Chapter Text
Loki worked hard—he worked damned hard. It took thick skin, sharp wit, and killer instinct to be a lawyer for Asgard International. Not just any snot-nosed lawyer, by the way: The lawyer for Asgard International. Granted, he had an in. A big in. Daddy did own the multibillion, international conglomerate, but he was worth his fucking salt, no question. He slaved long hours at the office, scrutinized document after document, and staved off at least seven lawsuits this quarter alone. So, when it came time to vacation, Loki expected something relaxing: wine, great dining, no cell phone reception, no kids, maybe some sandy beaches, and, of course, his bombshell wife who still got his blood boiling.
He did not expect fucking Disneyland.
He was caught off guard. Completely blindsided by the suggestion. There he was lounging in his California king bed with his tablet while flipping through websites about Aruba when Sif breaks his sex-on-the-beach fantasy with:“I think we should go to Disneyland this year.”
Of course Loki played along with the joke he thought it was, but when Sif caught wind of his sarcasm, she deadpanned.
“Why on earth would we go to Disneyland?” he asked.
“I've always wanted to take them. Hela's old enough now to appreciate and remember the trip. Ullr would be ecstatic. I think it would be nice. Your mother agrees.”
His jaw tightened. “You spoke to my mother about this?”
She nodded as she straightened up their room. “She was thinking about bringing the whole family. Thor, Jane, the kids. Maybe even my parents.”
Loki froze and wondered if he was having a dream. A bad dream.
“Sif,” he said and powered off his tablet. He sat forward in the posture Sif referred to as his “intense britches.” “I only get one vacation a year, and I prefer to spend it relaxing, drinking, having sex, and being treated like a prince.”
“You prefer that even when you’re not on vacation.”
He had to concede she had a point. However since becoming a father, his selfish indulgences had significantly, annoyingly, and unacceptably decreased. He put off buying expensive clothes and things to buy toys for his kids. No longer could he and Sif enjoy five star restaurants without searching half of New York for a babysitter that didn’t leave them frightened for their children’s lives. In fact,the restaurants they frequented most these days featured plastic menus with pictures of the food and a kid’s menu featuring—much to Loki’s disgust—hot dogs and mac ‘n cheese. His life had become nothing but Sesame Street, juice boxes, sticky everything, and play dates.
It was certainly not the posh lifestyle he envisioned for himself, but that’s what happens when antibiotics are taken with birth control.
Sif went through her nightly routine of laying out her clothes for the following day. Becoming parents meant one had to prepare like Sun Tzu if one wanted to get the kids ready for school in the morning with any semblance of efficiency.
“Loki,” she said in a clipped voice. Anything that followed that was usually geared to rip Loki off his throne and make him feel like a real ass. “I know you want to relax, but spending time with your family is important too. Your kids don’t even know who you are. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“That’s preposterous.” He sat back against the padded headboard and powered his tablet on once more to a picture of a swim-up bar in a crystal clear pool by the ocean.
“You’re never home,” she continued, “You’re always at work. You’re gone before they’re awake and come home after they’re put to bed. On weekends your phone is glued to your ear at Ullr’s soccer games. And that’s if you show up.”
His eyes flashed from his screen to her, his jaw set tightly. Heat began to swirl in his chest. “I’m trying to provide for this family. Don’t guilt me for putting my family first.”
“But you’re not! You’re putting work first.” She placed her hands on her hips, a stance which reminded him too much of her mother. It was her attempt at seeming authoritative but it missed its mark. She was more terrifying before she became a mother and adopted all of the typical mom-isms and behaviors. Still, the way her eyebrow hitched high on her forehead and the blaze in her eyes kept him from arguing.
After an intense beat of silence, her arms fell back to her sides. “Loki,” she crooned as she sat beside him and took his tablet away, placing it face down on the bed. “You’re a wonderful provider. No one can dispute that. The kids have everything they need and then some. But there are far more important things than fancy clothes, toys, and a high rise apartment. And that’s being their father.”
He must have been silent for a while for Sif cupped his face and stroked his cheekbone with her thumb. It did little to comfort him. He liked being a father when he thought about how much he loved his kids, but the whole dad lifestyle….It was something he never got used to.
“We’ll talk about it more tomorrow,” she said.
He nodded and lay down on his marshmallow-like bed. Sif finished the last of her routine, then crawled in beside him. She kissed him and slid her foot along the sheets until it came in contact with his. After a few adjustments, she fell straight to sleep.
