Work Text:
Shang Qinghua’s eyebags were almost bigger than his actual eyes.
It was to be expected, honestly. Trying to work not one, but two incredibly difficult and time consuming jobs, where one would see him killed if he ever accidentally outed himself as a spy, and the other would get him killed because some demon was having a bad day… that had to be taxing.
Shen Qingqiu would almost pity his fellow transmigrator, if the man hadn’t decided to complain about it to him, of all people.
Even if those complaints were kinda funny.
“...so there I was trying to save time by eating my noodles while working on paperwork but I was so tired that I accidentally confused my hands and stuck a calligraphy brush in my mouth! Right in front of my King, no less!” Shang Qinghua hid his stupidly chubby cheeks in his palms. “And then I almost called Mobei-Jun a ‘My-Bae-Jun’ to his face!! If it continues like this, I’m actually going to say the wrong thing and get killed for real. Bro! Bro, what should I do?? I’m so scared! I’m so tired!”
Shen Qingqiu tried his best not to add insult to injury and laugh in this ridiculous hamster’s face.
But honestly, he should probably try and help Airplane-bro. At least a bit. It wouldn’t do to have the only other transmigrator (that he knew of) collapse due to overwork. Hmm, how to go about it, though? Shang Qinghua was so tense - anxious, tired and just plain stressed - that even if Shen Qingqiu tried any of the techniques he’d learned in this xianxia world, they probably wouldn’t even work.
Airplane needed to release his tension, but was just too scared on top of his exhaustion. His emotions were too complex and tangled. It would be easier to get him to have a minor ‘breakdown’ in a safe place than trying to soothe him.
…Shock therapy?
Shen Qingqiu suddenly had an idea and hid an evil, evil smirk.
Welp. Time to commit atrocities against his classical education.
Shen Qingqiu spoke as blandly as he could, “Let me sing you the song of my people”
Shang Qinghua startled and blinked at Cucumber-bro. Then he snorted and set down his teacup. He was ready to try anything, that’s why he came here to his fellow ‘Peak Lord’. And Shen Qingqiu might not be aware of it, but he was actually pretty good at resolving fellow cultivators’ issues, and also at spiritual music.
He nodded and watched as his greatest (anti)fan set up multiple instruments that he could remotely control with his qi, and set up a beautiful lacquered guqin.
Hey, that intro somehow sounded almost like a synthesizer!
Shang Qinghua struggled not to cry at the sudden wave of homesickness. His Bro really was the best!
…And then he started singing. In English!
“ ~Work hard through the week
Making money and losing sleep
Friday night means it’s time to bend
Getting fucked up with my friends~! ”
Shang Qinghua’s face slowly stretched into a wide shit-eating grin.
“ ~Everybody's got that voice in their head:
‘It’s party time, you can sleep when you’re dead!’
But sometimes I hear another voice (another voice)
…This one scares me~”
Shen Qingqiu’s face twisted into an evil grin. He picked up his Guqin as if it was an electric guitar, pushed in his qi to (almost) make it sound like one and put his whole ass into the ‘lullaby’.
“~Shut your mouth, lay down and don’t move for about eight hours!!~”
Airplane-bro howled with laughter. Shen Qingqiu managed to shred on a guqin while struggling not to join in.
“~Zip your fuckhole and close your eyes!
Motherfucker gonna get some sleep tonight~”
The poor hamster was clutching his stomach now.
“~You’ll have a pleasant Saturday, if you do exactly as I say!
Shut your mouth, lay down and don’t move for about eight hours!!~”
Shen Qingqiu was glad for the privacy wards around his Bamboo House, so that no one could accidentally see him blaspheme and use the ceremonial gu drums. But it was worth it. His Bro was now howling and crying from laughter, still clutching his stomach as Shen Qingqiu yelled to the beat,
“~Go to sleep, Bitch!~”
“~Shut your mouth, lay down and don’t move for about eight hours!!~”
By the time he finished with the last ominous musical ‘punches’ (carefully not reinforced with qi, he didn’t want to accidentally send an actual spiritual attack), Shang Qinghua was on the floor, curled upon himself, laughing almost hysterically with tears streaming down his stupid hamster face.
Shen Qingqiu gracefully set down his (abused) guqin and let the man have a moment.
When Shang Qinghua finally stopped laughing, he breathed out a sigh of relief and it was as if years of tension bled out of him in an instant. It was the most relaxed that Shen Qingqiu has ever seen the perpetually-anxious man.
Careful not to disturb the mood, he gently helped him up then led him to his own bed. The most comfortable bed this weird xianxia world could provide, covered in pillows and blankets. He set the exhausted man down.
Shang Qinghua lifted one tired eyebrow at him.
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes at Airplane-bro and gently commanded, “Go to sleep.”
Then their eyes met. Their lips twitched. And they said as one,
“ “ Bitch! “ “
Shang Qinghua chuckled. Then his eyes closed and with one last content sigh of relief, he immediately fell asleep.
Shen Qingqiu shook his head with a smile. He’d let the man sleep, he really looked like he needed it. …No promises on not mocking him for it later, though. ‘My Bae Jun’, his ass.
He sat down at his table to quietly do some calligraphy while his Bro had his moment of safe rest.
He picked up his brush, and fought down the sudden intrusive image of the Hamster Bro sticking it down his throat while making direct eye contact with Mobei-Jun.
He suppressed a snort.
Aah, Airplane-bro will figure it out, one day. Maybe. In the meantime, his weird courtship with the demon lord would serve as Shen Qingqiu’s own source of amusement, to take his mind off of… things.
For now, he would just let his friend sleep.
The End