Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“Omg gm u r so hot!!11!!” poison looked romanitcallie into her green black red blue red F40 eyes. “stfu poison ur like.. SOOOOOOOO sexy n shit lets kiss” gumball machine says and they romantically kess (KISS KISS FALL IN LO-)

“ur so epic at kissing baba grill” poison saikd very senzuallie. “Mon amor lets make out, ou sont les toilettes(where r the toilet(so dey can kiss kiss))” gumball machine said as she carezed her head veri romance (chat shes so ramantickle)

“its radical!!!!” poisons fone chimes notification sound. this is so not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. “ughh!!! What stanky hoe is trying to talk to me as i romanticalie make out w my gurl!!!”\

Poizen sighed an picked up the phoen. “Who tf is this im abt to kiss mi girl dawg >:(((((“

“YOU STUPID ASS BITCH!!! YOU PUT NAIR HAIR REMOVER IN MY FUCKING SHAMPOO!!!!” it was feather, poizin putted nair hair remmovel in her shampoo lmao “Oh.. oopsie” she hung up and brushes it off as feather has a mental breakdown because her hair is gone (l+ratio)

"Pfft, quoi un loser lmao. she lost her hair poison ur so funny for that!" gumball machine giggles at poisons devious plot.

"Babe we should go on a date :3" poison looks up at her romanticallie again looking so.....uhhh I need a thesaurus uh rlovingly

"Yah Lego"

they go on a date in the next chapter because I have no idea what to post

ERHM this is late but happy lesbian visibility week

bai- liz

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so lmao even tho poison is so fuciking broke ahe cant afford 2.50 wings, her and gm wented to some fancy ass restaraunt

"omega poison this place is so pretty!!!" gumball machine says in french

"ur prettier tho bbg" poison says as she kissed her over the tabel

"ew gross love. wtf do you disgusting freaks want" chocolate bar the homophonic waiter says

"ERHM stfu and get us water. negative slag." poison snaps back cuntily cb sighs angrily and goes to get their water

they wwere talking and stuff before feather busted thru the door looking like that bald James Charles image but a black gyaru

"YOU BITCH YOU PUT NAIR HAIR REMOVAL IN MY SHAMPOO AND THEN U RUN TF AWAY" she shouted angrily.

She ran to poison and started to beat the shit outta her

Poison tries to counter her attack but since Feather is like canonically buff as shit and poison can't fight it was useless

"OMG NO BABE GET UP!!!" Gumball machine shouts to her pookie wookie as said pookie wookie is brutallly strangled in a headlock

"HELL YEAH BRAH FIGHT FIGHT!!" Chocolate Bar shouts from the kitchen as the two squarell

They gotted broken up by po-po and they both gotted arrested for a week

The end

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this chapter was supposed to be posted today but FUCKING AO3 DELETED MOST OF WTF I WROTE

chapter probabalyyyyy idk lmao

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UHHH AGAIN ANOTHER TW FOR A SLUR. DIARY USUES THE N-WORD. This is written by a black person soooo. yae

"ey moonstone, lets get our gfs gifts cuz like we love them!!!!!" Gumball Machine says in french.

"Hell yeah" moonstone and gm go to some store to shop for their gfs as poison and diary wait at home

the two were on the couch when diary said "lmao what if we kiss and nobody knew." she said lowly.

"idk man, gm is so hot but u r also very hot and idk" poison said unsure

"nigga shut all that bullshit up n gimme a kiss"

dey kiss

"...my Spidey senses r tingling." gm says in the store w moonstone, moonstone picked up an actual lightsaber

"o nah ima jedi, what u say?"

"Nahhh, smth happening at home, we gotta check brodie"

they go home and see poison and diary do kiss kiss (they kissed)

"OH NAH U GOT ME FUCKED UP."

"Well , I'm fucking glad that I did kiss kiss w moonstone gf." diary laughs at poison dissing her "Yeah, L+Ratio+GetGud"

moonstone took out her scarily accurate lightsaber "nah I aint goin down like that dawg"

" Of course you are dawg!!" poison takes out her also scarily accurate light saber

diary and gm watch their girlfriendz fight.

..gm do you wanna kiss kiss" "sure lmao"

I have no idea what I'm doing w this fic atp.

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HA, TW FOR USE OF THE N-WORD AGAIN AND OOC SHIT. IDC THIS FIX AIN'T CANON ANYWAYS

Gumball Machine wakes up to an awful stench

"Who tf smellin like shit" she thought to herself and looked at poison, who was omitting some of the most foul ass stench known to man

"....BRUTHA UGH, GET THE HELL UP." She said pushing her to get up

" ..tf u want br-" "nigga you know what the hell I want, you smell like bootycheek acid" gumball machine interrupts her with.

"....It's 4AM GUMBALL MACHINE ?" Poison shouts " I SHOULD NOT BE WAKING UP TO MY BED SMELLING LIKE A FARM BRO. "

"Can I please sleep, you're doing the most rn..."

