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You rapidly pressed your pen as you read over the pink sticky note on your hand, making sure no spelling mistakes had been committed and your handwriting looked smooth and neat. You shuffled through your pocket to find the bear-themed Washi tape you had bought in the stationery store on your way to the birthday event, and cut a piece as carefully as possible while holding your note between your lips. Finally, the sticky note was done, ready to be placed onto the wall alongside the hundreds, if not thousands, of birthday messages.
That's right, it was January 10th, his birthday.
A grin from ear to ear emerged as you took a second look over the message wall. You could already identify dozens of languages, drawings, memes, all surrounding his cheerful photo. You called yourself a Geonppangdan, or simply put, a Park Gunwook fan. Naturally you were a Zerose too, constantly listening to Zerobaseone's music and consuming their media - However, something about Gunwook had always struck out to you, either his charisma, or his voice, or simply the charm surrounding him. He was your bias, so you chose to take this day to celebrate his birthday in a way or another. After some research, you had found this cafe nearby your district in Seoul which would be carrying out a birthday event for him with special decorations and drinks. Some of your friends agreed on dropping by later, yet you chose to arrive earlier to place down a heartfelt message for Gunwook. Sure he likely would never read it, but the intention was what counted.
Finally, you sticked it next to a large 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' text written over. It didn't particularly stand out like other long letters or unique colors, but it was your personal preference when choosing every single detail of it. You were proud of your message, taking a small step back to look at the bigger picture when you end up bumping onto someone standing behind you. You rapidly turn around in a bow, feeling embarrassed.
"I'm really sorry-"
When you looked up, a tall man gazed down upon you. He was wearing a cap and a white mask, having his hair falling over his eyes for a bit. While he did widen his eyes slightly as you bowed, he quickly chuckled and brushed it off. "That's alright, I should be sorry for not stepping back."
That voice was very familiar to you. So was his way of speaking and dressing. You blinked once, maybe twice, as you continued staring up at him. His face was mostly covered by a cap and a mask, but as you tried to make out his features, your uncertainty slowly turned into shock and disbelief. Glancing down, you noticed he also happened to be wearing a bracelet you had seen Gunwook wearing before, and shoes as well. It was as if your heart had jumped out of your chest and fallen right in front of his feet, and you were simply staring at it. He seemed to have noticed your reaction, and who wouldn't have after all? Yet remained calm as he peeked to the letters behind you.
"Hm..." He looked around the wall, giving a small nod of approval. "Which one have you written?"
"...Me?" A rather stupid question you inevitably blurted out as you jumped back to a straight stance. Before he could reply to your question, you kept talking as if you had answered it yourself. "It's uhm, that... No, this one here."
Your hand trembled as you pointed to your sticky note, not fully processing what was occurring at that moment. Let alone that was very likely to be Park Gunwook standing next to you, he had asked to read your birthday wishes to him. Quite the unrealistic scenario, but it was pretty much taking action right before your eyes. He leaned forward to your sticky note, quietly reading it as he mumbled your words to himself. Watching him struggle with his black hair falling before his face as he did so made you want to melt all over the floor right there and then.
"...And finally, happy birthday to our all-rounder Park Gunwook. You deserve all the happiness and love." He finished it with a chuckle when he called himself an 'all-rounder'. While you could not fully process hearing your own words coming out of his mouth, you smiled from ear to ear when hearing his laughter. You had to look up when possibly-Gunwook turned around once more to talk to you. "It is a very sweet message."
"Thank you. I'm hoping Park Gunwook would enjoy it as well."
He stared at you in confusion. You had taken that opportunity to finally assure yourself of his identity, and how else if not by making a statement that he could easily refute or agree with? Regardless, his reaction surely was enough to give you the green light.
"I'm sure I- I mean he..." He laughed as soon as he heard you laughing as well. Gunwook took his cap off to fix his hair, and you finally took a proper glimpse of his eyes; looking even prettier as he smiled at you. "Well, you knew it already anyway... Right?"
You bowed to him once more, feeling honored of the opportunity of showing him your message. "Thank you for reading my note."
"Thank you for the birthday wishes." He bowed to you this time, as you quickly fanned your face when you leaned back up. You could feel your cheeks burning in a mixture of adrenaline and serotonin rushing all over your body, once again smiling to Gunwook. While you could presume he had a tight schedule, you didn't want for that moment to end quite yet - if anything, you wanted to cherish this day even more with him, to talk more, ask so many questions and-
"Hey." You played with your fingers as you looked to the side, still intimidated to look at him directly. He leaned closer to hear your voice, such that it had barely sounded louder than a whisper when you called for him. Watching him being close to you made you think what could've possibly given you this much luck in a casual day in January. "I... Well, since it's your birthday and all that- I was wondering if you wanted a drink from the cafe...?"
