job. Sometimes it gave you whiplash because it was like flipping a switch, but if you had to choose between the hardass soldier and the golden retriever idiot, you think you’d choose the golden retriever idiot every day.
It may be an odd decision, but off-duty Soap was…a dream come true. Okay, maybe that was a weird thing to think about your coworker/teammate but well, he wasn’t going to know. He wasn’t going to know that you liked to observe him from time to time, that you knew the little things that made him, himself.
Like his stupid preference for coffee anytime just to hurt Ghost’s English ego, how he always said the worst jokes because he knows it would cheer people up on the bad days, how he likes to give little touches of affection to people when he trusts them, how he can grin and bright up an entire dark room, how he liked to listen attentively to people, just because he knew whatever they were saying was important to them.
How his nose scrunched when he didn’t agree with something, how his accent thicken ten times when he was angry or too excited about something, how he wasn’t afraid to call people on their shit, how he could get angry easily but hold himself, how he would do anything for anyone he dears close without any questions asked.
You knew he could be gentle, that he could be a burst of sunshine, that he was going to hug you after a nightmare, that he was going to squeeze your arm softly after a mission, that he would quietly ask you if you wanted some take out to feel better after a rough moment, how he will pat you on the head whenever you did something right, how he will look at you with those pair of blue eyes like you hung the moon in the sky whenever you got too engrossed in a topic you loved.
You did know too that he had his demons, that he hated asking for help, but loved to help people, that he could solve a math problem faster than anyone in the team, that he sometimes doubted himself when shit didn’t go his way, that he had a heart that didn’t fit his body, that he will defy orders if it means someone is hurt under his watch. That he will stay with you in the hospital because he knows how much you hate them, even if he hates them more.
You knew he liked blue, that he doesn’t miss a match of the GFC for anything in the world, that he would have been a professional footballer if he hadn’t gotten in the military, that he has a twin sister and a mum that doesn’t agree with his career choice, that he laughs loud when he finds something truly funny, that he is not afraid to cry in front of anyone because he is a man with the most healthier masculinity you have met, that he is ambidextrous but favored his left side until someone at church told him left-handed people went to Hell (he didn’t care now but back then had been a trauma).
You know he will give you a history and political lesson about Scotland any day at any time didn’t matter if you asked or not, that he had a Scotland flag hanging over his headboard in his room, that he listens to traditional Scottish music when he was homesick, that he had mixed feelings every time he returned home, that he did all he did because he felt useless once and didn’t want to feel like that anymore.
You knew he was a piece of art itself, that his mother probably absorbed pieces of the sun and Scotland’s blue sky to make him, that he was born to wear blue, and that he will do this shit again in every fucking life doesn’t matter how much he complains about the orders or the drills or the boring meetings.
He was beautiful, body and soul, not just in this moment when he was exchanging contacta with other Scottish soldiers he hadn't met yet, after making a terrible show of singing Scotland For Ever (Scotland the Brave) in public to break up an argument between Gaz and Ghost.
Your heart skips a beat, and your eyes go blurry with emotion when you see him grin in utter happiness.
He was beautiful. Because c’mon, it was obvious.
He agrees with his new Scottish friends before they disperse with the people still around. Then he turns to you with a grin that could light out the whole fucking city.
He walked to you, leaned on your shoulder, facing Ghost and Gaz.
“I hope ya two learned yar lesson”, he says. Gaz giggles, patting him on the shoulder and Ghost groans annoyed.
“Ya always know how to do a show, don’t ya, Johnny?”
He chuckles.
“Not my fault I’m charmin’”, and Ghost then rolls his eyes before he passes us to start walking again.
Soap looks at you before winking, before grabbing your arm softly to follow Ghost and Gaz.
You are on your walk back to the base, Gaz, and Ghost busy in a civilized conversation when you suddenly turn to Soap and without any warning, blurt out your earlier epiphany.
“Did you know that you are beautiful?”
His reaction is immediate.
He stops walking and turns to you, eyes wide. Your heart skips a beat and for a moment you think you stopped breathing.
He stares at you without blinking for a few seconds.
“Did ya call me bonnie?”
“Beautiful, not pretty, not the same”, you correct, tone offended.
He just stares at you until he starts chuckling and then laughing. Gaz and Ghost stop a few meters from you, confused again.
“Why are you laughing?”, you asked, fully offended and confused.
He stops laughing when he hears your tone and then looks at you. Your face is seriously frowned like when you are upset.
The amusement is immediately gone from his face too.
“It wasn’t a joke?”, he asked, kind of insecure.
“Of course it wasn’t a joke!”, you exclaimed, fully offended. He blinked at you wide-eyed, suddenly looking like a dog who just got told that he wasn’t being a good boy. “Why will I joke about that?!”
“W-why did ya call me bonnie t-then?”, he asked, rather defensive.
“I called you beautiful, don’t minimize it!”
“I’m not minimizing it, I’m just very confused!”
You sighed, under Ghost and Gaz’s confused gazes.
“I asked you if you knew you were beautiful because you are, you idiot!”, you exclaimed, maybe too loud for such a public place.
There is a moment of silence. Soap stares at you in utter surprise for a moment or two before you can see his cheeks pinking and his ears going red.
Just like he did when he was ashamed or nervous.
Usually, you will feel embarrassed about such a thing, but currently, you can’t believe this Scottish man in front of you is not aware that he is beautiful.
“Ya know, I have been called beautiful before, and usually I’m aware of it, but fur some reason, ya tellin’ me that, feels…different”, he softly says, accent rather tick but understandable.
You blink at him.
“Different?”
“Aye, I think is because yar sayin’ it”.
Well, you were the confused one now.
You didn’t answer, you simply turned and kept walking. He jogs to catch up with you, but he doesn’t say anything.
You were at the gates now, listening to Gaz and Ghost conversing about something random with the guards, when John surrounded your waist with an arm and closed in on you until he put his chin on your shoulder.
When you turned, you had to stop suddenly before you accidentally kissed him.
It made your heart race.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry fur the way I reacted. I don’t consider myself beautiful ‘cause I…ya know, we kill and all that, but thanks for lettin’ me know, I like when ya call me that”, he whispers, like he doesn’t want anyone hearing you.
Your heart beats ten times harder and it is your time to blush aggressively.
“Oh”, you tried to make some distance, but he didn’t allow it. You gave up fast because his closeness and warmth were nice. (Who are you lying to? He was a safe space, and he knew it). “I’m sorry for –“
“No, don’t apologize”, he said, smiling softly, “is okay”.
“You sure?”
“Aye”, and after staring for too long you nodded, and he made distance between the two of you so you could enter the base.
But after entering, when you started missing his warmth like the idiot you were, he closed in again, this time just to your ear.
“Yar beautiful too, by the way”, he whispered and then he returned to his normal distance to grin and wink at you.
You tried to act like you weren’t red like a tomato or like your heart hadn’t exploded, but fuckin’ hell, who were you kidding?
That was probably the moment you decided you liked him, like a lot, like more than a coworker or a teammate.
And he didn’t help much, because he just offered his hand, confirming a lot of things.
You took it, wishing you never had to let it go.