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It’s Laura’s idea.
To be fair, most things in his life can be blamed on his sister. She’s a holy terror and he loves her too much to ever say no. She also has twenty-two years of his bad decision to use as blackmail against him, and she’s cruel enough to use them.
It starts with a TV show, some sci-fi fantasy thing about gay brothers or gay angels or gay something or others that hunt monsters. Derek has no idea, has never bothered to watch it. He’s more into shows like ‘Go On’ and ‘Community’. He’s good at falling into his head and fixating on the dark things, so he’s long since learned to keep his television consumption to lighter things. His sister on the other hand thrives on horror, and the people who make it. And apparently all of the actors in the gay monster show have all been in horror films in the past, which just makes it all “that much more awesome, little brother.”
She particularly enamored with one of the actors, some guy named Misha something or other, who has apparently taken it upon himself to start a scavenger hunt, and Derek will give the guy props for not being like other celebrities. Still, Laura has thrown herself into this thing full-tilt and is dragging him along for the ride.
“We need a guy on the team,” is her main argument. “The kilt item last year specifically stated the wearer had to be male, and you could totally pull off the fireman look.” He tunes her out at that point because he’s pretty sure he just doesn’t want to know.
It’s easy at first. He checks his facebook twice a day for the first time in nearly a year. He ignores their insane talk about team names and tries not to be concerned by how often the word butt comes up. There’s voting on the best platform for team organization, discussion about how to break down the item list, talk about all the places someone named Miss Jean Louis could’ve hidden little hints. It’s all insane, but pretty harmless.
Then one of their teammates pulls out at the last second and there’s a mad dash to find a replacement.
“The rules say that if we don’t have a full team they’ll just assign someone to us.”
“Yeah, someone lame. Because all of the good people will have been picked up by now, or will be sticking with their teams from the last couple of years,” she says with her usual my brother is an idiot eye roll. Derek hates that eye roll.
Sighing he flicks through her ‘tumblr’ again, idly clicking links in the ‘gishwhes tag’. “What about this girl, apparently she’s good at coding.”
Laura leans over his shoulder and barely reads the name before scoffing. “She nearly got her team disqualified the first year, and then barely participated at all last year. Dead weight. Next candidate.”
“You know this is supposed to be for fun, right?,” he says, scrolling further down the page. “You guys are intense about this.”
“Trying to put together the perfect team is half the fun. We need someone who’s good at art, creative, pro-destiel, hopefully a GISHWHES veteran, anti-samifer because that totally sets Alice off.”
Derek sighs, dropping his head forward and wondering if it’s really that important to keep those pictures from junior prom a secret. “You realize I don’t know what half the words you just said mean, right?”
It earns him a sigh that matches his own before Laura grabs a chair and drags it over, settling beside him to look at the computer. “We want someone either from outside the states, or if they’re American we want them to be on the west coast somewhere. Preferably nearly L.A. or Seattle and Vancouver. Just bring up their blogs and their ads and I’ll tell you if they’re what we’re looking for.”
It takes an hour for them to find a ‘worthy candidate’ and Derek is not made for spending that long on a computer. But Laura’s having fun, and her last break-up was a nasty one and their mother made him promise to help cheer her up, so he keeps his mouth shut.
“Perfect! Send him an ask!”
“I thought we were looking for a….Supernatural fan. Look at the title, this has to be a batman fansite.”
The look Laura shoots him is withering and for half a second Derek is reminded of being a little kid. “They’re blogs, not fansites. And that’s the start of a quote from Supernatural. See,” she says, pointing to a little box title ‘about me’. “’Yeah, you’re batman.’ Sam says that to Dean. And his posts all scream destiel, and he’s a good artist, and he’s in California. So hurry up and ask him to join our team before someone else does.”
So Derek does as he’s told and sends leviathansinthetardis a message inviting them to their team, and then relays the eager acceptance back to his team. Laura takes over from them, inviting him into the facebook group and making introductions.