The bare minimum you could possibly do for your favorite idol was buy him something for his birthday, no? Even if it was as simple as a drink, you were hoping to be able to do something that could brighten his day, even in the slightest. He looked away for a moment, as if he was considering your offer. For a not-so-strange reason, your heart started racing before he gave you a definite answer.
"...What kind of drinks do they have?" You couldn't tell if you were more startled at how easygoing he was, or if he actually said yes to having a random fan buying him a drink. Either way, that day would probably go down in history for you as 'The day Park Gunwook let me get him a birthday gift, and all I got was a café order'. He turned around, tilting his head to look at the menu hanging inside the coffee shop. The whole interior was covered with his pictures, playing songs both from Zerobaseone and Boys Planet on the background, not to mention the bear plushies scattered through the tables. You wondered how he would feel looking at those, whether he'd be amused positively or negatively. To your relief, he once again chuckled to himself before finally paying attention to the menu. "Ohh, they do have iced chocolate, and also some iced teas..."
Gunwook seemed very invested in his own decisions, so you ended up also getting caught up on the many choices of the menu. While he did enjoy chocolate drinks, you weren't sure if this random information from an old reality show would still be his number one. Maybe he changed for iced teas, as he said so himself? Most importantly, what should you get for yourself. Truly, there is a lot to choose from those drinks. You glanced over to him once more, who still seemed a bit hooked up in the whole decision-making process, until he also faced you, and slightly raised his eyebrows as he noticed you had been looking at him.
"I guess I'll go for the chocolate frappe, you?" He pointed the menu with his head once more.
"I'll have a mango iced tea." You replied, going inside the store. You walked over the counter, looking over to the menu one last time before placing your orders.
As you took your card out of your wallet to pay, an arm extended over your shoulders and gently tapped their credit card over the machine, leaving you dumbfounded. Turning around, you noticed Gunwook once again stood behind you, this time looking down on you with what clearly was a smile, although his mouth was covered by his mask.
The cashier clearly took a double glance at the man behind you, seemingly in the same position you had found yourself earlier, but as he was accompanied by you she simply brushed it off and promptly began making both of your drinks.
"Even though it's my birthday," He whispered it to you as you both walked over to the waiting area. "I felt thankful for your message, so I couldn't let you pay for it."
"But-" You looked up to him again, somehow guilty that he had paid for your drink. Being bought a drink by your favorite idol felt like something you had to save a city for, according to most fans, and yet... The simple act of wishing him happy birthday was enough for him to feel indebted to you. Gunwook was looking over the counter, so he did not notice how you gazed upon him, feeling extremely glad that the person you already looked up to only seemed to be nicer than you already thought he was.
"Thank you." You finally said, smiling with a nod. Words couldn't, and would never be enough for you to express how happy you were at that moment. As he nodded back, you looked around for a second, only for realization to hit upon you over a small detail you had overlooked for way too long at that point. "How... How are you drinking this?"
"Huh?" He looked back at you. He scratched his neck as he frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Like... To take your mask off." You whispered the last part, trying to not sound suspicious, but clearly looking like it.
"Ah. I didn't think about that part."
You blinked at him, biting your lower lip as you tried your very best to not laugh at his reaction. He stared at the floor with his eyes slightly widened, possibly realizing that most, if not all of his actions so far could get him in huge trouble. After all, he was still in a famous K-Pop group, his face being recognized by many in less than a second. If he were to take his mask off, what would people do if they knew the one and only Park Gunwook was at his birthday cafe, buying drinks for his fans? You only heard stories online, but you were sure that a very chaotic scenario would come true.
"Wait- There's an alley right beside the cafe, no?" He quickly turned around to you, somehow expecting you to be familiar with the area. "I doubt anyone would go there so early in the day."
He walked over to the counter and grabbed both your drink and his and signed for you to follow him outside. You rushed to open the door for him, such that he had the drinks, and he bowed as he headed towards the hidden spot. Although you were following him, all you could think was if he wanted you to stay with him or not at that moment.
Luckily, the alley had a small brick fence where you could sit. He sat down and placed the drinks beside him, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head back. You were still standing up, unsure of where to go, when he finally removed both his cap and mask off. As he shook his head to fix his hair, you took the opportunity to fully take in how he looked in person. You had been to a few events before, but never stood closer than 10 meters or so from him, only when quickly rushing past him in a Hi-Touch a few months back. That was finally the moment you had to simply gaze - to notice the small details that Gunwook's photos could never fully grasp. It was unbelievable, and yet the realest version you had ever seen of him. He looked up and smiled, tapping on the spot next to your drink for you sit down. You quickly did so, still staring at him.
"You still seem a bit shocked." He laughed, covering his face with his drink in embarrassment. "Well- I guess I would feel the same if I saw someone I'm a fan of."
