Chapter Text
Till stood there, the ringing in his ears kept getting louder and louder, he felt numb, like always, but this time it was different as a figure was laid down on the floor in front of him, motionless as a dark shade of red spread out to his shoes, reflecting letters which spell out: 'Till Wins', words that just assured on what Till feared the most to happen.
Till felt an ache in his stomach, wanting to just spill it all out, yet he couldn't do anything. He stood over a body, moments ago that was alive, there were still warmth in those hands, until Till felt a coolness wash over and hands that were previously on his neck, retreated. Till opened his eyes, seeing a gentle and genuine smile laid bare on Ivan's lips as it was stained with the color red, undoubtedly blood. Eyes that shined at him momentarily. Before Till could even react, Ivan falls to the ground, unmoving.
Till couldn't do anything, no— nothing at all. He was helpless, he didn't even think he deserved to live, yet Ivan, a precious friend, died for him.
Why?
Till hadn't noticed until now, the eyes that followed his every movement and the seemingly small child that followed him everywhere, the gaze that always seemed to find it's way to Till, a company that Till never asked for but found comfort in, the annoying and weird kid that comes to him every single time he sees him, taking care of him when he wasn't looking, going back to this place just for him. The hand that held his as they ran through the sky filled with meteors, he never felt so free back then. So alive and yet he ruined that freedom for one that would put him in shackles, he didn't know why he'd go back here, he didn't know why he came back for a love that wasn't even directed at him. Yet, he risked it.
Guess love does things to someone, he never even considered the possibilities of escaping until Ivan gave him the chance to be free but he chose to go back for the one that he loved not the one that obviously loved him. Guilt made it's way to him once he saw that Ivan had also come back, had followed him back to this hellhole, had came back just for him, also knowing the consequences he'll have to face. Till felt the shame drown him every time he ever so glance at Ivan, so he does what he always had, ignore him until Ivan pisses him off.
But...
He never knew it will end like this though, he never knew that the choice he made will actually change everything, Ivan, an annoying man, someone Till took for granted, one Till befriended, his best friend. Dead, right in front of him.
"Why?"
Was all Till could mutter as heavy rain clashed with his body and the one in front of him, eyes widened, trying to find signs of breathing (for his own sanity), the body was motionless, Till wanted to scream, wanted to scream at Ivan, want to scream at himself for letting Ivan die just like that, he wanted to yell and punch him and ask why did he do it. He can't even feel his own body anymore, consumed by the thoughts of Ivan. Ivan, Ivan, Ivan.
He wanted to go closer, to see that stupid face again and that smile that shined at him, the eyes that looked at him as if he was his world, only to find eyes that no longer had a sparkle, filled with emptiness that Till couldn't even look at him properly. Till finds himself hugging the figure, warmth was replaced by the coldness of the body, caressing the cheek and slowly wiping the blood off the lips. if he wasn't covered in blood, Till would probably thought he was asleep, he looked beautiful even in death.
The kiss still lingered in Till's lips, the moment where his body still emitted heat. Where warmth was shared between them just for a minute.
How cruel of him, to leave him here and only gave him a lifeless body.
Finally accepting the truth, Till kissed the corpse with desperation, until his lips were covered in that same hue, until Till's vision was engulfed in darkness, never once letting go of the body that gave him everything.
Till realized Ivan loved him.
Slowly opening his eyes, Till no longer felt a body in his grasp, Till panicked.
Did the Aliens already took him away and drugged Till to fall asleep?
Till wanted to go out, to escape the room and punch those bastards, but he found himself... small? Hands of a baby but undoubtedly his, Till tried to take in his surroundings, he was in a.. cage of sorts, yet the top wasn't sealed at all, strange, wouldn't he be in his room? This place looked different and weird. There were toys littered everywhere, either way he wanted to get out, but he finds himself struggling to walk, he tried to speak but could only make noise.
What the hell?!
Suddenly a sound came from the door, Till was cautious and wary, those Alien bastards, what the hell did they do to him?!
Unexpectedly, not the Aliens were the ones that came into the room, humans? And they resemble Till in a way, the male one had grey hair like him and had black eyes, though the woman had the teal eyes Till has but with brown hair. He finds it really, really weird, are they, his parents? No, no way, but Till thankfully understand the words they were speaking.
"Oh my god, honey! Till finally stood up! Wait for me here, I'll get my phone!"
"Be careful not to trip, we'll be waiting here for you."
The man looked at Till and smiled as the woman left to get something Till didn't know, he was seriously confused as hell and thought that he had permanently gone insane, yet everything felt so real. Till had to calm himself down first and see what will happen for the next couple of days to understand what happened and what world is this.