And that’s how Derek meets Stiles.
***
Stiles Stilinski: I have all the law enforcementesque items covered.
Laura Hale: Seriously? All of them. That’s like six items.
Stiles Stilinski: Nine. I can do the firemen and EMT ones too.
Alice O’Keefe: Don’t claim more than you can do, otherwise we’ll be scrambling at the end.
Amateur mistake.
Laura Hale: Exactly. It’s why we lost last year.
Stiles Stilinski: Haha, no seriously guys.
My dad’s the Sheriff, I can just go to work with him one day and get these all done.
And my best lady friend is dating a lawyers son, so I’ll make her bully him into getting that one done.
Laura, can you get your brother to do item 57? I think it’d be hilarious if this big burly guy (cause you said he’s all grrr muscles right?) did it. It would totally make Misha and MJL laugh and get us bonus points.
Laura Hale: I like the way your brain works, little man. The Hales are officially voluntold for 57. Sign us up for 101 too. I want to see Derek at a tea party with my students.
Stiles burst out laughing. There weren’t really that many pictures of Derek up on his facebook, but according to Laura he was a 6’something jock type, completely with facial hair. Picturing him wearing the requisite ‘dainty hat’ and ‘lace gloves’ was just about the funniest thing Stiles had ever imagined in his life. And with Laura’s kindergarten class! It would be hilarious!
Logging off he jogged down the stairs, grabbing up a piece of paper and pen to start writing up a shopping list. He was curious to see how strange the looks he got this year would be. Last year wasn’t bad – cucumbers, cheese slices, and spaghetti weren’t that weird. But this year’s list involved some really curious items. Then again, he’d been living in Beacon Hills long enough that most of the town were used to his exceedingly bizarre shenanigans. By this points he wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t react beyond giving his dad a cursory ‘your kid is being weird again’ heads up.
As though the Sheriff didn’t already know his son was insane. Hah!
“Where are you off to?”
Looking up he grinned at his dad, perking up slightly when he saw the pot of coffee percolating. “Have I told you how much I love you recently?” he asked, making his way to the pot. “And it’s GISHWHES season again. I have errands to run and art to create.”
“Mayhem to cause. Just don’t break any laws this year, as bizarre as they are.”
“Hey,” he said, spinning to see his dad’s grin. “I had no way of knowing that setting up a bed in the Wal-Mart parking lot was in the legal grey area. That’s just weird. Who even comes up with a law like that?”
“Who comes up with an item like that?”
“Touché, father mine. Our overlord is a dark and mysterious creature.” Grinning he poured himself a to-go mug replete with milk and sugar before settling beside his dad at the table. “There’s some law enforcement items too, so I told the team I’d head to work with you one day to do them.”
That earned a laugh out of the Sheriff before he shook his head, a grin spreading out across his features. “Marcie was wondering if you’d be around again this year. She had a blast helping you last year,” he said, sipping his coffee. “I’ll check the schedule and see who’s on when.”
“Seriously, best dad ever. I’ll buy you something when we get to Rio.”
“Damn straight.”
Laughing Stiles stood again, nudging his dad’s arm before grabbing his list and coffee and heading to the door. “Scott and I might not be back until late. Gonna see what items we can get done.”
“Stay out of trouble.”
“We won’t,” he shouted back, before hightailing to his jeep with a laugh. Scott would totally go with him to the bungee jumping place, and then not rat him out. Hopefully he’d even still have his Captain America costume from last year. That would be ten kinds of awesome.
***
“I am not doing that.”
“Oh come on, Derek. It’ll wash off.”
“Don’t you dare take one more step towards me with that stuff, Laura. I swear. I did not sign on for that,” he said, glaring at the offending jar.
Laura gave up on her pout and reverted to her usual glare. “Yeah, you did. This is really important to me, and it clearly states it has to be a man doing it, and the only other guy we have is Stiles. Who, might I add, is already doing like a dozen items.”