You giggled, tapping your fingers against the plastic cup as you looked down. "Yeah, I mean... It's pretty shocking to see you up-close."
"Is it?" He tilted an eyebrow, looking a bit closer at you. You felt your heart skipping a beat as he did so, your senses breaking down as he stared at you. "Haven't you gone to some sort of fan meeting before...? You look familiar."
"F-From the Hi-Touch?!" You tired to not scream your question out loud. How could he possibly remember your face? You barely had a second to even look at his own face, much less likely he had the time to look at yours.
"No wait. From the Zerose Selca Day, maybe...?" He still looked at you, clearly making an effort to remember where he could have possibly seen you. "Was it you wearing a- Like... A football jersey?"
You frowned your own eyebrows. A football jersey... You tried to make up your mind, when clarity finally hit and your memory chose to work for once. "Oh, right! I did wear that for the Selca Day."
You opened your phone and quickly went to Twitter, scrolling through your own posts to find the picture. You had posted that at the end of the past month, choosing to replicate one of Gunwook's photos where he wore a jersey for the Music Bank. You did get a fairly decent amount of likes, but the last people you would expect to have seen it would have been the Zerobaseone members. You opened the post, showing your phone to Gunwook, who nodded happily at your phone, still having the drink's straw in his mouth.
"Yes! That one! I remembered it because I liked your shirt." He zoomed the picture onto it. "Is this from another country? I don't recognize the team."
"It is!" You were happy to have found something the two of you could have some sort of interest in. Park Gunwook praising your shirt... You would definitely start wearing that jersey more often. You smiled at him as he began chatting a bit about football, even though he didn't know much about your team.
"I didn't know you had Twitter." You took another sip of your drink, leaning back as you slowly got more comfortable around him. Perhaps the first shock was slowly brushing off as you no longer treated him as an idol through that conversation, but as someone you casually met at a cafe by coincidence.
"Not an official one, but I like keeping up with what's going on." And fortunately, he seemed as comfortable as you are. Chuckling, talking about his like, careless. It was ever so refreshing to watch someone you appreciated (loved, even) be able to have a break. Of course you wouldn't say that to him, otherwise this non-existing awkwardness might've just been waiting for a commentary like such to take over both of you. "By the way, your display name... Is it your real one?"
"That is my actual name, yeah." You leaned onto the cafe's pole next to you, placing your knee over the wall you sat. Gunwook switched his position to face you almost automatically, giving you some space to adjust your legs. Such small details made him look even cooler than he already was to you. He nodded at your statement, mumbling to himself your name once more to get it right. "Oh!"
He was taking a sip, but quickly raised his head at your gasp, lifting an eyebrow in confusion.
"I-I Just realized I haven't told you my name yet." You chuckled in embarrassment, but seeing that Gunwook did the same soothed your emotions.
"I suppose I know it now." He covered his mouth as he laughed, so you watched his eyes' lines form as he smiled. He moved his hand down as he continued to smile at you, sighing a bit to recover his breath. "Well- I suppose I should introduce myself too. Zerobaseone's Park Gunwook."
"I think I already knew that." You joked, yet couldn't ignore how your heart begun to race once more as he finally introduced himself as Park Gunwook. There was no denial anymore that this was him, and not coincidentally a man who happened to look like him, and have the same birthdate - as if you had any doubts at that point. "Are you celebrating your birthday by coming here?"
He shook his head, tapping his finger over the straw's tip. "I'll do a livestream later and... I suppose I can count on one of the members cooking up something nice. But right now I chose to come here to see the messages and all that, it did surprise me you were here so early."
"Oh, I guess I was curious too."
It did sound a bit strange to have someone equally as excited, if not more, for one's birthday. You noticed how he had quite simple plans for the day, not an extravagant party of anything of the sorts - so perhaps you being eager to celebrate his special day wasn't too bad on his eyes. He nodded at you once more, peeking to the alley to see if anyone else had arrived. A few people had begun to queue to the cafe, bringing in more notes and flowers. Some even had large, glowing signs with his name written on it, much like the ones that would be brought to a concert.
"Those look nice." He commentated, still focused on trying to watch the fans. "I like the one with the bear drawn on it."
"Do you want to go there?" You followed his head, looking at the fans alongside him. "They'd be happy."
He looked down at you, his expression being somewhat disappointed. "They would but... I would be in trouble."
Even though he didn't develop much on what he meant by 'trouble', you could assume this was related to WakeOne's rules - or worse even, to Sasaengs. Watching some people carry heavy cameras inside the cafe and pushing other fans was truly disheartening, and you could tell you weren't the only one when you turned around to Gunwook once more. He was biting his lower lip, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to look at their faces.
"That- That really sucks." You weren't too sure of what to say to him right now. "I wish you could enjoy it with them."
"It's hard to do that nowadays, specially when-" As he was about to speak, he heard two voices getting louder and approaching them. The sound of boots on the floor also echoed through the alley.
