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Awsten normally liked to spend his time before their sets alone. He had to decompress a little from the meet and greets that just took place. Not to mention, change into the outfits he planned for the tour. After being on top of each other in a tour bus, it’s nice to have some space and privacy.
Except, tonight, he’s feeling a little different. He allows himself some mindless scrolling on twitter. His timeline is mostly flooded with the fans he just met posting about how he squared up on them, gushing about how sweet he and his bandmates were. Others were posting photos and videos from the opener’s sets. He idly scrolls until he comes across a particular photo.
Two girls on top of each other, the girl on top doing the other’s makeup. The smirks they were giving each other made it look like they were together. Who knows if they were, but people in the comments were unashamed in commenting when it was going to be their turn to have a moment like that.
He himself wondered when it was his turn, to have someone pretty make him look pretty. Somehow (like this hasn’t plagued his brain for years at this point) his brain wanders off and imagines Otto. Otto, with his firm thighs bracketing his hips as he leans over Awsten. Otto, with his long hair tickling Awsten’s face as he gets up close. Otto, as his face stays focused but soft with a smile as he’s applying his face paint. Otto’s calloused hands as one grips his shoulder for balance and the other meticulously painting. Otto, Otto, Otto.
His thumb swipes out of the twitter app, and into iMessage. A chat between him and Otto is open. He types and hits send before he can even think about it.
Can u come to my room for a min
😍
Yeah, sure.
Is everything okay?
I need your help with something real quick pretty pls
Everything’s 👍
😍
I’ll be down in a sec
What the fuck did he just do. In his brief moment of yearning, he manages to do something stupid, and he isn’t sure how to fix it. A “nvm” text just sounds rude. It’s not a long walk from the other green rooms to his, but it’s still weird that he specifically asked for Otto to come see him. Hopefully Otto is still technologically inept to not notice it wasn’t sent in the group chat.
(He highly doubts that.)
A quick knock at the door breaks Awsten from his moment of panic, only for the panic to come back tenfold. Maybe he could just ask for a different, more normal favor. Makeup is too…intimate. Awsten definitely isn’t going to picture it being platonic after his mind took him elsewhere.
“Come in!” He remembers to say. From his spot on the small couch he’s on, he sees the door crack open. Otto opens the door enough to slither himself through, pausing to look at Awsten before he shuts the door. Maybe he’s just seeing things, but it looks like Otto’s cheeks were ever so slightly flushed.
“I uh..wasn’t sure if you changed yet,” Otto trails off, brown eyes again darting quickly down Awsten’s body. He himself feels his face burning. Tonight he’s chosen his black mesh shirt to wear under the overalls he’s been wearing every show. It gives him more of a chance to literally air himself out, but he also likes how he looks in it. The fans do too. Sue him.
“Yeah, I’m dressed, I’m good.”
Otto still stands a little awkwardly at the door. His hand left the handle once he’d pulled it close, but he could totally make an escape if he needed to. “What did you need help with?” The other man cleared his throat. Here goes nothing.
“Do my makeup?”
“Yeah, totally, lemme just fuck up your face right before we go on,” Otto laughs. Awsten keeps the nervous smile on his face and hopes it conveys that he’s kinda serious.
“Wait, really?”
He nods, tries to casually shrug despite his heart beating quite hard. “Yeah, why not?”
Otto narrows his eyes, not buying it at all. “‘Cause you’re like, really specific about how you do your crosses. I could never do them better than you.”
True. He has been a little bit of a perfectionist with his stage makeup in the past, and about anything else, really. There’s plenty of moments Otto, and other members of the tour saw him fretting over the stars and crosses.
“Even when I do them they’re not perfect, I’m no makeup artist.”
“And I am?” Otto’s still skeptical, but he’s making time to be teasing. Of course he wouldn’t be able to get the drummer to do anything without virtually begging him to. He has to call Otto 8 to 9 times just to get him to pick up the phone when they’re off tour, only for the brunet to still give Awsten a hard time for whatever he wanted. It’s a little annoying at times, but Awsten thrives on the chase. He thrives even more when Otto gives him what he wants.
He’s running out of ways to lure him in, so he takes the route he knows best; being a dramatic diva. He dramatically rolls his eyes and slumps back into the not very comfy couch.
“I don’t feel like doing it Otto!” He groans. It’s implied that someone needs to do his makeup, but it won’t be him. “And you’re here, so…”
“Lucky me,” Otto quips back, before giving him (hopefully) one last bit of hesitancy. “You sure?”
It’s working. He keeps his growing giddiness down and gives what he hopes is an encouraging smile. “Positive.”