There was a knock at the dor, gm gets up to open it and it's Broomer in his pink satin robe and hello kitty pajamas.

"Hey queen, don't mean to disturb but I can smell Poison next door and I'm kinda reading Chalky a bedtime story, can you wash that hoe? Thanks bookie <3" he says politely

"Yeah I'm sorry girlie pop, continue reading good night moon to chalky.." she said embarrassed before shutting the door

Poison was in the bedroom still sleeping

"GET THE FUCK UP AND WASH 🗣️‼️" Gumball Machine shouted as she stormed back upstairs

Tf do i do w the rest of this.

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Gumball Machine got al mad and picks Poison's big ass up. "YOU ARE 23 I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS" she fussed as she took the kicking woman-child to the bathroom.

She tossed her in the bath and yanks the shower on "NO, MY MUSK. MY CHARACTER." She exclaims dramatically, like its Shakespeare.

Gumball Machine throws Dove body wash and lile 5 different soaps in the bath and grabs her scrubbrush, scrubbing her aggressively.

"BRO STOP MY CLOTHES STILL ON-" Poison tries to shout over her "WELL BITCH WE WASH YOU AND YOUR CLOTHES WITH THIS ONE" she fussess as she scratched and bonked with the scrub brush.

Poison scrambled as soap got in her eyes. "NSNSSKDKDLRMD MY EYES FUCK YOU." She shouted even more annoyed.

"THEN LEARN HOW TO BATHE MOTHA FUCKA"

She tried to lift Poison's arm bt she wasn't cooperating.

"BITCH LIFT YOUR ARM UP." "NO, IONWANNA" Poison cried out and Gumball Machine was gen tweaking trying to wash this biohazard of a woman.

 "STOP MY HAIR, IMA BLACK WOMAN DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DOES TO MY HAIR STOPSNBSENN" Poison kept whining. "THIS ISN'T EVEN A HUMANIZED AU. SHUT THE FUCK UP"

It appears Gumball Machine is so angry she breaks the fourth wall.

when she was done all she threw at her was a towel

"Dry yourself and on GOD if i see mold im killing myself." Gumball Machine left her in the bathroom.

 She watched her step out the tub looking like a drenched mop dog

"...Ion wanna." Poison grumbles

The foghorn that went off 24/7 was lifted because Poison finally chose to shower after so fucking long and the air is no longer polluted

Happy poisonmachine day erhm nsnsnnsmmeens i love poisonmachine

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HAGA TW:This is so god awful cringe like i expect to hate myself in a week

It was a very sugoi desu day at eee kawaii uwu chan high school

The speakers turned on "GET THE FUCK TO CLASS OR WERE THROWING YOU BACK IN THE COALMINES." the person over the loudspeak says....loudly

"Ugh... That principal is suck a baka!" Gumball Machine pouts and crosses her arms, Poison leaned against the lockers next to her, looking cool as shit. "Well... At least i have my bbg with me.. you and me against the world snookums!"

She hugs Gm romanticalie.

Diary and Moonstone are walking and talking when poison and gm are quite literally making out in front of their lockers

"Erhm... honey thats my locker-"

Poison unpins herself from Gm and turns slowly to the blue and pink yuri couple that will totally be canon trust me I'm webz."...Who the fuck is interrupting me and my gummy.." she says angrily

"Bitch i said that's my locker, move your furry ass out my way" she gets closer to her

"Uhm Diary maybe we should just skip our lo-" Diary shushes Moonstone. "hush love, I'm getting this bitch to move rather she wants to or not."

Diary breathes in and out.

"So listen here, I see you're a .. stable- couple to say the least. But allow me to make this clear girls. You're gonna stop making out here because you guys really are not that scary! Like youre humiliating honey and its so embarrassing to watch you wear fucking CAT EARS AND WOLF TAILS. Like i know therians and shit are popular but like at school??? Crazyyy, and Poison you act like a DOG when someone stands up to you sooooo-"

She shoved the two out the way and took moonstones hand, allowing them both to access their lockers

This got Poison-chan mad. "...You..BAKA!!! I- HOW COULD YOU PUSH ME AND MY LOVE OUT THE WAY FOR YOUR DUMB **BOOKS** FOR SCHOOL!!!"

"BITCH YALL NEEDA ACT NORMAL." Diary shouts at them. "I-i-i-i-i-i-i" Gumball Machine sutters. "I-i-i" bitch "y-y-you" needa shut the fuck up, damn." Moonstone mutters lowly. "OHHH OKAY MOONSTONE? YOU WANNA GO THERE??" Poison shouts at her.

"P-poison-chan it's okay.. i-im okay...I deserve it anyways, heh :)" she said, nearly crying

"Thats it... You guys urked my nerve.." she tried to tower over the two (highlighting "tried" cuz she failed) "you guys made my kitten cry.... You'll pay for this.."

She gets on all fours and started to bark at them, Moonstone jumps into Diary's arms.

"AHW HELL NAH HOLD ME DIARY-" Moonstone shouts, clinging to Diary for dear life as this self proclaimed "Alpha" barked at them...in public, in school, on all fours..