Before you knew, the two of you rushed to the other end of the alley, trying to find another spot to hide. Gunwook mindlessly grabbed your hand as he jumped out of the wall to run. Finally, a public bathroom had its door open and the two of you snuck in and locked the door behind you. You were catching your breath as you looked up to him, who seemed equally tired as you. The bathroom, thankfully, wasn't too dirty or smelling badly, as it seemed to be from some sort of commerce nearby. He finally looked around, laughing nervously as he scratched the back of his neck.
"It was quite unexpected, wasn't it..?" You nodded with a laugh, still trying to make words of your own. "I didn't even notice I dragged you here, that's my bad."
"Don't.... Don't worry about it." You leaned onto the metal rails, looking around the room. When your eyes went back to him, you noticed he had been staring at you, perhaps trying to see how you were reacting to the whole thing. You smiled gently before scrunching your eyebrows, figuring it was time to address the elephant in the room (and no, it was not the worldwide idol standing across from you). "How are we planning to get out of here, though?"
Gunwook's brain seemed to have stopped working for what felt like an eternity, as his focus switched to whatever stain was on the floor's tile. He blinked slowly once, then twice, until finally taking a long breath as he pressed his forehead. "That's a really good question. Like- A really, really good one."
Long story short, neither of you had a single clue how you could leave that place. There were a few scenarios playing out in your head: in one, you two rush out of the bathroom only for some fans to spot you. Outcome? You two get in serious trouble. In another, you stayed there until the store closed - which didn't seem too bad, until you realized it was barely half past two P.M. and the store would only close at 6. Finally, the vents inside the bathroom started looking like a possibility-
"Uh... So, if we wait." Gunwook spoke out, making you drift away from your thoughts. "That would be... 3 and a half hours? If I make it back to the dorm until 7 P.M I should be fine..."
You stared at him in disbelief, how could he think so calmly of the situation he was imagining? "You- Thats five and a half hours. Won't you get bored? Or... Tired? Standing for so long is exhausting."
He glanced at the floor, and then at the toilet seat, and once more to you. As if you had perfectly understood his question, your eyes followed the same path as his as you observed the floor. Luckily you were wearing a jacket at that moment, otherwise your senses would've never allowed you to do such thing as you reluctantly took it off and placed it on the floor, sitting on top of it. Gunwook took his black hoodie off as well, seating beside you.
You didn't realize it until you were clearly staring at it in complete silence, and Gunwook stayed quiet too. You noticed he had been wearing a white t-shirt underneath this entire time, sticking against his torso like glue. It was defined, almost sculpted. His arms also stood out, with the sleeves seeming too fragile if he were to do any movement. It was a nice outfit indeed, given he had chosen the white-shirt-baggy-jeans combo, rather popular those days.
"Are you okay? You've been quiet for a bit now." His voice startled you, making your eyes meet his. As Gunwook noticed your surprised expression, he burst out laughing. "I guess you zoned out, huh?"
"Sort... Sort of." You glanced away, faking a laugh to hide your shame of staring at him for so long. You simply couldn't help it - Even if you were to be stuck inside a public bathroom with Gunwook for 5 hours straight, there was no way you could possibly get used to looking at him so casually and closely. Although... It seemed he was looking at you before you were looking at him. You leaned back onto the wall, playing around with your jacket's sleeves as you finally took a closer look to the expensive-looking hoodie of his thrown on the floor. "Your hoodie looks cool."
"Oh, thanks!" He seemed rather shy when you complimented his clothes, raising his hand towards his chest and drawing against his collarbone. "It's uh... I think from Moschino? Yeah, probably. But- Your shirt also looks cool, I like the drawing."
You looked down to your shirt, as if to remind yourself of what you were even wearing, before smiling at nodding as in a way of thanking him. As you crossed one leg over another, you leaned your chin onto your wrist while checking the time on your phone. Your friends had texted you countless of times, asking where you were and when you'd be meeting them. Looking over to Gunwook, who seemingly had the same realization as he checked his own phone, you simply turned your screen off once more - this situation was too complicated for you to explain yourself.
"Ricky just texted me that he woke up, wishing me happy birthday." He chuckled to himself as he turned his phone facing downwards. You took a moment to remember that he did text the members casually, and they were as real and reachable as him. You laughed alongside Gunwook, as if you were also getting texts from Ricky every now and then when he woke up later than usual.
"I guess this isn't the most exciting way to be spending your birthday." You said it to yourself, feeling somewhat bad he was stuck in this situation with you. Gunwook could be your idol, but to him you were a person he had met a little longer than an hour ago and likely not the person he had in mind to be with for his special day.
To your surprise, he shook his head, being somewhat shocked at your comment.
