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It wasn't that questionable at first. People wore what they wanted to wear all the time. Genba didn't always understand the fashion choices, but then again a lot of people didn't understand his sense of fashion anymore than he did theirs.
But... now it was concerning. Genba had come to realize something and it was just... weird. Jou and him had been hanging out for a while now. Had started dating. And yet... he never saw him without long-sleeves on.
Genba hadn't thought much of it at first. It was just how Jou dressed. Right? But then it got hot and he still insisted on wearing long-sleeves despite how clearly he was way too hot in it. That was when something made Genba realize this was more than what he had thought. There was a reason for this choice of clothes.
Genba never knew how to approach the topic. He didn't feel like just asking Jou straight out would go over well. Sure, he'd probably get an answer. Jou wouldn't deny his question but... he wouldn't be happy having to explain without being ready. But... how did he get Jou to tell him?
And then he realized another thing. He was pretty certain everyone but him had seen Jou in short-sleeves at some point. So... he was hiding something from him specifically? Genba didn't know what to make of this new information. He really just wanted to know what was going on.
He did finally get his answer. In the way he hadn't wanted to go about it. He had wanted to surprise Jou and entered his house without telling him he was dropping by. Genba hadn't thought it would be that big of a deal, but then he found Jou just coming out of the bathroom, from the look of it having just finished taking a shower. And he had a tanktop on. And that was when Genba finally saw what he had definitely been trying to hide from him.
"I-" Jou was frozen in his step, staring at Genba with wide eyes.
"I, uh... thought I could give you a surprise visit..." Genba said, fumbling to try and explain why he was here. He didn't know if it was important, but figured Jou should know why he came over so suddenly. And maybe he just wanted to break the tension if he could.
Jou unfroze from his position and backed away, shaking his head. He brought his arms around to hug himself tightly.
"Hey..." Genba cautiously approached him. "It's okay."
"Go away..." Jou whispered. Did he not have the strength to be firm?
"Jou, please. Why did you think you needed to hide this from me?" Genba stood before him, having accidentally backed Jou into a wall.
He gently grabbed Jou's arms and unwrapped them. He brought up one of them close to his face, looking it over. There were faded scars on his arm. None were very new, much to Genba's relief, but they were still visible if you were looking.
"I... I'm sorry..." Jou mumbled. Tears were forming in his eyes.
Genba pressed a kiss to his wrist. "There's nothing to apologize for."
"You... don't hate me for this...?"
Genba met his gaze, now filled with concern at the question. "Why would I ever hate you? This isn't your fault. I'm sorry you felt like this was the only thing you could do."
In an instant, he was crushed into a hug. Jou started crying as he grabbed onto Genba as tightly as he could. Genba frowned and hugged him back.
"Let it out... it's okay." Genba soothed.
"I... you've all been so nice about this... I don't understand... everyone else always called me a freak..."
Now rage was building up inside of him. How dare anyone say that?! How dare someone tell that to him...
"I'm sorry people have been so cruel to you over this." Genba said quietly. "No one deserves to be treated like that."
Jou slowly released him from his grip. Genba gave him a warm smile as he looked at him. Genba lead Jou to his bedroom, motioning for him to sit. Jou hesitated and then took a seat, Genba sitting right beside him.
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but I'm here if you need to talk. Okay?" Genba wrapped an arm around Jou's body.
Jou glanced at him, and then stared down at his feet. He started playing with his hands. "I... I've been clean for 8 months I think."
"I'm very proud of you for getting this far." Genba pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Jou spared another glance at him. "I... I've kind of always struggled with depression. Things never really went my way and it kept making me go lower and lower. I know I... I see like I have everything together and am happy but... a lot of it has always been a facade."
"Your parents didn't help you?" Genba asked quietly.
Jou took in a deep breath. "They tried. They really did try but... they were the type that thought if you just tried hard enough it would go away and obviously I just wasn't trying hard enough to not be depressed. I... I was 13 when I first... hurt myself."
Genba pulled him into a hug, not knowing what else to do. He didn't know what to say to that.
"I... I thought that maybe if I could help other people like I never was that... maybe I would be able to feel better. That if I could be a hero for someone else, I could get better. But, I never felt like a hero despite helping others." Jou continued, his voice cracking a bit as his spoke. "You all... are the first people I've really... been happy around. I mean, I love my job as a police officer and all but this... it actually makes me feel like I'm finally doing something with my life."
"I'm glad we've been able to help you." Genba said. "Do the others... know?"
Jou hesitantly nodded. "Yeah... it was similar to this how they all found out. Saw my scars and I couldn't just pretend it didn't happen."
"You said you've been clean for 8 months. That's longer than before we met."
"I... I ended up in the ICU because of my harm. I didn't intend to attempt but it..." Jou trailed off. "It scared me, that I could go that far. I swore no matter how much I hurt I couldn't... I wasn't going to die that way."
"What do you do when you feel down?"
"Just hope it stops. Sleep as much as I can."
"Well, I can distract you in any way you'd like if you ever start feeling that way again." Genba offered.
"Thank you..." Jou whispered. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this..."
"I'm sorry for intruding. I should've given you a heads-up. I won't try to surprise visit again."
"I... okay." Jou nodded.
"You alright?" Genba asked. "This was a heavy conversation."
Jou nodded. "I'll be okay... I'm just... tired. It's been a long day and... having to unleash these feelings again is draining."
"Cuddle?"
"That'd be nice."
They laid down on the bed. Genba flicked off the light and then pulled Jou into a hug. Jou returned the hug and buried himself against Genba's side.
"I'm glad you're still here." Genba whispered. "You know... you may not feel like a hero for this but, I think you've been one for a long time just trying to survive this hell in your head."
"Living with this makes me a hero?" Jou repeated.
"I think it does."