“He’s weird. And must not sleep,” he said. And it was completely true, the kind was so gung-ho about this stupid scavenger hunt. He already had four items done and it was only the first day.
“He’s dedicated. Come on, we take on picture and then you wash it off and I’ll take you out for supper. Please, little brother.”
Letting out the closest thing to a snarl he could get, Derek jerked his head. He groaned a second later when Laura opened the first jar and the offensive smell of marshmallow fluff hit his nose. There was no way this scavenger wasn’t against the UN list of torture methods. Who came up with this stuff?
“Shirt off. You need to be covered in this stuff head to toe. I have a marshmallow hat for you too,” she said with glee.
“I hate you.”
“Love you too, kiddo.”
***
“What is that?”
Stiles looked over his shoulder, trying to make out his dad’s expression through the blur of tears. Snorting he tried to supress his laughter long enough to answer him, though one glance at the computer screen nearly set him off again.
“That’s Derek Hale, sporting item 23.”
“Is that a hat made out of marshmallows? And a blue and red scarf…let me see the item description.”
He laughed bringing up the other window and nearly bouncing in his seat. “Laura turned him into the Stay Puft man. We are getting so many bonus points for that. I could kiss her. And then kiss Derek.”
The Sheriff chuckled, leaning back slightly as he did. “You’re completely ignoring every ‘don’t talk to strangers on the internet’ conversation we’ve ever had, aren’t you?”
“I haven’t given them my social security number.”
“Oh well, as long as there’s that. Just don’t invite anyone to live with us.”
Rolling his eyes Stiles turned back to the computer, clicking through the item list to see what had been completed. Alice was stellar at keeping them organized. “It was really nice of Johanna to offer us safe haven last year. Romney getting in was a serious concern. I was making sure we had a fall back escape plan if that happened.”
“At least you’re making friends, weird as they may be.” Reaching past his son, the sheriff grabbed the nearly forgotten calendar on the desk and circled a date “You can come in on Thursday. Everyone’s agreed to help as long as it isn’t too extreme.”
“Sweet! Can you ask Andy to bring his cat and his nerf gun?”
There was a long moment of silence before the Sheriff sighed and made his way back to the bedroom door. “I don’t want to know. I’ll ask.”
“I love everything you choose to be!”
“Yup.”
***
Stiles Stilinski: Derek! Hey!
Derek Hale: Hi.
Stiles Stilinski: You totally failed kindergarten, didn’t you. You have zero social skills. It’s adorable. Anyways, I just wanted to see how it was going. I haven’t really talked to you since you invited me to join the team.
Derek Hale: I might murder my sister.
Stiles Stilinski: Marshmallow fluff stuck in your hair?
Derek Hale: Might just kill all of you.
Stiles Stilinski: You fill me with warm fuzzy feelings.
Seriously.
But like, thanks for doing that one. I assumed I would have to and I didn’t really want to because I’m kind of allergic to that stuff.
Derek Hale: Then why would you do it?
Stiles Stilinski: Because it’s the point. Doing fun stuff you wouldn’t normally do, pushing yourself.
I mean, up until last year I had MASSIVE body issues.
But then I posed in a cheese dress and kind of got over it.
And like, my self-confidence is so much higher because of the ridiculous things GISHWHES makes you do. Y’know.
It’s fun. Stop overthinking.
Derek Hale: I see. I hadn’t…thought of it like that.
Stiles Stilinski: ‘Cause you’re a sourpuss. I’m totally hugging you in Rio, and there’s nothing you can do about it. HAHAHA
Derek Hale: You’re all insane. Laura says we’ll do 21 and 148.
She has that look in her eye. I think we’re off to do something strange.
Bye.
Stiles Stilinski: Bye Derek. BYE LAURA.
Derek Hale: Caps lock doesn’t actually make the words louder.
Stiles Stilinski: Shush up, go away.
-makes shooing motion-
Go make art!
Derek Hale has logged off.