"Why would you think that? It's quite fun." He fixed his hair, smiling at you. "It was... Refreshing to talk so casually to a stranger, specially after leaving Boys Planet. Even though I wasn't really supposed to, I'm glad I struck up a conversation with you."
And somehow, the worn out tiles and the grey jacket you were wearing all of a sudden felt like what nirvana probably meant by definition. You nodded, taking in what he had said, taking in how he wanted to talk to you. You bit your lip with a smile, before looking back at him. "I'm glad you found me interesting enough. I... I probably would've been too shy to talk to you, but I guess you could assume that already."
He shrugged with a chuckle, placing down his hand dangerously close to yours. You could sense it, although not looking to your own. Oddly enough, you thought there was some sort of tension between the two of you. Not such a remarkable thought, given that you'd definitely imagine things around him. But the way Gunwook looked at you... You surely hoped he wouldn't give that sort of glance so casually, for it would break many hearts.
"What could we do now?" He stretched himself, letting a deep sigh out as he slowly lowered his arms. "These hours won't go by so quickly if we do nothing."
"Maybe a game or something?" You suggested, and you saw how his eyes seemed to sparkle at hearing the word 'game'. He nodded excitedly, and so you immediately began thinking of one to play.
"How about Cham Cham Cham?" Gunwook said, almost laughing at himself. "I'm somewhat of a professional."
You giggled at his suggestion, but immediately turned your body around to face him, leaning your body forward as you playfully smirked at him. "I'm down. Best of three?"
The two of you quickly did a round of rock-paper-scissors, to which you came out as a winner. Gunwook clenched his fist with a chuckle, but quickly focuses himself on the game. You could tell how immersed he was, given his smile had faded into a rather serious look.
"Cham, Cham..." Counting it down, the decision of which side to point had to be done soon. "Cham!"
You pointed to the left, and Gunwook faced it right. Perhaps you did it too slow. Regardless, it was his turn now.
"Cham, Cham, Cham!" He did not hesitate, so you barely had a moment to think as you turned your face right. Luckily, he had pointed left.
"It's one-one." You tilted your head slightly, trying not to laugh at how serious the environment was. "Cham, Cham, Cham!"
As you pointed left, you saw his head turning the same direction. As soon as Gunwook noticed, he protested by rolling his eyes and hitting his back against the wall.
"Too fast for me." He complained as he moved his hair away from his forehead, squishing his eyes in. You blinked, suddenly forgetting the rules of the game - and yet almost jumping out of your seat as soon as you remembered.
"S-Should I hit you?" You asked reluctantly, noticing how he opened one of his eyes in confusion. "It feels wrong-"
Gunwook held your hand, approaching it from his forehead. You lost balance and leaned slightly over him, in shock of his actions. As if you didn't have enough surprises that day, Park Gunwook somehow got even closer to you, dangerously close even. A feeling of prohibition flushed through your body and took over your senses while you felt your cheeks burning. Certainly you shouldn't be having such sentiments, but nothing could ever make you stop having them.
"Just because you're my fan, doesn't mean rules shouldn't apply to me." He was being very serious with his statement. He kept looking at you, patiently waiting for his loser's punishment. Was Gunwook that competitive off camera? Nonetheless you gave him a very light nibble on his forehead, immediately moving your hand away to check for bruises.
"Sorry."
He raised an eyebrow as he heard your mumbling, seemingly surprised at your apology. There wasn't a real need for you to apologize to him, since it was the rule and you did win after all. You simply felt like you had to, because hurting him would probably feel like the end of the world for you.
"You're too kind." He fixed his hair, brushing his fingers against the spot you hit on his forehead. No matter how many times you had seen him smiling today, it would take you an eternity to get used to how it sped up your heartbeat.
It felt conflicting to have Park Gunwook making your heart race like that. On one hand, you understood how it felt whenever you saw him at concerts, videos, fansigns, et cetera. Of course your heartbeat echoed through your body with such adrenaline of seeing him at his most perfect state during staged events - and yet, this emotion flooding your senses right now differed from it. Being attracted to an idol is not unusual, unless he is face to face with you and stuck in a small room. You couldn't deny that, from your side, there was a romantic feeling hanging in the air. The way he was making you laugh that day went beyond him as an idol, but the human and raw version of him starstruck you even more and you craved for it deeply.
A crave that would never be fulfilled, right? Because at the end of the day, Gunwook has his own life, miles away from yours. Even though you could see him again in real life, what would be the odds of such an intimate moment being granted to you like this again? If you were to see him again after today, you would hardly be able to look at him as simply a Bias from a group you enjoy listening to.
"I think I still need to get used to being around you." You finally replied to him with a giggle. "It's very nerve-racking to be sitting next to a famous artist. And to hit his forehead? Feels almost illegal."
