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The keys jangled too loudly for Merlin’s liking as they made their way through the air and into his open palm. The jagged metal dug into his fingers as he gripped them tighter than necessary for fear of them dropping to the floor and making a clamour that was sure to wake the guard on duty.
His arms stuck through the bars at awkward angles and, with his forehead pressed against them, he used one hand to feel for the keyhole. Peering down his nose, with the tip of his tongue poking out between his teeth, he watched the clumsy movements of his hands as he attempted to guide the key in, doing his best from the wrong side of the lock.
A snuffle from nearby had his limbs freezing and his breath catching in his throat. It took a second for his gaze to unstick and slowly wander upwards to glance towards the sleeping guard. Still sleeping guard— thank goodness. The man shifted in his seat — in his sleep — then let out a hearty snore as he declared himself still dead to the world.
A shaky breath passed Merlin’s lips slowly as he allowed his lungs to move once more.
He often considered speaking to Arthur about the inadequacy of the dungeon’s guards, if only their incompetence didn't come in handy more times that he cared to admit. Honestly, since coming to Camelot, he never pictured he would be spending so much time inside of a cell.
Metal clinked against metal as the key slotted in position and after a quick rattle in the lock…nothing happened. Dammit. He tried to next key, and the next, heart rate continuously rising with every failed attempt. The guard had yet to make any further movements, but it wouldn’t be long until even Merlin’s careful jangling broke through his slumber and woke him up.
He spread the keys out against his palm and ran his eyes over each of them, grunting in annoyance at how identical they all looked. He spared another quick glimpse at the guard before grabbing the next key and haphazardly shoving it in the lock. The key turned, something clicked and, with a sigh of relief, the bolt shifted allowing the door to swing open. With no time to waste, he left the cell behind and crept straight past the snoozing man, straight up the stairs, straight out of the castle and straight into—
Gaius of all people. Swaying in an inebriated state alongside three guards as they warmed their hands by the fire.
He was already sprinting away by the time the shouts chased him through the stillness of the night.
Gwen kept her head low as she weaved carefully through the surprisingly crowded corridor. The castle was abuzz that morning with gossip and speculation on the mystery afflictions affecting the members of the royal court, and the place was busier than ever. Though no speculation was needed on her part, she knew exactly where her unfortunate bout of flatulence had stemmed from.
Or should she say, who.
When Merlin had escaped the dungeons, broken into her house, and declared the fact that Gaius had been possessed by a goblin, well— she’d had to take a moment to remind herself that her friend was not often wrong about these things. No matter how mad his accusation was making him seem. He’d stated the same argument in front of the King without much luck, after all.
But Gwen was not Uther, she listened to her friends when they spouted near-nonsense regarding someone they all trusted and cared for. And now, it seemed, it was up to them to do something about it.
She reached Arthur’s chambers without a single goblin sighting and felt her shoulders relax the moment the door was closed behind her. As the only one in any state to fetch what they needed, she had ventured out without complaint. But that in no way meant she enjoyed the risk that came with sneaking into the physician’s chambers to steal one of Gaius’ books, possibly right under the goblin’s nose.
She turned to face the empty room with a satisfied nod, pleased to see that they had listened to her and stayed put. It would be one thing having to explain why an escaped prisoner was hiding out in the royal chambers, but the prince-come-donkey? That was something else entirely.
Though, they could stay out of sight all they wanted but the familiar bickering quietly filling the room was still going to be a complete giveaway. Rolling her eyes, she crossed the room to where her friends were hunkering down next to the elegant four-poster bed, wincing at the wet retching sound that suddenly filled the room.
She rounded the corner just in time to watch Merlin spit a giant glob of grey goo into the bucket clutched tightly to his chest.
“Hee-haw!”
“Ew.” He stuck out his tongue trying to avoid the disgusting taste clinging to it. “Well, if you’d just believed me in the first place, I could have dealt with it sooner!”
She smiled to herself, amused. Who knew whether Merlin could somehow translate the donkey-speak or had just become so fluent in Arthur’s complaints he could anticipate them even in another language. Either way, at least they were keeping each other entertained.
Merlin wiped a shaky hand across his mouth and then down the front of his jacket, no longer having the energy to care about the slime residue left against the material. “Oh, Gwen.”
She tilted her head with a pitying sigh, handing over the cloth she’d had the foresight to grab along with the book. He took it gratefully, wiping it over his hands and across his mouth before letting his grip return to the rim of the bucket.
“You found the book?”
“Indeed.” She carefully stepped over Merlin’s outstretched legs to take the empty spot in between the boys, watching as Arthur’s donkey ears – donkey ears of all things! – perked up at the sight of the thickly bound tome. Leaning her back against the bed, she crossed her legs underneath her in an attempt to maintain some dignity whilst perched on the floor and opened the book to the first page. “I hope you know what you’re looking for Merlin, because there’s a lot in here.”
Arthur huffed from where he was pressed into the corner, grimacing in disgust as he watched Merlin’s grip tighten on the bucket. His knuckles were turning white from the pressure and his eyes were squeezed closed, lips parted slightly as he let out quick panting breathes. His throat bobbed audibly, and Gwen knew exactly what was coming.
She rubbed her palm against his back in soothing circles, waiting for the inevitable to arrive. And to think, if Gaius hadn’t spotted him during his escape last night, he could have been the only one of them to get out of this unscathed. But alas…
Merlin’s throat bobbed as he heaved painfully, a string of thick, colourless bile dangling from his lip. He coughed and groaned as he felt the viscous globule rise up his throat. Tiny antennae popped out first, wiggling as they escaped his mouth, followed quickly by the slime covered head and giant slug body, sliding down his tongue to plop into the awaiting bucket.