***
It’s really hard to judge someone’s level of attractiveness when they’re dangling from a bungee cord, or wearing a wookie costume. Mind you, it’s not curiosity about what Stiles looks like that drives Derek to his facebook page. It’s just plain curiosity. He’d expected the kid to be a dumb eighteen year old, but he kept proving himself to be intelligent and insightful. And creative.
So he went to his facebook page. And while Stiles was young looking, he was definitely attractive. Really attractive.
Derek had kind of assumed he’d be an awkward, gangly, pimple-faced thing. Instead he’s faced with 138 pictures of beauty marks and big knowing grins. The pictures from his highschool years match with the preconceived notion, but it’s obvious that Stiles has grown into himself. He looks lean and toned, like a swimmer or a runner, and Derek vaguely wonders if he’d go running with him in Rio. Assuming they won the trip to Rio.
Swallowing he forces himself to navigate away from the page, because getting an awkward crush on a guy he’s known for a week over the internet is a bad idea. Worse than when he dated Kate. Worse than when he tried to take up parkour.
Still, Stiles is kind of stuck in his head and he finds himself putting more effort into the hunt. He made some good points, and it’s true that he and Laura are closer than they’ve been in ages. It’s been a long time since they laughed the way they have doing these things.
“We’ve got twelve hours left, right?” he asks, trying to sort out the math. His computer has long since decided it hates the countdown clock on the website.
“Yup. But I mean, really only five if you want to get home in time to get some sleep.”
He hesitates, but it’s obvious Laura really wants to win and that right now she doesn’t see it happening. She’s got that manic look that always came right before an all-nighter, and he finds himself smiling indulgently. What’s a few hours of lost sleep when it might make his sister, and their team, happy.
“Come on, we can totally get at least four more items done before the clock runs out. You put on coffee, I’ll go out and get sour patch kids.”
The morning is going to be hell and he’s going to be grumpy, but it’s worth it for her smile.
***
Stiles Stilinski: I can’t believe it’s over.
Laura Hale: I know! I’m so sad. I think I’m in shock.
Alice O’Keefe: I keep tallying points, trying to figure out if we’ve won.
I just want the okay to start posting pictures so we can compare with other teams.
Stiles Stilinski: We did seriously well, you guys. I mean, really really well. I doubt anyone else managed to make a six course meal for an authority figure with kale involved in each course.
Good job on figure that out, Derek, btw.
Derek Hale: I like Kale.
Stiles Stilinski: And we like you.
Derek Hale: You’re a dweeb.
Stiles Stilinski: You love me for it.
Derek Hale: Sure. Love. Let’s go with that one.
Stiles Stilinski: :D I knew it! I’m totally sending you a present.
But no, seriously, we should keep this group open.
I wanna keep talking to you guys.
We should exchange deets and like…send Christmas cards and stuff!
Derek Hale: I am not giving you my address.
You’ll show up here with some other weird event you want help with.
Stiles Stilinski: Only if you promised hot chocolate and cuddles.
Derek Hale: I don’t cuddle.
Laura Hale: He totally does.
Derek Hale: Shut up, Laura.
Alice O’Keefe: I doubt cuddling is what would happen if you two were in a room alone together.
You can come hang out with me while they have hot gay sex, Laura.
Laura Hale: HAHAHA LOL Thanks, Alice! You’re a true friend!
Derek Hale: I hate you all
Stiles Stilinski: I’ve gotta go. Company. Bye.
Stiles Stilinski has logged off.
Ok. So. Stiles really wanted to cuddle with Derek. Like. A lot. All the time. He’d had freaking dreams about lounging on the beach in Rio with him, cuddling in a hotel room, hanging out together while they talked to Misha. It was a thing he kind of really wanted, a lot.
It was also a thing he was totally aware wouldn’t happen. Derek was a business major who loved manual labour and exercise and barely spent any time on the computer. Stiles was a dual Creative Writing – Theatre major, with a minor in English Lit. He lived on the internet. They were totally different creatures who probably had nothing in common, at all, whatsoever.