He looked at you in silence for a moment, possibly taking in what you had just said. His pout gave away how much he was considering it, and it was painfully adorable to you. "But- Even if I'm a celebrity and all that, living as one 24/7 is impossible. Like... Right now, I'm just a guy who lost in Cham Cham Cham."
You nodded, laughing at his final remark. Gunwook smiled as he heard your laughter, and continued to speak.
"What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to set yourself as many boundaries, I'm not working right now am I?"
"Off-duty Park Gunwook..." You said it to yourself with a smile. Seeing an artist outside of working hours did sound better than catching a celebrity on the street. "I'd say you're as cool as you are while working."
His cheeks became rosy as he chuckled, playing with his hair as he leaned against the tiles. Watching him being flustered surely drove you up a wall, a wall that you had begun climbing the moment you bumped into him by accident. Gunwook continued staring at you, with that gaze one has when they have something to say yet have forgotten all words. You tried your best not to break eye contact and make it even more tense, simply awaiting for him to speak.
"You're also cool." He finally spoke, sounding much softer and timid than before. You nodded as you tried hiding how your face had now also reddened to a strange color, sliding your hands from your knees to the floor to gain some support to your spinning conscious. As they touched the cold, smooth flooring, you noticed your right hand bumping onto something, which just happened to be Gunwook's hand.
He did not move his hand away, so neither did you.
Why did he not move away? Eons passed in silence before you felt him placing a finger over yours, as if he was trying to reach for you.
"Hey-" Gunwook turned around to face you, and you could tell how his voice faltered due to nervousness. "Whatever happened today... Will stay only between us, right? No- Nothing would go on social media or anything?"
"N-No." You immediately shook your head. The thought of violating his privacy sickened you from the moments you first saw leaked pictures from Sasaengs surfacing through your timeline. To have such closure with an idol, only to abuse of it for your desires was disgusting. "I would never do this to you."
"Then... Considering that I am your favorite member, if I recall your letter correctly."
Before you even knew, his hand was fully over yours. You could feel his eyes piercing through you as your heartbeat echoed through your ears and trailed down to your neck. Your stomach felt empty, but at the same time as full as it could ever be - whatever Gunwook was about to say, you surely weren't prepared for it as much as you tried to guess his words.
"I'm just wondering if you're staring at me like this because you're my fan or because you want to kiss me."
It was like every single one of your thoughts just collapsed altogether and turned into dust in your brain. It wasn't like you were hiding (not like you could either), but you just hoped he would overlook it like any other idol. Most of them can probably tell that fans end up desiring them romantically at some points - but it's only fair that they ignore it all. Having him ask you so directly, without missing a beat or stuttering over his words like he was doing so seconds ago, was unanticipated.
You knew your mouth was gaping as you stared at him in silence, but that was most definitely not the time to be rethinking choices or whatever. And, all in all, even if it turned out for the worst at least you wouldn't be seeing him again. "...Both."
"Both?"
"Maybe a little more because I want to kiss you right now."
You continued staring at Gunwook, who now looked down and nodded as he assimilated your words. Once he looked up, he gently placed a hand on your cheek and prompted for you to move closer, to which you complied and awkwardly shuffled yourself to sit directly in front of him. You could feel his warm breathing over your face, and it was nearly surreal to think that you could ever be this close with him. You began noticing all the small details you could maybe see in some photos, but didn't realize how perfectly they suited him until it was directly staring at you.
You couldn't explain how or why all of this was happening, but thinking seemed too much of a burden to do at that point. You simply closed your eyes and let yourself drown in the present.
And so his lips touched yours. He was human, like any other person you could've ever kissed; but you felt poisoned by how great it felt. What started off as small pecks and soft bites slowly escalated as you parted your lips and let him inside. Gunwook clearly knew what he was doing, it felt so addicting that part of you couldn't help but wonder if you were dazzled by kissing him or if he was truly that good of a kisser.
He held your cheeks ever so gently, sliding it down to your neck while you placed your hand on his shoulder to lean closer to him. Before either of you knew, you stumbled and fell over him - to which he responded by holding your tights to allow you to sit on his lap. You felt your jeans against his as you pressed yourself onto his chest. His heart raced as much as yours did, almost a synchronized rush.
Once you both parted to recover your breath, you watched Gunwook gasp hastily with a sly smile. Your chest rose up and down as the current situation you were in slowly downed on you. It felt quick, yet you could perfectly describe every single sensation and touch that had just occurred and just the recent memory already made you smile from ear to ear. It still felt unbelievable that the sensation of his lips was now known to you, that you could picture how it felt, tasted, sounded. And it was heavenly.
But he was far from done, so far that you barely had time to blink before he once more wrapped his hand around your neck and pulled you towards him. It caught you much more off-guard than the first one, such that a new confidence had just sparked on him. It felt more passionate, more needy as it progressed. You could feel his free hand caressing your thigh, trailing up to your back and causing for you to shiver. An unforeseen flow of adrenaline through your body caused for you to desperately hold back a moan when his hand finally reached your waist, and he moved his lips towards your neck.
