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Fowler acted as if Mizu wasn’t even there, despite the death grip he had his arm in, a wordless threat of what he would do if his loose tongue slipped just a little too far. The innkeeper he was speaking to kept shooting Mizu nervous glances - he met them with a glare.
It would be the perfect opportunity for Fowler to alert someone to his situation, and Mizu would prefer not to have their door kicked down by the sheriff in the middle of the night. He wouldn't give his captive the chance to forget just what would happen if he sold him out.
He wasn’t ready to let his guard down when the innkeeper dropped the key to their room in Fowler’s palm, and his green eyes locked with Mizu’s, tossing his chin towards the staircase leading up to the second floor. “Are you coming, my dear, or do you plan to stick around and continue scarin’ the poor innkeep out of his wits?”
Mizu shot a last glare at the man behind the desk, before tugging at Fowler’s sleeve. “Don’t call me that.”
The floorboards creaked and groaned beneath their feet as they made their way through the corridor, the usual crooked, western construction, too narrow for them to walk side by side. Mizu didn’t let go as Fowler unlocked the door and gestured him inside with a sarcastic bow.
Mizu’s first instinct had been to check if the room was safe, looking for damaged floorboards and studying the windows in case he needed a quick escape route, but as soon as he stepped inside, his focus was pulled towards a much bigger issue.
He turned to Fowler, lips pulled back in a snarl. “Why is there only one bed?”
“There is?” Fowler craned his neck, looking past Mizu to take in the room. There was no way he hadn't noticed as soon as he opened the door. “Well would you look at that. I guess he must’ve assumed we were a couple! I only asked that we’d share a room-”
“Stop talking.” He had asked for that part - he didn’t trust Fowler not to run off if he took the risk of leaving him alone - but to share a bed? The thought made his skin crawl. “You're the only one making assumptions here. These people see me as a man, in case you've forgotten. You planned this, didn’t you?”
Fowler scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning back against the doorframe. “Bold assumption that I’d want to sleep in the same bed as you, but if that makes you feel better, then by all means, blame me. You really like to do that, don’t you?”
“I’m rarely wrong.”
Mizu’s eyes met his, blue against green, keeping him pinned for a long moment, before dipping his head and wordlessly giving him permission to move. “You’re taking the floor.”
Fowler’s eyebrows shot up. “And why should I do that, exactly?”
“Because it’s only fair, seeing how you were the one to get us into this. Besides, I thought any English gentleman would jump at the chance to give up his bed to a lady”, Mizu said, the corner of his mouth tugging into a smile.
“Well, I’m not English, first of all, and second, I see no ladies here - you don’t get to be a lady when it suits you and a man when it doesn’t!” Fowler said, throwing up a hand in exasperation. “Besides, you think a man of my age could sleep on that hard wood floor and move around just fine in the morning?”
“I’ve fought you”, Mizu reminded him. “I’m sure you and your aging joints will survive.”
“Remind me to never bunk up with you once all this is done. Bein’ forced to share a boat with you was torture enough…”
“Once all this is done, you’ll be dead.”
Fowler huffed a laugh. Mizu looked towards him, thinking for a long moment, before an uncomfortable realization clicked in his mind. He would just have to make the decision himself.
“We’re sharing the bed”, Mizu ground out. Something like surprise flashed across Fowler’s face, his eyes widening. “Don’t look at me like that. Since neither of us are going to be the bigger person, I’ll just have to figure out something else. Sit down. You’re sleeping furthest from the door.”
“Well, I don’t know who put you in charge…!”
But despite his complaining, Fowler actually did as he was told and sat down in his spot on the bed. Mizu examined it closer, and had to admit that it was spacious enough that they wouldn’t have to lie pressed against each other. It was a start, but it wasn’t enough.
He took out the rope he’d been keeping around, just in case. “Put your hands on the headboard.”
Fowler looked up, frowning with confusion - then Mizu felt his heart sink as a lecherous smile spread across the white man’s face. “Oh, is that so? Little Miss, I’m flattered, but if that’s what you wanted, why didn’t you just ask instead of going through all this trouble? I’m not known to turn down a pretty thing like you and, hell, I’m usually the one who’s doing the tying, but I’m not opposed to changin’ things up-”
Before he could continue his meaningless rant, Mizu grabbed his hands and forced them above his head, taking advantage of the moment of surprise and not wasting another second before he began to tie his wrists to the headboard.
“Y’know, I could probably tie a better knot than that”, Fowler said, looking up at the rope as Mizu worked. “It’s so tight…”
Mizu tightened it a little further, just for good measure, and was rewarded with a pained hiss. “I couldn’t care less about your comfort. I don’t want to risk you running away, and I don’t want you putting your filthy hands anywhere near me.”
“So you say, my dear, so you say”, Fowler said with a sigh. “It’s always people like you, you know, with the high walls and the stiff upper lip, who are dyin’ to be tied down, themselves, to not be in control for once in their bloody lives, to give that up to someone else. You sure you don’t want to switch places? I could make it worth your while.”
“I won’t mind gagging you, if you don’t shut up.”
“Oh, you really are going all out! Well-”
Smack!
The sound echoed through the room. Mizu barely registered that he’d slapped him before he felt the stinging in his palm, saw the pale red mark begin to form on Fowler’s face as the man blinked in confusion, then looked up at Mizu.
“You are going to stay there”, Mizu said, before he could open his mouth to speak, “and you are going to be quiet. I will share this bed with you if it’s the only option we have, but you are not allowed to touch me, and if you insist on being difficult, I have no problem making this a lot less pleasant for you. Is that clear?”