Only Derek apparently really liked kids, and so did Stiles. And he’d seen a couple vintage horror posters in the background of one of Derek’s submissions, and Stiles loved classic horror films. They had some similar bands in their ‘likes’ category on facebook, and they both loved their cars, and were fiercely protective of their families. So they kind of did have some stuff in common, and Stiles kind of really did want to find out if they were compatible in more ways, and he kind of was completely smitten with his teammate.
He needed to find a picture of Derek where he wasn’t in some sort of GISHWHES disguise. As shallow as it was, maybe he’d be the total opposite of Stiles’ aesthetic type and any crushing would have to remain platonic in nature.
Derek’s facebook page was bare. Like. Bare. Apparently Laura had made it for him for the sole purpose of GISHWHES. It had some basic info in the ‘about me’ section, and a couple of liked apps and games, but that was it. No tagged photos, at all.
Maybe there would be something on Laura’s page. Hers was chock full of stuff and had at least twice as many pictures as Stiles had on his. And they were siblings, so it would make sense for them to have pictures together at like, family events and stuff. From what Stiles knew, they were close too, so they probably hung out together a lot and would have pictures of those. Pictures where Derek had weird eyebrows, or missing teeth, or just didn’t appeal to Stiles’ aesthetics. Maybe there’d be one where he was kicking a kitten. Anything to end the crush that was forming.
It took half an hour, but Stiles found a picture.
Stiles was fucked.
***
Derek was screwed.
Completely and utterly screwed. And he knew it, and Laura knew it, and she didn’t hesitate to rub it in his face.
“Ask him out.”
“He lives in California.”
“So?”
“We live in New York, Laura. We’re on the other side of the country. Relationships don’t work that way.”
Laura huffed, stirring the pot of tomato sauce on the stove as she looked over her shoulder at her brother. “Mom and Dad did long distance for two years while she finished her masters. And that was before the internet and free long distance calling.”
“They were already dating by that point. Dad’s said it himself that they were pretty much engaged,” he said, glaring at his sister. “And dad wasn’t four years older than her.”
“Oh wow, four years. Cradle robber,” she said, seasoning the sauce. “Four years is nothing, and we both know Stiles is mature. He’s a legal adult, fully capable of making his own choices. And you two have been pining over each other for months.”
“I’m a werewolf. He’s a human.”
That excuse earned him a full-blown laugh from his sister. “Oh wow, you suck at this. We don’t actually know for a fact whether he’s human or not. And who cares. As if you’d be the first werewolf to date a human. Get over yourself.”
Derek frowned, glaring at his laptop. Stiles was amazing. He was smart, and witty, and didn’t hesitate to send Derek dumb things he’d found on the internet. Two months since the hunt had started, and he was still talking to him nearly every day. He was cute, and funny, and Derek really liked him. A lot.
“You suck at being supportive.”
“You suck at life. When we win the trip to Rio you’re going to get off the plane, march up to Stiles and kiss him. Like, seriously kiss him. Got it?”
She didn’t wait for him to respond before leaving the room, fully expecting her kid brother to do as he was told. And in all honesty, he probably would. He just hoped they won.
***
Derek Hale: We lost.
Stiles Stilinski: I know. It sucks. But at least our items rocked.
Alice O’Keefe: And we won second prize. Autographed GISHWHES flags. That’s kind of awesome?
Stiles Stilinski: Exactly! And we know our team is awesome, so we stick together and next year we win.
You’re sticking with the team, right Derek?
Derek Hale: Yeah. I’ll stay.
Stiles Stilinski: Sweet! Team Weneedabetternamenextyear for the win!
Alice O’Keefe: Omg Stiles, you’re too adorable.
I’m so glad Laura and Derek found you.
Stiles Stilinski: sldfhskmf me too!
You guys are awesome!
I’m having feels.
Derek Hale: You’re all still insane.
Stiles Stilinski: Whatever. You’re just jealous.
