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Edwin really was fine. He was sad about Niko's passing but very happy to have the weight of the crush on Charles lifted, even if he didn't realize it was there before. And it's not as if he had a physical body that could be harmed. At least that's what Edwin had been telling himself.
In reality, Edwin wasn't entirely sure that there had been no "physical" effects to Esther's machine, but he only had correlation, not causation.
Edwin found himself shaking quite often. He struggled to read the books he so enjoyed because he couldn't hold them still enough to be able to read the words. His penmanship had declined significantly as well, leading to messy notes.
They had only been back in England for a few days, mostly spent celebrating they were back home with new friends, so Charles had been distracted enough that he hadn't noticed. Which is not to say there were no close calls.
"Edwin? Are you alright mate?"
He quickly shut his notebook to hide the failed attempts to scribe the end of the case with Esther.
"I am quite fine thank you."
"Okay. Me and Crystal were going to go look for a nice storefront for Jenny. Do you want to come with?"
Charles paused. It might be nice to just go and hang out with his friends. Jenny certainly deserved a bit of help as a thank you, and Edwin also wasn't sure if he trusted them to pick out a good place for a butcher shop. But he was exhausted. Travelling the long was always so stuffy, and while he liked Crystal, he didn’t think it was worth it to take the ferry when she could just meet him there.
"No, I think I'll finish writing up the case. Have fun, and make sure to choose a nice spot in the market district with a lot of windows."
"Sure, mate. Good luck with that." Charles smiled at Edwin as he left before closing the door behind him.
Edwin sighed in relief, bringing his hands up from where he had hidden them underneath the desk to look at the absolute mess that was his notes. He could barely read them, and he was the one who wrote them. It would take ages to log cases this way. Edwin had to find a workaround.
But he also didn't want to worry Charles about the shaking either. Edwin had not found anything about what the cause could be and he could not come to him with a problem and no idea how to fix it. Better to wait until Edwin had found the problem so he could then go to Charles and Crystal if he needed help with the solution, that was how their team worked.
Edwin put his notes and pen back into his pocket before heading over to the shelf. What could even cause a ghost to constantly shake? He sighed and picked up "Assorted Ailments of Spirits", figuring it was as good a place to start as any.
It took much longer to read since Edwin had found the most effective way was to lay the book on his desk and hold it down with some paperweights. Then he wouldn't be shaking the book like a bottle of ink that had been on the shelf too long. But each time he had to turn a page he had to take all the weights off, slowly push the page over, then reapply the paper weights. It was an arduous process.
_____
It hadn't gotten better and he hadn't found anything. There was nothing in "Assorted Ailments of Spirits" or “Ghostly Disease” or even “The Pains of Death”. In fact, it had gotten worse. The shaking was happening for longer each time. And even more concerningly it would occasionally be preceded by a splitting pain, that seemed to try to pull his soul apart until he would disappear into purple smoke. All in all, it did not look good. But Edwin needed to be able to do this.
Everyone else had been able to play their part of the agency perfectly but Edwin. He just kept getting caught and stuck and tortured and sent to hell. He was no help to the agency like this.
And they were catching onto him. They didn’t know exactly what was wrong, but Edwin could only avoid their questions and invitations for so long before they got worried. Edwin was sitting in the office, reading with his new method, when Crystal walked in.
She looked almost surprised to see him there, as if this wasn’t his office.
“Edwin! I’ve missed you. What’s new?” She very kindly asked though Edwin could guess that she was probing to bring whatever was wrong to the surface.
“Not much. Trying to read up before the next case.”
She walked behind him to take a look at the book. “Any particular reason you’re researching ghost diseases?”
“It's nearing winter and I fear more spirits may be getting ill as the weather gets colder.” It was an awful lie, one even Crystal could see through. But she didn’t press further, so he supposed that it did its job.
But while Crystal didn’t press, that didn’t stop her and Charles from spending more time with him. They stopped walking the streets and started playing CLUE back at the office, always asking Edwin to join, but remaining in the same room and talking to him when he refused.
Edwin supposed it was only a matter of time.
Crystal and Charles were sitting on the office couch, watching the “Knives Out” movie while Edwin sat reading at his desk, hoping that Charles wouldn’t ask why he was reading at his desk instead of his favorite chair. Charles heard their muffled laughter and brought his face even closer to the book.
He wanted so desperately to join them but first, he needed to fix this. He glared down at the page as the words started to swim in front of him. Edwin started to panic, as his vision went blurry. He pushed himself up from the desk, trying to make his way out of the room nonchalantly enough that Charles wouldn’t notice. But of course, he would.
“Edwin, are you alright? You look ill,” Charles and Crystal hurried over to Edwin, worry very evident in their eyes.
Edwin tried to talk, to move, to reassure his friends, but he found himself frozen, jaw locked into place as he felt his soul once again be torn into pieces. Edwin started whimpering, waterless tears falling from his eyes down onto the book beneath him. Charles grabbed him and carried Edwin to the couch, laying him down.
Charles started crying too, as he held Edwin’s hand as tightly as he could. Edwin's crying was the worst sound Charles had ever heard, and he had hoped he would never hear it again. But here he was, and this time he had no idea what else he could do to help his best mate.
“Charles. I’m going to try and use my powers. Will you be alright?” Crystal said, trying to make eye contact with the boy staring down at his friend.
“Do it. Be careful.”
Crystal grabbed Edwin’s other hand and pushed into his mind.
Crystal started screaming as she felt as if she were being chopped in half from head to toe. But she pushed deeper, even as she howled. She saw her dear friend trying so hard to fix something he couldn’t because of his own insecurities. But unfortunately, Edwin didn’t have the answer so Crystal was unable to find it.
By the time Crystal had come to, Edwin had stopped crying. He hadn’t said anything yet, just leaned into Charles. Crystal took a moment to look at her new family before going looking for some blankets.
And so the three detectives laid out together on the floor all night, quietly wondering what happens next.
When the sun started coming through the window, Edwin found himself leaning down from his spot on the couch to Charles. Charles turned, feeling Edwin move to make eye contact with him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered through tears, not of pain but of the difficulty of facing emotion head-on. “I’m sorry I don’t know what it is or how to fix it and that it should be one that I can look up because it's not something you can beat up or psychically fix. But I don’t know how to make this better and I’m sorry.”
“Edwin. It is not your job to fix every single problem without fail. I’ve needed your help before and you have helped me. We cover for each other. But you just please have to let us know that something is wrong so we can help you,” Charles started crying, trying to see his friend's eyes through the tears. “I love you. I have no idea what I would do if I lost you. When I saw you hurting I was so scared, not only because I didn’t know how to fix it but because I didn’t know what was happening at all. Please let us help. Let me help.”
Edwin nodded, crawling off the couch to lie down beside Charles and Crystal. Charles quickly grabbed him, and they stayed that way for a while.
Not knowing what was wrong, but knowing that they would face it together because they were not alone.