“Ugh. Why did I have to get the horrible one.” He groaned, head flopping back against the mattress as one arm came up to shield his eyes. “This is disgusting.”
“Hee-haw. Hee-haw!” Arthur leaned forward as he brayed, brow furrowing deeper with every failed attempt at communication.
“Oh, do you want to swap? Because I would much rather look like that than have to deal with—” He paused his tirade with an exaggerated groan, swallowing reflexively until another slimy creature made its way out of his mouth and into the bucket with a squelch. “…with this.”
“How many have you—?” Gwen nodded her head towards the bucket and he titled it towards her in reply. Instantly she wished he hadn’t. It only took a glance to have her recoiling with a squeal, her own stomach turning at the sight. There was a small mound of slugs sliding over each other inside the pail, and honestly, she would take the embarrassing passing of wind any day.
“I think I’m going to need a new bucket soon.” He muttered, wiping his mouth once again. He bravely set the bucket to one side to allow Gwen to pass over the book and he promptly flicked through the pages with practiced ease.
Arthur shuffled closer to peer over Gwen’s shoulder.
The pages were filled with intricate script and elaborate drawings, three sets of eyes roaming over each one in the hopes of finding a solution. Gwen had already taken a quick peek when she’d grabbed it from Gaius’ chambers, but she’d been so preoccupied by the fear of getting caught, she hadn’t exactly taken the time to look over each page closely.
There were all sort of magical secrets locked away in its pages, it was a wonder – and a relief – that Camelot had not had to face more of the deadly creatures. (Let alone a surprise that Gaius had been allowed to keep such a book in the first place). A soft, unexpected braying in her ear made her jump and a glance at Arthur had him leaning away from her, shoulders hunching and lip curling in an unfamiliarly sheepish manner.
“Haw.” The quiet sound was all he allowed as an apology.
Her reassuring smile came across more patronising than intended, judging by Arthur’s indignant huff, but given the circumstances, it was hard not to feel more and more sorry for the prince with every twitch of his ears.
“Take this!” Merlin blurted out and once again swapped the book for the bucket.
How fun it was to be in between these two.
One hand grabbed at the book to pull it properly into her lap while her other resumed the comforting circular motion as more slimy little creatures worked their way out of him.
“Read—” He tried and failed to get out before slug number whatever made an appearance. Gwen felt guilty looking away, but she didn’t think she could stomach watching it anymore. Arthur had no such issue, watching on with a repulsed scowl and a morbid fascination.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“Read it.” He tapped in the general vicinity of the words, oblivious to the silvery trail of goo his finger was leaving on the page.
Avoiding the goop with a grimace, she scanned the words quickly, head tilting when the letters curled in a confusing way around the eerie picture in the centre of the page of what she could only assume was a goblin in its true form. There was a lot of information about its love of gold and mischievous nature and its ability to possess ordinary people. Nothing that Gwen hadn’t already learnt by now.
“Merlin, I don’t get what it’s saying.”
Merlin put the cloth to use again once the latest wave of sickness was through with him. Taking a few deep breaths, he waited for his stomach to settle. He really was sick of this feeling now.
“If the host body dies, the goblin dies with it.” He paused, pulling his lip between his teeth before thinking better of the taste. “So…if Gaius is dying, the goblin will be forced to leave him.”
“You want to kill Gaius?”
“Hee-haw.”
“Just briefly.” He winced. He clearly wasn’t exactly a fan of the suggestion either, if anything went wrong— well, the outcome was unthinkable. “I know a poison that should work. It’ll get the goblin out quick and then all we’ll need to do is give Gaius the antidote in time.”
“…Is that safe?”
“Probably not, but…” Merlin trailed off with a shrug.
The silence that filled the room felt heavy. They would only have one shot at this and they had to get it right – for Camelot’s sake, not just Gaius’. Gwen listened closely as Merlin detailed which vials they would need to use and where a very particular type of box was hidden in his room. He laid out the plan very clearly, only hesitating on one small detail. Where they were going to put it all into action.
“After I fetch what we need, I’ll lure Gaius in here.” Gwen declared, considering it was the only logical answer, no matter how little she wished to be sneaking around under a goblin’s nose again.
“Hee-haw!” Arthur exclaimed, head shaking profusely.
“Arthur, it’s not like either of us can go.” Merlin stated which only riled up the prince more.
“Hee-haw. Hee-haw!”
“Have you got a better idea?”
“Hee-haw!”
The bucket hit the floor with a thud (and a slosh) as Merlin moved it aside to face Arthur in an exasperated motion.
“Okay, I’m sorry he turned you in a donkey—”
“Hee-haw!”
“—but clearly you weren’t as clever as you thought—”
“Hee-haw!”
“—or he wouldn’t have found you out so easily—”
“Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!”
“Boys!” Gwen whispered harshly, effectively silencing them both with a swift raise of her hand. “Do I need to remind you that you’re supposed to be hiding. Any more of that and someone will come knocking to see what’s going on.”
They both turned away with matching frowns like two naughty children after a scolding and she would have laughed if she wasn’t worried it would set them off again. Did she really trust them to stay quiet whilst she was gone? No. But could either of them go in her place? …Also no.
She closed the book carefully, but the thick wedge of pages still came together with a quiet thump. Pushing herself to her feet, she kept the book cradled carefully under one arm whilst the other flattened down her skirt.
Returning the way she came, she stepped over Merlin’s legs and headed for the door, placing the bucket back on Merlin’s lap with a sympathetic smile on her way past – being very careful to not take a peek inside.
“I won’t be long.”
As she left the room and pulled the door very firmly shut behind her, she couldn’t help but shake her head at the mutterings she was leaving behind.
“Hee-haw.”
“I will throw a slug at you in a minute.”
“Hee-haw!”