“And if I mess it up?”
“Even if you did - which you won’t - I’ll still flaunt it on stage. If someone gives me shit for it, we’ll blame it on Jawn.”
It takes Otto a few seconds to think the deal over, some of the longest seconds in Awsten’s life. The other gives a sigh of faux-defeat. “Where’s your makeup bag, ‘cause I know you don’t feel like grabbing it either.”
Awsten beams, got him. “Should be on top of my backpack by the vanity.”
Otto follows his directions, easily finding the small cosmetic bag before walking over to Awsten’s spot. It’s (thankfully) more logical to do it on the couch as there’s enough room for both of them to sit, but it’s still loveseat sized. The room itself is pretty small, the venue’s doing their best.
Awsten sits up and turns himself to only take up one half of the couch. He pats the spot that’s now across from him. It’s too risky to try and have them sit exactly as the girls did in the photo. He doesn’t want to make Otto any more uncomfortable. That, and Awsten didn’t want to get too excited down there. “Here, so you can sit too.”
“How generous of you.” Otto plops down in front of him. They stare at each other for a few seconds. Okay, Awsten’s not imagining Otto being flushed. Probably because he just tasked him to do his makeup, aka a big part of the show.
He can’t take the awkwardness slowly building here. “You know how to do it, right?”
Otto blinks away, blinks back to him, slowly his head. “A cross on each eye?”
“Yep, the left one’s upside down,” to try and further eliminate the awkwardness, he goes right back into teasing. “You haven’t been paying attention to my beautiful face?”
“Nah, I’ve been a bit busy keeping the tempo so we don’t fuck up our set.” Otto stalls with pulling out the green face paint, the tiny tube it is. “And you’re usually facing the crowd…so how should I…”
Awsten pushes his red fringe back as best as he could. He should’ve listened to the fans to invest in some hair clips, but he loves telling them no so much more. “I start with outlining the shape then I fill it in. Also, I turn around to face you a lot!”
He only said the last part to help his argument, but he’s not sure it did. It’s true though, he’s always looking to Geoff and Otto mid-song. Years have gone by since his crippling stage fright days, but it grounds him to see his best friends onstage with him. That, and maybe he likes to especially take a quick glance at Otto while he’s off in his rhythmic world. Awsten feels almost entranced even, if only he didn’t have to sing the damn song Otto was beautifully drumming to.
“That I do notice, but it’s so quick all I see is this bright lightness around your eyes,” Otto takes a turn in swiping the last few wisps of hair away from his forehead. Sue him, it feels nice. Awsten fails to not react to the fingers running through his hair. His eyes flutter close, and he keeps them that way out of embarrassment.
“Kay, I’m gonna start…” Otto trails off. Seconds later, he feels the familiar feeling of the paint being swiped on his forehead. The brunet is clearly still hesitant, it’s showing in his quick but very light touches of the applicator. Awsten finds it cute that he cares about the look of the crosses.
In general, Otto and Geoff, and even Jawn go along with what seem to be crazy concepts for music videos, set design, the lore that weaves in, out, between these albums. Sometimes it’s difficult to make sense of these thoughts and feelings, even harder to figure out how to bring them to life. They work with him, help him out, even if it means he’s getting ready to appear as Starfucker on stage. He couldn’t be any more thankful for them.
He can’t help but smile at the thought of how lucky he is. Otto pauses, Awsten opens his eyes. Brown ones stare back at him with amusement but curiosity.
“What’re you smiling about?”
“Nothing much,” he decides not to get sappy, not right before a show. “Just how scared you are with applying the paint. Did you even get any on my face?”
He turns on his phone’s front camera. Not bad, but Otto definitely needs to add a little more pressure to his hand.
Otto scoffs at this, holding up the applicator like he could stab someone with it. He’s not helping deny the serial killer allegations. “I’ll put this paint where it isn’t supposed to go right now.”
Awsten’s 99.9% sure it wasn’t meant to be suggestive, but the 0.01% possibility flusters him.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t ask for something like that when we’re set to go on in a bit,” Otto’s eyes narrow playfully, oh god why did Awsten ask for this. “That would be too much to clean up after.”
What the fuck.
“Whatever, just keep going.” Awsten mutters in defeat. If Otto kept this banter going on any longer, he’d start something he’ll regret. As fun as it was to egg Otto on, the other can do it right back.
Otto grins, knowing he clearly won whatever the fuck that was. “Fine, fine. Here, turn your face.”
Awsten’s not sure on how he was supposed to turn his head. He tries, then feels fingers knocking his jaw to face the other way. If it weren’t for the fact that Otto’s fingers touched his jaw, he would’ve made a quip on not specifying which way he was supposed to go. He’s not sure he has a voice.
