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December 24th 2017
My best friend did. My one and only.
On one hand, Satoru was so proud of his students, they had managed to hold off against Suguru, and Yuta managed to break his curse on Rika.
On the other hand, he had just killed his best friend, an action he couldn’t do 10 years ago.
If you want to kill me, kill me. There’s meaning in that too.
Satoru remembered that well. Satoru remembered Suguru so well.
Satoru didn’t have time for that now. Yuta had broken his curse on Rika, it was a time to celebrate. He would put his own emotions aside for his students.
He didn’t want them to end up like Suguru, hurt and lost.
They would all grow up to be fine sorcerers, Satoru was personally making sure of that. A generation that could change the status quo.
But, as everything does, the night faded away. His students had to rest.
And Satoru was alone.
The day he learned about the village massacre Satoru had no idea how to react. Suguru would never have done that. He would never kill without reason. He would never murder if there was no meaning to it.
They were both so young back then. Maybe that was the problem, young and stupid blinded by their own egos.
No, it was just Satoru who was blinded by that.
Satoru couldn’t bring himself to kill Suguru that day. The hesitation was unlike him.
He was the strongest and he couldn’t save his friend.
Satoru returned to his room, dark, quiet and empty as always. Tonight however, it felt darker, quieter and emptier than ever before.
In the drawer on his bedside table, among extra phone charging cords, pens and other items that had no proper home was a picture. Sometimes, he would take this picture out and just look at it.
They were so young back then. They had their whole lives ahead of them. But, somewhere everything went wrong. Everything went wrong and despite being his best friend Satoru hardly noticed.
Maybe he should have pressed more when he noticed that Suguru had lost weight. But Satoru trusted Suguru, and trusted he would tell him the truth.
Satoru was so busy, he didn’t even notice. Maybe if he had been a better friend.
But maybe gets you nowhere. The past is the past, what was done is done.
Today Satoru killed his best friend.
Today he felt alone, truly and utterly alone even though there were people around him. His students were there, Nanami was there, Shoko was there, and Yaga was there. Everyone was there, but Suguru wasn’t.
And Suguru would never be there ever again.
Satoru pulled the blind fold from his face, letting it fall to the ground. He held the picture careful to not damage it.
Once, Satoru hoped it was all just a bad dream and that he would wake up and Suguru would be there. That once again they could smile and laugh as they always did, that they could go on just one more mission together.
Satoru knew he had failed Suguru.
Satoru never hated Suguru, he could never hate him.
Satoru felt a tear fall down his cheek, and the one led to many.
He sat alone in his room, darker, quiet and emptier than ever before. He cried. Satoru had never cried. Perhaps now it was because he realized it was all over. Suguru was gone, Suguru would never come back, he could never laugh with Suguru ever again, he could never apologize to him.
Satoru never considered he’d be in a world without Suguru.
The memories of being young. tangled with years of pain, and so much regret.
Right now, Satoru Gojo was not the strongest.
“I love you.”
You should at least curse me at the end.
.
.
.
December 24th 2018.Today he killed his best friend.