Work Text:
the paved streets of the capital were slowly emptying of people as night came nearer. your leather boots clacked against the brick, the sound echoing off of the tightly placed buildings. the air around started cooling down, finally. it was a warm day today.
as you rounded a corner, you almost run face first into black armor. you backed up some, the heap of metal turning towards you. a man stares down at you.
you look at him, eyes wide, as your brain hiccups at the sight of his face. his scarred, cautious face. it's… familiar.
“...guts?”
you blink, the name coming out before the thought ended forming in your mind. but as it sets in, your whole face lights up with excitement.
“oh gods, its you! i didn't think i'd ever see anyone from the band of the hawk ever again!”
he glares at you.
“...i take it you were with the band then.”
he reaches back, gripping the handle of the massive sword strapped to his back.
you nod your head excitedly, disregarding his movement.
“yes, yes i was! i was one of the people under your command during the battle in midland.”
you stop for a second, smile faltering.
“everything was going great, and then... what happened?”
you look at him, sadly but inquiringly.
“after we won, i went back to my hometown for a while. but when i came back the whole band just... vanished, while i was away.”
his body language relaxes slightly, but he stays on guard.
“maybe that’s better. you sure got lucky.”
you give him a puzzled look, but fail to gage anything from his expression. then a shine appears in yours eyes.
“but i found you! you're here! i thought… i was the only one left.”
he pauses. he's not sure what to make of you.
“...is that so?”
he looks you up and down, unsure.
“if you really fought alongside me, what was your name again?”
you straighten your posture and put a fist to your chest. and say your name.
a spark of recognition flashes across his face.
“wait... you're the one i sparred with at the camp, right?”
your eyes widen slightly.
“oh, i'm surprised you remember that. yes, we did spar a few times.”
you look away sheepishly.
“although i lost every time.”
he nods.
“yeah, i remember now.”
he huffs.
“you were pretty good.”
he looks at you, sizing you up for the second time. he tilts his head slightly. he seems to be evaluating you. you've changed quite a bit since then.
you blink at him.
“you- you really think so?”
he nods.
“yeah... you had good instincts and a good eye.”
there's a sudden pause in the air.
“so, what are you doing now?”
you clasp your hands together and look to the side.
“well, i work here in the capital now. at the graveyard.”
his eyes widen slightly.
“the graveyard?”
he raises an eyebrow. caution gives way to curiosity.
you nod in confirmation.
“yes, i make sure it's tended to, make flower arrangements, dig new graves, but mostly just - stroll around and tidy things up.”
his dark eyebrows raise a tiny bit, but he says nothing. he's not really sure what to say, so he stays quiet. there's an awkward silence for a bit until he suddenly speaks up.
“...so, why the graveyard?”
you sigh a bit.
“well, i picked that up back in the band. i was always in the body recovery squad, and dug graves for our fallen troops. and then tended to their resting spots after.”
you smile slightly.
“i remember every single name i etched onto a gravestone. i'd like to think that i make their souls rest easy by not forgetting.”
surprisingly, a hint of a smile sneaks up onto his face.
“you're a good man. ‘s clear you have a lotta respect for our fallen comrades.”
a beat of silence. he stares at you for a moment before he says,
“you remember their names...? all of them?”
you look back up to the tall man.
“i do. and to really make sure i don't forget, i have a ledger with all of them.”
he's surprised, but also a bit impressed.
“you have the names of every soldier that died under my command in a ledger…”
a short pause.
“how many names are there?”
you tilt your head to the side.
“just short of four hundred, i'd say.”
his eyes widen in surprise.
“you got the names of four hundred people in a ledger…”
he looks at you in amazement now. the silence stretches for a bit before he finally speaks up.
“my, you're very diligent, ain’t you?”
you shrug with a tender expression.
“i don't want their deaths to go unnoticed. every written name is evidence of them living, and giving that life up for something greater.”
he pauses for a bit. his dark eyes slowly look around briefly before they focus back on you. he looks at you thoughtfully.
“you really care for the fallen.”
he looks away, his expression softening somewhat. his voice also lowers in tone to a more mellow volume.
“'s been a while since i've met someone like you.”
your eyes widen slightly, cheeks tinting a light pink.
“ah, well…”
you look away from the man.
“not everyone looks at it that way. so, thank you.”
an amused smile plays on his lips as he sees your cheeks blush. he leans against a nearby wall with a clunk of metal, his arms crossed. after a couple of seconds, he speaks up again.
“so... you still fight?”
you put your hands behind your back and hum.
“i used to, at first. took a few mercenary gigs here and there, helped out at the barracks, sparred with a few kids. but i haven't picked up a sword in years now.”
he raises an eyebrow at that.