But your efforts were in vain. A sharp whimper escaped from you as you rolled your eyes back - and you could tell Gunwook was interested in this reaction. He stopped kissing you and readjusted you on his lap in order for your gazes to be locked. Gunwook tilted his head to the side and bit his lower lip, staring at you up and down. You were somewhat of ashamed, however the way he'd stare at you only made you wish that you were even more embarrassing.
"You sound nice." He chuckled, playing with your hair as he fixed its messiness. "I like it."
You giggled as you looked at him, reaching for his hand and helping him to brush. "Thank you-"
"I want to hear it again. May I?"
And just when you thought you were getting used to his words, your world came crashing down once more. You had lost all your thinking ability to formulate a response that would either make sense or not humiliate you. Helpless, you nodded eagerly as you approached him once more. It's a rare phenomenon to get yourself addicted on your first experience, yet you could feel the withdraw symptoms only from being a few seconds apart from Gunwook. Finally, you were able to whisper on his ear. "Yes, please."
Gunwook nodded, glancing down to his jeans for a while. You followed his eyes and looked down, reaching for his body with your hands. You knew what it was, you could see it after all. You left a kiss on his neck and massaged it, watching his head going back with a heavy sigh. Your other hand rested over his collarbone, and suddenly his shirt seemed very thin. He noticed how your mind had wandered over further from his lips, and promptly removed his shirt.
"Oh." Your voice had once again betrayed you by revealing your feelings, but could it be helped? His shoulders were broad, leading to his defined chest and thin waist. He laughed at your reaction, clearly enjoying the attention you were giving him. You began toying with your own shirt, pondering if he wanted to see you as well. And he did - such that he sneaked his hand underneath it, raising his eyebrows as if he was waiting for you. Surely enough, your shirt had been thrown in a random corner in no time.
He stared at you, smiling. And how you loved that smiled he had on his face when he was looking at you. He cupped your breasts, fondling them as you kissed his lips once more softly. It was probably selfish to ask for more, but your senses were desperate to have his all - to be his, even if just for a minute. You moved your hands down to his belt, holding it as you continued making out. Without parting ways with your mouth, he moved his own hands down and removed his belt. He left it beside the two of you, and unbuttoned his pants. You looked down, having your fingers ravering dangerously close to a place that no one - at least that you had knowledge of - had ever gotten to.
Your mind no longer had to trail far to ever think of such things, for that it was a mere inch away from you. Whatever thought you could ever possibly have had of Gunwook in this scenario was closer to reality, closer to truly being your own memory. You had never done this before, so how would you know if it's pleasing him? You couldn't possibly disappoint him at this point.
"Gunwook..." You whispered to him hesitantly. "It's my first time. What if I'm not good?"
He chuckled at you, patting your head sweetly and reassuringly. "Do you think I've done this before? You're also going to be my first."
At that point, whatever Gunwook did or said was a first. You blinked at him somewhat dumbfounded. How was he so calm even though he never did anything like that before? Let alone with a fan he had met not so long ago. Regardless, it was now or never.
Trying to make your hands as steady as possible, you snuck into his boxers and wrapped your fingers around his dick. Gunwook flinched, but still looked at you as if he was holding himself back not to beg you to keep going. You began stroking it slowly in order to figure out his pace, and once you began picking up speed you could notice how excited he had gotten by the way his breathing got heavy.
He adjusted himself and slid his boxers down, letting his penis hit against his chest as you now had a full vision. He was sweaty, sitting on top of his hoodie as he had his hands gripping it, looking up to you as you were on your knees. His hair was now glued to his forehead with his blushing cheeks. His shirt was gone and his pants a little above his knee, and of course - your hand was curled up around his member, still jerking him off.
This view made him look miserable on one side, but on the other... How beautiful it was.
You kept going, lowering yourself down until your mouth lingered just above his tip. You thought you'd raise his expectations a bit before going through, and he did not disappoint. A whiny moan came from him, and he was frowning his eyebrows when you looked up.
"Do you want me to do it?" You chuckled, still continuing your hand job on him. Gunwook placed the palm of his hand over your head, as if to indicate it was way past due time for you to begin. But that still didn't give quite the answer you wanted, since you wanted to tease him a bit more. "Yes or no, Gunwook?"
However, your plans backfired as soon as he pressured your head onto his dick and left you with no other choice. Not that you'd complain about it. Trying to adjust yourself, you were very gentle as you began sucking him to not hurt him in any way. His moans began getting louder as his hand traveled down your head to your spine, as if Gunwook was silently pleading for you to stay there.
His sighs began more constant as he tried to formulate a sentence. "You're so... So good..."