You’ll totally be as bad as us when we all meet up next year.
Derek Hale: We’ll see.
Next year.
Time to go meet Laura. Bye.
Derek Hale has logged off.
“What’s going on kid?”
Stiles sighed, looking up from his pizza to meet his dad’s gaze. “Nothing you can help with.”
Frowning the sheriff put down the fork that had been idly stabbing lettuce. “You don’t know that. Tell me what’s happened and we’ll see what we can do about it.”
“I appreciate the effort dad, but I’ve just developed another ill-advised crush on someone I can’t ever have.”
“Aw, kid. Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure,” he said, returning his attention to his supper. Seeing his dad’s sympathetic aka pitying gaze sucked almost as much as the unrequited affections did. “He lives in New York, and I’m pretty sure he’s descended from Greek gods. I just need to…y’know…deal with it until it fades.”
There was an awkward pause before his dad spoke again, voice hesitant. “Do you want to talk about it, or him?”
“Not really. He’s smart, and responsible, and has an amazing dry humor,” he said, cutting himself off with a weak laugh. “I think you’d really like him, if life wasn’t an asshole that put an entire country between us.”
His dad stood, and Stiles looked up, trying not to look to self-deprecating. “Come on, kid. Call the McCall’s and tell them we’ll be there in 15. We need curly fries, ice cream, and horror movies.”
“And booze?”
“Nice try.”
Well. It was worth a shot.
***
Laura Hale: How’re mom and dad?
Derek Hale: Good. Mom’s baking up a storm for some town fundraiser. Dad’s hiding because he tried to help and ended up ruining a batch of cookies.
Laura Hale: HAHA So the same as ever?
Derek Hale: Pretty much.
Laura Hale: How much family bonding has your lovelorn moping incited?
Derek Hale: I’m not lovelorn.
Laura Hale: How much?
Derek Hale: …a bit.
Laura Hale has invited Stiles Stilinski into the conversation.
Laura Hale: Stiles! I have to go, but Derek is hiding from our parents so amuse him. BE GOOD BOYS!
Laura Hale has logged off.
Stiles Stilinski: Hiding from your parents?
Derek Hale: I’m visiting for a couple weeks. They’ve forgotten I’m not a teenager anymore.
Stiles Stilinski: HAHAHA. Special reason for the visit?
Derek Hale: Their 25th wedding anniversary. It’s chaotic and terrifying. They alternate between arguing about plans and being horribly sappy.
Stiles Stilinski: Sounds sweet.
Derek Hale: It is, but still annoying. And it’s a small town, so everyone is coming to see me.
Stiles Stilinski: And we both know how much you hate people.
Derek Hale: Exactly.
Stiles Stilinski: Where abouts in the good ol’ U S of A are you?
Derek Hale: California.
Stiles Stilinski: WHAT!? WHERE IN CALI??
Derek Hale: Uhm, this small town in norcal. Redding.
Stiles Stilinski: LSFHDKnsLDFSDHKIFDS THAT’S LIKE THREE HOURS AWAY FROM ME.
Derek Hale: Calm down. I thought you were in so-cal?
Stiles Stilisnki: No way, dude.
I’m in Norcal.
Beacon Hills.
I’m honestly only three hours away from you right now.
Like…
I’m close enough I could visit you.
Derek Hale: …
What are you doing tomorrow?
Stiles Stilinski: I have zero plans. None. Nada. Zilch.
Derek Hale: Would…
Do you want to go out?
On a date.
Either town. I can come down to you if you want.
Stiles Stilinski: The amount of want I have.
Yeah, dude, I’d seriously like that.
A lot.
Derek Hale: Good. Send me directions and I’ll come down in the morning.
Stiles Stilinski: My friend is over and he’s asking if my face is broken, I’m smiling so wide.
Directions sent.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
I’m expecting a kiss, fyi.
Cause I like you a lot.
And really want to kiss you. On the face.
Derek Hale: I think I can arrange that. I’ll see you tomorrow.