“oh...? you decided to stop completely?”
his curiosity seems to be piqued by this, but his expression doesn't show it. his voice, on the other hand, shows mild surprise.
you shrugged.
“it just kinda... happened. i guess i could've picked it back up if i really wanted to, but i just- don't. i don't know.”
he cocks his head slightly. he seems to be processing that.
“hmm... you're still pretty fit, so it's not like your skills have been completely rusted.”
he pauses thoughtfully.
“are you worried about fighting again, or...?”
your brows furrow slightly as the cogs turn in your brain. fighting
“i guess i just... don't want to get involved in something like that.”
your eyes dim slightly.
“...don't wanna be the only one left again.”
he seems to understand how you feel. he thinks for a few seconds before speaking up.
“ah, i see. so, you want to just be at peace... you wanna remain uninvolved. and be safe.”
he cocks his head slightly. his next question seems genuine, and his voice is almost… soft.
“did you lose anyone close to you?”
a smile crawls onto your face before you’re able to stop it.
“i thought that i did, but…”
you look at him warmly.
“you're standing right here, before my very eyes, captain.”
for the first time, his expression softens entirely. that's a rare sight. he pauses, before he smiles back. his eyes don't have their trademark glare anymore. they're almost kind.
“ah…”
he seems slightly taken aback by this.
“you're right. i'm still here.”
there’s a twinkle in your eyes now.
“i'm really, really glad that you're okay.”
there's a beat of silence between you two. then, he speaks up, quieter.
“yeah... so am i.”
he lowers his arms slightly and clears his throat.
“it's good to see you again.”
you respond with a big smile. guts wasn't really one for sappy moments like this one, but you’re so glad to see it.
he's equally happy. the silence stretches before he finally breaks it.
“you're still the same as you were back in the day, you know that?”
you chuckle a bit at that.
“you think so?”
you sway slightly on your feet.
“that's good. i don't really want to change.”
a genuine smile curls up onto his mouth.
“you know what? i think that's a good thing.”
he scratches the back of his head with a small smirk.
“you were always a good guy on the inside, you know that?”
you cock your head to the side.
“only on the inside?”
he laughs.
“oh, and on the outside too, of course. i'm actually surprised you never got ladies all over you while we were still in the band.”
you turn your eyes away at that.
“ah, well... i'm honestly glad that didn't happen.”
he chuckles at that.
“is there a reason for that? or is it just cause you're a shy guy?”
you rub the back of your head.
“wouldn't wanna hurt them. i don't like rejecting people.”
his expression softens up at that.
“so you've always been a bit of a softy, huh?”
he chuckles quietly.
you smile a crooked smile.
“i guess you could call it that.”
he scratches the back of his head once again.
“i like that in you.”
he hums, then speaks again.
“is there anyone that you're close to right now?”
you blush a bit, then respond after a second of hesitation.
“a few friends, a couple of acquaintances. nothing more.”
he smiles again.
“oh. i understand.”
his smile fades a bit.
“i assume a boyfriend is out of the question then?”
you light up a bit at those words.
“well... that would be more likely.”
his mouth curves slightly into a smirk, as if he'd gotten an answer he somehow expected.
“ah. i see.”
there's a moment of silence that stretches briefly.
“do you got someone you like?”
you sigh.
“i do. yes.”
he smiles, but there's a slight hint of disappointment on his face.
“who's the lucky guy then?”
you chuckle, then shake your head. but your mind hangs onto the word. lucky.
“i won't tell. i don't think he's ready for that, and neither am i.”
he hums quietly at that.
“that so?”
he puts a hand on his chin and raises an eyebrow.
“does he… know how you feel about him?”
you rub the back of your neck.
“i don't know. i don't think i'll find out anytime soon.”
he raises an eyebrow again.
“you never confessed to him?”
you stop for a second.
“...i have.”
you shuffle slightly in place.
“but i'm pretty sure he doesn't remember.”
his eyes widen in surprise again. a wave of realization washes over his features.
“he... doesn't remember?”
you hum, then move to lean against the wall next to guts.
“he was drunk. it was years ago.”
his eyebrows raise yet again. he has a look of understanding in his eyes now. he grins knowingly, then hums in response.
“you've never considered telling him again?”
you look down at your feet.
“...didn't think it was possible.”
you relax your body against the wall.
“didn't think i'd ever see him again.”
he tilts his head slightly. he lets that sink in, pondering over his response. and he speaks up again.
“well, you're standing right here. you can just tell him now.”
a sly look slowly spreads across his face. he's playing with you just a little.
your breath stops, muscles tensing. then you glance at him, at his smirk, and laugh.
“well, i guess it was more obvious then i intended, hm?”
he chuckles.
“it was pretty obvious, yeah.”
he looks at you. the genuine smile returns to his face.
