Chapter Text
10 November 2022
From: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 9:15 AM
To: All Staff
Subject: MEMO: New Staff Emails
[1 Attachment]
All Staff,
I would like to remind staff members that, while personalization is not disallowed, we strongly urge everyone to use emails that follow our specific company guidelines and refrain from using personal signatures when communicating with colleagues and vendors in and outside of the studio. This is to ensure the professional conduct and courtesy of our staff and maintain good working and business relations.
Please consider using the format provided (see attached) when creating your new staff email address.
Kind Regards,
Nico Robin
Producer
Grand Line News
__________
From: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 9:23 AM
To: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: MEMO: New Staff Emails
Dear Robin,
I hate my surname and I hate that HR won’t let me change it (something about legal documents…).
Please accept my deepest, humblest apologies for not following the email format guidelines you graciously provided. I beg your forgiveness and hope you understand.
Love,
Sanji
P.S. The blue dress is very becoming on you. You look beautiful today, as always! <3
__________
From: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 9:26 AM
To: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
Subject: Sexual Harassment Policy
[1 Attachment]
Kind Regards,
Nico Robin,
Producer
Grand Line News
__________
From: Usopp <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:35 AM
To: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
CC: All Staff
Subject: Fwd. staff birthday list
[1 Attachment]
Zoro’s birthday is tomorrow. We should celebrate and have cake!!
Usopp
Director, Crew 2
Grand Line News
__________
From: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:37 AM
To: Usopp <[email protected]>
CC: All Staff
Subject: RE: Fwd. staff birthday list
Usopp,
No.
Sincerely,
Sanji
P.S. How did you get your surname to stop showing? How do I do that?
__________
From: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:39 AM
To: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
CC: All Staff
Subject: RE: Fwd. staff birthday list
Fuck you Cook
__________
From: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:42 AM
To: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Subject: Violence & Harassment Policy
[1 Attachment]
Kind Regards,
Nico Robin
Producer
Grand Line News
__________
From: Do Not Reply <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:55 AM
To: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
Subject: Security Alert
Please be advised: Staff are not permitted to make unauthorized changes to standardized company products or software. Any future attempt to do so will result in the deactivation of your account.
__________
From: Vinsmoke Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 10:58 AM
To: Franky <[email protected]>
Subject: Fwd. Security Alert
Franky,
WTF?
Sincerely,
Sanji
__________
From: Franky <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 11:04 AM
To: Sanji <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Security Alert
Sanji-bro, you are BAD at tech. Stop fucking with it before you crash the server.
Also, DO NOT click on porn ads. They are a TRAP. And not the fun kind. If you fuck up the server, I will fuck up YOU.
Also, thanks for the cheese-fries. They’re SUPER!
Franky (C. Flam)
I.T. Department
Grand Line News
P.S. I edited your staff profile. Next time just ask.
__________
From: Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 11:06 AM
To: Franky <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Security Alert
Franky,
Thanks
(Every ad?)
Sincerely,
Sanji
__________
From: Monkey Luffy <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 11:43 AM
To: Sanji <[email protected]>
CC: All Staff
Subject: RE: Fwd. staff birthday list
CAAAKKKEEE!!!
__________
From: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 11:52 AM
To: Sanji <[email protected]>
Subject: [no subject]
Don’t make cake. I don’t like it
__________
From: Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 11:58 AM
To: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: [no subject]
Zoro,
Because I clearly have nothing better to do than make cake for YOU.
Do you even know how many people work at this studio? (That’s a rhetorical question. You’re security. You should know.)
(rhetorical means you don’t have to answer, moss-head)
Now, leave me alone. It’s lunchtime and I’m busy!
Sincerely,
Sanji
P.S. You don’t have to tell me you don’t like cake. I’ve known that since middle-school.
__________
From: Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 12:00 PM
To: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: [no subject]
I just realized that I’ve known you since middle-school. FML
__________
From: Sanji <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 12:15 PM
To: Roronoa Zoro <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: [no subject]
Rice balls in the breakroom fridge.
Monkey D. Luffy created group “East Blue Crew”
Monkey D. Luffy added Roronoa Zoro; Nami <3; God Usopp; Sanji
Monkey D. Luffy
MEAT!
1:06 p.m.
Nami <3
Are you still eating? You’re supposed to be on set!
1:07 p.m.
God Usopp
Luffy, where are you?!?!
1:08 p.m.
God Usopp
Filming starts in 22 min! Go to Studio 2 NOW!!
1:08 p.m.
God Usopp
Zoro!! Fetch Luffy!!
1:09 p.m.
Sanji
HA!
1:10 p.m.
Roronoa Zoro
Fuck off Cook
1:11 p.m.
Roronoa Zoro
Where tf is studio 2
1:22 p.m.
Nami <3
[Download]
Studio Map
1:23 p.m.
God Usopp
Seriously, Zoro. How are you head of security?
1:24 p.m.
