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The silence that fell between Lilith and Hunter was almost too loud. It was painful. It seemed to speak more than words between them ever could. After all, what do you even say to your ex-coworker after years of never speaking? ‘How are things?’, ‘Any plans for the weekend?’ Yeah, things are great! I’ve just been facing my past demons every single day and have trouble adjusting to normal life outside of a castle. Nothing too big!
Lilith had taken Hunter in for the night. She was staying at her parent’s house for a while, and at this point in the evening, Gwen and Dell were both sleeping. They had no idea some scrapped up teenage boy was in their house wearing one of Dell’s old work flannels to replace his torn up uniform that had now been thrown into the garbage. The flannel was very oversized. It had many holes in it, and it smelt of sawdust. It was the comfiest thing Hunter had worn in a long time. He might just keep it if Lilith lets him. She wouldn’t mind, would she?
Hunter seemed to be deep in thought as they both sat across from each other at the kitchen table. He slowly sipped on some lavender and chamomile tea that Lilith had made him earlier. It brought back peaceful memories of when he would have tea with Lilith as a child after a long day of training. Sometimes they would sit in silence just like this, but it was a lot more comfortable. Sometimes Hunter would be so excited about the day that he would yap on and on to Lilith about what he wanted to do tomorrow. She would just smile and nod along, and that’s really all he needed. He always loved that Lilith would just sit and listen to him.
He might need that now more than ever.
There was so much to say, so much to apologize for. The guilt weighed on him now that he was away from the castle and could think for himself. Deep down, he never wanted to leave Lilith in the dust all those years ago. He hated it at first. But as he grew up, he shoved the feeling way down into his gut so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it again. He had to become a stronger, more independent warrior in order to climb up the ranks, and Lilith had to do the same. But now that Hunter was free, he realized he shouldn’t have been so mean to her. And Lilith felt likewise for him as well. That woman took care of him for so long and they both had the nerve to neglect each other for a man in a mask who meant hardly anything to either of them anymore. Seriously, what were they thinking?
Eventually, Lilith decided to speak. The silence was killing both of them.
“…how are you feeling?”
Hunter looked up from his cup with a confused expression.
“Like… just now, or?…”
Lilith shrugged.
“I mean, in general too. It’s, um… it’s been a long time…”
Hunter thought for a moment, fiddling with the sleeve of his flannel. How was he feeling?
“Well… right now, I’m feeling better. But in general…”
Lilith pushed her cup of tea aside to listen to Hunter more as he continued.
“I’m… not proud of the person I became… I hurt a lot of people. Most times, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had to in order to survive. It was my job. It was the only reason I was… created.”
It felt weird saying that. Hunter was never born, he was created. That’s something he would never get used to knowing.
“You did what you had to do… there was no choice but to survive in the Emperor’s Coven. It was a cruel life that you didn’t deserve to live, and Titan, I wish I could’ve taken you away from all of it…” Lilith reached out her hand to interlock with Hunter’s. She took her other hand and placed it over his. To him, the contact felt warm. Peaceful. It felt so familiar, like the home he always yearned to go back to.
It felt like he could cry.
“I hurt people too, Hunter. I did terrible things that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for... sure, I was hurt that things changed between us, but I always knew it was never your fault. You were growing up. I knew I could only have you under my wing for so long, and we both had important duties to fulfill.”
Lilith hesitated for a moment. She absolutely did not want to make all of this about her, but now she and Hunter were both being honest. Everything had to be laid out on the table sooner or later whether she liked it or not.
“For a while, I thought… maybe it was something I did, or—“
“No!”
Lilith was taken aback by the sudden exclamation. Hunter realized this and explained further.
“…It was never anything you did… I was stupid for being so mean to you after all you did for me. You practically raised me, and… no, you did raise me. You were always there for me no matter what… I remember wishing all the time that you were my mom. You were so kind to me all those years, and I just threw it all away… I’m so sorry, Lilith… I was an ass...”
Lilith sighed and shook her head. She leaned in more to make eye contact with Hunter.
“Hunter, you were not an ‘ass’… I mean, maybe a little, but you were a child… it was always a matter of life or death, and you had to remain strong. We all did.”
Hunter had to look away. If he made eye contact, he knew he would start crying on the spot. Lilith continued.