“There we go,” Otto murmured to himself, getting back to work.
-
Otto finds his groove eventually, and they sit there in a comfortable enough silence while he works on Awsten’s crosses. Awsten’s more than thankful, he can calm down from the borderline flirting that happened and start mentally preparing for the show.
At some point, their legs have overlapped one another’s. Otto definitely had to scoot closer to make sure he didn’t “leave any extra blank spots.” In turn, Awsten is sitting very, very still. Which isn’t really in his nature. It sucks.
“Dude, are you not breathing?”
“Just don’t wanna mess you up,” he whispers. They’re so close, there’s no point in speaking any louder. Any loud music from Loveless’s set, or noise beyond the backstage is muffled by the door being closed.
“I think we can afford a couple of paint strokes being out of place instead of our frontman falling out,” Otto quips back, just as softly. His hand is still lightly on Awsten’s jaw as he works. Just the feeling of his fingertips burned, but in a good way. Geoff’s hands burn but in a bad uncomfortable way. Otto’s grip is firm, but still loose that Awsten could easily move his face away from it. Not that he wanted to.
He’s always going out of his way for Otto’s touch. Whether it’s running his fingers through his long luscious locks, wrestling him out of his bunk, holding his hand wherever they walked, sitting right up on him in tight spaces. It felt good to feel him near, it felt even better when Otto reciprocated the touch. Yeah, those moments happened on rather platonic terms. This though, felt different.
The air felt different once Otto entered the room tonight. Awsten’s been trying to deny himself of feeling the unspoken tension the whole time, for he and Otto’s sake, especially if Otto doesn’t mean it. For the show’s sake, for everyone’s sake.
That’s why he’s been scared to make a move. He’s supposed to be his best friend, his bandmate. Awsten’s already gone a year with no Otto, and it was tough. The last thing he wants to do is lose him again, lose the world he and his friends built together over some stupid feelings he can’t get over.
“Awsten?”
He darts his eyes to Otto, who’s looking at him concerningly. “You good?” Bless his heart, he’s trying to make sure Awsten isn’t falling into a bad headspace before it’s time.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. How far are we?” He manages to answer normally.
“I’m done.”
Oh.
“Let’s see your work.” Awsten forces a grin on his face and pulls his front camera up to his face again. “Nice!”
It’s honestly not bad at all. For his first time doing it, he’s got the shapes down. Everything looks pretty filled in too.
“Are you secretly an MUA or something?” He compliments, genuinely impressed.
“A Muah?” Oh how Awsten wishes he would.
“MUA, a make-up artist. You did these pretty good.”
Otto smiles at the praise. “I learned from the best.”
“You should probably teach Geoff, Rory’s definitely gonna want him to do her makeup one day,” Awsten jokes.
“Noted.”
Again, they sit in silence for a few seconds, Awsten avoiding Otto’s eyes by being vain in his phone screen. He can’t move his hair back in place until after the paint completely dries, but he still frets with it.
“Uh, I’ll get out of here so you can finish getting ready,” Otto says awkwardly, getting up from the couch. Awsten can't feel Otto’s bare skin from wearing his overalls, but he does feel the cold immediately taking his place.
Awsten wants to protest, but it’s probably for the best. What else could he keep him here for? He did what was asked of him, and everyone knows he likes to be alone.
“Yeah,” he musters up a smile. “Thanks, man.”
Otto smiles back, nods once. “See you in a bit.”
The shorter of the two walks out.
The second he shuts the door, Awsten finds himself finally releasing the breath he’s been holding the entire time, yet he’s not as relieved as he thought he would be. He feels unsatisfied, if anything. If Otto didn’t just do this hard work, he would’ve run his hands down his face right about now.
Whatever, he’ll once again push these feelings down to get through the night, and the rest of the tour. Maybe the next time they have a hotel night he’ll physically get his feelings out in the form of a hot hotel shower. For now, he’ll sink himself into this loveseat and calm himself down.
It’s only about three minutes later, the door to the room pushes open again. He jolts up as the unexpected entrance. His heart jolts at seeing Otto again. This time, he doesn’t stay by the door, he closes it immediately and just about teleports himself to stand in front of Awsten where he sits. There’s an emotion in his brown eyes Awsten can’t decipher, the one that constantly switches off once he notices it.
“Did you forget something?” He clears his throat to ask. He doesn’t think Otto did, his beanie is still on his head, jacket still on, both will come off before they get on stage. But there’s no other reason he could be in here, not one that makes sense anyway.
“Why did you want me to do your makeup?”