Sanji
He’s really big. And thick.
1:25 p.m.
God Usopp
…
1:25 p.m.
Sanji
THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!
1:26 p.m.
Sanji
THICK LIKE DENSE! LIKE STUPID!
1:26 p.m.
Roronoa Zoro
Fuck off Cook
1:27 p.m.
Nami <3
(-_Q)
1:28 p.m.
Monkey D. Luffy
Meat ?
1:30 p.m.
[Transcript: November 10, 2022 Segment 04]
[SOUND CUE]
[JINBE] Welcome back to Grand Line News, where we report by the hour, on the hour. For the latest updates on world politics and current events, we’ve got you covered. Making news this hour, an Alabasta man is digging a well by hand to try to alleviate the suffering of the people in Yuba caused by an ongoing drought. The drought has had disastrous effects on Yuba’s environment and economy in the last couple of months, so much so that many citizens are leaving their homes and livelihoods to look for work elsewhere. We now go to our foreign correspondent, Portgas Ace for a closer look. Ace.
[CUT TO ACE]
[ACE] Thanks, Jinbe! Earlier this week, I visited the village of Yuba in south-west Alabasta: what once was a desert oasis for travellers is now a place even hotter than me! And don’t get me wrong: I like it hot. Which is why Alabasta is one of my favourite places in all four Blues, because if you, too, like the heat, oh boy! are peace negotiations heating up between King Nefertari and the Rebel Army. Tensions are as high as temperatures here in Alubarna, where the World Government has deployed Marines from Loguetown to maintain order and prevent further civilian casualties.
[CUT TO FOOTAGE] [VOICE OVER]
[CUT TO ACE]
[ACE] Captain Smoker, here, is the man tasked with keeping the peace in Alubarna during negotiations, and another great example of just how hot Alabasta can be—
[PRODUCER’S EDIT]
[ACE] Back to you, Jinbe!
[CUT TO STUDIO]
[JINBE] Thank-you, Ace, for that… um. That. Now, here’s Nami with the five-day forecast.
[CUT TO GREEN SCREEN]
[NAMI] Let’s hope that Alabasta peace negotiations go swimmingly, because Alubarna is in for a torrential downpour this weekend. If only they could share some of that rain with Yuba, eh? Ha ha… ha. Ahem. Anyway…
From: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 4:30 PM
To: Portgas Ace <[email protected]>
Subject: GLN Code of Conduct; GLN Dress Code
[2 Attachments]
Kind Regards,
Nico Robin
Producer
Grand Line News
East Blue Crew
God Usopp
Does anyone know how to get rid of vomit stain from grape juice?
5:13 p.m.
Sanji
Vinegar and baking soda
5:16 p.m.
Sanji
Dare I ask?
5:16 p.m.
Monkey D. Luffy
Did you see my show today?! :D
5:17 p.m.
Sanji
Ah. Never mind
5:18 p.m.
From: Brook <[email protected]>
Date: November 10, 2022 5:26 p.m.
To: Nico Robin <[email protected]>
Subject: Purchase Request
[1 Attachment]
Ms. Nico,
Please find attached a request for new sound equipment for Studio 2 to replace existing equipment that no longer exists due to death by grape vomit.
Humbly,
Brook
Sound & Lighting Director
Grand Line News
Marimo
Roronoa Zoro
Did u leave kitchen door unlocked
7:56 p.m.
Sanji
Of course not! I’m not an idiot!
7:57 p.m.
Sanji
Why?
7:58 p.m.
Sanji
WHY?
8:05 p.m.
Sanji
You’d better not fucking be in my fucking kitchen, moss-head! I’ll know if you are!
8:07 p.m.
Sanji
Why are you still at work anyway? Your shift ended at 6.
8:08 p.m.
Sanji
Zoro?
8:20 p.m.
Roronoa Zoro
Never mind. Prob nothing
8:46 p.m.
Nojiko @mikan_girl: YESSS! Hot Ace on GLN today!. xD
61 others liked this
Bon-chan @swantastic: Bless GLN for topless reporters. <3
93 others liked this
Inazuma @Wine_Aunt: I’d let Ace top me any day
30 others liked this
Rebecca @RokuBecca: I don’t think it’s appropriate to objectify someone reporting on Alabasta’s national crisis.
446 others liked this
Hawkins @magician replied: What will be will be.
Tashigi @WayOfTheSword: Praying for a peaceful resolution to the civil war.
107 others liked this
Buggy @BombasticBug: Yeah, world government def wants peace. That’s why they sent the marines. *rolls eyes*
15 others liked this
Kid @captain_kid: Fuck the marines
56 others liked this
Doflamingo @joker_69: I’d fuck that marine ;)
Garp @garp38562: ACE!! PUT ON A DAMN SHIRT, YOU DEGENERATE BRAT!!
2 others liked this
Shanks @boss_shanks: Alabasta beer is the best.
61,108 others liked this