You could feel your jeans pressing against the middle of your thighs as he praised you, clenching one of them with your hand as you continued giving him a blowjob. Hearing Gunwook boost your confidence made you feel more pleasure in the act, such that your clenched hand slowly started to move closer to your pants' button. He noticed as he watched your every move from above, and before you knew his hand had reached for yours and unbuttoned it. As his fingers were slowly sliding in, he let out another moan.
"I'm... I'm about to-"
And thus, your mouth had been filled with his cum. You looked up to swallow it whole, letting a bit drop from the edge of your mouth. Gunwook cleaned it for you as he let you lie your head on his chest.You could feel it rise up and down as his heart beat faster than ever, still smiling at you. He laid a hand on your head and played with your hair as you traced his abs.
"I noticed what you were about to do." He finally spoke, glancing down. "Should I do it for you?"
You jolted up in shock, somewhat a bit flustered. It felt natural amidst the act, but now as he spoke so naturally you couldn't help but feel taken aback. "I- Sure, yeah. Whatever you want."
"...Whatever I want?"
He grinned, glancing over to his belt. He pulled it closer to him from one end, examining the leather. You bit your lips, curious of what he would do next although having a vague idea. Surely enough, he held your wrists together and wrapped the belt around them. Gunwook looked at you with a raised eyebrow, to which you nodded in approval. He then tightened the belt, leaving your hands over your head. It wouldn't be an easy task to untie yourself, but you didn't want to anyways.
You laid down, staring up at him. He spread your legs and slid down your jeans to take them off, and left your lingerie onto your ankles. Gunwook raised you up to his lap, setting you to be inches away from his penis. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slid his fingers into you, massaging your clit gently. He chuckled to himself as he whispered. "You're so wet."
Seeing him having control over you felt sensational. Your hands were still, you didn't want to feel like you had the power to do anything - you wanted to depend on every single one of his actions and eagerly wait for his next move, and yet your fingers reached for one another as you tried to contain your own whines. Your feelings were lewd, something so lustful words could not suffice how hungry for passion you were but simply having him penetrate you met your needs.
You moaned quietly, almost synchronized with Gunwook's deep, quick breaths. His hand gripped your thighs, pulling you even closer and sitting you onto his lap. He held his member, stuffing it into you. What was once quiet and soft became loud and intense, for that you could no longer control your own instincts. You bounced up and down, feeling your boobs jiggle and rub against his chest. Your tied hands were now wrapped around his neck as you hugged him, burying your face onto his collarbone. You raised your head slightly, choosing to give him a hickey.
He was clearly taken aback, such that he let out an abrupt sigh, yet did not tell you to stop. As your teeth dug deeper, you heard him whimpering while still thrusting inside your vagina. You could feel your legs weakening as the feeling became stronger and turned you on even more. You were getting close to your own orgasm. You decided to lift your head and look into his eyes. He was sweaty, with a red hickey standing out from his skin, and his face was still as flawless as ever. That man was no different from the perfect image you had curated in your mind; it might as well be even better.
At last, you felt the adrenaline rush through your body. You groaned as your mouth wouldn't stop letting out shaky moans, slowing down the pace. "Shit, Gunwook... I- I came-"
"I know." He replied in a husky tone, gasping for air before continuing. "Let's... Let's slow down..."
Once you were both sitting facing one another, the two of you couldn't help but smile. Gunwook started giggling, and so did you.
"Let me help you clean up." You tried standing up and reaching for the sink, but your legs were wobbly. He quickly rose and stood behind you, trying to help you maintain balance. You looked up to the mirror in front of you, gazing upon the mess the two of you currently were. You touched your own face in realization, as if you had finally understood what had just happened. Gunwook wrapped his arms around you, still joyful as he opened the tap water.
"Don't worry about it." He washed his hands, and held your to wash it as well. "You're probably tired."
You nodded, looking to your hands with a smile. He remained as gentle as ever, even after everything the two of you had just gone through. Your naked bodies felt familiar, and you didn't mind such closure. Once the two of you were reasonably clean, you crawled back onto your clothes, dusting them off out of instinct. You finally got your phone to look at the time. It was awfully close to the agreed time to leave, and you bit your lip rather disappointed. You weren't quite ready to let this go, somewhat already wishing for a next time.
"Gunwook." You looked up to him as he faced his back to you, fixing his hair on the mirror. He hummed in response, which made you melt once more. "Will I... See you again, ever?"
He stopped tangling his fingers through his hair, pondering over your question. After some time, he turned around and took his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled a bit and, a few taps later, had an Instagram account on his screen. It had a little less than 50 followers, no profile picture, and an unusual username.
"I can trust you with it, right? I mean, I'll look forward to seeing you- Hopefully not in a bathroom next time."
The two of you chuckled once more, and the sudden realization came that Park Gunwook, not the idol but the off-duty one, had the hell of a contagious smile.