Awsten wishes Otto forgot something.
He blinks up at the drummer, trying to stay strong as Otto’s intense look at him. “I told you, I didn’t feel like it.”
“And that’s it?” Otto pushes.
Awsten stares at him for a few seconds as he tries to think of a good answer to give him. He’s still not sure what that look in his eye means, and his questions are straight to the point. It almost feels like Awsten’s about to be in trouble if anything. But he’s not sure if that is a good or bad thing.
“Uh, yeah…” He gulps. What else could he say without accidentally giving away his feelings for him?
Otto’s not buying it. His eyes are narrowed as he lightly yet firmly shoves Awsten’s legs to the side for him to sit. He at least no longer feels overpowered from where Otto previously stood over him, but now their legs are touching. He’s closer to him.
“Awsten.” Otto almost sounds like he’s out of breath as he says his name. He notices the other man’s chest go up and down a little harder than normal. His cheeks are flushed, his hands clamped on the sides of the couch. His eyes have a daze to them he couldn’t see from far away. He can see it now, There’s no denying it.
He’s just as affected as Awsten.
“Yeah?” He instinctively licks his lip before biting down on the bottom. He watches Otto laser focus on his mouth as he does it. It takes a few seconds for him to just about force his gaze back up at Awsten. They stare, he watches Otto make a mental decision of his next move.
“Push me away if I read this wrong.”
Awsten doesn’t have time to ask what he means by that. Otto shifts himself to sit between Awsten’s feet on the couch and the ground. Hands grip the sides of Awsten’s face, narrowly missing the still fresh face paint. Their faces are inches apart, Awsten’s not sure why that is.
“Am I reading this wrong?” Otto says once more. Oh, right. Bless him for being sweet, but Awsten’s about to explode.
“If you don’t kiss me-“
Otto wastes no time bringing their lips together. Fucking finally. His lips are the slightest bit chapped, but how could he focus on that when they’re pressed to his like the world’s ending? They’re still soft as hell, they’re Otto’s lips for crying out loud.
Awsten’s still impatient, even if he’s finally having Otto how he’s wanted him for so long. He reaches out, feels his hands land on Otto’s bare thighs, slides them up to grip his hips. They slip under his shirt, he squeezes. Otto’s lips slightly open to gasp, Awsten sees it as a chance to test the waters and slip his tongue scores those lips. It feels so rewarding to feel Otto accept his request, going so step farther to tilting his head to deepen the kiss.
God it feels good. He feels the serotonin, the dopamine, all of it relax his body as they kiss. Turns out he was very fucking tense while Otto did his makeup. His brain is beginning to quiet down…for the most part. One last thought manages to slip in as Otto moves his hands to his shoulders, pushing him to lay back down on the couch. Otto's knees bracket Awsten’s leg that’s still on the couch for balance as he hovers over him. That when he realizes-
They’re in the position of the girls in the photo, sans makeup. He finally got what he originally wanted. As flustered and turned on as he is, he can’t help but bark out a laugh at the thought.
Otto pulls away, maybe the slightest bit annoyed at the interruption, but he’s still amused. “What’s so funny?”
That right, Otto doesn’t even know what spurred this whole moment they’re having in the first place. He laughs even harder. The other sits back and watches Awsten get his laughs out, knowing he’ll probably tell him eventually.
Once he calms down enough, he pulls his phone back out, thankful he saved the photo to his gallery before exiting twitter at some point. He flips the screen over to Otto, giving him a few seconds to look. Otto only looks more confused.
“I don’t get it,” comes the obvious response.
“This,” Awsten pauses to gesture to his phone, “is the reason I wanted you to do my makeup.”
Otto’s face shows he’s just about done with the singer (not really).
“Really, Awsten?” He shakes his head with a small smile. “Y’coukdn’t just ask to, I dunno, recreate the photo?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
He rolls his eyes, but he’s not mad, clearly used to Awsten’s antics. “You’re lucky I like you a lot.”
Oh. His heart might’ve just stopped.
His shock at the statement must be obvious, Otto pokes his cheek. “C’mon, after me doing your makeup and literally making out with you, you can’t be that surprised.”
“Okay, I didn’t think you’d just say it like that!” He really didn’t. It makes him feel better that it’s not just a sex thing for Otto, but boy was he not prepared to hear that.
Otto raises a brow. “And when’s a better time to say it? Or should I have said we need to redo your makeup, it smeared.”
He should’ve noticed the green stripes on Otto’s face the second he pulled away, but he was too in bliss. Oops.
There’s luckily enough time to fix his work, with a few more careful kisses in between, before they get on stage that night.