Loki stared at the ceiling for hours, troubled, until he finally fell asleep to the hypnotic rhythm of Sif’s breathing.
***
Loki sat at his black marble desk in his office suite on the sixtieth floor of Asgard Tower, staring out his window at the sea of skyscrapers and office buildings all full of working stiffs. He wondered if any of them felt the same way he did: determined to meet the surmounting pressure laid upon him by work, yet terrified that he was drifting from his family.
He remembered meeting Odin for the first time. Sure, Loki was aware of Odin and saw him in the house occasionally, but he didn’t truly come to know him until after the heart attack that laid his father up for weeks. He was unsure of the familiar stranger who was now a constant presence in their house and a monopolizer of his mother’s time and attention. He was six, same age as Hela, and he remember wanting Odin to go away. He was an upset in his routine, a boulder in the river, and Loki wanted nothing to do with him.
Of course his mother made him and Thor sit with their father: Odin a statuesque man in the center of godlike bed with a son placed on either side of him, his beefy arms around their shoulders. They watched cartoons. Odin was apparently quite the Bugs Bunny fan, which Thor was pleased with, but Loki wanted to watch Scooby Doo. Still, he sat there feeling like a hostage beside his seemingly kind father while he and his brother giggled at Bugs attempted to perform Flight of the Valkyrie.
He swiveled back to his desk. The large desktop calendar was scrawled and splattered with numerous appointments, lists, and rushed notes to self. There wasn’t a single day that didn’t have a task slated. Most of them had at least three. Not a single Saturday marked a soccer game or dance recital.
His eyes traveled to a small picture frame barely visible from behind his computer monitor. Grabbing it, he leaned back in his cushioned chair, leather squelching as he did so, and inspected it. A young family amid wrapping paper carnage smiled back at him. A disheveled Sif, hair wild despite being thrown back, with their kids encircled tightly in her arms. Ullr beamed brilliantly, his front two teeth missing, as he held up a Ninja Turtle to the camera. Hela’s smile was simply beautiful as she hugged two princess dolls close to her. Christmas last year. Loki was in Japan on business with the Osaka branch. He didn’t even Skype.
His intercom buzzed as his secretary could inform him of an important bigshot waiting on Line One. Something about the Vanaheim Tech acquisition and wanted to schedule a business dinner for the night. He thanked her and whipped out his phone to text Sif.
Let’s do Disneyland.
He hit send and answered the call.
***
It was approaching 9 o’clock when he got home. It was Friday so Sif let the kids stay up a little later than usual. The condo smelled like Nonno’s Pizza Pie Shop, which still startled him. It had been years since the condo had been his bachelor pad, but he still expected it to smell like expensive cologne. Hela sing-screaming Frozen could be heard out in the hallway, but was unbearable once in the apartment. Instantly his nerves grated. He loathed Frozen with every fiber of his being. He wished the legions of Mephisto on the damned creators of that cartoon. He would die a happy man if he never had to hear the emotional ice witch (who, admittedly, was rather hot), Pippy Longstocking’s evil twin, higher-than-a-kite snowman, or vacant ice shepherd ever again.
Sven was alright, though. He could deal with Sven.
He found Sif in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. Her hands were plunged into a sink of soapy water, sleeves of her work shirt rolled up around her elbows. Her eyes were droopy and frown lines set deep, indicative of the day she had and the mood she was probably in.
“How was dinner?” she asked. Loki thought he detected a bit of resentment.
“Boring.” He placed a bag of bagels from the lobby’s bakery on the counter. “Everything here?”
Hela squealed like a banshee from the other room. Must be the part with Marshmallow.
“Same as always,” she sighed as she rinsed a plate.
Loki lifted a brow. “Why aren’t you using the dishwasher?”
She flipped open the dishwasher door without taking her eyes of the sink. Millions of bubbles filled the appliance and dripped onto the floor. Loki flinched, wide eyed, but Sif didn’t even twitch. She swiftly kicked the door shut once again. “I asked Ullr to start the dishwasher. He used the liquid dish soap instead of the dishwasher fluid.”
Loki could only muster a simple: “Ah.”
She ran her hands under the water and turned towards him as she dried them on a dishtowel that was thrown over her shoulder. “Did you mean what you said earlier in your text?”
He smirked. “Which one? The one where I asked what you were wearing or the one about Disneyland?”
She rolled her eyes. He cackled and flipped open a near empty pizza box.
“About Disneyland.”
Now was his chance to back out. His text earlier was sent out of sentiment. Sappy regards from a bleeding heart. In hindsight, it seemed like a horrid mistake. He plucked a pepperoni and tossed it in his mouth. “Yeah.”
