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Tsurugi had always known there was something different about him. He was pretty sure everyone else had known too. He was never someone that could be considered normal. No matter how hard he might have tried to blend in, he never exactly could.
He was told so many things because of this. Put down for acting weird. Yelled at for not paying attention. Taunted for not doing what someone wanted even though he was following their directions, or so he had thought. Made fun of for his big interest in space when no one even thought it possible to go there.
All-in-all, Tsurugi was used to being treated as an outcast. It never seemed to get better even when he had finally found out why he just seemed different than most people around him. It didn't matter to them. He was weird so they had a right to mock him.
Even when he did achieve his goal of going into space and started forming friendships and alliances with the many star systems, even those lifeforms also thought him strange. At least most assumed that was just how humans were. But that didn't mean he was safe from comments about his behaviors and the likes. There were very few who were kind about it, but even then it wasn't like they got it still. He was all alone.
So, when he met the Kyurangers, he was prepared to be made fun of again for all the weird things he did. It wasn't like he could pretend it was how all humans worked anymore. Too much time had passed for anyone, especially those in Rebellion, to not have any idea what a normal human would act like. It also wasn't helping that the other human on the ship didn't behave like he did. That just furthered the fact he was weird.
Though, Tsurugi hadn't expected the way things went. He wasn't used to being treated as more human than most liked to think he was.
"Tsurugi, amore mio, that's... not what you're supposed to do."
"But that's what it says to do."
Spada had invited Tsurugi to help him cook something. Probably a horrible idea, but you live and learn. He had even laid out a physical recipe for them to follow to make it easier. And yet somehow... he was still messing up.
Tsurugi was bracing for getting teased over it. Spada wouldn't yell at him or mock him. He was too kind for that, especially to do such a thing to his boyfriend. But teasing was not out of the question in Tsurugi's mind. And sometimes the teasing stung worse than just getting yelled at for being an idiot.
Spada was looking over the recipe, rereading the step that he had given Tsurugi to do.
"Well, I mean, it does say that but you're not mean to take it that literally." Spada finally said. "Did you not cook much?"
Tsurugi shrugged. "Not complicated things like this."
"I really don't think this is that complicated but, maybe it is. Here. Let me show you what it meant." Spada said.
Tsurugi nodded and stepped back. He was a bit confused by the compassion over his mistake. No teasing him. No making fun of him for reading things wrong. Just figured out what happened and showing him how to fix it.
That was one of many instances that he was confused over. Someone who didn't treat him like an idiot for doing something so simple wrong.
Even the fact that he seemed overly picky about foods sometimes didn't bother Spada. Spada quickly learned what he refused to eat and would avoid serving him anything like that. He hadn't even said anything when Tsurugi had explained (complained, perhaps) that the texture was weird and he didn't like it. Or that the smell was too strong for him. Spada just noted his preferences down and avoided it.
He always got yelled at for being picky. There were many nights he went hungry because he refused to even try to eat something served to him.
...
Tsurugi still questioned how he managed to get a boyfriend. He barely let Spada touch him as simply as holding his hand. He hated the feeling of skin on his.
That was another moment he had been prepared to be ridiculed. Called ridiculous for not being able to stand something so simple. Perhaps forced to endure it still. His family had certainly never cared about how much he hated physical contact.
"So, is there ever a time I can touch you?" Spada had instead asked.
Tsurugi stared at him, dumbfounded by how easily he was accepting the issue. "W-well... it's gonna sound stupid but... I need to be prepared for it and then normally I'm okay for a while to do it."
Spada nodded along at his words. "Just let me know whenever you're okay with it then."
"You... don't mind?"
Spada shook his head. "Not at all. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If you don't like physical touch, that's your preference."
Tsurugi nodded, but was still unsure how to comprehend this kindness. He had never had someone care enough to respect what most called arbitrary rules. Yet, Spada continuously accepted his condition without hesitation.
...
Tsurugi hated hanging out with everyone. Not because he didn't like them. But, there were too many of them and it was too loud when everyone was in one room having ten different conversations at a time. Tsurugi could never focus enough to follow along with any conversations. He tried to keep to himself and just observe.
But, the noise was overwhelming. He felt sick. He hated when this happened. Hated when he ended up in sensory overload. All he wanted was to try and fit in with everyone. He wanted to join in, but he couldn't. It was too painful to do so.
Tsurugi couldn't handle it anymore and removed himself from the situation before he had a breakdown in front of everyone. He retreated to his room and shoved himself under the covers on his bed. The nice thing about being on a ship in space was that there was no natural light. His room was pitch black and would stay that way till he turned on a light. It made it easier to get his sensory overload back under control.
"Tsurugi?" A knock sounded on his door. Spada.
Tsurugi had no idea how long it had been. He lost track of time very easily when he was in a state like this. Someone must've seen he was gone and Spada came to find him. Maybe Spada was the one who noticed as well.
"It's not locked." Tsurugi called. He didn't feel like getting up. He wasn't ready to face the world yet.
"Why are you in the dark?" Spada asked, indicating he had opened the door.
"I like it."
"You okay? How come you left without a word?" Spada sat down on the bed.
Tsurugi peaked out of the covers, only to find he still couldn't see anything. Spada hadn't turned on the lights on him? That was new too. He was used to everyone forcibly making his room light up when he was sitting in the dark comfortably.
"I... it was too loud. Sorry..." Tsurugi mumbled. He didn't know any good way to explain why he left without a word. He didn't just want to say if he stayed there a minute longer he might've started breaking down. Whether into anger or tears, he wasn't sure.
"Too loud?" Spada repeated.
Tsurugi sighed. He might have to just explain. He had been trying to not tell anyone why exactly he was different. He just wanted to seem like any other person did. But, it was bound to happen eventually especially when no one treated him badly over his issues.
"I... do you know what autism is?" Tsurugi asked quietly.
"I've heard of it. I think one or two of my siblings were that way." Spada replied. "Why?"
"I... have it." Tsurugi replied. "That's... why I seem weird, probably. I have a lot of sensory issues and... yeah. I couldn't stay there anymore. I would've lost it. I was too overwhelmed."
"I see..." Spada replied. "I never realized you were struggling so much."
"Just thought I was picky?"
"No. I guess I'm just used to it. I said two of my siblings had it so I guess I probably just didn't even think twice about the weird accommodations you needed."
Tsurugi sat up. He pressed a button on his side table and a dim light lit up the room.
"So... you've never thought much of my behavior?" Tsurugi questioned.
Spada shook his head. "No. Just thought it was you. Everyone's different, after all. We all just assumed it was just how you were. With how old you are, maybe that was just how it was back then. You know?"
"My word... and I've been worried you've all been silently judging me..."
Spada frowned at his statement. "You thought we'd be judging you like that?"
"Everyone else always has. No one ever cared even when I explained I can't help it. They just mocked me for it. That's... why I didn't even bother trying to tell any of you. Figured it wouldn't make a difference." Tsurugi explained.
"That's... horrible. You deserved so much better." Spada stated.
"It's fine... it's in the past... I'm glad... I'm glad to have a place that cares for once."
"Do you want to tell everyone else this then?"
"I... guess I should." Tsurugi said. He was still hesitant.
"It'll be okay. I'm sure everyone will be the same way. We just want to make this somewhere everyone is welcome." Spada reassured him.
Tsurugi took in a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. Let me just... brainstorm how I want to do it. I hate not having a plan."
"Of course. Do you want any help?" Spada smiled at him.
"If you have any ideas what would be a good way to do it... you know them all better than I do."