A couple years has passed and Till had fully adapted to living in this world, the man and woman was actually his parents and it seems like this world his in is actually not ruled by the Aliens which Till was relieved of, he was now at the age of 6 where he would finally go to an Elementary School, which is coincidentally named Anakt, which Till didn't quite have the good memories in his 'past life' (he calls it that since he became nerdy and reads tons of books based on Reincarnation).
His first day of school, waking up early which was easy for Till since he basically was an early bird, putting on his uniform for the first time, eating his Mother's delicious cooking and finally being driven to school by his Father. He was nervous but also quite excited since this is the first time he will experience a normal life for once, he was finally given a chance to live better and he wasn't gonna let it down.
Till is still the same as he always is, he likes drawing and composing songs just for himself, even origami! (since Anakt Garden where Till made flower art, here instead he likes origami), he performs for his parents sometimes if he feels like it, Till never felt so free ever. Of course not like the first time he felt it. Even living a better life, Till would always find a way for Ivan to be in his thoughts, strange really, if Till was reincarnated, maybe the others were too? No- too good to be true, yet he wishes for it to happen, he wanted to meet him again, to look at him properly this time, to apologize even if Ivan will probably never remember.
But it's alright, remembering is a much more painful punishment then knowing absolutely nothing at all. Till would definitely like to rebuild their friendship if he ever met him here in this world.
And how lucky Till had gotten when in his first day, there they were, Mizi, Sua, Ivan, heck even Luka is there, sitting in their chairs. Till would like to thank the god who let this happened, he was so happy that he didn't noticed that their Teacher was calling his name in front to introduce himself, which embarrassingly had him red but quickly able to introduced himself with no big deal. The Teacher had him sit next to Ivan, he was so anxious, he wasn't even prepared for their interaction yet he was already sitting next to him?
Ivan just waved and smiled at him then continued to listen to the discussion of the Teacher, right, this world is different, so of course Ivan won't look at him and tease him anymore, no, they were strangers in this one, Till kinda felt a stab to his heart but just ignores it and to doodled on some paper while he listen to the Teacher blabbering about something and also introducing herself to them, stuff that didn't matter so Till continues to doodle away, finally a familiar stare was laid upon him, Ivan was staring but it wasn't the same gaze, probably just interested by Till's drawing prior to his past self just doodling away while Ivan sat by his side and stares at him drawing Mizi, how nostalgic it feels.
"Your pretty good at drawing, Till."
Shit- Till wasn't ready.
"Yeah, lots of practice can make a person good at something."
Till hoped it wasn't too nerdy, what was he even doing, Till is freaking out in his mind.
"Yeah, practice makes perfect as the saying goes."
That cheeky grin, his fang sticking out, for god's sake, Till missed it. He didn't know how long it was to see that smile again, how long it was that Ivan was actually alive and well. Till can't help but want to draw him, every single detail, every smile and every expression laid bare on Ivan's face, he wanted to capture that image, he wanted the world to see how Ivan was simply breathtaking.
"Till? You okay? You've been staring at me for a minute."
Till answered as fast as the warmth had reached his cheeks, looking away in complete embarrassment.
"I um.. was just observing your.. your features! I do that to um- to help me draw someone! Yeah- that's why, sorry if it's weird."
Till was such a sore loser, he wasn't used to being nice or anything that needs words! Completely blowing his first impression moreover his first impression for Ivan! What will he think of him now?
"Then.. could you draw me?"
Ivan pointed at himself, seemingly wanting to see what he would look like in Till's drawing, pretty ecstatic about it, of course Till couldn't refuse no matter what Ivan asked, he has quite a soft spot for him. Till focused on his drawing, of course what Ivan didn't know was that Till had drawn him, not once or twice, more like multiple times until his desk was covered in papers (Desk at home), he actually put so much effort on trying to remember Ivan's face before, so this, this opportunity to finally look at Ivan properly was a weight Till never knew he carried, felt lighter.
After awhile, Till could proudly say that this drawing was by far the best he had done, giving it to Ivan and seeing his face in shock and joy made Till felt the efforts worth the reaction.
"You.. can keep it if you want."
"Really? Thank you so much Till, I'll actually treasure this, it's so good and the way you capture my smile is so- no words could describe it."
Of course, the face that bared that smile is something Till would never forget, as he was the one who would be able to get Ivan to smile so genuine, the one Ivan would even follow to hell if needed. The one Ivan considered his everything.