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Several weeks had passed since Leonora shared one of her drawings with Clarissa. She promised herself she would show her all the drawings she had drawn of her over the years soon, but she didn’t seem to find the right moment. At the end she maybe didn’t do it at the right situation, or maybe she did.
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“Clarissa, I’m sorry” Leonora said with a breath, entering their chamber and closing the door behind her.
“It’s okay dear, I don’t even know why you are asking for forgiveness” Clarissa answered with her fairy godmother tone.
Leonora hated it when she did that, she was treating her like the rest of the people when they disappointed her.
“I got distracted with some of the nevers and all the work” Leonora said desperately trying get Clarissa’s eyes to meet hers.
“I know love, you had stuff to do. We can move the date to another day” Clarissa answered, still not looking at Leonora.
Seeing she wasn’t goanna come around, Leonora stopped talking and gave her some space. She made her way to their couch, and stretching her bad leg she left out a sigh. It was their anniversary today; Clarissa had planned a beautiful dinner in the gardens. There were flowers everywhere and fairy lights that illuminated the path to their table. She saw it all in the distance, as well as the sight of Clarissa making her way back to her chambers. She felt awful, if it was anyone else Leonora wouldn’t have care, her time was more important after all, but it was her Dove.
Passing beside her like a ghost, Clarissa walked to the kitchen. Leonora saw the red liquid falling into her glass, and she sighed again.
“Say something to me love” Leonora let out, getting up and walking towards Clarissa.
Clarissa was silent, she took another chug of wine. Rolling her eyes, Leonora grabbed the bottle of wine and put it far away from her.
“I already told you that I understand, its okay” Clarissa let out, this time meeting Leonoras green eyes.
“Why wont you admit that you are mad?” Leonora asked, her eyes squinting slightly as if trying to decode her lover.
Clarissa let out a sigh “Because I’m not, I’m tired Leonora I’m going to sleep” she said while walking out.
“That’s bullshit, say what you want to say! I promised you I have heard worse things in my life” Leonora said, her voice cracking from anger.
“For storians sake, yes Leonora im mad! I’m mad because I planned this for a week now and you knew. I’m mad that I always end up giving too much to people, but I’m mad that I don’t care with you because I will waste all of my time for you, and that’s something that scares me. Because right now I feel as I am the one that’s always thinking about you since the day we met.”
Clarissa’s eyes were filled with unshed tears as she watched Leonoras rigid body. Suddenly Leonora walked out of the conversation. Clarissa’s face dropped, and she couldn’t hold her tears anymore. She made her way to the sofa and putting her hands on her face she silently cried.
A few minutes when by when she felt cold hands gently moving her hands off her eyes. Leonora was kneeling in front of Clarissa, two journals beside her.
“You think you’re the only one that has thought of the other since the first time we met, but it’s not true. Remember when I showed you that drawing, I did of you?
“Yes” Clarissa mumbled.
“Well love, that was not the first drawing. I’ve been drawing you since our first meeting. You were talking about how honored you were for being elected as a dean, and I got a little bored half your speech. I could have drawn anything in that room, but the only thing that caught my eye was you” Leonora said, while opening one of the journals and showing the image of dovey talking in the meeting. Every detail was there. The dress she was wearing that day, her curls, her expression.
“After that, I felt out of place, like I had done something wrong, and not the kind of wrong I was used to. But I couldn’t help it, every chanced I got I drew you.” Leonora said while passing the journals to dovey.
As it was glass, Clarissa passed every yellow page carefully. There was dovey smelling a rose in the gardens, smiling while having tea with Emma, applauding the ever boys, sleeping on her desk in their shared office. She couldn’t believe it; every detail of the moment was drawn.
Leonora waited in silence for Clarissa to finish looking at every page of the journals. From time to time, she could see kind of a smile forming on her lovers lips, but her eyes were still terribly sad. Closing the second journal, Clarissa’s eyes met Leonora’s who was still kneeling in front of her even though her leg had been acting up that day.
“Why didn’t you show me this when we started dating?” Clarissa asked, her voice trembling.
“I- I really don’t know; it was hard for me to opened up at the beginning. Being vulnerable to you was something difficult for me. Its still is” Leonora confessed, feeling ashamed.
“But I need you to understand that I am changing for you, because I know the type of love you deserve, and I don’t want to ever see you go away to look for it. Please let me make this up to you” Leonora almost whispered that last sentence, her eyes drifting down to Dovey's hands.
Gently, Clarissa raised Leonora’s face so her eyes could meet.
“You are the type of love I have looked for, and the only one I will always want. I’m sorry I didn’t think you felt the same way as me, I just get insecure sometimes. I believe that someday you will regret ever doing this, being with me, risking your reputation for me. That’s why I feel the need to always do things for you, and obviously I do them because I’m madly in love with you but, there’s that fear in there too” Clarissa let out, tear rolling down her cheeks.
Leonora looked at her in disbelief and getting up she sat next to her. She quickly put her hand on Clarissa’s head, gently pushing her to her chest and wrapping her arms around her. Leonora rested her head on top of Clarissa’s and closed her eyes.
“My love, my sweet dove. I will never regret the decision of choosing you and loving you. My reputation was the center of my life because I hated myself and my past, but I don’t care about that anymore. I haven’t cared about that since the first time we kissed. I don’t want that thought of me leaving you or regretting this in your mind, okay? You saved me from myself Clarissa.” Leonora said, kissing her lover’s head and wiping a tear from her face.
“I think we saved each other” Clarissa whispered against Leonoras chest.
“Yeah, I think we did” Leonora said with a chuckle.
She delicately pushed Dovey to face her, holding her face she caressed one of her cheeks. Dovey closed her eyes and gave in to the touch. With eyes of admiration, Leonora closed the distance with a kiss. It was an “I’m sorry kiss” an “you are the most important thing to me kiss”.
“I think I saw my favorite flower on that garden dinner, what do you say? Want to go and have a midnight date?” Leonora offered Clarissa with a smirk.
“I think I would like that” Clarissa said laughing.
Helping Leonora to get up, they made their way to the garden. They talk, kissed and dance the night away with their minds at ease.