"OH MY GOD ITS BARKING AT US-" Diary shouts and she ran off with Moonstone bridal style.

Poison smirks and gets back on her two legs.

"Hah.. that'll show em.." Gumball Machine went back up to Poison and kissed her again. "I love you.. my silly baka" she whispered. "I love you too, my Popeyes biscuit with no drink.."

They make out again against the lockers

Diary and Moonstone finally escaped from the two mongrals

Moonstone sighs and then realized "H-oh my god.. you- a-and me and I-"

Moonstone blushed as she looked up at Diary. "..What?"

"You..defended me-" Moonstones eyes turn to literal hearts as she swooned over the scene, Diary sighs. "Of course? You're my bestie??"

Moonstone giggled delusionally as she nearly passed out in lovee

The end

Heh... Should i continue this au 🎀🎀

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gm the freaker was freaking on a freaky night, awaiting the arrival of her freaky lover, poison the freaker. "Oh Poison the freaker... come back plis...i have..𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓭𝓪... and 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓮𝓼... the freakiest of freaky snacks.."

She sighed, looking at the time, her freakie deakie wasnt here and she was about to freaking kill herselvf.

"...Heh, suicide looks kinda fine rn..ngl" she looked down at the window

"DO A FLIP!!!!" her intrusive thoughts were shouting at her.

she was about to do a backflip when her love, her frealkes..her babybooper snuffle muff, poison the freaker finally came home!!!

She went downstairs to meet her at the door

"HI MY FREAKER MUFFLE!!!" she greated her at the door, poison the freaker was holding a bouquet of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 flowers. "Heh, hay Bbg, mommys home 😈😈😈‼️‼️‼️‼️"

she kissed her freakie mikny (im running out of freaky nicknames.) on the cheek and gave her the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bouquet.

"plis come on in!11!!! I have some top teir freaky ideas and plans for us!! We'll have so much fun :D"

"Wtv you say my oombookles <3"

They walk into gms room, gm shut room door.

Gm:"Heh..𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸 𝓥𝓻𝓸" gm freakily said in a freaky tone

P:"Hello senpai"

Gm:"..lets commence our freakified night of nothing but freak."

P:"Yes"

They watch freaky movies, eat freaky snack, and do freaky rituals to summon freak god or wtv

And have a freaky night

Th end

Idk the end i needed to update this i have too much freetime

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Poison pov:i was driving

gm: i was in the passenger seat

Drunk driver: I AM SO FUCKING HATEFUL OF GAYS. I SENSE ONE!!!!1 **DRIVES FASTAR!!!!!**

poison and gm: "oh no"

car crash

drunk drivar:joobie_happyandcheering_emoji

poison: dead

gm: somehow alive: omg poison get up!!! poison!!! you have to cancel our netflix subscription!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO WORK AN ELEVATOR PLEASE WAKE UP1!!

poison died

the end

yeah, ik ur crying. its js so angsty u cant handle.

L bozo

oh yeah the drunk driver was brutally killed by gm i guess, if that makes u feel better

i had no ideas for ANY of my fics. brain fard

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Chat...my brain is slowly forgetting how to write..

Moonstone: You know...I REALLY love Mitski..

Diary:I love Mitski too!!!!

Moonstone:...I love you..

Diary: Ilyt lets kith

they kith and get married,sharing love for mitski.. and they make out idfk

....

oh yeah poison is still dead btw I just REALLY need you to know I hc moonstone and diary love mitski

Mitski so cool, I wanna bet on losing dogs...

what the fuck is gonna happen to all my fics when i finally give up eee.. idk

baibai!

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Hey guys!!!! It's me epic rizzler guzzling soundizzrr, poison!!!!! from threeeee!!!!!!! So awesome

Today im gonna teach you the ways of the rizz...

Its actually how I pulled my gf!!!!!!

Lets go to my very hot pretty gf 😁😁😁

Poison walks over to her gf and leans against the wall gm conveniently was leaned against

"Hay bbg, did it hurt" poison starts her pickup like

Gm looked up at her, blushing

"..hurt when i-"

"Heh, hurt when you fell into my arms"

She picked up her gf and uhm, pins her to the wall.

"Heh...Poison ur so rowmantick!!!!" She giggled

Smartie pulled up from whereever he was (do NOT expect lore in a shitty satire book.) and saw his mom..getting RIZZED BY POISON!!!!!

"OH HELL NAW, POISON JEAN-BAPTISTE. GTFOFF MY MOM."

Poison and Gm look at Smartie

"Who's this kitten?" Poison asks Gm. "Ugh.. Just the kid who I pay child support for!" Gm scoffs him off.

" Mother, I acquire nutrients. " Smartie pleads, only for his mom to ignore him and continue on w poison.

"Stfu, anyways yes senpai daddy kins ill be ur wife! >_<"

Gm and poison kiss, smartie dies of malnourishment.

the end.

idfk i dont rememeber this book.