“you know... the only thing keeping you two apart is fear. fear of rejection, maybe.”
he pauses and gives you a teasing grin.
“but what do you have to lose, really?”
you fall silent for a second, a warm smile spreading across your face.
“i always admired you, you know?”
you keep looking ahead.
“but the admiration turned into something else. something i've felt before. but never that strong.”
you close your eyes for a moment.
“and after the war ended, and we were celebrating, i confessed. you just told me we would talk about it the next day.”
you tilt your head up and look at the slowly darkening sky.
“but the next day, you were gone. the others told me that you left the band behind. and i blamed myself for that.”
he blinks, genuinely surprised at what you just said. his expression shifts to one of sympathy.
“i remember.”
he looks down at the ground for a second. he seems to be thinking.
“you blamed yourself?”
your voice is quieter now.
“of course i did. especially since nobody knew your reason for leaving.”
he pauses for a moment, his eyes don't leave you. they seem sad now. he lowers his gaze, and starts to speak in a solemn tone.
“it's not your fault. you should know that.”
he pauses again, and seems to be searching for words.
you manage to look at him, expecting, waiting for him to continue.
and he does. his voice becomes soft, gentle, and sympathetic. there's a hint of remorseful sorrow. clearly, this is the most honest side of him that he's shown you so far.
“the world is harsh. and i was just so tired of fighting.”
he pauses for yet another second.
“i just... wanted to find my own place, get some peace. get away from all the fighting.”
he sighs and looks at the sky again.
you look at his face, then his armor, and finally, the sword strapped to his back.
“but that didn't quite work out, did it?”
he sighs heavily.
“no. it didn't.”
his eyes trail after the movement of clouds above. his voice shifts into a bit of a quieter, softer tone as he speaks again.
“i wanted peace, but life has a way of testing you over and over again. it's hard to let go of the past, and fight whatever comes in the future at the same time.”
he looks down, at the ground.
your face falls into a gentle expression as you look over at the tall man standing beside you.
“come live with me, then.”
the sudden suggestion catches him off guard. he blinks, as if he can't believe what he's hearing. then his face slowly shifts to one of utter shock.
“...what?”
for the first time in the whole conversation, he seems fully taken aback by what he's just heard. he shifts from foot to foot, as if he's not entirely sure of what to say and do at this moment.
you smile at him.
“you want to find peace. a place to call your own. i can give you that.”
he blinks a few times as he tries to properly process this. his words come out slowly and with a bit of hesitancy. and caution.
“and you're willing to... share that with me?”
you beam at him.
“of course. anything for my captain.”
for a long moment of surprise and disbelief, he's completely speechless. slowly, however, his lips curl up into that soft, genuine smile of his again. his hand instinctively moves to rub his neck.
“you still see me as your captain, after all this time?”
you look at him with utter warmth and awe.
“in a sense.”
you glance at his face.
“i was willing to give my life for you, to die under your command. i still would, if you just said a word.”
his eyes widen in disbelief yet again. genuine surprise and a hint of awe crosses his features. he's still processing all of this.
“i wouldn't ask you to do that.”
his words come slowly now, as if he's struggling to choose them wisely.
“but i can't believe you... still look at me that way. after all these years?”
you chuckle.
“yeah. every time i thought about settling down, i remembered everything that happened in the band. even if i wanted to, i could never truly forget about you. so i waited. and i thought that would be the rest of my life.”
his eyes soften again and his face shifts into a gentle smile. he's almost at a loss for words.
“you decided to wait for me all this time?”
you nod.
“even if sometimes it was hard, and i was losing hope, i would remember all our spars, all our talks. my confession. and the feelings always stayed the same.”
he slowly nods as well, his smile becoming sweeter by the second. this time, his eyes show nothing but pure fondness. as he speaks again, his tone is gentle and almost a bit shaky.
“...you really are persistent, huh?”
you laugh at that, then meet his eyes.
“i am, aren’t i?”
he laughs tool. his expression is sincere. he's actually enjoying a genuine, honest moment between the two of you.
“i have to say though, my persistence has been nowhere near yours... i would have given up after a year, maybe two maximum.”
another beat of silence, and his eyes are still locked with yours.
you hum.
“and did you?”
he stays silent for a few seconds. then he looks away, clearly considering something. his voice is still soft, but a hint of guilt creeps in.
“you want me to answer that?”
a fondness appears in your eyes. maybe you’re pushing it, but you want to know.
“i do.”
he gazes back at you, with an unsure glint to his eyes. his whole demeanor changes to discomfort.
“well, if you're really that curious”
he pauses for a second. then he answers.
“i almost did.”
you give him a small nod and hum.
“i don't blame you for that.”
he rubs the back of his head again. he seems to be weighing his words carefully.