“You’re forgetting that I was mean to you too, Hunter. I was awful… I found myself growing jealous of your title, and I shouldn’t have let myself be so intimidated by a teenager. Especially one that I raised to become the brave and resilient young man sitting right in front of me... I am so proud of you… despite everything, I’ve always been proud.”
She was… proud of him? Not angry, not dismissive, she was proud. Hunter didn’t know what to think of it.
“I… thought you hated me…”
Lilith started to tear up. She just wanted to hug Hunter so tightly and never let go. She gripped onto his hand more firmly as her voice started to crumble.
“Sweetheart, I never hated you. Nothing could ever make me hate you… I was upset and bitter for a long time, but I never stopped caring about you. I often found myself up late some nights worrying about you and your safety… I always thought of you like you were my own son, and raising you made my time in that horrid castle worth staying for… you made it all worth it, Hunter… you will always be worth it to me…”
When Hunter finally mustered up the courage to look Lilith in her eyes, he saw them glistening with tears. He felt the sting in his throat and knew he was next. He didn’t want to make Lilith cry, that was the last thing he wanted to do now. He immediately took a deep breath and shut his eyes tight in an attempt to stop the tears. It hardly worked. Hunter released his grip from Lilith’s hands, got up from his seat, and slowly walked over to her with his head hung low. She was confused, but when he offered out his arms for a hug, she stood up and gently wrapped her arms around him with no hesitation. Lilith cradled the back of Hunter’s head and rocked them both side to side as his voice began to shake and tremble.
“I missed you so much… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Lilith found herself starting to cry as well. Her heart ached at the sound of Hunter’s pain.
“Oh Birdy, I’m sorry too… I missed you terribly.”
That damn nickname would be the death of him. Hunter couldn’t hold back anymore, and he began to sob into Lilith’s cardigan. She only held him tighter, letting her tears fall. She ran her fingers through his hair, and continued to sway them both side to side as Hunter rambled in almost a decade’s worth of tear-stained apologies that he buried so deep inside of him, he barely even knew they existed.
“Hey, shh, it’s alright, Birdy… I’ve got you now… you’re okay, shh…” Lilith knew Hunter had needed this for a long time. She could tell by his sobs that were so violent his whole body shook. She needed this as well, and she let him cry as much as he needed to. But she wouldn’t let him hyperventilate into unconsciousness.
“Breathe for me, love… I need you to breathe, okay?”
Hunter nodded. His hand found its way to where Lilith’s heart was. He held it there, feeling her surprisingly quick heartbeat. Must have been from their shared crying.
Lilith was here, and she was here with Hunter. And he needed to breathe. He repeated the words in his head as he slowly stopped reeling. He suddenly found himself feeling lighter, but also more exhausted than he had ever been before. He had been strong for so long, and now he was just so tired. Hunter could barely keep his eyes open as he slumped against Lilith’s chest. She lifted his face up towards her with cupped hands. She couldn’t help but smile. Her boy was with her once again. And most importantly, he was safe now. As long as he was with her, she would do absolutely anything it took to keep him safe. She tried not to resort to violence anymore, but the fact that she would kill for him never changed, and it never will.
Hunter looked at Lilith’s tear-stained face with guilt.
“…I’m sorry I made you cry…”
Lilith laughed. She couldn’t help it. She just found it so baffling that after everything they told each other, Hunter was still worried about making her cry.
“I’m okay, hon… don’t worry about me, alright?”
Of course Hunter was still going to worry, but he was too worn out to do so at the moment.
“Think you’re ready for bed now?” Lilith asked, gently scratching her nails through Hunter’s hair.
Hunter nodded lazily, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier.
Lilith agreed, although she might stay up for a couple more hours or so once Hunter falls asleep. She might just watch over him for a bit to make sure he was okay. She felt weird about it, but she worried for him. He had been hurting for so long, and she wasn’t there to help him when he needed her most. She was going to do everything in her power to be there for him now to make up for all the years she missed.
Lilith took Hunter upstairs so he could sleep in her bed. She would gladly sleep on the couch for him. She stayed by his side, running her fingers through his hair and humming a melody she made up on the spot. Just like she used to do when he was a boy. Hunter was knocked out cold almost immediately, which Lilith expected. She stayed a while longer after he succumbed to his slumber, watching his chest slowly rise and fall. Steady breaths. He was okay. He was safe.
As long as Hunter was with Lilith now, no one would lay a finger on him.
No one would ever hurt her boy again.