The smile that appeared on her face lit the condo. Despite the sinking feeling in his gut, he mustered a small smile.
Just then, Hela came running into the kitchen, her bare feet slapping on the tiled floor. A cheap toy store Elsa dress was thrown on over her pajamas and her freshly washed hair fell around her face in damp curls. She was painfully adorable.
She saw flew past Loki straight to Sif. “Mommy,” she said in her little pixie voice, “Can I have some ice cubes?”
Sif lifted an eyebrow. “Why do you want ice cubes?”
“I want to be Elsa!”
Mulling the request over, Sif eventually sighed and retrieved two ice cubes from the freezer. “Leave the cat alone,” she said as she placed the ice in their daughter’s tiny palms.
Hela hooted from the cold but nodded, swearing she wouldn’t, and ran off as quickly as she had come. Loki remained by the counter feeling transparent. No “Hi Daddy!” or even a second look. His heart twisted. He wanted to pick her up…
Sif turned back to Loki, but before they could continue their conversation, an agonized yowl soared over the ruckus of the movie. A chorus of maniacal laughter followed. Though Loki felt for the cat, he couldn’t fight the smidgen bit of pride he felt. Hela was definitely his daughter.
Sif shook her head and sighed.“Anyway, I’m glad you agreed. Your mother is booking everything tonight—”
“Well I’m glad I wasn’t joking…”
“—We should tell the kids now!”
He groaned. “They won’t sleep if we do.”
She shrugged him off and finished washing the dishes. Loki suddenly felt like an ass for not offering to help. “Ullr had soccer practice today and Hela missed her nap. They’ll pass out in a half hour. Hour tops.”
With her mind already made up, she marched into the living room. He dragged his feet after her, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trousers and head already pulsing from the screams that would doubtlessly follow.
His living room was in a state of chaos. Crayons were strewn all over the floor, Legos fucking everywhere, pillows and cushions were turned over, and Hela must have dragged out half of her dolls. Naked Barbies were scattered across the floor like a mass sexual homicide. He remembered when he had nice things like imported Italian rugs and a white Chanel couch…
Sif put the movie on pause and addressed their kids like a general. Loki imagined that’s how Tyr addressed her and Heimdall growing up.
“Settle down, on the couch,” she said. “We have something to tell you.”
Like good little soldiers, Ullr and Hela climbed on the navy sofa. Sif was trying very hard to hide a smile. It was obvious in the way her mouth shrank to counteract the desire to grin. Loki couldn’t help but grin. It was endearing that Sif was excited too.
“So as you kids know, this is the time of year mommy and daddy go on vacation. This year, we decided to take you with us.”
Ullr understood instantly and grinned from ear to ear. He was old enough to remember their annual get-away and always begged to go along with them, only to be disappointed when he was left behind. Loki didn’t feel too guilty, though. He wound up having a blast at Thor’s house with his sons Erik and Magnus. Hela, though, didn’t understand what was going on. She took her cues from her big brother and bounced with excitement when he did.
Sif smiled. “Don’t you want to know where we’re going?”
“Where?” Ullr blurted.
“Mykonos,” Loki said, not being able to resist the temptation. “Parties, drinks, optionally clad and morally ambiguous women.” His son’s brow furrowed in confusion while Hela continued to bounce on the cushions.
Sif shot Loki an irritated look before turning back to the kids. She could no longer contain her excitement. Her face lit up as she said: “Disneyland!”
Ullr’s eyes widened and mouth dropped in genuine surprise. Hela, despite her naivety, knew exactly what Disneyland was and squealed without her brother’s indication. The scene plunged into chaos rapidly as Ullr danced around the living room in exaggerated jubilation with Hela joining in. Loki couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as he watched his kids run around the condo screaming “Disneyland! Disneyland!”
Sif stood beside him, twitching with excitement, and snaked her arms around his waist. His arm automatically wrapped around her shoulders.
In the moment, Loki had no regrets. He was proud of himself for selflessly throwing away his plans for a relaxing, vacation sex packed retreat with Sif on some sandy beach for a family vacation. Maybe he was caught up in the romance, but he even felt a twinge of excitement. He couldn’t remember the last time he went on a vacation with his parents and brother. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw Thor. He’d deny it to his death to ever admit he missed the bg palooka, but he couldn’t wait to hang with him again. As brothers. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe this “Disney Magic” would do him good.
Little did he know what was in store for him at the Happiest Place on Earth…