“i feel... a lot of regret now right now.”
you tilt your head to the side and blink.
“regret for what?”
he stares at his feet for a few seconds. then he sighs slowly and turns back to look at you.
“for leaving you behind. for leaving you to go off all alone, for so long. i still feel like i owe you an answer as to why.”
his tone changes to one of sincerity, bordering on guilt.
you shake your head and look at him with a warm but stern expression.
“you don't owe me anything, guts. and now that i got to see you again, after all this time, it doesn't matter. you had your reasons.”
he closes his eyes for a beat, as if he's trying to resist something. but he soon opens them again, looking right at you. his eyes reveal vulnerability, as well as determination. he speaks slowly, but firmly.
“it matters to me, though. you waited for me all this time... you deserve to know why i left.”
your shoulders relax against the cold wall.
“i did always wonder. and so did others.”
a sad, nostalgic look crosses his face at this. he stays silent for a moment, as if he's thinking. then, he starts to speak again, his voice still gentle, honest, and heartfelt.
“all i can really say is that at the time, i thought it was the right decision for me.”
he pauses again. the vulnerable look doesn't go away. there is also a hint of something hopeful, but also a sort of bitterness.
“but now, i don't think it was.”
you click your tongue, thinking.
“well, it's all in the past now. can't do anything about it.”
you tilt your head down.
“but what you can do is make the most out of the life you have now. the life you have because of those past decisions.”
he slowly nods. his face becomes solemn for a second, but it passes just as quickly..
“yeah. you're right. i want to make the most of what i have now. my life, my decisions, my future with…”
there's a slight pause, as he seems to hesitate.
your heart is thumping in your ears, but you stay quiet. hopeful to hear his next words.
his eyes never leave you. he takes a deep breath, and speaks, his voice a lot quieter and softer.
“i want it with you.”
another quick pause, as he seems to wait for your response.
your lips curl into a crooked grin and you playfully punch his side.
“gods, that's so corny.”
you huff out a laugh.
“you already know how i feel about that.”
he chuckles softly. relieved.
“yeah, yeah. maybe it is. but i'm really serious about this.”
another beat of silence, and his tone becomes a little more sincere, as he reaches slowly to take your hand.
“...so, what do you say?”
you grab his right hand and squeeze it lightly as you look him in the eyes.
“i love you. i always did. and if i have to, i'll follow you to the depths of the ocean and the highs of clouds in the sky.”
he squeezes your hand back, tightly, almost as if he's afraid to let go. it's a moment of mutual vulnerability for the both of you. you can almost see the weight of years lifting off of his shoulders. as he looks back at you, his lips curl up into another gentle smile. he's genuinely happy now, and your love for him seems to have reignited his own.
“i love you too. more than i deserve.”
he pauses, his eyes growing wide as he realizes something. his voice becomes soft, almost nervous.
he's almost speechless, and his silence speaks volumes. in just a few minutes, he has gone from shock, to pure happiness, to nervous anxiety. finally, he clears his throat and asks a question.
“you're really... okay with this?”
your gaze softens, your thumb circling over his calloused hand.
“of course i am. after all this time, i don't think i would be able to refuse.”
there's an almost imperceptible sigh of relief in his voice, as he finally breathes. he gently squeezes your hand again.
“you have no idea how many times i thought that you'd moved on.”
he pauses for a moment, his expression becoming more wistful.
“if i had known, i would have come back to you a long time ago.”
you shake your head at that.
“no point in thinking like that now. neither of us knew if the other was still alive.”
you smile widely.
“and it worked out in the end, right?”
he laughs softly at this.
“it really did.”
another beat of silence. he's still smiling at you. a sudden shyness seems to creep into him now.
“so... where does this leave us now?”
his voice is even softer than before, with a hint of shyness that is almost endearing. it's almost as if he's starting to feel a bit of uncertainty after all the certainty in the past few minutes.
you hum and look at the sky.
“it's getting late. and you could probably use a rest.”
you turn back to him.
“so, let's go to my home.”
he looks up at the sky as well. dusk has already started to set in. he stays silent for a moment, his thoughts seemingly elsewhere, as if he's processing the whole situation, and trying to calm his emotions and nerves. after a bit of an awkward beat, he speaks again.
“yeah. i could use some rest.”
he shifts his weight, then meets your eyes once more.
“could i stay the night?”
you smile, then step away from the wall, pulling his hand gently.
“this one, and the next. and every other one after that.”
he smiles back at you, with genuine affection. the shyness from a bit ago completely disappears, as he lets out a small chuckle. his voice is confident and playful again.
“i'll take that as a yes, then.”
he doesn't resist letting his hand be pulled. his eyes look into yours, and his smile slowly spreads into a genuine grin.
and you offer him your own in return.