Fowler was quiet for a long moment, and with his eyes wide and locked with Mizu’s, arms tied above his head, he looked almost… vulnerable. The sight made Mizu’s stomach lurch. It looked good on him.
Then his face grew hard, his eyes narrowing. “Can I at least take my clothes off?”
“No. You’re sleeping fully dressed. As am I.”
That was the only way Mizu could stand being so close to him.
At least they wouldn’t have to share a blanket. Mizu wrapped one of them around him like a protective cocoon, turning away from Fowler to stare into the darkness. He listened to his captive’s heavy breathing, the rhythm as even as the crashing of waves.
The more time that passed, the more the sound resembled the ocean, rolling together into one, washing over Mizu’s mind in a rush of gray and blue, and lit by bright amber, bright orange, reds and yellows, like the feathers of a phoenix, but there was no rebirth in the little hut that went up in flames before Mizu’s eyes, only death, in the crumbling structure, the rising smoke, and the shrill scream of the woman inside, pleading, begging Mizu to flee, or to save her, or to run in and wrap himself in her arms and die alongside her, because it was all he would ever be good for-
There came a kick to Mizu’s legs, and her eyes shot open, blinking as she took in the darkness around her. Her senses returned one by one - the itchy wool of her blanket, that sour smell she couldn’t place, the damp, cool, foggy air. Safety, so far away from the fire.
The shock of awareness of another body lying next to hers, the sound of breathing and a foreign warmth, and all of a sudden, she didn’t feel so safe anymore.
“You're squirming”, Fowler muttered - only half awake, by the sound of it. “Not sure how I’m expected to sleep, I’m uncomfortable enough already, and now this…”
Mizu didn’t answer, pleading her racing heart to slow down.
“Nightmare?”
“How is that any of your-”
Mizu spun around, but her sharp words died on her tongue as she saw a grin spread across his lips. Her anger had already given her away, and she narrowed her eyes, staring up at him, forcing herself to stay quiet.
“What about?” Fowler asked, far too calmly.
“That’s none of your concern”, Mizu muttered.
“Is that so? Because I think it is, if it’s going to keep me awake all night. You know, if yer gonna have a nightmare, this is a pretty good place to have it.”
Fowler turned away, staring into the nothingness above their heads. The room was a deep, dark blue, and Mizu realized, tugging the blanket a little closer, that in this light, they didn’t look so different. Pale eyes and pale skin, the red of his hair washed out into a dark gray by the night.
“My sister”, he said. Mizu only listened with half an ear, sure that this was just the beginning of another one of his meaningless rants. “Used to dream about her a lot, when I was your age. Y’see, she was dead when I moved here, in the worst way possible, and I had to watch over her corpse for three days before I could bury her. But I never dreamt about that, oh no. Every way I could think to fail her, my mind made me go through once I fell asleep. Before my very eyes, I watched her get buried alive, or stabbed in the back by the boys I used to trust - old men, now, and you know their names - or… you remember the big river runnin’ through the city? I kept dreamin’ of her bein’ held underwater by those English bastards, like a mockery of a baptism, while they were holding my arms back. Night after night, there was nothing I could do to save her.”
His voice fell away, leaving a hole in the sour-smelling velvet air of their dark bedroom.
Mizu looked away.
“My mother”, she said at last. “My husband.”
“Oh? Two of them?”
“More.” She thought about Kinuyo.
“How’d they die?”
“I’ve told you enough.” She pulled the blankets closer, as if that would keep her safe. “We should sleep.”
“Well, here I am, spillin’ my guts to the person who’s going to kill me, and you can’t even humor me enough to return the favor. At least give me something!”
Mizu couldn’t help the frustrated growl that slipped from her. Her hand shot out, gripping Fowler by the throat, just below his jaw, tipping his head back and squeezing as she sat up to tower over him. “You’re pushing your luck.”
His little ploy was transparent as glass. Why else would he spill his sob story to her now, when he had been so secretive before? Mizu hadn’t known anything about him, and she hadn’t wanted to. It was such a shameless, blatant attempt to pull her into his arms, it was pathetic… so why was she so tempted to give in?
She took a deep breath and eased her grip, tipping her head back as she blinked away the tears that had begun to well up. She prayed that he couldn’t see them glisten in the dark.
“Little Miss…?”
Mizu reached out, her hand finding the knife on her bedside table. He flinched under her touch as she raised it, as if she were about to stab it into his bared throat, and wouldn’t that feel wonderful?
Instead, the blade sliced clean through the rope.
She didn’t give him the time to orient himself before she laid back down, resting her head on one of his broad shoulders, her back turned towards him, maintaining her distance even as she soaked up his body heat.
She didn’t think it would help against the nightmares. If anything, it might make them worse.
He lay still beneath her for a long moment, before slowly beginning to relax. She heard his pulse slow as he realized that he would live to see tomorrow, and then it was her turn to freeze when she felt him shift to tuck his head against hers. “Yer not scared I’ll try anything?” he muttered into her hair.
Terrified.
“This… this will be easier for us both if we don’t talk”, Mizu said. A tear rolled down her cheek, soaking into the sleeve of Fowler’s shirt - she hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Tomorrow, we’ll go back to how things were. As if nothing happened.”
“You tell yourself that, Little Miss”, Fowler said, shifting to pull Mizu just a little closer. “Sleep well.”