Chapter Text
Void, a hostile unreality. A space between worlds tearing at all that exists. Glimpses of meaning, flashes of memories not once held, from worlds not once visited. Seconds, years, millennia, a panic sets in and then is wretched away. A fading of self, saved right before obliteration.
Darkness. Light. New senses dotting perception. A brushing of stone, wetness of water. An emptiness that no longer exists. Sounds, some meaningless, some half inscribed with meaning.
"Look...it..."
"Now...bring it here."
A wrongness sets in, misplacement unfolding. Colors fill in wireframe without understanding, a sensation of motion.
Questions left unfulfilled in a haze, not even asked.
"It glows like...and...without a mark."
A million memories, but none understood.
Words wash over above comprehension, until they don't.
I, glow? I?
What am I?
A question out of reach from all who could answer.
Chapter 1:
The spear thudded against the tree, just below the target X carved into it. I run up to it and look back at Veril hopefully.
“Yes, yes, you’ve improved, greatly so since you started. With some more practice you could be able to hit dropwigs in tricky positions.”
Veril stood next to a pile of spears we had collected. His critical gaze looks over me and the target, and I feel warmth from his praise.
“Or you could just bait its attack and then stab it. No tricky aiming required!”
A spear zipped by my antennae, causing me to flinch from the proximity, and struck the target. Xanim had pounced from atop a nearby stalk, landing on all fours after he threw a spear. Standing, feet silent against the muddy floor, he flashes a grin. The stalky plants littered the surrounding area, but here was a fortunate clearing that made spotting predators an easier task. And made certain people more relaxed!
“There are countless reasons you would not want to do that that I will not get into now.” Veril replied.
“Kit’s good enough at throwing spears, we should teach him how to use them in melee soon.”
I cringed at the thought of personally stabbing something in front of me; watching Veril and Xanim do it made me uneasy enough.
“Clouds are gathering, how about we get to a shelter now?” I plead.
Xanim smirked and did a mock salute.
“Good luck teaching them that. And yea, let's get going.”
Xanim grabs a spear, drags a second one behind him in his other hand, and heads off leaving me and Veril to follow behind each with one of the two remaining spears. Walking through Where the Plants Are Thick and Stocky always feels a bit unsettling near a cycle’s end. Elongated shadows spring from the flora like claws reaching to snuff your light out, the scuttling of unseen creatures growing louder as they seek shelter. I grab Veril’s arm and pull him forward to walk next to Xanim.
Xanim looks down at our hands and opens his mouth, but a look from Veril silences him. I know what he would say though. I should be stronger. I need to be, to survive in this world. One day...one day I might get one of them killed over my weakness. The idea fills me with dread.
“The shelter is over here, in this structure…and here we are.”
Inside one of the partially intact ruins one could find about, it is even darker than outside. I let go of Veril and jump into the shelter, where I can illuminate all of my surroundings.
“Careful there, you never know what might be lurking in a tight space, waiting for you!” Xanim calls from outside. They both crawl in and sit down, there being barely enough room for all of us to do so with the four spears.
I try to get comfortable sitting against the wall, the mark above Veril’s head becoming clear as he stops moving. We sit in silence for a few minutes waiting for the shelter to close. I will finally be completely safe, at least until the next cycle.
“Kit, there's something…” Veril looks nervous as he speaks and I feel my own anxiety creeping up.
“There’s something you should know.”
Xanim opens his eyes, having dozed off earlier, suddenly attentive.
“We are doing this now? Finally!” He looks amused. What will Veril say? Nothing happened recently I can think of, and we spend every day together. What do I not know?
“What's going on?” I try to say in a calm voice. Veril takes a deep breath before speaking.
“You are not a slugcat.” Confusion fills my mind.
“What do you mean?” I say in an urgent tone. I have no idea what to think. I feel like there is a lizard bearing down on me, a pressure on my chest.
Xanim sits upright.
“Look at them, that was not the way to do that.” Xanim shakes his head at Veril.
“Fine then, you go ahead and try.” Xanim looks back and forth between me and Veril. I open my mouth.
“What do you mean I’m-”
“Listen. Alright. Look, see me and Veril? Different tan, right? He’s almost white but slightly light green, and I am slightly red. No differences besides that right? Well, besides our faces of course.”
I look down at myself.
“I’m white.”
“Yes, your color is close enough, but what about everything else? You have antennae, hooves, your legs bend weirdly, and all the things we do share are differently sized on you. Honestly I can’t believe we are having this conversation a year after we found you. You’d think you would have-”
Veril smacks Xanim on the back of the head and he stops talking. I’m not a slugcat? But then what am I? They’ve never talked about anything like this before. I feel my breath grow shallow. What else do I not know? Why am I with Veril and Xanim? They are all I can ever remember.
Veril scoots over and pulls me into a hug, leaning against the wall. I hug him back tightly.
“It’s ok. This is all you’ve ever known. There's no shame in being mistaken. Besides, you’ve always traveled with us and will always be welcome to do so. You are a slugcat to me.”
Xanim nods.
“Yea, you can stay with us, we just thought you should know, that’s all.”
The shelter closes in a series of loud thuds and clangs. Something Xanim said echoes in my mind.
“You said you found me? Where?”
With the gate closed, Xanim crawls over to where I was sitting and lies down, burying his head in his tail to shut out the combined light from me and Veril.
“A year ago, we saw a white glowing leaf fall onto the ground and turn into you, but a bit smaller. You were asleep so we took you to a shelter. I don’t have anything else to tell you unfortunately. Neither of us have any idea what you are nor have seen anything like you. The leaf could’ve blown in from far away, I suppose.”
Veril gently pushes me off him and curls himself into a sleeping position.
“We should sleep. You don’t want to be tired next cycle.” Something occurs to me.
“I thought I was just bad at sleeping.” Veril lifts his head.
“Yes, your kind probably doesn’t sleep in shelters like this, which is interesting.” Xanim scrapes a spear along the wall and gets our attention.
“Can we all please politely shut the-” Xanim’s voice is muffled as he shoves his mouth into his tail. Veril shakes his head but goes to sleep as well.
Now alone, only accompanied by their steady breathing and my own thoughts, my mind turns to the earlier conversation. I’m lucky that they found me, and not anything else. Even more so that they let me stay with them ever since. I can’t imagine being lost in this world alone. The thought terrifies me as I close my eyes.